I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters

Tonight I'm writing you, a million miles away

Tonight is all about I miss you

Tonight is all about I miss you now

Homesick at Space camp; Fall Out Boy (slightly changed)

BIG LETTER! APOLOGIES FOR THOSE WHO DON'T LIKE THEM, BUT THAT MEANS YOU'LL HAVE TO SKIP IT RIGHT?


The next four weeks felt like the hardest of Ivys life. She was used to the absences of her father, his work with the Kings Own had often caused him to be away for large chunks of her childhood, but Matthews absence was new to her. Since they had met they had hardly been seperated, yet now he was camping somewhere on the border of Tortall, and she had not heard from him at all. As far as she knew, he was still alive, but there was no certain way of knowing. Ivy and Buri spent the majority of the next few weeks with Kel's friend Yuki, Daine, Thayet and Cecilia. Although the company was welcome, it reminded all of them that their lovers or husbands were not there, which eventually led to Daine-who tried to pin it on pregnancy hormones-, Cecilia and Yuki breaking down into tears. Ivy had taken thisas a hint to leave, not wanting her aunts and friend to see her cry, and spent the next few dayson her own in her room. Not until there was aknock on the door announcing a letter did Ivy come out, and she remained out only long enough to get the letter, written -to her relief- in Matthews handwriting. She returned to her room and tore open the envelope, unfolding the thick parchment inside.

Dear Ivy,

First and foremost, I miss and love you. It feels like I'm writing from a million miles away.I can't believe how much I've changed since meeting you. Six months ago, a war would have been like an adventure, something that needed to be done, something I looked forward to. Now I don't want anything but to be with you, away from here. I don't care how tame this war is at the moment, it'll get worse.

The ride here was... how shall I put this? Eventful? The git given to us as a General decided that anyone talking between breakfast and lunch had to dig the latrine that night and had to eat nothing but bread and water for three days ... Raoul, Numair, Gareth, Alanna, George, Kel and I all got it every day ... wonder why that is... oh and did I mention the fact that we're still on latrine duty for another month, because apparently the war doesn't start until you've made the permanent camp... I knew he was going to be a moody piece of stormwing dung, but I'm seriously considering getting my knife out on him! Speaking of latrine duty, I've just got back from it, I stink and I have someones dung on me. I just hope to the Gods that its not Gavins or I will actually retch... Sorry about all this complaining... I've never wanted to be home as much as I do now...

We've now found out how they overthrew Kaddar. Well, I say we, I mean George's expert team of spies... (yes he was leaning over me when I wrote that bit.) It turns out that the man Rageo is a distant relative of Kaddar's, something like his second cousin. Kaddar had invited him to stay at his palace for a while, giving him unlimited access to all areas of the palace and the Knights training grounds. Rageo's father was a rich noble in South Carthak, and when he died he left all of his money to Rageo, (we still don't know his first name yet.) Rageo bribed their Generals with something like 10,000 gold nobles each... you can understand why they complied really, can't you? Rageo has a grudge against Kaddar. It turns out that Kaddar banned his father from any goings on at court, but didn't strip him of his noble priveleges. Apparently, before being banned, Rageo's father was the Prime Minister, but I don't really know all that much about it. We still haven't had word of your cousin Kalasin, she hasn't been found as yet, dead or alive, but Raoul says there's not much hope for her if she hasn't been found yet.

There's only been one battle so far. It wasn't particularly big, but we still lost a man, Owen of Jesslaw. Kel's not been eating much, something that your Dads not too happy about. Dom's been trying to cheer her up, but she keeps pushing him away... its torture watching her, but none of us seem to be able to do anything. Cleon of Kennan's tried cheering her up too, but there's some kind of history there and she doesn't seem to want to listen. Raoul's attempting it now too, hopefully he'll be more successful, we need Kel in top form. She wanted to go back to Jesslaw for the funeral, but guess who's stopped her? Another reason for me to knife Gavin as soon as I have the chance...

I don't want to write about the war any more. I want to forget about the whole thing. I miss you so much. I feel so cold and lonely every morning when I wake up and you're not there, and then in the day when I look around and can't see you, I just feel like I'm a candle thats been put out... and I have no idea what a candle feels like... and I know you're frowning at me now, -it was true, she was- wondering what I've been drinking to compare myself to a candle, but I haven't drunk anything, though Gavins trying to give out rations of brandy and other drinks to keep us 'jolly.' The rest of the army seem to think its a great revelation, and that a couple of drops of brandy will make everything all better again... then there's your stubborn family and I, refusing it. Maybe we're the only people who actually realise it won't help.

General Git -new nickname for him, do you like it- is calling, so I need to go and be a good little soldier and 'report for duty'. I'll write again soon sweetheart.

I miss you and I love you.

Take care beautiful

Yours always

Matthew x

Ivy read the letter through five times, trying to imagine Matthew sat writing it. It helped a little, knowing that she still remembered him well enough to imagine him doing something she had never watched him do, but it wasn't enough to fill the hole that had been present in her heart for the last month. No letter was enough to get rid of the sinking feeling that was in her heart when she fell asleep, knowing that she might never fall asleep with Matthew again.


I hate letters . .. . they bore me, but I kind of needed to show what happened in a way other than switching to Matthew suddenly because that will happen in the next chapter, but first you must all review and help me break the hundred mark ... oh and sorry about the length ...

Review please :)

Mage of the Heart