Chapter 7: Unrealized Realities


Dean approached the large tent on the south side of their small camp, his blanket roll under one arm while he held the cloak closed with his free hand. The carts were lined up on the north side of camp, blocking the ferocious wind, and the horse tent was next to them. Khan had seemed happy enough under the tent with the other horses, all of them tied to a long post to keep them from biting or easily kicking each other. Dean and Anna had worked together to cover all of the horses and give them water, melted from the snow. Kevin had snuggled in a deep pocket on the top of Khan's blanket, Cri-Kee curled up with him as they prepared for the long night.

The tent flap was pushed aside and Dean found himself facing the captain, Castiel's raven hair catching snowflakes being blown around in the wind. "Good, you're here. Come in, Steve."

Dean nodded and followed the big alpha into his tent, watching Castiel tie the flap shut. It made a decent seal and would keep out most of the wind, the tent clearly made by fine artisans in the Imperial City. The shelter had a center partition which Castiel pushed through, Dean following silently in his wake.

The second, smaller room was filled with Imperials, all of them clustered together on a pile of blankets surrounded by pillows. Dean offered a tentative smile to the group, recognizing Anna and Balthazar sitting beside Claire, as well as their beta half-siblings Benjamin and Hannah. Their other half-sibling in the platoon, and Hannah's full sister, was Muriel, but as she was mated she would be curled up with Ishim in another tent. Dean took a seat beside Balthazar, looking around the circle nervously as Castiel took the empty space on his other side.

"Never slept together with your family for warmth, Steve?"

"Uh, no, Captain. I'm from a warmer climate. Also, I'm not really sure . . . why you invited me. I'm not an Imperial."

"No, but you are the most noble non-Imperial in the camp," Claire answered. "Technically, as the full son of the most decorated General to ever lead the Chinese Army, you outrank all of us born of concubines."

"Besides, Cas was worried you might freeze to death if left to your own devices," Hannah added, reaching over to clasp Dean's hand kindly.

The omega visibly relaxed at the reassurance, grinning at people he was starting to think of as his friends. In the village, he wasn't really allowed to have alpha or dominant beta friends, to avoid any accusations of impropriety by his future mate. Jo had been the exception, but even she had not spent much time alone with him after their courtship fell apart. "So, how does this cuddle pile thing work?"

Castiel grinned at the description before pointing toward the thick layer of blankets in the center of the circle, pillows arranged around the edges. "Well, generally we put the betas and any of our omega siblings in the center. Alphas go around the outside since we tend to produce a great deal more body heat, but there are exceptions. My brother Gabe, despite being an omega, is hotter than any alpha so we always put him on the outside, and Claire tells me that you've been pretty cold since we got into the mountains so I'm guessing you create far less body heat than would be expected for your subgender."

"Uh, yeah, I guess that's true."

"No shame in that," Hannah assured the soldier. "Cas is serious about Gabe. You'll be in the middle of the circle with the betas and Claire. Come on, lay down here. Benj, Steve here is gonna be your cuddle buddy for the night."

Benjamin, who was a slender, dark-skinned man and the youngest full brother of Uriel and Raphael, stretched out in the middle of the circle, grinning as he waved his arms at Dean, beckoning him closer. He was shorter than most of his siblings, so when Dean stretched out beside him Benjamin took the smaller spoon position automatically, head tucked neatly under Dean's chin. He was clearly used to a large cuddle buddy, and his scent was pleasant enough that Dean started to relax almost immediately. Hannah stretched out beside Benjamin, facing him with Claire at her back, the young alpha grinning as Anna and Balthazar filled out that side of the circle. She liked sleeping next to Anna; the redhead wouldn't move all night, so she never woke her niece.

Balthazar curled up against Anna's back, grumbling about her loose hair as he tucked an extra pillow under his head. Castiel carefully stretched oversized blankets around all of his guests, making sure that they were tucked close enough to each other to share their body heat. Once he was sure that everything was in order, Castiel reached up and extinguished the lantern hanging from the overhead post before curling up tightly against Dean's back, one arm thrown over the omega's stomach and the other tucked under his own pillow. They were the same height, so his bent legs and knees fit perfectly against the back of Dean's, offering plenty of heat to help the omega ward off the night chill.

Dean prayed to all of his Ancestors that Castiel wouldn't catch a thread of his true scent through the long, cold mountain night.


Dean woke slowly, warmth blanketing him from all sides, soft breathing on the back of his neck and top of his head. There were arms bracketing him from the front and smaller ones locked around his waist from the back, one heavy leg between his and one more on top of him. He vaguely remembered that it was cold outside, but here it was warm and comfortable. Dean whispered something to his sluggish mind, asking it to move his body toward wakefulness, but his omega reared its head and insisted that he needed to stay in this nest, where it was safe.

Dean's forehead was pressed against a strong chest, one that was moving in the slow, deep breathing pattern that marked slumber. He could smell honey and hickory, an odd combination that a small part of his mind recognized as belonging to his Captain, though there was a different smoky wood scent mixed with dandelions coming from the alpha tucked so tightly against his back. Claire, his mind whispered, the omega part of him growing stronger at the thought of Castiel and his daughter cuddling with him in a warm, fluffy nest. This was all he had wanted when he dad asked for his preference in a mate, though he still had no good way to verbalize the feeling. All he knew was that he didn't want this to end.

Unfortunately, the war and dawn waited for no omega. Dean could see light behind his eyelids, enough to wake his body despite his mind's insistence that cuddling was a perfectly acceptable way to spend the day. As Castiel began to stir, loosening the strong arms wrapped tightly around Dean's upper body, the omega started to react to the close proximity of the virile alpha and the thought of losing him. Dean jerked awake as his erection pressed into Castiel's leg still caught between his thighs, stumbling out of the sleeping pit as he prayed that the herbs he took were strong enough to cover the unmistakable scent of omega arousal.

Claire sat up in the bed as the body she had been cuddling vanished, looking down at her father for some sort of explanation. Dean paused his flight long enough to shove his feet into his shoes and grab his cloak, dashing out of the tent and in the general direction of the horses. Balthazar, who had opened one eye just in time to see their guest vanish into the morning, groaned and pushed his sister off of his chest. "I'll check on him, Claire," he murmured, grabbing his own shoes as he headed out into the snow.


Dean burst into the horse tent, frantic and shivering as he searched his belongings for a heavier coat that would hopefully be long enough to hide the erection that even a dash through the snow hadn't calmed. His omega was screaming inside him that there was an alpha suitable for mating back in the Captain's tent, and all it wanted was that knot. Kevin, slowly reacting to the noise, opened one eye to watch his ward rubbing the scent blocking oil under his armpits and inside his pants, both of them glancing at the tent door for potential interruptions as the omega fixed his clothes and put his supplies away. Dean reached for his packet of tea, dropping it back into his bag as the tent flap was pulled to the side and Balthazar entered the temporary stable.

"Steve, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Dean managed, wrapping his cloak around himself like a shield. He didn't know if his eyes were flecked with gold, so he didn't risk meeting the alpha's gaze. He knew that it had been a mistake to accept the invitation to share Castiel's bed, and now his inability to keep his dick quiet was going to get him kicked out of the army.

Balthazar, sensing the younger soldier's discomfort, leaned against one of the support posts and offered an open, non-threatening posture. He hadn't taken much time to dress, either, but his pants and cloak were heavier than the ones Dean was using. "You ran out of there pretty quickly this morning. Claire's pretty worried."

"It's nothing, okay? Just . . . tell her not to worry."

"You know, my first time sleeping in a . . . cuddle pile, as some of my family members like to call it, was pretty embarrassing for me." Dean looked up slightly, still not meeting Balthazar's eyes but listening. "It was all my friends and siblings, of course, but I'd never curled up with omegas before, and I was still really young. Just out of my first rut, with all of these scents I could finally smell, I had a pretty erotic dream." Dean did look up at that, his eyes a clear, if pale, green as curiosity threaded its way into his scent. "I woke with my morning wood pressed against the ass of Michael's future mate, and he was not happy. He wanted to tear me to pieces, brother or not, but Cas protected me. He understands that our bodies can react in ways that we would not allow if we were awake, and sleeping with so many others for the first time is a strange enough situation that our minds need to find a way to work through it."

"Yeah?"

"Cas isn't going to care that you woke with an erection, any more than you should care that you woke curled up in an alpha's arms. It isn't something you would have done if you were awake, but it was cold last night and Cas is a great heater."

"He really did keep me warm," Dean agreed, biting his lip. "He won't care?"

Balthazar snorted. "You're an alpha, albeit a young one. He knows that you don't mean it. Just go behind a tree somewhere out back and give your knot a couple of good squeezes to relieve the pressure. We'll see you at breakfast."

Dean waited until Balthazar was gone before grabbing his tea again, pouring some water into his cup and holding it near Kevin. The dragon patted Khan's back to warn him before lighting up, using his flame to heat Dean's water so he could brew his tea. He dropped his tea bag into the water and stared at it, biting his bottom lip. "What does he mean, 'give your knot a couple of good squeezes', Kevin?"

"Uh, it's an alpha thing. He means go masturbate and get rid of that erection before you go up for breakfast."

Dean blushed and blew gently on his tea to cool it. "I've never . . . done that before. Garth said that it was inappropriate for an omega to pleasure himself before his mate had a chance to."

Kevin tilted his head as Cri-Kee chirped curiously. "Uh, never? What have you been doing for your heats?"

"I just . . . get through them, I guess. Lots of sweets and my mom's calming tea." He sipped his scent blockers and sighed, struggling to keep control of his emotions. Thinking about his mother and how long it had been since he saw his family certainly killed his boner. "I miss her."

"I know. Soon this whole war business will be over and you can go back to your family."

Dean smiled and finished his tea, rinsing out the cup and pulling out his eye drops; he would make sure to use them twice a day until the marching was done. He thought back to Balthazar and how kind the alpha had been since the fight, especially their conversation about Donna, the Imperial Matchmaker. "Balthazar offered to put in a good word with the Imperial Matchmaker for my omega brother. For me. When Dad said something about that, I can't say that I really believed him, but this was a lot more tangible. It makes me wonder . . . what if I had been taken to the Imperial City and Donna let me stand before the Imperial family? What if . . . what if that was the way I met Castiel and he liked me? What if we had been compatible and he asked to court me? I could see myself mating someone like him; I could even learn to be quiet, and sweet, and demure . . . a proper omega. For Castiel."

Kevin's ears drooped as he watched Dean finish getting ready for the day, packing his supplies away to gather when he returned to harness the horses for the march. As soon as the omega was gone, headed to breakfast, Kevin reached down and placed a paw on Cri-Kee's head. "When we headed out here, all I wanted to do was help Dean perfect his alpha cover and earn some honor in this war. I didn't want him to get hurt, of course, and it seems like I failed at that." Cri-Kee's antennae fell as he chirped a sad question, waiting for a response. "I'm worried that I may have ruined his chance to have a normal life after this is over. He can't stand before the Imperial Matchmaker now; they would all recognize him."

Cri-Kee reached up and tugged on one of Kevin's whiskers, tapping Khan's back to get his attention. He chirped his theory quickly, the black horse looking over his shoulder and huffing his agreement. Kevin frowned, considering the cricket's words. "You think that would work? I mean, Dean does look drastically different as Steve, and if he stands quietly and doesn't use that deep voice that he's cultivated to maintain his alpha persona, maybe the Imperials wouldn't be able to identify him. It's not unusual for siblings to look similar." Khan nodded, stomping his feet in agreement. "Okay, well as soon as this war is over, we're going to get Dean home and help him find a mate. I don't care what the Great Ancestor says; I'm not going back to sleep until that boy is happy."


Castiel smiled as Steve joined the army for breakfast, the boy hesitating at the edge of the group and refusing to meet anyone's eyes. The Captain waited until he caught Steve's gaze, the young alpha freezing as Castiel raised an eyebrow and pointed at the log he was sitting on. Chastised, Steve skulked his way through camp and took a seat beside his captain, hands tucked in his lap. Castiel chuckled and passed over the bowl he had prepared for the boy, raising one eyebrow in a silent order to start eating.

As soon as Steve's mouth was full, Castiel spoke. "You don't have anything to be ashamed of, kid. You're not the first alpha to wake me up that way."

Steve blushed and his eyes paled, almost yellow instead of their usual faded green. "I, uh . . . it's never happened to me before."

"I'd guess that sleeping piles aren't that common in the lower altitudes. What kind of winter can you really have in that village, anyway?"

"Not the pile, the uh . . . the thing I did that woke you up."

Castiel tilted his head curiously, chopsticks paused halfway to his mouth. He had never met an alpha who wasn't comfortable and generally eager to talk about his own knot, but this kid was evasive, clearly not even willing to say the words. "You've never woken up with an erection?"

Steve shrugged. "Not really, no. And I've never really felt like that before. You know, where I wanted to . . . well, do what I want to do during my, uh, rut."

Castiel tilted his head and stared at the boy, his scent swirling with shock. "You don't get boners when you scent a cute omega? Or beta? Even I get them, at my age, though it rarely shows in my scent."

"I don't even get much during my rut. I was told it would change when I mate, that I would have desire for that person. I always hoped that everyone was right." Steve looked up from his food, biting his bottom lip. He looked so much younger than his frame indicated, and Castiel felt an overwhelming desire to soothe the kid. He caught that reaction and buried it, knowing that the last thing a young alpha wanted was to be coddled like an omega.

"Why do you think you reacted to me last night?"

"Balthazar said it was because you were warm and it relaxed me. I think that all of this change recently has confused my hormones and I just reacted, not realizing that you're an alpha, too."

"That's reasonable. My baby brother, Prince Samandriel, he is kinda like you. I've never seen it in an alpha before, but I guess it's not unusual to not react in an overtly sexual manner to the scents around you. You're welcome to sleep with us again tonight if it's still cold, even if you wake up with a boner."

"Thanks, Captain. I don't intend to again."

"Damn, Steve, I've had your dick on my thigh; you might as well call me Castiel or just Cas like all of my brothers do."

The young alpha chuckled, still blushing but clearly more relaxed. "Thanks . . . Cas."


Marching was easier that day, especially since Dean wasn't wary of his fellow soldiers anymore. He left Khan to walk with the rest of the caravan horses, Kevin and Cri-Kee keeping the horse company from inside the cart, while the omega walked with Benny and Balthazar. They talked about their dream mates again, though Dean didn't share his new realization about his dream, that he would totally go full omega for a sexy, older, dominant alpha like Castiel. It would be best if he kept that specific fantasy to himself. He did, of course, take the opportunity to curl up with Cas again under the cover of the Imperial sleeping pile, making a point of visibly shivering until he was safely wrapped in the Captain's warm arms.

They marched past rice paddies on the third day, Dean blushing as a number of the omegas in the fields called out to him. He had never been seen as desirable before, to anyone, and the farmers were more impressed by his uniform than his face. Benny, Balthazar, Charlie, and even Anna were perfectly happy to show off when the farmers looked their way, but the army didn't stop long enough for any introductions. In order to join the main army at the Tung Shao Pass as quickly as possible, they would only be in the valley for two days before beginning the long climb into the mountains that protected the Imperial City. Grateful for a warm night, the huge training class camped beside a small river, the lights of a small farming village visible behind them and the dark shadows of snow-covered mountains waiting in front of them.

Dean settled the horses and put out their food, grateful that it wasn't cold enough to freeze their water, giving himself another dose of his scent blockers and boiling a quick cup of tea. Kevin, who had tired of army rations, nibbled on a small fish he'd grabbed out of the river and used his fire breath to blacken, eyes watching Dean as the omega finished his tea. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good, Kev. This march is nice, no matter what we find at the other end, and I think I'm bonding with the others. Benny, Balthazar, Charlie, and Anna specifically have been very kind to me. I'm going to miss them when this is over."

"You've spent your whole life as a cloistered omega; you've never been allowed to make any friends other than omegas who were expected to be good examples for you. This is the first time in your life you've been allowed to pick your own companions."

"Yeah, it's nice." Dean looked up as he heard a noise outside the horse tent, Kevin and Cri-Kee quickly vanishing as Castiel strode into the makeshift stables.

"Capt—, uh, Cas?"

"There you are. What's that smell?" Cas glanced down at the empty tea cup in Dean's hand, wrinkling his nose in disapproval.

Dean chuckled, turning to rinse out his cup before drying it and storing it in his bag. "It doesn't taste great, I'll grant you that, but my dad swears by it for long campaigns. He says it helps with sore muscles and feet. I don't know if it works, but I'm not willing to stop."

Cas shrugged, clearly dismissing the conversation. "Come on, Claire took some of the girls to the river to catch some fish for supper. You must be as tired of rations as the rest of us, so I wanted to make sure you got some."

"Yeah, thanks Cas. I wondered why Anna bolted so quickly after getting the stable tent up."

"She has a better nose than you, and I shouldn't be able to say that about a beta. You'll lose your alpha status if you miss dinner because you didn't smell it." The edge of Cas's mouth twitched up in a grin, the hint of a laugh in his eyes.

Dean nodded at the teasing, following his Captain out of the tent. "You know, I always thought I had a pretty good sense of smell; I guess I got distracted brushing down my dad's horse."

Cas nodded as they reached the food tent, the soldiers moving to the side to allow the two men access to the blackened fish and bowls of rice. "That's Khan, right? He's too young to be the stallion that your dad rode to fight the Huns, but perhaps he was around for that border skirmish a decade ago?"

"That's right. He's a son of the horse Dad rode against the Huns. Khan's sire was a gift from the Emperor, if Dad's stories can be believed."

"They can. I remember that Zach took his own favorite mare to your town fourteen or fifteen years ago to breed with John's horse, producing a big, pure black colt. Some of the Council members were jealous; Zach doesn't share his breeding stock with many people, and they are all fine beasts. Does Khan have any offspring?"

"Yeah, a few village horses, but no war horses. Dad said he's too old to be training war horses anymore, and Khan mostly pulls a plow these days. I think he is enjoying his retirement. This march is honestly the most action he's had in a long time."

Cas took a seat nearby, Dean settling on the log next to him. They tore into their meals but the conversation didn't stop. "What about you, Steve? Don't you want to have your own war horse? Khan's getting into his late teens; it would be better if you had a young stallion or mare of your own. Have you thought about that?"

Dean shrugged. "Dad has, but I never worried about it. I didn't think there was much chance we would go to war in my lifetime, and joining the army wasn't high on my list of things to do before I die."

"It's all I ever wanted," Cas murmured, staring into his rice. "My older siblings, full and half, were eager to join up, earn some honor of their own, and prove that they would be fit to rule China one day. Michael will be Emperor, but Lucifer will lead his council and one day I will be General of the Chinese Army, like Zachariah is now. This has all been planned since we were kids. By the time this war is over, I'll be a Major, or even a Lieutenant Colonel, enough rank that Dad and my brothers will urge me to stand in front of the Matchmaker again. Zar and Anna will make First Lieutenant, as will most of this squadron, though I doubt either of them will stay much longer. This war will accelerate my future, but it won't change it."

"It's changed mine. I wasn't going to be a warrior, and I had no plans to leave my town. I was having issues with matches, but I know that eventually my dad or the Matchmaker would have found me something suitable. I was going to happily settle down with my assigned mate, we would have a few pups, and I would grow old tending our farm and raising them."

"A peaceful life."

Dean nodded, scraping the bottom of his empty bowl as he looked over at the food table and tried to decide if there was enough fish left for him to have a second helping. "I can't say that I regret this path, Cas. Is it possible that my Ancestors knew that I wouldn't have been happy with a peaceful life? It was rough at the beginning, but my time in the army has shown me that I can be accepted without having to change who I am. I don't have to follow rules or keep my head down around Elders who don't understand me, and I can have friends who aren't handpicked by my parents. Hell, I don't think my mom would find Balthazar suitable at all."

Cas snorted at that, smiling at his young friend. He was warming to the pup a lot faster than he thought he would, especially after Steve's dismal start in the army. "Our own mother doesn't approve of him most of the time. He's going to be a hard one to find a mate for, or so Donna tells me. Friends he has in abundance, and this army training will do him good. I know you were conscripted, but you can always ask for a commission when your service is over. You could stay here, in this life, even if you were assigned a suitable mate. You'd be stationed with our platoon, so you could go home frequently and the army allows time off for heats, births, and harvest season. It's not a bad gig, if you wanted it to be permanent."

Dean looked up at Cas, so completely in character that he forgot he was an omega and he would need the time off for heats. He forgot that he couldn't stay here, in the army, forever. He forgot that his new friends wouldn't be forgiving of his dark secret, and he would never be able to keep up his ruse for more than just this tour. He forgot all of this, so he smiled and nodded. "I think I might like that, Cas. Thank you."

"Of course, Steve." Cas grinned and patted Dean's back, standing and heading back to the food table for a second helping of fish.

Dean watched his captain walk away, rubbing his chest in wonder at the warm, fuzzy feeling that the conversation had left inside him. He never wanted to lose that feeling, but the tiny dragon claws in his arm chased it away, leaving him with the cold reality that he could never have that future. "You know what you did," Kevin whispered, ears pinned back against his head. "This is not a long term operation, Dean. When this war is over, you're out."

"I'm sorry," Dean whispered, watching Kevin duck behind his arm as two other soldiers walked by. Cas had gotten distracted by Bartholomew at the food table, watching as the other alpha pulled a couple of fish off of the fire for the milling soldiers looking for seconds. "I got caught up in my role a bit there. If I was an alpha, I think I would really like to stay in the army."

"You were born an omega, Dean, and there's nothing you can do about that. Maybe you should spend less time dreaming about a future you can't have."

"Yeah," Dean whispered, eyes locked on Cas and those ridiculous runners' thighs that he had felt tucked between his for the past two nights. "Let me have my dreams, Kevin; when this is all over I want to have something to remember him by."

Kevin sighed and rested his forehead against the back of Dean's arm, his claws still sunk into the omega's sleeves. "I'm supposed to protect you."

"You can't protect me from this," Dean whispered, pushing himself to his feet as Kevin, with Cri-Kee holding onto the dragon, returned to his hiding place under the edge of the omega's shirt. Dean forced himself to smile as he got a second helping of fish, but he ate quickly and excused himself to look after the horses. The warmth was gone, replaced by a chilly ache, but he was determined to enjoy his time in the army. He dove into his work, refusing to think about the future where he lost all of his new friends, where he lost Cas, and where he eventually learned to be a silent, obedient omega in a small farming town on the other side of the mountains from the Imperial City. He knew it was folly to pretend that the future didn't exist, but when Cas found him feeding the last horse and asked him to join the Imperial sleeping pile again, Dean said yes.