Tohru's Demons

Chapter Eighteen: The Infernal Brothers


"So... this is the castle?" Kyo said doubtfully, looking up at the parapet of unsteady spires, worn out walls, tottering turrets, stained stones, cracked casements, and anomalous archways. From what he had been expecting, this was a bit... anti-climatic.

"Yeah, this is it..." Tohru sighed. "It's... it almost seems like it's a lot worse from the last time I was here..."

"He really needs to get himself a repairman," Artemis snorted, surveying the wreck above them. The castle was sitting square in the middle of a valley, surrounded by mountains, on the edge of a shimmering lake. As they had gotten closer to the castle, the terrain had gotten increasingly rougher. Long, jagged trenches had torn up the ground, as if a gigantic creature had run its talons through the earth like a cat sharpening its claws, which they had to detour, which got tedious after a while.

Meanwhile, Tohru and Artemis had been kept busy all day with the constant appearance of the local demons. All of them, every single one, were in some state of drunkenness. The lower demons seemed to be the worst off, they would come in out of nowhere, hardly knowing or caring where they were, talking nonsense, singing obscene songs, and pretty much acting outrageously.

Artemis had finally lost it when one of the demons started hitting on him and Tohru and Yuki ended up having to hold him back from tearing the creature apart. All in all, it had been a very taxing ride, not to mention that Haru had turned Black three consecutive times and tried to attack Artemis, and Kyo was not far from generating a Black personality himself. He and Haru now both hated Artemis with a passion, and showed it.

"Well, let's go up and assess the damage," Tohru said wearily. "Pol, thank you for your help. We wouldn't have found it if it weren't for you."

"No prob'em... my pleashure..." muttered the fairy as he stared dazedly at Tohru from his seat on her horse's head. A second later he had toppled off and Tohru had to dive to catch him. She set him gently on a rock out of the way.

"I'm surprised we even got here, he looks drunker than yesterday," Yuki murmured

"Yeah... Pol, would you just stay here for a while, until your head clears up? It's dangerous to drink and fly, you know."

"'kay..." replied the fairy. "If ya ever need mah 'elp agin, don' 'esitate ta call me."

"We won't," Tohru said with a kind smile, sliding off her horse and leading it towards a one-man wide trail that wound its way down into the valley. Yuki slid down off his own horse and followed her, the other Sohmas not far behind.

An hour and three and a half quarters later they were standing before the decrepit castle's front door. Tohru grasped the iron knocker in both hands, lifted it up, and slammed it down again. A metallic boom echoed throughout the fortress. They waited for a minute, and when no one answered the door, Artemis shoved it open and walked in. The foyer was in a lot better shape than Tohru had expected. Except for a slight layer of dust, everything was in perfect order. For some reason, she had expected the place to be a wreck.

"Lucifer?" she called out. "Lucifer...? Malacodaaaa!"

"Ren?"

Tohru looked up at the girl standing at the top of the staircase and the first genuine smile she'd had in many days lit up her face.

"Val," she breathed. "Hi." Val's answer was to let out a joyous yell, fly down the stairs, and fling her arms around Tohru's neck.

"It's about time you showed up!" she cried, while Tohru gasped for air.

"If you keep that up she'll suffocate," Artemis stated calmly. Val pulled away from Tohru to give her some air and eyed the demon with mock haughtiness.

"I see you haven't changed," she said seriously.

"Neither have you," Artemis replied severely. Val held her stoic expression for a second more before her face cracked into a grin and she hugged Artemis as well. The demon looked incredibly put out but he tolerated it for a moment before shoving her away. Tohru laughed quietly, smiling like an idiot for a moment before realizing the Sohmas were still there.

"Oh! Introductions!" Tohru gasped. "This is Valery Halla, or Val. I believe we mentioned this earlier, but she's in charge of reconnaissance and the like. Val, these—"

"Actually, Ren, could we do introductions later...?" Val asked sheepishly. When Tohru looked confused, she hurriedly explained. "Look, there's a sort of... problem."

"Problem?" Artemis repeated. "What sort of problem?"

"No one's hurt, are they?" Tohru gasped anxiously.

"No! Nothing like that! It's just that... Lucifer and Malacoda... are very, very, very inebriated..."

"Of course... I knew something like that had happened, what with all the demons around here acting like they'd lost their minds..." Artemis growled wearily.

"Is getting drunk some sort of new fad among demons?" Shigure asked. Artemis shot him a warning look and he stared back innocently, but decided it was better for his health not to comment further.

"Where are they?" Tohru asked.

"Come on, I'll show you," Val said, leading her, Artemis, and Jyuunishi, plus Kyo, back up the stairs and down several hallways.

Shigure was not sure of what to expect when Val opened a door and led them into a spacious room with only a table and two chairs and countless empty bottles littering the floor. Two men were seated in those chairs and were laughing their heads off for no apparent reason at all. It was a few moments before the younger looking of the two spotted them, got a hold of himself, climbed heavily to his feet, staggered towards them, and seized Akito's shoulders in an iron-like grip.

"I am the alpha male... It is now time to mate..." the man said very slowly while he gazed deeply into the Head Sohma's eyes with the utmost of seriousness before Akito promptly threw him into a wall.

"What was that...?" Akito hissed, his eyes snapping, his voice dropping to twenty million degrees Kelvin. The Sohmas stared blankly at Akito, frozen in place by shock, otherwise they would have quickly exited the room for the Head Sohma's sudden 180 degree turn. Up until then, he had been surprisingly tolerant, and almost pleasant. Now he looked like he was ready to go to war on the world, or more likely, one of his cousins. Even Artemis seemed a bit uneasy and had settled automatically into defense-mode.

In fact, the only one in the room, that was not inebriated of course, that was totally oblivious to the charge in the air was Val. She stepped lightly past Akito to look over the dazed man and let out an admiring whistle before turning to face Akito with a cheery smile.

"Well done!" she congratulated. "Who are you, anyway?"

At first Akito didn't seem to register what she had said, so for a moment he just stared at her in incredulousness, while the Zodiac members looked on in shell-shocked trepidation.

"Akito. Sohma Akito." He said finally, relaxing slightly. The other Sohmas let out repressed sighs of relief upon feeling the tension in the air ease up a bit.

"Well, Akito, you really nailed him... Course, someone had to do it. Pity it wasn't me." Val said casually as Tohru slipped past her to pull the man to his feet and help him to a chair.

"Malacoda? Can you hear me?" she asked, waving a hand in front of his face. The man, presumably Malacoda, stared uncomprehendingly at her before recognition clicked and he smiled widely.

"Ren!" he said loudly. "There you are, we were just talking about you! Yes, you are there and talking about you we were!"

"How many bottles have you had...?" Tohru asked, looking around the room.

"About a hundred... A hundred we have had... each..."

"Each?!" squeaked Tohru. "But... It doesn't look like there're two hundred bottles here..."

"I think they threw some out the window..." Val said.

"Why didn't you stop them?" Artemis demanded.

"I've been busy!" Val cried defensively. "I haven't even been here for the past week!"

"They were left alone for an entire week?!" Artemis howled. "You realize that with Lucifer drunk, the entire populace of the demons here were also out of commission? All the higher demons have left, and all the lower ones are acting like they're brains have melted! An Angel could have snuck in and wiped them all out, and no one would have been able to do a damn thing about it!"

"Well, don't yell at me! It's not my fault those two decided to have a few drinks!"

"A few drinks?! How about a few hundred?!"

"Artemis..." Tohru said wearily, holding up her hands in a calming gesture. "It's no use yelling at her, it wasn't her fault they temporarily lost their sanity or anything that resembled reason... What bothers me, is why they decided to do this in the first place... I can understand Malacoda, but Lucifer..." she trailed off, looking at the other man that was currently passed out face down on the table, his hand still holding a half-empty bottle of rum. Malacoda reached over and took it from him and started to gulp it down.

"Oh, no you don't. No more alcohol for you." Val said, speaking as if the demon were a child spoiling his dinner with cookies. Then she began to gather up the remaining bottles and dump them out the window.

"No! No, not good! Not good!" Malacoda cried, lurching to his feet to stop Val, but he was too intoxicated to see straight, much less walk the three feet of distance to reach her in order to do anything of any importance.

"I'm afraid it's for your own good," Val told him mercilessly.

"No, it's not good! The rum—!"

"Yes, Malacoda, the rum is gone. Or it will be in a moment."

"Est pourquoi le bizarre allé?!" Malacoda demanded, so furious that he switched languages.

"Because it apparently dissolves any capacity to think or act rationally... or at least that is what I'm told."

"Mais est pourquoi le bizarre allé...?"

"Come on," Tohru said wearily, turning away and motioning for the Sohmas to leave. "I'll show you to your rooms..."

To be continued...


Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, nor do I own Pirates of the Caribbean; Curse of the Black Pearl. Heh. Heh, heh. Heh, heh, heh. Heheheheh. Hehahahaha! Hahahahaha!!! Muahahahahahaaaaa! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Translations:

French

Est pourquoi le bizarre allé – Why is the rum gone

Mais est pourquoi le bizarre allé – But why is the rum gone


You may notice that the lines spoken in French by Malacoda are those taken from Pirates of the Caribbean. That is my favorite line of all time, from my favorite movie of all time, so I knew I had to work it in somewhere, as an expression of awe in the presence of such esteemed writers as Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio. I also thought it would be cool to have it in French.

Let's see, things will begin to pick up from here. Momiji will meet Millie next chapter, but after that I have no idea. Any suggestions would be wonderful! Also more reviews. I can't believe I've actually got a hundred, or almost, so far! It's unbelievable how many people liked this story, so thank you so very much! You've all been great and patient and supportive!

Unfortunately, with school starting up soon, I won't be able to update as much as I'd like... Also, I have scholarships to write out and those, sadly, are priority. So I'll try to write as much as possible now, kay?

Tchau! (That's Portuguese for 'bye')

-Raha-