Ttile: No One Likes Me
Author: Dana-chan (blackharu2)
Pairing(s): None really. Smidgens of LeeSaku, NejiLee, and LeeGaara. Oh, and a little LeeFOC, I guess...
NOTES: Hope you like! I was just bored one day and thought "Hey! How come I see all these LeeGaara fanfics but they always leave out the point that Lee's so direct with his feelings?" So, I wrote Lee's POV on this sort of matter, giving some scenes of other pairins. Just trying to please. X3

I've seemed to just make a new discovery. Even though it really isn't considered new, seeing as I've dwelled on this more often than not, but it seems more new than old. Well, of course it's not old, I haven't thought about it that long. Still, it's been clouded my brain and plaguing my thoughts for the good part of this month and the one before. And the thing is, it's not a very good thought. And that thought would be:

No one likes me.

That exact sentence has been floating through my head for so long, yet such a short while. Of course, it isn't worded perfectly, but the main point gets across quite nicely. It's not that nobody like me. Just not in that way. You know, the way you like a crush, "like like" in other terms. No one ever held that sort of like, or love if you want to go to that extreme, towards me. Especially the ones I really wanted to.

Take for instance Sakura-san. She's beautiful and intelligent, and an all-together great kunoichi. She's brave and wild, yet kind and warm-hearted. Sakura is utterly amazing and I could just swear it was true love at first sight. But when I blew her my best kiss, meaning the one I worked on the most and perfected, she looked so disgusted and refused it.

That hurt. A lot. Of course, I didn't let anyone see that. I mean, really, I should've been used to rejection by then, seeing as how many girls gave me that sort of reaction. Maybe I came on too strong or something, but they normally just ranted about my "horrible" fashion or bushy eyebrows. And most of the time, when I get that sort of answer, I stopped liking them all together. If someone likes another for looks then they can never truly see the person and they're just not worth it. Or so I thought.

However, even when Team Seven's kunoichi (and most wonderful kunoichi in Konoha-gakure) gave me that same reply I dreaded, I still couldn't give up on her. I saw how she treated others and her smile was simply gorgeous. I could never turn away from such a person and I just had to keep striving for her love. Was that really so much to ask? For her to at least like me in return? I guess so.

Still, I was used to this sort of thing. I had liked a lot of girls. Ones in my ninja academy classes, which would also exclaim harsh things about my hairdo or eyebrows. Occasionally they would bring up the worst subject, in my opinion, which was my fighting technique. Just because a person couldn't do ninjutsu didn't mean they couldn't be a ninja. I only knew taijutsu, albeit not a lot at that time, and I made it a goal to show everyone that. If I could be a ninja, which I am now, ninjutsu wasn't fully needed, just advised to know. Of course it is the majority of being a ninja, but one didn't completely need it to be a shinobi.

After I have proven my strengths and became a Konoha leaf-nin, I thought I was sure to become slightly popular with the ladies. I had a crush on one of the girls in my class, who incidently didn't become a ninja herself, and confessed to her. And she still insulted my skills and, of course, my eyebrows. I had often asked myself why I always seemed to like the shallow girls, but dismissed such a thought.

Then I met Gai-sensei, and I forgot about girls for a while (not Sakura-san however). He taught me the coolest things and acknowledged my dream and even tried to help. And, under Gai-sensei's leadership, I slowly grew out of my fancy of girls. They just didn't seem appealing anymore and that frightened me at first. I frantically tried to like them again, staring for prolonged times at their curvy bodies, but it didn't interest me. I thought something majorly wrong.

And the worst part, in my opinion, was a friendship was created with me by Sakura. She was one of my true friends and I could barely believe it at first. I wished to jump up and down, smiling and being giddy, however, it wasn't really that big of a deal anymore. I didn't like her like that anymore, she just seemed like such a close friend, or maybe even a sister. Which is what she turned into (the close friend), and I found myself cursing my changing of sexual preferences.

From there on things just got worse and worse. Not liking Sakura was a sin itself, let alone turning my back on that love for a newly created puppy love for my teammate. And I'm not talking about Tenten. I had started to like Neji, my supposed rival yet close friend, and I approached it differently for some reason. I guess I actually wanted him to like me back and had finally figured out the direct-direct approach wasn't working. Either that or it was just different because of the gender. I never really figured that part out.

Eventually, whether fortunately or unfortunately, Neji found out and I was once again rejected. Thankfully, he wasn't as harsh as the others, including Sakura, and gave a simply "I'm sorry" and that was all. After that he walked away and life was supposed to magically go back to normal. It didn't though, of course not. I wouldn't look at him or talk to him or anything like that for a few days. No matter how gently he put me down, it still hurt so much.

Soon enough, our lives went back to normal, or as close to normal as they could possibly get and I closed my heart off as much as possible. If no one was ever going to love me back, or even feel that way towards me, it wasn't worth it. And I convinced myself with that, repeating in my head over and over that love wasn't all that I made it out to be. And if it was, I would never be graced with such a pure and harmonic thing in my life. No one felt for me that way and I would just have to deal with that. I'm a shinobi anyways, I'd probably die before I even found that special person, if I even had one to begin with.

Then suddenly, I got another crush out of no where. It was like how it happened with Sakura-san, yet completely opposite. Even after I did my best to stop my emotions, I just couldn't do that. I could never be stoic like Neji or unemotional like Sasuke. I had emotions and I pretty much wore them on my sleeve like Naruto. However, I always tried to cover my negative emotions. No use bothering others over my stupid thoughts or feelings. If they really wanted to know, they would ask. But they never did, except for Gai-sensei, but he's more of a father, he's supposed to care.

Still, I feel into another puppr love with the most unlikely person, yet it wasn't really puppy love. It felt so real, but I knew nothing of him to really be in love. But then why did it seem like I knew all I needed to know to fall head over heels for him. And oddly, ever since before our very first match, I had thought about him and found myself intrigued by him. Even after our first fight, where he caused me so much harm and risked me my whole dream and even my life, I still "loved" him. Oddly enough, he even seemed to interest me more.

I find myself thinking about him during the periods of time I don't see him, which was more often than not. Seeing as he doesn't live in Konoha I seldomly see him, which confuses me even more. How can I liked someone like him, first off? He's unemotional and a murderer; he's not the nicest person and has mental issues. But deep down, he seemed like a good person, I guess that's what draws me to him is how much he reminds me of a lost child. And even though I'm not a shallow person and can simply like someone for just them, I have to admit he has a great body. His auburn hair frames his face perfectly and his green eyes are always sharp and narrowed. The black rings around his eyes add more oomph to his face and the "love" symbol on his forehead matches him wonderfully. I can never help but wonder why that kanji's even there.

He "saved" me from Kimimaro, whether or not he was ordered to, and we talked after he won. Thankfully, the other died during the fight, or else we both might've lost. No matter how strong I think he is, everyone has their limits and he had already past his. So when we sat down in the shade, regaining a small amount of strength, I felt just a little closer to him. At the end of the conversation I think I understood him just a tad more. Maybe I don't know everything abut him, but that would be asking to much right now. I'm pleased to know what I do, no matter how much more I want.

Then, on our next meeting (not really meeting, normally we just bump into each other), my life cme crashing down. I never was on at keeping secrets, and eventually they would slip out and unfortunately, I had to tell my deepest, darkest one to him. I told him I love him (yes, love, I still believe I do). I don't know how it slipped out so easily, but I bet my facial expressions showed everything I was feeling then. Fear, hope, passion, love, caring, worry, anticipitation, anxiety, anger, sorrow, hurt, and so many more. But even after it was said, the only thing I really cared about was his answer. Would he reject me for my looks or let me down nicely, because surely he could never like, or love, me like that. That was definately wishing for too much.

"I love only myself," he stated, arms crossed over his chest arrogantly and eyes narrowed like usual. He was looking straight at me, nonexistent eyebrows knotted in a glare. However, I knew this wasn't a real glare, it was just the one he used on everyone and the look he normally wore on his face. I longed to see him at least smile once, but I understood that that would never happen. And even if Gaara ever smiled, it would never be directed at me.

Swallowing the rather large lump in my throat, I averted my gaze to anything but him. I stared at the ground, my shoes, the bushes behind him, the sky. Anything, just not him. "I'm... I'm sorry," I silently thanked the Heavens for letting my voice stay even. If it had cracked I probably would've felt even more embarrassment than I did now. Which would be saying something. I was actually pretty surprised that I wasn't blushing right now.

Not exactly knowing what to do and not expecting an answer, I turned on my heel and began to walk away. I inwardly pleaded that he would stop me somehow and tell me he harbored some feelings for me. But, as I was already ten paces away, he did nothing of the sort and I felt hot tears threatening to fall. However, I was and will always be a man and a shinobi and we never cry on a mission and I considered this to be a mission. Suddenly, I just stopped my walking, head falling forward as my hair created a curtain for my eyes. My hands were fisted by my sides, trembling. And still tears tried to fall, but I wouldn't let them. I gulped and blinked a few times, sniffing as well before doing a 180 degree turn to face Gaara. I opened my eyes, ready to let everything out, even if I cried in front of him or anything like that.

And Gaara had left.

Just like I said before. No one likes me and I have come to face this conclusion. And no matter how much it hurts me to like someone and have them reject me so easily, I still continue to like another. I guess I can't help it, but for some weird reason, I still "love" Gaara. I haven't forgotten about him and I haven't had a crush as big as this. It has been a week since I last saw him and I find myself wishing to at least see him again. However, I doubt that will ever happen and even if he does show up in the Leaf Village, he would never want to see me.

Then I heard a knock at my door and wondered who that could possibly be. Checking the clock I noticed it was eleven o'clock at night and I thought about who the person at the door was. It wouldn't be one of my teammates, we were all told to get some rest and even though Tenten and Neji don't particularly like Gai-sensei, they still listen to him. Thankfully I was awake right now or else the one waiting outside would be waiting for a very long time, as I tend to be a deep sleeper.

Picking up a kunai on the way, I walked to my front door. My parents were both gone again, which wasn't very unusual. Me and them normally have different mission times and barely get to see each other. But I don't mind too much, I don't really get aong with my parents and I rather dislike their company. Of course, I am a gentleman and never actually spoke such a thing, but it always seemed to gnaw at me. Cautiously, I opened the door just a crack to see who was out so late and my eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. There, standing on my doormat was the person plaguing my every thought. I opened the door farther, my shock evident on my face.

"Gaara-kun?" I asked, the diselief settling in. This had to be a dream, why else would Gaara be here - at my house? I didn't even know he knew where it was, let alone that he would actually knock on the door to talk with me, or something like that.

"Lee," he replied. I just love how my name rolls off his tongue. How the "l" sounds more like a "d" and how he almost drawls the long "ee" out. Oh, geez, it just sounds too much like music to me. "Why?" Why? Why what? What kind of question is that? He could've woken me up at an ungodly hour for meetings just to ask why? If I didn't think so much of him I would've been slightly irrated. But, somehow, I could only let myself be confused at the question, not in the least bit angry.

Somehow, he seemed to know what I was thinking, either that or I'm really easy to read. His normally harsh look seemed to melt and a somewhat softer gaze settled in its place. His eyes weren't slits and although his arms were still folded over his chest, they looked less tense. Overall he seemed more relax with my presense, which pleased me so much.

"Why did you say you loved me?" he asked, straight to the point and tone even. I evnied him for being able to do that, but then I realized I had other things to worry about. I didn't have any idea how to answer that. And I didn't think I could ever have an answer to that specific quesiton. Instead, I opted for an action, because I was told they speak louder than words. Leaning down, slow enough for him to turn away, I closed my eyes, aiming for a peck on the lips. A weak sand barrier blocked his onward movement, but - being the taijutsu master I am and it being the weak barrier it was - I was able to plant a small kiss on his lips. He looked utterly shocked, however, I felt accomplished and I knew that kiss could last me a while.

After I had leaned backwards, one of his hands flew to his face and gingerly touched his lips. Normally, he wouldn't show any emotion, but seeing this side of him I fell in "love" with him all over again. Of course, Gaara didn't return the feelings and I doubt he ever will, however, it was nice to see a change every now and again. Suddenly, his sharp gaze caught my eyes and I found myself unable to look away, so I stared straight back at him. I searched for any negative emotion and - thankfully - didn't find any. Apparently, no words needed to be said as he once again just walked away. But this time I knew I would see him again, he just couldn't handle this sort of thing right now, and I was more than willing to wait however long for him.

Still, no one likes me (back), but maybe that'll change soon. Only if I'm lucky.

END

NOTES: OMG! That was HARD! Stupid Lee and his diary-ish writing. XD Ha ha! Well, anyways. Hope that was enjoyable. I put a smidgen of NejiLee and GaaraLee in there, even some SakuLee. Wow, I normally would've NEVER done that. Guess I'm in a good mood! (Maybe because I'm getting SHOTS! Yay!) Anyways... Glad you read it, and this, now REVIEW!