Astra should have been more excited. Outwardly, she was, as everyone expected her to be. They'd won, after all! They'd completed their first mission, and nobody had even gotten hurt!
You know, except for the fact that Luna could have died if Lily hadn't unlocked her Semblance in time to save her.
And what if she hadn't? She asked herself inwardly. What then?
She'd been totally helpless. Her girlfriend could have died, and she wouldn't have been able to do anything to help.
You should have, she scolded herself. You should have done something.
She was happy for Lily. Really, she was. It was amazing that she'd been able to do what she'd worked her whole life for, especially when it was such a cool power. And it was good to see her happy, skipping along and growing flowers on just about every bush she passed as the group made their way back to the village. All the same, Astra cursed herself for not doing more. She hadn't been able to track the Grimm like Luna and Cobalt had, she hadn't done anything amazing like Lily. She hadn't even been able to take down one of the Beowolves on her own. Luna had needed to finish it off for her.
Still, she kept a smile on her face and a bounce in her step as she walked. They'd completed the mission. That was what really mattered.
"Hey," Beside Astra, Luna nudged her softly. "What's wrong?"
Astra forced her smile to be wider. "Nothing! Why would you think something was wrong?"
Despite the concerned look on her face, Luna lifted an eyebrow. "You can't trick my Semblance, Astra. You're upset."
Shit. Astra had forgotten about that. There was no point in pretending to be fine around someone who could literally read emotions. "Don't worry about it," She insisted, her voice low to avoid being heard by the others. "It's nothing."
"We've just completed our first-ever huntsman mission and you're feeling bad," Luna pointed out. "That's not nothing."
Astra sighed. Luna was too smart for her. She looked away. "It's just that…I didn't really do anything." She admitted. "Everyone had a part to play in this mission but me. I was useless."
"Hey," Luna tucked her arm around Astra's and pulled her closer as they walked. "That's not true at all. You took on an Alpha Beowolf completely on your own," She reminded her. "You did great."
Astra frowned. "But you had to deal the final blow."
"Only because there was no point letting the fight drag out longer," Luna insisted. "I know you could have handled it. You're an incredible fighter. Remember how you beat up Birch?"
Astra couldn't help but smile even as she protested. "Yeah, but he's pathetic and dumb." It had been fun though. She'd admit to that much. "Even literally thoughtless Grimm are more of a challenge."
Luna chuckled. "Okay, fair," She pulled herself even closer and leaned slightly against Astra's shoulder. "You're still amazing though. Don't forget that."
Astra didn't reply, not wanting to fight her on it. Luna was sweet enough that she'd have something nice to say even if it wasn't true. She knew that she'd probably still be picking up on her low feelings, but she thankfully didn't push it. She simply remained close to Astra. That, at least, comforted her a little.
Luna remained at her side all the way until they reached the town, after which she squeezed her hand and left to join Nora in telling the mayor that the job had been completed. Astra waited outside with Cobalt and Lily for their transport to arrive and pick them up.
Lily was crouched close to the dirt paths like a curious kid, and every time she found a stray seed, she'd grow a tiny shoot from it. Sometimes it was a flower, or wheat, or an unknown leafy plant. Admittedly, Astra found it endearing to watch. She'd never seen Lily this…joyful before. Her energy was almost as high as Astra's usually was, even right after finishing a tough battle.
By the time Luna and Nora came back out of the mayor's office, the edge of the path was filled with various plants for up to several feet.
"Wow," Nora chuckled, taking care not to step on any. "Someone's been busy."
"It's really interesting to see all the different kinds of seeds that get dropped along here," Lily responded, studying what looked like the start of a shrub. "I think I even found some potato plants."
"Well, if it's potatoes you want, maybe you can buy some now," Luna commented.
The other three looked up at her quizzically. Luna grinned and flashed up a handful of lien. "Can you believe it?" She asked, her eyes glowing. "Out first payment as huntsman!"
"You're lucky, too," Nora added. "Most places don't pay students for it." She chuckled slightly. "I think he felt bad for not realizing they were Alphas."
As Luna divided up the payment, Astra tried to force herself to feel better. She wasn't being fair to anyone by moping around like this, even if only Luna could tell. And hey, money was always good. She already had an idea of what to spend her share on.
Lily grew a few more plants before the whirring of blades announced the Bullhead as it flew in from beyond the trees and landed where it had dropped the group off the day before. Astra followed the group to board it and sat by the window. As the aircraft took off again, Lily's plants blurred into tiny specks.
Astra gazed down at the trees as they flew over the forest where they'd just been. It seemed so much smaller now than when she'd been down there on foot. Had even the work they'd done to search for the Grimm not been that much?
"Hey, kid,"
Astra almost jumped as Nora came over and sat beside her. The small rush of excitement was almost enough to push away her disappointment in herself. Almost.
"You did good out there." Nora told her.
Astra stared at tried not to squeal at the praise from her biggest inspiration. "Oh, thank- wait," She cast a suspicious glance over at Luna, who looked away the moment she did. "Are you just saying that because Luna told you to?"
Nora looked awkward. "Whaaaattt, nooo…" She sighed. "Okay, yes." She offered Astra a smile. "But hey, I still mean it. You've got a strong fighting style. And I'm not just saying that because of who it was clearly inspired by."
The words should have comforted Astra, given that it was Nora Valkyrie saying them, but she still felt defeated. "Thanks," She replied, pulling her knees up to her chin. "But you don't have to be so nice. I still didn't really….do anything."
"Well, that's just ridiculous," Nora replied bluntly. Astra stared at her.
"You did plenty," Nora elaborated. "When everyone else was feeling tired, you kept spirits up, and when we found the Grimm, you were ready and willing to head into battle the moment your leader gave the word."
Astra hadn't considered that. "I guess." That was just…normal stuff, wasn't it? Any reasonable team member would do the same.
"Think of it this way," Nora pointed out. "How do you think your team would have managed if you hadn't been there. Do you think Cobalt and Luna could have handled all three Alphas by themselves while Lily was guarding me?"
Astra blinked in surprise. It was a good point. "Yeah...probably not."
Nora nudged her gently. "So, they did need you then. You did exactly what they needed you to do."
Astra smiled slightly. "I guess I did." Maybe she hadn't done anything significant, but she'd added extra muscle. Maybe she'd get a chance to do something bigger on the next mission.
"Thank you." She told Nora.
Nora shrugged. "Hey, don't thank me. I'm just speaking the truth," She looked over at Luna. "She's the one you should be thanking. You're pretty lucky to have her."
Astra smiled softly over at her girlfriend. "Yeah, I know."
"You've definitely got to be pretty cool if you've met her standards," Nora chuckled. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone get so close to her."
Astra glanced at her quizzically. "Standards?"
"I don't know if you've noticed, but Luna doesn't exactly like being around people." Nora pointed out.
Astra shrugged. "Well, yeah, but she's close with the whole team. It's not just me."
"True, I am surprised by how well she gets along with the other two," Nora admitted, glancing over to where Luna was talking with Lily and Cobalt. "But it's different with you." At Astra's confused look, she explained. "See, Luna has pretty strict personal boundaries. She doesn't like people getting too close to her unless it's for comfort or encouragement, sometimes not even then. But just in this past day, I've barely seen her leave your side. She chooses to be physically close to you." She gave Astra a serious look. "I haven't seen her so cuddly and affectionate around anyone. Not even the girlfriend she had in combat school."
Astra stared at her, awed, her heart full of warmth. "I…didn't even know," She admitted. "It just seemed so normal."
Nora chuckled warmly. "I guess that just proves how much she cares about you then."
Astra looked back down at the passing landscape thoughtfully. Something nagged at her mind, and she couldn't help but ask, though she doubted Nora would have an answer. "But…why me though? Wouldn't she be happier with someone more like her, instead of someone who's always so much louder and more energetic?"
Nora was quiet for a moment, looking ahead thoughtfully, before she answered, "No, I wouldn't think so. Even the gentlest flowers can sometimes use a good storm to help them grow." She smiled softly, her eyes distant. "Ren told me something back when we were still figuring out or relationship. He told me that when he was alone with me, he could forget he was an introvert. I made him feel more confident, like he could take on anything so long as I was by his side." She looked back at Astra. "I see a lot of us in you two. You must be very special to her."
"Wow…" Astra's whole chest felt warm and she could feel a slight blush on her cheeks. To have her new relationship be compared with that of one that had lasted over twenty years…it was certainly something. "That's actually really comforting."
Nora grinned. "Glad I could help, kid."
Astra glanced back over at the rest of her team. "You should go and tell them how well they did too," She said. "I think they'd appreciate it."
"Of course," Nora stood up. "You're a good teammate Astra. Don't let yourself believe anything else."
As Nora went over to praise the other three, Astra looked back out of the window and let her feelings of inadequacy slip away. Despite anything else, if Luna really cared about her that much, that was all Astra ever needed to hear. If she was special to Luna, that was enough.
After a while, Beacon came into view and Astra found herself looking forward to getting back, having a bath, and slipping into her favourite pyjamas. They'd get the rest of the day off, and Astra fully intended to spend it watching cartoons and eating junk food.
The moment the bullhead landed at the docks, Nora was out of the vehicle before anyone else, looking around urgently. It took Astra a moment to remember why. As the team joined her, Astra heard Luna remind Nora softly,
"He might not be back yet."
Nora calmed. "Oh, right." Her disappointment was clear, and Astra felt sorry for her. She couldn't imagine how desperate Nora must be to see her husband again, and to tell him the news.
"Hey, guys!"
A call caught the group's attention, and Astra turned to see Storm walking towards them with a wave, followed by Ren and Yarrow. Astra smiled. So, they'd gotten back at the same time, then.
Before anyone else could give a greeting, Nora rushed forward with all of the excitement that she was so known for, throwing herself at Ren with a squeal and spinning him around.
"Woah," Ren chuckled as Nora put him down again. "You really missed me that much?"
"Of course I did," Nora gave him a kiss, leaning her forehead against his affectionately. "I need to tell you something when we get home, but you need to promise not to get mad, okay?"
Ren looked playfully suspicious. "What did you do?" Astra wondered how often Nora had asked him that after doing something dumb.
Nora chuckled. "Nothing. It's not bad, I promise."
Their affection caught on to Astra. As Cobalt and Yarrow greeted Cobalt, she turned to Luna and wrapped her in a tight hug, hoping Luna could sense the care for her that she was feeling that she couldn't quite put into words. Not yet, anyway.
Luna looked pleasantly surprised as she hugged her back. "What's this for?"
"Everything," Astra sighed softly. "Just everything."
