I dont own any of the Tamora Pierce characters
'Because I love the way you move, when I'm inside of you!' -
Hoobastank - Inside of You
Garrick looked at her as she lay there, sleeping. She wasn't like she'd expected. From her rough, ambitious personality, he'd expected her to be just the same in bed. He was shocked to find that she was, instead, gentle, loving, and willing to merely be held. He wasn't disappointed. He liked her like that. She was less centered around the world of knighthoods and war, and more centered around the moment. It was something he hadn't expected, but was happy to have found.
Ivy stirred, looking up at Garrick through blurred eyes. She waited for her eyes to focus properly, then smiled. His brown eyes were overtaken by a soft gaze, that made butterflies enter her stomach.
"Hey..." she said, then stifled a yawn.
"Hey sleepy..." Garrick murmured, stroking her hair from her face and leaning down to kiss her cheek. "Thought you were dead to the world for a while there..."
Ivy smiled weakly. "Sorry... I didn't mean to fall asleep... it was just... comfortable..."
Garrick nodded. "I know... its fine..." he lay himself down next to her. "I'm sorry if I came over too... controlling. I just... I don't like my relationships to be... lighthearted... I want commitment."
Ivy grinned. "For someone who talks about turning women on so lightly, you sound a little too committed.
Garrick smiled. "It's not my fault if women like sweat... and besides... it could have helped some men find soulmates..." he tweaked her nose, then stopped. "What's wrong?" He said, though there was a slightly knowing look in his eye.
Ivy shook her head. "Nothing..." she said. It wasn't nothing. At the mention of 'soulmates' Ivy had felt her insides freeze. Matthew was her soulmate. What if she were wrong? What if Matthew wouldn't have wanted her to find other loves and be with other men? She was his soulmate. He was supposed to be the one for her. Was it wrong for her to be in Garricks arms?
"It's your... fiancee... isn't it?" Garrick said quietly.
Ivy looked at him carefully, then nodded.
"I'm sorry..." Garrick said. "I should have thought..."
"It's fine... I'm fine..."
"No... I shouldn't have said it..." He reached out hesitantly and took her hands bringing it to his lips. "I'm sorry... I know you and him were meant to be soulmates... I should have thought about it..."
Ivy said nothing, but rested her head on his shoulder, trying to keep her tears at bay. It wasn't fair on Garrick. She couldn't cry with him here...
"Do you want me to go? So you can think?" Garrick said gently, one hand massaging her shoulder.
Ivy shook her head. "No... don't go..."
Garrick hesitated. "You sure?"
She nodded. "I'm sorry... I just... get these moments when I miss him."
Garrick nodded. "I understand..."
Ivy snuggled closer to him. "Thank you..." she murmured.
Garrick smiled. "It's fine..." He kissed her forehead.
Maybe it was his understanding. Maybe it was the constant reassurance that he was there for her, but suddenly, Ivy felt a change within her. When she was with Garrick, she could be herself. She could be a mourning lover or a happy teenager, and to him, it didn't matter. If she was down, he'd hold her, whispering in her ear that, no matter what, he'd be there. If she was happy, he'd take her on walks through the city, holding her hand and making her laugh. It was a feeling she hadn't felt since Matthew had been with her, and it was welcomed back. Whereas before meeting Garrick, she had been waiting anxiously for her Ordeal in Midwinter so that she could go and fight, now she could only watch with sadness as the days slipped by, every day meaning she was one step closer to being a knight, one day closer to stepping out into battle and having no certainty of coming back... Garrick also seemed to notice her depression. He would always find a way to get round it though, whether it was by taking her to the market and spoiling her -with money from a place unknown to Ivy-, by sitting with her in her rooms and talking, or by making love to her gently whenever they had the chance. It was something Ivy loved; the certainty that she was going to be held in someones arms at night was more than she had had in a long time. And it gave her more confidence than she had felt in a year and a half. She could finally step into the city without thinking about certain places where Matthew had been, she could finally fence in the practice courts without remember fencing Matthew. He wasn't gone from her memory completely, and she was always aware that he was not there, but he wasn't constantly filling her vision any more. He wasn't there, in front of her mind, keeping her from going to places she was used to going.
It was January. A thick layer of snow covered Corus, constantly getting deeper and deeper. Garrick loved the snow. Ivy hated it.
"It's too wet. It's too cold! I'm not dressed for it!" She argued one evening as he tried to get her to have a snowball fight with him.
"Come on!" He said, putting his hands on her waist and nuzzling her neck. "You want to really!"
"No I don't! I hate the cold!"
"No, you just haven't spend long enough in it! Come on missy, don't go all stuck up on me now!"
That got her. Ivy glared at him. "I am not stuck up!"
"Sure..." he smirked. "Come on then, prove it!"
"Fine!" Ivy snapped. Shewent over to her drawers and pulled out her silks and furs.
"Oh come on you wimp!" Garrick said. "Shirtand breeches! Come on!"
"You are joking?" Ivy whined.
"Nope. It's a commoners life for me..." he grinned at the furs and silks in the drawers. "Besides, they'll make you look fat!" He ducked in time to avoid a pillow. "That was meant to be a compliment!" Garrick said, standing up again. "That was saying you aren't fat!"
Ivy raised an eyebrow. "Course you were..." she muttered.
"I was!" Garrick insisted.
"Right..." Ivy said. "I guess you win. Can't have you thinking nobles are wimps now can we?"
"No," Garrick agreed. "It just wouldn't be right for me to think that!"
Ivy regretted it now. She was outside in the cold, in nothing but a thin shirt and a pair of loose breeches. Garrick seemed to find it highly amusing. Ivy herself was trying to rub some warmth into her arms, whilst ducking and avoiding snowballs that Garrick aimed at her. It was difficult. Apart from her hands being totally numb and her being unable to feel them on her arms, Garrick was a good shot, and rarely missed, even when she moved. Finally, she gave up trying to avoid them, and instead heading over to him, trying to nestle into his chest and gain some of his warmth. Garrick smiled.
"Nice try." He laughed. "But I'm not hugging you if that's what you're after!"
Ivy glared at him. "Who said that was what I was after?"
He grinned. "Nobody." He leant forward and whispered in her ear, "they didn't have to." He smiled and walked away, scooping up a handful of snow. "Now get ready to get hammered!"
She was shivering. She was wet. Garrick watched and grinned as she opened her mouth to speak, but her lip trembled. He was being mean. But her top was see through, and it was rewarding to be able to see her breastband without having to remove any of her clothes. He smiled to himself and walked over.
"That'll do..." he smiled. "For today." he winked and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to his chest and sharing his warmth with her.
"I... am... ne... nev... never... doing... th... this... aga... again..." Ivy stammered.
Garrick chuckled. "If you say so. We'll see though won't we?" He squeezed her shoulders and leant down to whisper in her ear. "Besides... you being cold... well... lets say its not all bad..." He reached a hand down to stroke her back and smiled when she froze in his hands.
"Come on." He said, louder. "My rooms. I've had the maid put hot bricks in between the sheets..." he trailed off and smiled.
"I didn't know you could get maids to do your housekeeping... I mean... you work here." They were lying entwined beneath the sheets of Garricks bed. Garrick had been right. The maid had put several hot bricks in, and the heat was a welcome change from outside.
"I do, but something about courting the King and Queens niece puts me in good favour... I get treated like nobility... you know, sometimes I can see why you like it so much..."
Ivy smiled and stifled a yawn.
"Sleepy head." Garrick stated.
Ivy nodded. "It's your fault."
"Oh I don't doubt that for a second." he smiled down at her and stroked her cheek. "You're very, very pretty..." he said quietly.
Ivy grinned. "I'd heard that..."
"I'm sure you have... it's the truth after all..."
Ivy hid a smile. She liked it when Garrick spoke like this. Maybe it was because of his common speech usually, but when he tried on the role of nobility, it suited him.
"Plus," he said quietly, "I know you'll never remember to do it for yourself, so we'd both end up freezing then, wouldn't we?" he smiled down at her, then leant down to kiss her. Herlips were chapped. He tookgreat care running his tongueover them, working the moisture back into the so that when he opened her mouth with his tongue,herlips didn't bleed. She smiled into his mouth,letting his arms wraptight aroundher body.
He pulled away and looked at her. "I could get used to this..." he told her quietly.
Ivy smiled. "Me too..." He kissed her again, gently.
"I really could..."
"So where'd he get them?" Garrick asked quietly. He was looking at the necklace and ring, both of which Ivy still wore, both as a reminder of Matthew, and as a safety precaution during love making.
"He made them." Ivy said, watching as Garrick ran his fingers over the slender chain around her neck.
"How?" Garrick asked, intrigued.
"He was a Pyro. He just had to put his finger to a diamond and he got it..."
Garrick frowned. "He could do that?"
Ivy nodded.
"I didn't know they could..." his hand lingered on the chain, then slowly slid to take the diamond in his hand. There was a second where nothing happened, then light flared around Garricks hand and he drew it back instantly. His hand was blistering.
He looked at his hand. "Doesn't it hurt you?" he asked.
Ivy shook her head. "It doesn't do that to me..."
Garrick looked at the necklace suspiciously for a moment, then shrugged and got up to rinse it in the bowl of water beside the bed.
Ivy watched him, then touched the necklace. It was cold, yet somehow, it had burnt Garrick. She wondered if it was safe. If Numair were here, she'd have asked him, but he wasn't. But Uncle Jon might be able to tell...
"I don't see anything wrong with it Ivy." Jonathan said quietly, putting the necklace down. "Nor with the ring. It's possible that as part of Matthew is contained in the diamond, its showing his feelings towards Garrick..." He saw the scared look on Ivy's face and shook his head. "I'm sure it's nothing." He assured her. "It's merely natural. As far as yourself and Garrick's relationship goes, as long as he doesn't touch it for too long, he'll be safe."
Ivy nodded. "So you don't think it's dangerous."
"Not in the long run, no. Just don't let Garrick become exposed to it, it could burn him..."
Was it her imagination, or had something in Jonathans eyes suggested that he didn't trust her new lover? She couldn't see why not. Of course, he was a commoner and a blacksmith, but it was hardly unheard of. Perhaps it wasn't that. Perhaps her Uncle knew there wasmore to the necklace than he was letting on... she was interrupted in her thoughts by Garrick entering the room.
"Hey." he said, walking over and sitting next to her. She noticed that his hand was bandaged. "It's fine." he said, seeing her eyes linger on his hand. "A few days and it'll be normal again..." he put an arm round her shoulders. "Something bothering you?" he asked, kissing her head lightly.
Ivy shook her head. "No..."
Garrick raised an eyebrow. "You expect me to believe that?"
Ivy shrugged.
"What is it?" Garrick asked, dropping his arm and looking at her. "You can tell me..."
"Honestly, it's nothing... I'm just... nervous I suppose... I mean, this time next year I'll either be dead or be a knight... it's scary."
Garrick nodded, but she could tell that he knew it wasn't the whole truth. "Anything else?" he probed.
Ivy hesitated then shook her head. "No. I'm fine, honestly."
"Ok..." he stood up. "Come on, lets go for a ride."he held out his good hand. Ivy looked at it, then put her hand in his, letting him pull her up into his arms.
"Where?" she asked, squeezing his hand lightly.
"Anywhere." Garrick grinned. "Wherever the wind takes us..."
Ivy laughed and rested her head on his shoulder. "Ok. Let's go then."
He took her through the city, to the nearby countryside. The ground was still covered in snow, and as the sun set, it sent a pink glow over the countryside.
"It's beautiful," Ivy stated from Thunders back. Garrick nodded. He was seated on a black horse, and was riding bare back.
"I know." He drew his horse over so that he could reach over and touch her. "So are you." He smiled at the look on her face. "Don't look so shocked. I'm just complimenting you."
"I know... thank you."
Garrick smiled and squeezed her leg. "Come on. Let's go. It's getting dark."
They were just unsaddling their horses when Ivy noticed Liam of Jesslawwalking past the stable.
"Hey. How are you?" she asked, leaning over the stable door.
Liam nodded. "I'm ok... you?"
Ivy smiled. "Things are looking up." She nodded at the wooden flute-like instrument in his hands. "What's that?"
"Oh it's nothing, just..." he trailed off when Garrick appeared beside Ivy and put an arm around her. Liam backed away, a look of fear and confusion in his eyes.
"Oh... Liam this is Garrick, Garrick, this is Liam of Jesslaw."
Garrick reached out a hand, offering it for Liam to shake. Liam gave him a look of horror, then ran in the other direction, back up to the Palace.
"Doesn't say much, your friend, does he?"
Ivy shook his head. "He's not usually like that... maybe it's just that he doesn't know you... he's had a hard time."
Garrick nodded and pulled her to him. "You'll have to introduce me properly another time..."
Liam continued to avoid Ivy whilst Garrick was with her. Unfortunately, he was there so much of the time, that Ivy never got the chance to find out why.
"Stop worrying." Garrick told her one night. "He probably just doesn't like the look of me. It's been eight months, I think it's fair to say he's not going to change his mind. And besides. You have much more important things to worry about. Your Ordeal's in four months. You need to be thinking about it and stop worrying about Liam. He'll come round when he's ready. You'll see."
He was right. Ivy was lying in bed, Garrick was beside her, his arms around her waist. She had bigger things to worry about. Her Ordeal. But what did she fear? That was what the Ordeal was all about. Facing fears. So what did she fear? At first, she thought she feared death. But no. Death was natural. There was nothing to fear from nature. What did she fear? She knew enough from Matthew and Raoul to know that the Ordeal would test her mind, her body, everything. The only problem was, she didn't know what she would be facing. She had never found something that terrified her, nothing that turned her blood to ice. Nothing that caused her to feel so much pain that... suddenly she remembered. She knew what she feared. And if the Chamber madeher relive that, she wasn't sure that she could survive...
Over the next few weeks, Ivy found herself sat in the Chapel of the Ordeal five times. Three times Garrick found her just in time to stop her opening the Chamber door and stepping in.
"What happens will happen. Stop worrying." He kissed her forehead. "You'll be fine. Just try and keep you mind off it and off Liam." He grinned cheekily. "There's always me to take your mind off things..."
Ivy smiled. "I know. I'm just worried... what if I don't come out again? It'll all have been for nothing."
Garrick nodded. "But you'll come out. You've got nothing to worry about."
With one month to go until her Ordeal, Ivy began to wonder whether her father and any of her Uncles or Aunts would be there. Thayet, Buri and Jonathan would. That was all that she knew. She thought of asking Jonathan to let her wait until the war was over before being knighted, but she knew the answer would be no. Knights were needed in the war. That would be exactly where she was going... if she made it. They wouldn't make an exception just for her, just because her family weren't there.
"Don't worry, your father and Uncles and Aunts will be here. Raoul made sure of it. He wouldn't miss being here for anything." Buri hugged her daughters shoulders. It was two weeks before her Ordeal. She had expected her family to be there by now if they were coming.
"They can't just leave and go on a months holiday..." Buri explained. "What state would that leave the army in? They'll only be able to manage a few days Ivy, but they'll be here."
But even with two days to go, her family were not there. Ivy had wanted Alanna and Kel to instruct her during her purifying bath, but it didn't seem possible. Instead, Ivy approached her Uncle Jonathan, and Alanna's adoptive father Myles, asking them to instruct her after her bathe. Myles was very old now, Alanna had told Ivy a few years before that he wasn't expected to live much longer, and that it was only the will to drink wine and be merry that was keeping him there. To Ivy though, he was much like a grandfather, and he drank so often, that it was difficult to tell that he was drunk. She knew he would oblige. He was a softie really... beneath the tough skin and the drunken tendencies.
Ivy was sat on her bed. She was shaking. She seemed incapable of doing anything. Garrick watched. She was nervous. She should have been sleeping, trying to catch up on the sleep she would lose, but she had woken in cold sweats five times in one hour and had eventually given up. In a few minutes, Garrick would walk her to her Purifying Bath ceremony, then leave her to sit vigil in the chapel all night, until she entered the Chamber of Ordeal, and her fate would be decided...
"I'll be here when you come out." Garrick insisted, gripping Ivy's hands.
Ivy nodded. She couldn't see the point in arguing with him. He would still argue she would make it.
"Ivy..." Jonathan said. "Go on."
Garrick squeezed her hands. "I love you." he told her. "I'll be here, I promise."
Ivy couldn't say anything. She nodded, and walked through to take her bath.
She sat for hours, staring at the stone door to the Chamber, wondering what was behind it, what was waiting for her. Her whole body shook uncontrollably. She was cold, and the white clothes she wore provided little protection from the chill of the chapel. Jonathan tapped her gently on the shoulder. She stood shakily. This was it. This would make or break her. The door opened, and Ivy stumbled through...
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