I take full responsibility for this monstrosity. I don't know where the soul cake reference came from, so don't ask. sigh Yes, 'tis short. Yes, 'tis probably really bad. No, I'm not going to apologise for it. Reviews would definately be appreciated!
Disclaimer: As is clearly demonstrated by this piece of crap, I am not capable of the genious required to create Legacy of Kain. I just keep mini versions of some of the characters in my head.
Soul Stripper II: Raz is a Bitch!
"No, no, no!" Abbil screeched loudly at her television set. "Not that way, you idiot!" She viciously twisted the controller she held, punching buttons wildly. "Damn it!" She cursed, tossing the battered hunk of plastic aside in disgust. Enraged, she grabbed the object nearest to her hand and moved to throw it at her Playstation.
"May I ask what you are doing with my cowl?" Raziel asked her, slightly amused. The girl only growled slightly in reply as she tossed it back at the wraith roughly. Muttering angrily under her breath, she picked the controller back up to try again.
"Where do you think you are going, little soul?" The voice of the Elder God boomed out of the speakers ominously, causing both of the room's occupants to shudder. The little Raziel on the screen ran up and up, and 'round and 'round until he finally reached the top of the shaft. Abbil quickly took her hand off the joystick, but little Raz kept going, right off the edge. The girl spun on her emanciated companion, smacking him rudely across the chest. "Why are you such a little bitch!" "A bitch, am I?" The wraith raised the remains of an eyebrow, "How so?" "No matter what I do, you never want to cooperate! I've tried threats, I've tried begging, punishment, sweetness, alone time, constant attention, EVERYTHING! You just don't like me!" Sighing melodramatically, she threw the controller down once more and stormed off to find snackage.
Bored out of his mind, and curious if it really was his miniature self or if it was just Abbil's lack of skill, Raziel picked up the controller. After all, he thought, I DID live it. It shouldn't be too difficult...
TWENTY MINUTES LATER...
"No! Don't go that way, go that way! ARGH!" His previously good mood having degenerated first into frustration, then anger, and rapidly approaching actual rage, Raziel gripped the controller so hard that the fragile plastic was unable to withstand further abuse; it shattered in his claws just as Abbil came back bearing sweets. "I see you decided to give it a shot." She said mildly, brushing electronics fragments from her seat. "Here, I brought you soul cake." She handed him a chunk of oddly glowing dessert, then pulled a spare controller from a box full at her feet and gave it to her morose seatmate. "You seemed to have the mechanics down pat, you just didn't know how to get where you were going. I guess the game is a bit different from what you remember... Here. I'll give you directions, and you steer. After you finish your cake, of course."
The two of them quickly escaped the underworld with the help of each other. Sharing a rare moment of comradery and triumph, they clinked forks in a toast. "Hey, maybe the mini-wraith isn't so bad after all..." Abbil admitted, "Now, jump up on that rock, then the next, then the ledge. Now jump across that way... Good! Now, hop over to that climby wall." Raziel obediently manipulated the joystick, then glared at the screen as little Raz jumped in entirely the wrong direction and ended up back where he started. "Of course," The girl ammended wryly, "I could be wrong..."
