What's The Worst That Could Happen?
Author's Note: Looking for a comedy view this time around...
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the WWE and Vince McMahon do...
Summary: So what if they're locked in a locker room together and most of them hate each other... Okay, maybe it is a big deal. See what happens when you lock a load of wrestlers who don't like one another in a locker room for hours... The results don't look too good.
Characters: Chris Jericho, The Rock, Stone Cold, Trish Stratus, Team Extreme, Stacy Keibler, Torrie Wilson, RVD, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, and many more...
Timeframe: Around the time when Team Extreme was together, Triple H and Stephanie were married, and etc. (After the WCW/ECW vs. WWF).
Chapter Fourteen - A First Date In A Locker Room
After a short 'discussion', Torrie and Trish decided to set John and Lita's first date up. Odd enough, they did in fact plan on the two having a date in the locker room. It wasn't exactly an idea that the two were all that thrilled about. Lita snorted after Trish revealed the plans for the date.
"Have you ever considered that if John and I stay together and get married and someday have kids...that maybe the kids would resent us when we tell them that our FIRST date was in a locker room in front of twenty people?" Lita questioned.
Trish rolled her eyes, "Think about it Lita! It'll take him two years to get the guts to propose--no offence."
John sent a pointed glare at the blonde as she continued.
"And it'll sadly take him a year to actually get married to you and it'll take nine months for the baby to come!" Trish stated.
Weird "To The Future" Thing... Psst, Two Years Later...
John got down on one knee and asked the redhead to marry him. At that moment in time they realized that Trish was right! It took him two years... They exchanged a look and John put the ring away, stating that he'd ask her after a year passed so that Trish wouldn't be right. The redhead nodded, reminding him that this never happened before they continued eating dinner.
End The Weird "To The Future" Thing... Psst, Two Years Sooner...
After the two of them had the same 'flash ahead', John and Lita stared at each other.
"You wouldn't wait three years to prove her wrong, would you?" Lita asked.
"Ch, no... I'd propose before that." John insisted.
Jeff looked up from the skittle bag he had been staring at for the past hour.
"Why are you talking about marriage?"
Lita and John stared at Jeff, both of them shrugging and mumbling something about Jeff hearing things.
"Do you think there are toilets in heaven?" Stacy blurted out, looking around the room.
In turn, everyone stared at her. Why did they have to be stuck in a locker room with a mentally retarded person?
"Of course, Stac'." Christian replied.
"How would you even know that?" Jericho snapped.
"I JUST DO!" Christian shot back.
"But how?" Kane asked.
Eddie put a hand on the big mans shoulder, "Ese, it's something we probably don't want to know."
"Yeah." Benoit and Kurt agreed, nodding.
"Where are we?" Stacy questioned stupidly.
"Heaven... We were all killed by your annoying stupid-ness." Rock hissed.
"Oh, how sad.. Where are the toilets?" Stacy beamed.
Austin stared down at an empty beer can, "Does anyone have any more beer?"
"I can go get you some." Hurricane stated.
Hurricane leaped up and stood in the center of the room, everyone watching as he disappeared. They all kept staring, even thought he wasn't there anymore. Suddenly when he reemerged with two 24 packs of beer they started shaking their heads.
"YOU CAN GET THIS DRUNK ASSHOLE SOME BEER, BUT YOU CAN'T GET US OUT OF HERE!" Jericho yelled, clenching his fists.
"You're going down, bitch!" Edge shouted as he leaped up off the floor.
To everyone's surprise Edge literally speared Hurricane and then spit on him before he slapped Molly for moving.
"He's lost it." Kurt mumbled.
"He's so cruel." Rob commented.
"SHUT UP!" Edge ordered, looking at those who had spoken.
It was obvious that Edge was either crazy or very, very, very tired. Either way, Hurricane was knocked out and Molly was screaming something about ripping her cape. Another thing that became very obvious was that Hunter was very much attracted to Randy as he inched closer and closer. Randy was on the verge of crying as Hunter touched his arm. Everyone staring at the two.
"My god, get the gay guy away from him!" Jericho screamed after shaking his head.
"He's GAY!" Randy shrieked, inching away from Hunter.
While Hunter drooled over Randy, John was the one that had to 'save' Randy by dragging him to the other end of the room.
"No fair." Hunter pouted. "See you later..."
In the most girly voice a guy could EVER have, Hunter finished his sentence. This scared most of the people in the room, however Austin was too busy fetching his beer to say a word. He gave a Hunter the middle finger after he picked up the two packs of beer.
-x-xx-x-
As Trish and Torrie had planned the two were going to have their first date in the locker room. Austin hissing at anyone who looked at his beer before he gave them the middle finger and then spit some of his beer out at them. Edge was rocking back and forth, going insane as he laughed evilly. Stacy was writing in her diary about 'heaven' while Christian read over her shoulder. Jeff was still staring at the empty bag of skittles, green eyes widening as he stared harder and harder at the words on the bag. Molly was attempting to sew her cape back together, not caring that Hurricane was most likely dead - not really, but what if he was?
"Almost everything possible has happened in this locker room.. Anyone a certified minister? Anyone want to get married?" Jericho asked harshly.
"I want to get married!" Hunter exclaimed. "To him."
He smirked at Randy, waving at him as Randy shook his head in disgust. Stephanie got up and slapped Hunter.
"WE'VE GOT TO GET A DIVORCE FIRST, DUMBASS!" Stephanie yelled as she slapped him again.
Hunter started screaming like a little girl as Stephanie kept slapping him, everyone watching on in amusement. Linda finally stepped in, pulling Stephanie away from Hunter and back into her 'place'.
"Anyone a certified judge? So we can divorce them?" Kurt asked.
"Kurt!" Vince exclaimed. "I'm shocked that you don't remember that I'm a judge too!"
"You are?" Shane inquired as he blinked.
"Yay!" Stephanie cheered happily. "You're going to lose!"
She stuck her tongue out at Hunter who rolled his eyes at her before he started staring at Randy again. While Trish and Torrie directed traffic, ordering everyone to act like random citizens while they forced Lita and John to sit down.
"You guys can play two player spin the bottle! It'll always land on the person you want it to!" Torrie beamed.
"She's got a point." Rob agreed.
Matt scowled, crossing his arms as Trish put a bottle between them and spun it.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Lita exclaimed.
"I know.. I only came for a job interview and I'm getting hit on!" Randy cried. "BY A MAN!"
Everyone stared at Hunter, who was again very close to the young man.
"Go back to your hole, bitch!" Austin ordered, spitting some of his beer out at Hunter.
Hunter screamed, claiming he was blind before he started running around, coincidentally running into the door and knocking himself out. Randy stopped crying and was now happy, Trish and Torrie hiding behind him with binoculars in hand, hoping to 'spy' on Lita and John as their date officially started.
"This is so pathetic." Lita mumbled.
"Let's not count this on our first date." John offered.
"Lets." Lita agreed.
"KISS NOW!" Trish yelled before hiding again.
Hazel eyes narrowed at the blonde, who put the binoculars to her eye again, zooming in and out as John quickly kissed the redhead. It was a quick two-second kiss that Trish could have and would have missed if she would have blinked.
"THAT WAS A WIMPY KISS!" Torrie screamed from behind Randy.
"Yeah, step up Cena!" Christian shouted.
Everyone stared at Christian, who only shrugged.
"I wanted to be apart of it." Christian explained.
"Like it's that big of a deal…" Matt hissed.
"You're just jealous that it isn't you." Christian snapped.
"COME ON!" Trish shrieked, impatiently. "KISS!"
"Is your love life that sad?" Lita questioned.
"Yes, but that doesn't make a difference!" Trish replied.
Lita rolled her eyes, shaking her head before she glared at John.
"We could make a run for it." John stated.
"Where could we 'run'? We're in a locker room, remember?" Lita pointed out.
"There is a bathroom." John reminded with a smirk.
The two glared at the bathroom, Trish and Torrie quickly running out of the hiding places.
"DON'T!" They ordered.
However, they were too late. The two had quickly locked themselves in the bathroom, more to get away from Trish and Torrie and anything else.
"WHO'S IDEA WAS IT TO PUT THE LOCK ON THE OTHER SIDE?" Trish cried as she tried opening the door.
"Whoever built the arena." Shane informed her.
Trish sent him a dirty look before she tried to open the door a few more times. She finally started trying to pick the lock, sadly she couldn't get in and now she was crying because she didn't know what was going on in the bathroom.
Inside The Bathroom..
The two had decided their best bet would be to be as quiet as possible as they talked, the hadn't had any intentions of doing anything more than just that. They heard Trish whining to Rock and Jericho, who were both 'fascinated' with the story she was telling.
To Be continued…
