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Chapter Four: Snape's Worst Memory

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"I told you, there's really nothing going on between us. I hardly even know him," Lily said patiently. Abigail stopped jumping up and down and let go of Lily's hands, but she didn't look entirely convinced.

Maybe because hardly knowing him had never been a problem before. Lily had "gone out" with a handful of boys over the past few years, but these relationships never amounted to much more than holding hands in the hallways.

The longest was with Davey Tucker, a Hufflepuff boy in her year, and it had lasted a month. Lily had spent far more time giggling about him with her friends than she had talking to him. In fact, she wasn't sure if they ever even had a proper conversation. They had mostly talked to each other in public with their respective friends lurking nearby, trying to look inconspicuous and failing spectacularly.

Lily had "broken up" with Davey almost a year ago; she had grown tired of playing boyfriend and girlfriend so their classmates would have something to gossip about. She strongly suspected that Abigail had been more disappointed over it than Davey.

Roger was something entirely different, that much was clear. But what exactly, she had no idea.

That night, after the other girls had gone to sleep, Lily dug out her long-neglected diary from the bottom of her trunk. She climbed into bed, closed her curtains, and proceeded to jot down, in resolutely neutral terms, the details of her visit to the Three Broomsticks.

When she had finished, she stared down at what she'd written, rubbing her chin nervously with the end of her quill feather. She knew the diary only came out when she had confusing feelings to sort through. But it was hard; putting feelings down in ink made them alarmingly real.

Why does everyone keep asking if I fancy him? Do I fancy him? I don't know very much about him. Ok, so he's nice… he's funny… and I have to admit dark brown hair goes really well with blue eyes…

But it doesn't matter anyway, I don't think he likes me very much. Maybe as a friend… and I might be ok with that… I just want to know, really. He's so hard to read! I wish there was a way to find out without making a complete fool of myself.

That would do for now. She set down her quill and closed the book, yawning. Halfway back to her trunk she froze, suddenly struck by an unpleasant thought.

Petunia. Her friends could be trusted not to go through her stuff, but Petunia couldn't. She was extremely nosey and they shared a room at home. If this diary wound up in her sister's hands, Lily knew she'd have to endure mean-spirited taunts about Roger for the whole summer.

She yawned again and stowed the diary in her trunk, resolving to look up a good protective hex next time she was in the library.

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The rains finally went away the weekend before O.W.L.s were to start. Melinda and Lily decided to take advantage of the good weather and headed outside after lunch on Saturday to review for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Serena and Abigail stayed in the Great Hall to practice Divination, mostly trying to foresee each other's exam results.

They flopped down under the beech tree near the edge of the lake. Lily tried to concentrate on her book, absentmindedly tearing little clumps of grass from the ground next to her. But the blazing afternoon sun and a full stomach were too powerful, and she soon rested her head on the open textbook and drifted off to sleep. Next thing she knew, she was swing dancing with the giant squid.

"Wake up, sleepyhead." Someone poked her gently in the arm. Lily opened her eyes and saw her friend Mena Singh from Ravenclaw grinning at her.

"How long have I been out?" she mumbled, closing her eyes again. The sunlight filtering through her eyelids made it bright orangey-red instead of black.

"Only half an hour," Melinda replied. She turned back to Mena and resumed some conversation they must have been having about the differences between werewolves and Animagi. Lily pulled herself into a sitting position, making a half-hearted attempt to listen while she surveyed the rest of the students scattered about the grounds. A good many of them had dozed off as well.

Then sudden movement farther up the bank caught her eye. She squinted at it, trying to make out why there was a growing commotion. Mena and Melinda heard it too and had just turned to watch when James Potter came tearing across the lawn. He had what looked like a copy of The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5 in his hand and Remus Lupin hot on his heels.

Remus was fast but James was faster, weaving through the crowd and leaping over supine students with the same grace and agility he always displayed on the Quidditch pitch. He had reached the water's edge and levitated the book several feet beyond it by the time Remus caught up. They were close enough for Lily to see the look of pure mischief alight on James's face. Remus was brandishing his wand and trying to look threatening. All the students on the lawn were watching them, and many had stood up to get a better view.

Melinda abruptly leaned over and whispered something in Mena's ear. Lily pulled her eyes off the spectacle in time to catch both of them giving her a funny look.

"What?" Lily asked, feeling highly disconcerted. But they had both turned back to watch the book inching towards the lake's surface as Remus edged towards James.

"All right, Potter?" Melinda called loudly, doing an uncanny impression of Lily's voice.

"Accio book!" Mena sang out at precisely the same moment, reaching up and catching Remus's copy of The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5.

James's head whipped around so fast--hand flying to his hair--that he lost his balance, stumbled over a nearby rock, and went crashing to the ground. Lily didn't see this because she was busy shooting Melinda a death glare, but she did hear the roar of laughter from the crowd. She turned back to see the look of pure mischief transferred to Remus's face as he advanced on his friend.

"Rictusempra!" he said with great relish.

Sirius and Peter were pushing their way through the crowd. James, still on the ground, was now curled up and laughing so hard he could barely move. Sirius took one look at James and doubled up laughing almost as hard as if someone had hit him with a Tickling Charm too. Peter's face was wavering between laughter and shock; this was the first time Remus had ever jinxed someone in front of a large audience. The fact that James was on the receiving end for once made it all the more unusual.

After about thirty seconds Remus lifted the charm.

"Say sorry," he demanded cheerfully. Trying to catch his breath, James stood up, shook his head, and found himself dangling by the ankle with his hair brushing the water.

"Say sorry!" Remus sang gleefully.

"I'm not sorry, Moony, but you will be if--" SPLASH!

Lily didn't even try to keep the enormous grin off her face as Remus strode over to collect his book.

"Have I ever told you girls how much I adore you?" he asked happily as Mena handed it back. "I mean it, I owe you one… if there's anything I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask."

"Actually…" said Melinda, waving her notes and trying not to look too pleased with herself. "Have you already studied for Defense?"

"Yeah, a bit," Remus answered. "Why? Need help on something?"

"Do you remember all the differences between werewolves and Animagi? I thought I wrote them down but my handwriting's rubbish…"

Remus blinked, then looked over his shoulder to where Peter was helping a sopping and disgruntled James out of the lake. James gave him a look that said quite plainly that this was not over. Remus responded with a carefree wave; and Lily, hoping to add a dash of insult to injury, gazed up at Remus with the best look of feminine adoration she could muster. A curious expression crossed James's face. Then he shook the water from his hair and stalked off to the castle to change. Remus turned back to the girls.

"I can't say I'm an expert," he replied casually. "But yes, I think I can tell you most of the important points."

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As it turned out, there was a werewolf question on the written part of their Defense exam. Lily was glad she had paid attention to Remus's explanation. He was remarkably well-versed on the subject, something he attributed to having read Collected Essays and Studies on Lycanthropy over the winter holiday. It wasn't hard to see why he was the best in their year at Defense Against the Dark Arts.

As she read over her responses to the theory half of the exam, Lily was confidant she had gotten most of them right. She had been a bit more worried about Defense than Charms or Potions, but it had turned out to be not much worse. She finished scanning and sat back in her chair, fanning herself with the questions sheet.

"Quills down, please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick. Lily rolled up her responses and exchanged a look of relief with Serena, who was sitting across the aisle. It was really stuffy in the Great Hall and they couldn't wait to get outside. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!"

More than a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backward off his feet. Several people laughed. A couple of students at the front desks got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows, and lifted him onto his feet again.

"Thank you… thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

Lily grabbed her things and went to meet up with her friends. They were joined by Mena and one of her Ravenclaw friends, Susan Pringle, whom Lily had hung out with a few times but didn't know as well.

"Come on!" said Melinda impatiently. "It's sweltering in here, let's get out." They hurried toward the entrance hall, hoping to beat the crowd.

"You'd think Flitwick could do a Cooling Charm for us or something," Abigail complained.

"Thank Merlin that's over," said Serena. "I'm surprised my hand hasn't fallen off yet."

"For the entire Great Hall?" said Susan, addressing Abigail. "Is that even possible?"

"There's still time," Lily told Serena. "It'll probably fall off during Transfiguration tomorrow."

"Where to?" Mena asked pointlessly, as Melinda was already leading them straight down to the lake's edge. She pulled off her shoes and socks, dipping her feet in the cool water, and the rest of them followed suit.

Lily wiggled her toes around, feeling instantly refreshed and much more relaxed. Mena and Susan were kicking sideways and splashing each other, while Melinda looked reminiscently toward the beech tree they'd been sitting under a few days before.

"What?" Abigail asked, following her gaze.

Lily did the same and saw Potter sitting under it, showing off with his Snitch for Pettigrew's amusement. He glanced over in her direction and rumpled up his already untidy hair. At least she hoped it was for Pettigrew's amusement.

"It's too bad you missed the Potter in the Water show," Melinda responded, shaking her head slowly. "It was just brilliant."

"Potter in the Water?" Susan asked, sounding confused.

"You didn't tell her!" Melinda shot Mena an accusatory look.

"I told everyone at dinner," Mena said indignantly. She directed her own accusatory look at Susan. "Somebody wasn't paying attention."

"Well are you going to tell me or not?"

Mena told her, and even though everyone else was familiar with the story, they were all giggling madly by the time she finished.

Except for Serena, whose attention was suddenly directed behind them. "Uh oh," she muttered.

Lily looked back. Severus Snape was on the ground, struggling against what looked like the Impediment Jinx. Black and Potter were advancing on him, wands up. A crowd was gathering around them and lots of people were laughing. She looked around quickly for Lupin and found him sitting under the beech tree, staring at a book.

Heart sinking, Lily pulled her feet out of the water, dried them off with her wand, and put on her socks and shoes. She kept one eye on Lupin the whole time, hoping against hope that he would decide to step in. Come on, you spineless git! she thought angrily, getting to her feet.

Her friends let out a collective gasp, and Lily's eyes snapped back to Snape. Pink soap bubbles were streaming from his mouth. She couldn't believe her eyes.

Those evil, twisted little monsters! she thought, storming towards them with her fists balled up in fury. The froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him--HOW COULD THEY?

"Leave him ALONE!"

Black and Potter turned to look at her. Potter's free hand jumped to his hair, like it did every time he noticed her.

"All right, Evans?" he said pleasantly, as though she had just joined them for tea.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated, looking at him in disgust. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said Potter, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…."

Many of the surrounding watchers found this funny. Lily was suddenly aware of all the eager eyes trained on them, but rather than unnerving her it just fueled her anger. Potter was clearly enjoying the attention.

"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said Potter quickly. "Go on… Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." He doesn't have a clue, does he?

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Black briskly, turning back. "OY!"

There was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood. Lily's breath caught in her chest. James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered. Sirius and James roared with laughter.

Lily had forgotten about Snape. He looked utterly ridiculous dangling there and she had to fight to suppress a smile. Luckily no one noticed; they were all too busy looking at Snape.

"Let him down!" she said, recovering her indignation.

"Certainly," said Potter and he jerked his wand upward. Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Black said, "Locomotor mortis!" and Snape keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted, whipping out her wand. Black and Potter eyed it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said Potter earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the countercurse. Lily couldn't help enjoying the power she had over him, just a little. A few months ago, both James and Sirius would have hexed her in a heartbeat.

"There you go," he said, as Snape struggled to his feet again, "you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus--"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked, feeling like she had been slapped. She was the only person willing to stick her neck out for Snivelly, and this was the thanks she got? "Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him. Lily felt a little thrill of satisfaction before she remembered why she was there in the first place.

"I don't want you to make him apologize," she shouted, rounding on Potter. "You're as bad as he is…."

"What?" he yelped. "I'd NEVER call you a--you-know-what!"

Lily barely heard him. She was on a roll. "Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can--I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" Potter shouted after her, "Hey, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back. Her heart was racing and she had to put as much distance between herself and James Potter as possible.

She didn't see Professor McGonagall in front of the castle until she almost ran into her. McGonagall had been frowning and looking at the crowd of students with narrowed eyes, as though trying to guess what they were up to, when she caught sight of Lily storming towards her. They crossed paths, going in opposite directions but wearing identical expressions.

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