Meredith looked up to the monitor.
'I see sinus rhythm, get her to the OR now,' Derek let out a breath that he had been holding, unknowingly. Running with gurney he started to panic. Addison was prepped for surgery. Meredith refused to leave her side and got scrubbed in with Derek. His hands were steady as rocks as he opened Addison up. Looking down to her head he could finally see the extent of the cerebral tumour. It was spread further across the cerebellum. That wasn't his main concern. The pressure in her brain was dangerously fatally high. Derek repaired a small leak and left Addison's skull flap off. Meredith watched as Derek performed the surgery, making sure that he was fit to keep going. After the surgery Addison was taken up to ICU. Meredith and Derek were scrubbing down when Derek's hands fell into the sink as his emotions overtook him. Meredith watched as he broke down.
'She can't have more than a few weeks to live. I…I can't believe it.'
'Derek, you just saved her life.'
'But she's still going to die,'
'But you just helped her live longer,'
'What a few weeks?'
'Derek, are you hearing yourself?' You wish you had just let her die? She may only have a few weeks but we can both help make them the best weeks she could ever have. We'll stay with her till the end,' Meredith was surprising herself in what she was saying. The other day she was telling Derek just to let her be. Now she was telling him to stay by her side.
'Meredith, she's going to be in so much pain and suffering. She may not even make it through the next forty eight hours. She's on her own; she'll be living in a hospital,'
'No, she won't'
'Yes she will. She has no where to live but a hotel and I sold the trailer so she can't even stay there,' Derek dried his arms and ran his hands over his stubble and in his hair.
'She can stay with us,' Derek turned to face Meredith. She was deadly serious.
'Meredith, you don't need to do this,'
'I know I don't but I want to. You loved her once and still do. I can see in your eyes that this is killing you inside. Your eyes have lost their sparkle. The past few days have been rough on you. Paul…Kevin, it has all taken it's toll. Addison needs people around her. We can all work out or schedules so somebody is always with her. There's enough room at my house for her to move in,' Derek began to think it over.
'You do know that Izzie would have a ball to herself, she loves to look after people and Addison would never be alone,'
'Meredith, I don't know what to say,'
'Nothing except that you tell her when she comes round,' Derek smiled. This was one of the reasons that he loved her. She was putting all her personal feelings aside. Derek knew that Addison moving in was the best thing for her but he also wasn't sure how Meredith would cope with seeing Addison in her home, in amongst her personal things, her safe haven from the world. Derek pulled Meredith over in front of his chest and pulled her in close. He kissed her, feeling her tiny ineffectual fists on his face. She pulled away and smiled.
'I love you so much,'
'Not as much as I love you mere,' the scrub room door flew open and Bailey walked in.
'What the hell happened with Mark Slone?'
'Oh, how is the bastard?' Derek looked at Meredith and laughed. She was a hard nut when it came to something like Mark.
'He's got a fractured cheek bone. What the hell did you hit him with? A vase?'
Meredith looked at Derek's hand.
'No, my fist,' Baileys eyes shot open.
'You can throw a punch. How's Addison?' Derek took his scrub cap off and left the scrub room. Bailey watched as Derek left.
'Miranda, she's got a cerebral tumour, glioblastoma multiforme. It's un- operable. It's killing Derek. She was bleeding into her brain and her ICP went sky high. Derek's left her skull cap off. She got a few weeks left.' Miranda put her hands over her face.
'I'll be god damned. When did she find out?'
'Two weeks ago. She was worried Derek would leave, she only told him about six hours ago.'
'What's happening once she gets discharged? She going into a home?'
'No, she's moving in with me and Derek at the house. She's eventually going to need twenty four hour care.'
'You think you can handle it?'
'I need to…for Derek's sake.'
'Meredith, you're one hell of a person.' Miranda left Meredith in the scrub room to finish changing. Derek was sitting with Addison, watching her breathing.
'Addie, I don't know if you can hear me or not. I'd like to think you can. I seen the tumour. It's advanced a lot since your last scan. I was talking to Meredith. She wants you to move in, with us. It might be a bit awkward but you would do the same. You know that you can't be on your own anymore. You need support Addie, no more being on your own. We're here for you, both of us and we're not going anywhere. I still have a soft spot for you in my heart Addie. I love Meredith with all my heart but you'll always have a space,' Meredith stood at the door and listened to everything Derek had said. It made her smile.
'I think she heard every word,' Derek turned and looked at Meredith.
'How long do you think she'll be out of it?'
'It should be about an hour, but I don't know because of the tumour,'
'She will pull through this Derek; you have got to believe it,'
'I don't want her to suffer…she's going to. I don't think I can watch her suffer,'
'Derek you need to be strong for her. She won't suffer if we support her and help her. We can give her morphine, pethidine or even Methadone. She won't be in pain,'
'Meredith, Addison hates asking for help. She's very independent. She wont say she's in pain until it's unbearable,'
'Well, she just has to get over that because she's going to be getting a lot of help from everybody around her. If she's in pain we can give her a PCP pump. Derek, she won't suffer,' Meredith sat next to Derek and took hold of his hand.
'You should go home and tell Izzie and George what's happening,'
'Derek, I'm staying right here,'
'Thank you, for everything,'
'Derek, you mean the world to me and I would do anything for you,' Derek pulled her in towards his chest and let out a deep sigh.
'She'll be ok,'
'I hope your right,'
