Dib marched out of the garage and picked an irate CB out of the ground. "Okay, so Irkens can recognize alien races just by scanning them. So, despite the fact that I really did not want to resort to this, I am going to need you to call Zim ."

" No ."

"What do you mean no?"

" No. You left me out here in the grass. "

"Don't be a bitch CB, call Zim."

" No. I do not want to. "

"Then I guess I will just go to him myself and tell him how you broke your grounding to come out with me." CB for all his sass and insults, still seemed to listen to Zim . It was kind of funny to imagine CB as Zim's rebellious teenage son.

" ... fine ." The cellphone pulled up the call screen and dialed Zim without Dib having to push a single button.

"What do you want?" It was just like Zim to sound annoyed. It wasn't like the Irken slept ( though apparently , he could if he wanted) so Dib doubted he was interrupting anything. Dib sighed heavily as he headed back to his car.

"Okay, so I'm pretty sure my roommate, Clark, is actually part of the Galactic Syndicate- or at the very least: an alien." Dib let it all out at once. It felt good telling someone who really, truly understood what was at stake.

"Kay." Zim didn't sound all that concerned; that was a frustrating turn of events.

"So, I'm going to need you to help me analyze him."

"Oh." The reply was just as flat and disinterested. "Yeah. No. I talked to Skoodge, he thinks we should drop the investigation for a bit since we got our hands on the weapon. We don't really want to draw the attention of the Syndicate survivors to us."

"Damn it Zim! My roommate is one of those Syndicate survivors!" Dib insisted, before hesitantly adding: "I mean, probably."

"So, what exactly did you want Zim to do about this?"

"I need you to come and meet him. Tak's ship told me you could scan him with your PAK. Then I can prove he's an alien and save the Earth."

" Zim's PAK is incredible and I could easily determine the species and alignment of you 'roommate'. BUT! I will not. Skoodge has raised many excellent points about why we should not do that." It seemed not even Zim's ego could change his mind on this. The more Skoodge got involved with things, the less Dib was starting to like him (and Dib hadn't been a fan of Skoodge from the start).

"If you like Skoodge so much why don't you just marry him?"

"Zim has been bonded before and doesn't want to go through that again right now."

"What?"

"What?" Zim repeated the question back at him. Dib had not followed that sentence in the slightest. He was able to figure out that the word 'bonded' probably meant something akin to marriage for Irkens, but that was about it.

"Look, Zim," Dib didn't have the energy to deal with this. "This is really important." Reason wasn't going to work. Zim needed incentive. "And if you do it, I'll clean up after GIR for a week."

"Deal." Zim's response was instant. "But Skoodge won't like it."

"Fuck Skoodge."

"I can hear you, you know. I'm in the room." Dib furrowed his brow as the unmistakable voice of Skoodge came over the line. " Zim is sitting next to me."

"I bet you feel stupid. " He could hear CB's voice in the background of the call and recalled that he was able to occupy the house as well is his phone. If CB weren't both creepy and an asshole, Dib would have been impressed. " You thought Zim was alone but he was actually with Skoodge the entire time you were talking. "

"CB has been sneaking out of the house while pretending to be my phone." Dib wasn't about to take shit from a computer.

"CB! No! You were commanded to be grounded! You must listen to Zim !" Zim immediately jumped onto the new topic. "Now you must be grounded for quadruple forever.

"Traitor ." CB huffed.

"Your home base AI is awfully disobedient." Skoodge commented in the background. "Has it always been that way, even before the updates you made?"

"You guys are getting off topic! This is about Earth, remember? And the impending Syndicate invasion?" Things had been easier when they were just Zim and Dib. Getting Skoodge involved had caused a lot of unnecessary complications. He wasn't even sure why Zim was so keen to listen to this guy anyway. Zim didn't like to listen to anyone.

Maybe he was just lonely.

" Invasion is a strong word for it." Skoodge replied dryly. "They crash-landed here, if you recall, any plans the Syndicate has for Earth are incidental at best."

"Shut up, Skoodge , this doesn't involve you."

"Well, actually if we are going to be analyzing your roommate it does."

"I asked Zim . Not you."

" Skoodge has been helping me update my disguise!" Zim interjected. "It is truly hideous now! I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. It is only slightly less freakishly ugly than you are, Dib-slug!" The Irken sounded incredibly pleased with himself on this fact. Dib hated to admit it, but improvements to Zim's disguise were probably a good thing. He just didn't want to give Skoodge any credit for helping since he had protested Dib's investigation at almost every turn.

"It's more human now. The previous disguise would not have fooled even the most basic of cadets. Plus, on the off chance Zim and I are confronted, having two Irkens is better than just one. Though we aren't technically doing anything wrong by being here. It's best just to avoid drawing attention to ourselves this far out of Irken territory."

"And we are Invaders." Zim agreed. "And technically I was supposed to conquer your pathetic dirt hole. It's just that I deemed it not worth the Empire's resources. But the Syndicate doesn't know that so theoretically this could look bad."

" So what's the plan? You guys want to scope him out at our place or what?"

"We should do a public area." Skoodge was quick to dismiss the idea. "On the off-chance that this roommate is actually something very dangerous like the Parasite you encountered, it would be best to be in a public place where he'll be limited in his actions. It is unlikely he'll want to cause a scene around the locals. It would put his whole ship at risk."

"Okay, I'll work something out with Clark. Then, I'll send you the information so you can meet us." Finally, he was getting somewhere.

He hurried back to the apartment, of course Clark was nowhere to be found but the door to his room was closed so Dib assumed he was asleep already. The excitement of the impending trap had Dib on edge, sleep was difficult, so eventually he just gave up and decided to actually work on his schoolwork for once.

CB was either gone from the phone, thanks to Zim , or ignoring Dib because the Membrane clone had outed him. Either way, it was nice to finally get some peace and quiet. Dib realized he had been a little negligent in his schooling as he scrolled through his e-mails to find a very sternly worded letter from Doctor Rosenberg reminding him that he was at a school and some degree of attendance would be necessary if he wanted a passing grade.

It was true- he'd gotten involved in the matters of planetary safety and the last time he had even thought about anything related to his major- it was when he accused Clark of letting Dr. Rosenberg into his room at three in the morning. And while Dib had no intention of attending his next class (he had already made his plans to trap Clark), he figured he should at least turn in a few of the assignments with upcoming due-dates.

About two papers in, he heard the sounds of movement in the kitchen and immediately dropped what he was doing to skid out into the shared living area where Clark was almost to the door, backpack slung over his shoulder. The (probable) alien nearly dropped his bag as Dib barged in. "What are you doing up at this hour? I didn't think you knew that eight in the morning existed."

"Bold of you to assume I sleep." Dib retorted as Clark just grinned, composing himself. "Look, Clark, my friend Zim and his friend are going to be in town today and I was wondering if you wanted to grab a quick lunch or something? You've been talking about how much you wanted to meet him." This was the perfect plan; no way Clark would be able to fool Irken Invaders. (Well... one Irken Invader and one... just plain Irken ). Skoodge was a bit unsettling, but he apparently had at least one conquered planet on his resume, so he must know what he's doing.

"I dunno dude, what time?"

"Like... noon? You're out of lab by then, right? I mean the time is up to you. They're in town for a little while." This was annoying, the plan wouldn't work if Clark didn't come.

"I kinda had stuff to do today, but we could grab some takeout and eat here so I can work on things. That should be fine, right?"

It wasn't ideal, but Dib would take what he could get. "Yeah sure, that café down the street has good food and we can walk to our place from there."

"Perfect! I really have to run though so we can talk later! I'll meet you at the café!" Clark more or less shouted the reply at Dib as he bolted through the door. Well... it had worked, he had gotten Clark to agree to meet them and that was enough.

He went back to his room in an attempt to call Zim again but his phone just showed him a middle finger emoji and shut off. Dib sighed.

"Oh, so you are still in there."

The phone powered itself on. " You got me into trouble. "

"You got yourself into trouble, I just made Zim aware of the situation." Dib countered. The glowing blue eye took over the screen again and narrowed judgmentally . "Now stop being a baby and let me call Zim ."

"Or you will what? "

"Or I will do a complete system wipe." He had actually been meaning to do it for some time, but CB had occasionally still proved useful. There was a bit of silence as the AI seemed to weigh its options, contemplating if Dib was being serious or not.

"Very well. " Zim's number dialed itself.

"You have the information?" Zim didn't even bother with greetings as he picked up the phone.

"Yeah, we're meeting at the Cool Bean Café. It's right down from my apartment. Then you guys can come back with us and we'll eat it at our place. Clark says he doesn't have enough time to stick around and sit down... I have kind of been dragging him out a lot recently." He wanted to blame the inconvenience on Clark avoiding his inevitable capture, but the likely explanation was that, unlike Dib, Clark cared about his grades.

"I thought we were doing the entire encounter publicly ." Skoodge's input suggested Zim had just put Dib on speaker.

"Well Clark doesn't have time. Don't worry they're college apartments, he won't be able to do much without alerting the entire floor- they aren't exactly sound proof."

"I suppose it will have to do." The chubby Irken sounded far from thrilled.

"It isn't like they will see through our brilliant Irken disguises!" Zim , on the other hand, sounded excited. "I will become hideous like the Dib-filth!"

"You always flatter me so much." He rolled his eyes but it was wasted over the phone. "I'll meet you both at the café at noon. Don't be late."

"We won't." Skoodge assured him.

"THE CAFÉ WILL HAVE NO IDEA THAT THERE ARE IRKEN INVADERS DOING A TOP SECRET MISSION IN IT'S INNOCENT LITTLE BOOTHS!"

"How did you know they had booths?' Skoodge sounded impressed.

" Zim's been there before." Dib was quick to explain.

"Yes! Zim enjoys their muffins!" It was a simple statement but Zim sounded as if this were vital intel being exchanged.

"Right." Dib sighed. "Okay I'll see you both in a few hours." He needed to find something to do to occupy himself as well. "Bye."

He went back to his schoolwork, but it was hard to focus as the minutes seemed to drag into hours. All he wanted was for it to be noon and for him to be proven right, once and for all, about his evil, alien roommate and his nefarious Syndicate allegiance .

It was finally close to noon and Dib practically ran to the café looking around for Zim and Skoodge . He had only seen Skoodge's human disguise briefly but he was certain his expert alien-detection skill would help him find the two. It was almost instinct .

"AT LAST MUFFINS!" It wasn't like he had to try hard as he saw a robust strawberry blonde man with a slightly shorter, slender man with familiar red eyes and black hair.

"Hey," Dib walked casually over to them, looking the new Zim up and down. Freckles, slicked back hair, and muffin crumbs all over his face- there was no doubt it was Zim . "You guys did a really good job." He had to give credit where it was due.

"Zim fought me every step of the way, but here we are." Skoodge sounded tired.

"I didn't want to look hideous, but you're right. That is the point of a disguise." Zim still sounded a tad indignant and Dib felt vaguely as if he had missed some part of an argument. "So which one of these disgusting human worms is the suspected Syndicate scum? Because these are all humans."

"He's not here." Dib pulled out his phone only to see a text from Clark.

Roommate (12:01PM): Hey got held up a bit, go ahead and get in line, I'm almost there.

Dib sighed, putting his phone back. "Let's go ahead and get in line, you two start thinking about what you want." This was taking forever .

"The chili cheese dog sounds interesting." Skoodge seemed more open to human food than Zim .

" Zim will get another muffin!" They shifted into the line as Dib shifted anxiously from foot to foot, constantly checking his watch and phone. He felt... hot, tugging at his collar as time continued to creep along. Skoodge was enthralled by the menu and Zim was playing with a straw, trying to balance it on his new (assumedly fake) nose.

" Heya ~" Dib, Skoodge , and Zim nearly jumped out of their respective skins as Dib felt a heavy pressure on his shoulders. He saw Clark's grinning face next to his, the shorter, scrawny boy with an arm around his shoulders. "Sorry I'm late!"

"Oh no problem." Dib waved him off. " Zim brought his friend Skoodge along, hope that's okay." He pointed to each of the Irkens in turn.

"Howdy! Nice to meet you!" Clark offered his hand to Zim who stared at it blankly for a second. Skoodge quickly took the offered hand.

"Pleasure." He smiled. Again, Dib found himself impressed by Skoodge's mastery of Earthly mannerism. "Forgive Zim , he's a germaphobe."

"Understandable." Clark seemed unphased. "I love those names though! Zim ? Skoodge ? They're really different!"

"Nicknames." It was Dib's turn to interject as he had been so accustomed to people just... not questioning things that he couldn't believe he had just tried to pass the name ' Skoodge ' off as a human name. "I mean, you know Dib isn't my real name either."

"I had a feeling, but you never told me your actual name." Dib rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, don't laugh."

"I won't."

"It's: Diego Isandro Bolivar Membrane Junior."

"That's a lot of names." Zim remarked flatly. "You don't need that many. And how many letters is that? Too many! That's how many !" They had reached the front window and Skoodge very quickly turned away from the group and began to order. Clark had pulled out his phone (which was a little unlike him) and was looking at the screen, annoyed.

"Clark, your order?" Dib nudged him.

"Hm? Yeah." He put his phone down for a second and ordered. "Sorry these group projects get frustrating." He quickly typed out a message and put it back. "I know you guys probably wanted to eat here, but you'll like our place. Dib has a giant TV."

"You know, if things are getting a little busy for you, we can just call it here." Skoodge offered politely. Dib figured they had already completed the scan and was trying very hard to read their expressions but both Irkens had impressive poker faces. Dib figured it was because a great deal of their expression was through their antennae and thus they didn't really know how to do much with their faces. It was a little aggravating - he wanted to know.

"No no ! It's fine. At least stay for a movie!" Clark laughed. "I'm good."

"School's important. We don't want -"

"I insist." He chuckled. "I need the break."

They received their food as Dib continued to try and analyze the two Irkens to no avail. Zim was being a little quiet though, and that was unlike him. He could have just been bored of the situation- that did tend to happen with Zim .

"Well... lead the way." Skoodge looked at his food with a sense of satisfaction. At least one Irken wasn't completely disgusted by human cuisine.

"This way~" Clark took the lead heading out the door and down the road. "You guys should check out the campus! It is so much fun! And there is a lot to do around here!" He talked happily to the group though no one was really replying. "Zim , how long have you known Dib anyway?"

"Too long." Zim retorted dryly. That sounded like Zim . Dib was now fairly certain the smaller Invader was just bored.

"Are you guys in school around here?" Clark was trying to make small talk.

"Oh, no not yet. I just moved." Skoodge was surprisingly quick in his responses as opposed to Zim who had a tendency to hem and haw his way through simple conversations. "But I'm interested in culinary school. I've always been a bit of a foodie."

"Skoodge is really good at eating." Zim agreed in a way that might have been intended to be complimentary but just sounded (to Dib at least) like an insult. "He could decimate an entire planet with his appetite!"

"I can respect that." Clark sounded amused. "Have you two known each other long? I mean I assume so given you have those crazy nicknames for each other."

"Since we were sm -" Dib had the sinking suspicion that Zim wanted to say ' since we were smeets ' but Skoodge's laugh cut him off as the Invader wrapped an arm around Zim in what looked like just a teasing hug.

"Since we were small." Skoodge finished Zim's sentence seamlessly. "Zack and I go way back. We actually grew up together. I missed him when he moved here."

"You missed me?" Zim looked genuinely touched. "Well of course you did, who wouldn't!? I'm simply too amazing to be without."

"I came all the way here, didn't I?" Skoodge ruffled Zim's wig in what looked to be an affectionate manner (Though Dib noted that he was careful not to mess it up too badly, it still looked like real, human hair as Zim fixed it back). "Home was just a little less amazing without you."

"Aww that's sweet~" Clark chuckled. "So Zim's real name is Zack huh?"

"Zim is Zack, I'm Skyler. I feel like I got the short end of the nickname stick though." Skoodge laughed rubbing his neck.

"I'm excited to finally meet you! Dib talks about you all the time!" Clark pulled keys out of his pocket as they reached the apartment door. "Come on in! I can get us some drinks! Do you guys want anything." He held open the door, ushering the others in. Dib almost felt guilty for socially trapping the invaders over what actually may have been a false alarm. (Actually. It would be interesting to see Skoodge act human for a day.)

"No no we're fine." Skoodge waved the offer off. Clark shrugged, finally closing the door behind them.

"You don't have to stay long." Dib heard the definitive click of a lock. "You just have to stay long enough to tell me what the hell you Irkens think you're doing." Clark's smile completely melted away as he fumbled with his backpack, pulling out what looked to be some sort of laser weapon. He pointed it directly at the two Irkens. "By order of the Galactic Syndicate: Identify yourself."

Skoodge sighed looking down at his hotdog in disappointment. " Mothra damn it . I didn't even get to take a bite."