Chapter 10 Zak Tells All

ND25 repositioned Zak's leg in the sling before it left. Zak thought about those words until he finally fell asleep, hoping against hope that ND25 was right; but why would the Jedi take him back when he was no longer any use to them?

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Obi-Wan rose early the next morning and carefully avoided the other members of the Council; his Force sense still had not returned and he had no desire to discuss this painful subject with anyone. He went quickly to the kitchens, grabbed a quick bite and took a speeder to the medical center. There were few visitors this early in the morning and Obi-Wan did not even have to wait for a lift to take him up the two levels to Zak's room. As he walked out of the lift, he was met by ND25, "Master Kenobi, may I have a word with you?" It asked politely.

"Yes, of course. Is it about Zak? He's alright, isn't he?" Obi-Wan asked anxiously.

"Well, physically, he continues to improve; however,…tsk…well, may I ask you…tsk…when you informed Zak that you would take him home, where is home?" ND25 asked.

"Where is…here on Coruscant, of course; why?" Obi-Wan replied, "No, he can't be thinking I would take back to Belarid."

"Yes, Master Kenobi, that is exactly what he thinks." ND25 told him.

"Did he tell you this?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Oh, yes…tsk…he was crying last night; I thought he was in pain, so I went in to check on him. He thought when you said you would take him home, that you were referring to Belarid." ND25 answered.

"Why would I take him back there? He was seriously injured there, probably by his brother; that's the last place I would take him." Obi-Wan replied.

"Well, I hope you will clarify that for him, then." ND25 said.

"Yes, I think I'd better." Obi-Wan answered.

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When Zak opened his eyes, the sun was streaming through the window. He turned to look out, and noticed his master, sitting in the chair by the window with his legs spread comfortably, one hand resting on the arm of the chair and the other stroking his beard.

"Good morning, Padawan." He said pleasantly.

Zak stretched and struggled to sit up; Obi-Wan stood quickly to help him, "I can do it." Zak told him, irritatingly.

Obi-Wan ignored him as he put his hand behind Zak's back, pushed him forward and then adjusted the pillows so that he could sit up, "You're a little grumpy this morning." He said as he sat back down.

Zak looked down and then toward to the doorway, "I'm sorry, Master; I guess I didn't sleep very well last night." He replied, apologetically.

"Yes, well, I can understand that; considering what's on your mind." Obi-Wan said, "Look at me, Zak."

However, Zak just looked down again.

"Look at me." Obi-Wan said again, firmer, this time.

When Zak continued to look down at his lap, Obi-Wan sighed, "I understand that you don't want to go home." He began.

"I never said that." Zak denied.

"Not to me, you haven't; no." Obi-Wan replied.

"He told you, didn't he." Zak said, defensively. "It's none of his business."

"Oh, yes; it is, Zak. You're his patient, and your welfare is very important to him." Obi-Wan told him, "Now, where do you think your home is?"

"Belarid." Zak answered.

"Belarid; where you were nearly killed. Where everyone, including your own family, sees you as a freak. That's where you think your home is?" Obi-Wan questioned.

"Well, that's where I was born." Zak replied.

"And you can honestly lay there and think that I would take you back to that place?" Obi-Wan asked.

Zak continued to stare down into his lap and said nothing.

"Alright; where did you grow up?" Obi-Wan asked.

"On Belarid." Zak answered.

"Really? When did you leave there?" Obi-Wan asked.

"You know when I left." Zak replied.

"So, you think you were grown up by the age of four?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Well, I…" Zak started.

"I thought you grew up at the Jedi Temple." Obi-Wan said.

Zak did not answer.

"Listen, Zak; home is not always where you were born. I was born light years from here, but Coruscant, the Jedi Temple is my home. You came to the Temple when you were four and you are nearly thirteen now. You have lived most of your life with us and I think you have been happier with us than you would have been on Belarid; that is if you had even managed to live past the age of five." Obi-Wan told him. "How could you ever think that I was talking about Belarid when I said I would take you home?"

"But, I'm not a Jedi any longer." Zak answered.

"You're not? When did this happen?" Obi-Wan asked. "I don't remember you saying anything about quitting."

"But how can I be a Jedi without the Force?" Zak asked.

"Zak, in the first place, we don't even know that this isn't reversible; and in the second place, the Jedi are not just going to turn their backs on you. I am not going to turn my back on you. Your home is the Jedi Temple no matter how this turns out." Obi-Wan answered.

Zak put his hands up to face and started to cry.

"What's wrong now?" Obi-Wan asked, standing again and putting a hand on Zak's shoulder.

"I'm so stupid." Zak sobbed.

"Stupid? No, you just misunderstood, that's all. It's alright; come on now." Obi-Wan said gently.

"I should have known better; I'm sorry, Master." Zak said, tearfully.

"It's alright; you have been through quite a bit in the last few days, but you must never think that I would ever just dump you off somewhere; especially Belarid." Obi-Wan assured him.

"Yes, Master." Zak answered, contritely.

"That's better; now, can you tell me what happened?" Obi-Wan asked.

"I told you, I fell." Zak lied.

"I don't think so; you're more sure-footed than that." Obi-Wan said, "Was it Terak?"

"I fell." Zak repeated the lie.

"Why are you covering for him?" Obi-Wan wanted to know.

"I'm not; I told you, I fell." Zak continued to lie.

"Zak, a Jedi should never lie." Obi-Wan told him, "Now, just tell me what happened."

Zak paused for a moment before answering, "I can't." He said quietly.

"Why? Because he's your brother?" Obi-Wan asked.

Zak nodded.

"But, Zak, he nearly killed you." Obi-Wan persisted.

"But he's my brother." Zak protested.

"What did he do, Zak?" Obi-Wan asked.

Zak heaved a great sigh before he finally answered, "I went out to that place to meditate. I finally figured out why Master Yoda sent me there, and I wanted to meditate on that for a while. Then I sensed him coming, he was full of hate and I felt as if he wanted to fight. He screamed that I should be dead and that I was a…a…freak and that I didn't deserve to live. I…I tried to reason with him, Master; but he wouldn't listen. He tried to hit me, but I dodged away and told him that we were leaving soon; he said it was already too late and that I should never have come back. I told him he was my brother, but that only made him angrier and he screamed 'Don't call me that, you freak.' I asked why he was doing this but he asked me if Jedi could fly and then threw himself at me. I knew that if he hit me with his full weight, both of us would fall off the ledge, and I knew if I flipped out of his way that he would fall; so I Force pushed him when he hit me." He told him.

"And you went over and he didn't. That was a very selfless thing to do, Padawan." Obi-Wan said.

"He's my brother." Zak replied.

"Not really; Master Anakin and I are more like brothers than you and Terak." Obi-Wan answered.

"I know." Zak sighed, "I just wish it could have been different."

"Master Yoda says that he's sorry he ever made you go there." Obi-Wan said.

"I'm not; at least now I know I never belonged there." Zak replied.

"Really? Even though you were almost killed?" Obi-Wan wondered.

"Well, I could have done without that." Zak answered; a little smile finally appeared on his face.

"Zak, do you remember anything after you fell?" Obi-Wan asked.

Zak frowned in thought and rubbed his temple, "I remember strange things; like people, younglings, talking to me and then…Luke, I remember Luke saying something." He recalled.

"Sackie's lost." Obi-Wan interjected.

"Yes, that's it; how did you know?" Zak asked.

"When I found you, that's all you said." Obi-Wan answered, "What about the younglings who were talking to you; could you hear what they were saying?"

"I can't remember." Zak told him.

"That's alright; it will come to you." Obi-Wan assured him.

ND25 entered the room a short time later with Zak's breakfast and the dressings he would need to treat Obi-Wan's wrist one last time.

"Are you feeling better now, Zak?" ND25 asked.

"Well, except for the fact that I feel like I've been attacked by an angry gundark and have lost the Force, I feel fine." Zak answered.

"Ah, then no more worries about where your home is?" It asked.

"No, you were right." Zak admitted.

"Good, very good; now let's just see how you're doing…yes…oh yes…much better." It said as he scanned Zak's injuries. "I think we can take this out now." It added as it carefully pulled the tube from Zak's nose.

"That feels better; can I get up now?" Zak asked as he rubbed the side of his nose.

"Oh, I would like to give that another day to give your internal injuries time to heal." ND 25 answered.

"Oh, alright." Zak responded, clearly disappointed.

"However, I could arrange for a hover chair. Perhaps, Master Kenobi could take you for a little ride." ND25 suggested, turning its attention to Obi-Wan's injury, "And this is coming along very nicely. You may remove this dressing this evening." It reported as it examined the pink healthy new growth of skin over the burned area.

"Well, I guess it would be better than sitting here all day." Zak said.

"Yes, it definitely would be." ND25 concurred, "Eat your breakfast, Zak, and I will return shortly."

On cue, ND25 returned with the promised hover chair, "Now, you must not overdo it this first time, Zak." It warned. "Twenty minutes at the most; and if you feel tired before that, let Master Kenobi know so he can bring you back here."

"I understand." Zak answered impatiently.

Obi-Wan extracted Zak's leg from the sling and carefully picked him up to transfer him to the chair. Zak let out a small groan as he felt pain from his broken ribs and internal injuries, "I'm sorry, Zak." Obi-Wan said.

"It's alright; I guess you were right, ND, I'm not ready to get up and walk yet." Zak admitted.

"Yes." ND25 replied. "Now, remember, twenty minutes, no more."

"I know; and if I get tired, tell Master Obi-Wan." Zak answered.

"Yes." ND25 confirmed as Obi-Wan guided the chair out into the hallway.

After twenty minutes, Zak was more than ready to be back in his room and Obi-Wan carefully lifted out of the chair and into the bed. Moments later, ND25 entered to replace Zak's leg in the sling, "Did you enjoy your ride?" It asked.

"Yes." Zak answered, tiredly.

"Yes, and ready to sleep again." ND25 replied.

Zak nodded and quickly drifted off.

"Will you be staying with him for a while?" ND25 inquired.

"Yes, probably for the rest of the day." Obi-Wan informed him.

"Then I will arrange for two meals to be sent up here." ND25 replied pleasantly as it left the room.

Obi-Wan watched Zak sleep for a few moments; now that he was alone, he began to think about what Zak had told him about hearing the voices of younglings. Was it just Zak's head injury that had caused him to hear them, or something else? Then, he thought about his own dreams and that one sentence, 'Zak should be dead like the others'; who were the others? Could the others be…no, it was too much of a stretch; they were just dreams brought on by everything that had happened. He did not have prophetic dreams; that was Anakin's territory.

By midday, Zak was awake and hungry. On schedule, ND25 brought a tray with two portions, checked Zak's status and then left.

"I think I like him better than the one you had." Zak said as he ate.

"Yes, his bedside manner is much better." Obi-Wan agreed.

"And he doesn't stick probes in me." Zak added.

"No, lucky for you." Obi-Wan replied, with a laugh.

"If it comes back; how much do you think I'll lose?" Zak asked suddenly.

"I don't know, Padawan; no one does. Hopefully not much." Obi-Wan answered.

"Well, I won't be able to go on missions with you anymore, will I." Zak assumed.

"Zak, if it doesn't come back, I won't be going on anymore missions." Obi-Wan told him.

"Then what will we do?" Zak wondered.

"I don't know; I'm sure they will find something for us." Obi-Wan replied, and then smiled, "Maybe we'll be stuck in the kitchens."

"Or in the archives with Master Nu." Zak added, smiling back.

"That's better; let's not worry about it for now. It might just come back tomorrow." Obi-Wan said.

After they had eaten, and ND25 had seen to it that the tray was removed, Obi-Wan handed the data pad from Jocasta Nu to Zak, "Oh, do I have to do this now?" Zak moaned.

"Yes, you know how important this is to Master Nu; she does not want you to fall behind." Obi-Wan answered.

Zak took the data pad reluctantly, "You know, I just thought of something. I'm so stupid; I should have known the Jedi hadn't rejected me." He said, as a sudden realization came to him.

"Zak, stop calling yourself stupid." Obi-Wan told him.

"I'm sorry, but I just thought of this; when I woke up last night you were reading this lesson to me, weren't you?" Zak asked.

"Yes." Obi-Wan confirmed.

"Well, if the Jedi had decided they didn't want me, Master Nu wouldn't have given you this data pad." Zak concluded.

"I'm glad you have finally figured that out. Now, no more stalling; read." Obi-Wan ordered, "Because more than likely, she will be sending you another one later this afternoon."

Zak groaned at that thought and began to study. He asked Obi-Wan a few questions about it and then decided he was ready for Obi-Wan to quiz him.

Anakin stood in the doorway, watching. It pained him to be so close to his brother and be unable to sense his presence and for Obi-Wan not to sense he was there. After a few moments, Zak happened to glance up, "Master Anakin!" He exclaimed.

Obi-Wan looked up, smiled broadly and stood to embrace his brother as Anakin entered the room, "Anakin." He said.

"I thought your sense would have come back by now. I keep feeling for your presence, my brother." Anakin told him. "I miss it."

"Well, I'm beginning to wonder if it will." Obi-Wan answered.

"Don't say that." Anakin replied, "Don't even think that."

"Have you spoken with Master Yoda?" Obi-wan asked.

"Yes, briefly when I dropped my things off in my quarters." Anakin answered.

"Then he must have told you about the tests." Obi-Wan replied.

"Yes, but I don't see…" Anakin began.

"Tests don't lie, Anakin." Obi-Wan said.

"But the tests didn't say this was permanent." Anakin countered and then, to drop the subject, turned to Zak, "You're looking much better, do you feel better too?"

Zak's expression changed, "I can't feel the Force, Master Anakin." He said sadly.

"I know, but don't worry, it'll come back." Anakin assured him.

"Not like before; some of my midi-chlorians are dead." Zak replied.

"What? No one told me that." Anakin answered.

"Whatever they gave us seems to have affected Zak differently. Maybe because they gave him too high a dosage or because he was so weak; but it has killed some of his while mine seem to be just dormant." Obi-Wan explained.

"Well, I came here because I have a feeling I could help. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to help with." Anakin speculated.