Chapter 3

You shape me like clay,

Yet, I crumble beneath your fingers

She wasn't sure if coming here was a good idea. Probably not, since she made a few questionable choices this week - and it was just the first week of the school year.

First, she made the mistake of giving Mr Porter and Coach Loftin any hope that she might join the cheerleaders. Coach Loftin did reach out to her and personally invited her to the try outs next week. But Delaney decided that she would just skip it. She kept replaying it in her head, but she just wasn't ready to face her past life - meaning facing Sheri…again.

It wasn't that Sheri was a bad person, she knew better than that. They have been friends forever, Sheri actually being the first real friend she ever made. But they just stopped talking. They never talked after Jeff's death. Not really sure if it was her fault or if Sheri just didn't want to talk to her to stay away from the drama, Delaney just accepted it - the fact that Sheri was not her friend anymore. And frankly, she was afraid to be rejected by her, which is why she never even tried to reach out to Sheri. She could handle the hate from other people, but not from the only two people she trusted besides her own brother.

Angie left. Right after the news of Jeff broke, she was send to an all girl catholic school by her parents, who found out that she was at the party with Sheri as well. When she got pulled out of school, all her social media was inactive and Delaney never dared to reach out to her as well, the same fear of rejection preventing her from trying.

And now she was standing in front of the auto repair shop that was owned by Angie's family, waiting for it to open up. As if she couldn't find another shop.

Delaney sighed, leaning against the hood of her car.

' What if I wasn't sick and went to the party as well. Would Jeff be alive?'

This was a question that plagued her for a year now. She sighed again, trying to shake off all the ifs and whens in her head.

He is dead and she cannot change anything about it. She has to accept it and somehow try to move on.

' Kinda hard when the only person who truly cared for you isn't here anymore' she thought looking up to the sky, her hands resting behind her on the hood.

Without noticing it, a tear slid down her right cheek.

When was the last time she cried?

"Laney", she heard a voice, startling her - it was a nickname she has not heard in a year.

She wiped the tear away quickly, looking straight into an all too familiar face.

"Hey Tony", she greeted him with a weak smile.

She always liked Tony, who was Angie's cousin. They didn't spend too much time with him, but she does remember how he would sometimes pick them up or give them a ride, even when the three of them decided to do something spontaneously. Sometimes, they would come to the auto repair shop to hang out if they had no other plans. That's the reason she even knows this place.

"I came to have my car checked", she said quickly, trying to play off the awkwardness she felt.

"Oh, what's wrong with it?" Tony asked coming closer with concern hiding behind his eyes.

"Nothing", Delaney shrugged, "just my mum making sure to have my car checked quarterly without a reason."

Both of them knew the reason very well - preventing another scandalous car accident.

"Oh, yeah sure, I can check the car", he said, Delaney already handing him the keys.

"Cool, I just…eh…I just", she felt awkward, not sure how to interact normally with people anymore. Usually, they tried to avoid her.

Tony was friendly - just how he used to be.

"I just go…somewhere", she muttered.

"Your mum didn't accompany you?", he asked. Even though Delaney never told him, he knew that her family was somewhat broken, even before Jeff died. Just like Sheri and Angie knew.

"Nope, she is not in town. They are somewhere, not sure where, maybe still in Chicago", she shrugged it off, trying to play it cool.

"You have been all by yourself?"

Even if he didn't say it directly, she knew what he meant.

"Nothing new. I have been by myself almost the whole last year."

Tony played with the keys, looking back before his eyes rested on her again.

"It won't take long. Just stay here", he suggested.

Delaney was surprised, not being used to people asking for her company.

"I…I can just call an Uber", she said, pulling out her phone.

"Nah, it won't be long, just a couple minutes, just a check up. Doesn't make sense to go somewhere just to come right back", he said, getting into the car and driving it into the open garage.

Delaney just watched him, not sure what to do. He parked the car inside, getting out and already opening the hood of the car.

Without thinking further, she followed him inside to stand leaning against the wall, observing him.

It was silent, none of them talking, probably because both of them did not know what to say or how to start a conversation. It's her fault too, she ignored everyone, scared of being rejected, but standing here, at a place she used to like hanging out, observing Tony in a comfortable silence, it made her feel somewhat alive, even if it is just for this fraction of a moment.

She missed her friends.

She missed her brother.

She missed her normal.

But lately, nothing was normal, especially thanks to Montgomery fucking de la Cruz.

Delaney gritted her teeth in anger. While she was determined to avoid a specific crowd of people throughout the last year, this jerk made it his mission to piss her off. Montgomery's sudden infatuation with her irritated Delaney. She doesn't know why, but out of nowhere he seemed to have taken an interest in her, despite her obviously hating his guts and insulting him at any given chance.

He would suddenly pop up and try his stupid pick up lines - when she was walking in the hallway, when she was packing her bag after class, when she was trying to study in the library. He would suddenly appear out of thin air, one of his stupid pick up lines ready on his lips.

And worst of all, they got more and more inappropriate and just plain sexual.

"I'll treat you like my homework, slam you on the table and do you all night long"

She seethed remembering that she was just sitting in the library, studying, when all of a sudden he dropped on the seat next to her, leaned close to her and whispered that into her ear.

She was surprised and then majorly pissed off.

'Yeah, as if he is doing his homework!'

And as if him annoying her at school was not enough, he was occupying her mind, wondering why he won't leave her alone.

And just liked that, she kept trying to figure it out again, wasting her time thinking about someone she should not care at all.

"You are good to go", Tony announced all of a sudden.

'Great, I thought about that asshole without even noticing the time passing by.'

She rolled her eyes at herself, before she pushed off the wall walking toward Tony.

He was cleaning his hands on an old cloth, not looking at her.

"Thank you", she said with a tight smile, still not used to the company of someone, "how much do I owe you?"

Tony looked at her with an irritated look.

"Nothing. It didn't even take me 30 minutes", he said.

"Nonsense", Delaney reached for her wallet in the back pocket of her jeans, but before she could even fish out a single dollar, Tony stopped her.

"Seriously, Laney, don't insult me. You're basically family. How long have we known each other?"

Delaney froze. It was weird for her, hearing something so casual and just so nice. She didn't even know how to react.

"Than…Thanks Tony", she mumbled, taking her keys he was holding out to her, ready to escape.

But before she could climb into her car, he stopped her again.

"You know, she was not allowed to use her phone."

Delaney stopped, slowly turning around.

"What?"

"Angie. The school is very strict and they considered her problematic because she was trying to run away from the school. They do not allow using social media or a phone. I can only talk to her when I am at her parents or visit her."

Delaney swallowed, her throat feeling dry all of a sudden. She was anticipating his offer, but she was not ready yet.

"I could take you. Next time when I go visit, if you want to."

He looked at her expectantly, Delaney still not moving.

"I…I don't know if I have time. School and all", she muttered, turning around to get in her car.

"I understand", Tony said just watching her leave.

Delaney pulled out of the garage back on her way home.

A part of her wanted to go see her and pretend that her life doesn't suck for a moment, a big part of her wanted to actually. But she was scared that once she sees Angie that she also will show her the cold shoulder. Maybe she does not deserve normal.

She looked nervously at the clock. Almost over; the last period for today. And right after was the try out for the squad. A try out she said she would participate in, but she does not intend to keep that loose promise.

She played with the pen in her hand, ignoring the teacher trying to wrap up the class.

Would Mr Porter or Coach Loftin be disappointed?

She always liked the Coach, but why should she torture herself by being in the presence of people who obviously dislike her?

Even Sheri, a person she knew for almost her entire life; she couldn't wrap her mind on the latest events. Why did she call her that night? And why does she keep staring at her every time she passes by or every time they share a class?

Why does she try to sit close to her when last year she always chose a seat as far away from her as possible? Now she sits either right in front of her or next to her, if not right next to her, she was still close, too close.

Does she want to talk to her? But why now, after a year of silence? Not that Delaney made any effort to maintain their friendship, but she got used to the idea of having lost her friends as well. Why would she risk re-living that loss again?

A sigh of relief escaped her lips when the school bell rang through the room, everyone packing their bags hastily to leave the classroom.

Delaney was slower, waiting for everyone to leave first so she could sneak out.

'Just leave. Ignore Sheri and the Coach', she told herself, grabbing her bag before she stood up.

When she was about to get out of the door, she stopped dead in her tracks, surprised that her way out was blocked - by a person she completely did not expect to see at all and definitely not here of all places.

"Mum", she said breathlessly, "What are you doing here?"

"I was told that you wanted to get back into the cheer squad."

"What?"

"I am here to make sure you actually try. Not that you won't make it anyways", she said, her eyes cold and strict telling her daughter not to screw this up.

' She can't be serious. She wants to force me back into the squad?'

Monty and his friends were sitting on the bleachers at the back of the gym to observe the annual cheerleading try outs. They were ogling mostly young girls trying desperately to get into the squad and be part of the popular crowd while making fun of their frantic and amateur dance moves.

This year, however, was more entertaining, especially for Monty. Because this year, something no one expected happened. Delaney Atkins showed up for the try outs.

Since she was a former cheerleader, Monty thought she could just join again, but apparently not - and he loved it. He loved observing her and judging her physique just like they do with the freshmen - who apparently do not know what rhythm is.

He knows that she was quite the athlete herself, but for some reason, today she was off, almost as bad as that one freshman who seems to not know how to move her legs and instead just fumbles with the pompoms.

He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees while his eyes are fixated on her.

"Bro, your girl is pretty stiff. Was she always that bad?", he heard Bryce say.

"Nah, she was good. I heard she could've become the captain last year, if she hadn't dropped out", Zach replied.

"How would you know? Are you gossiping with the cheerleaders", Bryce commented and everybody laughed again.

Luckily for Monty, this caused Delaney to turn around, arms still crossed while she was listing to the coach giving them further instructions, just to throw them a nasty glare.

Monty replied with a wink causing her to roll her eyes and turn around to focus on the coach again.

He wasn't blind, he knew that she was stiff because there was an unusual audience in today.

A lady in maybe her early forties was sitting on the front row and observing Delaney very closely while occasionally, in between performances and instructions, walking up to her and whispering into her ear.

She was a beautiful, elegant lady with the same pitch black her, a thin physique similar to a model with slender long legs. Her eyes, however, were cold and her stature tensed. Her whole attire screamed money while she disregarded everyone surrounding her.

"Okay girls, let's see what you got", the coach announced clapping her hands before sitting down stealing Monty's attention from the lady.

The girls one by one try to perform the same routine, most of them being awkward and shy, fully aware that the guys are not only observing, but judging as well.

A smirk graced Monty's lips when it was Delaney's turn.

"Finally, she's up", he muttered causing the guys to laugh.

"Hoping she makes it into the team since you got nowhere with her so far, huh", Luke laughed,

Monty just cut him off with a "Shut up".

She was good, he knew it while he observed her, but she pretended forgetting the moves despite being in rhythm the whole time. And just like that, she slipped, on purpose, and Monty was sure he wasn't the only one who noticed.

Suddenly, the strict lady stood up and walked straight to Delaney, whispering something to her, while she was getting up. The woman basically stormed out followed by the raven haired girl.

"'cuse me guys", Monty hushed, quickly getting up and leaving the gym, intrigued by the interaction that had just unfolded in front of them.

He stopped abruptly at the corner when he heard a smooth, but angry voice.

"Is that really your plan? Stumbling over your own feet so you won't make the team?"

"I'm nervous, I haven't cheered in a long time", he heard Delaney's voice, clearly intimidated by the dominating presence.

"You haven't done a lot lately."

"How would you know mum, you've barely been around", she snapped and the whole situation dawned on Monty. 'Of course she is her mother!'

"If you forgot, me and your dad are busy running the business", she defended herself.

'No wonder she is a bitch. She got it from her mother', he thought, still listening to the conversation.

"Too busy to mourn for your son's death? Did you even remember that it was his anniversary?", Delaney hissed.

Monty leaned slightly forward, peaking around the corner. Delaney was standing there, arms crossed clearly uncomfortable while her mother was towering dangerously in front of her, one hand on her hip.

"You have to get over it and think about your future", her mother hissed.

"Get over it? He was my brother!", Delaney yelled, her voice getting louder by the second, "and your son, god damn it!"

Suddenly, the black haired woman shot her hand out and grabbed Delaney by her upper arm, pulling her toward herself.

"I'm not letting you throw away your future as well, you hear me? You are going back out there and take it seriously. If not you can kiss your future bye-bye and forget about leaving for college. It's either Ivy League or nothing, do you understand?", she hissed at her.

Monty couldn't see Delaney's expression or hear anything since his view of her was blocked by her mother, but she must have been intimidated because the next thing he saw was her letting go of Delaney violently and moving back toward him, closely followed by Delaney.

And her mother got her wish.

Delaney made it into the team,

forced to face her past

while Monty got a glimpse of her reality.