Author's Note: Man, am I on a roll or what? Three stories updated today and I'm still going strong. Well, here's chapter five – only two more to go.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Spot Conlon, Jack Kelly or any other character from the 1992 Disney musical, Newsies

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Not Here

Maybe in another time, another place, this might just have worked.
But not here.

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Liam 'Spot' Conlon
c/o Children's Aid Society Lodging House
61 Poplar Street
Brooklyn, New York 11201

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August 8, 1900

Spot,

You know, I wasn't the one who started this… thing. You were the one, remember? I was happy (I think) when the strike ended. We won and made Pulitzer feel like an ass. And I had Sarah.

I'm not sure if she's what I wanted but I had her and I was good with that. I'm getting old Spot. I'm eighteen now. I can't be selling papes forever.

And then you had to go and blow it all for me. Yeah, I'm blaming this whole mess on you. Why didn't you go back to Brooklyn that night? The God damn governor his self let you in his carriage. Why didn't you go?

You didn't. I remember it well. The boys and I finished selling and I spent the evening at David's house…with Sarah. I had just left her and had began to go back to the Lodging House when I saw you.

Or did you see me? You must have because, before I knew it, you had approached me from behind. It was not the first time we had been intimate.

Remember that drunken night in Brooklyn? I do…

You kissed me, out in public. I forgot Sarah at once. I never told you that, did I? Yeah, your kiss was that good.

God I miss it. I miss you.

Shit.

You know, it's been over a year now since that night. Why is it that I can still taste you. Still feel you?

Damn you, Spot. What the fuck did you do to me? I can't take it anymore. I love you and that's why I can't be with you.

I'm getting married, Spot. A nice broad, Rosie. She's the only daughter of my boss – he's an old soldier who hired me to help him around his his house. He gave me a bed to stay in and food when I needed it. He's a good guy, Mister Dale.

And Rosie… She likes me, Spot, and I know what's expected of me. I asked her to marry me. I had to do it – do you understand? I did it and she said yes. We'll be married in the Fall.

I love you, Spot (Spot is crossed out) Liam. And I'm sure that I always will. But I can't do this anymore.

And I'm sorry.

(I seem to be apologizing way too much. But I need to. If anything, I feel better. Selfish, I know. You're right, I am a fucking prick. Sorry, again.)

I hope you're happy. For me, be happy. Find a girl, settle down. It's all you can do.

Love,

Jack
(Jack is crossed out)
Francis