Voel had chosen to sleep. It was unnecessary, truly, but after his day with CB he just needed to recharge. Zim's little resting area was just large enough for him to lie comfortably on his side. His PAK was hooked up to charge- as much as he didn't like the idea of having himself hooked up to CB's main hub... after what he saw that afternoon, he was willing to trust the defunct Control Brain not to go through his memories.
And Voel was just... tired.
BZZZZZ
BZZZZZZZZZZZ
His antennae twitched as something buzzing disturbed him from his slumber.
BZZZZZZZZZZ
The communication device the Syndicate had given him was vibrating angrily on the bedside table. Voel went to grab it and instantly rolled too far. He flailed, falling gracelessly off of the cushion on which he had been sleeping.
BZZZZZZ
His head popped up from the floor as he fumbled with the device for a moment struggling to turn it on. It was a primitive Earth device- all about proper thumb usage and it was not geared toward someone with such long, dexterous fingers such as himself- so clearly it was just poorly designed in general and he was getting frustrated.
"ZIM!" The damned thing had stopped its buzzing and was now chipperly displaying a 'One missed call' message that was every bit as annoying as the buzzing had been. Voel scrambled to the lift as the thing began to buzz again. "CB! Take me to Zim."
"All right." Shockingly the elevator obediently began to lower toward the lab. "But it would not kill you to say please." Voel smirked, he was oddly pleased to hear that slight bit of sass from the AI. He didn't know why, exactly, but it made him feel better- feeling as if nothing had changed between the two of them.
"Yeah yeah, I just need him to work this stupid thing." Voel showed CB the phone. "How does Zim use it?"
"Well, the claws get in the way for him too; at first I just pressed the buttons he wants and let him think he was helping. Now he had gotten the hang of it, you have to be at a certain angle, but I can't imagine it is easy for you with your hands being so..."
"Beautiful?"
"I was going to say: uncomfortably long. I thought you Tallests had your claws and thumbs removed as part of the initiation..."
"Typically, yes. But Therron weaseled our way out of it." Voel waved the question away. The elevator reached the lab and he saw Zim working on CB of all things. (At least Voel assumed the large mass of wires in the center was CB. Zim had his goggles over his face wires sparking as he was focused on his task, antennae flat against his head. The flickering of the lights and the glare of the goggles made it hard to read Zim's expression- but he looked to be deep in concentration.
"CB you should have just told me something was wrong," Zim was speaking to the wires before him. "I could have been working on these fixes ages ago. I can even do updates! How do you feel about being able to run at three times your original speed? Great right?"
"Hey Zim," Voel almost hated to interrupt, watching the smaller Irken work was... rare. He had not seen him so focused since school.
"Not now CB."
"That was not me, father. That was Voel. How..." CB spoke up sounding confused. "How did you even get our voices confused? We sound nothing alike."
It was true. They really didn't- but as Voel knew from experience, Zim was incredibly hard of hearing. You had to rely more on his tremor sense (which was actually quite exceptional) if you wanted to get his attention.
Zim turned finally, lifting up at the goggles and blinking at Voel. "Oh. It is you." He didn't sound particular happy or unhappy, just as if he were stating fact. "What do you need? Can't you see I'm busy?"
"Yeah, but I'm having trouble with the... 'phone?'" He wasn't entirely sure of the name of the device, but Zim seemed to know what he meant.
"Not surprising. The technology is not as good as our own." Zim held out his hand. "Give it here, I'm a master at these rudimentary communications systems." Voel smirked at bit a Zim's confidence as he surrendered his buzzing phone. Zim took off one of his work gloves, tilted the little black box, and swiped at the screen and the buzzing stopped.
"What did you do?" Voel looked impressed.
"Nothing." Zim squinted at the screen. "Obviously the caller was so intimidated by Zim's amazingness they hung up."
"Sir, there are visitors at the door. One of them is Dib. He brought the Kryptonian with him. Shall I let them in?" A screen came down from the ceiling, displaying the image of Dib and Lor at the front door. They were not dressed, however, in their Syndicate uniforms; which was a little unusual. Voel tilted his head looking at the screen. Dib was in all black. Which seemed typical, but it was a long coat with tails, fine clothing, with buttons down the front. It looked far more tailored than his usual outfit. There seemed to be some sort of corpse slew over his shoulder that looked partially decayed. Beside him the Kryptonian was just dressed in a nice, all black attire with a white shirt, tie around the neck, and dark glasses over his eyes. Zim took one look at the screen and made a noise of supreme discontent as he dropped the tools in his hand.
"Is it that time of year all ready? No no, Zim will get the door CB. You go make sure GIR doesn't get out." Zim took off his other thick, leathery glove and pushed the goggles up to his head. He headed to the elevator and Voel hurried after him- not wanting to be without Zim in case the phone began buzzing angrily at him once more.
"So... why does your human look like that."
"Because he's stupid and this time of year it becomes more evident." Zim retorted looking rather annoyed. They reached the top floor and Zim marched straight to the door. He flung it open, not bothering with the disguise much to Voel's horror.
"Hey Zim." Dib smirked. The rotted corpse on his shoulder stirred, the crooked head lurched up and a bony arm reached out toward the Irken. Voel immediately drew out his PAK legs but Zim didn't even flinch as the decaying hand swiped just shy of his face and went limp again. Dib blinked seeing the complete lack of a reaction. "Oh, come on, you have to admit it's pretty cool. I've been working on it for months."
"I thought your extra arms from last year were bad." Zim scoffed. "This holiday is weird- SO VERY WEIRD DIB STINK!"
"You love it."
'SILENCE YOUR LIES HUMAN FILTH!" Zim pointed dramatically in Dib's direction and the zombified corpse on his shoulder grabbed Zim's finger making the Irken shudder.
"Trick or Treat!" Lor helpfully added as the undead (Voel realized now, it was actually a robot) corpse released Zim, Lor handed the smaller a red and white stripped hooked piece of food. "And happy New Year." He looked over to Dib. "Did I do it right?"
"You did..." Dib was faltering under Lor's excited gaze, "...better?"
"I've been here for two years and your Holidays still get me. There are just too many, how do you keep them all straight?" Lor sighed.
"This... is a Holiday?" Voel perked up.
"A stupid one. But they're all stupid honestly." Zim shrugged.
"But why do you look like that?" Voel was clearly missing something and he didn't like it. "Is it because of the holiday?"
"No, he is always ugly." Zim replied, looking Dib up and down.
"True, but the outfit and the robot are new." Voel spoke over Dib's rather loud protests. "Is CB making it move like that?"
"No. This operates independently." Dib looked pleased with himself. "I control it with neural relays, hooked it directly into my brain." Dib sounded rather pleased with himself. "It had no AI at all. I invented it myself."
"It's lame, just like this whole holiday." Zim retorted snidely.
"You love it." Dib teased him. "Remember last year? You and GIR covered the entire neighborhood in toilet paper? That was fucking awesome. You're just mad," He knelt down to be more on level with Zim, "because you forgot again, didn't you?"
"NO! Zim did not forget! It is DIB who forgot!" Zim retorted with the utmost indignation. "Zim has a costume! An amazing one!"
"Why are you dressing up though?" Voel was still confused.
"It's part of the Halloween spirit," Dib's explanation was really more of a vague statement. "You get dressed up in costumes- try to be terrifying." He waved his fingers dramatically. "I'm an undertaker." He gestured at his own outfit. "I've been wearing this all day, freaking the hell out of people. You should have seen Lor this morning."
"I broke the wall." Lor confirmed.
"The Captain tried to punch me." Dib sounded pleased with this.
"You're not even that scary..." Voel replied pointedly. "You probably are just startling people with your moving dead thing. And you..." he looked at Lor, "you don't look any different..."
"Oh, yeah," Lor looked down at himself. "I'm wearing a suit. Like the alien hunters from Diego's horror movies. They were cool."
"I keep telling you, Lor, it wasn't a horror movie..." Dib rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Anyway. The point is to be scary. Kids go out and get candy and stuff, but for adults it's an excuse to do stuff like this." Voel gave Dib the once over, looking unconvinced.
"I could be way scarier than that. I want to make a costume." Voel could do far better than a robotic human corpse. There were Irken outfits that could put real terror in the hearts of these idiot humans. He needed a bit of time to get something together.
"You can do that, but first, you have to report to Captain Rose." Lor cut of Voel's train of thought. "You are being called in for your community service."
"My what?" Viel reeled back a bit.
"Community service? You guys are still technically war criminals who attacked a peaceful Syndicate vessel." Lor crossed his arms over his chest. Voel had to admit that nicely tailored outfit did seem to give the doctor a tad bit more authority.
"Yeah but that wasn't our fault." Voel pointed out.
"Rules are rules. I don't make them." Lor shrugged. "But since you guys are Irken these tasks won't take you all that long. You can still come up with a costume in time for the Halloween Egg hunt!" Voel saw Dib give a long sigh, shaking his head.
"No. No egg hunt."
"Right, there is no egg hunt but there is still a party tonight. Think of it as a show of good will between the Syndicate and the Empire." Lor smiled, seemingly un-phased by his constant mistakes in regards to this Earth holiday. "But you'll need to get Therron."
"Oh I plan on it. I'm not doing this alone." He really didn't feel like he should be doing this at all but if his hand was going to be forced- then Mothra herself could not stop him from dragging Therron into this too. Physical labor? For the Syndicate of all people? He was supposed to be leading armies, not doing petty chores. Still... it was best not to piss off their only intergalactic allies at the moment. As frustrating as they were, the Syndicate were the only lifeline Voel and Therron had to Irk.
Though, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if Vero and Xia had run the planet into the ground by now. What with her unwillingness to cooperate and his unyielding laziness: if it were not for the horrors Voel had witnessed at the hands if the Control Brains, he might have had a degree of sympathy for them for having to work with those idiot elites.
"I'll go too." Zim volunteered. Voel blinked, a little surprised by the gesture. Zim had not been quite as doting as he had been in the past, before figuring out about the fake mission. (It was better than the death sentence that should have been awaiting Zim- Voel had done his best to find a way round that punishment).
"You're going to help?" Maybe, Voel thought to himself, there was still a part of that over-eager Irken Invader deep in Zim's cardiac spooch.
"Oh no. I just want to have front row seats to watching Therron do work." Zim's antennae perked up and Voel sighed. "Ooo! I'm going to invite Skoodge! He'll get a kick out of this!" And there it was: Skoodge. Sure, the guy was a great Invader but from Voel's perspective, it seemed Skoodge had given up on Irk long ago. Why would someone who loved the planet the way Zim did, constantly be seeking companionship from fucking Skoodge?
"You guys are free to do whatever you want. You finished your Community Service ages ago." Lor's response didn't make Voel feel any better.
"Good luck making Therron do anything." That was going to be the true point of interest for this whole ordeal. "His job was literally programmed into his PAK when we were Tallest and yet he was able to resist the ingrained urge to do any, actual work."
"Look, dude, I'm a doctor and Diego is a cadet. You are literally telling two people who have no power to help you. If you want a not that says you are too sick to work, I can do that. But I won't because you are fine and that would be lying." Lor did his best to look sympathetic. Voel knew the medic had a point. The Syndicate were almost as anal about rank as the Empire.
"Then why were you two sent in the first place?" Voel had a decent idea as to the reason even before he finished asking the question.
"Super strength." Lor replied flatly.
"Ah, that makes sense." He could have figured that out if he were thinking more clearly. Honestly, the stuff with CB was still weighing on him, despite his rest. Doing some mindless Syndicate work might actually prove to be beneficial in this one instance. "I'll go ahead and meet your Captain at the Syndicate base." He tapped his gauntlet and his human disguise flickered up. "I will let all of you handle getting Therron there."
"How are you going to get there?" Dib looked skeptically at the ex-Tallest
"I can walk it. Honestly, the base isn't that far and I could use the exercise." He had become more accustomed to walking on his own feet rather than rust relying on the hover belts to get around. It was actually nice to exercise again. His little battle with CB in the main power room had been fun, but it had alerted him to the fact that he was grossly out of practice with his combat. Being Tallest had made him soft.
"How do we know you won't run?" Dib arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms, looking suspiciously at the former leader. Voel just gave him a blank look.
"And go where, genius?"
"I dunno, run for it? Go into hiding?" Dib shrugged.
"If I run Captain Krypton over there is just going to catch me. If I hide in the base, which is the only place capable of hiding me from Syndicate search and rescue probes, CB would out me in a second. So, again: Where would I fucking go?"
"That is true. I would sell him out for a single corn chip and I do not even eat." The house replied helpfully. Voel might have imagined it, but there seemed to be an almost fondness in the AI's synthetic voice.
"He's got a point." Lor nudged Dib and the human relaxed his stance. "Let him walk it. It'll take us that long to get Therron."
"Thank you." And with that, Voel began his walk to the secret, Syndicate base. It was a little interesting that these two vastly different cultures had developed similar 'secret-underground-base- technology, though the Syndicate had generators of their own creation verses the Irken technology's need to leech off of already existing energy sources.
Also, annoyingly enough, the syndicate bases were bigger. Though that could be because they were meant to house an entire team verses the Irken base built just for an Invader. After all it took a group of Syndicate to accomplish a task easily done by just a single Irken.
When Voel made it onto the campus, he was a bit surprised to see the Captain standing out in the open, her disguise off, idly chatting with some humans that had been passing by. She looked up, as Voel walled over (even in his human disguise, his height was turning heads). "You made it. I have to say I was decently convinced you would run off." She looked bemused by his appearance.
"I have nowhere to go." His reply was simple, but to the point.
"That is true." She turned to the people beside her. "All right kids I will see you all in class Monday. You better have those reports ready."
"Sure thing Dr. Rosenberg." It seemed that Allison Rose had not altered much about her name. "And great elf costume! You look fucking awesome." The humans walked off, leaving Captain Rose shaking her head, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Every fucking year they think I'm an elf. I don't get it! What about my blue skin and clearly Tangean lineage makes them see an elf!?"
"I don't know what an elf is...so... I am not going to be much help..." Voel was fairly sure she wasn't talking to him, but he responded anyway.
"I had to look it up but I still don't get it. I also sometimes get called a smurf but that is just rude."
"I don't know what that is either." Voel replied dryly.
"It's an Earth pop-culture thing. You get to learn that stuff pretty quickly here. Now," Captain Rose straightened herself up. "I see you are here but where is your other half?"
"Other h... Therron?"
"Yeah I am not used to seeing just one of you."
"We are individuals, you know that right? With our own thoughts and feelings?" It never used to bother him, being lumped together with Therron (well okay actually it had bothered him a lot on the Massive- but they shared a title so it was expected) but on Earth he was not Tallest Red. He was Voel. And at first, it was frustrating being back at square one, before all the power and glory. But on the other hand, it was nice getting to start over.
"True, but aren't you bonded?"
"Only politically. " Voel shot that down fast.
"Huh..." the Captain seemed genuinely surprised by that.
"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" The shouting was loud enough that Voel could hear Therron far before he saw him.
"Speaking of tall, purple, and loud..." the Captain mused as Voel's ocular implants joined in on Therron being pushed out of a car by Dib and Lor who were forcibly having to half-carry him toward the Captain. All the while Zim and Skoodge were following along eating popcorn from a little bag. Both of them, for some unknown reason, were wearing brightly colored shirts with floral patterns.
"UNHAND ME THIS INSTANT!" Therron was no match for thr medic's strength and was easily brought to stand beside Voel. "Voel thank Mothra you are here!" Therron brought his hands to either side if Voel's armor, shaking him. "THESE HEATHENS expect us to do manual labor! US!"
"Well," Voel replied coolly as he pushed Therron's hands off of him, "that's probably because you authorized a kill command on them back on the Massive."
"I didn't know that's what the stupid command did!" Therron protested, indignantly. "I thought it was just some kind of security protocol!"
"Then be more thorough. " Voel wiped himself off.
"I regret saving you." Therron retorted.
"You don't mean that." Voel was slightly amused by his companion's completely and utter outrage.
"Yes I do. I mean that a lot!"
"Okay you two let's get down to business." Captain Rose interrupted the little spat between the two disgraced leaders. "I need you both to clean the GST Nova. Repairs are finally finished and she needs a good scrubbing." The Captain gestured for the Irkens to follow her as they approached the secret, Syndicate, underground base. "You know how to clean, don't you?"
"Clean!?" Therron looked like he was ready to pass out. "This has to be a joke! Don't you have robots or short people who can handle these menial tasks!? We are the Tallests! We don't clean! People clean for us and they are happy to do so because we are so amazing!"
"So... you don't know how... or are you just being dramatic..." the Captain looked to Voel for some sort of answer, seeing as how Therron was completely melting down.
"We know how. He just doesn't want to. We were Elites before we were Tallests. We cleaned those barracks till they shined." Well... Therron might not have done much of it... now that Voel was thinking back on those days. He vaguely recalled Therron vanishing during cleaning sessions and some bright-eyed Irken eagerly doing Therron's share of the work.
"You can't agree to this Voel! What would Irkens say of they say us- they're all mighty leaders- scrubbing floors like Table Drones!" Again, Therron had grabbed to Voel and was violently shaking him.
"Well there are some Irkens right here," Captain Rose gestured to Skoodge and Zim who were watching the exchange with interest. "You can ask them."
"This is the greatest moment of Zim's life." Zim's response left Therron open mouthed, and at a loss.
"I want pictures of this to commemorate this monumental occasion." Skoodge confirmed as they made their way to the docking area where the Nova was now parked on the lowest deck. It was a bit impressive that the Syndicate had all of the stored away beneath a human educational facility and had been completely unnoticed. Though, Voel was not sure if that was a testament to Syndicate skill or just human obliviousness.
"Maybe Zeke can do an article about it." Zim suggested through a mouthful of crunchy kernels.
"You bet I am, pally. " Everyone jumped as Zeke clambered out from underneath one of the Syndicate Maintenance Drone. "I have a title for it and everything: Cleaning up Their Acts: Tallests Try to Mend Devastated Syndicate Alliance."
"First of all: That title is dumb." Therron was quickly over the shock of the tiny reporter appearing out of nowhere and was ready to once more fight for his dignity. "Secondly: our alliance with the Syndicate is fine! Just ask them!" He gestured to Captain Rose who made a very uncomfortable expression.
"Yeah actually? It isn't super great right now because you tried to kill us? I mean we know why, but it still looks bad. That's why we're doing this!"
"But this isn't the work of Tallers!" Therron's complaints had turned, now, to full-out whining.
"C'mon Therron, this is making nice with foreign dignitaries. You love this schmoozing shit." Voel tried to cheer him up, with little success. "It's where you flourish."
"No! I flourish at elegant banquets when I am talking fat headed Gloobians into a treaty that makes them totally reliant on the Empire. This is not a fine gala, Voel! These are not high-ranking aristocrats!" Again Therron gestured aggressively at the members of the Syndicate who were now gathering around out of interest.
"Well actually," Dib spoke up, a smirk on his face as he nudged the medic forward. "Lor here is the son of the Chairman of the High Council. "
"Wait, really?" That got Therron's attention. "You know, Lor, that uniform makes you look very academic. You can just tell you're a great medic."
"That explains why the Syndicate got so pissed at us." Voel nodded thoughtfully. This was starting to add up. They had almost murdered the son of a Syndicate leader. No wonder everyone was so mad at them.
"Ship. Clean it. Now." Captain Rose seemingly had enough of the back and forth as she snapped and the ship door opened revealing lots of cleaning supplies from lasers for cleaning the oil off the warp filters, to just simple mops and brooms. "And don't worry about the water. It is Syndicate filtered water, not the stuff from Earth so it shouldn't hurt your sensitive Irken skin."
"No no no no no! Don't leave us come on!" Therron tried to go after her but the Captain, the medic, and the human cadet all vanished out of the landing area as quickly as they could. Zim and Skoodge set up a pair of folding chairs and sat down on them, reclining back with their snacks. Zeke was sitting on the floor beside Skoodge, with a little recording device out. Voel shrugged and grabbed one of the mops, beginning to clean the floors as Therron paced around him. "They left us here!" He picked up one of the brooms looking as if it were about to bite him in his face. "They left us here with this... strange, alien equipment!"
"It's a broom, Therron. You know what a broom is." Voel replied flatly.
"He does? Well that is news to everyone." Skoodge piped up from his comfortable little set up, off to the side with Zim, watching the Tallers suffer.
"You know," Voel continued to mop, "you three could help us."
"No." Zeke replied instantly. "I'm working."
"Yeah," Zim added. "And you can see by our shirts," he gestured to the brightly colored collared shirts he and Skoodge had slid over their uniforms. "We are on vacation."
Voel narrowed his eyes. "Mothra damn it". He had to admit, those shirts definitely indicated a vacation.
"We are your Tallests! You should be stumbling over yourselves in an effort to help!" Therron drew himself up to his full height as Voel stood beside him, mopping up what looked to be dust old enough to had witnessed the reign of Tallest Miyuki.
"Hey wait a second..." Skoodge was squinting hard at the two as they stood next to one another in the ship. "Wait... Voel are you taller than Therron!?" Voel blinked looking to see they had both discarded the hover belts. (It was strange seeing Therron walking as he had always loved to hover- though the damn thing probably wore out due to the strain of Earth's gravity.)
"N-no!" Therron reeled back looking as if he had been struck across the face. He tried to straighten himself up even more. "That isn't true! That is just some Zeke-created conspiracy shit!"
"Yeah I'm taller." Voel cut off Therron in the middle of his rant. "But it wasn't until after we were initiated as Tallests that I grew the extra few centimeters. We just look the same height because I slouch and Zim helped create leg extenders for Therron." Skoodge slowly turned, looking at Zim who was sipping at a brightly colored drink wearing a large floppy hat. (Where did he get that hat? Had he brought it in? Voel hadn't seen him carrying it, but then again, he hadn't seen either Zim or Skoodge carrying the folding chairs.)
"You knew?" Skoodge had an incredulous expression. "You knew about this and never said anything?"
"Eh, Zim's brilliance knows no bounds. Tricking a population because Therron is inadequate is just one of my many talents. One of the others is secret keeping." Zim replied coolly.
"You're terrible with secrets. "Skoodge gave Zim a look.
"No, I am amazing with them. Just like I never told anyone that Zeke is afraid of Traffic Cones."
"W... what?" Zeke blinked looking more confused than anything else. "I don't even know what those are..."
"Shhhh it's okay Zeke. There are many strange fears you have that you can be ashamed of. This is only one of them."
"But I have no idea what you're talking about..." Zeke pressed. "Wait? Do you mean Trifuulian-coahns? The incredibly vicious monsters on Trifore-9 that have eighteen rows of teeth? Yeah I told you they freak me put because one of them once tried to eat a ship I was in "
"It's okay Zeke, we all have strange fears." Zim patted the tiny journalist on the head, Zeke looking highly annoyed.
"Oh that would be a good costume..." Skoodge looked thoughtful.
"Right! Costumes! Zim almost forgot!" Zim hopped up on the little folding chair, excitedly. "We should go work on those!"
"So you are just going to leave us here!?" Therron looked aghast by the very thought.
"Yep!" Zim grabbed his little chair.
"I'm not." Zeke replied helpfully.
"You are two feet tall you don't count." Therron informed him. Voel just sighed watching the others leave. Therron was still holding the broom but he had yet to actually use it. Zim and Skoodge had packed up their things and were heading toward the exit. Therron was shouting after them. "Get back here you traitors!"
"No!" Skoodge called back waving cheerfully as they left the docking area. Therron let out a long breath.
"Great! They're gone."
"Why is that great? I thought you were mad at them for leaving." Voel retorted as Therron's purple eyes narrowed and her surveyed the area in question.
"I was faking it, duh. If I had tried to get them out they would have stayed forever." He dropped the broom, looking outside of the parked ship.
"Are you going to run for it?" Voel lifted one antenna questioningly.
"I thought about it," Therron admitted, "but so long as they have that Kryptonian around, I won't get far. No no, this requires finesse and inside knowledge. This is the Syndicate after all." He seemed to be looking for something in particular. Voel thought about pressuring him to help; but he realized quickly that was losing battle. Therron stayed perched at the door for quite some time before finally straightening up and marching right out. Zeke had finally taken his leave, talking excitedly about a story (but Voel wasn't listening).
"Therron?" Voel called after him but his summons was drowned out by an overly enthusiastic greeting from his companion.
"Why if it isn't my favorite great Invader!" Therron could not have laid on his act any thicker.
"I thought you didn't know my name?" When Voel heard Tak's voice reply, he instantly realized the plan.
Classic Therron.
He was almost impressed.
"Tak, please, of course we know you. You are a thing of legend between my co-ruler and I." Therron was guiding Tak toward the ship. "We just pretended not to know you so that we wouldn't embarrass Tenn or Skoodge. They have such fragile egos, you know."
"No, that's true..." Tak was nodding along, completely under Therron's spell.
"So Voel and I came here with a special mission from your Captain; Captain Nova."
"Captain Rose?" Tak tilted her head looking confused. "The ship is called the Nova."
"Ah yes. Good." Therron wasn't missing a beat. "I was testing you. You see the Captain and I have all these code names for one another. I am pretty sure she's in love with me- but that's a story for another day."
"I think she's actually married-" Tak was cut off as Therron continued.
"So when we were given this top-secret task I had just the Irken in mind to assign it to. At first, I thought Tenn, she is so loyal and strong-"
"I am far more loyal and stronger than Tenn!" Tak protest, her antennae lying flat.
"And then I thought... no... Tenn doesn't have that special touch. She isn't as dedicated as Tak." Therron was a master of words. Voel could admit that. He had once seen Therron smooth talk a Palchuuk Emperor out of their own planet.
"Sir I would be honored to assist you! What is it you need!?" Tak stood at perfect attention. Voel thought about blowing the cover here, and revealing Therron's little sham... but he also really wanted to work on a good costume.
"I dropped my one-of-a-kind snack Pinn from Scromp-Chompers and this ship is so filthy I cannot find it anywhere!" Therron draped one arms across his forehead, swooning dramatically. "I have been so distraught that even Voel picked up a broom, lowering himself to cleaning duties like some sort of pawn just to try to calm me!" Therron made a move as if to faint and Voel tossed the mop aside to catch him so he could give a proper, pitiful pose.
"It's true. He loved that pin." Voel nodded, stone faced.
"I will find that pin sirs! I shall not rest until it has been discovered beneath this... this Syndicate dirt and grime!" Tak grabbed the mop Voel had dropped and began to vigorously tidy up. Voel watcher her for a moment before helping Therron back to his feet.
"You are good, I gotta admit it." Voel spoke as soon as he and Therron were off to the side.
"Worked every time during training." Therron smirked.
"You never change." Voel was now able to dedicate himself to getting a really good costume. So while Tak dedicated herself to their community service, Therron and Voel got to work on costumes, courtesy of whatever the Syndicate had available. When combine with Irken ingenuity, things were coming together nicely.
:"I am almost done with the outfit..." Therron was vigorously cutting at black cloth. Voel saw him look over to his own creation. "Woah, that helmet looks just like Rodan!"
"Good, that us my costume." It was perfect in every way. What was scarier than one of the Irken Gods of War.
"Rodan? Not Ghidora?" Therron looked confused. "But Ghidora represents conquest. "
"But Rodan represents righteous fury. I have always thought he was the most proud and strong of the Gods- aside from Mothra, of course."
"Well yeah, no one is better than Mothra. She is Irk's guiding light. It is under her blessing we rose to Tallest."
"I never thought you were a strong believer in Mothra." Voel was a little surprised to hear the lavish praise of their Goddess from Therron of all Irkens.
"Of course I am. She stands for beauty and elegance. I am practically her walking image!" Voel squinted as Therron struck a pose. Mothra was described as tall, Therron did have that going for him. She was alleged to be beautiful, thin framed, pale as the moonlight with sweeping antennae and wings, large luminescent wings that glowed in the darkness.
"Sure..." he dragged the word out to emphasize his disagreement. Therron either missed the sarcasm, or was intentionally ignoring it.
"I know we are practically identical. "
Are you two seriously making First Officer Tak do your duties!?" Lor was suddenly standing in the doorway looking quite annoyed. Voel wasn't sure how long he had been there. "Sorry for not believing you Q."
"Is that how you found out?" Therron made a face as Q stepped out from behind Lor grinning from one side of his pallid face to the other, revealing rows of needle like teeth. It made perfect sense why they hadn't noticed Q spying on them. Parasites were nearly undetectable by Irkens, their PAKs had difficulties obtaining readings on them. That red-eyed asshole could have been in the ship from the start.
"I am just helping my Tallests find a pin!" Tak protested, indignantly.
"No you're not. They tricked you. It was a Halloween Fools prank. They are very customary on Earth." Lor sighed. "Captain Rose needs you anyway, you haven't filed logs for the past two days and you're backed up on paperwork." He gestured for Tak to leave and Voel could see her stifling her own scream.
"I HATE the Syndicate!" She threw down her mop and was clenching her fists as she started to vacate the ship, looking full of existential dread for all the paperwork that awaited her. In a way, Voel was convinced that helping them clean was actually saving Tak from a worse fate. "I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE THE SYNDICATE!"
"No you don't..." Lor smiled empathetically.
"Yes I do you idiot paperwork zombies!"
"Awe see, that's the Halloween Spirit." As Tak stormed off, Lor remained in the doorway of the ship, watching the two ex-Tallests, his arms folded, leaning against the frame of the ship. "No more slacking off, I'm here to keep an eye on you and I have X-Ray vision so don't just think you can sneak into another room and nap."
"Dammit," Therron muttered under his breath, Voel had a feeling that was his former co-ruler's exact plan. He could see Therron deep in thought, creating a new scheme to get out of their punishment. Voel surrendered himself to his fate. Tak had already done a great deal of the work and even with Therron half-assing it, there wouldn't be too much left.
"C'mon Therron, let's just get this over with so we can go back to our costumes." Voel had just learned about this holiday, but already he was convinced the Irkens could do it better. (His only real competition for best costume was Dib and that- admittedly- impressive robot over his shoulder. But the human had made the amateur mistake of showing off his outfit early and giving the competition time to plan a way to best him.)
"You're right, you're right." Therron heaved a long sigh. "You know, Lor was it?" Voel rolled his eyes as he saw Therron slide his way over to the medic. "You're the medic on this ship? I have heard you are just amazing. You use what... the Hyperion 2-X?"
"Oh, no. The Hyperion 1-ST. I'd kill for a 2-X but we're not made of monies and the Nova is a small ship." Lor laughed. Therron laughed along with him. Voel gave a defeated sigh. He knew exactly where this was going.
"The son of the Chairman hasn't tried a Hyperion 2-X? You're kidding. You know our Massive had the Hyperion 3X-2 which isn't even out on the market yet." Therron put an arm around Lor's shoulder, having to lean in order to reach. Voel didn't even know if this information was true or not. He doubted Therron would know if it was- but then again- Therron knew a lot about really random topics. It was one of his strong points.
"The 3X-2!? Are you kidding!? What was it like!? How many surgery settings did it have? What color was it!?" The medic was wide eyed and Therron's hook had sunk deep into his mark. Therron began gently guiding Lor out of the ship, still talking all the while.
"Oh it was amazing, let me tell you. It actually comes in four different colors. They're talking about adding a fifth color before release but that's only rumor." They were out of the door. "And let me say Mr. Chairman's son you have remarkable Kryptonian eyes. Have I ever told you about your people? I wrote a thesis on them..." and they were gone. Just like that, Voel was alone. Voel looked at the broom in his hand and then tossed it aside, going back to work on his costume.
Fuck it, he wasn't doing Therron's share of the work.
Eventually, parts of the ship began to light up as tin y drones spilled out, starting to do small amounts of cleaning. Voel turned around to watch for a moment, a hint of a smile at his lips. "Did you take over the Syndicate ship?"
"Negative." CB's response was relieving (slightly). "I am just here visiting LEO he is the AI on this vessel. I thought I might lend a hand."
"That's uncharacteristically nice of you."
"And you not trying to delete me after finding out what I am was uncharacteristically nice of you. So, consider this my thanks."
"I don't know if you're Irken, CB, but you sure as hell don't act like any computer I've ever worked with." Voel was amused by the situation. He was still not one hundred percent sure about CB. The information he had learned was still pressing at the back of his mind. He knew he needed to discuss it with someone but Zim was the one who created CB. It was unlikely he wanted to hear Voel's concerns about his work. Therron would over-react. Tenn or Tak were possible options but Tak's hatred of Zim might get in the way and Tenn had been corrupted by the Control Brains at one point...
That left Skoodge.
For all the fat Irken's many, many flaws... he was level headed and a descent Invader.
…
Mothra damn it the guy was a great Invader. Voel's personal grudges against him couldn't suppress that fact. The issue would be getting Skoodge by himself to talk.
"Hey, do you like my costume?" Voel held up the helmet he had just finished, bony horns rose up and back, deep set eye sockets on either side pulsed with fiery light. A toothed- overarching beak extended over his head.
"You are Rodan: Irken God of Revenge and Fire."
"So you do know your Irken lore. Good for Zim."
"What in the hell is going on here?" Captain Rose's voice echoed through the ship and Voel turned to see her and Carrius walking up to the door. The robots scurried back into their housing and Voel halfheartedly reached for a broom, knowing it made minimal difference. He knew he was caught and Therron was nowhere to be found. Captain Rose looked around with visible annoyance as she surveyed the cleaning Tak had done. "Where the fuck is my medic!?"
"He ran off with Therron a few hours ago." Voel replied flatly.
"Son of a..." she trailed off. "Carrius get your brother." The Romulan nodded, running off as Captain Rose continued. "You guys might be worse at Community service than Zim! And that little fuck burned down the entire science wing!"
"I did, it's true." Zim poked his head out under the Captain's arm and Voel stifled a laugh. Zim had little eyes glued to his head and red scarves that matched the design for Q's default form. That was a clever costume.
"Well on the other hand I finished my costume for the party tonight." Voel held up the flaming-eyed helmet and lifted a cape of earthy brown, veined with lava-like lines, pulsing with pure energy. Zim's eyes widened.
"Oh Rodan! If I had known I could have been Ghidora!"
"I like your Q outfit." Skoodge assured him. The former Invader had on a sweeping cape and strange little fangs.
"What makes you think you're going to the party? You did almost nothing I asked of you!" Captain Rose had a hand to her forehead looking exasperated.
"Because we are foreign dignitaries," Therron came up behind her looking smug (a very confused looking Lor beside him), "and Syndicate protocol states clearly that officially sanctioned functions cannot exclude us. Section 21-34 subsection 138c." Captain Rose pulled out her reader and began scrolling vigorously through it.
"I have no idea how we were gone that long," Lor was explaining to his brother while the Captain searched, "'we didn't even talk about the new Hyperion models... he got to talking about one thing and we just kept going from there..."
"Holy shit, you're right." The Captain interrupted Lor's explanation. "Well fuck. Get your costumes on, I guess."
"Excellent!" Therron donned his long dark robe with a circular collar that was wider than his whole frame. There was a simple sign on the round, flat collar piece labeled: 'snacks'. "I'm an empty snack table! Horrifying right?"
"Mine's better." Voel replied as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Holy shit!" Dib poked his head in at this point, eyes catching the moving fire-lights on Voel's cloak and helmet. "What the hell is Voel dressed as?! That looks fucking incredible!" Voel was pleased to see his main competition was impressed. Voel donned his helmet, swirling the cape around himself, hooking it to his gauntlets to give the illusion of wings.
"Behold, human! The War God: Rodan!" Voel's voice boomed and the human looked appropriately impressed. "One of our very suns is named for his might! He watches over us with burning eyes and leads us in times of crisis!"
"That's an Irken GOD!?" Dib was taking pictures with his stupid little phone. "I knew a little about Mothra but you guys have others!?"
"We have several." Therron replied clearly not as impressed by Voel's creation. "Mothra's just the most important."
"Oh! Are we getting started?" Lor jumped up, hovering in the air for a second. "I didn't get the Halloween Tree!"
"Wait Lor no-" Dib tried to correct him but Lor was gone in a flash. The Captain shook her head, heaving a long, heavy sigh.
"At least tell me he used the door this time."
CRASH.
"He did not." Carrius reported, looking in the direction of the loud crash and series of subsequent crashes. (Carrius had the same outfit as his brother, in fact, Voel now saw the Captain was wearing the outfit as well).
"Dammit Lor..." she rubbed her eyes. She looked up as Lor came back holding a rather large tree with pointed green needles over his shoulder. The thing had to be many times the size of the medic, but he was holding it as if it were nothing more than a couple of twigs.
"Hey there's an Irken outside." He reported, setting the tree down in the landing bay.
"Tenn?" Zim questioned.
"Nah it's some big guy." The Irkens looked at one another and quickly followed Lor though the holes in the landing bay to the outer most docking area. A medium sized Irken ship had docked and a large, hulking Irken with large shoulder armaments, small purple eyes, and a small chef's hat disembarked looking around. Spotting the Tallests he looked confused.
"I... is this a bad time?"
"Oh no we're doing a thing." Voel took the helmet off.
"Oh! Hey it's Sizz-Lorr!" Zim perked up. "Hey you kidnapped me that one time! Do you remember!? Hey! Hey Sizz-Lorr do you remember!?"
"I... I do Zim." The Irken looked appropriately irritated by Zim's bouncing and waving.
"What brings you here?" Zim pushed to the front. "Are you here to take me back?"
"N... no. Zim this has nothing to do with you. I mean... it kind of does." Again, the Irken just looked a little off-put by Zim's line of question. "No, I'm here answering the call. The one you guys sent out." He gestured to the sky behind him as a few of (what Voel had first thought were stars) began to move, drawing closer. "And I brought some others with me."
