My name is Xia, though history will know me as Almighty Tallest X.
I have always known I would be destined for greatness; I was created from the very DNA of Red Death himself: Almighty Tallest Red. He was the greatest warrior of a generation, a battle-ready soldier who thirsted for blood, as a good Irken should. My other donor is unknown, and therefore of little consequence. Whoever it was, was probably not as great as Red. The reason I know this?
Vero.
When I was created, there was another made with my same genetic donors. While we are not identical (thank Mothra) we do share a considerable amount of DNA making us closer in relation than most other Irkens. However, due to our similarities, the smeetery made the horrendous mistake of incubating us in the same tube. Thus, before I even knew the sweet taste of life, I was being dragged down by the leech that was my Tube-Mate. I must have gotten the good traits from our leader. Vero did not share in my good fortune. He lacks focus, drive, and common sense.
Yet due to our shared heritage, he also grew to be tall. It just shows some flaws in the Irken system. Flaws the Control Brains must have failed to see.
When I was just a smeet, I knew my future was going to be one filled with greatness. I idolized our Tallests; I wanted nothing more than to make them proud. It was a grand dream, but like all dreams, reality came to shatter it.
I remember the day well:
I was an Elite, young and fresh into the Training Academy. I was the top of my class, surprising no one. Victory was all I knew, smallers would cower before me and clear paths when I walked. It was because of my skill and promise that I was personally chosen to meet our Tallests face to face.
Vero was also there; despite every reason to dismiss him from the training program, he had somehow weaseled his way into the second highest grades. While I could not prove it was through unsavory means- we all knew that was the case. And while we were awaiting the arrival of our leaders, that asshole had the gall to complain!
I am serious. HE complained.
"Why do we need to go through all of this just so get an internship? Can't they just see we're tall and move on with our lives?" His voice always sounded, to me at least, like a thousand Grokian spawns trying to die in a blender.
"Being interviewed is a privilege!" I shot back, trying not to let his obnoxious personality ruin this moment. "You and I are being considered for Rising Tallest."
"Shouldn't our measurements be enough of an interview?"
"Vero, shut up. They need to see that we-well I- am fit for the job. They won't just let any moron lead our people just because they're tall!"
"I feel like they will. I mean, I got into Elite school because I'm tall. I wanted to be a PAK technician, I like computers, not fighting."
"Yes, Vero, I'm very aware of how much you suck, but this is very important to me; so, don't ruin my focus! I mean once they hear you talk; I am sure you'll be shipped off to some planet where you can't bother me ever again- and I will be put on the Massive! Serving at the sides of our Tallests as they initiate Operation Impending Doom II!"
"I don't know why you're so excited. The first one didn't go so great." He was so huffy for someone about to meet their leaders. It was like he didn't even care.
"That was because of a Defect. But this time there is no Defect. They sent him off to Foodcourtia to rot in the masses of obese alien slime!"
"I mean I thought it was kind of funny when Zim-"
"Do NOT speak that name, Vero. Our Tallests will be coming any moment now and I don't want them to think you are praising that walking disaster."
"Your face is a walking disaster."
I wish, good Irkens, that I could say I kept my temper. But you see, dealing with Vero in long bursts can put so much strain on even the strongest wills. Regretfully, I snapped and grabbed that lanky waste of space, and threw him over my shoulder onto the ground. He didn't even try to defend himself (how he had gotten that far in our Elite schooling was beyond me- yes it was still our first year and he still had plenty of time to fail- but still) and he skidded across the floor into the opposing door just as it slid open. Vero's body had slid into the feet of none other than the Chief of Agenda. She looked down at him with rightful disgust and stepped over his body.
"Rising Tallests, make yourself presentable. Your leaders await your presence." Her voice calm, commanding. This was my moment. Now was my time to shine.
Had I known then what I know now, I would not have hurried so, down that hall to the meeting room. Before taking the position of Tallest, this had been my favorite memory, but now it feels tainted by the bitter reality in which I am living.
Down that hall I went, ready to meet my leaders. I followed Sym with confidence, I was in pristine condition, ready for whatever might come my way. And then I saw them. The meeting room doors had opened an I saw them- the Red Death and the Purple Nightmare. At one time I thought the nickname referred to Purple's prowess in battle, I now realize that it was simply his personality that was nightmarish.
As I look back on this moment without my nostalgic joy, I can realize our Tallests were getting fat, lazy, and lethargic. Their graceful poses were nothing more than slouching, crumbs still on the face of that Purple abomination. It pains me to recall the conversation that took place that day, but I will recount it to the best of my ability:
Tallest Red: "Xia you are clearly so superior to your classmates that it is a wonder we are only having this conversation now, clearly we should have had you by our side for Impending Doom. You would have warned us about the Defect. "
Me:"I would have gladly done so my Tallest."
Purple:"You are so beautiful and perfect that I'm intimidated! I immediately don't like you and am going to dedicate my life to ruining your future plans."
Red: "Purple don't talk to our successors in such a way! Xia is clearly the most obvious choice of Tallest that I have ever seen. If it were possible to step down and surrender my position to you, I would. Right this very second."
Vero:"I am obnoxious and a moron, my self-confidence is terrible because I spend my whole life in Xia's shadow, that and I pretend I don't even want to be an Elite despite that being the OBVIOUS BEST career."
Red:"Shut up Vero, no one likes you. You are obviously inferior to your Tube-Mate. I should have only authorized one smeet that day. You are my single biggest mistake and every time I behold your face I am filled with deep, cardiac-spooch wrenching regret."
Vero:"That is a fair assessment; I'm pretty terrible."
Purple: "I am equally, if not more terrible than you, Vero! Xia's perfection is greatly intimidating, and humbling!"
Red:"Xia, would you please do Irk the honor of becoming our Rising Tallest? Only you have the brain and raw power to lead us out of the hell hole that Purple will inevitably create for us. Future smeets will make statues of your greatness. Vero, I guess you can have the title too until we find a way to make you shorter."
Vero: "I will take this title even though I am in no way deserving."
Red: "You are not. That is true."
Purple:"The date of my death will be cause for celebration throughout Irk."
"Hey Xia? What the fuck?" Vero's voice had interrupted her recording.
Xia sighed, she turned off the recording device and looked back to Sym and Vero as they were riding down a hallway with happy, little, animatronic Irkens all singing a happy little tune that was more or less telling the riders to go fuck themselves.
"I was making a log." Xia put the device away. "So that future generations can hear the full story of how I saved Irk from this literal nightmare."
"Can I make a few notes?" Vero lifted his finger questioningly.
"No." Xia's reply was concise and firm.
"But I have some notes..."
"No this is my entry; it doesn't need notes!"
"But like," Vero was clearly not getting the hint that Xia did not care one bit about his opinion, "why were you able to quote our conversation in the hall word-for-word; but then when we got to the Tallests meeting you had to paraphrase?"
"You just sat there and listened to her insult you for like ten solid minutes and this is what you choose to question?" Sym was leaning over her little lap bar looking look at the two leaders. Vero shrugged nonchalantly.
"It's nothing I haven't heard before. "
"This is true," Xia replied quickly, "everything I said in my memoir I would say to Vero's face."
"Are you two absolutely certain you will be able to rule together?" Sym seemed to have reservations. At long last, the Chief of Agenda had seen the obvious discrepancies in the competency of the two ruling Irkens.
"Honestly? I am just going to do my best until Vero dies. I assume that is my only option." Xia hated that they were the same age, it meant she would have to wait for the inevitable assassination before getting to truly rule.
"I suppose that is a way to do things seeing as how you two are not bonded like the previous Tallests due to your genetic similarities..." Sym made a little note on her reader.
"Bonded!? Ugh!" The very idea of having to be bonded for life to a deadweight like Vero made her skin crawl. Irken bonding was the highest commitment one could make to another being. It linked your PAKs together, joining you for life to one another. While Bonding could be undone by the Control Brains, it was rare. Bonding was a lifetime commitment. When one Irken in a bonded pair were to die, their partner would pass as well. It was the ultimate act of dedication. Honestly the whole idea was a little outdated in Xia's mind.
"It is rare we have more than one Tallest; though, this is the first incident on record of the Tallests being genetically related. You two should be proud, this is a historic event. " Sym seemed to be trying to lift Xia's spirits, it wasn't doing much so long as she still had to hear that awful song.
"The historic part will be having a Tallest who fixed all the broken parts of our legal system caused by her predecessors."
"Ourpredecessors." Vero cut in. "I'm not dead you know. I'm literally sitting right here."
"Not dead yet, Vero, but give it time. The more you act like Tallest Purple the more you inch an innocent Irken into the throws of madness driving them to inevitably murder you. It will most likely be a laser pistol through your PAK as you're giving a speech, your PAK seizing up leaving you tumbling lifeless, off the balcony." As Xia finished her description, she saw Vero staring at her blankly.
"You wanna talk about that?"
"Talk about what? I hate you and every day we spend together further cements that fact."
"Love you too, sis."
"Sis? Who is Sis? I am Xia."
"Sis is short for sister, it's human slang. A sister is a female that shares in both of your genetic donors." Vero's explanation only made Xia more annoyed.
"I told you to stop with the Earth slang!"
"No. I like it!"
"My Tallests, we should brace ourselves!" Sym interrupted the argument as the ride reached a very precisely sized door that opened up into a long tunnel. The lap bars lifted and the platform lurched forward launching the three Irkens into the tunnel. They were being sucked out into what looked to be the vacuum of space. Sym, Vero, and Xia all activated their PAK legs and strained against the force drawing them outside. Metal legs bit into the solid walls of the tunnel and with considerable effort they were able to hold on until the door shut and they a dropped to the ground. Xia took a deep breath before whirling around to face Sym.
"Sym," Xia said sweetly, poison dripping in her voice. "why IN MOTHRA'S GREAT NAME IS THERE A RIDE UNDER YOUR FUCKINGOFFICE!?"
"I can hear you," Sym sat up, "there is no need for yelling. That ride was Tallest Purple's idea, it was to get rid of bothersome Irkens."
"Well I, for one, enjoyed it. Not a huge fan of the almost getting thrown into space part at the end but if we replace that with like a bunch of pillows or a giant ice cream, it has potential." Vero sat up, checking his PAK legs for any damages. Xia crossed her arms surveying the area in question.
"How are we supposed to get out of here?" She looked to Sym who was typing away on her screen once more.
"Well, I can send a distress message to the Tallests personal guard and have them pull us out, or we could try to find a different route... it might take them a moment to find us because Vero told the guards to monitor the tacos."
"Of course he did." At this point in time, nothing surprised Xia any longer. Outside of Vero doing something useful, nothing that Sym told her would be shocking. This was something akin to how helplessness might feel, if Xia had ever been weak enough to experience such a pitiful emotion. "I am not waiting around for guards; there has to be a way out." Xia began to feel along the walls with her hands.
"There are several maintenance passages, however they would not fit Irkens of our size." Sym pointed to a small hatch along the walls, Xia knew she could fit, but it would be immensely uncomfortable and she did not entirely trust Vero not to somehow get them all stuck.
"I will still investigate it, but I will go alone." She looked firmly in Vero's direction. Vero had started messing with his PAK, probably trying to repair the strain on the legs from having to fight the pull of space.
"Suit yourself." Vero gave her a little wave. "Just promise you'll send help if you do manage to find a way out."
"I will send help for Sym." Xia replied, eyes narrowed as she tried to emphasize to Vero just where he stood.
"Ouch, my feelings." Vero put a hand to his chest, looking offended.
"Shut up Vero." Xia extended her PAK legs, elevating herself before jumping onto the opposing wall, quickly she jumped again, higher. Using this method, she climbed quite a bit to reach a large panel in the wall. This seemed to be another maintenance shaft, but it was large enough for Xia to squeeze into after prying off the metal door. It was tight, difficult to navigate as she tried her best to wriggle and squeeze through the passage. She eventually found a vent, one that seemed to be an exit, and forced her way through, falling gracelessly to the floor. She stood quickly, trying to be sure no one had witnessed the fall, dusting off her armor. The room was dark, only back-lit with dull red lights. There was a very steady, constant hum that filled the room, electric sounding. It pulsed through the wires that lined the walls. She blinked, realizing as she gazed at the cold, black metal with the gently pulsating, crimson lights, where she had fallen.
"Hello, Control Brain." She bowed her head, respectfully. "It was not my intention to disturb you." The Control Brain on the Massive was just as striking as the ones back on Irk. The bulging, synthetic eyes brightened upon hearing her voice.
"Hello Tallest X." She had not heard this one speak before, it was a strong, commanding voice, one she knew would strike fear in the weaker species. "Your vitals are elevated; this indicates that you are upset. Why is this?" It could sense her distress...They were truly intelligent, nearly omnipotent. They never ceased to amaze.
"Forgive my intrusion." Even with all of her new power, speaking directly to the Control Brains was still awe inspiring. They were the very backbone of Irk, the Powersource behind the Collective. To be able to command them as the Tallest put Xia's new position into better perspective. "Vero has been difficult, long story short: we got stuck on some sort of ride that Tallest Purple created." Beings of logic such as the Control Brains would side with her on matters of Purple's gross incompetence.
"That is troubling." With every syllable spoken, the lights would pulse rhythmically. It was almost entrancing. "Tallest Purple had an affinity for causing difficulty. It seems Tallest V may have picked up some of his... bad habits... during your training period."
"Exactly!" She was pleased that someone agreed with her. Ever since she had boarded the Massive, things had been chaos. Having a voice of reason was just what she needed. "Honestly he is a pain! It is like he doesn't even want to declare war!"
"Is that so?" The response surprised her. Maybe she was just so accustomed to people shrugging off Vero's insolence that the idea of someone taking her seriously was foreign. "That will be a problem, Tallest X. If Tallest V is not aiding our cause, then he is an obstacle in our path. Obstacles must be overcome."
"Yeah but how can I do anything in this madhouse? The ship won't even turn around!"
"Fixing the many issues caused by your predecessors will take time and patience. Fixing the problem of your Tube-Mate may have a more immediate, and permanent, solution."
"Like what?" Xia was not entirely sure what the Control Brain was thinking. But it seemed to have a plan. "Sym said he can't be recoded for obeying the law. "
"He does not require recoding if he is deleted. "
Xia froze. That... seemed a little harsh. Vero was stupid and a pain... but he was still an Irken...
"Tallest X?"
"You... aren't saying we... kill him, right?"
"There is reason to believe Tallest V is a traitor to the Irken species. He is a Syndicate sympathizer. Multiple recordings have indicated that he is against the war. He has taken unauthorized actions to update his PAK. We believe he has downloaded Zeke articles on multiple occasions." It all made sense, too much sense.
That. Fucking. Traitor.
"What do I need to do?"
"There is a path, an exit that will lead through the Massive'sprison. Take Vero through the cells. On cell block four, there is amaximum-securitydoor. Make sure he enters that section. The rest will be taken care of."
"And what about Sym?"
"What about her?"
"Well, if we are getting rid of the problems on this ship, I don't think she does that much of her actual job. Plus, if you are going to... delete..." the word still made her cringe, "Vero, then won't she be a witness?"
"Sym is a non-threat." The reply was simple enough. "The directions to the cell block are in your PAK. Go with Mothra, Tallest X. And may the Glory of Irk shine through you."
Xia took a deep breath as she headed back into the cramped vents. This was a good thing. Vero had been holding her back since they were smeets. This was her chance to really, truly flourish. If Vero had not been so awful then she would not have had to go this far- so really it was his own damn fault! She poked her head out of the vent area looking at the Irkens below her. "I found an exit! This way!"
"Ugh that seems like a lot." Vero's complaints only strengthened Xia's resolve.
"Just get your ass in here."
Sym was first, elegantly copying Xia's movements she wriggled her way into the vent. Vero managed, somehow, to follow (though Xia heard him fall on his ass at least twice).
The instructions from the Control Brain were clear. She was easily able to navigate until they found another grated exit gate. She wiggled it free and jumped down into a long hall line with cells. There was an electrified force field around each of the little cells. She could see the scourge of the universe, the scum of the Empire huddled in the back if their little prisons. They were despicable. Each and every one.
"So, you have finally come back! Well, you can pump me for all the information you like, Tallests, but you will get nothing from me!" A Vortian male addressed the group as they passed. It slammed its clawed hand into the energy wall, the pincers on its head wriggling in anger. "NOTHING! THE RESISTY LIVES ON!"
"What in Ghidora's name are you talking about?" Xia approached the cell with long, powerful strides and the Vortian retreated back instantly intimidated. It tried to hide its discomfort, through avoiding eye contact.
"You are not the Tallests! N- nevermind!"
"I am the Tallest!" Xia retorted, straightening her posture to emphasize her point. The Vortian slunk back more. It finally spoke again though its voice was meek.
"You... you look different Tallest Red. Is that new armor?"
"Silence you insolent fool! I am Almighty Tallest X! Tallests Red and Purple are dead. You now live under my rule and you will respect and fear me!"
"Y- yes ma'am!" The Vortian winced and Xia took a moment to look at his cell information.
"Now never speak to me again Lard-Nar of Vort. Every moment that I am reminded of your very existence is a moment of my life wasted." She had no time for this. She had bigger things on her plate. She continued walking to the end of the block. Just as promised there was a very large, maximum security door that was slid partially open. She could barely see the electric glow of the forcefield holding whatever was in there at bay. She stopped. "We'll have to go in there."
"Oh hell no, that looks sketchy as fuck." Vero stopped just short of the entrance much to Xia's frustration.
"Your face looks sketchy as fuck." She decided to take a note from Vero's book. He laughed.
"You got me there."
"Look just go ahead, I am going to check the door to find out why it was open. I feel like it should have been fully shut." Xia went to examine the panel beside the door. Vero cautiously stuck his head in taking a moment to peer around.
"Hey is it supposed to be empty?"
"What!?" Xia tensed running to the door with Vero. Sure enough, it looked completely empty. Had whatever-it-was already escaped? Were they all at risk? Xia had to get a closer look but pulled Vero along with her. The cell was completely vacant just an empty bed, chair, and food trays...
Wait a moment...
None of the other cells had a chair in them-
BEEEEEEEEP
MAXIMUM SECURITY BREACH. LOCKDOWN INITIATED.
No no no no no no no!
FUCK!
The heavy doors closed behind them as cells along the walls began opening up. The puny Vort even made an excited cry and scurried away, past Sym who was struggling to get the heavy Maximum-Security doors to open.
"MY TALLESTS!" Sym was trying a series of codes in rapid succession.
"Get this door open Sym!" Xia backed up as she looked at the cell again. The energy shield was down and sure enough the chair was gone. Xia looked over at the information pad that had somehow taken damage in the milliseconds they had been in the room. Blinking in the soft blue lights that made up the information screens were words that made Xia sick:
PARASITE: HIGH THREAT
CONTAINMENT FAILED
"Well this isn't good." Vero remarked, surprisingly not freaking out over being trapped in a cell with a Parasite.
"You think!?" Xia was on high alert, her PAK legs out. She knew she wouldn't be able to hear the Parasite but her antennae may detect its movement. "Why the fuck do we have a Parasite in our prison!?"
"Well I like to think we were trying to make things work with them." Vero had his own PAK legs extended and was poised to attack. He turned briefly back to the door.
"This is no time for fucking jokes!" Something moved. Xia jumped to avoid a large Irken form that had plummeted to the ground. There it was, the Parasite, taking on the form of an Irken though the face had been replaced with a gaping maw lined all the way around in a spiral pattern, with sharp, jagged teeth, a tongue wriggling in the center. Xia made a move to jab it with one of the extended, sharpened PAK legs, her blow going straight for the "head" so to speak but in a lightning-fast response, the Parasite split its own head open, reforming it on the cold metal, trapping the leg in its writhing skin.
Xia detached the leg as the back of the Irken exploded outward and the white and red tendrils lashed about in the open trying to plunge into a supple Irken target. Xia activated the Tallests' gauntlets, they were not just for show, after all, and began to fire burst of energy into the abomination before her. She struck every blow but the creature was undeterred. It healed away the damage Xia caused and those tendrils reared back and lashed forward trying to grab at her. Her PAK legs fought off every blow. "Are you planning to help me Vero or are you content to die knowing that you were truly useless?!"
"Nah, none of that." She hated how despicably calm he sounded despite everything. She wanted nothing more than to see him get his comeuppance as this monstrosity devoured him limb from limb. "I got the door code to get out though."
"What!?" She whirled around and sure enough Vero had perched himself off of the floor along the wall with the security panel. Her distraction gave the Parasite an opening and those piercing tendrils lunged for her but were deflected by PAK legs... Vero's PAK legs. "I... " she was dumbfounded, unsure of what to say. "Get that code and let's get out of here!"
"Yeah, but first," he was still struggling with the Parasite, "I am going to need you to make me a promise."
"Are you fucking kidding me right now." Xia couldn't believe how stupid her Tube-Mate really was. The Parasite was knocked back but instantly up again, Xia and Vero had to dodge as it charged toward the door, it clung to the wall facing forward. Its face warped, the back of the head collapsing and becoming the front of the face giving the Irken form the illusion that its head was on backward, and lunged again toward them.
"No. I want you to promise me, on your word as Tallest X, that you will leave Earth alone."
"No way! They-" Xia cut off as the Irken form of the Parasite ripped in half, more of the tendrils forming from each side, one grazed her gauntlet, leaving blackened goo in its wake. "FINE FINE! WHATEVER! LET'S JUST FUCKING GO!" She dove under the barrage of fleshy tendrils toward the doors which gave a friendly BEEP and slid open just enough for Xia and Vero to get free. Sym helped push the door closed as the small viewing window became completely occupied by the pulsing, tooth lined, spiral, void of a mouth. Xia fell back, trying to catch her breath.
"What a day, am I right?" Vero was lying on his back on the ground, grinning like an idiot. It figured he would be the only Irken dumb enough to be able to botch his own murder. "I can't believe there was a Parasite down there."
"That would be one caught by Almighty Tallest Miyuki. It has been down here for some time." Sym looked back at the door, looking a little pale. "That is M."
"Not a friendly welcome, give M my critiques." Vero finally sat back up. "That whole prison break sounds like a pain and a half of paperwork though. Xixi, you don't mind taking care of all that right?" He winked at her making little guns with his fingers and pointing them in her direction.
"Like hell I am!" She grabbed him by the arm, holding him firmly in place. He may have survived by sheer luck, but she would be damned if she was cleaning up this mess alone while he still drew breath. "Sym, get security to track down the escaped prisoners, increase the defenses around M. I want this place back in working order by the time we reach Graduatia!"
"Yes, My Tallest." Sym nodded and hurried off to... wherever it was she needed to go. Xia just wanted to find the Tallests quarters and put this whole ordeal behind her. She would discuss a different course of action with the Control Brain. Vero had saved her life, after all- though he had been weird about it (as always). There had to be a way simply demote him for being awful.
It took a bit to find the platform that elevated them to the living quarters of the Massive. They had yet to actually see the Tallests' Quarters, save for simply in passing. At this point, Xia didn't care how they looked, she was just tired. She approached the door and it opened. Vero's face lit up and he pounced excitedly on a very large, plush looking cushion in the center.
"I call Dibs!"
"Dibs? Wasn't that the name of that ugly human thing?" Xia didn't really care, but Vero seemed to have developed an unhealthy interest in Earth in general.
"I think so. I'm going to name this cushion in his honor. May he rest with Mothra." Vero patted the cushion on which he had belly-flopped.
"Is he dead to?" Xia sat on a separate, less fluffy cushion, her exhaust overpowering her desire to throw her Tube-Mate out of an airlock.
"Maybe?" His antennae perked up quizzically. "I mean, probably. I like to think he is still out there somewhere, using his freakishly large head as a beacon for lost humans in space."
"Do humans even have space travel?"
"Eh..." Vero shrugged, "probably not, they seem pretty primitive." He continued to roll about of the cushion, seemingly having a great time. Xia no longer had the desire or energy to confront him on his idiocy. There was too much to do. She pulled out her reader, there was a message from the Control Brain. It did not seem particularly upset by the failure, but acknowledged that it had occurred. It was... almost unsettling to read its message directly on her tablet without a sender. It was is if it could freely type on her screen.
XIA. THE DELETION WAS UNSUCESSFUL. WE WILL ANALYZE THE FAILURE AND ATTEMPT IT AGAIN WHEN WE ARE MORE PREPARED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.
That was it, no anger, no sadness, no remorse or fear. Just analysis. Truly they were the perfect beings for ruling-second only to Xia herself- their minds unclouded by emotion.
Xia began paperwork on the prison break as Vero flopped about like a smeet on graduation day. He did not seem worried that moments ago they had almost died. It was a little curious that he was able to override the door... but Vero had always been good with technology. He had been fascinated by it from a young age. In that sense (and also in the sense that he was terrible and useless) he was a bit like defect Zim, who was alleged to have been quite the inventor before his death. Vero seemed to be good with codes and protocol. Shame he was tall, he might have made a good PAK technician, but his short attention span and lackadaisical attitude made for a terrible leader.
"Oh shit, Sym is calling." Vero sat up fumbling to pull a communicator out of his pocket. Xia had not heard it ring, but she rolled her eyes.
"Put it on speaker."
"No~" Vero grinned at her. "I don't want you to hear about my torrid love affair~" He feigned a swooning motion. "Sym and I are passionately in love."
"Oh?" Xia did not believe him for a moment. "She's not your usual type."
"You don't know me. You don't know my life. You don't know how much milk I like in my cereal, Sis, you know nothing." Xia winced at the use of that obnoxious human nickname he had managed to scrounge up.
"And when, exactly, did you start expressing romantic interest in female Irkens, Vero?" She lifted one of her antennae, eyes narrowed skeptically. Vero stuck his tongue out at her and walked into the other room with the communicator. Xia shook her head. It wasn't worth chasing him down. It probably was Sym chewing him out about his gross incompetence. So, Xia went back to her work, she could hear Vero talking a little bit in the next room, nothing weird, just discussing drapes and colors (Rodamnit, he had the fucking interior decorator on the phone, no wonder he didn't want her to hear- she had clearly told him there would be a war first).
BLINK.
Xia shook her head as a flash of light under the plush blankets, wedged deep in the cushion of the bed on which Vero had been rolling about grabbed her attetion. She stood, following the blinking light to see a much smaller communicator. It must have fallen out of his pocket when he was rolling around. It didn't look like any communicator she had ever seen before. It was oddly shaped, made no noise, and only had a small blinking light to let her know there was an incoming transmission. In fact, if she not had such superior ocular implants, she might have missed the light all together. Curiosity got the better of her, cautiously she pressed the button in the center, jumping backward and taking refuge behind a cushion in case this was some sort of trap that Vero had concocted to get her out of the way so he could have all the say in the curtain choice for the Tallests' Quarters. The device trembled for a moment and Xia closed her eyes, covering her PAK and turning away.
But then... nothing.
"Vero?" That voice! That FUCKING voice!? "Vero, are you there? We need to talk." It was their genetic donor- Tallest Red- but how could that be!? He was DEAD!
"Pass phrase!" There was a second voice she didn't recognize. "I made a passphrase for a reason!" She peeked over the cushion. There was her dead predecessor, surrounded by other deceased Irkens (and some she didn't recognize). The speaker was a very small Irken that had not made it into frame. She could only see his antennae. "It could be anyone out there."
"What is the meaning of this!?" Xia came out from hiding, filled with energy fueled by a new found rage that was burning deep within her.
"Xia!" Tallest Red withdrew, looking shocked. "Oh! Xia! Thank Mothra, you need to stop the Control Brains they-" As he spoke, her eyes were scanning the group. In their midst was none other than Defect Zim. This wasn't just a call from the dead- this was a fucking mutiny.
"Shut up old man!"
"Xia, we're still alive. You need to listen to us-"
"Is that supposed to make me feel good!? The only joy I have felt in these past few days is knowing that Almighty Tallest Purple was rotting in the pits of hell and I'm supposed to be happy to see you are all alive?!"
"Okay, wow, ouch." Purple was there too, that Purple fucking bastard.
"Xia, listen to me, you need to reign in the Control Brains. The Syndicate is innocent!" Red was trying hard to use reason, but there was no reasoning with scum.
"Fuck the Syndicate!"
"Xia! We're not dead. You realize what that means right!?"
"It means you are traitors and to betray the Irken Might is worse than to die serving us!" Her head was spinning. She grabbed the communicator in her hand. She reared back, ready to throw it, to shatter it into a thousand pieces when Vero entered, (most likely brought in by the sounds of her angry shouting). She looked at him, her eyes burning with hate.
"Xia!" he saw the communicator in her hand. "I-I can explain."
"Explain in the cells you fucking piece of shit." And with that she threw the communicator to the wall, shattering it against the metal. "GUARDS! TALLEST V IS A TRAITOR! BRING HIM TO OUR PRISONS AT ONCE!" The response time was impressive. Vero had just made it to the door when he was dogpiled by Irkens in all black. He struggled to free himself, but was no match for the surrounding team. As they restrained him, Xia looked down at her Tube-Mate. The struggle with the guards had left his cheeks bruised, but he looked to be in somewhat decent shape. (He wasn't much to look at originally, so the scratches weren't that big of a deal- they would heal in a few moments anyway- so long as his PAK still functioned properly. It did not seem as if the PAK had been damaged.) As their eyes met, Xia glowered. "I should have you executed right now. But you still need a proper trial." That was her payback for saving her life. One more day before justice was brought upon him.
"Xia, please this is crazy! We were raised together! You can't do this to me!" Vero's crimson eyes were wide, they looked wet, as if he were holding back tears. For the first time since Xia had known him, Vero looked truly afraid.
Good.
"Take him away."
"Xia! No! XIA!" She could hear him screaming her name as he was dragged off. Xia took a deep breath. This was for the greater good. The Control Brains had been right about Vero. They were right not to trust him. He would sell out all of Irk for a single corn chip.
Xia threw the door to her quarters open, marching down the hall toward the elevator that would take her back, deep into the bowels of the ship to the Control Brain's room. Her Tallests' robes billowed around her with every step. No one dared meet her gaze. She reached the chamber without interruption.
"Vero was a traitor."
"This was as you feared. It is possible your Tube-Mate was defective." The Control Brain sounded perfectly calm, despite the chaos all around, it maintained complete tranquility. "You were wise to suspect him Xia."
"I... I was, wasn't I...?" She shook herself of any lingering concern for Vero. He had made his bed- six feet under the ground- and now it was time to lie in it. The Control Brain was right, she was wise to have been concerned.
"Things will be able to move more smoothly now that we have a true leader in power."
"That's right," she took a deep breath, calming herself. "I will be able to do a lot more now that I'm in charge."
"Rest now, Tallest X. You have a planet to run, and a trial to put together for your Tube-Mate. Take it easy and relax, you have earned it. Nothing can be done for 24 more hours regardless due to the terrible laws of Tallest Red and Purple."
"You're right..." She nodded heading back toward the exit, "I'm going to relax, then un-make the forty-eight-hour law, and then... then things will change."
"Of course they will, because we have such a brilliant leader."
Xia finally relaxed, heading back up to her room. She had earned this rest. There was no more paperwork tonight. Tomorrow she could undo the chaos on the Massive and finally get the war under way. (It may have been her imagination, but as she passed the Agenda Office, it looked as if Sym was glaring at her. Vero had obviously been lying about their affair as Sym very clearly had been expressing interest in that fry cook Irken- so why was she upset? Xia had done nothing wrong, in fact, she had helped Irk!). The very realization that her leaders had lived and turned traitor made her sick to her squeedly-spooch. It was a lot to process.
She took a different cushion than the one that Vero had named: Dibs... It just... didn't look comfortable anymore.
She took a long, much needed rest. No one could declare war without sufficient sleep, after all. (That was one of Tallest Spork's sayings).
She awoke feeling better, more assured in her position. Ruling alone suited her better. Vero had always been dead weight. She walked calmly back to the Agenda Office. She must have been seeing things with Sym, as the Chief of Agenda didn't seem to be particularly angry with her as she arrived back downstairs. She was at her computers, typing hurriedly. "Good morning, My Tallest. How can I assist you, today?" She looked up.
"Ah yes, Sym, the forty-eight hours has passed so now I can change the legal code again. I need to unmake the forty-eight-hour law" Xia spoke firmly.
"All right..." Sym pulled up the little screen again. "Just sign here and..." Xia signed but Sym had trailed off. "Oh dear..."
"Oh... dear...?" Xia could feel anger starting to stir in her once more.
"I am sorry, Almighty Tallest X... it seems... you forgot to change Vero's status in the system. He is still technically your co-ruler and this law needs his signature to change. It is a simple fix; you just need to bring him to the Control Brain for a recoding." Xia inhaled deeply, calming herself. It was a very simple fix. No need to get mad.
She headed back toward the prison cells. It would be a simple in and out mission. She just had to get Vero's rank changed. He still had to go through his trial anyway. She reached the cell without much issue. "Vero, I know you don't want to hear this but-"
Xia stopped short.
He was gone.
"THAT SON OF A BITCH!"
