A/n: Hello all you fantastic people! It's me again, updating, again. Sorry this is probably SOOOO late but my beta-er is presently away in Japan (lucky duck /glares at her/) I was SUPPOSED to get it in by Tuesday but lucky me a telephone pole broke and knocked down another telephone pole RIGHT in front of our house. And lo and behold! There was no electricity. And we couldn't drive outside because there were telephone wires everywhere. Wonderful. And I'm working as a museum docent so I have no inspiration. This chapter is chock-a-block with everything I wanted. It really should have been 2 chapters but ya know...Thank you everyone who reviewed! I'm sorry i cannot put your names up right now/bows/ your names will appear in the next chapter! GOMEN!
I am also sorry that the bars on this wouldn't show up. You'll have to deal with my terrible breaks.../grovel/ forgive me...
Warnings: NOT a fluffy lovey dovey romance where they suddenly discover their feelings, Shounen-ai, violence, language, implied rape etc etc etc.
And in the fury of this darkest hour I will be your light
–Winterborn by Cruxshadows
Chapter 3
I wake up to the sound of birds tittering and leaves rustling. Ugh, can't they shut up for one second and let me sleep? I make shapes with shadows on the ceiling. I've never had the trouble Yuki has, of taking his time to wake up. I'm usually up and about as soon as my eyes open. Oh well, there's always more firsts.
I stretch my arms over my head and wince slightly at the twinge of pain that ran down my arm during that action. I turn myself slightly and I spot something white out of the corner of my eye. I turn around properly.
The white 'thing' turns out to be a notes. Some of those sticky notes things are stuck to my bedside table. I snatch the first one up and get my eyes to focus long enough to decipher the words on the page.
Told Tohru and Shigure you were sick.
Tohru has work today and Shigure is visiting the main house.
Food is in fridge.
Don't forget to change the bandages
Don't do anything stupid.
I laugh slightly. Bastard. Shigure visiting the main house must mean he's visiting Hatori and Akito. I wonder why Yuki didn't write that. Oh well. I'll bother him when he gets back. Wait. Does he have some student council meeting today? I wrack my brain, but I can't remember what days he has that. Guess I wasn't listening. Whatever.
I get up, stretching my legs and back, and go around my room trying to find clothes to wear. I haven't put anything properly away in ages. I pick from what I think is the clean pile. Jesus, how can Tohru figure out what's dirty when she does the laundry? I stack all the supposedly clean clothes I've found into my arms and trudge off to the bathroom.
I take a quick shower, changing the bandages on my hand and arm. I look long enough at the mirror to see that some of my ribs are showing. They hurt to touch. I don't remember what it feels like to be hungry, but I think I am now.
Walking into the kitchen I see there is another note stuck to the fridge. I walk closer and recognize Tohru's handwriting and Shigure's writing at the bottom of the note. It has some cooking instructions and a get well soon thing. And of course Shigure gives his input and also tells me to get well soon. But his writing has little hearts drawn around it and random squiggles. God he's never going to grow up.
I gulp down breakfast. Maybe I should call it lunch? The clock flashing at me from the microwave says it's one o'clock already. Like it matters. It's not raining today, though I know I probably slept until it was over. Like usual. It's amazing I even woke up at all actually. Last night I was totally exhausted. Or was it afternoon? I can't remember.
Just leaning up the dishes and clearing everything away is making me tired. My arm and hand are throbbing and my stomach is regretting eating so much so fast. I walk over to the sofa and flip on the TV. The news is on. Perfect channel to fall asleep in front of. I curled up and did just that.
Breakbreakbreabkrebarbkeabkrebreakbreabkrkeabrkeabrkear
I woke to the sensation of cold hands touching my throat and then my forehead. I force my eyes wide open and I see Yuki striding up to his room. I wonder if he actually touched me or if it was a dream. I sit up, rubbing my eyes, and turn to face him. He obviously senses my movements and turns his head.
"What?"
He asks the question innocently. Like he's so sure he didn't do anything wrong. I have the worst splitting headache and my stomach seems very angry at me for eating. I ask him before I can even think over the question.
"Did you just touch me?"
As soon as I said that I regretted it. God I sound like such a freak. I rub my forehead with my hand, slightly embarrassed. I have a headache and I made it sound like he just groped me. Great. I can hear him biting back a snigger and to my surprise he actually answered.
"I checked if you were alive and if you had a fever, stupid cat."
After that he continues his way back to his room. Thank God. Maybe now it will be quiet again. The TV had been turned off at some point. Yuki probably turned off not wanting to run a high electricity bill. I almost start wondering where Tohru is before I remember she has work. I look at the clock. 4:00 PM. I only slept for three hours. That's not so bad.
Ah, there goes my headache again. Wait… Yuki wanted to check if I was alive? Well I guess it wouldn't do if he found me dead after 'rescuing' me. I can't believe he did that. Oh well no use dwelling on it. I turn and look at the blank TV screen.
I don't move until he comes back. He spares me a quick glance before grabbing his coat and walking to the door. He stops in front of it and argues with himself for a few seconds before opening his mouth.
"I'm going out."
He says this without turning. Why is he bothering? I'm not blind, thank you very much. I can see very well that he's going out. I guess he wants to make sure someone knows he's leaving. His gaze drops to the floor and lifts again.
"I'll be back soon."
And with that he leaves; the door slamming shut behind him. I wonder where he's going briefly before brushing the thought away. This is Yuki we're talking about. He'll come back eventually anyways. But he said he'd come back soon. So I guess after an hour I should go and look for him just in case. Because when Tohru gets home and there's no Yuki she'll be sad. And Tohru shouldn't be sad.
Breakbreakbreabkbrebkabrkeabrkeabrkebarkear
Before I know it an hour passes and I'm still sitting and thinking about whether or not I should get Yuki. I play the idea around in my head for a little while. The usual 'what would happen if I stayed here?' and 'Tohru came home and no one was here but me and Yuki was who knows where doing who knows what?' thoughts were floating around in my head. Tohru would probably go out looking herself, but she's not a very good finder and she wouldn't be able to take Yuki home, should he be injured. Not like the damn rat would be. Which means I should go find Yuki. But I'm really not well enough to go get him. Ugh this is stupid.
I finally push everything to the back of my mind and get up, grab my coat and leave before I can contradict myself… again. I'm relieved that I got my warmer coat, since it turns out to be cool outside. Not to mention that I've been rather cold recently, doubling the effects of the weather.
I first check out his o-so-secret base. The place is neat but devoid of any human life besides mine. I always thought that this place was sort of cute. I guess it's sort of his sanctuary. Like the roof is to me.
So I get up from the base and walk around, off the Sohma estate. I check around school. Any place I think I might find him. I sneeze. God this is taking forever. If I had a watch I would be able to tell if I'd been out for a long time. This is a waste. He's probably home already wondering where the hell I am.
I turn a corner and I glimpse silver. Now I feel like a magpie, it could be anything. There are lots of silver things in this world. But somehow I know it's him.
He's sitting there, breathing slightly ragged, looking at me. He's a mess, hair all over the place. There's a slight swelling to his face and I'm sure there are some hidden bruises beneath his clothes. He's leaning against a wall, with his arms crossed and legs drawn up. His eyes are vacant and I'm not quite sure if he recognizes me. He opens his mouth and makes a rough sound. He licks his lips and tries again.
"...Kyo...?"
I blink. So he does recognize me. That's good. Easier to deal with than if he had amnesia or something messed up like that. I look down at him. He seems to be moving, very slowly. Suddenly his hand flies up to his face and he starting hacking. The coughing makes his pale body lurch. His eyes widen slightly as he looks at his hand. I bend slightly and I see it too.
Blood.
"It...it hurts..."
He says it as though it surprises him. He looks up at me and suddenly I can see right through him, for one of the first times. Help me. He falls forward, into me.
Poof!
I scoop up the grey rat and check if he's still breathing, (he is) and if he's conscious (he isn't), and slip him into one of the pockets of my coat, leaving the zip open to allow him to breath. I gather up his clothes as well, half folding them in my arms and walk as fast as I can to Shigure's house.
Breabrebakrbeabkrbeabreabkreabkreabkreabreakbreakbreabkreabkrea
By the time we get back Tohru's home. She's still in her school uniform, obviously work ended early today. Anyone would know Tohru wouldn't willingly leave work early. She walks into the entry way to greet me, ever present smile on her face.
"Tadaima, Kyo-kun!- Are you ok Kyo-kun? You were sick today, are you feeling worse? Did the cold make you worse? Where's Yuki-kun? Shigure-san called and said he'd be staying the night at the main house with Akito. Why are you carrying Yuki-kun's clothes? What's wrong?"
I digest the information slowly. My brain is still slightly foggy and I can't feel my finger tips. Shigure's staying at the main house? With Akito probably... I slip my shoes off and try to piece the words together as Tohru's starts talking again. What did she want to know? Oh yeah. The rat.
I produce the rat out of the pocket. He's still warm and breathing. Specks of blood stain his fur. I guess I should clean him off before he changes back. No way am I cleaning a human Yuki. Tohru gasps slightly and holds her hands up to her mouth. Tears fill her eyes and she starts mumbling words of worry. I decide I can't deal with this much emotion. I mutter what I think are words of comfort, push past her and go into the bathroom and shut the door.
I do my best to clean up the rat. Stupid, he always gets himself into problems and someone has to peel him off the streets. Finally when all him fur seems pretty clean I wrap him in a hand towel, and debate shortly on if I should bandage him in this form or not. I decide against it. It would be useless anyways since you can't see any wounds underneath his fur.
I carry him carefully upstairs and try to rub the wetness off his fur. If he gets cold he might get sick or something. What the fuck was he doing outside in this weather anyways? He knows that he isn't the healthiest person to begin with. Maybe he had an attack or something. I hope he isn't having one now.
Wait a second. Am I worrying about Yuki? Sohma Yuki? The Yuki I vowed to beat (and failed to beat) and hate for the rest of my years? I guess after someone saves your life you need to return the favor… even though I didn't want to be saved. After this I swear to hate him with everything I have.
I put him down on his bed on his back and pull up his covers to where his chin would be if he wasn't in rat form. I can feel Tohru behind me. She looks at me teary eyed and she says she wants to know what happened. I shrug, she looks like she going to go into a big huge sob-fest. Just what I need.
She calls my name and runs up and buries her head in my chest, tears quickly wetting my shirt. I never think I've felt so uncomfortable in my life. Her words are muffled into my shirt, something about Yuki and how she's so worried about him and about me. I look away, shifting my feet. I can feel Yuki watching.
I think I'm supposed to hug her, but I don't want to risk the change. The smart thing to do now would be to kiss her or something like that without any embracing but... I don't like her like that. I mean she accepted me and all, and I think for some time after that I thought I liked her like that... but really it was just such an amazing thing that she accepted me I just loved her more than anything else. I mistook that love for passion. But it wasn't. I love her so much, but not like that. Never like that.
She finally lets go and looks up at me and says she's very sorry to be such a bother and asks me if I'll come to dinner. I tell her maybe later and give her a hollow smile. She attempts and smile back and I tell her that everything OK, and she shouldn't worry about it. She smiles again and leaves. I call after her. She spins around and looks at me like I'm going to say something of big importance. I tell her I'm sorry.
I slump in defeat. God, must I always be such an asshole? She's been nothing but nice to me. What's my problem? I should never have been so cold to her. That was unacceptable. I hold my hand to my head as a headache weaves its way across my thoughts, obscuring them with pain.
I sit down, leaning against Yuki's bed. I hear a soft poof! But I don't turn around. I can feel his eyes on me but I don't want to see them. I'm so sick of this. I rub my temples with my fingertips and get up again. I should just go to sleep. I don't have school tomorrow. I can sleep as long as I want.
I start to walk to the door and suddenly I can feel fingers curled around my 'bad' arm, making me wince and turn around in surprise. His grey eyes are staring up at me, looking like they want to tell me something that I don't seem to comprehend. His face turns determined and he says a word with dumbfounded me.
"Stay."
break
A/n: Ugh this was a drag. I hope it was good, it took me FOREVER to write! I must give a huggle to my beta-er because I got his out SO late. I hope she can forgive me! I will not be writing for a long time since i'm going to England tomorrow! (for a week) and I haven't started the next chapter yet! Gomen! Thank all you wonderful readers! You are so wonderful! Please review! It's authors food! If I don't get some I might DIE! Til next time!
