Chapter 20: I Never
James entered the Black Pearl's cabin, and took a seat. Jack had summoned him, because they had an idea. Seated at the table were Jack, James, John, Will, Gibbs, Ulysses, AnaMaria and Elizabeth. On the table were 8 bottles of rum.
"So what's this grand idea of yours, Jack?" It was after dark, so formalities were left at the door.
"I think we know too little about each other." At a look from AnaMaria, he acknowledged, "There's a lot that I know, but that everyone else doesn't. And as Admiral of this fleet, I'm ordering all of you to engage in a game of "I Never."
"I Never?"
"A game from the Americas. A drinking game. You say "I Never", and finish the sentence. If it's something you did, you drink; if not, you don't."
"For example," Ulysses turned to Elizabeth and Ana, "I never kissed a man. Now you two drink, 'cause I know you've kissed a man." The two drank, smiling. "We just go 'round in a circle. So, Ana, yer next."
AnaMaria thought a moment, and then said, "I never been to England." Everyone else but her and Ulysses drank. "Your turn, James."
He said smiling, "I never kissed a woman."
"Are you serious?" Ana stared at him.
He shrugged. "Don't see me drinking, do you?" He looked around the table. Jack, Will, and John drank. Then, after a moment, AnaMaria drank. James smirked. "I knew it."
She shrugged it off. "What a girl'll do for a ship."
Gibbs said, "I never quit the Navy." James and Ulysses drank.
Will, next in line, countered, "I never joined the Navy." James, Ulysses, John and Gibbs drank.
Elizabeth said, "I never owned a ship." James, Ulysses, Jack, Will and Ana drank.
John said, "I never been in love," smiling at Will and Elizabeth. They drank, as did Ana.
Jack said, "I never lied to 8 people about being in love." John drank.
Then Ulysses smiled. "I never had a one-night stand." Jack and John looked at one another, than turned up their rum. "Bottoms up, sailors." John stopped, but Jack continued. "Gotta drink for each one, don't I?" At a look from Gibbs, he stopped.
AnaMaria said, "I never lied." They all drank at that. "John, what'd you lie about?"
"Not so much lying as deceiving." He flipped up the eyepatch to reveal a perfectly good eye. "Just thought it made me look more dashing." He smirked, flipping the thing back down. He was right-he did look better with it.
James smiled, "I never drank rum with 7 pirates."
Gibbs said, "I never drunk with Navy men." Gibbs, James and Ulysses drank.
Will: "I never married a pirate because I thought he was the most handsome, dashing, cunning rogue in the Caribbean-second only to Jack Sparrow." Elizabeth drank.
"Up to that last bit, I thought I'd have to hurt you, mate," Jack grinned at Will.
"Elizabeth?" John looked at her.
She paused, then turned to a darker subject. She knew something about Depp, and decided to get him over it. "I never hid in the Arctic for 10 years because I couldn't handle rejection." Depp glared at her, and then drank.
"I never lied about my name because I thought that it would save my life." She drank as she looked unblinkingly at Depp.
Jack hesitated. "I never betrayed another man for a ship." John, Gibbs and AnaMaria drank.
Parker: "I never tried to get myself killed so it wouldn't be called suicide." Ana and James drank.
Ana was grim. "I never slept with someone to just get something I needed, information or pleasure." Depp drank, and so did Parker, and, after a moment, Sparrow.
James looked at their faces. "I never killed a man just because he deserved it." All stared sadly at him, then joined him in drinking long and hard-none were innocent, and had done more than their share. James looked down. "Well, I guess we do all have something in common."
That was the end of that.
Later, Ana was on the deck of the Britannia, staring out into the bay. She thought about what she had admitted to earlier; trying to get herself killed.
FLASHBACK
AnaMaria was in tears. She was in the Fort Charles office, hidden in shadows. On the desk in front of her was a scribbled note from Captain Gillette.
"Killed pirate today. Was of African descent. Was able to interrogate in last moments. Said name was Aramis. Was looking for pirate called AnaMaria. Said to tell her he was sorry. Man had apple scar engraved in his shoulder."
She'd been unable to read the rest. She'd broken down and cried. Aramis, her brother was dead, and she'd never forgiven him.
At that instant, she wanted to die. Her pistol had no shot nor did she have any powder on her. She totally threw them away for her mission-to spring Joshamee, scale the Fort Charles cliff down to a boat, and return to the Pearl. She no longer cared about it.
What she did care about was dying. She wouldn't kill herself-no, she couldn't be remembered like that. She'd go down in a blaze of glory. She'd attack a marine, then get them to shoot her. Simple.
But she messed it up.
Thing went according to plan. The Marine investigated the sobs coming from the office when he branched off from his patrol group. She lunged out screaming and tackled him, inadvertently snapping his neck. Well, no matter. She ran in front of the group of soldiers, waiting to be shot.
In what were to be her last moments, she felt free. No regrets, no worries, no fear-just release.
Then someone came down from the fort wall and tackled her, driving her to the ground.
She was crying uncontrollably. She wanted to resist, to be shot, but she had no energy and no will left. She just sobbed as Norrington fastened irons to her wrists, and led her below to the cells.
END FLASHBACK
Now as then, she didn't sense James coming until he was there. "You alright, Ana?" He looked down at his fellow pirate to see she held back tears.
"No." She was quiet, but James persisted.
"You...you're remembering, aren't you? Remembering."
She finally tuned and placed her head in his ragged coat's chest, done with the illusion of strength and hostility for a brief moment. James knew the shell would be off for only so long, so he held her, and recalled how he tried to die.
FLASHBACK
James Norrington was at the end of his rope. He felt no will to continue with this life as he stood on the upper balcony of Fort Charles.
Earlier, he had gone to a social function, only as decorum demanded. But he'd seen too much. There had been one woman he had become interested in, and intended to advance tonight when he left the main party to look for her in the back halls.
In her haste, she had left her bedroom door open, and she was visible to be with a man.
He had built himself up around the idea of approaching this woman, how his dismal life would improve with companionship.
Denied that, he wandered back to the fort, looking for ways to die. He could not bear to kill himself, but perhaps to be killed...
Then he saw deliverance. AnaMaria, a well-known, blood-thirsty pirate was running past beneath him, and it would be easy to make a flying lunge for her and miss. Or for her to attack him when he hit her and be killed.
So he jumped. Plan 'A' failed immediately as he hit his mark dead on, knocking Ana to the ground. Plan 'B' then failed when she apparently ran out of energy and did not strike out. Bemused, he called for irons as he rolled her over.
To reveal she was broken. Her spirit was gone, it seemed. She was crying miserably, and in that instant, he realized she wanted death as much as he did. But in that, he saw the futility of dying prematurely.
What was to be gained from killing himself? His problems were so simple now, and could easily be fixed, he saw. As he escorted AnaMaria below, he realized that suicide is foolish. To kill oneself is just foolishness because there is always something there that can save one, if only one looks for it.
So, he decided, as the cell door locked behind him as he went back upstairs, he would continue on.
He could never kill himself because, Heaven or Hell, neither was the sea, and he did not wish to leave it.
END FLASHBACK
So as he held Ana, he looked at the dawn approaching in the east, and knew today would be better.
I'm coming for my apples, Jack.
Meanwhile, down the way, Jack Sparrow awoke with a start. The voice...so familiar...
I cannot speak of suicide without delving into my own nature, but if any among you are going to commit suicide, or even thinking about it, please, reach out to someone. Anyone will do; family works, but they never forget it. Believe me when I say that your friends, your true friends, will always be there to catch you when you fall, and they can help you through anything. And they forgive and forget far better than anyone else. If you cannot reach out to friends or family, go to a support group or go to a site online. People are very supportive, even if they don't know you. But please, if you do think about it, get help somehow.
Life throws a lot at you, but suicide is never the answer.
Yes, I stole a LOT of that from LOST, but can ya blame me? The show ROCKS, especially that particular episode. And for the movie nut, I did base a lot of John Depp's character on Izzy from "The Mummy Returns." The lawsuits just keep piling up, damn it all.
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