What's The Worst That Could Happen?
Author's Note: Looking for a comedy view this time around...
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the WWE and Vince McMahon do...
Summary: So what if they're locked in a locker room together and most of them hate each other... Okay, maybe it is a big deal. See what happens when you lock a load of wrestlers who don't like one another in a locker room for hours... The results don't look too good.
Characters: Chris Jericho, The Rock, Stone Cold, Trish Stratus, Team Extreme, Stacy Keibler, Torrie Wilson, RVD, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, and many more...
Timeframe: Around the time when Team Extreme was together, Triple H and Stephanie were married, and etc. (After the WCW/ECW vs. WWF).
Chapter Twelve - Spin The Bottle
As odd as this may sound, this chapter begins with everyone playing spin the bottle. Despite the fact that an old man and an old woman were present. Sadly, they skipped Vince and Linda's turn each and every time. They stated that they wouldn't be comfortable kissing their boss, or his wife.
"Stacy... How will this get us out of this locker room?" Trish asked as she spun the bottle.
"I don't know, but it's fun!" Stacy replied happily.
"Damnit!" Trish exclaimed as the bottle came to a stop before Hunter.
"Thank god we have rules that state that only women can kiss men and vise versa." Jericho commented.
"Do I have to?" Trish complained.
"No... I don't think the rules would force you to kiss Hunter." Torrie stated.
"You stupid bitch, the rules say whoever the bottle stops before you have to kiss them! Unless they are of the same sex!" Kurt snapped.
"Have you played this before?" Lita questioned.
"Ah, no..." Kurt mumbled.
Everyone shot him a curious look, no one actually believed that he had not played it for he seemed to have all the rules on lockdown. Someone coughed.
"Liar... Liar.." They mumbled as the coughed.
"Seriously, have you played?" Trish asked.
"Fine! I have! But it was only with some girls..." Kurt insisted.
"Damn, Kurt's a player." Jericho joked.
"Yeah, okay... Kurt is a bitch." Kane snapped.
"Hey! I resent that!" Kurt exclaimed.
"That's nice." Rock mumbled, shaking his head.
"Trish just kiss him so we can get on with this stupid game." Lita yelled.
"Geez." Trish muttered, rolling her eyes.
Trish quickly kissed Hunter and then started spitting.
"Ewww, gay homo germs!" Trish squealed.
Lita inched away from Trish and acted like it wasn't her turn.
"So, who's turn is it?" Lita asked as Trish kept spitting.
"Yours, jackass." Jericho replied.
Lita narrowed her eyes at him, he only shrugged innocently.
"Spin the fucking bottle." Austin sneered.
"Shut up! You're drunk!" Lita snapped.
"That I am." Austin agreed.
"Li, baby, just spin the bottle." Matt encouraged.
"Shut up, I'm still mad at you... Asshole..." Lita hissed.
An annoyed Lita spun the bottle and everyone watched the bottle spin. Hunter prayed it wouldn't land on him, while a few occupants of the room were praying it would land on them. And no, they weren't girls. Trish crossed her arms.
"You all act as if you're about to get sex." Trish sneered as she stared at Jericho.
"What?" Austin taunted.
Lita held her breath as the bottle kept spinning, someone held up their hand and glared at their watch.
"Is it just me or has that bottle been spinning for two minutes?" Vince questioned.
"Do you think the bottle is possessed?" Rock teased.
"Yeah, probably by the ghost of Vince's limo." Austin added.
"You still owe me a new limo!" Vince exclaimed.
"Like I care." Austin snapped.
"Dad, we already have three limos." Shane pointed out.
"When will this fucking bottle stop spinning!" Kane complained.
The group fell silent as the watched the bottle spin, still at a fast pace. Jeff glared at Lita and silently asked her what the hell was happening. Matt kept blinking as the bottle passed him, while Jericho kept getting his hopes up as it passed him. Edge glared at everyone and then crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.
"People... Why are we all stupid enough to believe that this bottle is possessed?" Edge asked.
"Because it won't stop." D-Von replied, watching the bottle go around again.
"Why can't you see that Stacy keeps pushing it when it comes by her?" Edge snapped.
Everyone glared at Stacy, who pushed it again as it came by her.
"Damn bitch! Stop it!" Jericho ordered.
Stacy jumped and then quickly kept her hands to herself.
"I didn't do anything." Stacy mumbled.
"Sure you didn't." Jericho stated sarcastically.
Finally the bottle slowed down and landed on...
"What the hell!" Lita exclaimed, crossing her arms.
"Haha!" Trish and Torrie teased.
"Well... At least it wasn't Kane." Lita commented.
"Hey!" Kane exclaimed, obviously offended.
"Sorry, Kane... No offense." Lita replied.
"None-taken, just don't tell anyone I let you get away with saying that." Kane stated.
"I don't think you realize this, but there is a room full of people listening." Edge pointed out.
"Shut up! No one likes you!" Lita snapped.
"Ch, that's not true... Right Hunter?" Edge asked, nudging Hunter.
"You called me gay." Hunter sneered.
"Oh, yeah, about that... I'm truly sorry.." Edge insisted.
"Edge, you want to join the 'Kiss Hunter's Ass' club?" Vince questioned.
"Will you two just kiss already?" Jericho complained, growing impatient.
"God damn you Jericho!" Lita hissed.
"What'd you think you could get out of it?" Rock asked.
"No, but you can't blame me for trying, can you?" Lita replied.
"No, I can't say I can." Rock mumbled, shaking his head.
"The clock is ticking..." Jericho pointed out.
"Fuck it! IF YOU TWO DON'T KISS NOW, THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE OUT INSTEAD OF JUST KISS! NOW GET A MOVE ON!" Hunter yelled.
Everyone stared at him and then Lita and Rock quickly did as told.
"Now was it that bad?" Jericho asked.
"Actually, no." Rock commented.
"Well... Wait, did you just say, no?" Jericho questioned.
"Yeah." Rock replied.
"And you?" Jericho asked, pointing to Lita.
"It wasn't... horrible... He's a better kisser than Matt." Lita stated.
"Excuse me?" Matt exclaimed.
"I'm not going to lie, you're a bad kisser." Lita replied.
"Well if you like him so much, why don't you go and date him?" Matt snapped.
"Okay." Lita responded.
"You aren't serious are you?" Matt questioned.
"Yes, I am." Lita stated.
"No one ask me." Rock mumbled.
"Hush, you're getting a girlfriend... You should be happy." Jericho pointed out.
"Don't get me wrong, she's hot, but not the type I'd date." Rock stated.
"So you two are like, broken up now?" Christian asked.
"Yes!" Matt and Lita both declared at the same time.
"Okay... Lita, you want to go out after we get out of here?" Christian questioned.
"Christian, you have a girlfriend." Benoit reminded.
"But, she's retarded! Why should I settle with her when I can have some better?" Christian snapped.
"I'm better?" Lita asked.
"Oh yeah." Christian replied, winking at her.
"Like you could stand a chance." Jericho mumbled.
"Why does everyone hit on my ex-girlfriend after we break up?" Matt questioned.
"Shut up, loser. You're the jackass that let her go, let other people get their chance." Jericho snapped.
Matt rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as Jeff tried to make the statue of liberty out of the pizza boxes that were left after the group ate the pizzas in a record time of five minutes. Trish sighed and picked up the bottle that Jeff had found in one of the boxes and then chucked it across the room. As odd as it may sound it knocked out the one of the people that had just walked in the room. The other person freaked out and slammed the door in anger.
"What the hell is your problem!" One of the exclaimed.
"Who the hell are you?" Austin questioned. "Am I seeing things? Am I really that drunk?"
"Do you want me to answer that honestly?" Benoit asked.
"Ese, we're sorry about your friend. He probably deserved it though." Eddie stated.
"Deserved it? He deserved to come here for an interview and get hit in the head with a bottle? Why the hell are you all in here anyway? Is this how WWF works, then fuck it! I'd rather stay in OVW!" He snapped.
"Oh my god! You're Randy Orton, aren't you?" Vince asked.
"Yes..." Randy replied, nodding.
"And that must be John Cena!" Vince exclaimed, glaring at the guy who laid on the floor.
"Yeah, that was John Cena... But I'm not sure if you killed him or not." Randy sneered.
"I'm sorry?" Trish offered.
"You threw it?" Randy questioned.
"Accidentally?" Trish replied.
"Damnit, Trish you're fired!" Vince snapped.
"What! All I did was knock him out..." Trish complained.
As Trish said that John started moving.
"SEE!" Trish exclaimed, pointing at him.
"Well... Then you're going to lose the title." Vince hissed.
Vince got off his spot on the floor and walked over to the two men.
"I'm the owner of the WWF, Vincent Kennedy McMahon." Vince announced.
"Nice to meet you, again." Randy replied.
"Oh, yeah that's right... You're Cowboy Bob's son!" Vince exclaimed.
"Are you seriously here for a job?" Shane asked.
"What time is it?" Linda questioned.
"Holy shit! It's six!" Shane screeched.
"Damn, we need sleep." Kurt commented.
"Did you round all these people up to meet us or scare us?" Randy asked.
"Neither... We're stuck. And now you are too." Vince replied.
"No! I'm too young to die!" Randy exclaimed.
"What, you're dying? Try I'm dying... Damn, who threw a bottle at me?" John questioned as he sat up.
"It was Trish." Lita informed him.
"Lita! I thought we were friends!" Trish snapped.
"Where on earth did you get that idea?" Lita asked.
John shook his head and started to get up, checking for any traces of blood.
"Am I bleeding?" John questioned Randy.
"No, man... You're okay..." Randy replied.
"Are you two gay?" Hunter asked.
Jericho, Kurt and Eddie stared at him.
"Why ese, do you want a gay partner?" Eddie teased.
"I... I absolutely do not!" Hunter insisted.
"The taller one, right?" Trish asked.
"Oh yeah." Hunter replied.
"I am not hearing this." Lita mumbled, covering her ears.
"Hey, do either of you have any food?" Jeff asked.
"Yeah, I have…. Skittles?" John informed him, pulling out a red bag of skittles.
Jeff's eyes widened and he leaped up, ran over to John, stole the skittles and then rushed into the bathroom to have them all to himself. Everyone stared forward, trying to process what just happened in their heads.
"We did not just see that, did we?" Lita questioned.
"Nope… Didn't see a thing." John replied.
To Be Continued...
