"Are your eyes closed?" Luke asked as he pulled up.
"Yes, jeez, can't you just trust me for once?"
"I would except for the fact you told me not more than five minutes ago that I didn't need to keep my hands in the 10 and 2 position on the steering wheel."
"I'd know you were doing that even if I could see. Do you really think I don't know you that well by now?" Lorelai griped.
Luke shook his head, not wanting to get into it with her, just wanting to preserve this moment for what it was. He got out of the car and walked around and opened her door for her, reaching and taking her hand to help her out. He was a little surprised when her fingers curled around his as well. Did she know she was doing that? Did she consciously hold his hand as well or was it just a natural reflex?
"Lorelai, get out," he tells her. She bites her lip, her free hand searching and he takes it in his other hand, helping her out. Staring down at her standing in front of him, blindfolded, biting her lip in that cute way she had, gripping his hands in hers, it was like she was placing all of herself completely in his hands, her safety, her life, everything. For a moment he considered lowering his head to kiss her lips and pressing her back against the door, kissing her with everything in him, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against him until she's practically enveloped by him. He had to close his eyes and take a deep breath, willing himself to think of something else, Kirk or Liz or sheep or something.
"Luke, let's get the Patty Hearst act over with."
"Oh, uh, right," Luke stuttered, realizing that she was probably confused as why he was just standing there. "You ready?"
"Better believe it."
He reached behind her head and untied the blindfold. "Well?" he asked, but instead of looking over at where they were, she stared up into his eyes, getting lost in them for a moment. "Lorelai?"
She shook her head quickly to shake off the fog that was trying to envelope her brain. "Ummmm…" She frowned, looking around, needing this time both to clear her mind and to figure out where she was. Noticing a sign to her left, she squinted, reading it. "Graceland? You took me to Graceland?"
Luke nodded, a serious expression on his face. "I took you to Graceland." She nodded, seemingly impressed, looking back over at the house.
"I… I don't know what to say. I'm… speechless."
He chuckled. "Will wonders never cease." She glares at him but the glitter in his eyes only makes her smile. "Come on, I'll tell you about it as we walk." Letting go of one of her hands, he lead her towards the house, still holding one of her hands in his. It seemed perfectly natural to both of them, holding hands just like a real couple, just walking and talking and holding hands as if that's what they did everyday. Both were trying not to concentrate on the electricity shooting up their arms and down their spines from the slight contact of their hands. They were both smiling, looking at the house and each other as they walked, hoping the slight flush of their faces meant nothing. "My father loved Elvis."
"Really?" He nodded.
"Yeah, when my dad drove down to Alabama to ask my mom's parents for her hand in marriage, he stopped here on his way home. You know, it wasn't a big place then, he had only come out with Jailhouse Rock a few years before."
"You mean it wasn't covered in crazy Elvis fans? I couldn't imagine it."
"My dad was a crazy Elvis fan," Luke reminded her. Lorelai pressed her lips together, giving him an apologetic look. "He really was. When my dad bought the house for my mom, he had the lyrics to I Want You, I Need You, I Love You, framed and put in their bedroom."
"That's so sweet, Luke." Luke shrugged. "Seriously, it's like he was combining his two loves. And he drove all the way to Alabama to ask for your mother's hand in marriage? He sounds like an amazing guy."
Luke smiled to himself. "He was. He really loved my mother. He wasn't a very expressive guy but he tried his best because he loved my mom so much." Luke looked down at the ground, seeing his few memories of his parents happy in his mind. Lorelai gave him his time until he looked over at her. "Come on, I want to show you something." She nodded as he pulled towards her towards the entrance.
She wandered around the front entrance as he bought tickets to the tour, just imagining for a moment what it was like for Lisa Marie to have lived there. She almost felt bad for Lisa Marie, the place didn't seem homey at all. It was huge and lovely and beautiful but not the kind of place she ever wanted to call home, it was nothing like the feeling of living in the Crap Shack.
"Hey, you ready?" Luke asked, walking up behind her. She glanced over her shoulder and flashed him a quick smile. "Come on." He took her hand, leading her away, as if it was just normal for them to hold hands as they walked, and maybe that's what it was becoming. It seemed to both of them that it was just natural to hold hands as they walked, as if they'd been doing it for years.
At one point on the tour, Luke pulled Lorelai to a stop in front of a framed poem. "Elvis was a good father to Lisa Marie. I mean, through the divorce with Priscilla, his many mistresses, his drug abuse, when it came to Lisa, she came first. He loved his little girl." Lorelai nodded, waiting for the point Luke was trying to make. "Anyways, for Lisa's fourth birthday, Elvis wrote this poem for her, The Priceless Gift, he promised his love for her for always. My mom, she loved the idea of this, she thought there was nothing better a father could give to his child than a promise to love her for always."
"Your mother was a very smart woman." Luke rubbed his hand over his mouth, feeling himself tear up at the idea.
"My dad was a great father, but again, he wasn't that good at expressing it."
"It doesn't seem liked you needed it. Luke, you love your dad so much, I can just tell."
"It's gotta be hard, I mean maybe it wasn't for Priscilla, but it's gotta be hard to be a single parent. After my mom died, my dad tried so hard to be there for me and Liz, but I don't know, I think he blamed himself for losing Liz."
"He shouldn't have. Being a parent is hard."
Luke chuckled, shaking his head at her. "You should talk, you're a great parent."
Lorelai pursed her lips as she shrugged, brushing her hair away from her face. "I don't know. It's not modesty or anything, but what Rory and I have, it's not a normal mother/daughter kind of relationship. I mean I was sixteen when I had her."
"I know."
"Yeah I know you know, but it's just… we're more best friends than mother and daughter. I think if I ever did it again…"
"Parenthood?" She nodded.
"Yeah, I would do it differently if I was ever a mother again." Luke nodded, watching her face as she gave him a tightlipped smile that could mean a variety of things.
He took a deep breath, before he spoke again. "Do you want to?" He cleared his throat. "Do you want to be a mother again?"
"Sure," Lorelai answered without even thinking about it. Then she smiled and blushed. "You know, do it the right way, like Donna Reed would appreciate. Don't you want to have kids someday?"
Luke shrugged, suddenly a little uncomfortable. "I don't know. I mean…" He grimaced. "It seems odd that I would but I guess… if I found the right… partner, or whatever." He tried to shrug it off, glancing back at the poem. "Anyways, that's why I brought you here."
"I'm glad you did. I mean, I wasn't sure at first why Graceland unless you were going to start singing Heartbreak Hotel and do that weird little dance Elvis always did." The look of amusement on Luke's face made Lorelai laugh.
"Lorelai, I want you to know this, I don't really talk about this kind of stuff with people much."
"Your parents?" He nodded. "Oh Luke, you didn't have to…" He covered her mouth with his free hand before she could finish her statement.
"I wanted to," he assured her. "I guess, it's just easy with you. I'm sorry I didn't before."
She stared up at him for a moment, really hearing his words. He was right, it went the same for her. Somehow just hanging with him, just talking, shooting the breeze, however you call it, it was so easy, something she had been unable to do ever before, open up, let someone see her vulnerabilities, her worries, her fears, but it was so simple with Luke.
After discovering what he had been keeping inside, his grief due to the loss of his parents, she suddenly feared she had been saying all the wrong things. "Oh Luke, I'm so sorry. Here I am going on and on about how much I dislike my parents and can't get along with them and you're just standing there comforting me and listening to me and not shaking me and saying 'Lorelai! At least you have them around!'"
He cocked his head knowingly, taking her other hand in his. "Lorelai, I didn't think that for a second." She smiled softly. "Was it really that bad?"
"It was…" Lorelai frowned, considering her words.
He watches her as she chews softly on her lower lip in a way that he's learned indicates she's having trouble coming up with what to say. Maybe she doesn't really know how much she wants to say. "Lorelai, you don't have to tell me about it if you don't want."
"No," she responded quickly. "I…. I want to show you. When we're done here, it's my turn to pick the place."
"We're going to Hartford?" She shook her head.
"Nope, even worse."
"Do I have to be blindfolded?" Luke asked. She laughed.
"We'll see."
The ride had a very different atmosphere than the drive to Graceland, the tension was obliterated, that is the fear of saying the wrong thing disappeared, the sexual tension seemed to be increasing exponentially to both as the hours passed. They both did their best to ignore it, chatting like old times about everything and nothing at the same time.
His only desire had been to make her laugh, to watch as she threw back her head, her mouth open wide as she giggled in a delicate, but oh so lovely, way. To hear that musical sound of her laughter that came to him like the sweetest melody he had ever heard. Her voice is full of money. He heard the words in his head as he listened to her response to his latest gruff reply and for a moment, wondered where on earth the words had come from. They were so familiar but seemed so distant in his mind, like he'd have to search for the next week to be able to pull from the furthest reaches of his mind the reference of those words.
As her laughter quieted, she glanced over at him, taking her eyes off the road for only a second. She found that he was looking at her, but not staring as she had often found, his gaze now was soft, distant, and yet at the same time, so very sexy. Her heart fluttered deep with in her chest and she could do little to stop her cheeks from flushing. "What?" she asked, trying to take the focus off of herself.
Things had been going well for them on this trip, almost more than good, like something past friendship. It was working out so well. He didn't want to spoil it by telling her what he was really thinking. So he just smiled and tried to think of a way to get the focus off of what had been going through his mind. "I was just thinking how nice it would be if you let me put in my new Elvis tape rather than whatever this junk is," he responded. He watched as she slumped her shoulders, giving him a sorrowful look.
"You know, I'm still surprised that they had cassette tapes, apparently Graceland still lives in the past with you," she teased, with a slight arch to her eyebrow. "Besides, there's nothing better than Bono."
"Yeah Bono's a good person. I'm pretty all right with him," Luke admitted.
"High praise from you."
"He does a lot of charity work, gives a lot of money to people, unlike many people in those ridiculous rock bands you like."
She scoffed, trying to keep her gaze on the road rather than the, now irresistible, man sitting to her right. "Are you making fun of Jerry Garcia?"
"No, of course not, he helps out with those kids." Lorelai couldn't help but giggle at this.
"You mean Jerry's kids?" she asked, trying to bait him, but he seemed unaware what she was going for.
"Yeah."
She shook her head in wonder. He never ceased to amaze her with his lack of pop culture knowledge, so extremely small in comparison to her own. Something that had always interested her in guys, how similar they were to herself, but maybe those weren't the important things. It wasn't enough to have similar interests and fascinations as people when they were on two completely different paths. While Luke's hobbies were far different from her own, his personality, his true character, a person who kept everyone at arms length, who hid within in the character traits that kept people at a distance, whose heart was only searching for that one person to let in, in all those ways Luke was like the male version of herself. He got her, she was sure of that.
"Jerry's kids is a foundation for Muscular Dystrophy set up by Jerry Lewis," Lorelai informed Luke, watching his face go lax.
"Oh," was all he could manage, knowing that his attempt at showing her his vast knowledge of the pop culture realm she knew she so much about had failed. He could only wonder if she wished he was more like her, if she was possibly even bored by him at times. But the shine in her eyes told a different story. "You know, I'm just going to put in Elvis."
"We could play the license plate game," Lorelai suggested. He chuckled.
"Okay, but not the way we've been playing it."
"Luke Danes, are you getting into this game of ours?" she teased, and then considered that her words could have two meanings. It was like a little game they were playing, their flirting, holding hands at the museum, their looks, like a little way to play off each other, a way to get as close to being a real couple without actually opening their mouths to suggest that this might be what they both wanted.
He wondered for a moment what she meant by game but figured he'd go for the platonic meaning of the word. "Yeah, I just thought we've listed the capitals eighty times by now, let's try something different."
"You have a suggestion?"
He shrugged. How far would she want to take their new relationship? Their friendship that had now become more open than ever before? Was she willing to open to him completely? "Well you take first letter of the license plate. See… GBR, so G and you have to relate it to something in your life." She nodded and waited patiently and he realized she wanted him to finish his example. "Uh… g…umm…"
"You wanted to start this game and you can't think of an example?" she taunts him.
Well he knew she wasn't the only one who wouldn't back down from a dare. Looking at her posture, he couldn't help but perceive that she hoped whatever he was going to say, when he opened up it would be all the way. "G is for my grandmother, my mother's mother. She outlived my mother by a couple years. I remember she had this smell, like apricots and cinnamon, I think it was her powder or lotion, but whatever it was… I've never eaten an apricot since the day she died."
She glanced over at him, a flicker of sadness in her eyes, but more than that, empathy, sympathy. It wasn't the pity he always feared he'd receive when he finally found that person he could open his heart to and trust for always, what she was offering was something like respect for his honesty and willingness to let her see everything and understand him completely, it was honor for those past and heartfelt affection for all those that had affected him over the years.
He cleared his throat, knowing full well how exposed he was at them moment. "It's…uh… your turn." Lorelai grinned and glanced out the window.
"JDE," she said softly. "J…. for Jerry Manlow."
"That name sounds familiar." Lorelai nodded.
"He owned the Crap Shack before Rory and I. Luke, I love that house. It's the only place that ever felt like home to me, whatever that means." She smiled softly, shrugging. "All I've been for so long is Rory's mother, that's what I've been defined as. And within that house, that's all I'll ever be. For so long, Luke, I've been content with that. I love Rory, she's my daughter. But she's in California and then she'll be at Harvard and then the world. I need to find a new way to define myself, I need there to be more to me than just Rory's mother. I guess that's why I want to take those business classes." Luke nodded, understandingly, watching her slowly gnaw her lower lip, knowing there was more she wanted to say. "I guess that's why I wanted to go on this trip," she admitted, with a quick glance over at him to see if he got her meaning. The flash of solace in his eyes, along with the quick nod of his head, told her all she needed to know.
As Lorelai pulled into a space in the parking lot, Luke could not keep his eyes off the view across the street. Before him was a large black steel gate, with a large green lawn leading up to a white palace-size house with large white columns and an array of flowers surrounding the beautiful, and what looks like marble, porch in front. Lorelai glanced over at Luke and noticed his fixed gaze. She reached over and squeezed his arm.
"Lorelai, please tell me that's not what your parents' house looks like," Luke said, making her laugh.
"No, my parents have money, but they're not Vanderbilts." Luke nodded, slowly drawing in a breath and letting it out. "Would it scare you more if I told you this was only a summer house?" He looked over at her, disgust written all over his face. She pats his hand. "Come on."
They walk around the truck, Lorelai taking Luke's hand as they head towards the house. "So you took me to Newport?" She nodded. "Why?"
"You'll see," she replied in a serious tone and then smiled at him. "I thought about taking you to Rosecliff. Such a history, they filmed True Lies there, you know."
"True Lies? Another reference of yours I don't know?" She laughed.
"Great Gatsby too. Ah, Robert Redford." She sighed happily, but Luke frowned, the words Great Gatsby circling his brain.
"Her voice is full of money… It was full of money, that was the inexhaustible charm that rose and fell in it, the jingle of it, the cymbals' song of it," Luke said, the words coming to him before he knew where they were coming from. Lorelai looked up at him, surprised by the words Luke just uttered. "He called her the golden girl."
"Gatsby?"
Luke nodded, unknowingly stopping in his tracks, his hand forcing Lorelai to pause as well. "My mom, she loved that book. She used to read parts of it to me before I went to bed at night, over and over again we went through that book. After awhile I could practically recite the thing from memory." His thumb was tracing patterns on the back of Lorelai's hand as he talked. He was concentrating on breathing, still hearing his mother's soft voice in his head, feeling her comforting presence. No, not his mother's comforting presence, Lorelai's. She was there. She was standing right there, looking at him in that way that made his heart ache and he still couldn't believe it, he not only had the ability to open up to her, to trust her, but she wanted him to. She had that radiance about her that Fitzgerald talked about, she was his golden girl. "Anyways, we should go buy tickets," he finally said. She nodded and let him lead her to the ticket booth along the drive.
They got tickets and headed out on the audio tour of Marble House. Lorelai watched Luke's face go from amazement to disgust as he walked from the front hall to the ballroom. The place was so beautiful, each piece ornate, the expensive marble walls etched with such detail that Lorelai couldn't decide if she was awestruck or appalled either. When they reached Alva Vanderbilt's bedroom and then walked into Cornelius's, she could hear Luke snort. Giving him a look, she removed her head phones and he did the same.
"They had separate bedrooms?" he asked, dismayed by the idea that this couple that lived in this house a century ago, that had three children together, didn't share a bed every night.
"Luke, marriages were different back then. They married because they had money and they wanted more money and they wanted to keep the money among people with money. Rich people are crazy, I swear they still do that. It's ridiculous and stupid and that's what would have ended up happening if I had married Christopher," Lorelai ranted, not really realizing where she was ending her rant until she stopped talking. He watched her eyes go wide in realization of what she just said. As she bit her lower lip, hearing her words all over again, he rubbed her arm comfortingly. She took a deep breath. "Let's finish this," she finally decided and put her head phones back on.
After the tour ended they walked outside and checked out the tea house in back of the house. "Ug, look at this, all the money in the world and they spend it on this. It's beautiful but garish when you look at that!" Lorelai exclaims, flinging her arm back at Marble House. Seeing that Lorelai's about to lose it, Luke grabs her hand and pulls her across the lawn to a bench that over looks the cape and sits, pulling her down next to him. She huffs, shaking her head. "It's just… money's just a toy to them. The rich. All the things they could do with it and they spend it on tea houses and another car and a sitting room that they never use. They think that's enough to make them happy." Luke nodded, just letting her blow off steam, squeezing her hand. She rubbed her forehead, trying to calm herself.
"Lorelai, was it really that bad?" She looked up at him, a pained look in her eyes and he could see the truth without her even opening her mouth. "That's why you brought me here?"
"You heard what they said. Consuelo Vanderbilt loved Rutherford, she loved him but she wasn't allowed to marry him because he wasn't rich, he didn't belong in their world. So she was forced into an unhappy marriage for years that she ended up getting annulled in the end. See that's how it goes in their world, the rich have to marry the rich."
"Is that how it was for your parents?" She shook her head.
"No," she said softly. "But they were lucky. They were rich and in love. But that wasn't for me. I didn't fall in love with someone from their world. I…" She bit her lower lip, letting the sentence just trail off. "It just hurts, Luke. Their house was so cold and unfeeling. I mean I know they loved me, but they never told me." Luke could do little but squeeze her hand and just let her know that he was there, hearing her voice break as she finally admitted the true reason that her memories of her childhood pained her so much.
She let the seconds pass by, trying to calm herself, trying to let the comfort of Luke's hand soothe herself. Finally she wanted to see the consolation in his eyes, not just feel it on her hand and looked up at him. She caught him staring back at her and with a blink of her eyes finally realized what she had been seeing all along in his gaze. He was seeing past her blue eyes, dark hair and creamy complexion, past the pert smile she kept fixed on her face and the crinkle of the corners of her eyes that had become permanent after all those years. He saw more than that. He could see her hopes and dreams, her worries and fears, everything that she had kept hidden for so long from her parents, her boyfriends, Christopher, Sookie, even Rory, every bit of vulnerability within her, all of her weaknesses, he could see. He had seen it all this time, even before she had opened up about the sorrows in her heart. He saw it all and loved it all, loved her even. What an awe-inspiring feeling it was to know she had found her fountain of youth, her unconditional love, hidden deep within this man sitting mere inches from her. Now all she wanted to do was let him know that she understood, that she could see the same within him, that she loved the same within him.
Without realizing it, she had let her face drift towards him and she lifted her eyelids in hope that he could see what she wanted, but his eyes lids were already closing. As she closed her eyes as well, she felt the light brush of his lips against hers, soft and tender but intense, an amazing feeling like nothing she had ever experienced before. She supposed that was because for the first time she was kissing a man she loved, who loved her. Before her mind could ponder this any further she felt his fingers gently run over her upper arm and her mind clouded. All she could do was fall into it, press her lips back against his, needing to feel more of him, and she let her hand drift to his knee, possibly even higher.
He was caught up in the power of the kiss, climbing up the ladder of passion with each passing millisecond. Every inch of him was numb except for the parts of him where he could feel her delicate touch, her hand, her lips, the tickle of her hair on his face from the breeze of the cool air of the night sky. His only conscious thought was of the loud thump of his heart within his chest at the feeling of finally giving in, finally kissing her, the woman he had desired for so long. As he glided his hand down her arm to the curve of her waist, she shivered and let out a soft moan, her lips parting just enough to allow him to slide his tongue over her lower lip.
She reached out with her hand, grabbing onto whatever her fingers could reach, the smooth cotton of his flannel, holding tightly and pulling herself closer to him, pulling him closer to her. Parting her lips further, she allowed him to slip his tongue in her mouth, as he gently massaged her tongue with his own. Her brain was past full cognizance. She was light headed, dizzy, possibly beyond her last human breath and thus, slowly and reluctantly pulled back, still only mere centimeters between them.
He could hear her soft pant and feel the increase in pressure of her hand on his thigh. His eyes slowly opened to look down at her, but her eyelids were still closed, seemingly heavy form the intensity of the kiss or kisses, he wasn't sure how many to count that as, in his book it counted more than the thousands of kisses he had shared throughout his life. During these few precious moments neither moved, both letting the fog covering their brains slowly dissipate to an aura-like sensation.
Still breathing hard he pressed his lips to her forehead, sensing she needed to be soothed, needing a moment to calm himself as well. She pulled away slightly to allow herself to gaze up into his eyes, trying to keep herself from being overcome by the emotion she saw in the deep blue of his irises. "Luke," she said softly in a husky voice he had never heard before but made his name sound like a scene from Logan's Run.
"Hmmm...?" he grunted, his mind still not completely clear and his soft voice comforted. Suddenly she realized that sitting there on that bench with Luke, his arms around her, his head bent so that his forehead laid against hers, she never felt so safe and secure, so at home in all her life, and she was miles away from her actual home. This is what it must be like to be in love, she realized.
That was the instant she decided that what she was running way from these past two weeks no longer existed. Her loneliness and feeling of emptiness within that town without Rory, she didn't feel it anymore. Because when she went home, Luke would be there, just as he had always been for the past two years, but now she knew that she could trust in that. "Luke," she repeated, now having figured out exactly what she wanted to say. "Take me home."
