Again, spoiler warning: this is events between ch 120 - 125.

UNBETA-ED: im posting this with out it being betaed because i awnted to beat the release of ch 126, otherwise my train of thought would end up being tainted. Trust me tho, I WILL get it betaed and ill repost the betaed edition :D

Disclaimer: I dont own Fai or Kurogane or any of the rest, but i LOVE their idea!

Summery: Fai's thoughts an POV during the events in ch 124/125 (theres more dialogue in this ch because this one happens in the "here and now" while the first one was "thinking back" )


I dont really remember what happened after that moment. I remember alot of movement, feling the presense of my own magic, crackling thru the air, and the smell of fire. The next time i was erally coherent was when i felt someone wrap a bandage about my head. I heard her words loud and clear, "...Not uncommon to die..."

That had hit me like a ton of bricks. I was going to die, because of my stupidity. I deserve it. Because of me, someone who has no soul is in control of half my magic. Even at half mast, my magic is dangerous. It took me years of training to gain proper control, something of which Syaoran-kun does not have.

I heard Mokona calling for Yuuko-san's help. Begging her to save me. I couldnt let them. If I were to live, so would my magic. Devistating even at 50. When I told them that, a loud crashing sound startled me. It was Kuro-tan. He was angry at what I was saying. "What kind of person would just resign himself to that?" he growled. The next second, he held me up, by my shirt, so we were face to face. The pain i saw in his eyes was powerful. All I could do was apologize to him. Then I slipped unconcious again.


My state of mind was strange. The pain kept me half-awake, while my loss of strenghth just wanted me to sleep. I dont know how much time had passed since I was face to face with Kuro-rin, but I DID relize that I was no longer lying on the bed. Instead i felt a large hand cradling my head, keeping it elevated and near. Kuro-chan was holdingme close to his body. I found it rather comforting, I almost wanted to slip back into the abyss, but the next words i heard stopped that thought.

They were planning to tun me into a vampire! By feeding me this Subaru person's blood, along with Kurogane's blood, I was going to be turned into this creture who will need to drink blood, mainly only Kuro-chi's blood. I had to try to stop them. Why couldnt they just let me die? But when I tried to voice my own opinions of my fate, Kuro-sama cut me off. He shouted at me to shut up, and i felt his grip on the back of my head tighten, forcing me to open my eyes and look into his.

"If you want to die so bad, I will kill you. Until then, live."

What he said made my heart stop for an instant. It wasnt the words that startled me, for he's made threats at me before. No. It was the WAY he said them that got to me. With such conviction, anger, and heart break in his voice. I felt a warmth spread in my heart. I felt something that I hadnt felt in a very long time. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself. Perhaps there IS a reason to live. I just never realized it.


The next moment, I felt Kuro-min tilt my head back slightly. I opened my eyes and saw the blood trickle from his wrist. It fell, almost in slow motion, and i felt the hot, copper tasting liquid hit my tongue. I would have gaged, had a large calloused hand massage my throat, forcing me to swallow the bitter drink. I felt the strange mystical magic from the vampire blood seep into my system. Looking into the crimson eyes above me, I began to feel the changes accure...
kyaa! That took me so long to get written! i procrastinated too much --;; I hope its good...Who knows, i MIGHT write ANTOHER chapter, perhaps about FAi's first feeding or something :D...it just depends on some good chapters. R&R and please be nice