I don't own any of the Tamora Pierce characters
So some mixed views from the last chapter then... well thats interesting...
Keep reading...
Matthew slammed the door closed, then leant against the wall for support. This couldn't be happening. There was no possible way that Ivy could be feeling that way... it wasn't right... what had he done to deserve being treated like this, as if he were the one who'd hurt her so many times? Why was Gavin the man earning Ivy's protection, when all Matthew had ever done was fall in love with her and tell her the truth? What had Gavin done that made him so special, so good? How could anything he had done make her so keen to stop him being killed?
Ivy stared at the closed door, tears streaming from her eyes. She didn't dare go after Matthew, in case he got angry with her... she didn't know what she would have said to him anyway. How could she tell him that Gavin wasn't all bad, after everything he had said and done? What if the man she liked, was just a fake, and that Gavin was just an extremely good actor? Was it possible that through all of the lies and the cheating, he'd shown a part of himself that was real? Or was she just hoping that somewhere there was a loophole, so that she wouldn't have to admit the one thing that was hurting her the most; she had fallen in love with a lie. She looked across at Gavin, feeling his eyes on her. Was it possible that the look in his eyes wasn't forced, and that he seriously felt something? She tore her eyes away from his. She wasn't in love with him. She loved Matthew. She had since as long as she could remember. She always would love him. Her feelings for Gavin could never compare to how she felt for Matthew. And her feelings for Gavin weren't even for Gavin. They were for Garrick, a man who didn't and never had existed. It had all been a lie. All of the comfort that he'd offered, all of his company... none of it had been real. It had just been a way to get back at Matthew for being a better man than he was. Ivy walked towards the door, trying to ignore the wave of sadness that took hold of her, knowing that her lover was a fake.
Matthew heard the door open and looked around. His breathing was heavy as he tried to control his anger. "What?" he asked quietly, avoiding Ivy's gaze.
Ivy looked at him for a few moments. "I..." she closed her mouth, then tried again. "I don't love him."
Matthew looked at her. "You don't?" he asked quietly.
Ivy shook her head.
"Really?" He asked. "So why do you not want him to pay for everything he's done? What's he done that means he can't deserve everything thats coming to him and more?"
Ivy looked at him. "I don't know..." she whispered. "I don't understand anything... I thought you were dead, Matthew... it's not my fault I fell for him..."
Matthew nodded. "I know... sweetie, I know..." he pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her. "I know... I'm sorry..." he ran a hand gently through her hair. "I didn't mean to over-react... I'm sorry..." he kissed her forehead softly. "I know it's hard sweetie, I understand..." he rubbed her back gently and tilted her head up to kiss her. She sighed slightly, then kissed him back. After several minutes, Matthew pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.
"I love you..." he murmured quietly. "And I'm sorry..."
Ivy nodded. "I am too... I love you..."
Matthew smiled weakly. Then his smile vanished. "Come on." he said quietly. "We should go back in..."
Ivy nodded slowly, then stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek, before re-entering the room.
Gavin looked at Ivy as she entered, a small glimmer of hope in her eyes. She ignored him, and gripped Matthew's hand slightly harder than was neccesary. He squeezed back reassuringly, then looked at Jonathan.
"So what happens?" He asked quietly.
Jonathan sighed. "It's possible for Ivy to drop the charges against him for rape, if thats what she wants..." he looked at his niece, who shook her head slowly. Matthew held her tighter as he noticed the anger flare in Gavins eyes. "As for the rest of it," Jonathan continued, "He has to face the consequences of betraying his realm, as well as kidnapping and masquerading..." he shook his head. "There's no way he can get any better than death on Traitors Hill."
Ivy gulped. "Wh... what?"
Matthew looked down, not wanting to see the look on Ivy's face that told him it wasn't what she wanted.
"Ivy... he deserves it..." until then, Raoul had remained silent, now he spoke for the first time in a hoarse voice. "After everything he's done to you... you're better off without him..."
Matthew avoided looking at Ivy, but pulled her to his chest, feeling her shaking.
"When?" he asked Jonathan.
Jonathan hesitated. "Within a day of capture... by sunrise tomorrow..."
Matthew nodded slowly. "Right..." he looked at Gavin, who sat tight lipped, not taking his eyes off Ivy. Matthew resisted the urge to hit him and tell him to look elsewhere. He looked down at Ivy, feeling a slight wet patch on his shoulder. Anger began to well up inside him, but he forced himself to control it. He tilted her head to see that she was sleeping, biting her lip as she dreamt. He gently scooped her into his arms, holding her for a few seconds. He looked over at Jonathan and Ivy's family. "I'll be back in a few minutes..." he murmured, and carried her out of the room.
He laid her gently down on the bed, kissing her lips lightly.
"I love you, Ivy..." he said into her ear.
She stirred. "I love you too..." she murmured back.
He smiled slightly and left the room.
Matthew walked slowly back to Jonathan and Thayets rooms. A shocking realization gripped him as he did so; he didn't want Gavin to die. Death wasn't a punishment, it was just getting rid of them. Punishment would force him to see what he had done, and... see the woman he loved with someone else. Matthew told himself that he wasn't trying to use Ivy as a way of getting back at Gavin, that he only wanted to be with her because he loved her... but he knew that deep down, beneath the love that he felt for Ivy, there was a deep need for revenge... at least Gavin would feel what Matthew had been forced to endure for the last one and a half years...
Raoul stared venomously at Gavin, whilst talking to Jonathan. "Death? You want him to be free from everything and get away with it? What punishment is that? He should be forced to live with what he's done, not get out of it so easily!"
Jonathan answered calmly. "We'll leave his punishment after life up to the Gods, it's my duty to rid this Realm of men who will hurt other women as Gavin has done to Ivy. Rapists are not going to roam my Realm, Raoul. I refuse to allow it."
"So don't let him roam the Realm." Raoul snapped." Stick him in prison and do what he's done to Matthew, force him to look at the woman he loves as she tells another man she loves him."
Jonathan looked at Raoul calmly. "I don't think Gavin is in love with your daughter Raoul..."
"Jonathan, you only have to look at him! He's messed up his stupid little plan and fallen in love with his victim!"
At that moment Matthew entered again. "She's sleeping in her room." Matthew said, in answer to the questioning look Raoul gave her.
Raoul nodded and looked back at Jonathan. "So? Why does he have to die? Can't he live with it? If he can't then tough, I'd love to see him suffer! Dirty, perverted bastard!"
Jonathan shook his head. "I'm sorry Raoul. It can't be left to chance that he can escape. I don't want to have a hundred peasants trying to break down the Palace doors because I let a rapist live when he should have died."
Raoul shook with fury. "Why can't you bind him the way he had Rageo bind Matthew?"
Jonathan sighed. "Is Matthew here with us, Raoul?"
"What? What do you mean is he here with us? Of course he's here, he's right..."
Jonathan nodded. "Exactly. Matthew escaped magical binds. I have no doubt that given enough time Gavin would be able to as well."
Raoul shook his head. "That's different. Rageo wasn't a mage, he was only borrowing someone elses Gift. You and Numair could bind him and keep him there!"
Jonathan shook his head. "My decision is final." He looked out of the window. "Tomorrow at sunrise..." he looked at Gavin and shook his head again. "I'm sorry I failed you as a Knight Master. It would appear I didn't teach you enough good manners and courtesy... or to obey orders and not jeapordise others trust in you..." He looked at Matthew. "Is there anything you'd like to say?"
Matthew nodded. "But I'd like to say it alone, if that's alright."
Jonathan hesitated, then nodded to the rest of Ivy's family, motioning for them to leave the room with him. He closed the door and left Matthew and Gavin alone.
Matthew stared at Gavin in silence, for several minutes, until Gavin spoke. "If you're going to say something, just say it and get it over with!"
Matthew sighed. "You love her." he said plainly. "You love the woman I'm supposed to marry."
Gavin rolled his eyes. "It's called acting! I have no feelings whatsoever for her..."
Matthew managed a small chuckle. "I'm not stupid. If you didn't love her, you'd have fought us all of the time she was here, trying to get away from us. But you didn't... you could hardly even look at her without something showing in your eyes. Maybe Raoul and I were the only people who realized it, but maybe thats just that we were the ones watching your every move and making sure you didn't try to hurt her anymore."
Gavin sighed. "Alright Tirragen. You got me! I love Ivy! After a couple of months she grew on me... what did you expect? I've been sleeping with her for a year and a half, surely you didn't expect me to be able to avoid getting any feelings for her in that time? I was either going to end up hating her or loving her! It's not my fault the one thing I didn't want to happen did happen!"
Matthew shook his head. "Why couldn't you just be a man and face me, like any normal man would have? Why did you have to make her suffer? What had she ever done to you, except be with me?"
Gavin laughed. "That's exactly it! She was with you. And you were totally and utterly devoted to her! I could have fought you, but we both know I'd have probably lost, and I knew I could cause you more pain through her than through any number of gashes I put on your legs. I mean look at you. You're covered in blood and gashes and all you can think about is protecting your precious Ivy... she means more to you than anything else in the world, she's the only thing that you care about. And everyone knows that there's no better way to hurt anyone than hurt their loved ones."
Matthew looked at him carefully. "What would you do... if I hurt Ivy?"
Gavin shot him a glance. "You wouldn't..." he said quietly.
"What would you do... if I hit her...?"
Gavin stared. "I'd.. I'd..." he met Matthew's eyes. "I'd kill you..."
Matthew nodded and gripped Gavins chin in an iron hold. "Exactly. Now think what you'd do if I raped her, lied to her, faked your death so I could get close to her, and whatever else you've done."
Gavin said nothing. Matthew tightened his hold on Gavins chin. "Done thinking?" He raised an eyebrow. "No?" He kicked Gavins stomach hard. Blood sprayed from Gavins mouth as he was thrown against the wall. "Let me help you out..." Matthew clenched his fists and let fire encase them. "Have you ever felt so angry, that you can't control anything inside you, and the only thing that you want to do is beat whoever's made you angry to death?" Matthew swung his fist into Gavins face, leaving another blistering patch of skin on the side of Gavins face. "Well if you haven't..." he flipped backwards, catching Gavin in the mouth with his foot. "This is what a really pissed off guy looks like when you've been screwing his fiancee around..."
Matthew looked at Gavin as he lay unconscious on the floor. He couldn't help but feel guilty... Ivy would hate him... how could he have done that...? He'd known she had feelings for him, even if he didn't know how deep...
He stood up and walked over to the door, shutting it quietly behind him. Raoul, Jonathan and Numair stood in front of him with their arms crossed.
"What was that about Matthew?" Jonathan asked calmly... too calmly.
"Just... sorting some things out... clarifying something..." Matthew muttered.
Numair moved towards the door, but Matthew stepped in the way.
"Erm... you don't want to be going in there..." Matthew said casually.
"Oh really?" Numair asked. "And why would that be?"
Matthew shrugged. "Well... Gavin's not in the best of states... he's a bit... messy..."
Numair raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"Well... well... he's a bit... messed up... in the head... you know... emotionally challenged..."
"Move out of the way Matthew." Jonathan said calmly.
"Seriously... he's a mess... I think he wants to be alone for a while..." Matthew was pushed gently, but firmly to the side by Raoul, and Numair led them into the room.
"Mithros... Matthew... what happened?"
Matthew looked at Raoul, then Numair and Jonathan. "I..." he paused. "I got mad, ok? Come on! I mean, after everything he's done to Ivy, you don't expect me to settle for him being killed? I want him to suffer for what he's done to her! It's not like I killed him... but if he's going to die he should suffer while he waits!"
Jonathan looked at Matthew. "I know this is hard Matthew, but that doesn't give you the right to beat Gavin up. He's got one day left Matthew, I want you to leave him alone! Whilst he's a prisoner he is under the protection of the Palace. I cannot allow you to beat him up like you have done!"
Matthew took in a deep breath. "Fine... I'll leave him alone... but I don't agree with it..."
"I wouldn't expect you to Matthew."
Matthew was sat next to Ivy on the bed, his hand stroking her hair absently as she slept. He stopped as she stirred, moving his hand slowly away. Ivy turned over and looked at him, smiling slightly.
"Hey..." she murmured.
"Hello..." Matthew said quietly, sliding down so that he lay next to her, his face level with hers. "How you feeling?"
Ivy shrugged. "Ok I suppose..."
Matthew reached out and stroked her chin, then kissed her gently. As she began to kiss him back, he pulled gently away. "Ivy... I need to ask you something..."
Ivy frowned. "What?"
He looked down. "It's about Gavin..."
"What? I thought we'd been through this! I don't love him! I love you! Please can we just not..."
"No, it's not that... it's just..." Matthew looked down. "I need to know something..." he kissed her forehead. "Nothing you say will change how I feel about you alright? So if you want to... just tell me..." He breathed in deeply, then met her eyes. "His execution... or whatever you want to call it... do you... want to go?"
He looked down as he felt the grip on his hand loosen. "I... I hadn't thought about it..."
Matthew shook his head. "Look... it doesn't matter... just get some sleep, you can think about it later..." he kissed her forehead and went to get up, but Ivy's hand gripped hers tight.
"Matthew...?" she asked gently.
"What is it, sweetie?"
Ivy looked down, then met his eyes again. "I want to go... but..."
Matthew bit his lip, "but what?" he asked with a calmness he wished he felt.
"I want you to come with me... I just... I want him to see we're stronger than he thinks..."
Matthew looked at her, then sat down next to her. "Of course I'll go... but... Ivy... there's something you should know..."
Ivy looked up at him. "What is it?"
"He... Ivy... Gavin's in love with you..." Tears formed in Matthews eyes. "Ivy... if you love him... just tell me... please... I need to know..."
Ivy shook her head. "He... he can't love me..."
"Ivy... he does... just... please... I have to know how you feel..."
"Matthew... you know I don't love him... I love you... I could only ever love you this way..." she knelt up on her knees and kissed his lips tenderly. "Please believe me..?"
Matthew nodded. "I do..." he murmured. He wrapped his arms around her and began to cover her face and neck with kisses, ravaging on the skin that for so long had been untouchable. Matthews hand slid up Ivy's shirt, massaging her back gently.
"Gods... I've missed you... so much..." he undid the buttons of her shirt with gentle ease, kissing her collarbone, gently running his lips over her soft skin.
"I know... I missed you too..."
"I love you..." Matthew murmured. "You'll never know how much..."
"I do... I know... I love you..."
Ivy's hands moved to undo Matthew's shirt, just as there was a knock at the door. Matthew pulled away reluctantly, and kissed Ivy's forehead. "Why are we always interrupted?" he asked quietly. Ivy gave him a weak smile, then pulled on her shirt, nodding towards the door. Matthew sighed and got up, opening the door.
Raoul gave Matthew a small smile as he opened the door. "Sorry." He said. "Buri and I never got to congratulate Ivy on her Ordeal... can we come in?"
"Err... sure." He stepped to the side and allowed Ivy's parents in. When the door was closed, Matthew sat beside Ivy on the bed, his arm around her waist.
"So... it looks like we need to buy you some new armour..."
Ivy fell asleep again after Raoul and Buri had left, whilst Matthew went to find Jonathan.
"We're postponing the ceremony of Ivy's knighthood... I think she needs some time... and I don't think she wants to have two such contrasting things happen in one evening..."
Matthew nodded. "Yeah... that makes sense..."
Jonathan looked at him carefully. "Matthew... you don't have to go... niether does Ivy... I don't want you to feel you have to go..."
"I don't..." Matthew insisted. "She wants to go... and I want to be there with her... she wants me there..."
Jonathan nodded slowly. "Ok... then we go to Traitors Hill at sunrise in the morning..." He put a hand on Matthews shoulder. "Make sure you both get some sleep... it won't be pretty."
Matthew nodded. "Yeah... I know."
The sun was just rising. Traitors hill was a mere black spec in the distance as they made there way towards it. Ivy was quiet in Thunders saddle, gripping his reins until her knuckles turned white. Matthew tried not to look at her. He kept wondering about earlier. If they hadn't been interrupted, if they'd made love again, would she still look so sick? Yes, he thought, she's just found out he's a lying bastard, of course she's going to feel sick!
"Ivy..." Matthew said, edging closer to her. "Relax, alright..." he reached over and gripped her hand. "I'm here alright... and I know that's not a big deal but..."
"It is..." Ivy insisted. "After everything... it is a big deal you're here with me..."
Matthew nodded. "Ok..." he looked around then edged back in his saddle. "Come here..."
Ivy smiled ever so slightly, then slipped into his saddle, settling back to rest against his chest. Matthew took Thunders reins and held them in his left hand while his other held the reins.
"I'm here ok... you need anything and I'm here... I love you..."
Ivy nodded and looked round. "I know... I love you too..." she kissed his lips gently, running her tongue ever so lightly over his lips. Matthew was about to kiss back when she pulled away and rested her head on his chest. Matthew sighed, and kicked his horse into a trot to catch up with the others.
Matthew held Ivy in his arms as several men of the kings own tied Gavin to a pole on top of a pile of wood. He could feel Ivy's body shaking as she cried onto his shoulder. All he could do was hold her and rub her back...
Jonathan began to read out the sentence. In Matthews opinion, it was a complete waste of time. Everyone there knew what Gavin had done and why he was there... nobody needed to hear it... especially not Ivy. He rubbed her back gently, kissing her hair and trying to take her mind off what was being said. He wanted her to know what he'd done, and get rid of any feelings she might have for him, but not like this...
"Hey..." he whispered. "Hey... come on... it's fine ok... I'm here..." he rocked her gently back and forth. "I'm here alright... I'm here... just breathe..." he stopped when he saw a man lifting a torch and walking towards the pile of wood that Gavin was tied to. Ivy looked round just as the torch met with the wood. Fire licked instantly towards Gavin, and his cry of pain split the air. Matthew felt Ivy shake uncontrollably as she fought to control her tears, and found himself letting go of her and absorbing the fire into his hands. Ivy looked at him, just as everyone else did.
"Say goodbye..." Matthew said, avoiding her eyes. Ivy stared at him. "Ivy... just say goodbye..." She hesitated, then ran over to the pile of wood, pausing at the top of the pile before putting her arms around Gavin and kissing his lips gently. He kissed her back with warmth. She pulled away, tears streaming down her face.
"Ivy..." Gavin whispered, his eyes half closed. "I love you..." He leant forward to catch her lips again, sucking her lower lip gently. "I'm sorry... I love you... I'm sorry for everything..."
Ivy sobbed and kissed his lips gently. "Bastard!" she whispered, then turned and ran back to Matthew.
Matthew watched her kissing Gavin. He could feel everyone else's eyes on him, wondering what in the dark Gods realm he was thinking... Matthew was wondering the exact same thing. As Ivy ran back towards him, Matthew nodded to the man who held the torch. With confusion showing plainly on his face, the man relit the wood. Ivy was in Matthews arms suddenly, gripping his back hard.
"Thank you..." she whispered into his shirt.
Matthew held her close, burying his face in her hair. "It's fine... I couldn't live with myself if you didn't get to say goodbye..." he kissed her forehead.
"I love you." Ivy whispered.
Matthew nodded. "I love you too..." he pressed his lips to hers, taking her mind away from the cries of pain coming from Gavin's direction.
I have no idea if they would burn people or not, it just fitted with the story I guess... its kind of hard to stop a sword fight, say goodbye, then carry on... but anyway, I would love to hear what you think... reviews please?
Mage of the Heart
