" One billion nine hundred ninety-seven million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-three bottles of Poop cola on the wall, one billion nine hundred ninety-seven million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-three bottles of poop cola~ Take one down, pass it around one billion nine hundred ninety-seven million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-two bottles of Poop cola~ "

"Do you have... like... an off switch?" Voel was lying on the floor of the cruiser, his body too tall to fit comfortably, so his legs were partially up the wall. Therron had withdrawn into a corner trying to ignore the constant singing that had been barraging their auditory senses without a single break for breath or rest.

" Well... no. I am a hologram. But I am also the ship so any sort of 'off switch' would result in the overall shutdown of your life-support systems and leave you both floating back out in the vacuum of space ." At least the computer would pause to answer questions- that was one saving grace. However, it was hard to think of questions when he was being barraged with the number of "Poop-cola" bottles on some hypothetical wall that would need to be planet sized to hold all of these fucking bottles. Voelnarrowed his eyes at the hologram.

"That might be worth the death."

"Can't you just stop?" Therron pleaded, clearly unable to ignore the singing despite his best efforts. "We know the song now. We get it!"

" I'll stop when I reach the end ." The computer replied indignantly.

"That will take SEVENTY-SIX EARTH YEARS!" Voel couldn't help but yell. He had lost his kingdom, his title, his life of luxury, and now he was slowly losing his mind.

" Seventy-three. I do not need to breathe ." The Computer turned back to the controls that he wasn't even really using and Voel began to strongly consider risking his life back out in the void of space. " One billion nine hundred ninety-seven million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-two bottles of Poop Cola on the wall..."

Floating in the lifeless chasm of space, slowly starving to death didn't sound that bad now that he was really thinking about it.

"This has to be some sort of backhanded revenge by Zim. You function too well for this to be a programming error. You're being this annoying to be spiteful." Voel muttered through gritted teeth as he thought back on the utterly insane SIR that he and Therron had programmed for Zim to take with him on his "mission".

" I am not at liberty to divulge that information. " The reply was surprisingly curt. " One billion nine hundred ninety-seven million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-one bottles ..." And just like that the song continued.

"I'm hungry..." Therron's complaints were the only thing louder and more annoying than the AI's constant singing.

"We're almost out of rations, this ship was stocked for one normal Irken, not too Tallers. You'll need to just wait until we get closer to Earth. I rationed out everything perfectly at the beginning of the trip so that we could both survive without over-exerting our PAKs. It isn't time for our next meal so you will just have to wait."

"But I'm hungry now!" Therron's head hit the back of the ship with a loud thunk .

"I'm aware." Voel closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of skin between them. He was hungry too, of course, and hearing Therron constantly remind him of it only worsened his already foul mood. This was worse than any torture he had ever experienced during training. He's rather run a thousand drills with Sig than take ten more seconds in this cramped ship from the fires down below. Voel was beginning to think there was no Mothra because he refused to believe she would have allowed any Irken to suffer a fate like this.

"And those snack portions are not enough. I have to eat like four of them to stay full."

"Theoretically, you would only need like two and a half." Voel remarked, still lying on the ground, though he turned to look a little more closely at Therron.

"No, it takes like four."

"Why are you saying ' takes '? ' Takes ' makes it sound like you've been eating more than the VERY CAREFULLY allotted portions I PAINSTAKINGLY divvied up for us." Voel was beginning to sit up now, his crimson eyes narrowing accusingly at his ex-partner.

"No I've been doing the right amount:" Therron assured him: "one snack, one lunch, one dinner, and one breakfast."

"Therron you gluttonous idiot!" Voel would have thrown Therron out into space had there been room in the ship for a proper toss of an Irken Theron's size. He did manage to get to his feet and grab the pilot's chair where the AI was "sitting". (Voel would have taken the chair himself, however, the chair did not have adequate leg space for an Irken his size). "You knew our rations were getting low, didn't you!? Aren't you the whole fucking ship!?" He whirled the chair around. The hologram of the AI took a moment to notice the action and gave a bit of a delayed, but properly dramatic reaction as it pretended to get thrown back by the movement.

" Did I notice he was eating more of the food supply? Affirmative. But let us be fair here, what am I going to do to stop him ?" The AI stuck his hand through Voel's head as a demonstration of his intangible nature. He then withdrew his hand just enough so the gloved index finger was placed on the exact center of his face. " Boop ."

Voel was not sure what a ' Boop ' was but he knew he sure as hell didn't fucking like it. "Useless fucking computer." He swept his hand holding the chair forcefully to the side launching the chair into a series of rapid spins. The AI caught on tis time and simulated itself spilling (almost) in synch with the chair, it's arms up in the air playfully as it turned rapidly around.

" Weeeeeee ."

"That does look kind of fun." Therron tilted his head to the side.

"We'll need to stop, resupply somewhere." Voel hated to take any sort of detour (especially because it meant he would be stuck on this ship for EVEN LONGER). However, they were going to run out of food and, honestly, if he stayed any longer on the ship: there was going to be a homicide, and the victim, in no uncertain terms, would be Therron- and that was only because he did not know how to kill an artificial intelligence.

"Oh thank Mothra!" Therron tried to relax back, but just ended up hitting his head against the wall, forgetting how small the cabin of the cruiser really was. "I was starting to go crazy being cooped up in here!" Voel very slowly, turned his head to look at Therron.

"You're going crazy!? YOU'RE-" He cut himself off. This was only wasting time and the AI was already back to singing. "CB," the computer had made it weirdly clear that these two letters were, in fact, its name and it liked to be called by them. "Are there any inhabited planets nearby? Preferably ones that are on course."

" Affirmative. There are many planets within a reasonable distance. "

"Cross-reference all possible planets with those that have Irken inhabitants." At least while the computer was taking orders, it wasn't singing.

" We are no longer in radius of the Empire. There are no Irken inhabited planets within many light-years. "

"Any Irken allied planets?"

" Negative. These planets are primarily un-allied ."

"That's probably for the best. Who knows what the Syndicate has told our other allies about us?" It was best to stick to the planets that had no interest in the Empire. The Tallests had enemies scattered throughout the universe, now was not the time to cross them.

"It's the Syndicate, they're probably still filling out the paperwork telling the How Council we were mean to them." Therron pointed out. Voel actually snickered.

"True enough, still..." He sighed, focusing his attention back to the task at hand. "Any planets with confirmed intergalactic travel? We don't want to stop on some primitive rock that doesn't even have basic lightspeed..."

"Why not? They'd probably worship us?" Therron pointed out, finally starting to stand. "It'd be like being Tallest again!"

"They wouldn't have Irken food." Voel replied flatly.

"Oh... touché."

" Ielea-12 is nearby. It is a currently un-allied planet that has born Irken visitors before. They are big on maintaining peace at any cost. Irken-tainment Nightly calls it: One of the worst locations for romantic intent but one of the best destinations if you want to see live sacrifices. The food got three out of five supernovas ." The computer pulled up a hologram of a pale, greyish looking planet steeped in a thick, swirling atmosphere composed of a constant storm.

"Oh I love that magazine!" Therron hurried over to peer over the hologram's shoulder to read the non-existent magazine it was pretending to narrate. Voel rolled his eyes as he looked, instead at the distance Ielea-12 was from their current location- as well as how far a pitstop there would put them off their course.

"Ielea-12 should be fine." Shockingly, the computer had made a good call. It wouldn't be too much of a trip to land there, grab food, and get out. Plus, the citizens of Ielea-12 had a reputation for being standoffish and not engaging outsiders unless it was a part of their job. Peace and quiet would be more than welcome. "CB, set course."

" Say please ."

"No. Fuck you."

" Then I will not set course ."

"CB," Therron pushed Voel to the side, leaning partially over the chair. "Will you please set a detour to Ielea-12?"

" Yes, I will. For you. Voel can walk ."

"You do not get to call me Voel!" Voel's antennae stood on end as he heard the computer address him. He was absolutely seething . "It is: Tallest Red, or My Tallest, to you!"

" You're not my Tallest. " The Computer replied a tad smugly as he turned around back to the panel as Voel sank with the realization that he could do nothing to the being without a corporeal form outside of the vessel it was piloting.

"We'll need to prepare for landing on Ielea-12." Voel cleared his throat trying to recover from the utter humiliation a computer had just caused him. Fortunately, Therron was his only witness and he didn't really care what Therron thought.

"Prepare? For what? The ship lands itself." Therron gestured to CB who had begun to sing once more now that it had proved itself to Voel.

"Yes, I'm aware. However, it seems that Irkens do, occasionally visit this place for its sacrifices and average food."

"Yes... and?"

"And we don't know if they're already under the Control Brains'... well... control."

"Control-Brainwashing~" Therron added helpfully.

"We'll have to blend in. This is an Invader's ship; we can use what we have at our disposal to be as unassuming as possible. CB," he instructed. "Pull up an image of the Ielea-12 locals." He looked over but the AI was ignoring him, singing happily away in the only chair in the entire ship. Voel sighed as heavily and pointedly as he could. " Please? "

The ship lights darkened and a hologram projected from a central light in the ceiling. Both Voel and Therron recoiled a bit, and the former Tallest briefly wondered if he should reconsider their choice. While primarily bipedal in appearance, the Ieleans presented with spindly, dripping green excess appendages sprouting from their posterior at the levels of the shoulder, mid-back, and lower pelvis in pairs. With the primary humanoid form having its own separate arm and leg appendages that made for ten in total. The head was covered by a white cloth, the face completely blank as if someone had forgotten the eyes and mouth. The skin was a dingy, rusted grey. In the midsection was a, gaping maw filled with many circular rows of teeth and dripping with a tar-like black goop. Voel sighed- even with the PAK, they would still be two legs short. It was too risky.

"We can't pose as them, we'll never pass..."

"They have visitors, right?" Therron pointed out. "Let's just pretend to be something not Irken, but also not horrifying."

"Yeah, let's go with that plan." Voel waved the image away as quickly as he could. It was hard to think of anything he wanted to be that would be believable... "CB, if you will please" he said the word as if it were poison in his mouth, "activate the disguise protocol. Therron and I will pose as Tangean High-landers." He turned to Therron, "Like Captain Rose."

"It's better than having to constantly drip goo out of my squeedlyspooch." Therron replied with a shrug as CB allowed a small pod to rise out of the ship's flooring. It was not quite the right size for either of the tall Irkens.

By the time they landed on the target planet, Voel and Therron had donned Tangean disguises, complete with Syndicate uniforms that matched those of the Captain and her medic that they had met on the Massive.

"We look pretty good!" Therron was admiring his new red hair and blue skin in the reflection of the ship's walls. "I like having hair."

"Just hope no one asks us to use the ghosting ability." Voel disembarked first, grabbing an umbrella for the constant storms of Ielea-12. They had landed in a docking bay specifically for Syndicate vessels. It seemed Ielea had been on better terms with the Syndicate than Voel had thought. Though with the planet's rather... sacrifice-happy- culture, it was doubtful they would be admitted into the Syndicate any time soon. Fortunately, as an Irken military ship, the cruiser was able to disguise itself as well. Voel took a look around. "We're just here for food and then we are leaving."

"Food... sir?" There was a very quiet, breathy voice from behind him- like a whisper over his ear. He shuttered, whipping around to see one of the locals. They did not look like the image from CB's hologram... not exactly. They looked more like phantoms, the cloth draped over them seemed to fade out into nothing, their faceless heads always bowed, no mouth visible. The spectral cloth that covered them was plastered to the ashen skin by the constant rain that plagued the planet.

"Oh... yes." He cleared his throat straightening his stance. He saw Therron exit the ship then, upon seeing the Ielean, try to quickly make his way back on the ship. Voel grabbed him by the collar. "We are just looking to restock and refuel for our journey back to Capitol Planet." He had become Tallest before finishing his Invader training, but he knew a thing or two about blending in.

"Ca.. Pi... tol... pla...net?" These things spoke very... very slowly. Their voices seemed to require an ample amount of breath for each word. "There... is..." the thing paused for breath. "A... mar...ket..." Voel wished it would speak faster as time was precious. "This... way..." It moved like a shade, slithering past Voel to walk (or float) in the opposite direction, the head simply lulling with the movement as if it were barely supported by a spine.

"Thank you..." Voel hesitated, but followed. No matter how off-putting the locals were, they were obviously friendly with the Syndicate and as far as anyone knew, Voel and Therron were just two Syndicate Rangers on their way back to their home planet. He saw a few other locals helping others at the docking areas as they disembarked. He saw mostly traders, it did not seem like this was a very military stop, which was good. "So... you're a greeter?" He wasn't sure if small talk was going to kill his whispering companion, but it seemed more in character to try to chat.

"Yes..." The local stopped at the edge of the docking area. "Mar... ket..." He pointed to holographic map floating on a computerized stand beside the exit. The area he touched illuminated and the stand beneath the hologram began to whir. Two pairs of glasses were deposited at the bottom of the stand and their friendly guide swooped down, grabbing them, offering them forward. Voel took one pair, and Therron the other. Neither having an actual nose or ears, Voel had to hold the side of the glasses when he slid them on, pretending to be thinking. As soon as they covered his ocular implants, a bright line illuminated before him. Ah! It was a map.

"Thank you, thank you very much." He bowed to their guide but as he rose, the Ielean had already slithered away. Voel opened the umbrella and he and Therron ventured out into the storms. The winds were harsh, but fortunately the waters were pure enough that they did little to the sensitive Irken skin beneath the Tangean disguises.

"That guy was creepy right? Like really creepy." Therron remarked as they followed the dotted line through the flooded streets. The building around were all dark, tall, looming, rising up into the swirling sky. The only lights came from windows scattered about here and there.

"This whole place is creepy." Voel retorted as his Syndicate, standard-issue boots sloshed through the tar-like, sticky rains. "Let's get food fast and get out."

"Up ahead!" Therron pointed and the path sort of dead-ended into a building. As they approached, the solid black wall of shadows wriggled as if alive, and pulled slowly aside so they could enter a dimly lit market inhabited by creatures of various origins. Voel closed the umbrella, glad to be out of the endless rains, shaking himself of the viscous dark waters that seemed to cling to him.

"Finally! I'm starved!" Theron's expression lit up.

"Hopefully the Control Brains haven't thought to freeze our personal accounts since as far as they're concerned, we're dead." Voel kept his voice low. "But even so, let's keep it to only essentials, we don't want to draw unnecessary attention." He slowly began to walk into the twisting isles of the market, seeing Therron ready to take off, he grabbed him. "And stay close. There are Irkens here." He gestured into the crows where one or two Irkens could barely be seen in the distance.

"Maybe they could help us..."

"Or maybe they're already under the Control Brains. We can't take that risk here. Plus, the locals don't seem the type to promote fighting in their marketplace." Voel hissed. Therron made a face and Voel realized he must have gotten through to him.

"Fair enough."

They began to browse, trying to find foods edible to Irkens while avoiding their fellows. It was easy to do as many different species seemed to have flooded here and with the Tallests looking like Tangeans, it wasn't like the Irkens would be seeing them out. "Oh shit they have my chips!" Therron's expression brightened as he spotted a personal favorite snack on a distant shelf. He rushed forward, grabbing a few of the brightly colored boxes in as many flavors as he could carry. He turned on his heel, nearly tripping over someone else in the isle as he tried to make his way back to Voel. The much smaller patron can't have been much over two and a half feet tall.

"Mothra be praised, watch where you're goin' you Tangean asshats. I'm walkin' down here!" Voel and Therron both stopped in their tracks as they looked at the smaller Irken Therron had nearly squished. The Irken looked up, it was just a generic smaller with the typical sounded, red eyes and a bit of a stouter build. Voel didn't dare scan it for fear of outing himself. "The fuck is a Tangean doin' with Irken brand chips?"

"I... um..." Therron blinked and Voel's breath hitched. "We have an Irken prisoner... he asked for these and it's quicker to buy them here than get them shipped." Voel had to give his companion credit, Therron, apparently, was a master at thinking on his feet.

"Sheesh, I should get arrested by the Syndicate. Your prisons sound better than my fuckin' job." The Irken snorted. And with that, it seemed to lose interest in the conversation, grabbing a chip bag Therron had dropped when the smaller had startled him, and running to the register to go check out, and presumably get off this planet.

"That guy scared the fuck out of me." Therron quickly replaced the chip bag the smaller had snagged. "He's so tiny!"

"Shhh!" Voel didn't know how Tangeans typically talked amongst themselves, but he doubted Therron was doing it right.

"I'm just saying what we were both thinking." Therron didn't seem to understand why Voel was quieting him. "Now hold this, I'm going to get some doughnuts." He had to give the people of Ielean-12 that they had quite the selection of Irken delicacies.

Before long he and Therron had made their way to the front where one of the locals was hovering behind a register waiting to check them out. As with the one who guided them, the faceless head was lulling completely covered by the shimmering drape, and the multiple appendages or gaping mouth full of dripping tar were nowhere in sight. Voel was beginning to think that CB was just fucking with them and the locals looked nothing like the image.

They paid for the food and quickly hurried out of the store. The rain was coming down harder than before, in sheets, making it harder to see. The hair from the Tangean wig was getting in Voel's eyes, despite the umbrella he was getting wet and he was ready to leave the cold, miserable planet. The shadowy door slid closed behind them. Then, slid back open and closed again. However, Voel had not seen anyone else enter or leave.

His blood ran cold, he grabbed Therron's arm.

"Let's hurry. I think we're being followed." He went to pull and suddenly felt something cold and metal shoved into the back of his head.

Sometimes, he hated being right.

"You're not Tangean." It was a female voice, and Voel could tell from the flawless way she spoke in their native tongue that she was an Irken. He could hear the soft buzzing of a laser gun powering up right at the base of his skull.

"We are allies of Irk. This treatment is uncalled for." Therron tried to protest but he quieted as out of the corner of his eye Voel could see a laser to his skull as well.

"You. Are. Not. Tangean." With each word she emphasized the point by pushing the barrel of the gun further into their heads. "If you are, you should be able to ghost through this." Before she could finish pulling the trigger, Voel swooped down, PAK legs bursting from the disguise knocking her back causing her to miss the shot on both himself and Therron. He whirled around to face her, squinting in the pouring rain.

"Raz!?" One of the missing Elites from earlier in the quarter. Here she was, out in the middle of nowhere.

"You are marked as enemies of the Empire. I am here to destroy you." She was back on her feet in an instant. She fired at the two but the Tallests were quick to dodge.

"Enemies of the-" Voel scoffed. "We are the Empire!" It was no use hiding it. She had clearly scanned him, his PAK legs were out, and this damn wig was in his face. He ripped off the disguise, the Tallest Armor underneath glistening in the dim lights. Therron followed suit, clearly just as eager to rid himself of his disguise.

"Enemies of the Empire, you will fall." She holstered her guns in favor of a much larger weapons. Her expression was rather emotionless, it reminded Voel of the faces of the Irkens on the screen that he had watched pursuing the Syndicate. "You will fall. For the Empire. For Irk. For the glory of the Control Brains!" She knelt down as the gun charged up and fired a long, burning hot energy beam at the two disgraced leaders. Voel was able to dodge but Therron was grazed on his right shoulder. He hissed, but did not seem too badly hurt. Voel rolled out of the way, the water surprisingly cooling after being so close to the sun-like burning light of Raz's weapon.

"Ha!" Therron stood, up, wincing slightly. "You missed."

"No I didn't." The Tallests tuned to see a gaping hole in the building behind them. Ieleans were slowly starting to flicker into view like images on a broken screen. They began to shake and tremble, their bodies splitting open in the middle the gaping mouths bisecting their slender, spectral forms as the dark black liquid began pouring out. The green, spindly legs burst from their backs as lightning flashed around then, illuminating at least thirty Ieleans. "These people destroyed one of your sacred buildings. They bring battle to your peaceful streets."

"We- oh no no. She's still holding the gun!" Therron protested gesturing dramatically toward the Irken woman who was putting the weapon away.

"Doesn't... matter..."

"Bring... battle..."

"No... peace..."

"Bad..."

All around the Ieleans were speaking, those whispering voices howling in the icy winds. Voel really wished he had more than a basic Invader pistol on hand as there was no telling how many shots would take one of these monstrosities down. At least now, as the green spidery legs lifted the bipedal forms of the Ieleans off the ground, turning them into a form that matched the hologram as they used their six, needle like legs to sprint toward them- Voel realized CB had been telling the truth.

Voel's PAK legs fully extended as he and Therron took off at full speed through the flooding streets as they were chased down by Raz and a swarm of Ieleans at her back.

"Voel!" The thunder combined with the splashing of dozens upon dozens of legs pounding through the streets nearly drowned out Therron's voice. "We're not going to make it."

"We are! Shut up! I can see the docking area!" He had to stay focused.

"Voel!?" Voel could see up ahead the Ieleans that worked the docking bay taking on their more intimidating forms sprinting toward them. "VOEL!" Therron was pulled back and Voel whipped around, firing at the green appendages as they pulled Therron back into the mob. He heard shots behind him, ducking instinctively, continuously trying to claw Therron free.

More shots, louder this time, the loud splashes of bodies hitting the watery alleyways, and then something dove at high speeds into the mob. Theron was released as a bright, fiery light began to burn from within the heart of the swarm and the Ieleans began to disperse, cowering away from the pure, blazing flame. In the heart of the blaze was their hologram AI with an Irken flamethrower. Only... judging by the way the rain sizzled and steamed- it wasn't a hologram.

The Ieleans managed to get a good swipe and bisected the flamethrower. CB tossed it away, pulling a large gun from his back, firing it at the damaged weapon and causing a large explosion. Voel took the opportunity to bolt toward the ship with Therron as CB gave them cover fire. He made it inside, Therron falling to the floor looking shaken but otherwise unharmed other than a burn to the shoulder which was slowly repairing itself. CB hurried in, carrying the massive gun, and a bag of Chips Therron must have dropped in the chaos.

The ship took off and Voel caught his breath, getting to his feet and pointing very angrily at the very much solid form of the AI. "WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK is that!?" He rose up to his full height, teeth bared, antennae back as he towered over the android. CB paused, looking down, then back up at Voel with a confused expression.

" It is chips ."

"Not the chips you fucking ass!"

" Oh... it is a gun ."

"Not the- UGH!" Voel slammed a hand into the wall but CB didn't flinch. (Not that it was easy to tell if he did, with the helmet on). "The body! What the fuck is that!?"

" It... it is a body. You just said it. "

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THAT!?"

" The entire time. "

"Were you going to TELL us!?"

" Just because you feel upset, does not mean you are required to yell. " The AI replied in a little sing-song type voice. Voel sighed. He was going to need to pick his battles if he wanted to survive the rest of the trip. They had made it back to the ship, they had food, and they now had confirmation that other Irkens were hunting them. This was not the time to yell at a computer that was clearly a little bit insane, just like the Irken that made it.

"Let's just get to Earth." Voel slunk back. Grabbing a bag of chips from Therron's new stash and using them to drown out his misery with sweet flavors.

" Yes sir. " The AI's body climbed into a small compartment in the lower half of the ship as the hologram reappeared at the bridge. The ship shuddered and took flight, in the distance Voel could see the native Ieleans slowly turning back to the passive, spectral forms as the threat to their way of life vanished into the stars.

"How long till we reach Earth CB?"

" One month of native earth time. "

"Very well." Voel laid back on the floor in defeat.

" Oh no. "

"What is it?" Voel sat back up quickly in deep concern.

" I forgot where I was in the song. "

"You were finished." Voel very quickly gave his reply.

"Yep! You got all the way to the end. It was brilliant." Therron quickly reiterated the point. Voel was pleased with his quick wit.

" Oh. Then should I start over? "

"NO!" Both Irkens leapt up. The AI tilted its head quizzically at the reaction.

"I can sing another song."

"Do you know any Irken songs?" Therron clearly was getting off track. The point was to stop the singing all together- Voel thought they had an unspoken agreement about this.

" I know one. " The AI turned back to face the front. " Our Tallests are here, they're just so supreme. And we know seeing them is a smaller's dream... "

"Oh hey! I love this song!" Therron relaxed back.

"Mothra damn it." Voel closed his eyes, trying to block out the noise.

It was a very, very long month to be sure. Therron had taken to teaching the AI new Irken songs which only provided a mild improvement to the overall trip. (Mostly because Therron had absolutely awful taste in music). Voel was strongly considering overriding the AI and flying them all into the nearest sun as the AI and Therron were dramatically singing an Irken ballad to one another; when he suddenly saw a pinprick of a planet gradually getting bigger.

"CB, focus." Voel sat up, going over to the Captain's chair and trying his best to fit in it, as the AI's hologram was currently being awkwardly spun around by Therron with no regard for how small the actual ship was. (The AI kept clipping through the walls, but at least it was better than when Therron had tried to do the spin and ended up needing Voel to help him untangle from the wrappers and wires that lined the floor). "I think we're near a planet."

" Ah yes, we are near Earth. That is it right there ." CB looked over and with a final, dramatic dip, he made his way back to the pilot's seat.

"And you said we wouldn't have time to re-enact the tale of Tallest Dayleah." Therron tisked as he too made his way to the front of the ship, leaning over Voel who was cramped in the chair. "That's Earth?" They had seen it a few times from a distance, but neither Tallest thought that this would ever be a destination. "It's kind of disappointing."

" That is factually incorrect ." The AI made a motion to shoo Voel out of the pilot's chair but fuck him. Voel was not moving. " It is very disappointing ."

"Haha, yeah." Therron agreed with a snide smirk. "You know Voel, I'm beginning to like this guy. After you sing seven hundred and thirty hours of musical ballads together, you form a bond."

"Really? All I formed was seven hundred and thirty different ways to kill you." Voel retorted, still very much annoyed at having been the hostage audience to Therron's dramatic performance. He was just ready to land. "Let's get this thing landed so we can never hear another musical performance ever again."

" You are in my seat. I cannot drive. " The AI protested.

"You are the entire fucking ship. You're driving right now." Voel hunkered himself down even more in the seat.

" But I want to sit in the seat. "

"Well I don't know what to tell you, Computer: I'm pretty stuck so you will have to just deal and fly like a normal AI."

" Very well ." The AI's hologram sat on top of Voel. He didn't feel anything of course (other than the utter humiliation and indignation rising within him) given the hologram had no actual mass. " But I will tell Zim you were mean to me ."

"Good I want him to know." This was a matter of principal now. Voel was very uncomfortable in the seat but he was also too stubborn to move. The ship eventually landed in the middle of an alley way. There was the sound and shuttering sensation of the ship disguising itself and it plodded along a street at a much slower pace until it reached a very weird little house that was very much out of place surrounded by the grim, gritting buildings on either side. Voel had no time to take it in, however, and he was rapidly ejected through the roof of the ship and into the grass.

" You are no longer stuck, it seems ."

"Sweet fucking Mothra!" Voel kept low to the ground, slithering into the primitive, wheeled vehicle that the ship was pretending to be. "I wasn't wearing a disguise! I could have been seen! Are you fucking insane you little toaster oven!?"

"Perhaps I am. But I got you unstuck."

"He did get you unstuck, Voel." Theron agreed, nodding. Voel's eyes narrowed. He knew Therron. He knew that purple-eyed former Tallest had about as much 'Invader Knowledge' in him as a recently hatched smeet so he probably did not realize why Voel was so upset. It was just lucky these humans were stupid.

"Disguises, now." Voel stormed into the disguise-maker and as soon as he looked like a hideous human, he stormed right out of the ship going straight up to the door and knocking with all of his might. It took Therron a bit to catch up, however he was already standing behind Voel as the door finally opened revealing another human, this one round, fat, and ugly. It had the same hair color Voel had chosen for himself (which was just tacky- Voel clearly had dibs on red hair). It took Voel a moment to realize that it was their former top invader.

He cleared his throat, straightening his posture. "Ah, Invader Skoodge!"

"You may grovel at our feet now." Therron added with a dramatic little gesture to the ground before them. Skoodge looked at them for a moment, blinking in the dim light of the (rather too hot) Earth sun. He seemed confused.

"It's too early for this shit." Skoodge mumbled, shutting the door in their faces.

Red stood there, flabbergasted by the reaction. Had Skoodge just denied them!? There was no way he knew they had been demoted so this was an out-right offense against the Tallests. He heard Therron gasp audibly behind him.

"The nerve of that guy!" Therron marched up to the door pounding on it with fervor. "Hey asshat open up! We're you Tallests!"

"Therron shh!" Voel didn't want to alert the humans to anything that was going on. He withdrew from the door going back to the disguised ship, opening the door. "Hey, Computer, aren't you the security system? Can't you open the door?"

" My commitments to you ended when we landed ." the AI replied, sitting with one leg over the other in the Captain's chair, making a motion as if filing down his claws despite the facts that: 1. It did not have claws. 2. It was wearing gloves. And 3. It was a fucking hologram.

"Just open the door CB." Voel ordered. CB gave him a long, hard look, before shimmering out of sight. Voel smacked himself in the face with his hand, slowly, dragging it down out of utter frustration. He opened the tiny compartment at the bottom of the ship and pulled CB's robotic body out. Of course, it was entirely unresponsive. He gave an exasperated grunt and dragged it back out with him. "You want this back don't you!?"

"Open up!" Therron was still pounding on the door, whining to try to get Skoodge back. "You can't leave us out here it's hot and gross!"

The door opened.

" Hiya. " In the doorway was the blue-eyed SIR that Voel and Therron had pieced together from scraps all that time ago.

"Thank Mothra." Therron let out a relieved sigh.

" Bye. " The SIR closed the door in their faces again. Therron immediately went to banging on the entrance once again.

"No no come back!"

" Hi ." The door again opened and Therron made a move to jump in. " Bye ." But hit the door directly, with his face as it closed again. This went on several times until Voel was getting second hand embarrassment from watching Therron fail.

"We've got your stupid robot!" Voel tried again to see if he could find a way to get the door to open. "You have to let us in if you want it back."

" I am not stupid. " The head of the body he was holding snapped to look at him and Voel dropped it in surprise.

Eventually, the door opened back up and Skoodge was there, now holding a mug with a bitter smelling substance steaming out of it. "Why the fuck are you two here?" Voel did not have the best memories of what Skoodge was like as an Irken- as he was sort of a non-descript blur that inhabited the background of some of his memories. However, he did not recall him being this curt.

"You dare thalk that way," Therron pulled himself up to full height, "to your Tallests !?"

"Hmm..." Skoodge didn't flinch, didn't even blink as he raised the cup to his mouth, taking a sip of whatever was inside. "If you're here, you're not Tallest anymore."

"..." Voel knew he had no leg to stand on in this fight so he simply sauntered over, holding CB by the collar. "Are you going to let us in or not?"

"Nope." Skoodge didn't budge. "You've got a meeting to attend." He turned to look behind him. "Tenn! Zim! We're leaving for the Syndicate conference!"

"Finally! I have packed SO MANY snacks!" Voel perked u hearing Zim's voice from just inside the doorway. It was only a moment before Zim, in a surprisingly good disguise, wriggled his way under Skoodge's arm to get out on the porch. He must have been deep in thought about the snacks because it wasn't till he was outside that he noticed Voel and Therron. He looked to them, then back to Skoodge, then back to his former leaders. "What are you doing here?"

Even Zim seemed pissed to see them.

"There is trouble back on Irk." Voel tried to keep his voice down but the body of CB sprang to life once more and wriggled free, crouching and hiding behind the short form of Zim.

" Father he was mean to me. "

"What the fuck is a father?" Voel asked at the same time Skoodge snorted and replied with: "Unsurprising."

"You cannot be mean to CB! Only I CAN BE MEAN TO CB!" Zim pointed an accusatory finger toward Voel, putting an arm around the taller robot. "He's sensitive."

"Who's sensitiv-" Tenn had made it to the doorway too at this point and seeing Voel and Therron made her eyes widen. She went to kneel but Skoodge put his other arm out to stop her."

"Don't bother with formalities. If they were still our 'great leaders' they wouldn't be here. Everyone just get in the car." Skoodge seemed to have more control over this tiny group of former Invaders than Voel would have liked as both Tenn, and Zim (still 'comforting' CB) walked past their leaders into a drab, grey vehicle. "Are you guys coming?"

"How dare you just ignore us!? Now bowing!? No groveling!? No offering us cool refreshments!? You are bad Irkens!" Therron was in quite a state storming after Skoodge who had locked the door and was heading for the car.

"We don't have time to make you two feel good about yourselves. The Syndicate is having their War Council as we speak and you two are going to speak." Skoodge hopped in the driver's seat. "Are you coming?"

"What if we don't come!?" Therron responded angrily. Voel was going to object since they really needed to defend their planet- however Skoodge had a reply ready.

"Then you can stay and watch GIR." He pointed to the SIR who was waving in the window. Then, without breaking eye contact with the disguised Irkens outside. The SIR grabbed some sort of bottle of viscous, brown sauce, and began pouring it slowly over itself. Therron winced, shuddered, and quickly clambered in the car with Voel behind him.

"I don't know what we're going to tell them..." Voel sighed as the car began moving, his head was in his hands, his mind was racing. "It sounds unbelievable to us, and we lived it."

"Yeah!" Therron agreed. "We can't just mosey up to the High Council and be like: Well let us tell you we had a doozy of a day. The Control Brains are taking control of Irkens without our consent and making them do bad things!"

"The Control Brains..." Zim's eyes widened. "But they are obedient to the Tallests!"

"That's what we thought too." Voel sighed, rubbing his temples. "Turns out they aren't as 'obedient' as we thought. They tried to kill me."

"And they would have succeeded if it wasn't for me!" Therron emphasized.

"Huh..." Skoodge seemed to be taking all of this in stride. "Who knew Therron could be useful."

"I am also surprised." Zim seconded.

"HEY!" Therron leaned forward but Voel stopped him.

"That explains a lot actually. The Control Brains have their own agenda..." Skoodge was deep in thought. He snapped himself out of it, turning to look back at the former leaders. "You two best be working up an apology to the Syndicate."

"The apology should really come from the Control Brains." Therron replied, crossing his arms, leaning back in the seat.

"But you authorized that protocol." Voel pointed out.

"Oh." Therron blinked. "Right."

"What protocol?" Tenn leaned forward in her seat.

"It's a long story..." Voel let out a heavy sigh. He thought getting to Earth would give him some sort of plan- but his head was spinning now more than ever. It seemed like there was no easy way out of this mess that the Empire was falling into.

"Well you better think of a good way to summarize it. We're here." They had pulled up to some sort of series of buildings. They seemed mostly to be human in origin, but Voel's PAK detected a large Syndicate base underneath. The group made their way through the throngs of young humans into a back closet where they found the entrance. (Disguises were shed, as was customary for Syndicate meetings). There was an elevator ride, a long walk, and far too soon Voel and Theron found themselves standing before Captain Rose, a Romulan First Officer, and a Kryptonian (who for some reason was wearing the uniform of a medic?), and a few rows of other Syndicate officials. Around them, was a hologram, perfectly portraying the Syndicate High Council. As they walked in, Captain Rose who was at the podium, had frozen mid-sentence.

" What," She narrowed her large, pupiless blue eyes at the group, "is the meaning of this!?"

"Woah woah woah," Therron quickly took center stage. We know it looks bad, but..." He looked to Voel and then the others, completely at a loss. "You see Syndicate... we've had an absolute doozy of a day..."