A/N: You know what I just now noticed? The last three chapters (I'm counting this one) have been given names from either songs or albums. Weird. Right then…so this is a depressing chapter as well, because I've apparently lost my happy place somewhere and haven't been able to find it. These things happen in life. Anyway, enjoy.

P.S.: I'd like to say a very special thanks to Sassy for your review; I'm uber-happy you're enjoying this, and am very excited to hear what you (and everyone else who's following along) think, so please keep your thoughts/comments/etc coming, it helps me know if I'm on the right track or not. I'd have replied directly, but sadly, that option was not open to me, so I thank you here.


Disclaimer: see Chpts One thru Nine
Words To Know:

kusarigama: Kohaku's sickle-chain thingamabob (you know the one, trust me….)

daimyo: a feudal era warlord

nee-chan: older sister, casual form

konbanwa: good evening—used only in greeting, not as another way of saying good-bye/good-night

-kun: higher than –chan but lower than –san and –sama; used mostly for young men

-chan: the most casual of the honorifics, used primarily for children or those to whom one is very close to denote affection

jii-chan: grandpa (might have already "defined" this one, but just in case….)

tsusu: crane

sensei: I went over this one a while back, but it requires a notation for this chapter: in Japan, "sensei" is tacked onto the names of writers, doctors, teachers and other professionals to denote mastery of their medium, whatever it may be

Ryuukossei: more of a note/reminder than anything; the dragon Inu no Taisho manages to seal away according to volumes 19-20 of Inuyasha, the manga/episodes 53-54 of Inuyasha, the anime


Chapter Fourteen: The Unforgiven

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What I've felt,

What I've known,

Sick and tired,

I stand alone,

Could you be there,

'Cause I'm the one who waits for you,

Or are you unforgiven too?

"The Unforgiven II"/ Metallica

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Kohaku had never again worn his taijiya outfit or wielded his kusarigama upon being released from Naraku's influence. He spent three years working through the self-loathing and guilt that consumed his soul as his fractured memory began returning and his foul deeds began showing up in his mind's eye, a process that had required help and encouragement from Sango and Miroku. In the end, they were feelings that were never truly laid to rest.

He took up farming, finding solace in the struggle with Nature to survive. And he struggled with Nature alone by choice; Miroku was no farmer, but he had offered his help all the same. Kohaku had politely refused his brother-in-law's help. This was something he wanted—needed—to do alone, by himself. He needed to toil against the elements without assistance. Miroku understood the need and never said another word about it, even though it worried Sango that her brother spent so much of his time alone in the fields.

"It's nothing," Miroku told her. "Let him be. He's trying to heal."

So Kohaku worked from sunup to sundown, relishing his battle against Nature, taking comfort in his solitude, and vowing never to fail anyone the way he'd failed his father and sister.

Fate had other ideas.

Kohaku had forgotten about Rin. She, however, had not been so lax: almost immediately after he and Sango and Miroku set up housekeeping near a village, she began writing him long, cheerfully detailed letters about the goings-on in the Western Lands, and invited him several times to visit her. With Miroku's assistance, he improved his meager reading and writing skills and continued his correspondence with the strange young woman who seemed so eager to befriend him. His letters were matter-of-fact and even dull recitations of what he did on a day-to-day basis, but Rin never seemed to mind, and offered him much encouragement. She also continued to invite him to visit her, despite the fact that he never once acknowledged her many invitations.

Kohaku was dubious about accepting her offer, at best; he vaguely remembered that Rin's guardian was the cold-hearted taiyoukai Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha's elder half-brother. The young man had consulted the hanyou—a frequent guest to his sister's home—as to the feasibility of visiting Rin. At first, Inuyasha had advised against it.

"Lord Asshole'll probably lop your head off," the hanyou predicted.

Miroku had pursed his lips as Sango, pregnant with her first child, had paled.

"Not a very welcoming fellow," Miroku remarked innocently.

"He's a bastard," Inuyasha confirmed nonchalantly.

"Have you seen him recently?" Sango asked, frowning.

Inuyasha scowled and shrugged. "Fuckers like Sesshoumaru never change," he said. "He was born an asshole and he'll die that way."

All in all, not the most encouraging set-up in the world, and Kohaku had put visiting Rin from his mind. So, after a year, Rin had apparently decided that if he wasn't going to come to her, she was going to have to come to him. And come she did, with a tall, pale demon with cold eyes at her side. Thankfully, Inuyasha was nowhere in the vicinity, or a battle to the death would have been inevitable.

Kohaku had gone to visit Rin the next year, and in the time between the visits, they exchanged letters. Kohaku fell in love with Rin because she was the only person to look at him and not pity him. She treated him like a person, and the only way he knew of expressing his painful gratefulness for that gift was through loving her.

Just after Rin turned fourteen, Kohaku, with Miroku, went to Sesshoumaru's shiro in the west and asked for Rin's hand in marriage. The taiyoukai had two stipulations on accepting Kohaku's suit:

"What might these stipulations be, Sesshoumaru-sama?" Miroku asked, face tight with unease and worry.

"You will marry Rin within the year," Sesshoumaru said, gaze firmly on Kohaku. The younger man nodded slowly, stunned that the youkai lord had accepted his suit.

"And the other?" Miroku asked politely after a long pause.

Sesshoumaru's eyes went first to the houshi, then pinned down the taijiya-turned-farmer.

"You will protect her from harm."

"With my life, Sesshoumaru-sama," Kohaku murmured, bowing low to the youkai lord.

Famous last words.

They married a few months later at the shiro, and Inuyasha attended the ceremony at Sango and Kohaku's urging. The hanyou watched Rin oddly, as if there was something bothering him, but he congratulated Kohaku anyway.

Kohaku and Rin lived near Sango and Miroku, who were fast building a new taijiya village. Kohaku was content to wait a few years before bringing children into the world, mostly because he wanted to let Rin have a few more years of childhood, or something like it, before she began having children of her own. Sesshoumaru was a frequent visitor, which pleased Kohaku's cheerful wife to no end. The silent youkai also came after the birth of both their sons; three days after the second birth, Sesshoumaru had turned up with Inuyasha at his side, the two brothers throwing horrific barbs at each other. Kohaku had thought it was odd; Miroku had proclaimed it a miracle…after the forever squabbling siblings had gone, of course.

It was when his youngest boy was nearly a year old that his lord daimyo had called for all able-bodied men to take up arms, as he was keen on attacking and acquiring a neighboring daimyo's holdings. Kohaku had been reluctant to leave Rin and the children alone; his eldest son, just turned two, was sick with a fever that had been making the rounds, and the younger son was showing signs of illness as well.

"Don't worry," Rin had assured him the day he left, "we'll be all right. After all, Miroku-sama and Sango-nee-chan aren't so very far away, and Sesshoumaru-sama has a habit of dropping by unannounced."

"I suppose," Kohaku dubiously returned, eyeing his boys. His gaze returned to Rin, who stood before him grinning as happily as she ever had. "Take care, little one," he said with a fond smile, and Rin's smile widened.

"We will—don't worry!"

So he'd said good-bye to his young wife and little boys and marched off to fight a war he had no particular yen to fight. It had been a pointless campaign, in the end: nothing was gained, many lives were lost, and Kohaku's legs had been badly injured when a keg of gunpowder had blown up and burned him after accidentally catching fire during a particularly deadlocked battle.

He'd limped home, disgusted with war and weary of death…only to find that his home was nothing more than a pile of blackened, smoking wood. And his young family was gone.

Sango had told him later that Rin had fallen ill a few months after he'd left, but she had refused to move into the taijiya village because her sons were far too sick to be moved. So Sango and her daughters had been tending to Kohaku's family. Sesshoumaru had been by twice to check up on Rin, and had left both times in a much fouler mood than was the norm for the naturally cantankerous youkai. Sango had chalked it up to worry over his former charge's illness.

The night before Kohaku returned home, his hut had caught fire while his family lay asleep inside. By the time people noticed that the hut was aflame, it was too late: there was nothing to do but wait for it to burn itself out. Rin and the boys, too weakened by disease, had been unable to get out in time. Miroku had finished what the fire had begun and blessed the ashes of Kohaku's wife and sons before burying them in the small graveyard a few miles out of the taijiya village, to join the three babies Sango had had, one after the other, that had lived long enough to die.

Sango had taken her shell-shocked brother into her home to take care of him and help him through the grief that held him. And then, Sesshoumaru had come….

Kohaku remembered very little of that night; only that Miroku and Sango, in order to save both his life and the lives of their children, had agreed to let Sesshoumaru take Kohaku to the Western Lands. It was the last time he'd seen his sister, his brother-in-law, nieces, and nephews.

He became the youkai lord's gardener because Sesshoumaru had placed him in the position, and then seemed to forget about him. It suited Kohaku just fine to be forgotten. It felt like justice. He had failed miserably in his promise to protect Rin. He had sworn on his life that he'd protect her…but as it turned out, the cost of a life was actually a soul. Kohaku had once again lost his, and this time, there was no getting it back.

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Sesshoumaru was annoyed when he didn't find the miko in her chamber.

He'd had his bath at long last, and had retired to his chambers. A demoness had come in to attend to his hair, as was par for the course. But she'd yanked a little too hard for Sesshoumaru's liking, and he'd sent her out with a sharp command. After a moment of indecision, he'd decided to get the miko to comb his hair. She had been more than adept in the task the last time she'd done it, and she hadn't yanked his hair at all, instead meticulously working through whatever snarls or knots she came upon.

So, he'd called for Jaken to send the miko to his chamber. Only, after an obscenely long wait of fifteen minutes, an understandably nervous Jaken had returned quite Kagome-less, and with news that she didn't appear to be in her room or anywhere in the palace. So, the very irritated taiyoukai was forced to leave his chambers and ascertain the whereabouts of one missing miko.

When he finally found her, he was unpleasantly surprised by her company: she was walking toward the palace on the old man's arm. The youkai lord bristled at the sight of the old man and his eyes narrowed. Even fifty years later, his hatred for the man burned just as brightly as the day Rin had died because of the human's weakness.

"Konbanwa Sesshoumaru-sama," the old man said with a low, respectful bow.

Sesshoumaru stood rigid, glaring balefully at the elderly man, who took it all in stride.

"Kagome-sama was touring your gardens and lost her way," the old man said. "I thought it best to return her to you as soon as possible."

Sesshoumaru said nothing. The old man looked at Kagome and inclined his head respectfully.

"Here you are, Kagome-sama, as promised."

"Arigatou Kohaku-kun," Kagome whispered, bowing low. "Sleep well."

The old man smiled absently at her, then bowed once more before his lord and began walking back the way they'd come. Youkai and miko watched him until he had disappeared, and then Kagome looked around at Sesshoumaru.

He was, quite frankly, royally pissed. It was evident in every line of his body, in the taut muscles of his jaw and chilling gold of his eyes. Kagome looked him over, then turned back to watch the now empty path out of the gardens that Kohaku had disappeared into.

"You didn't tell me Sango-chan's brother was still alive," she said quietly.

"It is a matter of little importance," Sesshoumaru said coldly. He turned and began walking back into the palace. "Get inside."

Kagome stayed where she was for a moment, then turned and followed Sesshoumaru in.

The story Kohaku had told her of how he had come to be in Sesshoumaru's shiro had deeply hurt her. She didn't know if it had something to do with Rin's having been one of her incarnates or if it was because the young taijiya who had been so cruelly manipulated by Naraku had been reduced to a broken old man by the vindictive whims of Fate. A young man she had remembered well, if not affectionately.

Kagome followed Sesshoumaru, assuming he was going to take her into his study and rip her a new one. Instead, they ended up at his private chambers. Kagome raised an eyebrow.

"You will attend to this Sesshoumaru's hair, Miko." the inu youkai said, voice flat, with an underlying edge of fury.

Kagome thought it prudent to keep quiet. He had turned on her once already, and it had not been a pleasant experience. She had no wish to repeat that. So when Sesshoumaru settled himself down and held the comb out, she wordlessly took it and knelt behind him and began working through his hair.

They sat in stifling silence throughout the task, and the air hummed with suppressed violence and bitterness. Kagome wisely said nothing and did nothing that could set him off, and when she was finished with her ministrations she placed the comb on the floor beside Sesshoumaru and waited to be dismissed.

The youkai lord sat with his back to her for several long beats of silence, then said,

"You will attend to this Sesshoumaru's hair from now on, Miko."

"If you want," she murmured agreeably.

"Now get out."

She was a little surprised by the venom in his voice and the harshness of the command, but she silently rose and left the chambers, shutting his fusuma softly before walking back to her own chamber.

So much for a truce.

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Kagome sniffled quietly as another fat tear rolled down her cheek and hit the sheets.

She had been tossing and turning for a long time before sleep had finally claimed her, and when it had, she'd dreamed of Inuyasha for the first time in years. She had awakened crying into her futon, body-wracking sobs muffled by the mattress to a certain extent, but still loud.

It had taken a long time for her to calm down and stop sobbing, and now she was sitting up on a fairly damp futon, sniffling as quietly as her sinuses would allow, given the circumstances. She didn't even remember the dream itself, just Inuyasha's face as he'd stared at her. Betrayed. Kagome closed her eyes miserably.

"I'm so sorry Inuyasha," she whispered in the still room. "You can't know how sorry I am."

Guilt twisted in her gut. She'd left him alone, after promising she'd never leave his side. He'd died trying to get back to her. Never mind that she hadn't been able to control her presence in the Sengoku Jidai, never mind that it had been Fate's decision for her to go back to her own time, not hers…guilt never did look at all the facts of a matter. Particularly those involving matters of the heart.

Kagome got up, wrapped her dark blue haori around herself and quietly left her chamber. She was too upset to stay there and try to go back to sleep, so she walked through the labyrinth that was Sesshoumaru's palace until she reached doors that lead her outside. She walked out of the palace, closing the doors softly, then went to the edge of the porch and sat down and looked up at the night sky.

The moon was a sliver of blue-white light, a crescent slightly thinner than the one on a certain dog demon's forehead. Kagome closed her eyes and sighed.

"Everything went to hell," she murmured. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, was it? I didn't wish for this…for Rin to die like that, or Kohaku to end up like this…I didn't wish for Shippou to die so young…I didn't wish for…Inu-inuyasha…to die alone," she managed to get out, unable, after her nightmare, to say the hanyou's name out loud without her voice cracking terribly. She leaned her forehead against her knees and drew in a shuddering breath, closing her eyes.

She stayed that way for a long time, then became aware of someone nearby. She lifted her head and looked around, but didn't see anyone.

"Hello?" she whispered into the night. "Who's there? Sesshoumaru?"

There was no answer, and Kagome started getting nervous. She abruptly got to her feet, wrapped her haori tighter about herself and stepped back from the edge of the porch, intending to go back inside.

She felt a pinch on her neck and slapped the area out of reflex and fear, barely able to keep from shrieking. She heard a groan and jumped.

"Who's there?" she asked again, voice louder and panicked.

"Forgive me," a male voice began, sounding very apologetic.

"AIIEEE!" she shrieked, bolting into the palace, slamming the doors shut and tearing back in what she thought might be the general direction of her room. She was nearly there when she slammed into someone and bounced off of him and into the wall. She hit the wall with a grunt and landed on the floor, breathless from both her impact against the person and her frantic run.

"Woman what in the seven hells are you doing?" Sesshoumaru demanded as she staggered to her feet.

"Oh gods," she said, grabbing his arm and pulling, "there's someone out there!"

"Who?" Sesshoumaru asked, not exactly worried; no one was getting into his shiro unless he wanted that person to.

"How the hell should I know?" Kagome returned, pulling harder. "You go see who—you're the man!"

"Stop that!" the demon snapped, trying to shake her off.

"Pardon me," the same voice from before spoke up, and Kagome let out another shriek and jumped a foot into the air. She hid behind Sesshoumaru.

"That's him!" she said.

Sesshoumaru sighed in exasperation, then reached around and hauled her out from behind him and began looking through her haori. Or tried to: she slapped his hands away.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Go see who's outside!"

"You stupid woman he's not outside anymore!" Sesshoumaru snapped, grabbing both her wrists in one hand and using the other to search the folds of her haori.

"What do you mean he isn't outside anymore?" she asked, sounding panicked. She tried to twist away from him. "Would you stop picking at my clothes and go rip the guy's head off already!" she snapped.

"It's Myouga bitch!" Sesshoumaru exploded.

She stopped squirming and stared up at him, even though he knew she couldn't see him in the dark hallway.

"Myouga?" she repeated, then flinched when the back of his fingers brushed against her breast. She kicked him. "Watch it, hentai," she said in warning.

Sesshoumaru sent her a cold look that was completely useless since she couldn't see it.

"Don't flatter yourself," he snarled, jostling her roughly. "Now hold still—he's on you somewhere."

Kagome did as he ordered and very soon Sesshoumaru had picked out the miniscule retainer from the folds of her haori.

"Myouga," he said, letting his displeasure leak into his voice.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," the flea youkai returned weakly. "I meant to return much sooner, my lord, but I was…er…I believe the correct term is…unavoidably delayed."

"I'm sure," was the demon lord's dry response.

"Myouga-jii-chan?" Kagome asked, stepping toward Sesshoumaru and squinting at the barely discernable being hanging between the demon's thumb and index fingers.

"Kagome-sama!" the little flea said cheerfully. "It's so nice to see you again! I am sorry for startling you outside the way I—ahhh!"

Kagome flicked the small demon out from between his lord's grasp viciously. He flew through the air and landed against the wall with an audible but rather unimpressive 'splat!' Kagome glared at the direction he'd flown in.

"Serves you right," she grumbled. "You scared the living shit out of me Myouga-jii-chan! Just what in the hell kind of greeting is that!"

"Quiet," Sesshoumaru ordered, then sighed as he rubbed the middle of his forehead with his index finger; why was the fact that the woman was disturbing his sleep not a surprise? "I suppose, since I'm up, I'll take your report now, Myouga," he said after a moment.

The little flea, having regained his bearings, hopped up onto his lord's shoulder and bowed, knowing the dog demon would be able to see the gesture.

"Certainly Sesshoumaru-sama," he said respectfully.

"Miko," Sesshoumaru said, and Kagome flinched at the sound of him addressing her.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Come," was all the taiyoukai said as he turned and began down the dark hallway.

Kagome paused for a moment, then sighed and trudged along after him.

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Kagome yawned behind her hand and blinked sleepily, then once more anchored her chin in the palm of her hand and returned her drowsy gaze to the little flea standing on Sesshoumaru's desk.

The lord of the realm himself was seated behind said desk, eyes on the diminuative retainer. He looked bored out of his mind. Kagome flicked her eyes up to Sesshoumaru's emotionless face. Yup, bored. His eyes were glazed over, a sure sign that he wasn't paying attention, and they'd been that way for the past several minutes. The miko couldn't blame him: Myouga was mind-numbing as hell. If he kept talking, there was a very real possiblity that Kagome was going to fall asleep.

The flea himself didn't seem to notice that his audience was less than engaged:

"…several human villages to our immediate south…"

Kagome yawned again, the bones in her jaw popping. She blinked again, then returned her chin to its former resting place. She happened to glance up at Sesshoumaru and saw him watching her. She raised an eyebrow, silently asking him what was wrong. He sent her a barely imperceptible shrug.

"…your youkai enemy—"

Both demon lord and miko flinched and stared at the little demon.

"What?" they asked in unison.

Myouga, interrupted so abruptly, stood with his mouth open for several seconds, staring at first his lord and then the miko.

"What?" he asked finally, confused.

"What did you say," Sesshoumaru qualified.

Myouga sent his lord a disapproving look.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, you weren't listening?" he asked, frowning.

Kagome rolled her eyes.

"No, he wasn't, now answer the question," she said.

Sesshoumaru glared at her.

"I was listening, Miko," he returned.

"Oh you were not," Kagome muttered, "you looked ready to pass out."

"That was you."

"You weren't that far behind."

Sesshoumaru snorted. Myouga cleared his throat importantly.

"My lord? Kagome-sama? If I may?"

Sesshoumaru inclined his head.

"Proceed."

"Very good," the flea said with a bow. "As I was saying, I've heard rumors about your youkai enemy, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Anything reliable?" Kagome asked.

Myouga rubbed his forehead. "To be entirely honest, I'm not sure," he said finally. "So much of what I heard was conflicting information. And we know so little about this entity that any one of the rumors might indeed be true." The little flea sent Sesshoumaru a deeply unhappy look. "It was a most frustrating mission, my lord."

There was a long pause, and then Sesshoumaru said,

"What did you hear."

Myouga sighed wearily and plopped down onto the desk, rubbing his forehead.

"Every possibility. That this youkai is no more real than a dream, and that he is just as real as you or I. That he has powers of unimaginable strength, power to surpass even you, my lord, and that he is nothing better than a henchman. I've even heard that he's a god."

"That was not a god," Kagome interrupted, voice holding no room for argument. "Gods are not evil like that thing was."

Myouga stared at her, then leapt up and latched onto the end of her nose.

"You saw him Kagome-sama!" he asked in excitement. "When! How!"

Kagome looked at the end of her nose, frowning slightly, then looked up at Sesshoumaru. Sighing quietly, the demon lord leaned over and plucked the flea off the end of her nose and Kagome gratefully uncrossed her eyes; she was beginning to get a headache.

Sesshoumaru unceremoniously dropped the flea onto his desk as he said,

"The miko did not see the youkai. He appeared here as an apparition."

"Here!" Myouga shouted.

Kagome nodded. "Right here in the study, as a matter of fact."

"The nerve! The cheek!" Myouga cried in indignation.

Kagome sent Sesshoumaru an amused look. The demon lord didn't notice it—he was watching the flea with more than a little impatience:

"Get on with it Myouga."

Myouga cleared his throat in embarrassment.

"Of course, my lord, of course," he said. "I also heard that this youkai has been very quiet in the North of late. The South has finally been completely subdued, as the East was eight years ago. It seems his hold is no longer so focused in the North. I heard from several sources that this is due in no small part to a tsusu youkai by the name of Hiroshi. He has managed to gather a few dissenters together, and apparently, they've managed to secure a portion of the North for themselves."

"What portion?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"The mountains," Myouga returned.

Kagome saw a little line appear between the demon lord's eyebrows.

"But that's good, right?" she asked, looking at Myouga. "I mean, there's a chance—"

"A pitiful group of youkai hiding in the mountains is hardly an asset," Sesshoumaru interrupted.

Kagome glared at him. "Well it isn't a drawback either you know." she snapped.

Sesshoumaru sent her a murderous look, but Kagome ignored it. Despite his various threats to her life, she was fairly certain that he wouldn't kill her. She had a job to do, after all, and it was in his best interests to keep her alive long enough to do this job. It didn't occur to her that the dog demon had made no guarantees that she would be allowed to live after she did her job. If it had, she might not have been quite so nonchalant about giving him the figurative finger.

"Actually, my lord," Myouga hesitantly interrupted, "I went to see this Hiroshi myself, to acertain whether or not the rumors had any basis."

"And?" Sesshoumaru prompted when the flea didn't immediately continue.

"Hiroshi-sama is actually quite skilled, Sesshoumaru-sama. He comes from a lower court family with very little in the way of territory, but he's an excellent strategist. And every day that I was there, more and more youkai were coming to join him."

Kagome smiled at Myouga, feeling hopeful for the first time about this whole mess.

"You could have an ally, Sesshoumaru," she said, her voice alive with optimism.

The taiyoukai glanced at her, then at his retainer. In truth, he was beginning to think the same thing. And considering the job he was going to be asking the miko to complete, he'd be needing all the men he could find.

"Go back to the North," Sesshoumaru decided finally. "See what he thinks of an alliance with this Sesshoumaru."

"And if he is disposed toward one?" Myouga eagerly inquired.

"Then he is to immediately come here. He better than anyone would understand the urgency of the order."

"Hai Sesshoumaru-sama," Myouga said, bowing lowly. "I shall leave first thing tomorrow, if it pleases my lord."

"That will be fine."

Myouga was dismissed, and the flea left the chamber with a bounce to his hop that Kagome hadn't noticed before. She turned back to the solemn youkai seated before her.

"Things are looking up, ne?" she asked with a grin.

He didn't return it, not that she'd thought for a minute that he would.

"Perhaps," he said finally. His eyes darkened slightly. "Miko, I have been pondering the subject of your particular role in all this."

Her smile slipped slightly. "Oh?"

"I've only just come to a decision as to how this is going to play out."

Kagome watched him, face just as grim as his.

"How?" she asked quietly.

"You are able to sense him with a certain sort of accuracy that I am unable to attain. So you are going to lead us to him."

"And then?"

"And then you're going to have to purify him to hell. He has several armies at his disposal—I shall attend to them. But the youkai is your job and yours alone. Do you understand what this means?"

Kagome nodded. "I'm on my own." she said.

Sesshoumaru inclined his head, his version of a nod of agreement.

That was a thought that hadn't occurred to Kagome. She had assumed that Sesshoumaru or his commander Rai would be going in after this bastard with her. It had never occurred to her that she would have to face this entity alone.

Kagome had never faced an enemy so formidable all alone. When she'd fought Naraku, she'd had Inuyasha at her side, with Miroku, Sango and Sesshoumaru as back-up. She'd always had someone with her. It was impossible for her to picture herself going into battle alone. But if Sesshoumaru was to be believed—and he wasn't the sort to lie or make jokes—that was exactly the scenario she had facing her. It was an unpleasant one, to say the least, and extremely frightening.

The young woman watched the demon lord seated before her. He must have seen something in her gaze, because he quirked an eyebrow and said,

"What."

"Did you ever get the feeling that Fate's got it in for you?" she asked.

They stared at each other for a moment in silence, and then Sesshoumaru said,

"As a matter of fact, the thought has been occurring to me with depressing regularity."

Kagome nodded.

"Yeah, I expected as much."

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Half an hour later, Kagome was back in her chamber and unable to sleep. Partly because she was afraid she'd see Inuyasha again if she closed her eyes, and partly because…well, she felt lonely.

Kagome snorted and rolled onto her stomach, chin on her stacked arms, glaring at the darkness. It really should have been impossible that she missed that insufferable bastard's presence, but here she was. She had gotten used to him sitting near by, arms folded over his chest and head leaned back against a tree, cool eyes closed but every fiber of his being completely aware of what was going on around him. He was like a living, breathing—and absolutely infuriating—security blanket. And if that wasn't weird as hell, she didn't know what was.

She tossed and turned for a little while longer, then sat up with a growl of frustration.

"This sucks," she muttered.

She sighed wearily, tucking her chin into the palm of her hand. She was tired—exhausted, really; that nap she'd had hadn't even begun to chip away at her sleep deprivation of the past weeks—but she couldn't sleep.

She became aware of a very familiar youki just before the fusuma to her room snapped open.

"You might knock, you know," she said mildly.

"I might," Sesshoumaru agreed. He paused. "Why aren't you asleep?"

Kagome squinted at him for several moments in silence.

"I know you didn't come all the way over here to ask me that," she said finally in disbelief.

"It's not that far away, Miko."

"Holy shit—you did?" Kagome asked, stunned.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"Are you sick or something?"

"Of course not—I never get sick," Sesshoumaru snapped. "Now answer the damn question."

"I can't sleep," Kagome snapped back. "Gods above."

Sesshoumaru slid the fusuma shut and settled himself against the wall beside it. Kagome stared at his form.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting."

"I can see that."

"Then you shouldn't have asked such a stupid question."

"You're such an asshole."

"You're entitled to your opinion."

"I doubt I'm the only one with that opinion."

She got the distinct impression that he smirked:

"Probably not…but you are certainly the only one stupid enough to speak it aloud."

"Oh go to hell Sesshoumaru."

"Go to sleep Miko."

Kagome plopped down onto the futon with a grunt and stared up at the roof for a long while. Then, she turned her head to look in Sesshoumaru's general direction.

"I'm a big girl, you know," she said. "I haven't been afraid of the dark since I was eight."

"I'm not here for your comfort, woman," Sesshoumaru coolly returned.

Kagome had to marvel at his ability to make her feel so insignificant with just a handful of words as she replied in exasperation:

"Then why're you here?"

"I can hear you moving around in here. It's distracting. Therefore, I intend to stay in here until you go to sleep."

"What makes you think having you in here will make me go to sleep?"

"If nothing else, it will make smothering you that much easier to accomplish."

"There's a cheerful thought."

"Shut up and go to sleep."

"Tyrant."

"Miko…."

"Geez, all right!" she muttered, flopping over onto her side, her back to him. "Good-night Sesshoumaru."

He didn't reply, of course. And within minutes, Kagome had drifted off. Sesshoumaru sat quietly, watching the far wall. He listened to the miko's even breathing, and wasn't quite able to believe that his hunch had been correct: not only did she fall asleep within five minutes of quieting down, the moment she nodded off, her ki slipped out and nudged his youki. Curious, Sesshoumaru allowed the pure energy to wrap itself around him. It was uncomfortable at first, and he had to work at not reacting adversely, but eventually, that strange peacefulness slid through him and he relaxed. His eyes drifted shut, and the demon lord nodded off.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

It just wasn't possible.

Kagome stared at the well-house roof as she lay in the bottom of the well, her shoulder aching vaguely. She closed her eyes, waited a minute, then opened them again. The view hadn't changed. There was no wide, sweeping sky above her, no blue firmament, no wispy clouds. Instead, the gloomy well-house roof met her gaze.

She was back in her own era.

The young woman sat up, rubbing her hip. Why was she home? She hadn't been anywhere near the well! She'd been in Obaa-chan's hut, with Sango-chan and Miroku-sama and Shippou-chan and Kirara and Obaa-chan herself…and, of course, Inuyasha had been there too. They had all gathered for the final chapter of the Shikon no Tama—her wish. And she'd made her wish, and the Shikon had disappeared and then….

Kagome paled suddenly.

"No," she whispered shakily. She got to her feet and stared at the dirt, eyes wide in horror. "No. No no no no no no," she said, growing increasingly more hysterical with each "no."

The girl from the future had never thought that she'd be so abruptly disposed of once she had completed her task in the Sengoku Jidai. It had never occurred to her that once the Shikon was no longer in the feudal era, her presence would no longer be required either. Even now, standing at the bottom of the well that had been letting her travel through time for two years now, she couldn't believe it.

So she scrambled halfway up the ladder and then jumped down, praying desperately that she'd be caught by the ancient magic and be transported back in time. Instead, she hit the hard-packed earth, her knees slamming into the well bottom, the impact shaking her small frame. She repeated the futile effort countless times, each fruitless attempt making her fear and panic grow more terrible and suffocating. She kept saying "No," her voice cracking occassionally, hoping beyond hope that her one-word mantra might do something—anything

In the end, all she had to show for three hours of jumping down the well again and again were full-blown hysteria and dirty, scraped knees and hands. She sat in the bottom of the well for another two hours, crying her heart out, until her grandfather found her and ran to the house yelling for her mother.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

The first time she seriously hurt herself was five months later, when she snapped her left leg.

Kagome had been jumping down the well every afternoon when she got home from school, spending untold hours doing something that was increasingly proving not just futile, but dangerous; she'd sprained her leg twice already with awkward landings, and she had some pretty impressive bruises on her knees and shins. But Kagome was good at self-delusion. It was a skill she'd picked up not too long after Kikyou's reappearance in Inuyasha's life, and it served her well now, made her grimly determined to continue on with this pointlessness because there was a chance she might get through. Never mind that she'd never quite figured out how the well worked—she was convinced that sheer preserverance would get her what she wanted. And she desperately wanted to see Inuyasha again.

There had been nothing particularly ominous about the day she'd broken her leg, nothing that would have foretold of the event. Then again, Kagome probably wouldn't have noticed had there been signs—she was simply too focused on her objective to note much of what went on around her anymore.

She'd awakened and had breakfast with her family and dressed in her uniform and gathered her books and gone to school. She had endured the mind-numbing company of her friends, the no-longer-relative curriculum, and then she'd walked home and headed straight into the well-house. She set her books by the doors, which she slid shut, then walked down the steps and stopped before the dark well.

In the five months since she'd been returned, Kagome had discovered something about herself: she hated the Bone-Eater's Well as much as she loved it. At first, it had seemed impossible to both love and hate an inanimate object. It sounded ridiculous, it sounded impossible. And perhaps it was ridiculous—but it was most certainly not impossible.

The well had connected her to Inuyasha. Still connected her, she stubbornly insisted, the conviction still firm and strong in her. It was her gateway to him. She loved it because of that. And she hated it for the same reason.

The dry well was all she thought about anymore. It consumed her. Because it was the only thing keeping her from Inuyasha. It both connected them and separated them. So, for that, she both loved it and hated it.

Kagome stared down into the black depths for some time in silence. She thought of how she was going to apologize to Inuyasha for taking so long to get back to him, how she was going to apologize to all of them for disappearing the way she had. She forgot that she hadn't had a say in her removal from the Sengoku Jidai; somewhere along the way, the girl from the future had gotten it into her head that her being in this era was somehow her fault. It was something she had done, or something she hadn't done, that had landed her here, separated from the man she loved.

Once the girl was satisfied with her apology, she stepped forward and clambered over the lip of the well and grabbed onto the ladder. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and let go, stepping out into the air. She fell, still fully expecting the magic of the well to flare to life, still fully expecting to be engulfed by blue light and transported back in time. What she did not expect was to land rather awkwardly on her left leg, or hear and feel the long bone of her shin snap sickeningly.

Kagome lay at the bottom of the well in shock for a moment, too stunned by what had just happened and the pain it had caused to do or say anything. Then the nerves in her leg managed to get their message to her brain, and Kagome began panting and whimpering. She made the mistake of touching her injured leg, an action which elicted a scream of agony from her that alerted her family to the fact that something had gone horribly wrong.

Jii-chan, who had been sweeping the courtyard, reached her first, throwing the doors open and bellowing,

"Kagome! Kagome what happened!"

"Jii-chan!" Kagome screamed. "My leg!"

The old man ran down the stairs to the well and peered down it. There wasn't enough light for him to see much more than a vague outline of her at best, Kagome knew, but he still seemed to grasp the severity of her injury.

"I'll get your mother—don't move!" he yelled, then disappeared from her view. Kagome took in great gasps of air as pain shot up and down her leg and hot tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Inuyasha," she cried brokenly. "Inuyasha, help."

Jii-chan returned with her mother and Souta, who had a flashlight. When the beam of light hit her leg, her mother cried out and Souta took in a deep gulp of air.

"Nee-chan?" the boy asked.

Kagome was too busy crying at that point to reply. Mama told Jii-chan to call for an ambulance. Souta, meanwhile, threw a leg over the lip of the well and grabbed hold of the ladder and began descending into the well, the flashlight still in his grasp, now tucked under his chin. He carefully landed next to her and knelt down, eyeing the leg, white-faced.

"Mama," he croaked, "the bone looks like it's gonna pop out of Nee-chan's skin!"

"Oh gods," Mama said, voice betraying her fear. "Souta, don't move your sister! Wait for the paramedics, please!"

"I won't move her Mama," the boy said softly, touching a hand to Kagome's head. Kagome reached up and grabbed hold of her little brother's hand as if it were her only life line, and he squeezed gently, letting her know without words that he wasn't going anywhere.

Mama went with Kagome to the hospital, where she was given local anesthesia and the bone set and leg firmly wrapped in plaster and bandages.

"She was very lucky that you were home, Higurashi-san," the doctor who attended the pale-faced girl said to her mother, who looked just as white. "If she'd been home alone, she might have sat there for hours without medical attention, and the bone would very likely have broken the skin. It would have caused some complications, to be sure."

"I see," Mama said, swallowing shallowly. She bowed lowly. "Arigatou gozaimasu, Takeda-sensai."

The doctor bowed in return.

"You're welcome Higurashi-san. The bones should set and knit within eight weeks or so, and the cast should be ready to come off by then. In the mean time, I'd like to see her again in two, just to be sure everything is progressing along as it should."

Kagome said nothing during the conversation, empty eyes staring up at the roof as tears leaked out of the corners and dribbled into her ears. She hurt too much, both physically and emotionally, to care—Inuyasha hadn't come. He hadn't been able to hear her.

They left the hospital in a taxi soon after, the ride home quiet. The cab driver was kind enough to help Kagome up the shrine steps, for which Mama was obviously grateful. The girl awkwardly fumbled her way to the house using the crutches she'd been given at the hospital, her mother at her side.

"Kagome," she said softly just before they reached the house, "I don't want you to get upset, but this has to stop."

Kagome didn't reply.

"You can't keep doing this, Kagome. Today it was your leg. And while you may not think so, you were very lucky—it could just as easily have been your neck that you broke."

The girl said nothing, face set in grim lines. Mama stopped, her eyes watering.

"Kagome!" she cried. "Please stop!"

Kagome stopped but didn't turn around. Not because she didn't want to, but because she was still new to the crutches and wasn't sure how to execute the move without falling and hurting herself.

"He's waiting for me, Mama," she said softly. "He's waiting for me to come back. I can't stop—I can't abandon Inuyasha."

Mama sniffed loudly. "Kagome, you can't go through the well anymore," she whispered, voice pained. "I know you miss Inuyasha, dear, but you can't go through the well, don't you see that?"

"I'm not abandoning Inuyasha!" Kagome shouted, furious with her mother for the first time in her life. "He needs me!"

"Kagome, you can't go through the well!" Mama insisted. "Not anymore! It's closed to you now! And I refuse to let you risk your life anymore!"

"It's my life to do with as I please!"

"You're my daughter and I forbid you!" Mama shouted, then pressed a hand to her mouth, shaking slightly, as if suddenly realizing what she was doing; she'd never raised her voice to her children ever, and it was a new and probably very unpleasant sensation for her.

"Why are you doing this?" Kagome asked, tears running down her cheeks. "Mama don't you understand that Inuyasha needs me?"

Mama went to Kagome, her usually warm, friendly eyes pained and cloudy with tears.

"Kagome," she said softly, resting her hands on either side of her daughter's face, making the stubborn girl look at her, "it's over."

"No," her daughter obstinately insisted.

Mama tightened her hold a bit more.

"Kagome…it's over. It's over, dear. You're not going back to the Sengoku Jidai. Not ever again. It's over."

They stared at each other in silence for a long time. Kagome was frightened and angry and hurt that her mother was saying such a horrible thing to her. Mama, better than anyone, knew what Inuyasha meant to her. How could she say it was over when it hadn't even begun?

A part of Kagome wept because it knew that Mama was right, that it was over and there was no going back. But the larger part of the girl refused to give up hope that maybe, just maybe, just this once, Mama was wrong. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't over yet. It was simply paused, on hiatus.

Love could transcend time…couldn't it?

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Sesshoumaru stood very still, eyes narrowed and searching. He was standing in the middle of a field of long grass and flowers. Above him, the blue sky stretched wide, and it looked sunny. Wind was stirring the grass and flowers. All in all, it was very peaceful. And he had no idea what he was doing in such a place.

"What the hell?" came a familiar voice, and the demon lord turned and found Kagome standing before him, a dumbfound expression on her face. "What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"Well how in the seven hells should I know?" he asked irritably. "I don't even know where 'here' is."

"This is the dream plain," Kagome said. She looked around, obviously searching for someone. "I usually meet Miroku here…but you're not Miroku."

"That's very astute of you, Miko," Sesshoumaru said dryly, then paused and thought about what she'd said. "Your friend the houshi?"

Kagome nodded. "I've been dreaming with him for a while now. He's pretty consistent…but I guess he decided to take the night off or something." She looked up at the sky. "This isn't where we usually meet, either. It's a long path under an orange sky. I guess it's supposed to be symbolic, but I never really thought about it—"

"Shut up," Sesshoumaru said, rubbing his forehead. "Just stop talking."

Kagome glared at him but said nothing.

They stood in silence for a time, and then Kagome sighed dramatically and plopped down into the grass with an unfeminine snort.

"If you're going to be such a drag, leave," she said.

"I said shut up," the demon returned immediately.

"I will not! This is my dream!"

"It is not your dream you stupid cow—the dream plain belongs to no one."

Kagome grabbed a piece of turf and threw it at him. It hit his arm with a splat and he whirled on her and glared.

"I'm not a stupid cow," she informed him, folding her arms in front of her chest.

Sesshoumaru cracked his knuckles.

"You're right," he said, voice icy, "you're a dead one."

He leapt at her and Kagome threw herself out of the way with a yelp. Sesshoumaru swiped at her head and missed by bare inches. Kagome back pedalled away from him as fast as she possibly could, which unfortunately wasn't fast enough to keep her away from him. They ended up beating the crap out of each other in the dirt—AGAIN—for a while, until Sesshoumaru abruptly flipped her over his head and sat up. Kagome landed with an audible "Oof!" and lay still for a moment, panting. Then she rose up on her elbows and watched him. He was frowning at the landscape.

"What's your problem?" she asked, spying a piece of grass in her bangs and balancing on one elbow while she reached up and removed the offending article.

"That was unforgivably childish," Sesshoumaru returned.

"It most certainly was," Kagome agreed, flicking the piece of grass away. "But it'd be stupid to get all bent out of shape over it. This is just a dream, after all."

He sent her an acidic look but didn't say anything. They sat in silence for a long time, and then Kagome threw herself back onto the grass with a sigh.

"I would love to know what in the seven hells you're doing here," she commented, squinting up at the sky.

"You and me both," Sesshoumaru muttered.

"If this was Miroku's bright idea," Kagome said thoughtfully after a pause, "I'm going to kick him where it hurts next time I see him."

Sesshoumaru's gaze flickered to the woman laying a foot or so away from him.

"'Where it hurts'?" he repeated.

"Uh-huh—that very tender area of the male body where one well-placed kick can reduce even Mr. Macho to a screaming baby." She lifted her head and glared at him. "I keep trying to kick you there, but you're too fast."

Sesshoumaru smirked.

"Of course, stupid woman," he said condescendingly.

Kagome's glare deepened and her middle finger shot up. "Asshole."

"Bitch."

They glared at each for a moment, and then Kagome rolled her eyes and groaned and let her head fall back.

"We're pathetic."

"Speak for yourself, human."

"Oh fuck you."

"This is getting us nowhere," Sesshoumaru announced, rising. He walked over to her, leaned over, grabbed her by the front of the haori and lifted her to her feet despite her protests. "Get us out of here."

"What are you talking about?" Kagome demanded as he released her and she began tugging her clothing back into order.

Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth. "Miko…." he growled low in the back of his throat.

"Look Asshole, I don't know how to get out of here," Kagome snapped.

The demon lord made a low sound in his throat that sounded like he was holding back a scream of exasperation.

"How did you get out of here all the other times?" he inquired, enunciating carefully in an obvious attempt to keep from lopping her head off.

Kagome shrugged. "Uh-uh."

"What is that supposed to mean?" he demanded, his irritation seeping into his voice.

"It means I don't know, Sesshoumaru."

He started at her, then closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with his index finger.

"Headache?" she asked politely.

"Hai," he replied tightly.

"Anything I can do?"

"Unless you're going to drop dead within the next several seconds, no," he brusquely returned.

Kagome humphed. "Fine then, be like that, but I was only trying to help."

"I don't need your help!" he snapped.

The miko raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really? So then why did you go to all the trouble of finding me? Huh?"

"I believe I've explained this several times already," the demon lord said, voice icy.

"I forgot," Kagome replied, hands folded behind her back, smiling politely at him in a manner that told him she most certainly had not forgotten.

"If you're going to lie, baka, you might at least attempt to make yourself believeable," the taiyoukai bit out.

Kagome's smile widened and became more pleasant:

"Answer the fucking question Asshole."

"And if I choose not to?" Sesshoumaru threw back, voice edged with a dangerously high amonut of aggravation.

"Then I'll just have to answer for you," Kagome said.

The demon lord sent her a sour look.

"You enjoy the sound of your own voice, don't you?"

To his consternation, she merely smiled demurely.

"I require your powers of purification."

"Require," Kagome said, lips pursed. "And another word for require is need, isn't it? And when someone is in need, you're supposed to—"

"Finish that sentence and die," Sesshoumaru promised, cracking his knuckles.

Kagome pouted.

"Kill-joy," she muttered.

He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, hands clenching. It was really amazing how quickly murder occurred to him when she was around.

"Try and get us out of here, Miko," Sesshoumaru instructed after he'd given himself sufficient time to control the urge to throttle her.

Kagome sent him an exasperated look.

"I already told you I can't—"

"TRY!" he bellowed, and she jumped three feet into the air.

"FINE!" she bellowed back. "Holy hells you're touchy tonight!"

He ground his back teeth together.

"Just. Try." he bit out.

Kagome sent him an irritated look, but she shut her eyes and tried. He guessed. Her face twisted into a frown after several moments, and then she growled under her breath and opened her eyes.

"I can't," she said, "something or someone won't let me."

Sesshoumaru sighed impatiently and rubbed the center of his forehead with his fore and middle fingers.

"Now what?" he growled.

"Don't bite my head off," she snapped, "if I had my way you wouldn't even be here."

"The feeling is acutely mutual."

Because they had nothing else to do besides interact with each other (and that wasn't really going so well), they sat down in the grass side by side in silence. And that worked. For a while.

"Maybe we're supposed to do something," Kagome finally said.

"Like what?" Sesshoumaru demanded irritably. "What could we possibly have to do in a field on the dream plain?"

"If I knew that, we'd have done it already and this nightmare would have ended a long time ago." the miko returned sharply, and Sesshoumaru growled impatiently low in the back of his throat. She sighed in obvious annoyance. "Maybe it's a test of patience." she volunteered finally.

"Then I should be jumping several spots ahead for reincarnation for this," Sesshoumaru muttered.

"Look Asshole, you're no fucking picnic either!"

He stared at her. "What in the seven hells are you talking about?" he demanded in exasperation at long last.

"You! You're such a dickhead!" she shouted. "Gods! What the hell is your problem, anyway! All you ever do is bitch! I'm at least making an effort to keep this whole…whole—argh! I don't even know what to call it!—from making me miserable, but you don't bother! All you do is suck the life out of—"

"Get to the point," Sesshoumaru said coldly.

Kagome stared at him, then closed her eyes and sighed, a bitter smile on her face as she shook her head.

"I'm not any happier about being here than you are, Sesshoumaru. You might keep that in mind."

They lapsed into silence again, and then Sesshoumaru said,

"Why was he so important."

"What?" Kagome asked after a second, startled.

Sesshoumaru sighed.

"Why was he so important."

"Who?"

"The hanyou."

"Inuyasha?" she murmured, staring at him in surprise.

"What other hanyou would I—"

"I get it," she said, rolling her eyes. "What do you mean why was he so important?"

"When you couldn't get back through the well."

Kagome sat silently for a long time, then whispered,

"Why do you want to know? I doubt you're interested in my feelings for your brother."

"Half-brother," Sesshoumaru immediately corrected.

Kagome's lips quirked sadly. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes.

"I simply fail to see what about the hanyou should have inspired such loyalty."

"Well…." Kagome began, "I loved him. Love him."

Sesshoumaru sneered. "Love," he spat out.

Kagome smiled sadly at him.

"Come on Sesshoumaru," she said. "Don't tell me there wasn't one person you ever loved, even a little."

"Love is a useless emotion, Miko."

If it was possible, her smile became even sadder.

"I'm sorry for you, Sesshoumaru."

He raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

"Your life must be very lonely without someone to love."

He snorted. "I require no one but myself," he said, and immediately frowned as he realized what a bald-faced lie he'd just uttered.

"I think you've gotten used to being alone," she said.

No one ever gets used to being alone, Sesshoumaru thought, then frowned; now where had that sentimental dribble come from?

Rather than voice such a horrifiyingly maudlin thought, the demon lord said,

"Love for the hanyou reduced you to a broken shell, if you'll recall. You don't honestly expect me to agree with you that such a destructive emotion is a good thing."

She flinched slightly and seemed to shrink away from him. But her voice was steady if laced with pain when she softly replied,

"Love isn't a destructive emotion."

He snorted.

"Of course it isn't," he said condescendingly.

"It isn't," she whispered, eyes staring ahead sightlessly. "It's a basic, fundamental feeling. It's a connection to another person you trust to take care of you and be with you for forever, and they trust you and want to be with you right back. No one wants to be alone, Sesshoumaru. Everyone on the planet wants to be loved, even a little."

"This Sesshoumaru desires obedience, nothing more," the demon returned.

Kagome looked over at him, face shadowed by aching sorrow. Sesshoumaru watched her out the corner of his eye.

"That's very sad," she said finally.

"Spare me your pity, human."

She sighed, and went back to looking ahead at nothing in particular.

"It isn't pity," she murmured. "It's just being sad for you, since you won't be."

"You're disgustingly sentimental."

"It's part of being human, Sesshoumaru. Maybe that's why it's so hard for you to understand it."

"Or perhaps it is simply stupid."

She sighed wearily, and the noise surprised him because it made her sound so very old. He was again struck by the notion that she seemed to be hundreds of years old, and he again shoved it away as a thoroughly idiotic thought. She was human, after all—the most she could hope to live to was forty, if she was lucky.

"I can't expect you to understand," she said. "You didn't even cry when Rin-chan died."

He went rigid at the words and said nothing for a long time. They sat in a silence heavy with fury and melancholy.

"You're a stupid woman, so I'll forgive you for speaking of things about which you do not know," he said finally, voice taut.

"You didn't cry for Inuyasha either," she accused.

"He was a stupid, foolish hanyou who deserved what he got!" Sesshoumaru roared, leaping to his feet. "Pining over a human woman—it was disgraceful!"

"What was disgraceful about it?" she demanded, rising to her feet to face him. "He missed me—he loved me! I loved him back! What was so disgraceful about that!"

"That same useless emotion killed my father!" he bellowed. "He went to save that stupid bitch and that abomination against Nature, to protect them, after nearly dying in battle with Ryuukossei! If he'd done as Myouga had asked and not gone, he wouldn't have succumbed to a miserable human's blade! And I refuse to be brought down so low by a human or anyone!"

They stared at each other in silence. Sesshoumaru was livid, perhaps more furious than she'd seen him in a long while—at least not since that frightening confrontation in the forest over the dream-memories. Kagome watched him, blinking owlishly, then slowly sank back down into the grass and wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on top of her knees.

"I thought you respected your father," she said finally.

"I will not discuss my father with you," he snarled. "And I've had just about enough of you."

So saying, he turned abruptly on his heel and stalked away, his hair and pelt trailing along after him. Kagome listened to his angry retreat, then sighed and closed her eyes.

"Fate wasn't fair to anyone," she murmured. "Not to me, not to Sesshoumaru, not to Inuyasha, not to Rin-chan or Kohaku-kun…." She opened her eyes and looked up at the sky. "I hope it was worth it," she said to the firmament, "because you've ruined a lot of people's lives."