Almost Twelve Roses
Chappie 5: What did you…
Author: Funnyfan
last time
He cursed himself as he moved another step forward, and another, and another. Soon he found himself ready to pounce, to jump into a run and surge forward. He felt his blood quicken in his veins, his heart beating at a faster pace. He felt, good. When was the last time he let himself do this? No, he cursed himself for allowing any enjoyment. But even as he cursed his lack of control, it slowly slipped his grasp and he began to ready himself. He leapt into the air.
Now
Sesshomaru batted some invisible dust off his shoulder. He wanted to growl, again. He still couldn't believe he had lost control like that. The worst was that to get back into control InuYasha had to help. He had to get help from that half demon half wit half brother of his. That made him growl and he didn't care that his father's watchful gaze was still upon him.
After he had leapt he was expecting to find Kagome under him, but instead he found himself on the floor under InuYasha. InuYasha had tackled him before he had even gotten within grabbing distance of Kagome. He wasn't sure if she had seen, and he didn't care, not at the moment. He was still furious that InuYasha had the gall to tackle him. That he even thought he was a match. He turned his gaze towards InuYasha.
InuYasha was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, attempting to interrogate Sesshomaru with his glare. Sesshomaru smirked at him and turned his gaze back to his father.
Taishio stared down at his elder son with shock, confusion, and a whole mess of other emotions. He was still a little confused as to what had happened. He had InuYasha and Sesshomaru both tell their sides, but he was bewildered that both admitted to what Sesshomaru had done.
"Ok, so…let me get this straight." Taishio got up from his desk chair and began to wander the room from Sesshomaru to InuYasha and back again. "You, Sesshomaru, claim to be 'always in control' so, I let you bring our young Kagome here for a while, even though I knew, and you knew that you had work to do. Tons of work to do. Meaning it was doubtful you'd see Ms. Higurashi very much, really at all. But I allowed her to come when you should have been focusing on the business. Do you know why, Sesshomaru, I let you bring Kagome here?" Taishio turned his gaze on Sesshomaru. His once sparkling with mischief eyes were now hard and to the point. He waited a moment for Sesshomaru to answer. When nothing came from Sesshomaru he continued. "I, Sesshomaru, allowed to you to bring Higurashi here because I thought you were 'in control', but from what I hear, you were far from that." He sat down on the front of his desk in front of Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru's expression was that same as always, giving off the same emotion. Nothingness. Taishio hoped his son felt bad that he almost attack the woman he was trying to make fall in love with him.
"You seem to have the story correct thus far father." Sesshomaru remarked coldly. Obviously he wasn't proud of what he did, but was it because he had lost control or was it because he had almost attacked Kagome? Taishio didn't know, and he was afraid to ask.
"Ok, so, you brought the woman you love here, spent very little time with her and than tried to attack her in the hall because she put you in your place?" Taishio clarified again. He wanted to make it sound worse, hoping Sesshomaru would show some sign of guilt. But all he did was get a rise out of InuYasha.
"You dumb ass! You could have blown not only your secret but mine and dad's!" InuYasha shouted, jumping out of his chair. His fists were flying around him and he smelt of nothing but irritation and anger.
"And what, brother dear, is the secret both you and I supposedly share?" Sesshomaru asked, his eyes narrowing in InuYasha's direction. How dare the half breed state such an outrageous comment? Sesshomaru flexed his still extended claws. The half breed would pay.
"That you, dad and me are demons!" InuYasha growled out. Quickly Taishio put in that it was true before the two turned the scolding into a wrestling match where Sesshomaru would undoubtedly embarrass InuYasha and learn nothing.
Sesshomaru was about to make a snide comment on how InuYasha was no where near as high on the scale as a demon when the entire statement sunk in. Kagome didn't know any of them were demons? "Higurashi does not know of our 'secret'?" Sesshomaru stated rather than asked, already knowing the answer already. "When I arrived she already knew of this, why does she not now?" Why hadn't the fools told him earlier?
"She didn't know about that until she was ten." Taishio put in. One year! He had missed by one year? Sesshomaru growled. If there were gods, they were obviously plotting against him.
"Heh, missed it by—?" InuYasha started but stopped when his father gave him a look. Sesshomaru heard the comment, but was still on about the demon secrecy.
"How do we know she doesn't remember?" Sesshomaru asked plainly.
"Feh, she would have said something about my ears by now." InuYasha looked off to the side, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red at the statement he seemed to find embarrassing.
"Why hadn't you told me?" Sesshomaru all but growled out. "Never mind, I doubt your insignificant mind can even comprehend what I just said let alone inform me of Kagome's memories." Sesshomaru's voice cooled down and turned back to its regular emotionless arrogance.
"I thought Kagome liked you enough to tell you her past. I guess she didn't like you as much as you thought, Sesshomaru," InuYasha scoffed at his brother.
"Don't take your anger out on me, InuYasha. You lost your chance with Kagome, you don't get another one. Don't get mad at me because of your stupidity." Sesshomaru turned his back to InuYasha, gave a curt nod towards his father and left the room. He could already feel brain cells dying from being around InuYasha too long.
"You lost your chance a long time ago Sesshomaru." InuYasha's words were just barely a whisper to Sesshomaru now, but he heard them.
I had lost my control then, Sesshomaru walked down the hall, It had just happened, differently. He remembered the first time he lost control like that…
"InuYasha, why lie?" Taishio asked once he had made sure Sesshomaru, and his pesky servant, were no where within hearing range. "Kagome remembered about you being a demon almost as soon as she got here." InuYasha looked at his father and smirked. You lied too.
"Sesshomaru needs to know when to be lenient towards Kagome. And this way, he won't use his 'power' to seduce her or anything."
Or he'll use it to his advantage Taishio added in thought. "Good job ma' boy. Best idea you've ever had. In fact, I believe it's the only." InuYasha beamed as his father left the office.
"Hey! Wait a second!"
Kagome sighed as the nurse walked out of the room. She had been caught out of bed and forced to return. She was still ill and needed rest. Or so the nurse had said. Really, Kagome believed the nurse was an evil alien from planet Noctar, or so InuYasha and her decided when they were little. Those were the good days, the days she remembered.
Kagome sighed in defeat after hearing the nurse outside her room. Apparently the 'nurse' didn't trust Kagome enough to stay in bed and was going to be camping outside her door. Kagome, in a huff, poured her covers over her face, blocking out the light. Even though she felt no tire, she fell asleep.
"I love you, why can't you believe that?"
"Love? You don't even know what love is!"
"I do when it comes to you!"
Kagome wanted to gag. This movie was way too sappy and lame. She glared across the couch, her eyes landing on Sango. She had picked this movie out. It was her fault she was watching this cheesy trash. Why had she agreed to watch this any way? InuYasha didn't want to watch it, Miroku, though he likes the kissing scenes, didn't want to watch and she was sure Sango didn't like it either with the way she kept frowning at every scene.
"Why are we watching this trash?" InuYasha voiced, finally after half way through the video. Kagome turned to look at Sango, as did InuYasha and Miroku.
"Why are you looking at me? I thought it was a parody. The clerk said it was good!" Sango spoke defensively. InuYasha gave her a wry look.
"That lady is over ninety, I don't think she can even read the title." Everyone laughed at InuYasha's joke, excluding InuYasha while he just mumbled a 'feh' and a 'well its true'.
"Half breed, father wishes to speak to you." Everyone turned there heads, stretching to see who it was that had interrupted their fun. Sango and Miroku stared with curious glances towards the new comer while InuYasha stared at the intruder with a hateful expression. Kagome's glance was quick and she soon turned her attention back to the movie, even though she had no interest in it.
"Sesshomaru, what the hell do you want?" InuYasha growled, and Kagome was sure she heard him growl from her spot beside him.
"Did you not just hear me half breed? Father wishes to speak with you. Tear yourself away from your pathetic girlfriend and go see him." Sesshomaru's voice was hard and firm, yet it shook with little emotion. Everyone glance in Kagome's direction, wondering if she cared for either implication.
"We're not dating," Kagome said in a half distanced sort of way. Obviously she found the movie suddenly interesting, and was ignoring everyone else.
"You don't deny your being pathetic?" Sesshomaru questioned, a pinch of curiosity embedded in his words.
"It's your opinion, not mine." Kagome stated, still in her half aware mood.
"Father, InuYasha," Sesshomaru reminded. InuYasha glared cruelly at his brother, glanced wonderingly at Kagome and jumped over the back of the couch.
"Don't bother pausing it for me!" InuYasha shouted and ran down the hall.
Sesshomaru's eyes followed InuYasha run past him and half way down the hall. His gaze turned back to the room of his 'friends'. The two sitting close together were still staring at him. Naturally they would, he was quite famous. He only modeled for a few magazines, but they were the top, and most popular. Of course they would stare at him like he was king. But, there was that other girl, the one watching the movie. She had only glanced at him a moment. No one had merely glanced at him, it just wasn't done. He was far too good looking for someone to just give him a slight glance.
"Girl, do you not know who I am?" Sesshomaru asked, a tone of indifference masking his words. Kagome just slightly comprehended it was her he was talking to.
"Uh, yeah. Sesshomaru, InuYasha's brother." some how the movie had gone from lame to pretty interesting, though still not her first pick, and she felt inclined to watch. Obviously Sesshomaru, not liking the answer or the attention he received, or rather lack there of, left the room.
"Kagome, do you know who that is?" Sango whispered harshly. Kagome slightly nodded.
"A model of some sort."
"Not just a model the model." Miroku corrected, his voice just barely above a whisper.
"Big deal. Models are cheap fakes and why are we whispering?"
… … … … … … … … … …
"I love you."
… … … … … … … … … …
Glancing through the cracks of the door she listened to the words that came from both brothers' mouths. It was a constant blur to Kagome. All she could hear were insults bouncing back and forth like a tennis ball. But the next words she heard were clear as a bell.
"You are far too attached to these humans. I am merely testing to see if even those that deny their 'undying love' for me can actually resist me." Sesshomaru stated. He made it sound as though he was actually doing nothing wrong. Kagome wanted to barge into to the room and slap him, but he continued on. "She is nothing but a guinea pig to me half-breed. She means nothing to me, yet I'm sure she believes otherwise. The pathetic human wench that she is, I'm sure she believes I actually like her, perhaps she'd be stupid enough to go so far as to say I love her." Kagome wanted to cry.
… … … … … … … … … …
"I loved you, I did for a while, but now…I……when you were pretending to be nice because you thought everyone and anyone would fall for you, I think I started to like you. And gradually as the months passed by I began to get used to everything you did. The things you said, the movement of your body, the glimmer in your eyes. As those months went by, I found myself actually falling for you. I cursed myself, but you were different than what InuYasha had said, so I believed what I saw. I found myself addicted to your fake charm, because I thought it was real. I found myself waiting on your every word, because I thought there was a hidden meaning behind them. Every time you gave me a present, I accepted it because I thought you gave them to me because you cared. When you cared for me, I cared back. The only difference was…I was serious. My love for you grew each day. Until…I learnt that the love I thought we shared was really…a one-sided love. And you know, I never thought it was possible for anyone to regret falling in love." She turned her eyes towards Sesshomaru and stared into his eyes. They reflected her sadness and sorrow, the pain and suffering she was feeling. "But Sesshomaru, I regret meeting you. I regret believing you. But most of all, I regret falling in love with you."
… … … … … … … … … …
"I will always love you."
… … … … … … … … … …
Her eyes watered as she watched his lips move. She was too far away to actually hear what he was saying, but she knew all to well. The three girls standing in front of him were smiling and giggling like giddy fools. He was 'charming' them. Flirting, hitting on. He was doing it all. She could tell. It felt like knives were stabbing her heart, tearing it into ribbons. She had actually believed he changed, and she was an idiot to think it. She was stupid to think he actually had feelings for her. She was a fool to believe he wasn't just an arrogant, pompous, foul mouthed, ass. He was just like all the other jack asses out there. She watched as he bowed a kissed one of the girls' hands. Kagome's anger was replaced with sorrow again. He had never done something that extravagant for her before. So, even then, he hadn't treated her the same way he would have with any other girl. He had treated her like a guinea pig, only doing things he had to for the 'experiment', nothing more, nothing less. And that hurt her more than anything. She knew it was true, she heard him say it, but for some reason she only half believed it. She didn't think that everything they had done together was all an act. She had thought there were some moments they had together that were true bliss. But now, she could see that she only saw that because that's all she wanted to see. Her truths became her lies and her lies grew into her truths. But, what hurt more than being used as an experiment, what hurt most, that weighed out all the other pain, was that she had actually fallen in love with the fool. She felt as though her heart had been ripped out and stomped on. Crushed and tossed away. That's how she felt. Crushed and tossed away, like trash.
… … … … … … … … … …
"You want me to believe that!" Kagome screamed. "Do you think after all those things you did that I'd just fall into your arms?" tears streamed down her cheeks. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair! It just wasn't fair! Why did he have to keep messing with her like this?
"And why wouldn't you?" Kagome's eyes widened but narrowed quickly. She whipped her hand against his cheek.
"I gave you my heart once, and you gave it back. I gave you my heart twice, and you gave it back. I gave you my heart thrice, and I warned you that it was fragile, yet, you still dropped it and watched as it shattered into tiny pieces." Kagome's eyes softened a bit, her anger less apparent as pain and sorrow took over. "Just like my love for you. Shattered into millions of pieces." Kagome turned away, tears still swimming down her face. She reached for the door but his hand shot out and grabbed it.
"Than I'll get the glue and we can put it back together." Kagome wouldn't, couldn't, look into his eyes. She kept her gaze down at the ground, tears plopping against the carpet as they fell. She shook her head.
"There's no such thing as reattaching an already cut rope. And there's no way I'd ever let you handle my heart again Sesshomaru. Even if it's already broken, it will never be the same. And that means, even if you help me put it back together, I will never fall in love with you again." She snatched her hand from him and quickly opened the door, non-to-gently closing it as she left.
… … … … … … … … … …
"My love for you grows each day."
… … … … … … … … … …
"I love you. I always will love you. And even though you can never love me back, I want to be by your side because being away from you means I'm not living my life to the fullest. I feel like I'm in heaven when I'm with you and hell when I'm not. And I don't want to be away from you another second."
Shaking her head she smiled. "You've already moved on Sesshomaru. So have I. I've got new friends, and so do you. We've got different jobs. Live in separate parts of the city and have new lives. It's done. I've got a new boyfriend, you met him, and you've got a new fiancé." She smiled at him again. "It's time we went our separate ways, again. Live our lives. Maybe one day, we'll meet again. Good bye Sesshomaru." With that, she waved and disappeared.
… … … … … … … … … …
"Get away from her, you piece of shit!" he swung his fist and the other guy flew back.
"Hojo! Are you ok!" she ran to his side and helped him sit up.
"What the hell is your problem?" Hojo shouted. Gently he shifted, moving Kagome out of the way so he could stand up. "Are you that in love with her?" he wiped his mouth, a red smear smudged into his jacket sleeve.
"You've no right to say a thing." Sesshomaru stated indifferently.
"Kagome, do you love this guy?" Hojo asked.
"I…"
"Come on Kagome, you need to make this clear, now. Answer the question. If you don't answer, he's not gonna give up. He'll keep bothering you, and you won't get any peace." Hojo fell back as Sesshomaru hit him again.
"Shut up!" Sesshomaru growled.
"I…"
"Come on Kagome! It's now or never!" Hojo wiped the blood from his mouth again.
"No. I don't love him. If anything, being around you is suffocating. You always act so high and mighty and it makes me feel inferior. No, if anything I want to be away from you…" Kagome looked away as she felt her eyes spark up with fresh tears.
… … … … … … … … … …
"My heart belongs to you."
… … … … … … … … … …
"I can't marry someone I don't love. Not any more. Before I met you, love meant nothing to me. Marriage meant nothing to me. And since you left I've felt empty. I tried to fill that emptiness with marriage. I knew you would never marry me, and so I chose her. I had hoped she would fill the gap you left. But, she didn't even make a dent. And I refuse to live my life any other way, with out you."
"You made your choice a long time ago Sesshomaru. You can't change your mind whenever you want. That's not how the world works."
"And what about you? How many times did you press your love on me? How many times did you make me think about you? Why was it that you got to choose when we would decide whether we wanted to be together or not?"
Smiling up at him she said, "I gave up so much of my life so you would notice me. I offered you my love so many times, I'd lost count. I didn't shower you with my love just once. I did it everyday. You held my heart a time to many Sesshomaru. You had more chances than most people have in a lifetime. Every time I tried to love you, you'd push me away. The last time, you pushed me to far away, and I'm not coming back."
… … … … … … … … … …
"Your thinking about him again." Kagome's he shot to the direction of her office door. Sango stood there looking smug.
"Who?"
"Sesshomaru of course."
"Sango, I've told you already. Me and Sesshomaru have gone our separate ways." Kagome turned her attention back to her computer's screen.
"Tomorrow's Valentines Day you know." Kagome absently nodded her head. "I wonder what he's getting you this year…"
… … … … … … … … … …
"There's no such thing as falling out of love."
… … … … … … … … … …
"Shut up you idiot!" InuYasha shouted. Kagome glared at him.
"Let me out InuYasha! I have to go to work! If I'm late I'll get fired!" Kagome shouted and tried to jump past InuYasha again.
"No! Now shut up and listen! They aren't going to fire you!" InuYasha growled as he held Kagome back from the door. Quickly he swung her onto his shoulder and away from the door. "Now sit down and listen!" He threw her onto the couch.
"Oww, InuYasha." Kagome whined. InuYasha sent her a glare that told her to shut up.
"I don't like my brother, not even a little bit. You know that." He looked at Kagome to make sure she was listening. She nodded her head. "But, he's my brother. I'm supposed to look out for him. You're my friend. I care about you a lot and I try to look out for you."
"Where are you going with this InuYasha?" Kagome asked, glancing down at her watch.
"My brother loves you. He always did. Being the stubborn ass that he is, he wouldn't admit to it. And when you didn't visibly fall for his 'charm' he gave up and tried to move on. He still loves you."
"InuYasha, your brother doesn't love me. I was just an experiment, remember!" Kagome didn't like this. She was trying to forget those things. It had been years since she had seen Sesshomaru, in person.
"Exactly, you were an experiment. Instead of you falling in love with him, he fell in love with you."
"Why are you telling me this now? It's been three years InuYasha."
"We all wanted to do something. Help in some sort of way. We thought the first year was just the two of being stubborn. We were stupid to have waited that long. In the second year, we had thought you'd both moved on. We were wrong. When ever we were around you, you always had this glaze over your eyes. You were always thinking about him. Then we started to meddle. We tried convinced Sesshomaru to buy gifts, but his pride wouldn't allow it. So we did it. We'd send you gifts from Sesshomaru every month."
"You WHAT!" Kagome screamed and jumped up. InuYasha pushed her back on the couch.
"We'd never seen you so happy. You had that skip back in your step again. Your eyes twinkled."
"What are you getting at InuYasha? Just spit it out already."
"You love my brother. You love Sesshomaru."
… … … … … … … … … …
"Forgive me…"
… … … … … … … … … …
"Forgive you…? For what?" Kagome mumbled.
"Miss Kagome. Miss Kagome." Kagome moved a bit and slowly cracked her eyes open. Where was she? Who was talking to her? Lifting her head up she look around. Oh, that's right. She was in Taishio's home. She glanced over to her side and saw her nurse looking at her worriedly. "You were having bad dreams Miss Kagome." Kagome absently nodded and mumbled a thanks before the nurse waddled out of the room shouting for her kit.
Funny, she didn't remember having a bad dream. She could only absently remember InuYasha, Sango, Miroku and some other person that seemed to be a blurred shadow. Was this another memory? It's not as though this were the first time she had remembered something through a dream. Though some of them were some what, odd. Like when she had a dream about being in her kitchen and playing memory with utensils and plates. But this one didn't seem like a memory. It was hazed and she couldn't remember most of it. Normally when would remember the entire 'dream'. But, she could even recognize a bunch of the people, and half the words in her dream were all jumbled together now.
Had it been a dream, or a memory?
"Don't be an idiot Sesshomaru!" InuYasha growled.
"You, brother, are the foolish one. Now move out of my way." Sesshomaru spoke threateningly.
"And where are you going to go if I do?" InuYasha questioned, obviously either not noticing or not caring about the threat etched into Sesshomaru's voice. Sango and Miroku stood in front of the only doors in the room. The only exits.
"That is none of your business half-breed." Sesshomaru pushed InuYasha aside and made for the door Sango guarded. "Move human, before I make you." Sango stared at him defiantly. He let out a breath most would classify as a sigh and rose his hand. What his hand hit was not the girl's face but a broom, held by Miroku.
"Don't you dare lay a hand on her." Miroku warned, showing no sign or worry or regret that he was risking very violent harm upon himself.
"What are you doing human?" Sesshomaru growled irritably.
"You should know Sesshomaru." InuYasha grumbled as he got off the ground.
"This is how I show my love towards the only woman I will ever love." Miroku announced.
"And this is how we show our love for our friend." Sango continued, still standing defiantly by the door.
"And this is how I leave." Sesshomaru was at the other door before the two could even blink, and so was InuYasha.
"I don't think so Sesshomaru." Sesshomaru growled at InuYasha.
"What do you want from me half-breed?" Sesshomaru bit out.
"To hear you say that you care for her." Miroku said.
"That you cherish her." Sango added.
"That you love her." InuYasha finished.
"What are you babbling on about now?" Sesshomaru growled his claws retracting and lengthening.
"For someone who claims to be so intelligent Sesshomaru, you sure are slow." InuYasha mocked. Sesshomaru couldn't hold back anymore. Growling he swung his fist at InuYasha with all the speed and force her could muster. InuYasha laughed as he caught his brother's fist. "Do you know why you couldn't hit me?" InuYasha asked. "You know were right."
"You know you love Kagome. So admit it!"
"He can't. He's far to childish."
"What a coward!"
"How pathetic!"
"And he's heir to Taishio Inc. What a disappointment!"
"He can't even tell someone how he feels!"
"How can he expect to run a company?"
"What a weakling!"
"He's already messed up his chances!"
"If he can't hold onto a girl, what makes him think he can hold on to the company!"
"Idiot!"
"Fool!"
"Heartless!"
"Stop it!" Sesshomaru shouted as he bolted up in his bed. Gasping for air he left his bed. He was soaked in sweat. He cursed himself. How could he remember that from so long ago? How could a memory like that, turn into a nightmare. He didn't have nightmares. He wasn't afraid of anything. But those voices. They taunted him so easily. But, were they true? No, he had won Kagome over. Even through all those things that had happened he had won her heart back. It had taken many years last time, but this time, she would be his sooner than before. This time, it would be easier. This time, even if some of his plans didn't work, there was always the way he had done it last time. It had worked hadn't it? Yes, that plan had worked perfectly.
End of Chappie 5
