Joeb the Great… producing his worst piece of crap ever…
I mean ever as in like… he hasn't done something like this before…
He hasn't because he doesn't like to get mixed up in politics…
But now, for your viewing entertainment, or reading entertainment, depending on how 'special' you are…
A Brian Sachet Production…
Featuring the Super Smash Brothers gang…
Including guests from the Republican and Democratic Parties
Live from Utah…
In a way that only few can write it…
Involving humor you might be getting sick of… if you're sick of this type of humor…
Stolen sections from Monty Python Hidden Dragon
At least… when a movie like that comes out… this will have stolen from it…
Not intended for those under the age of 85…
Given 4/5 in Game Informer Magazine…
No wait… that was a 1…
Does Game Informer use 5, 10, or the percentage system anyway?
I'm getting off point…
Rated T for Teen, meaning that if you aren't over 13 years old you're going to hell for reading this…
Or not…
My claims mean nothing… because I'm not a Bishop… yet…
From the man who gave you Yar Stupidity 'Pon the High Seas… and SSBM Advertisements! And Psycho Ward…
Comes a tale… of love… and political science…
Not an attempt to increase the word count.
In a time… when politics meant more to people than their own lives… a boy… who was republican, loved a girl… who was a democrat…
Kind of stolen a little bit from Shakespeare…
Still original enough though…
I could have put in a Phargus joke here… but Joeb told me not to…
Joeb wanted me to put in a h00giman joke instead…
So yeah… hoogiman is… umm… well…
I don't really know the guy… but his name sounds stupid…
Not stolen by Joeb… even though I (the writer) am not Joeb…
I am working under a contract…
I pay him thousands a year, and he lets me use his account…
I think I've said too much…
Is this thing a bit long?
Should I cut it?
I think I went off topic again…
In the future, or the past… only 1 or 2 years in either direction anyway… so it doesn't matter…
I think it might be set during 2005…
But that might not be the case…
Whatever happens… read it…
(Paid in part by the Coupling foundation, whomever that is… they offered to pay…)
Also in part by viewers like you… (Whatever that means…)
I would prefer if you called me by my real name…
James…
Bond James… the third… or was that fourth?
Whatever…
A Strange Thing Happened Last Night…
Chapter only…
Disclaimer: I don't own Phargus Jokes… and this really wasn't stolen… I may/may not really be named any of the names in the intro to this fanfiction… none of the companies mentioned are known by me… except FOX… unless I decided not to put that joke in here… but either way I don't own FOX or CNN… and this didn't cost any money to make, nor did I make any money from this story… I don't own SSBM or SSB or SSBB or anything Nintendo or the Republican or Democratic position and I am not a professional so any stance mentioned in this story should be promptly ignored. Jokes can be jokes so don't talk about this story saying how it's proving a great point as to why Bush/Clinton/Reagan/Stewart/Whoever runs CNN/your sister is an idiot… it isn't… I do not own really long and boring disclaimers that you likely wont read through because you find them annoying… I do not pwn anything and I do not pawn anything although I have slight Al Capwnage factors… I do not own that word or that anything and I don't own Al Capone… I don't own James Bond or Bond James and I have no idea who I stole anything from if anything is stolen… and I (the writer) am Joeb and so this seriously wasn't stolen from anyone (and I know I might get sued if I don't say that… because… I might sue myself… because I hate myself… and I cut myself… but this is a different issue) and I don't own cutting myself… or EMO… or EMO bashing n00bs… or n00bs… or the idea of putting 0's there instead of O's… any recreation of this story will be looked at with anger… but that's about it… go ahead and steal my pathetic story… it's pathetic so why are you stealing it? I also don't own ranting but I've ranted so much I don't know if I've said that or not… I don't own the Coupling foundation by the way… I don't even know if that's an actual foundation…
Summary: So this guy goes to the store to order some milk when he see's a girl. She's not just any girl though… she's a teenage girl. This is a rare thing, and the guy must get her phone number. What happens is he takes a napkin and… oh… I'm not supposed to talk about the whole story? Just advertise the characters a little and maybe do some l33t? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
Rating: I forgot… and I don't really care if you're little and read this… just don't try to swallow… as swallowing may prove fatal…
I do…
Like seriously… I just married you…
Gold Stars:
You can have whatever I have left in my piggy bank… oops… I don't have a piggy bank! HAHA! No Gold Stars for you!
Now I will advertise the music I like before the story starts…
I like ICP (their death metal rap horror that has a good point if you bother to listen and a good beat if you just want something to listen to real quick). I like Reel Big Fish (awesome happy happy, but their We Hate It When… song is really great with a point but it has plenty of fast fun songs if you just feel tingly and weird). I like Lemon Demon (nerdy nerd guy who sings stuff and I've only heard two of his songs because of newgrounds but they were awesome). I like Mad Caddies (because they're like Reel Big Fish with the fast fun songs that you can just listen to). I like Michael Jackson (the true success of the 80s and yet he's the one guy all these "80s lovers" love to hate. His music is so… fun…). I like My Chemical Romance (and I did before EMO was what it is… I liked them before I knew the term EMO… I liked that they'd scream and most of the music was fast and what I considered to be fun… poison is fun). I like The Used… (Well… actually only one song… it was a hidden track after all the other songs and there are sadistic giggles followed by a pure scream fest in which I don't know what they actually say. It has energy, which a lot of music seems to lack these days). I like the Bloodhound Gang (mainly for a rap parody, which features lots of video game references and is just plain fun. They also have some good pop music). I like The Jellyfish (they have an awesome Nintendo song called Ignorance is Bliss. They're pop 90s music and they're virtually unknown. It's one of the best songs of all time though). I like The Offspring (Pretty Fly For a White Guy is a great song and you can't tell me otherwise! Other songs are fun too). I like Psybot (on newgrounds audio, look him up and download his music for free. Fast and hard techno beats, but some are soft and good too). I like The Bedroom Philosopher (some Australian comedy/musician with one of the best songs ever. "I'm So Postmodern" It's GENIUS!). I like any music I download that has funk or techno or a good beat or any music really. I don't care what "trendy" genre it is, it's fun if it's fun.
Good Movies:
Toys (Starring Robin Williams… involves a retired general taking control of a toy factory to make war machines using children who think they're just playing video games to control these robots… it's funny but it has some cool stuff too). Undercover Blues (Starring some guy who reminds me of Jim Carry kind of… either way, it's two married CIA/FBI kind of people with mad skillz that are just hilariously smooth, it something to do with plastic explosives too). Octane (No idea who the actors are, but it's a mom taking her daughter home late at night in a car when a cult takes her and tries to brainwash her, the mom rescues her and it's really supernaturalishly weird). The Faculty (Starring that one hobbit freak in Lord of the Rings, I think he's Elijah Wood or something, it's a school getting infested with a parasitic alien species and a few misfit students have to kill the queen before the aliens infest the whole planet. They have no idea who or where the queen is though). Big Top Pee-Wee (I didn't know Pee Wee was in TWO movies… I only thought he was in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, but I watched this… it has plenty of sexual references… I think that makes this whole thing just plain WTF? It involves a circus living on Pee-Wee's farm…). Midnight Run (a bounty hunter is trying to get a man worth 100,000 dollars from New York to Los Angeles in three days or something. It becomes a mad rush to get there by Midnight, with lots of hilarious moments). Kung Pow (hilarity on all levels… what else can I say?). There have been plenty of movies I've seen that I don't know the name of, it's called late night SHOwtime… or HBO… but mostly SHOwtime…
Good Video Games:
Freedom Fighters (if you want a shooter game with squad style playing and cool cheats involving rag doll physics and an extremely hard single player game mode then get this game!). Red Faction (Halo style… but more fun. Maku plays it more than I do, but it still has some cool destructible levels and whatnot). Victoria (if you're a strategy gamer than this game is like heaven. It has every country in the whole world by 1836 and just lets you do whatever you want to mess up history. It takes a while to get good at it though, but it's awesome once you get going). Company of Heroes (strategy game with extreme destructible environments and units that will actually take cover behind places that provide cover. Soldiers do what soldiers WOULD do and you can steal equipment from the enemy if you find it. You can ram through walls with a tank if the wall is weak enough. Set up mines, barbed wire, and just do all kinds of things never before done in a strategy game). SSBM (duh). Shenmue (you go on an adventure to avenge your father after some mysterious guy kills him. You get into plenty of street fights on the way with plenty of fun ways to beat down your enemy, Dreamcast/Xbox only though). Jet Grind Radio (you're some pimped out gang on the street that runs from the cops spraying graffiti everywhere. Long before THPS stole the idea. AWSOME graphics on the first one and one of the most drugged up stories with just plain cool WTF situations, Dreamcast/Xbox only though). Power Stone 2 (Dreamcast's version of SSBM… running around throwing items at each other jumping around with just cool environments and moves. I don't know if Xbox ever made a sequel to it, but I'm betting they ruined the sequel if they made it). Road Rash (N64 bike racing game where you would beat the enemy with bats and clubs trying to get them off their bike so you could finish in first place. With lots of hilarious crashes and splats and crackling noises that make this game one of the BEST games ever made). Yeah… there are tons of unknown games that I just love… the popular ones usually aren't all that great…
Now for the actual story!
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Oh would you look at that… my time is up for this story… oh well…
I'll start the actual story next chapter…
Oh wait… this is a one shot! Too bad… I guess you'll never get to hear the story!
R&R! Read and Robots will someday take over the world.
Just thought you might want to know…
