A/N: I cannot believe how many of you thought I was going to use the Room of Requirement as a place to behold some dirty James/Lily scene! ADFKHAKFLHADF. They've been going out for a week! A week! And, as Vicki said, it would totally ruin the story. Totally. So yeah. Contest winners at the bottom!
When we last left Lily
:

Walking forward, James reaches for the doorknob…

… and pulls the door open (which shouldn't be that surprising, considering it was the doorknob he was reaching for).

And… OH MY GAWD!

Just kidding.

I can't actually see anything; James is kind of blocking my view, but apparently he hasn't noticed, because he's just turned around, smiling, and said, "Well?"

"I can't see anything, you twit," I say, pushing past him and rolling my eyes. "Oh my gawd," I whisper, amazed. "James--- what is this?"

James comes up behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "I told you," he says quietly, and I turn around, seeing his eyes shining in the light, "it's the Room of Requirement. It can turn into anything you want."

James steps in front of me, and offers me his hand. "Shall we?" he asks, grinning.

"We can walk in here? We won't fall?" I ask suspiciously.

"Of course not," says James, and he leads me inside the room.

This is the most surreal thing I have ever encountered in my life. Ever. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. I could continue saying ever for--- ever--- you know, but I don't think I will, just to save my sanity.

But really, if I knew an hour ago that I'd be standing in some room that looked like it held the contents of the entire outer space inside of it… I wouldn't have believed it.

Looking around, I see what looks like Mars off to my left, a shooting star going by beneath James and my feet, and the moon directly overhead. I've always loved astronomy…The only thing that reveals that we're not actually standing in the middle of outer space is the small, white door that we came through directly behind us.

"James," I breathe, "this is… amazing."

I turn to James, and see that he's positively beaming at me. "This is just the beginning, my dear," he says, leading me over to a candlelit table that I swear wasn't there five seconds ago.

"Now where's that house elf?" mutters James.

Out of nowhere comes trotting a hideously ancient elf that looks freakishly familiar.

OH MY GAWD.

Is that?

"Pubert?" I ask, spinning around to get a better look at… it?

"At your service, Madam," says Pubert in a deep, hoarse voice, which is really weird, because I've never heard a house elf talk in anything deeper than a low soprano.

"Don't you remember Pubert from our excursion to the kitchens, Lily?" says James, sounding like he's holding back a laugh.

"Distinctively," I say. "Where's Lilykins?" I ask, remembering the disturbing name of the more house elf-ish like house elf from our kitchen jaunt.

"Oh, I thought I'd let it just be us and Pubert tonight," says James, "because I knew he was your… favorite… from last time." He grinned evilly at me.

More like he would be my favorite choice if I wanted an award winning monster for some horror movie, but whatever.

"How… kind… of you," I say.

"My pleasure," says James, with his evil grin. "So, dear Lily, what is it that you wish to feast upon tonight?"

"Hmm… maybe something… festive?" I say. Is festive the right word to describe a food that would have something to do with being in outer space, when you're currently under the illusion that you are?

"Certainly," says James, though sounding doubtful that there was anything festive for this particular atmosphere. "What did you have in mind?"

Hmm. Good question. Okay. What has anything to do with outer space… outer space, outer space… looking around, I see some funky looking thing that looks like an upside-down triangle… uhmm… BLADDER!

"BLADDER!" I say suddenly.

"Bladder?" asks James and Pubert.

"Yeah!" I say enthusiastically. "Like that triangular thing out there!" I point to the triangle thingy.

"Oh," says James bemusedly, cocking his head to the side. "What does that have to do with a bladder?"

"Well, isn't that what shape a bladder is?" I say, in an air of explaining that one plus one, indeed, equals two.

"Pubert means no disrespect, but would like to mention that a bladder is not very triangular," said Pubert hoarsely.

Oh come on, like he would know better than me.

James and I turn to stare at Pubert, at which he says, "Let me show miss." With a snap, a my plate is now holding some weird, gooey… thing.

"So that's a bladder," says James in an interested voice. Boys… so disgusting.

"Uhh, yeah, and it's on my plate!" I half-shout. Bladder! On my plate! My PLATE!

Pubert snaps his fingers, and the bladder disappears. But I am not using that plate.

"No offense, Lily," starts James, "but that really didn't look anything like that triangular shaped… thing."

"I guess," I say, disgusted at having been wrong. I was sure a bladder was triangular! Dang it. I turn to explain this to James, because he must know. "Well, I always pictured the bladder as this triangular shaped object, with the texture similar to an onion," I say knowledgably, sounding very professional.

James and Pubert turn to stare at me with their mouths open.

What?

OH!

"In navy blue," I add earnestly.

They're still staring at me. Oh come on, that wasn't that insane. I had to have gotten that idea from somewhere, I mean navy triangular onion textured objects don't just pop into one's mind out of nowhere.

"But what does that have to do with an onion?" says James finally.

Uhm.

"What's for dinner?" I ask Pubert, casually picking up my formerly-containing-a-BLADDER plate, and switching it with James's nice, clean, shiny, never-once-came-in-contact-with-a-bladder plate.

"What are you doing?" asks James suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing," I say nonchalantly. "What's for dinner?"

James looks at me calculatingly, then slowly says, "I was thinking spaghetti. Eliza told Sirius that it was your favorite."

"Brilliant!" I say. I love spaghetti! Eliza sure is good, I'll give her that.

"Right away, then, Pubert," says James, nodding to the house elf. Pubert nods back, and then disappears with a snap of his fingers.

"So," says James, "did you like my choice of dining?"

"Yes!" I say, looking enthusiastically around at our surroundings. "I've always loved astronomy."

James grins. "I know," he says… knowingly.

Wait. What? "How?" I ask hurtfully. First that Pubert freaks me out, then the spaghetti, now the stars… DOES HE KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME! IT'S LIKE I CAN'T HAVE ANY SECRETS ANYMORE!

Catching my contorted face, James grins. "Eliza told me."

Damn you, Eliza. Damn you. See if I tell YOU any of my secrets anymore (I won't, by the way (never, ever, ever!)).

I look grumpily around at the solar system which I previously enjoyed. It's just not as cool when everyone knows that you like it… I wonder why. Instead, I set to the task of pondering where in the world my idea of a bladder came from. Hmm…

I gaze back at the table, catching James flattening the table cloth. Odd… bladder, bladder, navy…

"Dinner is served," says Pubert, reappearing with a GIANORMOUS platter of spaghetti. I eagerly dig in to the spaghetti, dolloping a… well proportioned amount onto my plate. James looks surprised, then, shrugging, helps himself to some spaghetti.

Bladder, bladder, onion…

I take a bite, and, chewing slowly, I turn to look at James. He's staring at me. Really carefully. This cannot be good. Gulping my food down carefully, I say, "What?"

James smiles. "Oh, nothing," he says casually, turning to his own plate.

WHAT GODDAMNIT!

"James."

"Nothing!" he says, laughing.

"TELL ME NOW OR I WILL CURSE YOU INTO MARS!"

"Well, actually, that's impossible, because we're just---"

"James," I say warningly.

James smiles. "Oh, all right," he says. "If you're sure you want to know, that is. I doubt you'll like it."

"Knowing you, prankster extraordinaire, probably not. BUT TELL ME!"

James laughs. "All right! Iswitchedourplateswhileyouweren'tlooking," he says very quickly.

"Erm--- what?" I ask.

He smiles evilly. "I switched our plates back."

YOU! YOU! I JUST DIGESTED BLADDER!

"You… you… switched… our---" I splutter.

Wait. HANG ON.

Switched… switched… bladder…

Comprehension dawns on my face. "Professor Titchy," I say quietly."

James makes a face. "That's an odd name."

"No," I say, "it was Titchy who taught us that bladders were navy! Professor Titchy, from grade two!"

"Oh," says James, looking confused (which looks utterly adorable on him, by the way). "So?"

"So," I say. "It means I'm not completely insane!"

"Oh," says James, still looking puzzled. "Spaghetti?"

A/N: Dun dun dun. This is kind of… uhmm… there's some information that I'm not really sure if I need to tell you guys or not, so I guess I won't. But I'll give you this: some of you might be confused right now, so if you are, then good, you probably should be, but STAY TUNED. And if you're not and have no idea what I'm talking about… then… erm… never mind. It'll all be sorted out in the next chapter. ANYWAY. This chapter's really long! Like five pages! I'm amazing, I know.

My guilt trip really got people to review last time! It wasn't really meant to be a guilt trip, though; it just kind of ended up that way. Speaking of which,

All you other hundreds of viewers have to review now! It's your turn! OR I'LL CRY! Haha just kidding… but really, review


Reviews for chapters 11 and 12:
thatwasthelasttheyeversawofher--- Mwahaha. It will be ending soon enough, but I've got a new story idea for, like, as soon as this one's over, so don't worry! And yes, haha, it was just the voice in Lily's head. Elven-jewel-18--- Thanks! I actually don't know what the whoosing noise was… it was just a space filler; it's never really going to fill a purpose or anything. But props to you for noticing it! Emmanuelle Liselle Grey--- Haha thanks! I don't think there are any bells at Hogwarts… at least I don't remember… but yep, personal touch, haha. Keep reading! Briee--- Yep, real life situations… they probably were funny, depending on which end you were on… more traumatic than anything for me, though, haha. Glad you like the story! I'm really enjoying yours, too. SuperSpy--- I'm glad you like it! Your review meant a lot to me, considering I'm like completely in LOVE with your stories. Keep reading! Maria Cachucha--- Haha, perfectly fine, I'm just glad you're enjoying the story! Good luck with school! Vicki--- AKFHAKFDHLADFLHAFDH. Of course not! But I agree, it does ruin a story. I hate it when a scene like that is placed in some super well-written fic. Chuito--- Bleh. I don't understand why people want to write stories like that… but I guess if it's suits them, then they should go for it? Haha.

Thanks also to aurora-sakura, the all might and powerfulMhurleygurlwaterdreamerthe-oh-so-perfect-witch, .v.i.k.s.beckus for reviewing! If I forgot anyway, then I am terribly sorry, and you're welcome to leave me angry reviews telling me how horrible I am.

Contest Winners!
Briee was half right… it was a candlelit dinner… But the winner isssssssssss…. elven-jewel-18! It was dinner, and it was romantic… ish… and it was moonlight! Because they were in space! Hahahaha. Okay yeah. But congrats to elven-jewel-18 for being a good guesser!

REVIEW!