A groggy Adam had shuffled downstairs rubbing the sleep out of his eye. Making his way downstairs, he was caught off guard by a couple sights he didn't expect to see. While the one in the den could easily be explained, the sight of his older brother wide awake in the kitchen (and in one of their mother's aprons) was a tad peculiar. "Hey, Bro!" Barry greeted. "You want me to make you some coffee or something? College kids love coffee."
"I don't," Adam took a seat at the counter, neglecting to notice the carrier to his left…until the baby inside of it started to make upset noises. "Alright, alright, I'll move, sheesh," he took a different seat and then looked to his niece with a sarcastic 'have I pleased Her Majesty' look. "Better?" Poppy turned her head away from him. "What's she doing on the kitchen counter and not in the den with Mom?"
"Well actually, Mom took care of her most of the night," Barry's response explained the exhausted looking Beverly passed out in her husband's chair with drool slowly cascading down her wide-open mouth. "I came down to make breakfast and found her like that. When I checked on the Popster, she was just lyin' in that portable bassinet thing lookin' up and lookin' bored. Thought I'd transfer her to her little carrier seat thing and bring her into the kitchen with her favorite uncle. Maybe give her a little cooking demonstration."
"First of all: stop calling her 'the Popster'—or yourself her favorite uncle. Second: where's the appeal in her watching you cook? She's not going to remember and it more than likely means nothing to her."
"Babies have no brain, they're super easy to keep entertained."
"I want to tell you how wrong that statement is, but I need some caffeine or sugar first."
"If you want a slice, our breakfast pie is cooling on the table. It's still hot when you eat it, so be careful."
Adam looked toward the table. "Huh: you even laid out plates and silverware for us."
"I had lots of free time and I decided to set the table. Sleep is a foreign concept to me."
"You didn't set out glasses."
Barry held up a can of Mr. Pibb soda. "Why waste dishes when liquid comes in a can?"
"I guess I'll get my own orange juice then." Adam headed for the fridge while Barry started searching through his pockets.
"Ugh," a half-asleep Murray lumbered into the kitchen and sat at his usual spot at the table. "Why am I awake this early?" He noticed the pie. "What the-" taking another quick glance around, he saw the plates and silverware. He then pinched himself. "Not a dream. We're actually having pie for breakfast." He let out his excited, "Woo-hoo" and helped himself to a slice.
"Morning, Mur-man," Barry acknowledged his father as he dangled his keys in front of Poppy. "Uncle Barry's got shiny keys! We like shiny keys."
"Alright, alright, enough with the jingling! No one wants noise this early."
"Hi, Dad," Adam set his glass down, went into the den, and came back into the kitchen with Floppy Bunny. "Poppy," he waved the stuffed rabbit at her, "it's Floppy Bunny. Isn't it way better than keys?" Noticing the attitude in the look his niece was giving him, Adam blinked in surprise. "It's like I'm staring at a baby version of Erica."
Murray felt the need to pause so that he could scoff at what his youngest said, "Moron," he then ate his breakfast. "Hot, but good."
Adam gently threw the rabbit at her. "I don't need this right now, just take the bunny." Suddenly, strange, garbling sounds from behind him made him quickly turn around. Murray's face was red and he breathing heavy. "Dad?"
"You okay, Mur-man?" Barry inquired. Murray frantically pointed to his pie. "You choking on pie again?"
"I don't think he's choking."
"What's going on?"
"I don't know!" Adam ran into the den. "Mom! Mom!" he shook his mother awake.
"Adam," Beverly wiped the drool from her face, "is everything-"
"Something's wrong with Dad!" That was enough to wake Beverly up and together they ran to the kitchen.
"Murray!" Beverly called him to attention to look at him. "Murray look at me," she held his face in her hands and took a look into his mouth. "The tongue is swelling; he's having an allergic reaction."
"To what?!" Barry questioned back.
"It had to have been something he ate." Beverly scanned the table and observed only edible thing on the table. "Barry, what was in that pie?"
"All the basic ingredients for a kiwi lime pie."
This statement took Adam aback. "There's no such thing as a kiwi lime pie."
"There's not?"
"It's KEY LIME pie."
"Key lime…oh!" it dawned on Barry. "Yeah, that's it; I thought kiwi lime sounded odd, yet still legit." He pondered something. "Did I accidentally invent a new type of pie?"
"You invented a way to kill your father!" Beverly snapped at him. "Your father is allergic to kiwi!" She looked down at Murray's plate. "It doesn't look like he ate much though."
"Is he gonna be okay?"
"He's going to have to go to the hospital for an allergy shot." Murray made a noise of protest before repeatedly shaking his head. "This is not up for negotiation. Put on your pants and let's go." Murray gestured to the baby on the counter while trying to talk, but it was sort of hard to comprehend what he was saying. "Of course we're not taking the baby to the hospital," yet Beverly seemed to understand. Adam and Barry could only watch as Murray made more unintelligible noises and pointed to his sons. "They'll be fine to watch her for a while." While it wasn't clear what he said next, his tone seemed angry when he then pointed to just Barry. "Oh, honestly, Murray; he wasn't attempting to actually kill you! Besides, he's watched Poppy at Erica and Geoff's." Murray looked less angry when he pointed to Adam and said something neither brother understood. "She does not hate Adam!"
"She kinda does," Barry translated for Murray.
"Agree to disagree. Between the two of them: Adam is more responsible and honest and will let us know if Barry does something that we'd consider moronic."
"Hey!"
"Barry, you just attempted murder on your father; I think you can deal with some honest criticism."
"Fair."
Murray was still hesitant. "Murray," but Beverly had one more trick up her sleeve, "you're a grandfather now. If you want to be around for your granddaughter, you need to take care of yourself." Murray gave a relenting sigh. "Thank you. Now put on your pants." Beverly turned to her sons. "I'm leaving my precious angel in your care. Do not make me regret this or I will see to it that you'll regret everything."
"Everything will be fine! You can trust us."
Beverly shot them a skeptical look in response before hurrying over to her granddaughter. "Bubby has to take Grampy away for a while; but I hope we'll be back before Mommy and Daddy take you away from me." She held Poppy close and smothered her in kisses. "Bubby loves her Baby Schmoo." Murray, not being able to say much, took Poppy for a quick hug and kiss before he and Beverly headed out the door. "If anything happens to my grandchild, you two will be the ones who'll need hospital." With that, she left.
"Dang," Adam was the first to speak. "I thought Mom was scary as just a mother. What mother threatens their own children?"
"A grandmother," Barry replied. "You think Mom's bad; be glad you weren't there when Joanne made the suggestion to get Poppy's ears pierced in front of Linda."
"Linda Schwartz?"
"Linda Schwartz and her son have this hidden dark side that should never be unearthed. You wouldn't believe the things that woman said to her daughter."
"Wait, are you and Joanne back together? What's the deal? You've been hanging with her a lot more often and-"
"Eat up, Ad-Rock," Barry cut him off, "gotta get your energy for when we go out."
"Uh, we're not going out."
"Sure we are."
"We can't, we're supposed to watch Poppy."
"We'll take her with us."
"WHAT?!"
"I know getting stuck babysitting due to an emergency is a snag, but it doesn't entirely deter our plans. We'll just take her to the mall with us."
"I've never gone anywhere with a baby before!"
"I haven't really either. Whenever I babysit for Erica and Geoff, I usually stay at their apartment. Occasionally I'll take Poppy for walks in her stroller, but I haven't done that since Geoff's last lecture. Which reminds me: we gotta make sure Poppy has a hat when we take her with us."
"What else should we bring with us?"
"Definitely diapers, maybe a bottle; I couldn't find her favorite pacifier, so if she gets upset we should bring that stupid rabbit. Thankfully the carrier doubles as a car seat, we just got to face her to the back of the car."
"What about a stroller?"
"Seems unnecessary. I mean, how would we carry all our bags if we have to push around a stroller? I doubt it would even fit in your car."
"In my car?"
"We can't take my van! Do you know how unsafe a ride that is for an infant?"
"While that is a fair point: I still don't think we should be taking her at all. Shouldn't we wait until Mom and Dad get back? Or only one of us goes to the mall?"
"Where's the fairness in that? Plus, there's no telling when Mom and Dad would be back."
"I don't know, Barry."
"We're taking precautions, we'll be prepared. We planned to go early anyway. We do that, we'll be able to return early enough where no one will be none the wiser." Adam still seemed reluctant. "And I didn't tell you guys, but Joanne and I are taking a spontaneous trip to Camaica and our flight leaves tomorrow. So what other chance will you and I get to hang out?"
"Wasn't that where you went that one spring break when-"
"I'm broke and I got a deal by pretending to be on a honeymoon! Which reminds me: if anyone from the hotel calls, our aliases are Desmond and Desdemona von Jorgenson."
"You're already assuming that trip will go wrong?"
"Sometimes, in order to learn from your previous mistakes, you have to make the mistakes again. Only this time, you're going in more smarter since the last time. Contingency plans, planning ahead, and prepping for worst case scenarios help."
"In a way, I guess that's valid." Adam paused before looking at his brother. "If a career in medicine doesn't pan out for you, you'd make a damn good politician."
"So we're going?"
"You've convinced me."
"Score!" the brothers high fived.
"I guess we are going in prepared if we bring Poppy. And it's not like we're letting her out of our sight in a crowded public location."
"Right! What's the worst that could happen?"
