Author's notes: Okay everyone here we go. This is the big one; the battle for London is about to begin. This may or may not be the final chapter. For those of you Hellblazer fans who may be mad about Ash's treatment to Constantine; Constantine is a prick, it's about time someone told him down. Okay I may take it a little bit easier on him. Anyway here's the next chapter, enjoy and please review.

The five Trench coat clad heroes…well not exactly heroes, (one of them only in a white T-shirt and blue jeans) continued down the dark and rainy streets of London. Constantine made them stop along the way at a small apartment along the way. He told the others just to wait for him, and that head only be a wee moment. True to his word for once. Constantine emerged from the doors of the apartment only a few moments after he entered. After exiting he quickly placed an envelope in his jacket pocket and returned to the group. "What's that?" asked Ash.

"What this…Oh nothing special, private business mate," Constantine grinned. Ash shrugged and told Mr. E to continue leading the way. The six of them continued down the dreary streets until they entered an area of the city, which was in ruins. Glass and bricks littered the ground buildings barely standing were full of holes, many were torn down to the frames and most of them were on fire or had burn marks on them.

"Yep, the dead heads have been here alright," said Ash as he looked around the area, E continued to venture forth without even slowing down.

"No soddin kidding yank!" replied Constantine. "Jaisus Christ! What a mess!" Constantine exclaimed.

"Not that I'm too crazy about it, but you can say that again," said Ash still gazing at the destruction. As they continued down the streets they saw corpses of soldiers and policemen as well as police and armored vehicles; all drenched in blood and surrounded by fallen guns and bullet casings.

"Oh Christ!" exclaimed Constantine as he suddenly slapped his forehead with his right hand, his other hand dangling his shotgun.

"Now what?" asked Ash.

"I just remembered, me mate Mickey lives in this neighborhood!" said Constantine. "Just up the road from here," he said and began leading the way himself with a sense of urgency. The others followed after him. He stopped at an apartment building that looked like it would fall apart at any second. "He lives in there, we better go up an check," said Constantine.

"Hell no," bellowed Ash. "Look at that thing," said Ash pointing to the beaten up apartment building before them. "It has death trap written all over it!"

"Oi! Me mate Mick could still be in there!" Constantine bellowed at Ash.

"Come on Johnny," began Ash sympathetically. If the deadites haven't gotten him than he probably fled already."

"He's not the type to flee, he'd stay and fight for his place till the end," said Constantine. "We got to at least check, he may have some info for us too," Constantine suggested.

"It could be in our interest to get a birds eye view of our surroundings," said the Stranger.

"Constantine is right," Dr. Occult put in. "We must at least try to secure the safety of any survivors we can."

"Well I, don't know," said Ash. "It could be…alright screw it lets go. Tim, you and the Stranger stay here until we get back, got it?" Tim and the Stranger both nodded. "Okay here we go," said Ash.

"Right then, go for it mate," smiled Constantine.

"Me? By we I meant you…asshole," said Ash.

"Me…hey now see here ya prat," began Constantine.

"Hey this is your friend we're talking about right?" asked Ash. "I should think you would be in there by now."

"But the bleedin deadites could be in there!" wailed Constantine.

"Quite your bitching, we've got guns remember? And you've got the biggest one," replied Ash.

Constantine's grip on the gun that hung heavily in his arms slipped slightly, almost causing a catastrophic (would be hilarious) fall. "You had to remind me!" Constantine gripped. "Bloody hell this is looking to be way to much work and far to violent for an old pacifist like me," Constantine said with a sigh.

"You've got to be kidding me! Pacifist…oh look just forget the repetitive whining, lets just go," commanded Ash when he had finally had enough. Ash, Constantine, E and Occult made their way into the building and up the stairs to the second floor. All of them had their guns at the ready, except for Constantine who held his as if it were some nameless burden to be carried. Constantine led the way to one of the rooms further down the hallway. The door was already torn down and three of them walk strait in, E stayed outside saying he would keep watch. "Well good luck doing that brother," Ash replied as they walked through the door less doorway.

"Oh Jesus!" shrieked Constantine as they entered. He ran across the room to a corps on the ground, they were to late. Ash looked away from Constantine and his friend's tattered corps. Ash had seen enough of such confrontations, more than enough. "Wait I have me an idea that could get us a sent to follow," said Constantine as he squatted down next to he corps of his friend Mick and began muttering stranger words under his breath. After a few moments of gibberish, Constantine stopped and his friend's eyes began to glow sky blue. "Mick? Mickey boy do ya here me?" said Constantine, loud and clear.

"H-hey!" came a jolly English voice from the corps, the lips never moved. "Look who it is, it's the Dick head!" said the corps in response to Constantine's calls. Ash was starting to like this guy already.

"Oi! Up yours ya wanker!" bellowed Constantine in return.

"Packin heat now are ya, well a lota good it dose your friends now eh?" said the voice of Mick.

"Look mate, have you see where those dead things have gotten to?" asked Constantine.

"How should I know? Last time I saw them they were half way up your arse!" said the joking voice of John's dearly departed friend.

"Is this corps giving you a hard time?" asked E as he entered. None of the four of them noticed the strange glowing object hovering in Mick's ravaged kitchen, to their left.

"What's this? A blind man?" asked Mick's ghost. "Are you sods here to fight the demons or to play Marco Polo with em?"

"Okay clearly this guy is going to be no help at all and we have wasted valuable time which could have been used to find the deadites and stop them before they destroy what's left of this damn city. Come on guys lets get moving," said Ash as he turned and headed for the door. The others began to follow, Constantine reached into his left jacket pocket to find a replacement cigarette for the one that was almost burned out in his mouth. As he turned he caught a glimpse of a strange glowing yellow ball with a menacing evil face grinning at him from within it he turned back to the group with his new smoke in hand and suddenly froze in place, his eye's widened and he cursed himself and the other's out mentally for not noticing sooner.

"JAISUS, MARY AND FREAKIN JOE, THERE IT IS!" screamed Constantine as he turned back towards the entrance to Mick's kitchen, now aiming his shotgun in the semi-general direction as the demonic spirit, his smoke now squashed between this finger and the trigger guard. All the others turned to where Constantine now pointed his gun.

"HOLY SHIT RUN!" shouted Ash as he, Constantine, E and Occult all started shooting their guns wildly in at the demonic spirit. Ash and Occult appeared to be the only ones who might have actually damaged it if it were a possessed corps like the ones they fought earlier. E took one shot from his crossbow, as he started running backwards out the door.

Constantine fired off three rounds from his shotgun before he started running around frantically screaming, "OH, SODDING HELL, SODDING JAISUS, SODDING GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!

The demon soul began to slowly hover through the bullets toward the shooters. "Shit RUN!" shrieked Ash as he and Doctor Occult began to run too. It did not take them long to catch up to each other. Occult and E sprinted for the stairs, Ash and Constantine decided the Windows were a much more effective and time efficient route of escape, it was only a one-story fall.

"Women and children last!" screamed Constantine just before he and Ash leaped from the building windows.

"Run, run, run, run, run, run!" screamed Ash as he fell.

Back in the room Mick's voice laughed loud and hard. "What ya leavin already that's sodding hilarious!"

"Ah run Tim, run Wanker, bloody run!" shouted Constantine as he and the other three ran strait past Tim and the Stranger, both of whom were completely dumbstruck.

"John what's going on?" shouted Tim. "I thought we were suppose to fight the demons not race them," he shouted as the Stranger and he began to run after the others.

"That's right Tim we won! This is our victory lap!" shouted Constantine as he and the others continued down the road in the direction they were traveling in before.

Alone in his room now the spirit voice of Mick shouted after them, "Hey come back in here mates I think yer tiring the little sod out!" he then proceed to laugh louder and harder than ever. "My God if I ever laughed this much in life."

Ash and the others ran for another ten minutes, they all realized on the spot that their bullets had no effect on the demons unless they were in a human body. As if they could all read each other's minds they all stopped for a rest at a bus stop, rather the twisted skeletal remains of a bus stop. They all looked like living corpses, in that they could barely move, they breathed heavy and their eyes were that of desperate animals all except for the Stranger who seemed as calm and ready as always. Ash was the first to break the silence. "Damn it! You would think that after twenty some odd years of fighting these things I would figure out some kind of weapon to kill those spirit things," he grunted as he gasped for breath.

"What's this? The mighty Ash admitting defeat!" Constantine managed a laugh through his gasps he then reached into his pocket for another smoke.

"Yeah right, like you did any better," growled Ash. "I've seen blind men aim straighter than you!"

"What are you talking about you twat!" began Constantine. "I did exactly like you said with this cursed thing," said Constantine as he lifted the Holy Shotgun. "Just point and shoot you said. It's easy you said!"

"Maybe if you had just kept your cool like I also told you to do you might have hit something," Ash returned. "One minute you were shooting like a maniac, the next you were running around like a freakin chicken with your head cut off."

"Look mate, I do believe we went over this before, I'm not a soldier, I'm not a Crusader, and I'm not a Gun fighter!" began Constantine with frustrated anger. "I'm a bastard, I am a cheap, fowl mouthed, lying, godless bastard! I cheat people, I con people, I lead them off into the wrong direction, I screw them over, and I'm damn proud of it.

"Yeah but you also have a tendency to screw with the good guys," Ash pointed out. "Darkman here told me all about that little incident with the angle Gabriel years back. What's that all about? Whose damn side are you on pal?"

"I have my own side mate," returned Constantine as he lit his cigarette.

"Oh don't give me that third party bullshit!" bellowed Ash. "Good or Evil, pick one."

"Sure, no problem mate. Let me see here now, oh do Nazis count as good guys?" asked Constantine with a joking smile.

"What the hell kind of a question is that?" asked Ash now thrown off a bit.

"Apparently you label that snob Gabriel as a quote, good guy," Constantine began. "Well it just happens that one of my reasons for shoving old Gabby's face into the dirt was that he was assisting a freakin Neo Nazi politician in taking over the police and parliament," he said, Ash was thoroughly shocked but remained silent. "If I hadn't knocked the snob from his pedestal, the few blacks and Jews left in this bleedin country buy now would be eating their own shit in concentration camps! Need I say more?" asked Constantine.

"I see your point," said Ash. "In fact having heard that I can't say I blame you. But besides which, you really should get off that con-job routine. That sort of thing is gonna get you killed, yeah sure you might get away with it for a while, but there's always someone better than you, no matter who you are, with the exception of yours truly of course," Ash finished with grin.

"Not very likely mate, besides that little shoot out back there defiantly doesn't peg me as any John friggin Wayne," Constantine pointed out.

"Awe don't sell yourself short buddy," said Ash in a cheery tone. "Maybe if I had gotten a few more shots…"

"More like any bloody shots at all Yank!" Constantine cut in.

"Well I think I got at least one shot on him," said Ash in defense.

"He was a bloody spirit you twat! You can't shoot a ghost!" Constantine exclaimed.

"You hit nothing but air and the walls," said E as he entered the conversation.

"Oh yeah? How would you know pal? You were running strait backwards!" Ash shot back.

"The crossbow is a ranged weapon," E said as he held up his crossbow. "I need range in order to use it effectively."

"Right where were you going to fire it from the friggin moon!" asked Constantine.

"If you backed up any further you would have had to mail him the arrow!" stated Ash.

"And what bloody good would range do you anyway, Mr. E?" asked Tim from the other side of the bus stop. "Your blind!"

"Silence mongrel!" roared E at the sound of Tim's voice. "I will not take fowl tongue from you!"

"Hey!" barked Constantine. "Lay the hell off him ya prat!"

"Same here, you watch yourself bub!" said Ash.

"Such hypocrites," E laughed as he turned back to them. "You battle monsters only to defend other monsters."

"Oh really? Well don't you worry pal we'll fix that up for you right away. What do you say we start by killing you, you bastard!" replied Ash.

"Unbelievable!" sighed Tim.

"And people often wonder why the Stranger and myself like to keep quite," said Doctor Occult, the Stranger nodded in agreement.

"You would think after years of fighting evil they would figure out how to act mature!" exclaimed Tim.

"What did you say!" said Ash, E, and Constantine, all in unison.

"You got a lot of nerve sassing us Tim!" bellowed Constantine. E looked way to angry for words.

"This coming from the world renowned 'King of Sass,' nice try John," smiled Tim.

"John's right punk," said Ash. "No one likes a smart-ass."

"I don't mind," Dr. Occult put in with a smirk.

"Your not normal!" the three would-be brawlers bellowed again in unison.

"And a Blind demon slaying Zealot, a fowl mouthed, faithless, bigot, wizard, and a demon fighting American gunslinger with a chainsaw for an arm are suppose to be normal?" asked the doctor with a smile.

"The concept of normal is a very questionable and controversial concept as is," explained the Phantom Stranger from behind Dr. Occult. "One man's normal is another man's ridiculous…today's normal is tomorrows unusual…" the Stranger looked to the sky as a philosopher would, then continued to ramble on with more philosophical gibberish about what is normal and how it is all a matter of opinion. Ash, E and Constantine stood there, on the other side of the would-be bus stop with their fists clenched and their eyes narrowed with frustration. It was plain to see that Tim was barely able to hold back his laughter.

Ash finally broke the silence among the three of them. "Okay guys new, plan," he began as he looked to the two on his left and right. E you were right, as soon as we finish with the deadites, we kill them all…" Ash finished with his eyes glaring at the three on the opposite side of the bus stop, the infinitely more dignified and sensible three.

"Here, bloody here," said Constantine joining Ash in his glare.

"I would concur if I thought you were being serious," stated E, his glare already present.

Ash sighed. "You have to ruin everything don't you…wait a minute!" Ash paused. "Hasn't anyone been keeping watch? In case that demon thing was still following us?" asked Ash.

The Stranger instantly halted his lecture and turned to Ash. "We thought one of you would be keeping watch," he said.

"We thought one of you would be watching!" said Constantine.

"Not a word out of any of you!" E growled in recognition of an opportunity for his loud-mouthed companions.

A strange loud cross between a rumble and a groan was heard suddenly. Everyone leaped to their feet and began to back into a tightly packed group with Ash in the middle. They all looked around in the dark gray area around them they saw nothing but tattered buildings and occasionally, flickering streetlights. Another sound was heard this time sounding more like a moaning growl and much, much closer. So close the ones standing near the outside of the group could feel it behind them. Constantine, E, Occult, the Stranger and Tim all spun around and leaped back to see Ash, with his eye's sunken in, his teeth rotten and bulging out, his skin twisted and stretched and his eyeballs had rolled over white. With a low pitched mixture of a laugh and a growl a demonic voice came from Ash's body. "JOIN US!" it said.