A/N: Right...so, I meant to post this a LONG time ago, but college (and especially my college) is evil, and I'm mildly retarded for taking both a British Lit & Ethics class during the (six week) Summer semester. On the upside, I was finally able to read Praise of Folly by Erasmas, which I always wanted to do but never had an excuse...and wow, that sounded really sad. I'm a nerd, what can I say. : ). Anyway, this is my first IY fanfic (yay me!), and I am using a few Japanese terms. I have decided to provide readers with the glossary of terms beforehand; let me know if this is more helpful than an end glossary. If not, I will happily oblige my readers' wishes.


Words to Know:

Goshinboku--the sacred tree at Kagome's family shine, and the tree to which Kikyou nailed Inuyasha's ass for a 50 year "nap"

Sengoku Jidai--the Warring States Era

inu--dog

hanyou--half-demon

youkai--demon; not technically the true translation, which is acutally something like a creature of the occult, but for my purposes, it's the equivalent to "demon"

taijiya--exterminator

houshi--priest

miko--priestess


I believe this is everything; if not, send me a scathing email immediately and I will correct myself. Maybe. Perhaps. If I feel like it. (I'm kidding--I'll definitely correct myself)
Disclaimer: (snorts) Yeah, in my dreams...
Chapter One: Down The Rabbit Hole Once More

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I wake up,

Thoughts of you

Tattooed to my mind

As I wonder,

What to wear,

What to eat,

Who to be,

Will I see you again?

"If You Only Knew"/ Maroon 5

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She was being stupid again.

Kagome sighed as she eyed the well-house roof from under Goshinboku. Would this need to go back ever stop? Ten years after she'd been sucked back from Sengoku Jidai—quite rudely, she remembered sourly—and she was still trying to get back. The Bone-Eater's Well was having none of this, naturally; as far as it and Fate were concerned, she had performed her duty to the letter, and there was no need of her venturing back into a place where she was no longer required. She'd tried for days and days at first, doing nothing but collecting splinters, several rather remarkable bruises and finally a very painful broken leg. Her mother had then firmly put her foot down and said Kagome wasn't going to be trying to leap into the well anymore.

"It's over, Kagome," her mother had added, affection and concern softening otherwise cruel words.

Kagome had ignored the pronouncement and as soon as her leg had healed, she was back at the well, leaping down it again and again, hoping against hope that the magic would once more come to life and take her back through the ages. She had been as stubbornly obstinate as Inuyasha when he was facing an enemy that the Tessaiga had no effect over, working on the assumption that if he kept slashing at his foe, sooner or later, Tessaiga would get the idea and do what it did. It was akin to banging the side of a particularly temperamental television or tapping a tooth-grindingly slow computer's screen—if you made your presence and wishes known for long enough, your wishes would be granted in due time. "The Water Dripping on Rock and Eventually Eroding Said Rock to Suit Said Water's Whims" theory, however, hadn't worked for Kagome. And it hadn't been working for ten years.

She leaned back against the tree. With the passing of time, she hadn't tried as frequently as in the beginning, when the panic at not being able to go to Sengoku Jidai—or more precisely, to Inuyasha—had been especially fresh and choking. As the months had passed, somewhere in the recesses of her mind, she had begun to realize that there was no going back. Certainly, she had tried to ignore the irritatingly calm reasoning of her mind, had refused to listen when logic had tried to assert itself. And for a long while, she had succeeded very well, making monthly attempts to go back. But…and there was always a "but"…Kagome had stopped trying every single month in lieu of every other month, and then every two months and then every four months…until she had stopped trying altogether. But the well was never far from her thoughts, and she spent many an afternoon under Goshinboku, staring at the well-house roof and hoping, wishing, for the well to let her travel through time to her friends. But it was always as cold and dark as it had been since it had spat her out into her own time, and any jump she attempted—which was rare indeed these days—usually rewarded her with a very good sized lump on the head or exceedingly impressive bruise somewhere on her body.

It was ridiculous, she guessed, for someone as old as she was to be so stupidly childish. All her friends were married and most of them had children. Two had become stay-at-home mothers; the rest were either part-time workers or dealt with their responsibilities as mothers and professionals rather like a juggler, trying to keep all the balls in the air, safely off the ground. She, on the other hand, was still living in her mother's house. Her one concession to adulthood had been acquiring a job at the University of Tokyo's vast research library, where she could flip through dusty tomes of ancient Japanese myths and legends to her heart's content, searching for even the barest mention of an inu-hanyou, or a youkai taijiya or a lecherous houshi—even a tragic miko somewhere in the vicinity of Edo. She hadn't found much; a few obscure legends here and there involving youkai of all species and description, a mention or two of hanyou, and miko galore to offer guidance and wisdom…but nothing of Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, or even, Gods help her, Kikyou…not a single word. It was almost as if the universe had conspired to completely and irrevocably separate her from them, even five hundred years later.

Kagome straightened from the tree and wandered around the courtyard, her meandering eventually ending at the well-house door. She ran a hand over the old wood, heart squeezing.

"What I wouldn't give to go back," she murmured, "if only for a minute."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew them to be a bald-faced lie; she didn't think a thousand minutes would ever be enough.

She opened the door slightly and peaked in. There were the stairs…and there at the bottom, just as silent and mocking as ever, the well sat in the darkness. Kagome shut the door and turned and walked back to house, ignoring the little voice urging her to go back and try one more jump—if she didn't leave now, she would be late again and her supervisor was going to have a fit.

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For the next week, Kagome managed to ignore the little voice in her head that grew increasingly more insistent in its demand that she try one more jump—to the point that the voice now made it impossible to sleep.

One more jump, the voice said reasonably.

"No," she returned, cranky and tired as she lay in her bed, pillow over her head. This just made it easier to listen to the voice, unfortunately, as the pillow blocked out all other distractions.

Just one more, the voice said.

"No!" Kagome snapped.

Just one! the voice snapped back. What are you so afraid of?

"A broken neck," Kagome muttered irritably.

Is that all!

Kagome sighed in frustration and squeezed her eyes shut:

"Listen here, I'm only saying this once—I am not jumping down the Bone-Eater's Well. I'm never jumping down the Bone-Eater's Well again. And now, I'm going to sleep, so shut up!"

She waited. Not a sound. Sighing in relief, Kagome flopped over onto her stomach, shut her eyes and sighed heavily.

One more jump won't hurt any, you know.

"Aaaa!" Kagome screamed as her temper exploded, and she whipped the sheets off her body and sat up. "Shut up shut up shut up!" she yelled, using the palm of one hand to whack the side of her head.

"Kagome?" Higurashi-san called. "What is going on in there? Who are you talking to?"

"No one Mama!" Kagome called back, flushing in embarrassment. "I was just having a dream!"

She heard her mother sigh, then the squeak of floorboards as she walked back to her room. Kagome swung her legs out of bed and rubbed her left temple, feeling the faint beginnings of a very promising headache.

You know—

"Shut up or I'll…." Kagome paused, not sure how to threaten an annoying voice residing in her head. Certainly, she couldn't promise physical retribution—that would mean injuring herself in the process.

Or you'll what? the voice asked, smug.

"I'll do something," she muttered bad temperedly.

Right. Sure you will.

Kagome sighed and got up. She walked to her door, opened it, stepped out into the hallway and quietly shut the door.

Hey, what are you doing? the voice asked.

"Something," Kagome returned sharply, striding with purpose to the kitchen.

Involving the well?

"No—involving a midnight snack."

You'll gain weight, the voice said immediately, sounding horrified. And after you worked so hard to lose it!

"Oh well," Kagome said airily, opening the pantry doors wide.

Is this how you're going to punish me? By having me worry over calories? the voice sobbed.

"No, I'm hungry. Punishing an annoying, know-it-all voice in my head is a bonus." Kagome replied, ripping open a bag of potato chips, grabbing a handful and shoving them into her mouth.

Aack! What are you doing! Stop it! That'll go right to your thighs!

A wonderful thing happened as Kagome was eating the potato chips: she realized the sound of her teeth crunching the chips into pieces suitable for swallowing drowned out the voice. So she set the bag down on the counter, leaned against it and contentedly crunched away, ignoring the voice as it wailed on and on about fat content. The feminine mind had some rather strange fixations, she idly noted as she swallowed, finding that the voice was no longer speaking.

"Probably curled up in the fetal position in some dark corner of my mind," Kagome said, going to the refrigerator and grabbing a can of soda. She pulled the tab, enjoyed the rush of air that came out of the can, and took a generous swig. In all truth, she would have preferred a bottle of liquor, but she was all out, and she had to wait for her mother to go out on an errand before she could bring in the new bottle she had stashed in the trunk of her car. Probably, it wasn't the best place for liquor to sit, but Kagome knew there was no way in hell she was going to risk her mother seeing her coming into the house with a very large bottle of some very cheap whiskey in one hand. That, was just not happening.

Roughly five hours and a six-pack and a half of soda later, Kagome was still awake, and the sky was lightening from the deep blue of nighttime to the faint gray of pre-dawn. She had eaten the entire bag of potato chips, sitting on the counter and watching the dark world outside her window. She felt tired, and knowing that she had to be at the library earlier than usual for a staff meeting just made it all the worse. She was so not ready to face the world and pretend to be pleasant and interested.

Sighing, she lightly jumped off the counter top and picked up the cans and empty bag, throwing them in the garbage. Then, on a whim, she went outside to watch the sun rise, not bothering to put on shoes of some kind.

The air was pleasantly sharp with chill, and she stood in front of the door of her house, hugging herself in a vain attempt to keep warm, and watched the gray light recede, to be replaced with a white, ethereal glow before the watery, lemon-tinted light of the sun began to appear. That strange white glow made Kagome think she could see ghost-like figures wandering through her courtyard. She let her eyes wander lovingly over the weathered stone and buildings, feeling comforted with their presence, imagined or real.

It was only natural that her eyes would go to the well-house roof, and Kagome watched it sadly. On impulse, she walked towards it, wanting to open the door and let the rising sun spill in and lighten the gloom. Rationally, the desire made no sense; the well was an inanimate object, not at all concerned or aware of whether the sun was rising or setting. But Kagome recognized what was behind the impulse—that terrible little kernel of hope that had lodged itself in her heart and refused to let go: Inuyasha might have found a way to go through the well, and he might be there right now, clambering out of the gaping hole, cursing about the trouble she was and how much he despised having to keep dragging her back to Sengoku Jidai.

But of course, he wasn't there. When she slid the door open, the well-house was empty, still as the dead, and Kagome sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose and laughed ruefully.

"I must love torturing myself," she murmured, looking up and into the well-house. The sun was rising rapidly now, and the light was steadily creeping in, chasing away the shadows.

"Well, at least—" Kagome stopped abruptly, her eyes catching a flicker at the well. She stood there, frozen, wondering if she'd imagined it. She watched the well, but saw nothing.

Did I imagine it? she thought to herself. Oh man, I really need to get a grip. I need to start sleeping. I need to learn to block out that annoying voice. I need…a psychiatrist, that's what. Who the hell admits she can't sleep because of voices in her head?

She thought she saw another flicker, and she stared at the well, uncertain as to what the situation called for—should she investigate it or simply ignore it?

Kagome decided that investigation, while probably not the brightest idea she'd had within the last ten years, was the only option available to her—ignoring the well just wasn't going to happen, PERIOD.

She cautiously made her way down the old wood stairs and approached the well carefully, as if afraid it might suddenly open eyes she had never known existed and yell "What are you doing!" at her. The utter ridiculousness of the thought helped calm her jangling nerves. She reached the well, and peered over the wooden lip, back far enough from it that she wouldn't fall in but could still see. Nothing. She sighed, blaming her over-active imagination this morning on her lack of sleep and overdose of sugary soda, and then her eyes caught a faint shimmer from the depths of the well before it disappeared, like a snake gliding through water.

"No," she said in quiet disbelief after a moment of pregnant silence. "This is impossible."

A sudden wind from outside slammed the door shut and Kagome let out a shout and jumped, startled. She whacked her knee against the lip of the well and fell over and into it, cursing in pain and astonishment. And then, to complete her morning, a little voice from somewhere in the back of her mind said, very smugly,

Told you so.

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In the courtyard, the wind gently stirred the leaves and debris, sounding like some kind of queer sigh of satisfaction before dying down altogether.