AN: No notes today kids. R&R if you please.

The Pygmalion Effect
Chapter 5

--

Rikuo let the anger wash over him. It felt so fucking good to smash that mirror and see all the sparkling shards fall to his feet and into the sink. Some went down the drain with a tinkling sound. When Rikuo looked up at his handiwork, all he saw was a fractured version of himself. He was letting himself love Kazahaya. His pain is my pain kind of deal or something melodramatic like that.

A man walked into the hospital restroom and took one glance at Rikuo and skirted to the nearest stall. So maybe Rikuo should have waited to vent at home. He didn't care where he was though. The anger, no matter how strong it was, was fading despite Rikuo's attempt to hold it tightly. Reflective shards told him that nothing lasted forever, but right now, he wanted to keep this feeling closer than any other emotion because it was useful. It let his conscious be free. He could safely hurt this way; he could be vulnerable in this vicious facade.

Earlier, he'd done something stupid. Impulsive more than stupid, really. Those two suspicious boys from the waiting room had walked down the hall with warranted caution, a caution that proved futile when their interest in Kazahaya's room was discovered by both Rikuo and Saiga. Kakei was alone with Kazahaya, his doctor, and two detectives. Being the fatherly figure, Kakei ordered his friends out for the inevitable. Rikuo remembered the look of confusion on Kazahaya's face as he looked to his friend for some warning of what was to come. The poor boy already felt it.

Acting like guards, Saiga and Rikuo lurked around the closed door silently, no need for conversation.

And there they were, the two boys, caught in Rikuo's line of vision as they rounded a corner. They stopped in their tracks like prey catching wind of a predator hiding in the brush. Saiga felt the tension too late and wasn't able to catch Rikuo before he rushed one of the boys and pinned him against the wall. No nurses, no doctors. How convenient.

"Hiroshi!" the other boy called out. Saiga put his hand on Rikuo's shoulder to calm him.

"Come on man, let him go."

"You were here earlier," Rikuo growled. His eyes became dark and focused and bored into Hiroshi's very core. "What did you do to Kazahaya?"

"I didn't do anything!" The boy was shaking in Rikuo's grasp. "We were just at the party—"

Rikuo asked, "Did you hurt him?" Each word was punctuated by sorrow and anger, anger so powerful that Rikuo felt himself loose control. First it was a just a thought, then a feeling, then a rupture, like an aneurysm in the brain, so focused on Hiroshi and the space around him. Rikuo didn't feel it at first, but he felt the subtle rumble and crack of his heart that radiated out of him and into the ground below his feet, and like a vibration, it rippled down, down, down into the foundation of the hospital and to the soft soil of the earth. Saiga gripped Rikuo's shoulder harder and pulled him away from Hiroshi.

"You're going to collapse the building," Saiga warned as he pulled Rikuo farther from the target of his anger. Rikuo glanced down and saw the tiles of the hospital floor cracked in a spreading pattern from where he stood. The energy spawned from his anger was something he had never been able to produce before. This was not snapping beams or breaking locks with his mind. A gang of nurses happened to walk around the corner and down the hall just then, frightfully whispering, "Did you feel that, felt like a small earthquake...look at the floor!" They gasped at the cracks in the floor and continued on their way. No doubt they would call maintenance to fix the damage.

Hiroshi looked guilty. Neither he nor his friend was aware that Rikuo's mind, if let loose, could have burst their internal organs like popping water filled balloons. Saiga warned the two boys with his intense, sunglasses covered glare.

"The police have already talked to us!" The lighter hair boy confessed suddenly. "We didn't hurt Kazahaya. I swear."

"Maybe you boys should just go." Saiga nodded his head in the direction of the exit. Hiroshi cast a hateful glare at Rikuo as his friend urged him away. Whatever that look meant, Rikuo took it happily, for he felt the same.

--

Rikuo watched Kazahaya sweep the floor of Green Drugstore after hours as he straightened shelves for the next business day. Nothing was more annoying than people taking products and misplacing them. Sometimes an item would end up several aisles away. Rikuo understood. People picked up impulse buys, carried them around the store, lost interest, and stuck them somewhere else never thinking that it caused a little chaos for an employee. It was nice to let his mind wander on tangents like that, but every time Kazahaya came floating back into his mind...with a broom.

"Could you move, Rikuo?" Rikuo had been staring at the shelf for a minute and hadn't noticed Kazahaya with his broom. He stepped aside and let the boy sweep up little bits of dirt and molecules. Really, the floor wasn't that dirty. It was just a job and Kazahaya did it without complaint. He too needed something to keep his mind occupied. As Kazahaya made his way down the aisle, Rikuo said suddenly, "Do you want to..." He stopped, now unsure of his request.

Kazahaya looked at him dully. Rikuo hated that face. It was drained of life. It wasn't Kaza.

Rikuo sighed, "Let's go out after we close shop."

Kazahaya's face lightened. "Go out? Why?"

Rikuo shrugged. "I dunno. Eat. Are you hungry?"

"I'm starving."

"I'll pay too."

Kazahaya said curtly, "I can pay for myself."

Rikuo's mouth twitched aggravated, then, it twisted into a sly smirk. "Okay, fine. We'll just eat at home if you want to be so difficult."

Kazahaya's mouth dropped slightly. "I didn't mean—"

Rikuo sighed then offered a little smile. "I didn't mean it either. We can still go out." Kazahaya nodded and continued sweeping. When they closed the shop and finally went out into the dying summer night, the atmosphere between them was still cold. The unspoken hung over them like the moon. It cast shadows everywhere. It had only been a week since Kazahaya's release from the hospital, but the wounds were still fresh.

"How's your head?" Rikuo asked as they walked to the nearest cafe.

"Still a little sore."

"Are you...okay?"

"Yes, I said it's only a little sore. The doctor gave me some painkillers."

Rikuo decided not to press the matter further. Of course that's not what I'm really asking Kaza, Rikuo thought. I want to know what's going on in that brain of yours.

They eventually reached a little street cafe that sold excellent noodles. People were enjoying the late evening atmosphere which offered the barest of sunlight. The street lamps began to flicker on with an intense golden glow as it became darker and a light, dusky breeze fluttered through Kazahaya's hair as he swallowed a hot noodle. Rikuo couldn't help but smile at the obvious cuteness of everything Kazahaya was doing at the moment, yet the moment itself was stained with uncertainty and an unspoken sin. Kazahaya fidgeted at the table, his eyes flickering under heavy lids and focused on some point to his left. Rikuo tried to follow his gaze but only saw bushes.

"What are you looking at?" Kazahaya jumped at being caught. He tried to cover himself with a light nervous laugh. "Nothing," he said. "Just...thinking."

"About what?" Rikuo took a huge bite of his noodles. Kazahaya almost smiled. Something about that, the nervous laugh, the slight uplifting of his lips to make cute dimples appear on his cheeks, the way he sat, removed, distant, yet leaning slightly towards Rikuo's body, a blush that was barely visible in the near darkness...it could have pushed Rikuo over the thin barrier of decorum if they weren't in so public a place. Desire would have made him drop his noodles and sweep Kazahaya into an embrace, maybe kiss him.

He would like to kiss him.

"Let's go back to the apartment," Rikuo suggested. He stood and began to move away, to lead Kazahaya from the table before he protested, or began to...

"Wha—but it's so nice out, and we just got here!" Kazahaya jumped up from the table and walked beside Rikuo. "Let's go to the park." He pointed in the direction which had occupied his mind. "Remember the park where that shape shifting cat was?"

"Yeah. What's so great about the park?"

"Nothing," Kazahaya said softly. He looked at the sidewalk meekly. "It's just...it's where I want to go, that's all."

Kazahaya looked up quickly and flashed a sweet smile that melted Rikuo's heart.

"Never mind then, let's go home. It was a stupid idea anyway."

"It's not a stupid idea, Kaza. We can go if you want."

"No, really, it's okay. I thought that maybe I could see something..." Kazahaya's voice became dark as it trailed off into silence. Rikuo understood, he could read between the lines. Where that soft smile had made him think that Kazahaya was forgetting, it was gone and replaced by something else. Rikuo's features darkened and he glowered down at Kazahaya, who seemed to shrink under the glare.

Rikuo said in a low whisper, "We're going home. Now." Rikuo grabbed Kazahaya's arm and roughly dragged him to the apartment. It was a blur for Kazahaya, but when he finally realized that he did not appreciate how he had just been handled, he ranted about how mean Rikuo was and why was it his business anyway and other such nonsense. Finally he said, "And why couldn't we just go to the park? It's just a park! We never get to do anything I want to do. Maybe I wanted to play on the damn swings!"

"You wanted to have a vision of the rape, Kazahaya." Rikuo said the words bluntly.

Kazahaya recoiled from Rikuo.

"We all know you went to the park after you left the store that day. You met those boys there and they took you to the party. What did you think you were going to do, follow a trail to the bed where that fucking bastard raped you?" Rikuo didn't mean to point at Kazahaya accusingly.

Anger filled Kazahaya's voice and he slapped Rikuo's hand away. "Yes I was and so what?"

"I won't let you—" Kazahaya pulled back his hand and hit Rikuo's cheek as hard as he could.

"You're such as bastard, Rikuo." A single tear slid down his white cheek.

Rikuo finished his sentence, "I won't let you get hurt again. I can't let us start like this, Kaza."

Kazahaya shuddered with sobs and blurring tears clouded Rikuo's strong form.

He choked on his words. "You don't want to be with me." Rikuo reached out, but Kazahaya reacted like a cat backed in a corner. How typical, Rikuo thought. The boy was running away from his problems and Rikuo's help. He didn't need help. He was beyond help. All he wanted now was some sense of closure in this stupid reality and no one was giving it to him. His mind suddenly swirled with every image that could hurt him. Rikuo making love to him in a vision, mixed with the unfamiliar sensation of rape, hatred at everyone…these things mixed hurt him more than anything. Why couldn't they understand? Why can't I see? The floor under his feet melted and gave way, his vision went greyish and blue. Something was familiar about the way he suddenly felt. It felt like flying.

Trying to focus only hurt, so he let himself go.

His brain finally said, "Hey, wake up!" Kazahaya's eyes fluttered open and he found himself lying in Rikuo's bed.

"Rikuo?" Kazahaya's vision cleared. Rikuo wasn't in the room. A bad headache swept over him and he was unable to sit up. He let his head sink into Rikuo's soft pillows. Funny, he could smell Rikuo even though he wasn't even sure what Rikuo smelled like. Glazed irises, darkish green...brown? Eyelids slipped over them slowly but not completely. Kazahaya could see the murky world of Rikuo's room through his dark eyelashes. Everything looked gauzy. This bed felt foreign, yet it accepted Kazahaya bodily. The sheets were sucking him into a warm cocoon with Rikuo's smells smothering every inch of his body.

I can't…don't want to move, Kazahaya thought sleepily. I wish this bed would swallow me up. Rikuo, where are you? No…this…this is a vision. I can see it now. There is that strange veil of warm light. I'm parting it like a curtain. I can see you now, Rikuo…are we…making love?

Yes, Rikuo answered. Kazahaya felt his own nakedness but did not feel ashamed as Rikuo touched him. It was only a vision. Rikuo had been thinking about him again and even more so since the rape. Funny how any kind of sex, perverse or no, could make anyone involuntarily think of fucking around. Kazahaya gritted his teeth and took the painful intercourse again. He closed his eyes against the vision and tried to think of something else. This was too painful. He didn't want to see Rikuo like this right now.

He cried in the vision.

Vision Rikuo finally faded from Kazahaya's inner eye.

His physical eyes awakened and showed Kazahaya that he was still in Rikuo's bed, only this time the bed allowed him to leave. Sometimes strong psychic presences tended to suck one in. Kazahaya slid off the bed with wobbly legs and walked to the kitchen. Rikuo was at the table reading a paper. The clock said it was one in the morning. He looked up from whatever he was reading and said wearily, "Do you know you've been asleep for about an hour?"

Kazahaya couldn't believe Rikuo's blasé attitude. "You…STOP THINKING ABOUT ME!" Kazahaya stuck his fingers in his hair and pulled the strands taut in wadded fists of frustration. "CAN'T YOU GO ONE DAMN SECOND! HUH!"

"What are you—"

"It's all over your bed Rikuo." Kazahaya laughed nervously. "You were screwing me…again! Everything I touch. I can't touch anything anymore! Why? What's wrong with you Rikuo? Why do you still want me after what's happened?" Kazahaya's fingers fell out of his hair. Rikuo got up from the table. The newspaper slipped from his hands and scattered on the floor. He took Kazahaya's shoulders and said softly, "You smiled today. I haven't seen you smile in a long time. I missed it."

Confusion silenced Kaza.

Rikuo ran his through Kazahaya's soft hair. He twirled the strands around his fingers and made little trails in his scalp. It was a touch much gentler than what Kazahaya had just done. Rikuo came closer pressed the little body tightly to his own. The proximity caused warmth to pass like wildfire from one to another. Each hot breath, escaping with each huff of Kazahay's open mouth assaulted Rikuo's senses, and once again he was losing control because of his desire. He said, "Do you understand what I mean when I said I didn't want us to start this way?" Kazahaya's brows knotted in thought. "No…I don—"

"Kazahaya." The boy looked up to see Rikuo leaning over him. A weight pressed onto his abdomen. Rikuo had slid his arms around Kazahaya's tiny waist like a trap, for he couldn't move…not that he wanted to. He said Rikuo's name, and his response was a pair of lips hovering over his own. The cool rush of air from Rikuo's nostrils made Kazahaya quiver more than the touch of his entire body.

The lips, pink and full…he could already taste them.

Kazahaya moaned, quite involuntarily. Rikuo pressed himself harder to squeeze out another passionate sound. This time the moan was deep and opened his lips deliciously.

Rikuo murmured, "I want you more than anything I've ever wanted."

That want pushed Rikuo forward and sent his lips to Kazahaya's. The sensation parted his victim's virgin lips further, and Rikuo let loose a long lap of his tongue in Kazahaya's mouth. The touch deepened and his tongue went farther, freeing passionate moans trapped within Kazahaya's throat. Crying and desirous sounds filled Rikuo's ears. He pulled back and suckled the lips until they were wet.

He wanted Kazahaya to lick his lips and taste only him.

Only him. No rape. No stupid visions.

Rikuo saturated Kazahaya's mind with lusty thoughts. Visions that had once seemed so real were supplanted by self-made fantasies and wild desires. Arousal hit the boy hard, and quite literally. Rikuo had him against a wall and was pressing his hips into his own swelling and throbbing craving.

"Rikuo," he panted after a long kiss. "Rikuo…" His lips had taken his neck roughly.

Rikuo halted his nips and breathed against Kazahaya's moist neck. "Kaza...I can't stand the thought of you lost in that vision. Don't put yourself there, please..."

Kazahaya gave a sharp gasp when Rikuo's hands slid up his shirt and massaged the creamy skin. They came forward and moved up and down his chest while his lips doted on his neck and chin nad every silky inch between. Rikuo knew he could manuever Kazahaya to his bed and crush him under his own body. They could both have relief from this terrible pain. Rikuo decided then. He led Kazahaya to his bed and laid him on the sheets. The boy lay there quite still. His mind was pushing back all the visions he'd had of Rikuo. There was no comparison here. This was much, much better. Kazahaya was turned on more than he'd thought humanly possible. His arousal had hardened painfully and he longed for release. It was the same release Rikuo had planned, and as he lay between Kazahya's legs, he already imagined what it would feel like to be inside his body and touch his nakedness. It wasn't a stupid fantasy anymore. Kazahaya was making it real.

Rikuo was surprised when Kazahaya wrapped his legs around his waist and held on tight.

"Kaza?"

"Can we...just...sleep?"

"Sleep? You don't want to...you know?"

"No. Yes, I mean, but I'm so tired right now." Rikuo looked into Kazahaya's eyes. He was tired. The whites of his eyes were a little red and his skin was paler than usual.

"I've had too many visions," Kazahaya said. He blushed. "I'm sorry I hit you."

Rikuo smiled and managed to lay on his side with Kazahaya's legs still entwined with his.

"I deserved it." Rikuo kissed Kazahaya's forehead quickly and laid his chin over his head. He wrapped his arms around Kaza and felt his little body fall asleep. Rikuo wasn't far behind. Lost in a sweet dream, and long after they had both fallen asleep, Rikuo was jerked from sleep for no particular reason...maybe his brain needed to be reminded that he wasn't alone in the bed, but Rikuo had no trouble falling asleep again. Kazahaya was, indeed, the best pillow and the warmest blanket anyone could ever hope to have.

His delicate breathing was the sweetest lullaby.

When he woke up the next morning, a fear entered his mind. He feared that the night had been meaningless in its passion. He feared that Kazahaya would run away from this, but when he woke up and saw Rikuo lying next to him with his arms still around his body, he didn't run. He smiled.

"Morning," Rikuo said.

"Hi," Kazahaya said with a slight giggle. Rikuo caught that little laugh with a deep morning kiss.

They began their usual routine with a shower and breakfast. "I don't want to work today," Kazahaya said afterwards with a tiny frown. He was distracted by Rikuo and kissing and an unfathomable desire to crawl into his body and soul. He hadn't felt this way since Rikuo's addictive chocolate had filled him with craving.

As they both worked that day, neither could know what the other was thinking.

They could always imagine.

Problem was…

Things aren't always what they seem, and feelings are hard to let go.


tbc