See what I have to deal with? It's a wonder that I can get anything done at all.

"Romie -- STOP commenting and START typing, bee-otch.
NOW! Dammit. And I do mean NOW.
It's written out. I'm letting everyone know that you've written it out but have not typed it yet.
Stop trying to steal my Carol Fing Brady crown - you don't need to entertain the kidlets. You need to entertain me, dammit.
TYPE TYPE TYPE."

Ooooh, the pressure.

Decidedly angst free for Queen Fcking Elizabeth.

I guess I should remind everyone that this is AU and set in mid season 2. All legal errors are mine even though I did research the matter. I'm soooo grateful I live in Canada. Even if I can't buy Kix cereal.

Or Excedrin Migraine pills.

Hey, muchtvs! This is my second update in 8 days. You've officially been piñata-ed.

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Chapter Sixteen

3:09 PM

Despite Kirsten's dislike for hitting a small white ball on a cultivated cow pasture, she found herself enjoying the afternoon. The fact she was winning didn't hurt either. Sandy had assumed because she didn't play golf translated to she couldn't play. Saturday mornings growing up were spent on the links with her father. Golf wasn't a game played for relaxation or fun. It wasn't father/daughter time. It was to close whatever deal was on the table. She was there to dangle in front of the sons of associates.

The implied prize for doing business with Caleb Nichol.

She caught the sound of Seth's laughter. It came at Ryan's expense after missing a 3 foot putt. She stifled a giggle. If it was just a matter of getting to the green, Ryan could play in junior tournaments..

His short game?

Sucked.

Inwardly she admonished herself not to say "sucked".

Ryan grinned good naturedly as he missed again, finally tapping the ball in with his foot.

Seth gently knocked his own ball in the hole.

"That is called a…." Come on, let me hear you say it… A birdie. And that means what? Bye Bye Birdie… A quick shout out to Chino musicals? Noooo. It means we have a new leader and that would be who? Right. That would be me. I'm King of the Links, Ma…

Seth strutted proudly, delivering high fives all around. Sandy distractedly congratulated Seth. Kirsten picked up on the underlying tension emanating from him. His mind was elsewhere. Thankfully the boys hadn't picked up on it. Seth and Ryan raced to the golf cart, jostling each other for possession of the driver's seat. Kirsten approached her husband. His smile belied the worry in his eyes.

"Sandy?"

He kissed her forehead.

"We'll talk later. It's "Angst-Free Ryan" day and I'll be damned if anything spoils it for him… For us.

Let's go catch up to the kids."

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Dean Ackles made himself comfortable in Caleb's office. Everything had gone as planned. The motion was filed and Sandy Cohen was served the summons. He was a little surprised he hadn't heard anything yet. He was positive he'd be facing the wrath of Cohen sooner than later.

Sandy Cohen's legal acuity was legendary. It was often felt in the judiciary circles that his talents were wasted in the Public Defenders Office. He could easily have been District Attorney or a powerful defense lawyer. The entire legal community watched with interest when Sandy took on his father-in-law and won a case that was considered a lost cause.

For those reasons Ackles disliked him. Sandy had opportunities Dean could only dream of. Sure he himself was a good lawyer. He was actually a very good lawyer, but very good lawyers were a dime a dozen.

He just wasn't exceptional.

Exceptional lawyers were a rare breed.

Exceptional lawyers had the status.

Exceptional lawyers made the exceptional money.

Hell, exceptional lawyers got the good tables in restaurants.

Exceptional lawyers didn't do grunt work for Caleb Nichol.

Speak of the devil and the devil doth appear.

A rather disinterested devil.

Caleb brushed passed the lawyer and poured himself a drink, not offering one to his minion.

"Everything set?"

"Judge Winchester signed off. Due to the nature of the case and the relatively short time frame we have, Cohen has only 14 days to respond. Doesn't matter though, precedent alone will get any motion he files tossed out. Hell, even the ACLU is on our side…"

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6:40 PM

Score keeping had been abandoned by the 7th hole. All sense of golf etiquette was lost by the 16th. More rules than not had been broken and it was undoubtedly the most enjoyable afternoon on the course Sandy had. Now the family sat in the clubhouse. He fought to keep thoughts of the summons sequestered in the back of his mind. This day was going to stay drama-free, at least for Kirsten and the boys.

Speaking of the boys, the sounds of good-natured teasing drew him back.

"Dude… Just because they put the bendy straw in your ice-tea doesn't mean you have to use it…"

Ryan took another long draw from his drink before snatching the fruit skewer that adorned Seth's glass, eating it before he could protest.

Kirsten smiled at their antics. Sandy fixed them with a look.

"Don't make me pull over this restaurant over." He intoned with mock seriousness. "If you two can't behave…"

The not so subtle cough of the unamused waiter stopped Sandy from finishing his threat. He managed to return some semblance of propriety to the table.

Sandy and Kirsten both ordered the seafood risotto. Seth was undecided. Ryan was hungry. For the first time in a week the gnawing in his stomach was hunger. He was gong to enjoy this.

"I'd like a cheeseburger please…"

The waiter's eyebrow went up.

"We don't have cheeseburgers on the menu. Perhaps you should order something we have. Do you need a few minutes yet?" The disdain was apparent.

This time the embarrassment creeping up Ryan's face was tinged with shame. His appetite pretty much disappeared. He opened the menu again.

"You have Steak Tartare on the menu…" It was a statement, not a question.

The tone in Kirsten's voice caused Ryan to look up.

"Yes we do." The waiter conceded. Sensing he was on the verge of losing a generous tip, he shifted to a conciliatory manner. "It is a chef's specialty. Prime, tender, hand cut beef…"

Sandy sat back to enjoy the show. The Kirsten was channeling her inner mother bear and this soon to be ex-waiter was going to get his ass chewed.

"That sounds lovely. Perhaps the line cook could grill it medium well, add a couple slices of 12 year old Balderson and put it on a lightly toasted ciabatta bun that according to the menu are freshly baked on the premises. That sounds remarkable similar to a cheeseburger, wouldn't you say," Kirsten glanced at the waiter's name tag. "James?"

"Yes ma'am." James sense of self was taken down a peg. "I'll oversee the order personally."

Seth closed his menu.

"I'll have the Tartare too… Well done, hold the cheese, hold the spit…" He gave James his best You're so busted smile. "And if you'd be so kind as to bring me another virgin Margarita, not that it speaks of my prowess with the ladies and my brother an ice-tea with another bendy straw, I'd really appreciate it."

James nodded and left quickly.

The family was quiet. For the first time ever, Ryan felt he had to break the silence.

"Thanks… you didn't have to…"

"Hey, no probs… No one can work the bendy straw and still look as manly as you. Awwwwwww, you look so cute when you blush…

"Seth, I know where you sleep…."

"Mom… Ryan's scaring me…"

Angst free Ryan day was an unqualified success.

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Saturday 4:22 AM

Sandy ran a hand through his hair as he considered how to respond to the summons. There would be no hiding this from Ryan, no behind the scenes legal maneuvering. No waving a magic briefcase and making it disappear.

He wasn't that good of a lawyer.

In theory, the motion should even make it in front of a judge, but in reality the system was not on their side. The fact that the time usually allowed to answer motions had been reduced to 14 days from the standard 30 showed that the cards were stacked against them. Sighing, he locked the papers in his desk, his resolve building. He had a good idea who was behind this latest development but he knew there would be no trail leading back. This was the one aspect of this whole mess he wished he could hide, could protect his family from. Out and out confrontation would be futile at this point. A waste of resources. The time would come for the house of cards to crash down

The Cohens, all four of them would still stand.

He was that good of a lawyer.

Opening the door to Seth's room, Sandy smiled as he watched his son sleep, arms and legs sprawled all over the bed. The sleep of one safe in the knowledge that mom and dad would keep the monsters away.

Across the hall, he listened to the steady but still raspy breathing of his other son. Ryan slept propped up on a pile of pillows, his head tilted uncomfortably to the side. Sandy didn't dare move him, afraid the boy would awaken.

He vowed he'd do whatever he could to keep the monsters away, but the monsters he was dealing with didn't just hide under the bed.