Things had been hectic, that was certain. Untrained Irkens nearly blowing one another's heads off every two seconds was giving Voel anxiety. Every moment he watched a journalist Irken and a fast-food Irken try to slap-fight one another, he realized just how outmatched they were going to be.

However, he was willing to take a break from all of that to give himself a moment to recharge. Sleeping was not required, at all, but after his day- he had earned this nap. Therron took like thirty naps in one day, he could have just one.

At least, he thought he could.

But no sooner had his eyes closed and his PAK started to enter sleep mode, when he heard a commotion from downstairs. There was crashing, shouting, lots of angry accusations being tossed around. He grabbed a pillow, plopping it over his head, trying to ignore the noise. Soon the chaos had made its way upstairs and Voel found any chance of peace and quiet he had, was shattered by the unmistakable sound of Zim shouting.

"Voel!" He felt himself being shaken rather aggressively. "Voel get up! This is no time for sleeping!" Voel let out a groan, trying to bury himself further under his pillow. "Voel!" He could feel Zim pulling on him trying to get the pillow away. "Skoodge! Help me with Voel!" Another set of Irken claws dug into the pillow and between the two Smallers, they were able to yank it off.

"For the love of Mothra," Voel grumbled, still lying face down on the floor where he had been trying to rest, "what do you want, Zim!?"

"GIR is missing!" Zim's antennae twitched nervously. "He isn't in the base and I don't know where he is!"

"Okay? So ask CB." Surely, Skoodge had already thought of this.

"He doesn't know either! Someone must have GIR-napped him!"

"I highly doubt that." No one that Voel knew would willingly spend time with GIR.

"So, Voel, if that is your real name," Zim's eyes narrowed as he suddenly changed his stance to one of aggression. "Where were you during the last forty-eight Earth hours!?" A clawed hand poked Voel in the back of his head as he finally sat up.

"I was with you, Zim. You should know this." Zim's eyes narrowed as he looked Voel up and down.

"Yes, yes. Zim remembers this. Very well. Voel's alibi checks out. But SKOODGE!" He whirled around, jabbing a clawed finger into Skoodge's chest.

"I was also with you." The plump Irken didn't bat an eye.

"Ah. Hm. Yes. That checks out too." Zim frowned putting a hand under his chin, looking thoughtful. "Very well: Voel and Skoodge you are both off the hook for the GIR-napping. You are now drafted to be part of the investigation!"

"Hey now!" Voel was finally, fully awake. "When did you start giving orders!?"

"My house." Zim replied simply.

"I- well..." that was a fair point. "Look, Zim, GIR goes missing all the time, doesn't he?"

"Not like this!" Zim looked indignant. "And I found robot parts on the living room floor! This may be more than just a GIR-napping! It might be a..." he paused, "GIRder."

"No one killed your SIR. They're nearly indestructible, remember?" Voel lifted an antenna, skeptically.

"I know, Voel, no one would ever dream of hurting poor, innocent GIR and incurring the wrath of ZIM! But the evidence is there."

"Innocent... GIR...?" Voel repeated dumbly. He looked over at Skoodge who shrugged.

"He's been at this all morning. I think it's just something to do." Skoodge didn't sound concerned.

"You have plenty to do. You both have an army to help train." Voel reminded them both of this, as it seemed Zim had once again lost focus.

"I need GIR for that."

"Do you though?"

"Of course! If GIR isn't there, then who will the trainees chase around? It cannot be Zim! Zim is far too powerful and sneaky!" Zim spoke with such authority that Voel was almost inclined to believe him. "It will make the trainees feel bad about themselves. It would be horrible for moral!"

"Fine." Voel got to his feet. "Let's figure out what happened to GIR."

"First, we need a motive: who would want something to happen to my SIR!?" Zim paced the room, deep in thought.

"Everyone." Skoodge replied without missing a beat.

"Yeah literally everyone." Voel and Therron had made GIR, but the ex-Tallest had really grown to regret it in the passing days. Now that he was trapped in a house with the mad robot, he had a new admiration for Zim. It was a wonder the former Invader wasn't more insane by now.

"We should get started then. Our first suspect is CB! CB!" Zim shouted angrily at his ceiling.

"I thought you already questioned CB." That would have been Voel's first choice as far as a suspect.

"I questioned him only about GIR's whereabouts. Not about his own." Zim tapped his foot looking back up at the ceiling. "CB! Obey your master! Come down here at once!" The hologram shimmered into view, sitting in one of the nearby chairs.

"What is it you need?" The hologram of the AI tilted its head to the side. Zim cleared his throat, hands behind his back.

"CB, dim the lighting, please." The lights in the room instantly began to dim. "Now turn on a central spotlight over your chair." A bright light washed over the chair causing the image of the hologram to become less distinct. "Thank you, CB." Zim straightened up, before lunging full speed at the chair. "WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF THE TWELFTH!?"

"Of which month?" Zim was now standing inside the hologram, having not accomplished much with his assault.

"Glorfog." Zim replied promptly.

"I have not been alive on a twelfth of Glorfog given as how it is still two weeks in our future."

"A likely story." Zim's eyes narrowed. Skoodge stepped in.

"Where were you last night?"

"Everywhere. I am an AI."

"He's got us there." Voel was more amused by the situation than anything else.

"Look, CB, I know we asked you earlier if you knew where GIR was, and you said no. However, being as strong as you are that seems hard to believe." Skoodge was not to be deterred. "We know you can track GIR."

"Typically, I can. However, recently, he covered a live squirrel in nacho cheese and placed it in his chest cavity. The subsequent damages were that it knocked around a lot of the wiring and all of the sensors I use to track him are offline."

"A likely story!" Zim tried poking the hologram in the chest and only succeeded in poking the chair.

"I mean yeah. It kind of is." Skoodge shrugged.

"You're supposed to be keeping an eye on your older brother, CB! But instead you were jealous!" Zim had an 'Ah-ha!' Kind of tone that Voel felt was a little undeserved. "So you GIRdered him!"

"Wait are the robots your smeets or your minions?" Voel had never been quite clear on the relationship between Zim and his artificial companions.

"Both. On Earth: children are synonymous with minions."

"I feel like that's not true..." Voel squinted at him skeptically.

"Oh and you would know that Voel? Your, what, ten months on Earth has made you an expert? Over Zim!? Who has lived on this planet since it was a new fledging rock of molten lava!?"

"That... that is also not true." Voel pointed out. Skoodge patted Voel on the arm, shaking his head.

"Just let him rant. Thirty percent of it is just stuff he makes up, but arguing wastes time."

"So can I go..?"

"You are free... for now." Zim hopped off the chair as CB dissipated from view. "If it wasn't CB, then it had to be someone else I the house."

"We could have CB check security footage." Voel suggested, still wanting to get back to his nap.

"Some of the cameras have been offline since GIR's squirrel escaped and ran amok. I am still working on repairs."

"Right." Voel sighed.

"Who all is in the house?" Zim paced back and forth.

"There is Tenn, Tak visits a lot, then there is Zeke, Vero, and Therron." Voel listed them out as best as he could.

"That is a lot of Irkens. A lot of suspects..." Zim looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Where should we start?" Skoodge seemed content enough to play along with this wild chase.

"Well, if we want to find out what happened and CB is a bust, Zeke seems to be the best option. He's so small and insignificant that it's doubtful even GIR would notice him." Voel looked down to see Skoodge glaring up at him. "What? That's not an insult. It's an observation."

"CB!" Zim cut them off. "WHERE IS ZEKE!"

"I can hear you father. There is no need for yelling."

"WHO IS YELLING!? ZIM IS NOT YELLING!?"

"Zeke is currently on the ground level in the kitchen."

"Right! Away we go!" Zim gestured for Voel and Skoodge to follow as he bounded out of the door and down the hall. Voel could have stayed back, at this point. Zim was so involved in what he was doing, Voel doubted he would care if the ex-Tallest actually came along. Though, now, Voel was actually kind of curious as to how all of this was going to play out.

"CB, if your cameras are offline, how do you know where Zeke is?" Voel questioned, as he followed Zim.

"Not all cameras are offline, first of all." The indignant voice came from all around. "Secondly, I did not use cameras. I traced his PAK."

"Ah HA!" Zim cut off Voel's train of thought once more as he skidded into the kitchen where Zeke was avidly typing while listening to Vero talk. The tiny journalist blinked as the trio burst in.

"Do you mind, pal? I'm in the middle of an interview with Almighty Tallest V. "

"Don't call him that." Voel cringed, recalling that Vero was indeed, technically a Tallest.

"Oh hey! Sup Pops?" Vero gave a little wave.

"Where were both of you last night!" Zim used his PAK legs to leap up on the table between them. Vero simply moved the food he was eating out of the way.

"Pretty much here." Zeke replied flatly. "This has been a long interview. Vero keeps getting distracted."

"I consider it more of a creative embellishment." Vero countered. Zeke glared at him.

"You went on a two-hour monolog about an Irken in the Elite Academy who stole your lunch."

"That is important back story for when I have him imprisoned for life." Vero countered.

"Are you sure your second genetic donor isn't Therron?" Zeke lifted one antenna halfway up with a quizzical expression.

"Oh sweet Mothra, no." Voel shut the idea down as quickly as he could. "Vero is kidding. That's his humor."

"It was a joke?" Zeke looked back to Vero.

"Only if I get in trouble."

"Vero!"

"Yeah, it was a joke." Vero laughed.

"I see..." Zeke looked back down at his reader, deep in thought. "Note: Fact check all statements before publication."

"Rude!" Vero feigned an aghast expression.

"THIS IS ALL DRIVEL! I NEED TO FIND GIR!" Zim made a move to kick one of Vero's snacks but Vero was faster, moving it away before it was damaged. Zeke sighed.

"Yelling and accusing people at random won't find your SIR." He remarked pointedly. "Look, I'm an investigative journalist. I can help you break this case." Voel wasn't sure why Zeke would bother helping. For an Irken the size of a large drink, he seemed to have very little respect for the established hierarchy, so he doubted it was Zim's height that convinced him to assist. "Now who is next on your list?"

"I... hmm..." Zim looked thoughtful, pacing a bit on the table as Vero finally just ate the rest of his snacks in one, fell swoop. "Tenn." He remarked with surprising confidence. "She stole a Syndicate gun, why wouldn't she steal my SIR?"

"I was under the Control Brain's influence when I did that." Everyone jumped as Tenn poked her head out of the ceiling to quickly clear her name. "I don't even remember it to be honest."

"So then why take GIR?!" Zim demanded, standing aggressively on his PAK legs as he confronted Tenn who was hanging halfway out of the ceiling.

"I didn't." She replied flatly.

"You got an alibi then?" Zeke had his little reader up and he was furiously typing away.

"Of course I do. It's iron clad."

"Okay, give it to us."

"Give what to you? My irons? No way they're mine!"

"What?" Zeke blinked. "No your alibi."

"I already did!" Tenn huffed.

"No, you didn't you just said it was iron clad!"

"No no. I mean I was iron clad." She stressed the word as best as she could. "I used that money card the Dib-human had to buy a bunch of iron chains from the human cyber-market. They all came yesterday so I wrapped myself up in them to see if I could escape from them."

"Right that seems logical." Voel nodded. He had also used Dib's money card to buy things he wanted from Earth. Earth had neat stuff. "Did you get out?"

"It was kind of a struggle. Those things are pretty heavy, but yeah I totally did it. It was impressive." She puffed up, looking remarkably pleased with herself. Zeke nodded, thoughtfully.

"Can anyone verify your whereabouts?"

"CB!" She replied quickly. "He was recording my great escape for future generations. At least he was before that weird mammal plowed through the room, leaking orange everywhere. It took out the cameras."

"Ah yes, the cheese covered squirrel." Skoodge didn't seem too surprised by any of this.

"I can affirm that Tenn is telling the truth." CB dropped a little screen down from the ceiling and briefly displayed a video clip of Tenn, struggling under the weight of large, burdensome chains. All at once a wild streak of orange and brown came barreling through the room, crashing into everything. The time stamps seemed to align with Tenn's story.

"Well then obviously the culprit is Therron." As the video ended, Zim seemed undeterred. Voel shrugged.

"Yeah, that seems incredibly likely, actually. We probably should have started with him."

"Ooo!" Tenn dropped fully from the ceiling. "Can I help interrogate Therron? CB taught me this thing called Good Cop- Bad Cop, and I wanna be the Good Cop!"

"You," Skoodge looked at her incredulously, "wanna be the good cop?"

"What!?" Tenn looked offended. "I am good! Good at shooting." She pulled out a gun from underneath the table and did a little roll before taking aim at nothing. She pretended to fire, making little gun noises under her breath.

"I think you grievously misunderstand the concept of "good" cop." Skoodge didn't bat an eye. Vero leaned over, peering under the table where Ten had found the gun.

"There are like five guns taped up under here."

"Those are my emergency guns." Tenn explained, getting to her feet.

"How did I not notice these? I have been at this table for like... a day." Vero sat back up straight.

"OK. Let's talk to big Purple, eh?" Zeke hopped up. "If anyone is ballsy enough to take down the weird SIR under the roof of the absolutely mad Irken planning a large-scale rebellion, it's Therron.

"Therron is outside in the back yard."

"You were pretty forthcoming with that information." Voel mused as they made their way toward the back door.

"I will be perfectly honest: I just want to see Tenn shoot Therron."

"That's why I'm coming." Vero chimed in cheerfully. Voel rolled his eyes. Clearly, being Tallest for a few weeks had done nothing in regards to Vero's maturity.

They found Therron lounging in the back. He had constructed a make-shift hammock using various things around the house (Zim's human neighbors seemed completely oblivious to this despite both ends of the hammock being connected directly to their buildings) and was currently passed out under a magazine covered in weird pictures of humans. Zim took initiative and knocked Therron right out if his comfortable bed and onto the ground. "Hey!" Therron sat up, magazine still on his head. "What the fuck, Zim!?"

"Where is GIR!?"

"Who?" Therron blinked.

"GIR! ZIM'S OLDEST AND MOST LOYAL COMPANION!" Therron squinted at Zim thoughtfully.

"...Skoodge?"

"NO! Not Skoodge! GIR is my SIR!"

"Oh right..." Therron finally seemed to figure out what was going on. "The SIR that Voel and I made out of scraps. I dunno Zim maybe he realized he was made from what I had in my pockets and shouldn't logically be able to function, so he exploded." Zim narrowed his eyes, glaring Therron down.

"That sounds like a CONFESSION!"

"Well, it isn't one. Now leave me alone. I was napping!"

"TENN!" Zim cleared his throat. "You may shoot him now."

"Hold up!" Voel wasn't sure if Tenn would really do it or not, but Therron healing from a gun wound would be wasted energy at this point. "We still need his alibi, don't we, Zim? It will be harder to get one if he's healing."

"Yeah, we can threaten him, but an injured source doesn't give the most reliable information." The fact that Zeke seemed to be speaking from experience raised more questions than Voel thought it answered.

"Fine." Zim huffed a bit, but he backed down. "Where were you last night?"

"If you MUST know," Therton stood, wiping himself off, indignantly. "I was watching human television! Days of Our CSI Special Victims Unit Lives North Montana Emergency Seven, was on last night."

"Oh shit I love DOOCSISVULNME7." Vero clapped his hands together excitedly. "Did Maria finally realize that Chadwick was actually Rudolfo's twin brother?"

"Yes but it's too late. She's already pregnant." Therron confirmed.

"What's pregnant?" Vero blinked

"I dunno, seems to be a human thing." Therron shrugged. "But yeah I was doing that, so I can't have been doing whatever it is you're accusing me of... stealing Zim's socks or whatever. "

"GIR. You GIRdered him. In cold blood!" Zim huffed.

"No I didn't. I was watching TV." Therron reminded him.

"And can anyone verify that?" Zeke raised an antenna, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hmm..." Therron paused thoughtfully. "Well, there were some humans that stopped by."

"Humans?" Voel frowned. "And you just let them in?"

"What! No! I'm not stupid." Therron huffed.

"And you were wearing your disguise...?"

"I..." Therron trailed off. "...yes...?"

"That's a no." Voel sighed, shaking his head, rubbing the area in between his eyes. "And did you know these humans?"

"I mean... how the fuck should I know? They all look kind of the same, you know? Weird? Squishy? Ugly? But they knew Zim. So, they can't have been smart. They were talking about all this stuff and I will be honest I just tuned them all out."

"... right. CB were there any visitors?" Voel might as well ask.

"Unclear. The sensors did indicate the front door was opened but the external cameras were disabled at the time." The hologram materialized on the front porch.

"Because of the squirrel?" Skoodge asked.

"It would appear so. However, I can go back through and sort prior footage, if you desire."

"Better than nothing, I guess."

"Oh. Sorry. Not you. The 'you' to whom I was referring was my father. I only listen to Zim. And then that is really just when I feel like it."

"Ah yes. I forgot. " Skoodge looked far from amused. "Thank Mothra that we are putting the fate of our species in such a reliable Control Brain."

"CB, you may listen to Skoodge too." Zim stepped in.

"Very well." CB seemed content enough. "Analyzing prior footage. One moment please." The lights on the front of the helmet pulsed in a lulling, even pattern. Voel felt suddenly very cold as he was reminded of exactly what CB truly was... for a moment, he was back in the Massive, staring at IX. However, the feeling was fleeting as CB made an excited expression with his visible lower jaw, holding up his index finger triumphantly. "Ah ha! I have uncovered valuable information!"

"Great! Give it to Zim and you MAY become ungrounded if the information is truly valuable!" Zim held out his hand as if expecting the information to be physical.

"Video footage obtained. No sound. However I can confirm that GIR left with a member of the Syndicate." He made a square shape with his finger and thumb on both hands and a small screen appeared. He slowly expanded his hands apart, and the screen grew accordingly. There was a silent image of the fuzzy little black legs of GIR's dog suit as well as the sleek, black uniformed boots of the Syndicate. It seemed as if the video was taken from one of the gnomes in the front that had been knocked over.

"Yes... yes... clearly this is the work of Tak. She can't stand that I continue to be amazing and has GIRdered my SIR to get her final revenge." Zim nodded, knowingly as the screen vanished.

"Are you stupid? That boot was far too big to belong to Tak." Therron interrupted.

"Not if she is trying to trick us." Zim countered.

"Then why wear Syndicate issued boots?" Therron retorted, clearly upset at having been needlessly awoken from his nap. (Voel, in part, understood. However, things were becoming more fun as the story unfolded.)

"Because shut up, Therron." Zim shot back, rather quickly.

"No! Your idea is stupid. It clearly was Captain Rose!" Therron gestured emphatically to a screen that was no longer in existence giving the illusion that he was just gesturing at CB.

"Captain Rose?" Voel shook his head. "The Captain of the Nova stole Zim's robot. Therron that's ridiculous."

"Is it!?" Therron pointed accusingly at Voel. "Is it really!?"

"Affirmative. If Captain Rose had wanted to steal a robot, she would have taken me. I am far more valuable and I have more features." CB protested.

"I mean CB has a point. He's like a hundred and twenty percent more stealable." Zim nodded thoughtfully.

"No no! Hear me out!" Therron brought his hands together. "This is all an elaborate plan! You see: Captain Rose is so madly I love with me that she couldn't control herself any longer! She stole your SIR unit in a desperate attempt to get my attention."

"Why would Captain Rose steal Zim's SIR to get toyou?" Zeke didn't seem to buy into Therron's story one bit.

"Love makes people do crazy things." Therron shook his head.

"Right, well I have sent out a message to all of the Syndicate so I'm sure we'll be hearing from them shortly. This will totally solve our problem!" Tenn put her hands on her hips, putting her communicator back into her PAK.

"W... what did you do?" Skoodge very quickly grew concerned.

"I just told them to all come over because it was an absolute emergency."

"That seems like it was extreme-" Skoodge was cut off by Zim.

"Perfect Tenn! You're very clearly taking this investigation seriously." Zim patted her on the back and Tenn looked surprisingly pleased by the praise. It was odd to think they had gotten to a point where getting a compliment from Zim would actually make Tenn stand proud. She had always been such a high up, strong Invader. She had out ranked Zim even back at the Academy.

"Tak is here." Voel was brought back to the present moment by CB's voice. "Shall I let her in?"

"Does she have GIR?" Zim asked, widening one eye in a suspicious expression.

"She does not."

"Fine. Let her in anyway, I guess." Zim sighed. It wasn't long before Tak made her way out into the yard where all the Irkens were gathering. "AH HA! TAK!" Zim instantly leaped into her face. She jumped back, antennae flat against her head as Zim invaded her personal space. "YOU HAVE COME TO CONFESS YOUR CRIMES TO ZIM!"

"What in Mothra's name are you talking about?" Tak bared her teeth aggressively, trying to get Zim to back off.

"You took GIR!"

"No. I didn't."

"Oh yeah!?" With each word Zim and Tak were getting closer and closer to smacking their heads together. Zeke quickly wiggled between them, holding out his stubby arms to forcibly separate the two before a fight broke out.

"Tak, can you just tell us where you were last evening?"

"I was eating." Tak replied flatly.

"Eating." Zim scoffed. "For that long?"

"Well no." She admitted rather hesitantly. "But I was waiting to get into the Syndicate Dining Hall for quite a while." Tak surveyed the expressions of her fellow Irkens, seeing how no one seemed to believe her, before she gave a sigh. "Look, I was waiting for the Dining Hall to open because on Fridays, the syndicate sometimes has this really good Stra'ala luna-bacon. It goes really good on Earth pizza." She rubbed her forehead, sighing. "But EVERY FUCKING TIME they get some in and it's cooked, Carrius just waltzes his Romulan ass in there and fucking eats ALL of it! But NOT THIS TIME! Not while TAK STILL BREATHES AIR!" Breathing wasn't really necessary for Irkens, so Voel assumed this was hyperbole. "So I got in line and I WAITED until they opened. Then I GOT ALL OF THE STRA'ALA LUNA-BACON! WHO IS LAUGHING NOW CARRIUS!?"

"He... isn't here." Skoodge remarked calmly. Tak blinked, looking around once more before stepping back and clearing her throat.

"Yes, well, probably because he's crying about my brilliant bacon plan."

"That all seems probable" Zeke nodded to Tak. "I've heard other Syndicate complaining about the: 'bacon situation' as they called it. I thought about doing a story on it, but then Vero showed up and I'm not missing a chance to interview a Tallest." Therron cleared his throat. "Relevant Tallest." Zeke quickly corrected, without missing a beat.

"HEY! YOU SPAWN OF GHIDOR'S SHINY A-"

"Captain Rose is here." Therron's insult was cut short by CB.

"Very good, let her in." Zim nodded calmly.

"What's the emergency!?" As she entered the yard, the Captain had her weapon drawn. She shed her human disguise, pointing her pistol at Therron, then Voel, Then CB, then Skoodge, then back to Therron again.

"The emergency is that you stole Zim's SIR in a pathetic attempt to get my attention, Captain." Theron spoke up. Voel visibly saw the Captain's shoulders droop as she rolled her eyes with such ferocity, that her head moved with the motion.

"Not this again."

"Captain, this isn't the way to do things! You are supposed to represent your Empire! You can't chase these fantasies you have of us being together. We're not even biologically compatible. And yes, you are lovely for a Tangean and I am literally constructed in Mothra's own image, but please. It's not a good look on you." Therron sighed dramatically swooning as he spoke.

"I understand." The Captain looked back to Zim. "Your SIR is missing? How long ago did this happen? He was at our base until maybe three hours back. He was... um..." She made a visible face of displeasure, "helping clean the ships."

"Have you seen him recently then!?" Zim pushed Therron out of the way and ran to the Captain. She shook her head.

"No. I kicked him out of the base a few hours back, like I said. I assumed he had come home to you. I thought your AI could track him."

"He has jammed all of his sensors. Also, Dib and Lor have arrived."

"Ah good! Let them in!" Zim nodded. "Therron spoke of a set of humans at some point and Lor is roughly human shaped."

"I mean if you are going to put it like that, we're all human shaped..." Captain Rose pointed out but Zim ignored her as Dib and Lor entered the yard together.

"What happened Zim?" Dib looked genuinely worried. "'I got Tenn's message."

"Where were you last night!? Or-" Zim needed to adjust his line of questions with the revelation that until recently GIR had been accounted for by the Syndicate: "Where were you a few hours ago!?" Zim stood on his PAK legs.

"With Lor." Dib gestured to the medic.

"IS THAT SO!?" Zim whirled around to face Lor.

"I... yes?" Lor gave him a blank expression. "We had some off time and we were going to get lunch since someone ate all of the Stra'ala luna-bacon back at the base." Voel heard Tak give a satisfied little chuckle from behind him.

"Probably Carrius." Captain Rose grumbled to herself.

"So you just happened to go... together?" Zim poked Dib in the chest looking him up and down as if trying to physically see lies.

"Yes Zim. We're dating. You know this." Dib didn't bat an eye. For as uncomfortably large as the head of the human was, there was something to be admired in his courage. Perhaps he didn't find the Irkens intimidating due to his own bizarre defect.

"It hasn't been for long. Zim forgot." Zim waved it off.

"Since before Tak got here..." Lor grumbled.

"So, you didn't answer me: What happened?" Dib crossed his arms, looking down at the Irken, dark brown eyes watching him carefully.

"Someone GIRdered GIR. I can't find him anywhere and there were robot parts all over my floor!" Zim immediately dropped the tough guy act, eyes growing wide and filling with tears. Dib's own expression softened for a moment.

"Hey, you can fix him, come on dude."

"Who would do this though!?" Zim grabbed to the human's legs, burying his head in the fabric of his pants. "Poor defenseless GIR." Finally, he looked up, still sniffling though he had a renewed enthusiasm. "Zim wants REVENGE!"

"I mean... Q, obviously." Dib had a hand on the top of Zim's head in an attempt to be comforting. The Irkens all stopped dead and looked at one another.

"Oh fuck," Voel didn't mean to speak out loud, but his own voice broke the silence. "We really should have started with him.

"I mean first of all: Ouch, I'm offended by that." The inappropriately seductive voice belonged to none other than the Parasite. Voel looked over to see the creature hanging off the wall of one of the two large buildings that sandwiched Zim's house. "Secondly: Yeah, you should totally have started with me." He dropped from the building, floating soundlessly into the yard. "And Third and final point: I am actually innocent this time."

"CB, how did you not alert us to this?" Voel gestured to Q with as much disgust as he could physically muster into his expression. "How long have you been up there."

"Followed the Captain; but, don't blame the bot; I'm hard for any computer to pick up." One of Q's scarf-like appendages reached forward to pat Voel but the former Tallest gracefully dodged away.

"If you so much as look at me funny I will finish what I started back on Xithea." His voice was more of a growl as his eyes locked on those seven, piercing little orbs. "Q did it. He so clearly did it. We should kill him."

"Wow, that is so rude. I literally just said I didn't do it."

"I will give the Syndicate all the monies in the Empire if they will PLEASE put another setting on that invention that lets Q talk." Therron pleaded from the back. Voel didn't like the setting the device was stuck on either. The deep, rich, and warm baritone was ill-fitting of Q in every way.

"All in favor of killing Q?" Voel turned to look back at the others.

"I mean I could do with killing Q." Tenn looked thoughtful.

"I could take or leave his murder, personally." Zeke shrugged.

"Don't get excited, if your species knew how to kill one of us with any degree of permanence, I assume you would have dealt with M long before now."

"Who the fuck is M?" Therron blinked.

"Yeah who is-" Voel was cut off. (This was becoming common place with all of these Irkens gathered around).

"Carrius is here... and um... father... GIR is with him."

"Eh?" Zim blinked.

"GIR appears to be with Carrius, unharmed." As CB spoke, GIR came rushing in, screaming excitedly as he ran around Zim a few times before plopping in the grass.

"HIYA MASTER!"

"GIR where have you been!?"

"Ahh I'm sorry Master! It was PIZZA NIGHT!"

"What is the meaning of this PIZZA NIGHT!?" Zim demanded, lifting the SIR up off the ground, the hood of its unconvincing dog suit falling off. The SIR laughed maniacally before smiling, its tongue poking out of its mouth.

"Ah, sorry that was me." Carrius had finally made his way in. "I was coming over to your place to see if Vero or Therron wanted to grab a pizza from Bloaty's since they have a special going on right now; my brother is busy, and someone ate all the fucking Stra'ala luna-bacon in the Dining Hall. But when I got here, I found this little guy outside and he said he was starving. Let me tell you, your bot can definitely pack away the slices. I'm impressed."

"He just puts them in his storage spaces." Zim opened GIR's chest cavity and a bunch of mashed up pizza flopped onto the grass.
"NO MY ORGANS!" GIR cried, but immediately began laughing, wiggling free of Zim to roll in the mush, spinning around on his head.

"Still impressed." Carrius gave a slight shrug.

"But this doesn't add up." Zeke was thoroughly unsatisfied with the ending. "What about the robot parts that Zim saw!? What about the humans that Therron reporting having seen!?"

"Oh, I dunno about them. Like I said I just ignored them and left. They'll tire themselves out." Therron replied dismissively.

"You didn't let them in the base, right Therron?" Voel's eyes narrowed. Therron's own eyes widened and he looked thoughtful.

"I mean..."

"THERRON?"

"... I think I closed the door?"

"THERRON FOR THE LOVE OF-" The door to the house flew open and a robot rolled on its singular wheel out of the house. It had clearly seen better days, it was missing an arm, and several gears from what Voel could determine from its rudimentary construction.

"FOODIO WISHES TO DESTROY! DESTROY THE WALLS OF MAN!" Two humans were chasing it down, both wearing Syndicate uniforms. The male had an uncanny resemblance to Dib, though the head may have been slightly more normal in size.

"Mom! Dad!" Dib had jumped back. "What the fuck!? I thought you were still working back at the base!"

"Oh hi Junior!" The woman smiled, standing tall as the man lunged forward and tackled the robot to the ground as it tried to squirm away. "We were but, you know how it is."

"How WHAT is?"

"Foodio has tasted human blood, son. Now we must calm his rage." The man replied from the ground. "Just some simple-" he heaved his weight to pin the bot down, "reprogramming and we can get him back online."

"FOODIO WILL MAKE A DELICIOUS AND HEALTHY MEAL FROM YOUR STILL BEATING HEART!"

"My heart would taste terrible, foolish robot! It has cybernetic enhancements!" The man retorted as he moved his head back in order to stop it from being trapped by a little door in the robot's central body. "And metal is BAD. FOR. FLAVOR!" He managed to pin the robot face down.

"CB! DO SOMETHING!" Dib looked to the AI's hologram.

"But you will get upset."

"No! No I won't I'm not mad at you anymore CB! HELP THEM!"

"Activating defenses." Metal arms came from the house and pulled the larger, male human off of the robot. The metal arms then wrapped around the robot and surged with energy. The primitive Earth bot trembled for a moment before powering down.

"Ah, thank you Alien AI that is friends with my son." The man picked up the robot. "We'll get this fixed up soon enough."

"This isn't something I am going to come to expect from your work, is it, Professor?" The Captain was standing, weight on one leg, her arms folded over her chest, one eyebrow arched. "Because you came highly recommended by my top scientist."

"Top... me?" Dib suddenly looked as if he was ready to cry.

"No no, alien Captain that was pretending to be my son's science teacher."

"Captain Rose... it's... not that hard." She shook her head.

"This was a fluke." The woman stepped in.

"Usually our stuff explodes, turning evil is like... a ten percent chance at best." The man waved her concern away.

"If... Dib is not mad at CB any longer... then..." Zim ignored the chaos, and instead went to Dib. "does that mean...?"

"I'm not mad at you either..." the human sighed. "At least... not as much. A lot of shit's been going on, Zim. I don't think I can hold a decision you made in desperation against you...too much." He added that last bit with a trace of hesitation. "Look, I talked with Gaz and it got me thinking... it's not like you brought the AI back in its entirety... I can't... I can't hate you... What you did was wrong," his tone was a little more severe "and I need you to acknowledge that."

"It... it was. Zim is sorry. Very sorry. If there had been another way-"

"BUT," Dib continued, unabashed. "At the end of the day, you're still my best friend."

Voel was happy for Zim. Everything seemed to finally be settling down on Earth. (Except for that weird thing with the robot tasting human blood and going on a rampage- but the Syndicate and CB seemed to have it under control). He was keen to give Zim his moment to reunite with his human, so he surveyed the conglomerate around him. It seemed Vero had suddenly stepped away. He was standing off to the side, staring at an empty wall. Voel carefully made his way over. "Vero...?"

"Yeah..?" Vero answered, but Voel didn't like the way his voice shook. Quite suddenly, his voice had been drained of its humor.

"Are you okay...?"

"Not... really..." Vero rubbed his own arms as if cold. The atmosphere around was far from a chilly one, especially for Ikens, so Voel grew increasingly worried.

"Wh... what's wrong...?"

"I..." Vero's voice cracked. He finally looked over; he was smiling but it was the most grief filled smile Voel had ever seen. "I can't... sense the Massive anymore. I... Xia... she... she fucking did it."


Things are getting real- the Irken Rebellion finds themselves in a time crunch. I hope you guys are ready!

ANND QUESTION OF THE DAY! Who do you think is the most vile of our team of villainous scourge: Q? Xia? Or M?