Skoodge and Zim sat at the table in Zim's kitchen with a bag of rapidly vanishing chips between them as both Irkens tried their best to continue as normal despite the heavy air of impending war that seemed to have settled in the base. "I mean," Skoodge shoved a handful of chips in his mouth as he thought about the question Zim had asked. "Are we talking like an actual fight? Or a battle of wits? Because there's a difference."

"Actual fight." Zim replied quickly. "No weapons either- just natural talent."

"Are cybernetic enhancements considered weapons?"

"Hmm..." Zim had to think on this. "No. But any guns in the cybernetics are weapons and are offline." Skoodge paused.

"I see." This was a hard question, given that the only details were ones he had gotten from Zim . "Then I suppose if your entire class from when you first landed on Earth were to get into a Battle Royal, I would imagine the teacher would have won."

"See!" Zim sounded satisfied. "That's what I said! Bitters would have easily been the victor- excluding myself. However, obviously I'm the one hosting the fight."

"Obviously." Skoodge agreed.

"But Dib thinks he would have won."

"Oh... oh no. That's unlikely."

"Exactly!" Zim's point was a little lost as at that very moment, a soft, toy bullet struck the Irken directly in the back of the head. Zim whipped around just in time to see Tenn retreating back into the ceiling. Skoodge had seen her poking her head out and aiming her toy gun, but had decided not to seemed to enjoy her little fire fights- and the gun was fake anyway. "Tenn!" Zim grabbed a different toy gun from under the table and fired it at the hole in the ceiling .

"CELING SNIPER CLAIMS ANOTHER VICTORY!" Tenn's giggling voice announced her triumph as Zim's dart hit the tiles and bounced harmlessly to the floor. Tenn had moved in with Zim and Skoodge when the Syndicate had decided she had been a great ally during the escape from the Massive. While they still had most of her PAK functions locked- she was no longer in prison; now she was on house-arrest... in Zim's house.

"Stupid ceiling sniper." Zim grumbled putting the gun back on the table. Skoodge lifted an antenna as he saw the ceiling continue to move.

"She's coming back." He warned, but it was too late as Zim was nailed with another squishy dart to the head. Both of Zim's antennae drooped in annoyance. "Told you."

"CB will you stand idly by and do NOTHING to protect your Master!?" Zim huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I think we all know he won't bother helping you." Skoodge replied, taking a sip from the mug he had filled with an Irken beverage they had managed to make with just the weird ingredients on Earth. "Your security AI is an asshole."

"It's a security AI?" Tenn asked as she poked her head out from her ceiling fortress, now interested in the conversation. "I thought it was just like an entertainment AI or something."

"It was supposed to be the AI for my home base." Zim put his head on the table. "But he has not done much to actually protect the base." Skoodge kept quiet as he knew that Zim was lying to Tenn. He had weaseled out CB's true purpose and if she knew- it was likely she would take Skoodge's very uneasy stance on the matter.

" Sorry, were you attacked ?" CB must have picked up on the fact that the Irkens were discussing him, as his little hologram shimmered into view.

"Twice." Zim glared at his AI making an emphatic gesture toward Tenn. "Where were you?!"

" Busy. "

"Busy?" Skoodge narrowed his eyes. He didn't like when CB was cryptically vague. He wasn't 100% on board with CB as a concept and the idea of a defective Control Brain withholding information from him, left him with a sour taste in his mouth.

" Affirmative. By the way, Dib is calling. "

"Why?" Zim made a face. It seemed the former Invader was not at all distressed by the dismissive attitude of his computer.

" I do not know. I typically ignore him when he is talking about things unrelated to me. "

"Why not just call my cellphone?" Zim blinked.

" Because, Master, if you recall: GIR ate your cellphone ."

" IT TASTED LIKE LONELINESS AND FAJITAS! " The SIR chimed in running back and forth through CB's holographic form making the AI visibly cringe.

"That's right. That did happen, didn't it? And you did not want to retrieve the phone for me despite my commands!" He pointed an accusatory claw in CB's direction .

" I am not putting my hands in GIR's mouth, Master. I have seen what goes in there. I would do many things for you- but I still have standards . "

" And I don't !" GIR added helpfully.

"CB you coward."

" Sir, I- "

"COWARD! Now patch the fat headed human slug through for Zim ."

" As you wish ." CB vanished and was replaced by a hologram of Zim's human companion who looked as if he had not slept since the Earth was formed (so, no different from how he usually appeared). Tenndropped down from the ceiling, intrigued.

"Hey Zim , I'm guessing your cellphone is still unavailable?" Dib asked dryly. All at once the three Irkens looked to the defective SIR who was shoving a potted plant into his mouth- roots first. They looked back to Dib in one fluid motion.

"Yes." Zim replied simply.

"How's progress on the war declaration ?" Skoodge asked. He could have gone to the Captain, herself, but with things as uneasy as they were between the Irkens and the Syndicate and the moment (despite Skoodge , Zim , and Tenn being considered heroes) the robust (former) Invader felt uncomfortable going into a Syndicate meeting.

"Lor says it's progressing as expected." Dib gave a shrug. "I'll be honest, the Syndicate has a lot more bureaucracy than I was envisioning."

"That's the Syndicate in a nutshell: be free, be proud, be unified, and spend a better part of your adult years filling out forms in triplicate." Skoodge mused.

"Nice." Tenn and Zim both high fived Skoodge.

"Hey!" Lor popped into the holographic image looking offended. "We're trying to go about this as diplomatically as we can. We should be having the meeting with our High Council by tomorrow afternoon, Earth time."

"You haven't even met with the High Council yet?" Skoodge lifted one of his antennae. "It's been weeks ."

"It's a process , Mister Skoodge ." Lor huffed.

"Anyway," Dib nudged Lor gently to move him out of the main focus of the camera. "I just needed to ask you guys something, and you can say: no . In fact, I implore you all to say no. But my stepmom is insisting that I invite some 'friends' over to celebrate my birthday today. I told her that now is really not the time for this but you have seen how pushy she gets. And because she wants it, now dad is bothering me about it and it's awful."

"What's a birthday?" Tenn looked to the other Irkens for an answer.

"I've been here three years, and honestly, I'm still not entirely sure about the concept." Lor admitted, leaning partially over Dib to reply.

" Zim knows this!" The smallest of the Invaders spoke up with immense pride. "It is a celebration of the days humans are hatched."

"Oh. I thought humans gave birth to live young." Skoodge lowered his voice.

"Well they do, and don't look it up because it's horrifying." Zim also lowered his voice.

"Live young usually is ." Tenn added, also now whispering.

"So that's something you celebrate on Earth?" Skoodge tilted his head uncertainly. As of their visit to the Massive, Skoodge had found himself in the same situation as Zim . The Tallest, at some point, had disconnected him from the Collective as well, which explained why it was so easy for his fellow Irkens to mistake him for being dead. However, this disconnect made it slightly harder to gather information on command from his PAK. It could still be done, but the process was now more tedious, and thus he just preferred having things explained, rather than wasting his energy on looking up dumb facts about human culture. "Weren't you cloned?"

"You guys can just not go." Dib put his hand to his face and dragged it down slowly in exasperation. "Remember? I said that at the beginning. I mean, Lor is already going and for some reason the Captain and Conner insisted on coming-"

"We are also coming then!" Zim cut him off, holding out his hand in a declarative stance. "The Irkens will not be out- birthdayed by Syndicate scum!"

"I'm still in the call you know." Lor narrowed his eyes.

" Zim didn't mean it." Skoodge and Tenn both quickly grabbed Zim trying to cover his mouth. Sure, Skoodge had made a joke at the Syndicate's expense, but he had not gone so far as to call them scum to their faces. However, for a small Irken , Zim was surprisingly strong and squirmy. He was able to get free with ease.

" Zim means scum as a term of friendly banter." Zim added. "I know things are not great between the Syndicate and the Empire right now, but we are still friends."

"It might not be a terrible idea to go just as a show of good faith..." Tenn looked to Skoodge for confirmation. "It could help to remind the Captain that not all Irkens are murder-zombies before she goes to speak with the High Council."

"I don't think a party is really going to make her forget about all the homicide attempts, but we'll be happy to have you guys." Lor replied with a cheerful little wave. Dib didn't look particularly happy, but he didn't look upset either. He seemed indifferent, more or less, to the Irkens choice to attend the birthday celebration.

"We'll go." Skoodge agreed. "It won't mend the rift the assault on the Massive created- but it might help ease the tensions."

"Great. I'll see you guys at my apartment around six. If you don't come though, I really won't care." Dib reiterated his opening statement about the party being optional. However, there was more to this event than just the arbitrary celebration of his successful cloning. Skoodge had not had the chance to talk to Captain Rose since she more or less left Tenn on Zim's doorstep.

"Oh! And you gotta bring a gift!" Lor added before Dib could hang up the call. "I have been to enough birthdays to know that custom."

"Gift?" Tenn's antenna perked up. " So you get offerings on your day? I want a birthday."

"You don't have to do that." Dib sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Are the Syndicate bringing gifts?" Zim asked, skeptically.

"God, I hope not." Dib replied. However, at the same time Lor added: "They are!"

"Then we will bring gifts too! We will be at your party at seven, human filth!" And with that Zim ended the call. Skoodge looked at the clock seeing it was already noon. That didn't really leave them a whole lot of time to research birthdays and get Dib gifts. Still it didn't seem like Dib expected too much from them, so Skoodge was confident they wouldn't be held to much scrutiny. Plus, it seemed almost every guest would be an alien (and he knew the Syndicate well enough to know they were not well acquainted with the concept of birthdays either).

The whole day was pretty much trying to learn everything they could about birthdays and birthday parties. Humans had dedicated a lot of their filmography to the concept- so it had to be important. Honestly, as far as Skoodge was concerned, it was nice to have something to think about aside from the impending, intergalactic war.

Even if it was a stupid concept like a birthday.

They also had to help Tenn with her human disguise. She was capable of designing it herself, but since she had no access to her Invader's equipment, she had to rely on Zim's base for its construction. By the time they were all ready to go to the apartment, it was already 7:00. The Irkens ended up piling into a rental car (their previous car had been Skoodge's cruiser, which had been blown up on the Massive) and Skoodge drove them back to the apartment complex where he and Zim had initiated their first show down with the Syndicate.

There were a few cars he didn't really recognize outside along with the vehicles Skoodge knew belonged to Dib and Lor respectively. He turned around, checking that everyone had their gifts and were disguised adequately enough in the unlikely event Dib had other friends in attendance. Once he was satisfied, they piled out of the car and headed to the door. Dib answered, looking a tad surprised to see them. "You actually showed up."

"Of course! We were invited !" Zim sounded genuinely offended by Dib's comment. "And Zim will be damned if he lets the Syndi-" Dib put a hand to the Irken's mouth.

"Shh."

"Junior, who is it?" The Membrane mother's voice called to Dib from the apartment's interior. Skoodge immediately realized to whom the other cars must belong.

"Just some friends." Dib stepped aside letting the Irkens in the apartment where the three other members of Dib's family unit were already sitting.

"Dad, you remember Zim ."

"The little green boy!" Professor Membrane looked over, seeing Zim in his new disguise. "And he has been cured!"

"Medical science is a marvel." Dib replied flatly.

" Zim it's good to see you again." Moira Membrane stood and Skoodge and Tenn immediately had to look up as she ended up being quite the toweringly tall woman. All the Membranes stood over six feet, which for Irkens , was incredible.

"Oh, this is Skoodge ." Zim replied without thinking. "My..." he trailed off looking to Dib, then Skoodge , then Tenn for any sort of help. "... husband?" He posed it more like a question but the Membranes didn't seem to catch the hesitation.

"Lovely to meet you! Zim's been a great friend of Dib's for years." Moira offered her hand to Skoodge who shook it.

"Oh yes, Zim introduced us before." Skoodge did his best to parrot the human small talk he had seen on the soap operas that always seemed to be playing whenever he finally weaseled control of the TV from either of the busted robots in Zim's base.

"And Tenn is my..." Zim faltered again. "Wi-" He was going to say wife as the 'husband' comment had been so readily accepted. But Skoodge realized it was not common for humans to have multiple spouses and quickly cut him off.

"Widowed sister." Skoodge finished with seamless confidence. "Tenn is Zim's sister, recently widowed and came to live with him."

"Yes! Widowed sister! Her spouse was killed in honorable combat...by... um..." Zim was unable to quit while ahead and was faltering again. "Santa..." Skoodge brought his own hand to his face and dragged it down in complete exasperation, but when he looked up, he saw the professor, eyes watery behind the goggles, as if he were holding back tears. He fell to his knees and placed a black gloved hand on Tenn's shoulder, sniffling audibly.

"We'll get him one day. Stay strong."

"I try every day." Tenn played along perfectly with her contacts filling with tears as she looked dramatically off to the side.

"Honey," Moira patter her husband on the shoulder and the professor stood back up.

"Right! No time for life-long vendettas! This is a celebration of my boy child!" He patted Dib on the back, surprising the clone as he stumbled forward a bit- clearly not expecting the sudden affection. "Sit down, you can put your gifts on the table!"

"Is this everyone, Junior?" Moira asked as Zim , Skoodge , and Tenn were ushered to the couch were Dib's sister was playing on a hand-held Game Station; Skoodge recognized Carrius's human form sitting with Lor; and the Captain's human disguise at the table. (At least, Skoodge was pretty sure that was the Captain, he had not seen her human disguise before, but the older looking human woman was a Tangean ).

"It's everyone I invited." Dib surveyed the room with the faintest hint of a smile.

"Great! Your father and I will grab the cake!" And with that the ginger haired woman whisked herself away, toward the kitchen.

"Did she put lasers in the cake?" The Captain asked, taking a sip from a coffee mug in front of her. Dib laughed.

"I mean, given their track record-"

"Did you want lasers in it?" His dad's voice called from the kitchen. Skoodge assumed one of the many cybernetic implants he had picked up on both of the Membrane parents was responsible for the increased range of hearing. "Because your mother and I have been working out a new sugar-based weapon system that-"

"It was a joke, dad!" Dib called back.

"Good hearing..." Carrius remarked, looking in the direction of the Membranes.

"Thank you! We invented the cybernetic implants ourselves!" The professor's voice shouted back in response. It wasn't long before they emerged with a nicely sized cake, decorated with cute but cliché looking little aliens and flying saucers (no Invader that Skoodge knew would be caught dead in something so clunky and old). There was a number 21 on the cake, which Skoodge figured was the number of consecutive years in which Dib had been successfully alive. It wasn't all that impressive given all three Irkens had a hundred years on him, but it was quaint that the humans found it something worth celebrating. They even ignited the cake and had Dib extinguish the flames (perhaps as a display of power?). The cake was then dismembered and distributed to the guests. Skoodge kept an eye on how much the Irkens would try to consume as human food was not easy on Irken digestion. So far though, Skoodge was enjoying himself.

Of course, it was difficult to do any real talking with the Membrane parents, hovering around Dib, constantly in conversation.

"We can leave you alone to have fun with your friends, Diego, but first your father and I want to give you your gift." Moira must have been able to read the room because after the cake was devoured and cleaned up, she started to gather their things.

"You really don't have to..." Dib, throughout the whole day, seemed a bit like he was in shock. He kept looking around as if not quite believing what was in front of him.

"Nonsense son! It's a great gift!" His father replied, proudly .

"It's not some kind of weird, crazy weapon, again; is it?" Dib looked skeptically at his parents who exchanged a confused look.

"No darling, why? Did you want one?"

"Seriously son," the professor put a hand to his shoulder, "just name the type of weapon and ammo you want it to fire. And, I cannot stress this enough, if you say you want a rifle that fires live honey badgers- I have great news."

"What?" Dib squinted at his father in complete disbelief.

" Never mind ! Here is your gift son!" His father handed him a very small, wrapped box. Confused, Dib unwrapped it, opening the lid and taking out a small projector.

"Wow... thanks..." He held the hologram projector up.

"That's... that's not the gift, Junior." His mom sighed. "Press the button." Dib did as instructed; pressing the blinking blue button and a three-dimensional hologram of a nicely sized warehouse-looking building appeared. The image zoomed in, displaying a lab filled with all sorts of equipment for every branch of science. Dib blinked.

"Wait... is this...?"

"Your own lab! The address is on the back of the projector!" Dib's mother was absolutely grinning with anticipation as the realization clicked in.

"We thought it was about time you had your own workspace, son."

"Really!?" Dib's eyes lit up as he finally understood the gift in full. "This is amazing! All of the equipment in it too? That's all mine!?"

"All yours son," Membrane put a hand on his son's shoulder, squeezing slightly. "We're very proud of you." Dib was completely in shock, he kept messing with the hologram, looking at all the new gear that he would have at his fingertips. Skoodge had to admit, this would be a benefit to their needs as well. Dib had just gained quite the array of resources. If things didn't come to a peaceful conclusion with the Syndicate and Earth got put in danger- they might need to use some of the supplies the Membranes had just offered. "It's got a retinal scanner, so if you replace your eyes with better ones, you'll need to recode the security system."

"Yeah yeah , that makes sense." Dib was still enthralled with the hologram. "Thank you... thank you both."

"And that new telescope," Moira zoomed in on a rather intricate looking telescope that was positioned at the heart of the lab, "that's from your sister."

"You bought me the telescope I wanted?" Dib looked over to Gaz who briefly looked up, a smirk on her face.

"Don't think too much on it. You hadn't stopped whining about that thing since it went on the market and I just wanted you to shut up."

"What a good sister," Moira mused, chuckling to herself. "Well, we'll leave you to have your fun. Gazline , are you coming back with us?" Moira looked over to the purple haired human who was still relaxed on the couch.

"Nah, I'll stay a little longer."

"That's fine, you took your own car so just text us when you're heading home or if you need a lift." Moira didn't push the issue. "Happy birthday Diego."

"Happy Birthday, son!" And with that they left- or- began to leave; because immediately the door opened back up. "Oh, we saw your weird, radioactive cat pawing at the door so we let it in." And the door closed again. Dib leapt to his feet.

"Radioactive cat- wait!" There was the sound of bones crunching and skin stretching as Q shifted into his humanoid form, entering the room. "Why the fuck are you here!?" There was no answer that Skoodge was able to understand, but clearly Q had spoken as Dib recoiled, making a face. "What do you mean you want cake!? I thought you ate souls or some shit." Dib's expression grew more annoyed. "I'm not being dramatic- fuck you."

"We can all agree the Parasite sucks," Tenn waved off Dib's concern. "But you have more gifts to open!" She ran to the table grabbing her own gift and offering it forward.

"I didn't even tell him where we lived..." Dib was still looking uncomfortable at Q who had snagged part of the leftover cake and was helping himself.

"Open my gift!" Tenn demanded. Dib sighed, taking the box and opening it. His face looked completely unsurprised.

"This is a gun."

"It's an IRKEN gun!" Tenn specified.

"Ch, that's lame! Dib open mine!" Carrius hopped off the couch running to the table and handing Dib a bigger box. Dib's expression had not changed, and continued to stay stagnant as he opened the box from Carrius and looked inside.

"Another gun."

"A SYNDICATE gun !"

"Thanks..." Dib sighed putting both guns back on the table. The weapons had gotten the interest of Gaz who got up from her seat on the couch, examining each of the guns with intrigue. "We don't really need to do gifts though-"

"Open Zim's next!" Zim leapt over Skoodge in an attempt to grab his box from the table. He shoved it forcefully in Dib's arms. Dib sighed and began to open the box. He looked inside, then back at Zim who puffed his chest out proudly. "You are speechless with the amazingness of Zim's truly awesome gift!" The Irken smirked.

"I... don't know what it is." Dib pulled a small, glassy-eyed and vaguely Irken looking little robot. Zim blinked looking slightly confused himself. But he cleared his throat, shaking his head. He took the robot from Dib.

"It's one of Zim's inventions!"

"And what does it do?"

"It... hm..." Zim frowned. " Zim forgets. But it is clearly something incredible! So incredible I probably made myself forget so the information doesn't fall into the hands of the enemy." All at once the tiny doll began to let out a very loud, piercing wail. Everyone jumped back and Zim nearly dropped it. "Ah HA!" he shouted over the shrieks. "That's what it does!"

"It screams!?" Dib asked as he covered his ears.

"It's not that bad." Zim sounded annoyed and confirmed Skoodge's suspicion that Zim was at least mostly deaf. "But no. It only screams if you take it from its spot."

"Well put it the fuck back!" Dib ordered.

"Well that is hard to do because it sometimes changes its spot arbitrarily and you need to figure out where it wants to go." Zim scurried around the apartment putting the doll in all sorts of weird spots. All of the sudden, the screaming stopped and the doll sat contented on a small stack of books in the corner of the hallway.

"What if I need those books...?" Dib raised an eyebrow.

"You don't. They belong to the doll now." Zim patted Dib's arm. The human shook his head but there seemed to be a small smile on his face.

"Thanks Zim ."

" You should open my gift ." CB's voice piped up from Dib's phone on the table. Zim blinked.

"Oh right! CB wanted us to give you this." There was a beautifully wrapped little gift complete with a perfectly symmetrical bow. Dib ripped it open and pulled out a rather advanced wrist watch, constructed (at least in part) with Irken technology.

" It is a smart watch ."

"Oh, wow CB. Thank you. That is really thoughtful." Dib was looking it over, intrigued by the new tech. He powered it on and the blue lights illuminated across the face and band.

" And it is me. I am the operating system. "

"Right. Of course you are." Dib sighed. "Aren't you already my phone, car, and my parents' house AI? Do you need to be the watch?"

" Yes. I like to be lots of things. Also, GIR made you a sandwich. The other part of my gift is that I threw it out of a window. The ingredients would have killed you. "

"Thank you CB ." Dib put the watch on, if only to please the AI for the time being. As he turned back around a very dead rat was dropped at his feet. Dib looked at Q who had gone through all of the trouble of putting a bow in it. "Ew." He remarked dryly. There was a moment of silence before Dib narrowed his eyes at the seven-eyed abomination. "I find it very hard to believe that giving people dead rats is a 'part of your culture'."

"It's not." Skoodge interjected as he grabbed his gift from the table. He stepped over the dead rat as he handed his box to Dib.

"Is this another gun?"

"No." He assured him. Dib shrugged, unwrapping the gift. His eyes widened and he got a genuinely excited expression.

"Is this all of Mysterious Mysteries on HD Blu-Ray;Sonic : X12?"

"Yes, I heard it was your favorite show."

"That's... actually really nice of you Skoodge ." Dib put the box set back on the table.

"Are we doing gifts now?" The Captain took a sip from her cup, watching Dib's array of bizarre gifts as they were each revealed. "You can have an A on a paper."

"Which one?" Dib blinked.

"I don't know, Diego," The Captain heaved a heavy sigh, "you've turned in so little." Dib had a bit of a guilty expression as he rubbed the back of his head.

"I think that's academic fraud, actually." Dib was starting to protest, but Lor interrupted grabbing a carefully wrapped little box from the table.

" Ooo can we do my gift!?"

"Sure, why not?" Dib shrugged taking the box and unwrapping it. There was a small, floating sphere inside. Dib squinted at it in confusion. "It's... a snowglobe?"

"No no , you gotta do this..." Lor pressed on the side of the globe and the room become filled with a projection of a galaxy complete with the planets' orbits mapped out with helpful little rings. "And you can zoom in and out by moving your hand." Lor demonstrated with a flick of his wrist that brough them to a very distinct blue planet with swirling, wild clouds. There were land masses barely visible beneath the misty atmosphere. "See, that's my home planet..."

"I thought your home planet was destroyed." Gaz spoke up, confirming she was very much aware of her surroundings despite never really looking up.

"Not that one, the one I was raised on." Lor replied quickly. Skoodge recognized the hazy blue sphere as Capitol Planet- it seemed the entire map was just demonstrating Syndicate territory with some added flair. Dib must not have realized he had received the Syndicate equivalent of a map because he was entranced by the images. "Plus, it matches that tattoo you have on your back, I figured you just liked that space aesthetic."

" So you know about my brother's dorky back tattoo." Gaz smirked. Lor's face reddened slightly.

"I mean..." he cleared his throat, letting the subject drop. Dib seemed to have missed the conversation entirely as he was completely entranced by the galaxy on display in his living room .

"Lor, this is amazing..."

"It's actually not." Zim piped up. "It's just fancy Syndicate propaganda." Zim walked over, tapping his finger to the hologram of Capitol Planet and pulling up a helpful blurb in Tangean that outlined the planet and its most popular sites. "And since you can't read Tangean it's not even good propaganda." The former Invader tisked , shaking his head in disappointment. "This is why I am the Dib-stink's best friend, Kryptonian ."

" Actually, I am Dib's best friend. He said it on the ship ."

"You are still grounded for like septuple forever CB so you can just shut up."

"Well actually I'm Dib b-" Lor was beginning to say something else but he was cut off by Tenn and Carrius who had apparently decided that the only way to decide who had the better gun was to arm wrestle for it. Tenn , despite her superior Irken strength, must have not realized the size discrepancy was quite a disadvantage because Carrius ended up straight-up throwing her into the coffee table that had been hidden by the hologram.

"Really guys?" Dib had not been paying attention to all the buildup to the tossing of a small Irken through a solid glass table had come out of nowhere for him. Q must have taken this as an invitation as one of the writhing, red, tentacled appendages he had poorly disguised as a scarf, grabbed Zim by the ankle and in, one fluid motion, tossed him on top of Tenn. "Hey! Stop throwing people- all of you!" Dib's words had not even left his mouth before Q, himself went flying into the Irken pile. Dib whipped around "LOR!"

"Sorry, I thought it was a customary thing." Lor, with his heightened speed, must have been the one who threw Q.

"Stand down boys, this is school property." The Captain didn't make much of a move to actually intervene as she remained sitting at the table, rubbing her temples.

"Well Carrius is the one who broke the table- and also my door." Lor tried to defend himself as he looked at the shattered table. Zim and Tenn were fine, of course (and Q too, Skoodge supposed, but he didn't actually care), but Zim looked irate. "Did I mention that in my report? He kicked down my door so he could make a dramatic entrance."

"And it was dramatic. So I was successful. Sacrifices had to be made, brother." Carrius sounded far too pleased with the results.

"Rematch!" Tenn was instantly back on her feet.

"You're on!"

" Zim gets the wrestle with the winner to prove superiority!" Zim declared, standing on top of Q only to get tossed into a wall by another scarf-like extremity as the Parasite stood up.

"My money is on the Irken ." Gaz remarked as she relaxed back on the couch, with Q having been tossed, she now had considerably more room.

"Guys come on not in the apartment..." Dib began to protest, but trailed off. He sighed, but gradually, it turned into a chuckle, then a laugh. Skoodge briefly wondered if this was some sort of mental breakdown caused by stress- as humans could be prone to those in times of great duress. However, his scanners indicated Dib was actually quite happy.

"Is this why you did not initially want a party?" Skoodge had to ask given that things had quickly devolved into chaos in the house. (He had to feel bad for Captain Rose as it appeared her new First Officer and her ship's doctor both shared a single, collective braincell that had to be exchanged between the two of them).

"No... actually, it's the best birthday I've ever had..." Dib was still laughing, though it had quieted, slightly. "Which is really sad given what everyone's been through."

"That is sad." Zim remarked, trying to re-adjust his wig. "Your other birthdays must have been truly pathetic."

"Well..." Dib looked reminiscent for a moment, "considering the last time I actually had a birthday party... I was eight. I had invited the whole class and the only one who showed up was Gaz... not even dad came." Lor put a hand on Dib's shoulder but before he could speak, Zim interrupted.

"Well that is before you met me. If you had invited me, I would have gone."

" Thanks Zim that -"

"It would have been to kill you, probably. But I still would have gone."

"Yeah." Dib's expression turned bemused. " Thanks, Zim . I appreciate it."

"We should do some kind of party game!" Lor spoke up, immediately trying to lighten the mood as he grabbed Dib by the arm. "We should play Monopoly."

"AH YES!" Zim hopped up on the couch barely missing hitting Gaz's outstretched leg. She growled at him and he quickly jumped back down. " Zim is good at that game."

"You kids do that. I have a lot on my plate tonight." Captain Rose finally stood, running a hand through her fake, human hair (a mousey brown rather than her natural bright red). "I better head out. The High Council expects a full presentation."

"I'll walk you out!" Skoodge hurried to open the door for her. This was exactly what Skoodge had been waiting for, a moment to speak with the Captain about her proposal.

"Thanks for coming by Captain!" Lor saluted. Carrius also did his best to salute, though he picked upTenn (who he was still arm wrestling with) in the process.

"Thank you, professor." Dib started to try to walk her to the door but his attention was grabbed by Zim throwing down the Monopoly board. It was better if it was just Skoodge and the Captain, anyway, so the former Invader was pleased that Zim had gotten Dib's focus. The Captain walked outside and Skoodge closed the door behind them both.

"I think I can find my way to the base." The Captain remarked, folding her arms over her chest, looking down at him (even in his human form the Irken was still a good bit shorter than the Tangean woman. "But I assume you know that."

"I do..." Skoodge slowly inhaled. "I wanted to talk to you about your proposition to the High Council. I know you've been saying that war is the only option but..." he looked up at her, "I was hoping that you might have changed your mind."

"Your people tried to murder us in the night, Mister Skoodge." She sounded annoyed by the suggestion having been posed. "That is not usually behavior we overlook in people claiming to be our allies. We get enough of that from our enemies."

"I'm aware that the situation looks bad... but the Irkens involved could be conspiring. You said yourself they did not seem to be acting normally."

"I'll admit... the situation did feel... unusual." She looked away from Skoodge , out over the parking lot of the college apartment complex. There were humans still milling about as the night was young, but no one was paying them any mind.

"I only want to bring to your attention that if the Empire wanted a war with you, we would have declared one ourselves." Skoodge was not going to lie- he was not a fan of the current regime, but he also had no desire to see his home locked in combat with a government of almost equal power and influence. No matter how this played out there would be steep casualties on both sides. "The Tallests are not great, I'm not here to defend them, but they aren't exactly warmongers... at least... not toward intergalactic powers like yourselves..."

"You aren't exactly doing much to convince me." The Captain's eyes narrowed as she looked back toward him.

"I'm only asking that you at least try to contact them once more- with the High Council present. Maybe if the call comes directly from Capitol Planet-"

"You don't think we've tried that?" Her finger tapped against her arm impatiently as she shot down every argument Skoodge brought forth.

"I just think there is more to this than the Tallests arbitrarily deciding to break a several-hundred-yearlong treaty."

"Perhaps there is," Captain Rose seemed to soften her stance, just slightly, enough to for Skoodge to know she was listening. "But we have no evidence as to what other motivations there could be for what happened..." She put her hand on Skoodge's shoulder. "I don't hate Irkens , Mister Skoodgs , and I don't enjoy fighting... but I can't pretend those actions on the ship were just a weird series of accidents." She let her hand fall from his shoulder and returned to her crossed-arms position. "Look, I can't say for sure what is going to happen tomorrow but I can tell you still have a lot to say on the matter." She shifted restlessly from one foot to the next. "How about you speak to the High Council? This was supposed to be the official debate about the war declaration, I'm sure they would love to hear an Irken perspective."

This was probably the best offer Skoodge was going to get, given the circumstances on the Massive, so he nodded. "I would like to come."

"Very good. I'll message you when we begin. As you know, Syndicate High Council meetings have a tendency to run long, so expect to commit the rest of your day to us." The Captain unfolded her arms at last making a little finger-gun gesture in Skoodge's direction. It must have been something she had picked up during her time on Earth because the gesture was meaningless to the Tangean race. "Bring your lunch, dinner, and probably tomorrows breakfast."

"Thanks for hearing me out." Skoodge bowed his head to her. "I look forward to speaking to the esteemed members of the Syndicate's legendary High Council."

"Save the flattery for your speech." She smirked, hand on her hip. "Now go back inside and make sure my doctor and first officer don't destroy the apartment."

"I'm more worried about Zim and Tenn, honestly.:" Skoodge smirked.

"And well you should be." The Captain turned on her heel. "Goodby Mister Skoodge." He watched her go before turning to go back in Dib's apartment. As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted with the Monopoly board flying directly at his face.

"This game is awful!" Zim complained not even realizing he had almost nailed Skoodge in the face. "And Q is clearly cheating."

"He can't cheat at this." Dib rubbed the bridge of his nose. "And Tenn's the one who bought all four railroads."

"If you wish to use them, you may ask your new Queen." Tenn replied brightly.

"You're not a queen. I still own Park Place." Carrius huffed. Tenn grabbed him by the collar pulling him down to look in her eyes.

"I am basically Mothra to you, peon!"

"Fight to the death." Gaz ordered.

Skoodge watched the game continue well into the night, despite the board having been dislodged. The whole event was far more entertaining than he had anticipated- especially given his only reason going had been to speak with the Captain.

By the time Lor, Dib, Gaz, and Carrius had grown too tired to carry on, it was the early hours of the next morning. The chaos of the party had been fun, but surprisingly draining for the Irkens. Skoodge vaguely wondered, as he drove them home, if being disconnected from the Collective had anything to do with the energy levels of their PAKs. It was doubtful, it was probably more the result of consuming too much human food and their PAKs having to go into overdrive to heal their bodies from the absolute garbage nutrition of Earth cuisine.

So, when they all arrived at Zim's base, Skoodge decided it was best to get some sleep.

The next morning, Skoodge was awakened by an absolutely terrible pounding on the door. He looked over, seeing Zim had passed out beside him and thus ruling him out as the culprit. Tenn was unaccounted for, but Skoodge doubted it was her as he had not been hit with a nerf dart. Begrudgingly, he dragged himself off the soft cushions and unhooked his PAK from the charger. He took Zim's toilet elevator up to the top floor, rubbing his eyes and grumbling the entire way.

This had better not be the Captain telling him the meeting had started- it was far too early for him to argue on behalf of his people.

Skoodge finally reached the door, opening it and-

No. Fucking. Way.

They were there, right in front of him- in sub-par human disguises.

"Ah, Invader Skoodge !" Tallest Red cleared his throat.

"You may grovel at our feet now." Tallest Purple gestured to the dirty walkway in Zim's front yard. Skoodge blinked.

"It's too early for this shit." And with that, he slammed the door closed.