Chapter 9- The First Good Byes
The Stabler Family returned from their honeymoon/ vacation stronger than ever. After many Disney characters and songs later, the kids almost seemed to forget that their father was dying... Olivia forgetting her husband wasn't going to be with her much longer. They lived for every moment in Anaheim, CA as if there wasn't a tomorrow. And they couldn't have been any happier.
They soon returned to New York City where the family split up and Olivia and Elliot made their way to their apartment. They made love and held each other every night. Olivia feared letting go of him in those intimate moments, but he continued to reassure her that he would be back. His reassurance in the form of soft long kisses and holds.
The morning of their long awaited wedding reception, Elliot and Olivia layed together in their bed after making love. Olivia snuggled herself into his warm bare chest as Elliot stroked her hair and visible skin.
Olivia noticed his mind didn't seem to be in the moment, so she began to trail kisses along his collar bone and jaw. "El, what are you thinking about?" she asked softly.
He held her tighter and brushed his face into her hair. "We need to tell them today, Liv. Its my last week on the job."
A shiver of fear passed through her spine and she only squeezed tighter. He noticed this and he pressed her body closer to him. "It isn't that time yet. Is it El?"
He nodded silently and he kissed her brow. "Are you okay, Liv?"
She held in her tears and nodded into his chest.
"Baby," he said kissing her face. "You don't need to be strong for me. Let me take care of you too."
She closed her eyes and sobbed into his chest. He tried to soothe her, but knew she needed this cry. She needed to release her pain, fear and sadness.
She held onto him for dear life, it seemed. As her tears began to subside, she kissed up his torso and made her way to his mouth. "Im sorry," she mouthed before she found his lips planted on hers.
"Don't be," he said kissing her deeper. "I don't want to leave you either." He held her close as his kissed his way down her neck. "I love you, Olivia Stabler."
"I love you too, El." She said letting her dreams take over. "Forever."
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Their reception was going to be small. Not a large family gathering. Not a traditional champagne and dance. Simply friends and dinner. It would be with the people that really mattered. Their family and the people they loved.
Elliot was staring at himself in the mirror as he looked at his disintegrating self. He had treatments the day before. His was growing more pale after every treatment. It killed him knowing that he was going to leave Olivia. He gripped the dresser as he stared at his appearance in the mirror. His shirt was open and his eyes seemed older and more tired. He studied his body and smiled when he saw his wedding ring on his hand. Her name engraved on the inside along with the word'Forever. She had been the love of his life since he started working at the 1-6 precinct. She would live within him even after his passing.
Olivia stood in the doorway and watched her husband's silent analysis. It broke her heart to see him so broken. Dinner was ready for their friends and family when they arrived. She had loved the man she stared at for what seemed like forever. He was the only man who she had let into her world. And he was going to be leaving her sooner than either of them wanted.
She saw him look at his wedding ring as she fiddled with her own on her hand. She took a deep breath and moved behind him and wrapped her arms around him. He relaxed under her touch and she kissed his shoulders through his shirt. She knew his thoughts and they broke her heart. "It will be okay, baby. They will understand"
He nodded as he grabbed onto her hand. "It's just admitting it thats hard, you know?"
She nodded and moved her way around him so she stood in between his legs. When he didn't meet her eyes, she took her hand and moved his face so he looked into her determined brown eyes. "Hey," she said softly but in a firm fashion. "You don't need to tell them now. We can wait"
He smiled at her attempt to ease his pain and kissed her softly. "Yes, I do, Liv," he said against her lips. "I need to do this"
"I will there for you, baby," she said kissing him soundly against the mouth. "I will be your strength. Lean on me if you need me today"
"I will always need you, Olivia," he said with a sad smile. "I always have"
She looked up at him and caught his lips in hers. As her hands made her way to remove his shirt, the doorbell rang. She looked up at him and still saw desire and love written in his eyes. "We better get moving. They are here."
She stepped away and he turned her around before he buttoned up his shirt. He kissed her sweetly and smiled at her. "I love you, Liv"
"Forever, baby." She said winking at him. She turned away and went to open the front door.
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Everyone was gathered around the living room enjoying the company and food. They shared stories and Olivia and Elliot shared their adventures of their honeymoon vacation with very limited details. Olivia smiled at her husband as he talked to his coworkers and children.
It was getting later into the evening and Elliot knew he needed to admit the truth. He suddenly gripped Olivia's thigh and her head shot up. She looked into his blue eyes that were suddenly filled with fear and pain. She moved to his ear and whispered to him, "It will be okay, baby." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and lovingly touched his cheek. "I love you and am right beside you"
He nodded and stood up. "Hey all, I have something to say"
"What, Olivia's pregnant?" Munch said taking another drink of his beer. Fin laughed and slapped his partner's back.
"No, I actually have some news for you"
Cragen met with Olivia's eyes and saw the tears began to gather. She met his gaze and lowered her head in her hands. Elliot began to speak and she rested her hand on his lower back.
"As many of you know, married couples are frowned upon by the Brass." They all nodded and he continued. "Truly we weren't worried about it because I am resigning from the police force." They all wore faces of shock. Before any could comment to Elliot's announcement, Elliot continued. "I am not leaving because I don't love the job anymore. It has nothing to do with that." He felt himself growing afraid, but knew he needed to admit the truth. He took a deep drink of his beer and looked up at the group. "I am leaving because I am dying. I went to my yearly check up since I had my HIV scare and I received very bad news. I have a rare, lethal form of leukemia and I need to receive treatments every week, sometimes twice a week. That is why Olivia has been so wonderful and flexible about our cases." He squeezed her hand to feel her strength. She reciprocated and he continued. "I don't have much longer. Probably a couple months. I am leaving now so I can be with my family and friends while I still can. I know you all needed to know. You are my family. And I will miss you all." A silent tear escaped his eyes and Olivia took him in her arms.
No one wasn't crying in the Stabler's apartment. Even Munch was crying. Casey moved to him and he held her close, both crying for their friend. His children moved to their father and his new wife and held her close. Fin was watching everyone's reactions, while dealing with his own. He saw Cragen's face, which was not filled with shock like everyone else. He moved to him and whispered forcefully, "You knew?"
He nodded and replied, "He asked me not to say anything. I didn't even know that Olivia knew until the night before they got married"
Fin shook his hand and pulled him into a brotherly hug. "We are going to miss him." He nodded and made his way to Elliot's daughters and son.
John and Casey stood up and made his way to Elliot and Olivia. Casey moved and hugged Elliot tightly. "Im sorry, Elliot. Im so sorry"
He nodded and quickly released her. "It will be okay, Casey."
He soon looked at his coworkers, John Munch and Odafin Tutuola. Both men were strong with dark haunting pasts. He always respected them and viewed them like brothers. There were no words that needed to be said. Only a silent connection. They nodded and that was that.
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Shortly after, everyone was gone and it left Elliot and Olivia alone in their apartment. Elliot was cleaning the dishes and they both stayed silent. He felt Olivia's arms behind him and he smiled. She kissed him softly and whispered in his ear, "I have something for you"
She took his hand and led him to the bedroom. There sat a box with a small bow. "Open it," she said kissing him softly. He moved over and opened it and saw a photo. It was her and him with their first kiss. It was sweet and romantic. He looked back at her and she had tears in her eyes. "Whenever you look at this, I want to you to see me. Feel me. Feel us." Tears escaped both their eyes and she held him close. "I am so proud of you. I am so in love with you. Nothing, not even death, will ever make me stop."
He looked into her eyes and cried with her silently. "I love you, Olivia"
She knew what he needed and brought him to the bed. Their love making was slow and gente. There was no rush. They were in love and hurting. They didn't need words. Their eyes said it all. As they made love, she felt the magic that she knew no one would ever bring to her but him. In the middle of the night, she held him close and kissed every inch of him that wasn't cover by their blankets and sheets. She stared at his strong face and smiled at him before she fell asleep in his arms. "I will love you forever," she whispered in the dark of night.
Well that is chapter 9. Thank you to all who read and I will post chapter 10 soon... please review! Thank you again!
