The Education of Rodney McKay

Chapter 2: Hiding in the Shadows

John's POV

Normally, the balconies of Atlantis are a refuge for me. A calming, peaceful place where I can shed the burdens of being Colonel Sheppard for a few minutes. Not today.

Today, every wave seemed filled with frustration, slamming futilely against the piers. Each breeze echoed angry words, sobs. Even the railing fit into my mood, symbolizing the problems I had, the barrier erected by my own weakness and injuries, keeping me from facing whatever was really wrong.

I'd seen the hesitation before McKay's answers, heard the faint sharp edge to his voice that told me he was hiding something. Now, Allie was blocking me too. She was refusing to pull close enough for me to even get that vague sense her presence, let alone feel her emotions. Which, for a kid who normally had major trouble keeping herself from pulling too close, was not good. When I'd returned to my office after leaving Rodney's lab, she wouldn't even answer me on the computer screen. Her only answer to any question or appeal for her to talk to me was one word.

'No.'

I just didn't understand what was going on between them. By all logic that I could think of, the two should have gotten along great- sentient computer to computer scientist. Allie could ferret out information in the Ancient database, which she could freely access, much faster and easier than we could most of the time. McKay loved having an audience who actually understood his work, too, but wasn't an intellectual challenger. It should have been a solid friendship.

Instead, the fights were escalating, and so were my headaches.

"Sheppard. You shouldn't be out here alone."

Great. My latest babysitter had found me. I needed to find some new retreats.

"Ronon." I greeted the large Satedan dryly as he took up a spot leaning on the railing next to me. "Which one of them sent you this time? Doc? Elizabeth? Teyla?"

"They were worried."

'They'. Well, that told me all I needed to know. It was the gang approach today.

"I'm fine, just got bored and needed a little air."

A grunt. "That's not what we were told."

I let out a long sigh, resisting the urge to snap. It apparently wasn't bad enough that the two of them had to drive me nuts with their quarreling. Now they had to send watchdogs after me!

"McKay and Allie finally blew up at each other, and I got caught right in the middle. I'm trying to resist the temptation to put a boot in both their backsides, that's all. I need some time alone to cool off."

In other words, my friend, I appreciate it but go away.

One trait I was deeply thankful for in Ronon was that he didn't push. Maybe it was spending all that time on the run, by himself, but something made him very attuned to the need for solitude. Instead of refusing to leave or badgering me, he simply clapped me on the right shoulder and left. Fortunately, he was already clicking on his com to report to whoever had sent him and didn't hear my sharp intake of breath as his parting gesture jarred my much abused left shoulder. That man is strong!

I knew I should go in, lay down for a while, even find the pain killers Carson had prescribed. Not that I wanted to. I hated the things. They made me feel disconnected, spacey, something that no pilot, and no military man, was ever comfortable being, but I knew I was hurting enough now that I actually needed them. When I felt pain, it was usually time to pay attention. If I laid down for a while, slept, maybe I could forget the two children and their bickering.

I hate being injured!

Instead, I found myself wandering the city aimlessly, too physically restless to think of settling down. I preferred to run to clear my head, but that just wasn't possible in my present condition. I may push, but I know where my limits are, in spite of Carson's fussing. I needed to be active, to think, decide what to do about the whole mess. I knew I couldn't leave them alone to work it out, either. If both of them were still avoiding me tomorrow, I would enlist some help.

Elizabeth would be the best choice to talk to Allie. I had noted the girl picking up on and mimicking some of the expedition leader's mannerisms, which would make Elizabeth a trusted authority figure to her. Maybe she could get some answers where Allie was stonewalling me. It couldn't hurt to have Carson talk to her, either. Allie liked the doctor, if for no other reason then that the man took care of me, and he had the second strongest ATA gene in the city.

Now Rodney... he was a little harder. Maybe send Ronon and Teyla? There wasn't anyplace on Atlantis where the former Runner couldn't find the scientist sooner or later. McKay was lousy at keeping things inside, too. Whatever was bugging him so badly that he tried to hide it from me, our team mates would be the others he would be most likely to trust with it. The two often had the ideal combination of sympathy and intimidation to open McKay's talk valve, too.

Feeling slightly more relaxed with a definite plan of action in mind, I looked around in surprise to find myself on a balcony at the far end of the city. Not far from the spot where Bryan, the madman who injured me, and I had our confrontation, in fact. I winced. Yet another problem I'd been avoiding dealing with. Elizabeth was still feeling very guilty over actually firing a gun at the guy, wounding him. Since a short talk we had in the infirmary, though, we had both carefully danced around the topic. Sooner or later, I really had to sit down with her and talk it out, especially since she had shot defending me. I simply didn't feel up to it.

Something for tomorrow, John. You really do need to go find those pain killers now.

With one more long, exhausted sigh at the truth I'd just admitted to myself, I turned to head back inside. That was the last thing I remembered for quite some time.

Rodney's POV

It was a little more than an hour after the colonel left before the door to my lab opened once again. It had taken me half that time to track down what the little brat had done to cut off the power to my lab. After I found another lab with power, of course. Not the easiest thing to do with all the repairs yet to be completed, or even started in too many cases. Stupid virus. Now, I had settled in, and what happens? Yet another interruption. It almost made me miss Russia.

Am I ever going to be allowed to get some work done!

"What!" I snapped, not bothering to look up. I really should have. It might have saved me another headache.

"I don't know, Rodney, why don't you tell me?"

Crap. Elizabeth. Quickly, I spun around to face her. She was furious, too. One look at the crossed arms, tight lips, and flashing eyes told me that. I decided playing ignorant was the best choice.

"Tell you what? I'm getting systems up as fast as I can, but the damage was massive. Not to mention the fact that I can't seem to get more than a half an hour of work done without someone interrupting me!"

She didn't bat an eyelash at my tirade. "And that would be why a message suddenly appeared on my computer saying someone needed to check on Colonel Sheppard? Either you and he had a fight or you and Allie had a fight and drew him into the middle. Which is it, Rodney?"

I was really beginning to hate that child. She'd actually done what I told her to.

"She and I got into a spat over the power distribution systems, and I yelled at her a bit. I don't have time to be entertaining a child! Especially that one!"

I really needed to learn when to keep my mouth shut.

An eyebrow went up. "Why Allie especially? I would think that she would actually be easier for you to relate to then other children."

"Elizabeth...I really don't want to get into this right now. I have a lot of work to do-"

"Rodney..." It was rather amazing how many different emotions people could convey with how they said my name. This time it was chiding, exasperated, and demanding. "John's right, you're a lousy liar. What's really going on?"

She had me in a corner and she knew it. There are times I really hate the fact that Elizabeth is so good at reading people. If this was what she was like as a negotiator, I pitied the poor fools who sat across from her, even Cowen. Unfortunately, that fool was currently me. Time to try tactic number two- be obnoxious.

"Look- I'm swamped, exhausted, and very close to a full meltdown and its barely past noon, so just leave me alone!"

I could literally feel my face turning red as I spat that out, then resolutely turned my back on her, hoping to repeat the maneuver that had successfully driven off Sheppard earlier. For all my vaunted intelligence, I could be really stupid sometimes.

"Doctor McKay." Elizabeth's tone made Antarctica seem warm. "I will require an answer from you. What, exactly, happened?"

Good one, Rodney. Now you really put your foot in it!

"That pile of microchips messed with my work, I yelled, she went whining to Sheppard, and gave him another headache. That just made me madder, so I yelled some more. Brat cut the power to my lab. Happy?" I paused for an instant, but continued before she could proceed with any more icy blasts. "You should see Sheppard, though. Elizabeth, he looks worse than he did before Carson released him, and she's responsible! He's going to collapse!"

Well, she had asked for the truth. I watched as the meaning behind my words hit home and she visibly struggled to control her temper, a battle I had been losing all too frequently lately. And Samantha Carter wasn't even in the same galaxy.

"Rodney..." She ground out my name from between clenched teeth. "Allie is a child. She's still learning. Yes, she's made mistakes, some of which have hurt people, but she's recognized that and corrected them where she could. It's called being human and getting second chances. You should be rather familiar with the concepts from recent experience!"

"Oh, now that was a low blow! Thank you very much! Yes, I know humans make mistakes, and that's my point! Humans! She's not human! Computers don't make mistakes unless programmed to do so! This self-proclaimed kid shows up, reeks havoc with Sheppard's mind, causes him to physically collapse multiple times, says she's sorry, and everyone's okay with that! And why a child, hmmm? It's a computer, it already knows everything it needs to! What's less suspicious to most people than a snot-nosed twerp?"

My tirade suddenly wound down and I slumped back onto my stool, jaw clenched, waiting. I had finally said what no one wanted to hear, and I didn't think that the reaction was going to be very pleasant. Surprisingly, we were no longer alone in the room, either. Sometime during my little spat, Carson, Ronon, and Teyla had all come in, unnoticed, and were now clustered around my work bench, staring at me in shock.

Great. This day just gets better and better.

"Do you really believe Allie could be trying to deliberately hurt John?"

Teyla's eyes were wide, horrified, as she asked that, and I thought I saw the sheen of tears. That jolted me to an abrupt halt before I could start up again. I started stammering slightly, suddenly unsure. "I... Well, she... Damn it! Doesn't anyone else find it a little too convenient that she appears right after two known intrusions into the system? And that the first thing she does is attach herself to our military commander?"

That one got to all of them, finally. At least I didn't immediately get shouted down. Even Elizabeth blanched, and Carson looked slightly pained. Not a good look for him, really.

"All right, you may have a point. Its time to ask a few questions of Allie, before Earth does. But... that doesn't mean I see any reason to distrust the girl. As for why she's a child...Rodney, think about it. Computers are programmed, as you said, they don't feel emotion. What happens when one suddenly does?" Elizabeth gazed at me pointedly, her question proving that the woman was often more computer savvy than I gave her credit for.

Carson jumped in before I could manage to say anything, though.

"The lass had ta learn how ta deal with them, just as a human does, startin' as a wee babe! That's why we had all those weird problems just after the siege, isna it? She was a babe not understandin' what was goin' on!"

I refused to look at any of them for a long moment. Few things annoy me more than Carson when he's right about something that, to paraphrase what he said not long ago, wasn't part of his department, but me being stupid and Carson being right was one of them. Damn the sheep herding voodoo master! If the malfunctions at the time had been more than yet another set of hasty repairs leaking, then... Well, that was well before either of the two saboteurs were around, and the brat might actually be telling the truth. Headache city for me, especially when John found out. This whole mess was going to end up giving me a stroke! At that, I began running through warning signs in my head.

Headache? Definitely yes. Dizziness? No. Fatigue? Yes. Numbness or weakness in any extremity? No...

The deep rumble of my most recent team mate interrupted my internal checklist, obviously answering a question from Elizabeth that I hadn't heard.

"Sheppard was out on one of the balconies. Seemed fine, just tired. Doc thought it was okay to leave him be for now."

"Aye. I saw him not long after headed down a corridor that led to his quarters, lookin' pretty tired. He seemed to be steady on his feet, though, so I didna say anythin' to him. An' I dunna want anyone disturbin' his rest, includin' you, Rodney!"

Carson glared at me, and I bit back a sharp retort, a wave of guilt washing through me. By arguing with the twerp, who thankfully didn't seem to be around at the moment, I'd probably just added to my friend's stress, even if it was her doing the damage. Especially if Carson and Elizabeth were right, and the brat really couldn't control her emotions. Not that I was willing to concede the point yet, not by a long shot. My theory stood until I saw solid evidence disproving it. I had a sneaking hunch that for once the military at the SGC and I would agree on that, too, when they were finally told.

"Now that's a scary thought!" I murmured, slightly bemused.

"What?" Carson raised an eyebrow at me. "That Colonel Sheppard might actually be doin' what I told him to even though he's startin' to feel a little better? Aye, it is."

I blinked, then stared at Carson silently for a minute before realizing that he was still back on his last comment.

"What? No. I mean, yes, but that's not what I...Oh, never mind!"

Elizabeth's eyebrow joined Carson's while Teyla and Ronon just looked slightly exasperated with me, a condition I was provoking in more people than usual today. Than the expedition leader fixed me with that penetrating gaze that told me quite clearly that she hadn't forgotten what was at the bottom of all this, and definitely wasn't through with me yet. As Sheppard was so fond of saying, crapola.

"Rodney, I-"

"Unscheduled off-world activation! Dr. Weir and Major Lorne, please report to the Control Room!"

Saved by the com. The message sent all of them scrambling, finally leaving me in peace to try continuing the repairs. Not that it would last long if something nasty came through the Stargate, which happened with an appalling regularity around here.

After fifteen minutes without a frantic summons, I relaxed, enjoying the lovely quiet, and turned my attention back to the repairs. Soon, I was completely absorbed, not noting the passage of time or the unusual continued absence of a certain nosy little irritant.

I really wished I would have. It might have saved us all a lot of grief.

TBC...