"I move my Massive forward three spaces. I corner your Armada Commander and demand you retreat." Xia lazily shifted her make-shift model of the Massive forward. "Victory is, once again, mine." She had her cheek in her hand, looking overall rather bored.
"But... the rules you laid out at the beginning of the game state that I would win this fight..." Ven looked at his several models still on the game board, obviously perplexed by Xia's brilliance. "My commander still has ally ships within reaction distance. Isn't that combined power enough to take down your one Massive?"
"You'd think, but remember, my pieces are far superior to your own. You'd need at least ten of your petty warships to take down my amazing force." Xia reminded him. Ven looked at the board, then back up at his leader.
"I have twelve."
"Did I say ten? I meant fifteen."
"Ah." He seemed satisfied. "You defeated me again, Almighty Tallest X. You sure are amazing at this game you invented."
"I didn't invent the game, Gen." Xia sighed, pressing her two fingers against her forehead in frustration. "This is Irken Strategy 0162. You must have played it a thousand times at the academy."
"I must have played... a different version."
"This version is the only one I know." Xia scoffed at his idiocy. Normally, she wouldn't lower herself to playing smeet-games with an Irken who was not even old enough to have begun his Elite shadowing. However, things had become more complicated, as of late. Ven was the only Irken on the ship that was not currently occupied by IX. And IX wasn't much for conversation.
Or games.
Or fun.
M pushed one of the pieces on the side of the map forward toward Ven's side of the board.
"For the last time M," Xia dragged her hand down her own face in exasperation. "You aren't playing. We don't even know what you're saying." The Parasite looked a tad indignant as she pulled out the little tablet that Xia had given to her and began typing away.
"I have this." Words were read off the tabled in a monotone, synthetic voice.
"Yes, but you don't even know how to play the game!"
"Actually," Ven piped up, "I think that move would have destroyed me."
"No it wouldn't Rex, because you're still an Irken and you get bonuses for that."
"I... do?" He looked back at the rules Xia had painstakingly written out for him.
"Of course you do. It's not that hard to play!" This was getting annoying. Why couldn't they just understand clear-set rules the way other Irkens did. They sounded like Sym with how much they were questioning her game-play. At least Vero knew how to play correctly. It was like his one good quality, but he had to betray the Empire and leave Xia with a bunch of noobs.
"No one understands these rules." M complained through her little text-to-voice that Xia had so graciously gifted to her. "They don't make sense."
"They make perfect sense, you're just stupid."
"I dunno, My Tallest... I hate to agree with M because she's scary, but I don't think I get this game at all." Ven looked guilty at the confession.
"I had such high hopes for you as Rising Tallest," Xia shook her head, "but if you can't even comprehend a simple game, then I'm afraid those hopes were misplaced."
"Ah! No!" Ven's antennae perked up, he looked completely frazzled. "Not at all! I'll figure it out my Tallest! Give me just a bit longer!"
"I don't suppose you want to join us for our next game, Control Brain?" Xia looked over her shoulder at the vacant eyed form of Sym who was currently filling in for one of the Navigators M had... dealt with. It was weird, Sym had never been a Navigator- but Xia realized that probably didn't matter anymore. There was no Sym.
At least... she was quieter like this.
"That will be a negative, My Tallest." The voices of all the Irkens around her spoke in complete monotoned unison. Xia had tried to numb herself to the unsettling feeling this response would give, however nothing seemed to work. "I do not require entertainment. I will continue to navigate us back to Irk so that you may continue the war protocol."
"See Ulf?" She gestured to Ven, "see how smoothly things run now? No more stupid rules, no more obnoxious interruptions, no more tossing Irkens out of the airlock. We are finally running like the well-oiled machine that Mothra intended."
"If you... insist..." Ven shuddered as he looked around.
"Of course I do."
"Tallest X... are you going to make me like that?" Ven hesitated for a moment before looking to her for an answer.
"Oh Mothra no, you're Rising Tallest. You need to be here to learn." Also, this little trainee was about the only real conversation Xia had. The Control Brain had little to say other than dry facts, and talking to M was a fucking chore.
"Good... I... really feel like that isn't something I want."
"They are not hurting, little smeet. They feel no pain. No fear." The Control Brain made a compelling argument, though it seemed to have the opposite effect on Ven, who drew closer to Xia, as if expecting her to pull out her battle ax and jump to his defense. "In fact they feel nothing at all."
"Perfect Irken soldiers. This is how we win, Archy!" She probably should try to learn this Elite's name since he was currently her only companion, but despite that fact, Xia still couldn't bring herself to be bothered. He wasn't even that tall yet. Sure, he shared the same two donors as Vero and herself, and his projected height was great- but the kid was a late bloomer (Vero had been too, to be fair- though any similarity to Vero was an automatic negative trait).
"His name is Ven, isn't it?"
"You know my name?" Ven seemed taken aback by M, interruption. Clearly, he realized that questioning the Tallest was against all common decency.
"It doesn't matter, M. What matters is what I want to call him."
"You know my name."
"Your name is one fucking letter, it's not that hard."
"Well actually, my name is..." she began squinting all seven eyes at the little tablet, "oh I can't make anything close to the right sounds with this alphabet... just know that 'M' isn't my actual name. It's just the closest you single-tongued species can get to pronouncing it."
"Wait... how many tongues do you guys have?" Ven asked cautiously.
"As many as we need."
"I don't... think I like that answer."
"Drax, stop playing with M, we still have so much to do." Xia snapped her fingers together. "She needs to be focusing on... whatever it is she does on this ship."
"Mostly I just watch TV and eat in the prisons."
"See important things." Xia stood up. "Now we need to start thinking about important matters. I'm talking battle plans! We need to construct the perfect strategy to hit the Syndicate where it hurts the most: Capitol Planet."
"With all due respect, Almighty Tallest X," The Navigators were all staring at her despite the fact that their hands seemed to flawlessly operate the controls. "We Control Brains have already constructed the military plans."
"O-oh?" Xia blinked. "Y... you have, have you?"
"A tallest should not be burdened with such trivial tasks when they have a world to lead."
"I would hardly call strategizing for a war to be a trivial task, Control Brain."
"My Tallest, your expertise is clearly needed to guide the Irkens that are still on our beautiful home planet. We do not wish to overburden you and risk burn out."
"Yeah... but it's a war."
"We can handle little details. You simply need to focus on the big picture."
"How is the actual battle plan not the big picture?"
"Trust us, My Tallest, in the grand scheme, the battle plans are simply meaningless. History does not remember the strategy; it remembers the leader."
"R-right. I knew that, of course." Xia cleared her throat, pacing forward. She didn't like the way that M was smiling at her, those seven crimson eyes boring into her. "Though I am sure we'll start with Capitol Planet- make a statement."
"Capitol Planet will be too well guarded. Attacking outer worlds and cutting off supply routes will be the ideal course of action."
"Sure, if you want to be obvious about it." Xia rolled her eyes. "Where is the fear though? The punch!? They murdered our leaders, Control Brain!"
"This has the highest probability for success."
"Well yes but-" She cut off seeing M was absolutely enthralled with watching them argue. She had her chin in her hands, her smile cutting her face in two with how wide it had grown. "What exactly are you staring at? Don't you have TV to watch?"
"This is perfectly acceptable entertainment."
"How? You can't eat my misery. I'm Irken."
"Still funny."
"Ugh! Control Brain," Xia would try to shoo her away, but she wasn't entirely sure that M would listen. (Xia chalked this up to being a part of the language barrier, because if M truly did understand who she was and all that it entailed, she would be falling over herself to serve Xia's every whim). She didn't want to risk being undermined in front of Ven, so she chose to ignore the Parasite. "How much longer until we reach Irk?"
"We are very close now, My Tallest. In fact," The screens in the Navigation Chambers began to lift and Xia saw her beloved home planet floating in the distance, the deep purples and reds that were ablaze under the two suns of Irk. How she had missed it. It had not even been long since her last visit- though- it had been with Vero.
This time she would walk the familiar grounds alone.
"So that's Irk?" The annoying, synthetic voice on M's app broke Xia's reverent silence. "Looks pretty basic, if you ask me."
"No one asked you." Xia retorted flatly. "And why do you sound like you've never seen it before? It's Irk. Surely you've studied it."
"Studied? What like in little Parasite school?"
"Do they have that?" Ven asked excitedly.
"No. That... that's not a thing. We... we don't even have a home planet; we are literally made to survive off of other species. We learn by harvesting knowledge already engrained in the minds of our food. Why would I go to school? Why would I have any knowledge of Irk a planet where I can't even eat the inhabitants- at least not anymore." M sounded rather offended at being called out for her obvious ignorance.
"Anymore?" Ven asked hesitantly.
"She's lying, Veer. The Irkens have always been superior to the Parasites. They have never gotten to feast on our juicy emotions." Xia scoffed. How could Ven be so blind as to fall for such obvious bait from M?
"Not at all. The Irkens were once deliciously easy pickings for Parasites, of course Q had this quadrant way back then. However, after you guys started with the PAKs, that's when things got more complicated for us, feeding wise."
"Irkens have always had PAKs, you idiot."
"N... no. They really haven't. Back in the old times you guys were a lot less aggressive too, and you certainly didn't have this weird height-based-hierarchy." One of M's tendrils sprouted from her back and snagged a bag of chips from the table. "No PAKs. No Collective. No Cont-" The little tablet she was holding suddenly began to short out. M dropped it quickly, reeling back and quickly taking an aggressive stance. Xia looked at the tablet, shattered on the floor.
"You broke it."
"We will need to get Parasite M a new communication device. It seems her current one had a sudden, unavoidable error. She will need to be more cautious in the future." The many voices of the Controlled Irkens spoke in a collective calm.
"Stupid M doesn't even know how to handle electronics because she didn't go to Parasite school." Xia gave a frustrated groan. M would need to focus as this war started to get underway. She couldn't have a Chief Interrogator that failed even the most basic of tasks. Xia looked over to see M glaring at her. "I don't mean that you're actually stupid, M, you're just bad with technology and that isn't your fault. You're a Parasite."
"We are nearly at the landing bay, My Tallest."
"Excellent. M, take an Irken form, will you?" Xia glanced back at her. For a moment M continued to stare her down. "M, my Chief Interrogator, please can you take an Irken form?" Still nothing but an icy glare. "M, brilliant Parasite, future Interrogator for the Irken people: your natural form will alarm the masses due to the fact that it is designed to do just that."
Their eyes met for a moment, and Xia was suddenly less sure of herself. However, M simply smirked and the tension eased.
Finally, M took a Irken form and relief swept over Xia. She had no desire to confront M and cause a scene with how thoroughly and swiftly she would best the Parasite. She gestured for Ven to follow her as she walked forward, taking a powerful stance overlooking her home planet. "Control Brain, ready us for landing."
"I am doing so already."
"Excellent, you're even better than the usual crew. You know what I want before even I do." She chuckled to herself. "It's wonderful, isn't it Steven? We're on a ship that can actually fucking turn around!" Ven looked back over at the Controlled Irkens and then hurried a little closer to Xia as if afraid they would somehow infect him.
"If you insist, My Tallest."
"Of course I insist." She watched as the planet drew ever closer. "Soon we will be home. The Irkens of the planet throwing themselves at our- mostly my- feet. It is a life you will enjoy, maybe never- because my reign might last till the end of time, but you can enjoy it by proxy."
"I haven't been home since I left for the Academy!" He did seem excited. And between M's little speech app speaking in electronic monotone and the complete lack of emotion from every Irken under the Control Brain, Xia found herself a little more lenient toward her trainee than perhaps she should have been. Maybe the proper thing to do would be lecture him for misplaced enthusiasm. But it was nice to hear any emotion at all. "You think we can stop at a vendor and get food or...?"
"We don't stop at vendors, Billy, we are the Tallest and Tallest Rising. Food is brought to us." She realized this smeet had a lot to learn still. And it was incredibly likely, she now knew after the game, that he might actually be stupid like Vero.
"Right, of course." He nodded quickly, bracing himself for the ship to dock. There was no need to brace, however, as the Massive slid flawlessly into bay without so much as a shudder. Xia headed to the exit, Ven at her side with the Controlled Sym and M tailing behind her like an odd sort of body guard duo. M's Irken disguise was eerily convincing, this time she was tall, red eyes and long, curled antennae. She kept herself properly shorter than Xia, but easily could have shared one of her genetic donors based on her appearance. Xia was pleased to see M had used her as a reference. She disembarked from the Massive into the eager throngs of Irkens that awaited outside. Mostly these were media Irkens and a few of Red and Purple's old advisors that she had willingly left on Irk.
"I have returned, with a very importantly announcement." Xia stood tall, voice loud, commanding attention.
"This is not the place, My Tallest." Controlled Sym spoke very calmly, a hand on Xia's shoulder. "Media, our Tallest needs to give a speech that must reach every Irken. Have things ready as soon as possible for this to be accomplished."
"Of course!" The media Irkens scattered like particles of dust in the wind. It was almost comical how fast they cleared out.
"I have to give a speech?" Xia had wanted this done quickly.
"It will be for the best that the Irkens hear of the impending war directly from you. Their cardiac-spooches need to be pumped full of inspiration."
"Ugh, sometimes it can be so frustrating to be this inspirational." Xia understood the need to gaze upon her and listen to her commands, however, every moment wasted risked the Syndicate gaining some sort of upper hand. (Though it was doubtful that it would matter in the long run; a weak government like the Syndicate stood no chance against the Irken Empire.) "But I suppose I can give an awe-inspiring speech to the masses to get their blood boiling for war." She turned to head down the halls and out of the landing bay, Ven had her hungry after bringing up that suggestion about the vendors. She could use some food.
"Almighty Tallest X?" She was stopped by a soft, soothing voice that she had not expected to hear.
"Mothra Elite Dae?" Xia was taken aback as she turned to see the all-white Irken having just exited one of the many doors that lined the halls. "Why are you in the city? Don't your people... not... do that or something?" Xia was never much into the spiritual side of the Irken people. Mothra was great and all, but the power typically lay with other gods. And Mothra was really more of a legend, In Xia's opinion. Irkens were better off putting their focus elsewhere.
"We do live in cities now a day. The wilds have been uninhabitable for quite some time. It was... on the agenda?"
"The what now?"
"The Agenda? Sym had promised she was going to discuss the situation with you. Red and Purple- be they with Mothra in peace- were supposed to start on a protocol to clear out some of the wildlife so the farmers and ourselves would be able to inhabit the city outskirts more safely." Dae seemed to be confused by Xia's presence, perhaps she was just overwhelmed by it. Having been forced to work alongside Red and Purple for so long, Xia would understand how talking to someone competent might throw her off her guard.
"No offense to you or your Elite, Dae, but aren't there only like... twelve Mothra Elite? Our leaders were murdered, this can wait."
"There are currently only eight of us- but the farmers-"
"First I'm hearing of it." Xia replied honestly, folding her arms. "If the farmers had a problem, why go to the Mothra Elite over the Tallest?"
"Proximity, I would assume. You are on the Massive more than you are on Irk. We live on the planet." Dae replied, her head bowed in respect, from beneath the sheer veil, Xia could see those pale, blue eyes were cast downward.
"Aren't the Mothra Elite notoriously reclusive?" She narrowed one eye skeptically. Most Irkens could go their lives without ever seeing one in person, here she had run into the same Elite twice. And now she was hearing that small Irkens, such as farmers, were just chatting up these supposed hermits? It seemed unlikely in the grand scheme.
"We have been around more since the murders, offering counseling to those who are in need. This is all in the messages I have been exchanging with Sym," Dae finally looked up, over Xia's shoulder directly to the Controlled Sym. "She stopped responding to us rather suddenly. I was concerned something had happened to the Massive."
"Your messages were simply of low importance. My apologies, Mothra Elite Dae, but under the current circumstances our resources are of better use elsewhere." Despite the fact that it was very clearly Sym's voice speaking, Xia was still left a little uneasy seeing the Control Brain interact with other Irkens. Dae did seem a little uncomfortable with the complete monotone, it was pleasant in the synthetic voice of the brain, but coming from Sym it came across rather... uncanny. "Was there something else you needed to discuss? Our Tallest is rather busy at the moment seeing as how there was recently a political assassination as well as the abduction of Almighty Tallest V." The Control Brain gave a sweet smile with Sym's face.
"N... no that was all." Dae seemed completely taken aback, though she may have just been uncomfortable with seeing Sym look anything other bitter.
"Very well then." Sym continued to smile politely. Bowing a tad stiltedly toward the pale figure, she gave a dismissive wave. "Our Tallest must be off."
"A Mothra Elite..." Ven was staring wide eyed as if the Goddess herself had just descended from one of the many moons and bestowed an ancient wisdom upon him. "We really don't have time to help her? The Mothra Elite are the spirit of our community."
"Greg," Xia gave him an annoyed look, "Tallest V's been kidnapped and we're about to declare a war. I don't think this is the fucking time."
"Tallest X speaks wisely, little smeet." The Control Brain confirmed her statement to be fact and Xia smirked proudly. "There is still much to be done before our Tallest gives her speech, and the War Protocol gets underway."
