It had been a week since Ellis Grey had passed away but to Meredith it seemed like yesterday. She tried to put it to the back of her mind but she got phone calls and cards and letters from people she didn't know and never would, saying how sorry they were for her mothers death. The day of the funeral had arrived and Meredith was dreading it. She had arranged it all herself, not wanting anybody else to do anything. Derek had been her rock and it was at night when she needed him most. The crying herself to sleep, the nightmares and even just the thoughts she had, Derek had helped her through them all. Meredith climbed out of bed and headed straight for the shower. She didn't want to talk to anybody and wanted the day to pass quickly. The water cascaded down her back and lavender soothed her but not much.
'Mere, you want anything?'
'I'm fine,' those two words had passed her lips so often they meant nothing to her or anyone she said them to. They had changed meaning. They didn't mean she was fine, they meant go away, leave me alone. Derek was breaking up inside. He was he one person Meredith turned to but she wouldn't let him in. Meredith stepped out the shower and pulled her black suit on. Looking down at the suit she sighed. The last time she had worn it was to her aunt's funeral.
That's when the thought hit her. She had no family left. Her father was gone, her mother dead and there were no siblings or aunts, uncles or cousins to lean on. She was alone. Meredith dried her hair straight and let it hang freely on her face. Derek was standing in his suit, looking at the window.
The car was there to pick them up. Izzie and George had gone on ahead. Meredith took hold of Derek's hand and left the house, silently. Derek watched as tears rolled down her cheeks. There was no point wiping them away as more came instantly. At the chapel, there were around one hundred people there. Some Meredith recognised as Doctors she spoke to in elevators as a child, others she didn't know at all.
She and Derek sat down the front and watched as people came up and said there piece and told their story about the great Ellis Grey but it all went straight through Meredith. As the service was about to end Meredith stood up and walked up to the coffin. Turning to face everyone she smiled.
'Some of you know who I am, for those of you who don't; I was her daughter, Meredith. I just wanted to say thank you for coming. My mom would have been proud but there's just one thing that I need to say,' She took a deep breath in and braced herself for the reaction to what she was about to say.
'I didn't know my mother and neither did most of you. Yeah you had stories and tales to tell of her but nobody really knew my mother except for one man and he knows who he is,' Richard bowed his head as Meredith made eye contact.
'I watched my mother get to a state where she didn't even know what day it was or year or even who she was. She didn't know me and I didn't know her. You may be wondering why I'm telling you this but I am for the simple reason to say I'm sorry. Sorry that nobody except one man knew who my mother really was. Sorry that I didn't try and get to know her. Sorry that I wasn't the perfect daughter but most of all sorry that I didn't tell her that I loved her before she died. It kills me inside that she didn't hear me say I love you,' Meredith broke down and Derek walked up and wrapped his arms around her.
As she went to sit back down she whispered 'I love you mom,'
Derek guided her back to her seat as the coffin was taken away into the car. Meredith walked behind the car, holding Derek's hand, as it drove up to the grave site. There was a stone already set in place.
'Catharine Hardin Aged 52 beloved Daughter and sister to Ellis. May she rest in Eternal peace with god by her side,' underneath the writing, a new inscription had been made.
'Ellis Grey aged 63. Daughter and Mother. One of the greats. Rest in peace,' it was plain and simple. Meredith didn't know what to have put on the stone. She didn't want her name on it and she didn't want surgeon on it. Meredith hated the fact everyone knew her mother for being a surgeon and not a mother.
'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,' Meredith couldn't take it any longer. Turning away from the patch of ground she fell into Derek's chest and began sobbing. She couldn't take it. Everyone was watching her, wondering if she would just spontaneously break down. Their wish had been granted. Derek held her in tightly and kissed her head.
'It's ok, I'm here…its ok,' Her coffin was placed in the ground and everyone dispersed, leaving a few people by the graveside. Derek and Meredith stayed, along with George and Izzie. As Meredith turned to face the land she spotted him standing by the tree. Leaving Derek's side she ran over to him.
'Richard…' She threw her arms around him and felt his tears hitting her shoulder.
'You always loved her, you never stopped,' Standing up straight he fixed his jacket.
'Meredith, she knew you loved her, even when she wasn't lucid, she knew it,' Meredith nodded her head and turned back to the graveside.
'Come back to the house. It's only a few people and I'd really like you to be there,'
'Meredith…'
'Please, I'd really like you to be there,'
'Ok, I'll see you at the house,' Richard walked back to his car and left Meredith alone. As she looked around the graveyard the wind picked up and started rustling the leaves in the trees. Derek was standing at the car with Izzie and George.
'She we go and get her?'
'No, let her have so time, that's what she needs, nothing but time,'
