I checked my thumb again as we neared the hideout. The rotting skin was peeling off, revealing brand new skin. "Geez." I sighed. "We're almost there." Uni checked her map. "Yeah. It should be right around this corner." she replied. We turned the corner to find...

Nothing. Just the train station. I looked around. "It's quiet. Too quiet." I muttered, looking around. Something was coming at me.

With one swift motion, I caught the object and hurled it back to the thrower. Immediately, smoke began to pour out of it. I walked over to the thrower and knocked him out with one deck with my prosthetic hand. "Alrighty! Let's go beat up some felons!" I shouted to the others, as I ran towards the hideout. I tripped on a stray crack, falling onto my knee. I sat up, clutching the injured kneecap, rocking back and fourth. "Ssssss. Ahhhhhh. Ssssss. Ahhhhhh. Ssssss. Ahhhhhh. Ssssss. Ahhhhhh."

Noire groaned. "Out of all the things to reference, why Family Guy?" Neptune looked back. "Hmm. We did reference The Office a few chapters ago." she mentioned. "So, this reference, in theory, makes sense." I shrugged. "Also, should we start doing episode previews? I should ask the author to put up a poll about it." I asked. "Hang on. Would they be chapter previews, or episode previews?"

Neptune sighed. "Let's just ask the author to put up some polls and let the audience decide." she replied. "Now, forward! We need a good fight scene, or the audience will lose interest!" She walked to the door. Kicking it down, she shouted, "Are ya winning, son?"

The boy looked at Neptune. Suddenly, he began bawling and ran off. Neptune turned to me. "What was that about?" she asked. I cringed. "Oooooh. Pretty sure that was an orphan." I answered. "Hey, Did you know the letter F in orphan stands for family?" asked Big Nep. I looked at her. "Too far." I scolded.

"I know." she replied.

We walked through the hideout. "Oh, by the way... Why the hell is the shabby hideout next to the train station a labyrinth?" I asked. Uni sighed. "Because if it wasn't, this dungeon would be too short." she replied. Nepgear responded by planting a kiss on Uni's cheek. "Exactly! You're so smart, Uni." she praised.

I looked over. Blood trickled out of my nose. "Love is truly marvelous at times." I think aloud. Big Nep looked over. "You're thinking of something lewd, aren't you?" she asked. "I looked over. "Lewd? Is that another phrase for illegal?" I asked.


The scene paused. Neptune spoke up. "I will be the protag for a few minutes. Now it's from my point of view!" she cheered.


Is this guy for real? I thought to myself, as I, Neptune gazed at Kenji. Such a pure soul doesn't belong in this world! Kenji yelped as the words BACK ATTACK flashed in front of them. "Augh! What in the name of-!" He quickly got bashed by the comically oversized paper airplane enemy.


"Alright." Neptune sighed, the scene freezing once more. "I will give the baton back to Kenji."


Why are there so many of them?! I think to myself, looking around the battlefield. I decided to take a look in my inventory. A pork chop, and a bundle of TNT was what I had. I took out the TNT. Throwing it, I shouted, "So long, a-paper monster!""

The first airplane guy was vaporized by the following explosion. I heard shouting. "There's a fight going on over here!" Moments later, we were surrounded by goons. I sighed. "Gear Five: Shoot Style!" I called, as I pulled out a bow and sword.

I ran over, cutting down monsters and thugs alike. I pulled three explosive arrows from my quiver and fired them at the back of the massive enemy robot. It exploded, collapsing into a pile of smoldering scrap metal.

We cleared out the rest of the enemies, then we continued. I spotted a chest on top of a stack of boxes. If I got to that box, maybe I'll get something good. I jumped up, trying to grab the edge of one of the boxes, and I succeeded. But while doing so, the tower of boxes became quite unstable.

I clambered up and opened the chest. Inside lay a custom Smith Wesson Model 30 revolver, the same type that Guido Mista uses. I also found other things, such as a diamond katana, and a box of .32 mm bullets. "Nice." I muttered, packing everything into the inventory.

Remember when I said that the stack of boxes was unstable? Yeah. It was at this moment that the boxes... started to fall. I jumped down, just as the boxes crashed to the ground. "Geez.." I sighed.

"Depositing cheese." replied one of the many machines. And just like that, a wheel of cheese rolled out of the machine. "Umm... what?" I asked, staring at the wheel of cheese. "And why?"

Neptune shrugged. "We can use this to cheese the next boss!" she giggled. Noire groaned. "That was awful, Neptune." Neptune looked at Noire, "What's wrong, Lonely Heart? Are my jokes too cheesy for you?" she replied.

"Booooo! You stink!" jeered one of the machines. "Get off the stage before I [BEEP] you in the [BEEP] so hard, you [BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEP]"

Nepgear quickly unplugged the machine before it said anything more. "Okay, I know the jokes were bad, but those insults were too much." I sighed. Suddenly, the lights went off. "Hello, you shitty CPUs. I'd like to play a game." boomed the voice in the ceiling. "I knew if you thought there was a Felon here, you would all come running, so I set a trap for you. This entire dungeon is rigged with a small nuke. You could escape, and let thousands die, or you could defuse the bomb, and sacrifice one of your friends." The TV turned off. A huge timer appeared on the TV, set to five minutes. "Crap!" cried Nepgear. "I can't believe I got us all in this mess!"

Everyone began to panic. Nepgear and Uni frantically looked the machine over, looking for a way to disarm the bomb. I was also panicking. I took a deep breath. I looked over and saw a power cord that went under one of the doors. I opened the door and followed the cord. I came to a power outlet. I pulled the plug, and the TVs went blank. The machines all turned off, and the ticking stopped.

The voice came back on. "Huh? The bomb quit responding. Let me just-" A series of curses and growls came from the TV as he typed away on a computer. I looked over and saw a black curtain. I pulled it asunder and saw a man, who was probably in his 30s, sitting there at his computer rig, cursing and typing away at his computer. I cleared my throat, and he looked at me. "Wha- you bloody cheat! No! You're supposed to sacrifice yourself for the greater good! Even the writer-"

I clocked him. "Kindly shut up, you pig."

I snapped. "Originally, I was gonna just arrest you, but now, when I'm done with you... there's gonna be no more bones left to break!" He looked at me, terrified. "Please spare me! All I did was waste all my money on Onlyfans!" "SIMP!" I shouted.

"Dorararararararararararararararara!" I shouted, pummeling him with blows from my fists, finishing the combo with a final blow. "Dora!" He shrieked as he crashed through the wall, letting a gust of fresh cool air into the dungeon. I sighed. "Gimmie a break." I groaned. I looked back, and saw five faces peer back at me.

"This so called nuclear bomb is just a simple pipe bomb." Nepgear observed. I began to hear screaming and shouting from outside. "I thought this mission was too easy." I muttered, running outside. A siren began to blare. Uni ran up to me and Nepgear. "All of the news stations are going haywire! They are all saying that there is a nuclear bomb in Midgard!" she cried. I thought for a moment. "This has to be a cyber attack. Their goal isn't to kill the CPUs at the moment." I replied. "They want to start a mass panic. If we don't get this under control, we could have a riot on our hands." I looked towards our allies. At that moment, Blanc and Vert flew towards us, transformed and flying faster than I've ever seen them fly. "The news stations are going nuts." called Blanc. "Why the hell did you let it get this bad?!" I looked towards her. "How fast can you get me to the news

station?" I asked. She looked towards me. "Kenji, did you not just hear a damn word I just said?" she growled. "Look, just answer the question." Her left eyelid were twitching. But she sighed. "Fine. But if you're blamed for the destruction of Midgard, I am not saving your ass. Capiche?" I nodded.

"Alright. Hold still." She picked me up and took off. We flew over the plate, which was not really high, by the way.

There's a big difference between this Midgard an Final Fantasy 7's version. This Midgard's plates are at ground level, and the quote on quote "slums" is basically an underground city, with many holes through the plates to let sunlight through.

And me and the CPU of Lowee were now flying through one of the holes, towards the TV and radio station of Midgard. We landed at the station, and ran in. The crew was panicking. "Cut the feed!" shouted one employee. "We can't! We're locked out of the system!"

"Can't you just turn it off, then on again?" I called. Everyone stopped and looked at me. I walked over to the control panel. I typed in the satellite reset code, and pressed OK. The TVs went blank, with the message SIGNAL LOST on them. A few minutes later, the TVs went back on. "Do you know where that interference came from?" I asked. One of the employees looked at me. "The interference came from the capital building." he told me.

The TVs came alive with news broadcasts, announcing that the TV stations had suffered a mass cyber attack and that there was no nuke in Midgard. A collective sigh of relief came from the employees. We then heard a crash from outside. Blanc and I ran outside, and saw CFW Trick. But he was slumped over, looking rusted and scratched up. I turned his head with my foot. "Is he dead?" I asked. I turned to Blanc. "Why don't you use that axe of yours to put him out of his misery?"

"Gladly." I nudged the head a little more so the neck was exposed. With one swift slice, Blanc had chopped off Trick's head.

"That was kinda boring." sighed Blanc. "Would you prefer being carried down, or walking?" she asked.

"Why don't we take a stroll?" I asked. "We've never gotten the chance to talk." She sighed. "I don't mind." For a moment, she forgot to change back into her human form, and she began to descend the stairs. "Is something on your mind?" I asked. She looked back. "Not much. I'm still mad at Vert for teasing me about my boobs..." She blushed. "I shouldn't be telling you this! You're a boy, after all.."

"No no. It's okay. I'm used to girls telling me about stuff like that." I replied. "Anyways, you shouldn't let Vert's teasing get to you. It's just like my mother used to say to other girls: what you don't have in front you have in the back."

Blanc's face went red. My head cocked a little. "Did I say anything wrong?" I asked, worried. She shook her head. "No, no. You're absolutely right." she answered. "Let's keep going."

We descended the stairs and finally came to the ground floor. The others were waiting for us. "Color me stoked, he was right." sighed Vert, having already turned back into a human. "But.. that means that the only thing to do is fight the Felon."

I sighed. "The felon is CFW Trick." I replied. Vert smiled. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's-"

"He's dead." I finished. Vert's smile vanished. "Why do you get to have all the fun?" I shrugged.