"The science building? Are you fucking kidding me!?" Dib was not in the best mood at the moment as he had just been forced to spend time with Q, Zim , Skoodge , Conner, and CB for an entire car ride back to campus. Fuck those assholes. The only thing that had been keeping Dib from driving them off a cliff and dying in a fiery crash (aside from the distinct lack of cliffs in New Jersey) was the promise of finding some cool secret lair that housed the tech from the Galactic Syndicate.

Instead, Dib got a trip to the goddamn science building. He didn't even go there for class- though he would have gone for sure if he knew there was some sort of secret lab inside. The weird group of aliens and one human got out of the car as Conner lead them inside the halls Dib had walked many times (but maybe not enough due to his chronic class-skipping). There can't have been a secret base. He had scoured this place when he thought the Chemistry Teacher was in a cult (he's still pretty sure she is). He would have found an alien base.

" Zim take this." Skoodge passed Zim a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt for reasons... honestly, that Dib couldn't fathom. Zim nodded seriously and put the shirt on, confusing Dib more as to the transaction that had just taken place. Only now Dib realized Skoodge was wearing one too. (Seriously? When did Skoodge even have time to get Hawaiian shirts? Had he had them the entire time? Was that just something he always carried?)

"This way," Conner had watched the exchange with no real change to his expression. He seemed to know what had just occurred which only raised more questions. Conner walked through the all-too-familiar halls as he found his way into a janitor's closet. "Come on." He opened the door, ushering Dib inside, followed by Skoodge and Zim , both now donning Hawaiian shirts, and Conner bringing up the rear. (Dib was forced to wonder if he also needed a Hawaiian shirt- Conner didn't have one- he should be fine.) Q was under Dib's arm, mostly concealed by his trenchcoat . He was fidgety like a cat and managed to clamber up onto Dib's shoulder.

Zim and Skoodge immediately turned off their disguises, making for much more room in the closet with the decrease in their heights. "It's rude," Skoodge explained, "to wear disguises in a Syndicate Hearing. Not that we actually care, but, you know... formalities." Dib turned only to see Conner too had dropped his disguise. There was a distinct green undertone beneath his dark skin. His eyebrows high, arched and with distinct ridges to them that extended slightly past the brow line to make a V shape above the nose. His eyes were set a little higher than a humans, and seemed a little larger as well. His ears were curled, and pointed upward.

"Thank you for your respect." Conner looked pleased as he shuffled passed Dib and reached out, pressing against the wall in a few different places. A light came out, scanning his eye, before the floor beneath them slowly dropped. They descended for what felt like quite a substantial amount of time. No one was really talking, and Dib was starting to feel an adrenaline rush pump through his body. He wasn't sure what awaited him.

They stopped and the wall slid aside into a pristine white, very long hall. Conner quickly lead them down the path. Dib's feet thudding against some sort of metallic, white tiling. The hall was incredibly bright, almost dream-like in its cleanliness. It immediately made Dib feel uncomfortable.

At the end of the hall were large, arching doors. Conner reached them, forcing them open with another scan of his eye. And then kicked them open. Dib slapped his forehead. (He doubted that was protocol.)

"Was that really necessary?" Dib glared at him as Conner ' sushed ' him.

"Shh, they're in a meeting."

In the next room he saw Clark standing before two aliens sitting behind a large, looming white table. Clark wasn't particularly tall and the vastness of the semi-circular stand behind which his two judges were seated, dwarfed him. Dib had never seen his roommate look quite so small and meek. Clark's hands were cuffed by some sort of glowing white energy; his dumb plaid overshirt, T-shirt, and jeans were replaced with a strange black uniform. It was high collared, long sleeves, a red belt and red accents. He had white gloves, and a symbol on the shoulder that matched the one Dib had seen on the ship. He was still wearing his glasses and... weirdly he didn't look any different. Seeing Conner out of his disguise and the two, blue aliens at the podium with their bulging, entirely void blue eyes and fire colored hair... he sort of expected Clark to be out of his human disguise as well.

"Is there some sort of issue, Rodgers?" The feminine alien with the higher seat had a voice that sounded familiar. Dib had to think on it for a moment and imagine that same voice engrossed in a long, arduous lecture about mathematics and suddenly it clicked.

"Dr. Rosenberg?"

The blue alien's face fell as she glanced behind Conner to see Dib. "Oh. Great. It's you." Her completely deadpan response sealed his theory; as it was the exact response his professor had when he would wander into class about twenty minutes into a test.

"Hey Dib!" Clark waved at him.

"Oh... um... " he wasn't sure how to react. "Hi... Clark."

"You brought a human into our court room. Fantastic. So many citations here..." The blue alien beside Dr. Rosenberg appeared to be one of the same species as it shared the fire red hair, blue skin, and bulging, glassy, blue eyes. Based on process of elimination (and assuming Dib had not dreamed the visitors in his room the night Clark had saved him from Q's toxin) that was most likely the true form of Ron the janitor.

"Actually, he came to make an appeal, which is completely viable from any officer, even of low rank, when dealing in a high-profile case such as treason. This is entirely legal according to the Syndicate Legal System." Skoodge stepped forward.

"Oh, and you brought the Parasite and some Irkens..." Dr. Rosenberg had an expression as if she had just stepped on something particularly disgusting as she looked down from her high podium to the tiny forms of Skoodge and Zim . "I am going to be completely honest with you, it wouldn't have been my first choice for your legal counsel but it got my attention." She looked back to Clark, questioningly. "You knew about this?"

"Oh, no. Not at all." He shook his head. "But I mean, that evidence you have against me is pretty good. So, they have their work cut out for them if they want to prove I'm innocent. Even I'm starting to think I did it." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. He still seemed so easy going despite the stakes.

"Wow, he is really stupid." Zim remarked seemingly impressed.

" He really is ." Q confirmed.

"I would keep my mouth shut," Dr. Rosenberg looked at the cat sitting happily on Dib's shoulder. Dib was hoping she would choose to remove the abomination before he got poisoned again, but everyone just seemed fine with it being there. "You're still on thin ice."

" Yes yes the Parasite is awful but what does any of this have to do with our traitor!?" Ron had seemingly had enough of the distraction. "Are you really going to accept these... lifeforms for your legal counsel ?" He gave a dramatic gesture in Skoodge's direction.

"Do y'all know anything about Syndicate Law?" Clark seemed to be considering it.

" Ehhh ?" Zim gave a vague shrug. Skoodge just sighed.

"Yes. A lot."

" I do, but I'm more of a witness. " Q added helpfully.

"Yeah, sure, okay." Clark gave his own little shrug. "Why not? I mean, damn it Ron, I'm a doctor not a lawyer. They prolly know more about it than me."

"Okay then, carry on." Dr. Rosenberg put her cheek in her hand, looking at the scene with mild amusement. Skoodge cleared his throat, approaching the looming stand with a serious expression as he craned his neck to look at the two judges.

"My name is Skoodge -" He cut the judges off as they opened their mouths "- not that Skoodge . It's a common name on Irk. And this is my companion Zim -" He cut them off again. "Not that Zim -you know the destructive one-; it's also a common name." Dib had no doubt Zim's name was infamous throughout the galaxy but it was nice to have proof. "We are simple Irken navigators." It was interesting to see just how convincing Skoodge was under the spotlight.

"What brings two Irken Navigators so far out of the Empire's territory?" Ron looked unconvinced by Skoodge's smooth talk. It was hard for Dib to gauge Dr. Rosenberg's reaction as her expression stayed relatively calm.

"Well, as you can tell by our shirts, we were on vacation." Skoodge had been so competent up until that point. Dib was floored. This could not be the payoff for that weird shirt exchange in his car. There had to be more.

"That checks out." Dr. Rosenberg noted, looking them up and down.

"Those shirts do indicate a vacation..." Ron nodded seriously as Dib just stared, mouth slightly agape in utter bewilderment at the scene before him. Two of Q's twitching tails smacked Dib's jaw closed as they merged back into one.

"While we were enjoying the primitive culture of Earth-"

"Hey!" Dib protested, but Skoodge ignored him.

"We happened upon your security officer, ship doctor, and this human boy with his freakishly large head."

"HEY!" Dib protested louder.

"It is true..." Doctor Rosenberg sighed. "His head is large... like, uncomfortably so."

"You aren't supposed to insult me. I recognize your voice. I know you're my teacher!" Dib had honestly had enough of the insults and given that Clark was (rightfully) still upset he doubted his roommate would stick up for him.

" Oh that can't be true." She gave Dib a smug look. "If you were really one of my students, I assume I would have had a paper of yours from the last three months to grade. But I don't. Because apparently you would rather spend your time harassing my crew than doing your homework so that doesn't make you my student- it makes you a nuisance ."

"If you ran into our officers before now, why didn't they report this?" Ron ignored the exchange in order to return to the interrogation.

"We asked them not to." Skoodge looked remorseful but Dib had a feeling he was faking it. "We were worried that our presence would be seen as threatening and the last thing we wanted was to put strain on our alliance. After all, the Syndicate are such dear and treasured friends to the Empire."

"You can tone it down." Ron looked unimpressed. "You have our attention, don't push your luck. No amount of flattery can overrule the video evidence. In fact, let's play that again." Ron gestured to no one in particular and the video began to play once more.

"Do you deny that it is you in the video?" Dr. Rosenberg looked down at Clark.

"I mean it looks like me. No denying that. I don't remember doing any of this though... but I mean... college is wild?" Clark looked thoroughly confused.

"There is no way it can be him." Skoodge intervened. " I can prove it."

"How?" Ron and Dr. Rosenberg spoke in unison looking completely surprised . Skoodge reached into his shirt pocket pulling out the little cube from earlier.

"Conner told us about the weapon , we saw the video and we actually do know a little bit about it." Skoodge failed to mention having been in possession of the gun but Dib kept his mouth shut. "We confirmed our suspicion with Q and if it pleases the court, I would like to confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt that Clark is innocent."

Dr. Rosenberg looked over at Ron who looked intrigued before she nodded. "I would like to see this evidence." Skoodge reached in the cube pulling out a very small cluster of glowing, green, gravelly looking rocks.

"Can you confirm that this is the same power source used in the mystery weapon?" Skoodge offered the small cluster toward the two blue skinned aliens who had to bend down just to scan it. As he neared the podium, Clark looked at the rock in his hand, visibly cringing back. They both looked over the information that must have displayed out of sight somewhere on their podium. Both pairs of oversized blue eyes widened.

" Oh my word..." Dr. Rosenberg covered her mouth.

"It is... how...?" Ron looked completely baffled.

" How isn't important right now." Skoodge walked back to his place still holding the rock. "What is important is that you guys don't know much about your little doctor here. Conner explained to me that he was adopted and not much is known about his original planet. It isn't in your databanks." Skoodge was on a roll. "It is, however in Irk's databanks. They were experiencing an environment disaster; Irk took advantage of their sad, little, impending demise and helped harvest what was left of their planet for resources. Inadvertently , we aided in the planet's destruction, lots of people died, absolute decimation. No survivors. Or well... one survivor- sorry Clark." The apology was almost like an afterthought .

"I mean... I never lived there..." Clark looked confused more than anything else.

"Why are you telling us this sob story, Mr. Skoodge ?" Dr. Rosenberg arched an eyebrow.

"He's rare, Captain, to put things simply. With his enhanced abilities and very little information on his biology he makes a perfect target for this sort of spy technique. If you need to steal something hard to reach, you need to pick the most capable member of the team. However, the actual thief made one major miscalculation when they picked Clark. I think they realized their mistake- but they were counting on the fact that you wouldn't catch it."

"And what," Dr. Rosenberg- the assumed Captain- narrowed her eyes, " pray tell, would that mistake be?"

"This, catch!" Skoodge tossed the rock to Clark who easily popped out of his little cuffs only to completely collapse as the rock hit him in the head and rolled harmlessly off. Clark had fallen hard and heavy onto the ground like a bag of bricks. "Clark can't be near the energy source in the gun. His species is more or less 'allergic' to it."

"Jesus get that thing away..." Clark muttered from the ground as the glowing rock sat beside his head. "I feel like I'm dying."

"He always said the gun made him feel funny!" Conner pointed out as he ran over scooping up the rock and running it back to Skoodge . As soon as it was five feet away , Clark was able to pull himself up off of the ground once more.

" Your evidence is good... but if it wasn't 'Clark'," she made air quotes around his name and Dib realized they were all probably using fake names, "then who is that in the video?"

" A traitor. " Surprisingly, Q cut in. " That is why I was brought in ."

"I was wondering when you were going to cut in." The captain looked at him with a supreme sense of distrust behind her eyes.

" When you first took me onto your ship, I sensed someone without thoughts. I knew there was a traitor in your ranks and my plan was to use the inevitable betrayal to escape into neutral territory. Which admittedly worked. "

"This is foolish." Ron cut Q off. "We know it's Clark you can see him."

" You shouldn't let him interrupt me like that. I would call it rude but it is very clear that he can't hear me ." Q's seven little eyes narrowed. "I don't see why I need to offer up more evidence than that, he's not even reacting ."

Dib saw the confusion on the Captain's face so he decided to seal the deal. Prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the traitor was Ron. "I can't believe you think the traitor is fucking Conner of all people!" Dib shouted, looking angrily at Q. "He brough t you here!"

"That's not what he said..." The Captain replied at the same time Ron said:

"He makes a good point though. Conner brought Irkens." It didn't take more than a second for Ron to see the expressions on everyone's faces and realize he had fucked up. In one swift movement, Clark jumped from the floor to the top of the podium (easily a seven or so foot vertical leap ) as Ron reached behind him and pulled the missing weapon out of seemingly nothing.

"You're under- AH!" Clark made a move to grab at Ron but he fired off the gun, that pulsing , green energy core glowing in the brightly lit room. Clark went about as pale as the looming pillars and started to stumble back. Zim and Skoodge both had their PAK legs out as they charged after Ron, the Captain jumping over the desk and helping Conner catch the falling form of the doctor.

"You should have stayed out of this!" Ron fired the weapon at Zim and Skoodge both of whom dodged with ease. They had their own weapons drawn. Zim had some sort of electrified looking, pronged weapon and Skoodge had blasters. With surprising grace the two Irkens chased the traitor as he scaled a nearby wall. He was almost hit by fire from the ground as the three real Syndicate Rangers had also pulled out weapons (it seemed Clark was still a terrible shot as his laser went nowhere near the intended target). He was hit in the leg by either Conner or the Captain but didn't seem to feel it.

"Aren't you going to help?" Dib looked at Q expectantly.

" I did my part. " Q stretched out in his arms, content just to watch.

Up on the ceiling Skoodge and Zim were engaged in a battle of bullets with the traitor both trying to dodge fire from the Syndicate who seemed to be aiming just for Ron. After nearly hitting Zim , Conner used his other hand to knock the gun away from Clark and went back to trying to shoot Ron of the ceiling. Clark jumped up onto the desk again (Dib had to admit it was cool to see him making that jump so effortlessly) as he took his glasses off and beams of bright, blinding light shot from his eyes startling Zim , Skoodge , and Ron.

Ron fired the gun at Clark again, hitting him in the ankle as he managed to dodge the brunt of the blast with incredible speed. As he was distracted trying to hit Clark, Skoodge lunched forward, restraining Ron's arms with his entire body. Zim had swept around behind him and, in a shockingly quick and precise motion, Zim had plunged the electrified blade into his back.

"CB! NOW!" Dib had to admit it was weird to hear Zim call out for his robot.

It was even weirder to see Ron's body begin to surge in waves of bright electricity before it began to disintegrate before their eyes. Underneath the blue, large-eyed façade, was...

"It was as we feared..." Skoodge tossed the still twitching body on the floor. 'Ron' Appeared to be alive but the air in the room was heavy as Clark jumped down to the floor, crying out in pain as it seemed his ankle was still damaged. Dib managed to rush over and catch him before he collapsed onto the hard, white, metallic tiles.

Well 'catch' was a strong term as Clark was surprisingly heavy for someone so small. Dib ended up falling down with him- but it was the thought that counted.

Everyone was staring at Ron, now green and small with antennae and large convex, red eyes; still convulsing as energy surged through him. Dib looked at the others. No one was saying anything but Skoodge had a very grave expression.

'Ron' was Irken .

An Invader from the looks of it.

"So..." Finally, after an agonizing silence, Clark spoke, "Is anyone else starving?"

Everyone gave a collective sigh.


Are you guys ready to see this FIRST arc wrapped up!? I can't believe it's almost over! Did you guys have a favorite part of the Syndicate Arc? Please tell me in the comments what you liked best! After this we're back on toward the main plot! (Told you this would be a long ride!)