Whaa? An update? Finally! I'm so sorry for the huge delay. I hit a big writer's block and I had to edit a whole bunch of stuff. To make up for it, this chapter's extra long! So enjoy!
And a special thanks to mnpblackburn for favoriting the story! Welcome! :D
Chapter 27
They spent every available moment together. He took her to her practices at the church and, when she didn't have class, he would go pick her up and they would spend the day together. On Saturday night, the last practice before their service at 9:00 on Sunday, they were walking back to his truck when she reached for his hand,
"Thank you for coming with me."
"No problem, it was nice hearing you sing. I haven't heard it in eighteen months."
She smiled and nodded but, as he looked at her, he could tell there was something on her mind. When they got back to her dorm, he cut off his truck and looked at her. She was looking out of the window and he knew something was wrong. Her hand was in the seat and he reached for it,
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." He nodded, not fully convinced, but not wanting to press her,
"Okay, just making sure." She nodded and they were silent for a minute before she turned back to him,
"You won't be gone for another eighteen months this time, will you?" Her expression was sad as he shook his head,
"No, I won't be gone for that long ever again; it'll only be half that time from now on."
"Good, because, honestly, it almost killed me." He looked at her and she continued,
"I know I sounded all happy and wonderful in my letters, but I was actually a wreck. I cried for four hours straight after you left and my parents had to basically carry me out of the airport. I cried every night for three months straight after that. I thought about you all of the time and wished that you were here with me. I knew that what you were doing was important and I was, and am, so proud of you but, still, I wished every day for eighteen months that you were here with me…I don't know, maybe it's selfish."
"It's not selfish; I'm an attractive person, I understand completely." She smiled and slapped his arm, playfully,
"Can you not do that? I'm being serious." He smiled,
"I'm sorry, but listen; you don't have to worry anymore. These are the last nine months and then I'm out. I'll be done and I'm going to be back for good, right here with you."
"Do you promise?" He smiled and leaned over the seat and kissed her. He pulled back and put his forehead to hers and stroked her cheek,
"I promise." She smiled and kissed him again. She brought her hand up to his face and he scooted closer to her. They kissed for a couple of minutes before she told him goodnight.
The next morning, he and his father went to church. They sat in the third row, right in the middle of the sanctuary where his father sat every Sunday. At 9:00, the lights dimmed and the music got underway. The male singer, Alex, walked up to his microphone and asked everyone to stand up and sing along with them. Everyone followed his instruction and stood up. Ben saw Allison walk up to the other microphone and smiled; it was the first time he had seen her on the stage with all of the lights and everything from the perspective of someone in the congregation.
Alex sung both of his songs well and, though Ben didn't know them, the words were on the screen and he tried his best to sing along. When Alex was done singing, he said that everyone sounded good and to say hello to someone sitting near you. He turned around and said hi to someone behind him and, when he turned back around, he saw Allison staring at him from up on the stage. She waved and he smiled and waved back to her. Then the drums started and they got back underway.
He watched her as she sang and, again, he couldn't help but smile, thinking how natural and calm she looked. She would glance at him and smile occasionally but, for the most part, she had her eyes closed. She sang her songs perfectly and, when she was done, led the congregation in prayer. When she was done praying, she smiled and thanked everyone for singing and told them they could all have a seat. As they walked backstage, she turned around and smiled at him. She smiled back at her as the lights dimmed and they showed a video.
The preacher preached for about forty minutes. It was good, as usual and Ben felt he really connected with the congregation. The message spoke to Ben more than it usually did. He preached on worry and how worry always makes sense to the worrier, even when it didn't to other people; if it didn't, they wouldn't be worried about it in the first place.
It spoke to Ben because, lately, he had been worrying and knew, as these two weeks drew to a close, that he would begin to worry. The preacher said to bring all of your worried and fears to God and he would take care of the. He said to have faith and trust in the lord and that's exactly what Ben planned to do.
When he was done preaching, he asked the congregation to pray with him. After he was done praying, he thanked everyone for coming and he walked off of the stage. .As everyone began to file out, Ben and his father stood up and started to follow. Ben looked up at the exit and saw Allison slip out. He smiled and finally reached the exit and walked into the lobby, looking for her. He didn't see her and then he happened to look out of one of the windows and saw her standing outside.
"Hey dad, I'll meet you at the car."
"Okay, take your time." He face his dad the keys and headed through the door. As he got closer, she looked over at him and smiled. He went over to her and hugged her and gave her a kiss,
"Good morning."
"Good morning."
"So, how did I do?"
"You were wonderful; you were definitely strutting your stuff." She smiled and laughed,
"'Strutting my stuff?' That's an interesting choice of words there."
"Thank you. But, really, you were amazing." She smiled again and reached up and kissed him,
"Thank you. Well, I better be heading back in there, I just wanted to come out here and see you."
"I'm glad you did. Do you want me to stay for the second service, too?"
"No, you go ahead home with your dad. I'll come over later when I'm done if that's okay." He smiled and nodded and leaned in and kissed her,
"That's perfect." She smiled and kissed him again before telling him bye and going back in the church.
Him and his father stopped by the Harris Teeter and picked up a couple of packs of steaks. They got home at 11 and his father instantly got cooking. While Ben was outside grilling the steaks, his father was inside baking the potatoes and microwaving some corn on the cob. While he was standing on the deck grilling the steaks, he heard a car pull into the driveway. He looked down at his watch and saw that it was 11:30.
The music at the church usually lasted for about twenty-five minutes and it took about fifteen minutes to get to his house from the church. He doubted it was Allison's car he heard pull in the driveway, so he put down the tongs and went inside to see Matt standing in the kitchen with his father. When Ben came inside, Matt turned to him and smiled,
"Hey, Ben, how's it going?" Ben smiled and went over and shook his hand, then gave him a quick hug.
"Hey, Matt, I'm good, how about you?"
"I'm good. You're probably wondering what I'm doing here, right?"
"Yeah, just a little bit."
"Do you think we could talk in private?" Ben suddenly got nervous and he turned to his dad,
"Hey dad, can you handle the steaks for me? They're almost done."
"Sure."
"Thank you," He turned back to Matt,
"Here, let's go in the living room."
They walked in the living room and Matt sat down on the couch and Ben in the chair across from him. Matt brought his hands together.
"I was transferred down here to Seymour Johnson." Ben nodded, thinking that this wasn't really something to talk in private about.
"Well that's good, isn't it? You're back in the states, closer to your wife and kids." When Ben said 'wife and kids' he saw Matt flinch and Ben knew bad news was about to follow. Matt didn't say anything at first, but finally shook his head,
"My wife filed for divorce." Ben raised his eyebrow,
"What?"
"She told me she couldn't do it anymore; that while I'm away, she's dying slowly inside. I guess I never realized how hard it was for her, she's had to basically be a single parent and raise the kids by herself. I see them two weeks every nine months. You know that's basically two weeks of the year; fourteen out of 365 days. Anyway, I tried calling her to try and convince her to change her mind but she wouldn't." Matt shook his head,
"The part that gets me is that their life isn't going to change much at all. I'm gone for nearly the whole year so their life is going to go on basically how it's been going on. I'll get to see them when I go on my leaves, but it won't be the same. She'll probably remarry and the children will have someone who will be in their life every day. That's probably the only positive thing that'll come out of this." He took a little break, then went on,
"It's probably a good thing. They'll have a full-time father instead of a part time one." Ben got up and went and sat beside him on the couch,
"You're still their father, that's never going to change. Even if she does remarry, that guy is never going to be able to replace you as their father."
"Yeah, you're right." Ben nodded and they were quiet for a minute before Ben remembered something,
"Wait, aren't you getting out in a couple of months? Your time's almost up." Matt shook his head,
"I'm in for another four years."
"What? You re-upped again? Last time I talked to you, you couldn't wait to get out-" Matt shook his head, interrupting him,
"I didn't re-up."
"Then how are you in for another four years?"
"Do you remember before you left, I told you that I had heard that they were going to select random guys to say in for another four years?" Ben nodded, already knowing what Matt was going to say.
"Well, it's true. They announced it the day after you left. They're releasing four lists over a period of who knows how long. They released it that day and I was on it." He shook his head,
"I'm sorry Matt."
"It's okay. But that one decision the Air Force made cost a man his marriage." Matt looked at him,
"I know what you want to ask; don't worry, you're not on the list. But watch out because they still have three lists left." Ben nodded again, praying silently that he wouldn't be on those lists. While he was thinking about it, Matt put his hands on his knees,
"Well, I better get going; I have to get back to the base." They both stood up and Matt reached in his pocket and pulled out a letter and handed it to him,
"Oh yeah, I have something for you. It's from Tyler; he caught me just as I was leaving and asked me to give it to you." He smiled,
"Thanks. Stay safe out there, okay?" Matt nodded and walked to the front door. Ben walked him to it and opened it for him. As Matt stepped out, he turned around to face him,
"It was good seeing you again, Ben. And be on the lookout for those lists."
"You, too. And I will, thank you. Again, I'm sorry for what happened with your wife." He nodded,
"It's okay. I guess it was just too hard for her; I'm actually surprised she made it this long. It's got to be hard, you know? The man or woman you love being away, fighting, for nine months at a time? And they're here by themselves? I guess I really didn't realize how hard it actually is. I know it was hard for me, but I never realized how extra hard it is here for her. But now I do and it's too late." Matt sighed,
"But I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to meet your girlfriend, tell her hello for me." Ben nodded,
"I will, Matt, take care."
"You do the same."
Matt nodded and walked off of the porch and to his truck. He waved before backing out and driving away. Ben closed the door and leaned up against it, trying to process everything Matt had just told him. Matt had been married for twelve years and had two kids and, just like that, it was over He continued to think about all of this until he heard his father yell that lunch was ready. He decided to try and put everything he had just been told in the back of his mind, at least for now.
He went and made his plate and sat down with his father. They ate for a few minutes before they heard a car pull into the driveway. He looked down at his watch and saw that it was about time for Allison to be coming. He excused himself from the table and went to the door and opened it, seeing it was, indeed, Allison. He smiled and walked down the porch steps and over to her. When he got closer, the smile faded from his face as he saw tears streaming down hers.
"Allison, what's wrong?" She wiped the tears from her eyes, but more quickly fell down,
"It's my dad."
They went inside and walked to his room and sat down on his bed. She had tears streaming down her face and he tried to comfort her as best he could.
"Allison, what happened?" She shook her head and waited a few minutes before saying,
"He has a brain tumor." She started to cry again and he put his arm around her and held her. He was surprised to say the least. He hadn't expected it and was about to say something when she wiped her cheeks and turned to him,
"Remember in my letter I said that we had taken my dad to the hospital after we had found him unconscious? He's had a lot of horrible headaches since then and a week ago my mom took him again. They didn't find anything wrong and sent him home that same day. He was fine for a couple of days and then the headaches came back, worse than before. About three days ago, my mom brought him back to the hospital. They did a couple of tests and finally took some scans of his brain…and that's when they found the tumor. They don't know how long it's been there and they made him stay and they don't know when he'll be able to come home. They're doing more tests to see how long it's been there and if it is operable or non-operable." He looked down, wishing that she had told him earlier. He shook his head,
"I'm so sorry, Allison." He tried to think of something to say that would comfort her and she tried to give a small smile, but failed. He suddenly realized that she had spent the entire last three days with him, which gave her no time to spend with her father. He opened his mouth to say something, but she beat him to it.
"I already know what you're going to say; that I should be with my dad, but he told me to spend my time with you. He knows that you go back next week and that our time together is limited. He knows how much you mean to me and he wants me to spend these days with you. Besides, I go and visit him almost every night after you go home." He nodded, still feeling a little guilty as she gave a small smile,
"I should get going; I have to get back to the hospital. My mom and dad wanted to talk to me about something; they said it was important."
"What do they want to talk to you about?" She shrugged her shoulders,
"I don't know; I guess I'll just have to see when I get there." He nodded and they walked to the door. He turned to her and shook his head,
"I'm sorry, again, about your father." She gave a small smile and reached up and gave him a quick kiss,
"It's okay. Can I come by tomorrow?"
"Of course you can, tell your father I'm sorry, too."
"I will. I love you." He smiled,
"I love you, too." He leaned in and kissed her again before he let her go and she slipped behind the wheel of her car and drove off.
He went inside and ended up spending the rest of the night with his father. They talked about a lot of things and he ended up telling his father why Matt had come over. He told him that Matt's wife was getting a divorce and the reasons behind filing for it. He also told him that the Air Force was basically drafting men for another four years. His dad had never heard of that and he couldn't believe it. He also told him the worried he had about his relationship with Allison.
"I love her so much and I couldn't imagine going through my life without her. It's just, if they put me on that list, I'll have to go for four more years. I have to finish the rest of this term, and then I'll have to do those four years; that's almost five years. I can't expect her to wait five years for me, that isn't fair to her. I'm more than willing to go for it and I want to make it work more than anything, but will she?" His father sighed,
"I don't know, Ben, but I have a feeling she will. She loves you, anybody can see that. She loves you just as much as you love her. She would wait for you, I know it." Ben smiled and nodded and his father added,
"Besides, you don't even know if you'll be on those lists; you've made it through the first cut and, right now, you only have nine more months left and you're out." Ben nodded again,
"Thank you, it means a lot." His dad smiled and nodded and gave him a hug. Ben hugged him back, hoping and praying that he was right, but knowing that this wasn't the last time he would hear about it.
He woke up the next morning at 8:30 and jogged around the neighborhood for about an hour. When he got home, he took a shower and gave Allison a call. They talked for about thirty minutes and, when they got off, he put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and reached for his keys.
He picked Allison up from her dorm and, since IHOP was only a couple of minutes away, they decided to go there and eat breakfast. Since it was a Monday morning, it wasn't very busy and they walked right in and sat down. They talked about her father and how her visit last night was. She finally brought her hands together,
"So, my parents talked to me last night."
"That's right, how did that go?"
"It was kind of awkward." He looked at her,
"Really? What did they say?" She avoided his gaze and he knew that, if she had been standing, she would be shuffling her feet. He smiled,
"Come on, you can tell me."
"I know, but it's kind of embarrassing."
"Tell me, you're the one that brought it up." She nodded and finally said,
"They, kind of, gave me the sex talk." He raised his eyebrow, not expecting her to say that. He wasn't surprised they had talked to her about it. He had thought about it, of course; it had been in the back of his mind lately. He hadn't said anything to her about it; he didn't want to force it on her by any means and he would never want her to do something she didn't want to. She interrupted his thoughts,
"Well, what do you think?" He shook his head and chuckled
"I don't know, what did they say?"
"Nothing I didn't already know. They just told me they knew we love each other, but to not jump into things and to just be careful…" He nodded and couldn't stifle a laugh.
"It's not funny! Why are you laughing?" He nodded and felt bad for laughing. This was obviously a big deal for her and, although he was laughing, it was a pretty big deal for him, too.
"I'm sorry, you're right." She waited for him to add more but, when she didn't, she said,
"And?"
"And what?"
"What else do you think?"
"I don't know, I mean it makes sense that they would talk to you about it. What do you think about it?" She didn't answer right away, but finally shrugged her shoulders,
"I don't know, like you said it makes sense why they would think they need to talk to me about it. I mean, we love each other and I've thought about it for a while…" She took a small break, then added,
"I want to, I really do, but I don't think I'm ready. I love you so much and I don't know why I've been so reluctant. I know you deserve a better answer than that, but I don't know what else to say." Ben reached for her hand,
"Hey it's okay. You don't need to apologize for anything. Of course I've thought about it, but, look here," She looked at him and he continued,
"I love you so much and, though this has obviously been on both of our minds, it isn't everything. I'll still feel the exact same way about you either way and nothing can change that." She smiled and reached over the table and gave him a quick kiss,
"Thank you." He smiled and gave her another quick kiss before she sat down in her seat.
A couple of minutes later, the waitress came with their breakfast. They talked endlessly while they ate. When they were almost done, she brought her hands together again,
"So, I have a question."
"Ask away."
"You like Led Zeppelin, don't you?"
"It won't be the real Led Zeppelin, of course, but they're a cover band. My family's heard them before and they said they're really good. They're performing downtown tonight, do you want to go?" He smiled,
"Absolutely, that'll be awesome."
"Good, my parents are going too, but we can go down to the stage if you want to. It starts at 7:00."
They finished their breakfast at about 11:00 and Ben paid the bill while Allison left the tip. They spent the rest of the day together and he dropped her off at her dorm at 5:00 so she could get ready for the concert. He came home and lazed around the house for about an hour before getting out a piece of paper and a pen.
The day before when Matt had left, he had given him a letter from Tyler. He read it last night after he had gotten home. Tyler's letter was front and back and talked mostly of what had been going on around the base. He talked about the list and told him that, thankfully, they had both been spared. Unfortunately, Matt wasn't and Tyler felt bad for him.
He had also begun writing letters to his girlfriend. He said that she was happy and surprised by his letter and was excited to start writing letters to him. He had been picked randomly to go on a mission to go put out a fire in one of the towns and had used Ben's advice to help him. He closed with an anticipation of getting a letter back from Ben and hoped that he was having fun with Allison and wanted to hear the details when he got back.
As Ben sat down at the table, he began writing away. He started off by telling him that he was glad Tyler had gotten past 'The List' and that he hoped he was doing well and keeping safe. He also told him that everything was going good here and he told him all of the things that he had been doing with Allison and promised to tell her he said hello. He closed with the hope that he would keep safe and that he would be looking for his next letter.
When he was finished writing, he put it in an envelope and put a stamp on it and put it aside for a minute. He grabbed another piece of paper and wrote a quick note to his father and told him that he would be back later tonight. He then got up and got ready for the concert.
:) So nothing too terribly exciting in this chapter. But you know how it is, leisure chapter, exciting chapter, leisure chapter, exciting chapter, etc. So expect the next chapter to be exciting! And, to still make it up to you guys for the huge delay, the chapter will either be up tonight or tomorrow! Hope you guys enjoyed it! Please review! I've missed ya'll's reviews.
