Chapter 22
"Am I going to be sleeping in the tower?"
It was a question that he was afraid to ask, but had to ask. So many things in his life had changed over the summer that he wanted to know that some of them would stay the same. While he was grateful to Snape for taking him in, he was worried about the role in his life his guardian would have once they were back at Hogwarts.
"Why wouldn't you?"
They were sitting in the library. Snape was reading a journal, probably Potions or Herbology, and Harry was reading a Quidditch magazine. Harry had been watching the clock and he knew he was supposed to be in bed in almost an hour, so the time to ask this question was running out. He had timed it so that if the answer was bad, he could plead tiredness and flee to his room.
"Well … I just wondered, is all," Harry admitted. "Since you live there too."
Snape nodded. "You will remain with the Gryffindor Fifth Years," he said. "Unless you give me a reason to remove you."
"A reason?" Harry asked, his heart sinking.
"Well first of all," Snape closed his journal and put it on the table next to his chair. He sat forward and looked at Harry discerningly. Harry hated that look, but returned it as best he could. "You will follow all school rules this year. None of your usual nonsense."
"Nonsense!"
"Don't give me that look," Snape scoffed. "You know what I mean. I may not know exactly how you do it, but I have caught you after curfew more than once. That will stop, or you will answer to me. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Sir," Harry said grimly.
'It's about time, too. You've run wild for four years, and faced no consequences. You've always needed a firm hand. Now you shall have one," Snape said, sounding firm but not vindictive.
"Now, wait a minute!" Harry objected. "That's not true."
"Which part, Mr. Potter?" Snape drawled. "The part about running wild, or not facing consequences?"
It was never good when they reverted to 'Mr. Potter.' Harry continued nonetheless. Snape had the wrong idea about Hogwarts, and Harry was determined to convince him that Harry wasn't a trouble maker.
"Neither one!" Harry said, glaring. "I don't run around wild, and I have faced consequences. I don't break rules without a reason, and I have been punished. All the time."
"Really?" Snape said. "Do tell."
"Huh?"
Eloquent," Snape said with a smirk.
"Let's take them in order of occurrence, shall we?" Snape leaned forward. "Sneaking out. After curfew? Outside of the castle. Into places you do not belong. The Forbidden Forest. The Third Floor Corridor. The Slytherin Common Room. The Shrieking Shack. Hogsmeade. Dangerous places."
"Oh," Harry said softly. "Well, I had reasons for all of that. And, well, I got punished. Most of the time."
"Is that so?" Snape asked. "How? By whom?"
"Well," Harry said. "Detention usually."
"I see," Snape said. "Do you think that is a reasonable punishment for those crimes?"
Crimes.
"Um," Harry said.
"Do you know, Mr. Potter, what usually happens when a child is caught breaking an egregious rule such as, for example, risking his life?"
Harry shook his head, wishing again that Snape would stop calling him that.
"A parent is notified. Does this make sense to you?"
Memories of the Howler from their second year played in his head. Harry had felt bad for his friend, but also a little sad. He might have even been a little jealous of Ron. He didn't know if anyone had contacted the Dursleys. He doubted they would have cared that he had risked his life.
It was almost as if Snape knew what he was thinking. They were both quiet for a moment. Harry couldn't speak, and Snape didn't. When he did, it was in a soft and sensitive voice.
"Harry, you have a guardian now. One that cares what happens to you."
The tone, and the words, reached Harry's heart. He looked up quickly, glad that the tears hadn't actually reached his eyes. Nodding quickly, he realized that Snape wasn't trying to make him miserable with this conversation. He was getting his point across.
"So, there will be consequences from me if you engage in foolhardy behavior. If you want to avoid them, do not break the rules," Snape said.
His tone was a little harder, as if to make up for the softness from before. Harry understood though. Somewhere deep under that exterior of coldness and sternness, there was something in Snape that cared. It was an odd feeling, and Harry was still getting used to it.
"I understand, Sir," Harry said. "I will try to remember."
"See that you do," Snape said.
"Yes, Sir. And Sir?"
Snape looked at him inquisitive.
"Please call me Harry."
"Of course."
Harry nodded.
There was a pause, and Snape continued. "I realize things will be somewhat different for you, having your guardian at the school. As I understand it, such a thing has not occurred at Hogwarts for some time. A room has been added to my quarters for you. You are welcome there any time. You will not need an invitation to come. My wards will be keyed to you. I will receive a signal that you are there, but you will be allowed in any time."
This took some time to sink in. Harry had never even had his own bedroom before coming to live with Snape. Dudley's 'second bedroom' full of leftover and broken toys had never been a space of his own. He'd gone from no space of his own to two. He was kind of used to it now, and the idea of a private space at Hogwarts appealed to him.
"Thank you, Sir," he said.
"Since we are arriving early, I will take you to Hogsmeade to decorate it, or you can choose from catalogs. I will give you a pass so that you can come after curfew if you need to, so long as you do not abuse the privilege and use that as an excuse to wander the halls," Snape said. "If you do, I shall know."
Smiling, Harry nodded. It was such a Snape-like thing to say. "Right, Sir."
"Any rule-breaking is going to result in your privileges of being in Gryffindor Tower revoked and you will be staying in our quarters instead," Snape continued.
"What?" Harry cried. "How is the tower a privilege?"
His dorm in the tower had been his first true home. He had been safe there and had a feeling of belonging for the first time. It made no sense to him that Snape was calling it a privilege and said he could take it away.
"It absolutely is," Snape continued, not rising to respond to Harry's tone. "You will be watched closely this year, Harry. You need to be on your best behavior. I will be keeping an eye on you, of course, but I will not be the only one. If you cannot behave yourself, it makes perfect sense that I shall need to keep a closer eye on you. Professor McGonagall seems to have failed to do so for the past four years."
"Now that's not fair," Harry said. "She has all of Gryffindor to look after."
"And I have all of Slytherin," Snape said. "Your point?"
"Oh and Slytherins get into no trouble?" Harry snapped.
"You get into more trouble than all of Slytherin combined," Snape returned.
"Malfoy!" Harry said, grunting.
"Mr. Malfoy is none of your business," Snape said, glaring at Harry now. "You would do well to set aside your conflict with him. It does neither of you any good."
"My conflict with him?" Harry gaped at Snape. "He has been picking on me since we got to Hogwarts!"
"As I understand it, it was you who first rebuffed his offer of friendship," Snape said.
"And he took Neville's Remembrall and threw it on the roof!" Harry cried.
"After which, you flew after it, caught it, and then were rewarded for breaking the rules with a spot on the Gryffindor Quidditch team," Snape snapped. "Tell me, were you punished?"
Harry felt his face flushing, remembering how he had been terrified of being expelled. He hadn't been punished. Snape was right.
"Was Mr. Malfoy similarly rewarded?" Snape asked.
Harry shook his head.
"Do you think he was punished?"
Knowing Snape, Harry believed he absolutely was. He had a good idea how, too. It made him look back on the incident differently. No matter little Draco Malfoy had been angry.
"So you see, Harry, where the double standard comes into play?" Snape asked, his voice a little more gentle.
"But you always favor the Slytherins," Harry pointed out. "You never take points or give them detention in class."
"That's right," Snape said. "In class. In class I favor them, because no one else does. I also do not punish them in class. That does not mean they are never punished. In Slytherin, we do everything privately. We take care of our own."
"Oh."
Harry wasn't sure what else to say.
"Keep an eye on the Slytherins this year, and the other professors," Snape said, slowly and carefully. "In classes you have with Slytherin, so who gets points taken and awarded, and for what. I think you will see something you may not have noticed before. There is a bias against Slyherin, just as there is a bias for Gryfinddor. There is a bias against Hufflepuff too. It is hardly fair, but it is there."
"Hufflepuff," Harry asked.
"The Sorting Hat is a ridiculous institution," Snape said. "You know that as well as anyone. It plants a bias on a student from almost the first moment they enter the school. While it's true that they might have some tendencies from family background, that doesn't mean everything. You can overcome your family, as I am sure you have also seen."
"Sirius," Harry whispered.
"An example," Snape nodded.
As Harry thought about that, he realized that people did not really know about Sirius and Wormtail. Not many people knew that Sirius was innocent or that Pettigrew was a Griffydor. Harry didn't really know any Slytherins and had more interactions with Malfoy and his goons than the others, and they were almost all bad.
"At the very least, avoid conflict," Snape said finally. "If you are fighting with Mr. Malfoy, you will answer to me."
"That's not fair," Harry said. "He starts it!"
"I think you will find," Snape said, "that if you do not respond to provocation, he will grow bored of it. If he harasses you and you do nothing, it becomes his issue and I will deal with him. If you respond, it becomes yours."
Unfortunately, Harry couldn't fault that logic.
"Fine," Harry said. "But if he attacks him, I am defending myself. It's not fair that I get in trouble for that."
Snape seemed to consider that. "You are allowed to defend yourself within reason. You are not allowed to provoke him to attack."
"I don't do that," Harry said.
"Have I made myself clear?" Snape asked.
"Yes, Sir."
"Good," Snape continued. "You will not receive further consequences from me for infractions of regular school rules that professors have dealt with, unless they contact me."
"What?" Harry cried. He was beginning to think this school year was going to be a nightmare.
"Professors routinely contact the parent or guardian in matters of excessive detentions, poor grades, or misbehavior they consider we should know about," Snape said dismissively.
For some reason, Snape's use of 'we' in that sentence made Harry worried. He wondered what his professors had already contacted Snape about. He already seemed to know a lot.
"But," Harry seemed unable to finish.
"As I said, you have nothing to worry about if you behave," Snape said with a shrug.
Harry looked at Snape, unconvinced. The man had just spent ten minutes telling him he was unable to behave. Now he was telling him he didn't need to worry as long as he behaved.
"So if my professors tell you something, I'm grounded and have to leave the tower?" Harry asked.
"Not permanently."
"How long?" Harry demanded.
"I suppose that depends," Snape said. "I have been looking at your grades."
Harry put his head in his hands. He was doomed. Snape was never going to let him in the tower again.
"I believe you need a new study group," Snape said. "McGonagall seems remiss in reviewing yours."
"What?" Harry didn't even bother. He had no idea what Snape was talking about.
"Your study group. How often does she review and change them?" Snape asked.
"Umm."
"Harry, I am talking to you. By fourth year, your prefects should no longer have been checking your work every day but they should still have been monitoring your study group," Snape was looking at Harry with a concerned look.
"Well …"
"Harry? Who is in your study group?"
"Um," Harry wasn't really sure what Snape meant, but decided to make his best guess. "Usually Hermione helps me study and makes Ron study with us too."
"Hermione makes …" Snape had a look of dawning comprehension on his face and muttered something under his breath. "I see."
"Huh?"
"You will be doing your homework in our quarters," Snape said with finality."
"What?" Harry said. "No! Why?"
"Because the purpose for your abominable grades and poor study habits has become clear," Snape said.
"No," Harry cried. "Please. I'll do better, I swear. Let me stay in the tower. You can't do this!"
"First of all," Snape said, his voice turning icy, "I can and I will. Second of all, I did not say that you cannot sleep in the tower. I said that you will study in our quarters. You will remain under supervision."
"But you won't be there," Harry said. "Will you?"
"Certainly not," Snape said. "I have work to do. I will get you a tutor."
"Oh, Merlin," Harry moned. "Who?"
"There are any number of older Slytherins who would be happy to get in their Head of House's good graces …" Snape began.
Harry jumped up, "No way. Oh, no way in Hell. I am not being tutored by some Slimy Snake."
"Sit down," Snape said, his voice in a low, dangerous growl Harry could hardly hear. In case you have not noticed, you have been tutored by a Slimy Slytherin for most of the summer. And if you talk to me like that again, you will be scrubbing cauldrons until you are slimy yourself."
"Yes, Sir," Harry said, wilting somewhat.
"As for tutoring," Snape said. "You will concede that you have been unsuccessful so far in your study habits."
Although Harry was unsure what to say to that, Harry did not want to concede. He stared at his hands. Snape seemed to think that McGonagall had been remiss in her duties to them. Obviously she felt they should be more mature in organizing things for themselves. Snape felt differently.
"When you arrived here, you couldn't even hold a quill properly," Snape pointed out. "I now see why."
The man had done rather a lot for him, Harry knew. He was also going to have a lot less freedom. He supposed most kids with parents did. It was a tradeoff. There were good things and bad things about having a guardian.
"Yeah," Harry said softly, "I was … I didn't even know what a quill was until I was eleven."
"Just so," Snape said. "You had some catching up to do. Many students do. So you caught up. You are still catching up. That is no reason to be as complacent as you were. As you are. If there is something you don't know, you find out."
"That's not fair," Harry said. "I don't always know what … what I don't know!"
"Nonsense," Snape said. "You were well-aware of your inability to write properly."
"Well, yeah, I guess," Harry said. "But, not all the other stuff. I mean, house elves. I didn't know they existed until Dobby showed up."
"Ask questions," Snape said simply. "Did you never wonder where the food came from? How your bed was made?"
"Magic?" Harry said, making the word a question.
"Perhaps," Snape continued. "But how? What is a spell and what is not? Think!"
"Okay," Harry said. "Okay, I get it."
"Do you?" Snape asked. "I am not sure you do. You have a responsibility, and you have been sheltered from it for far too long. I will concede that this is not all your fault. Choices have been made for you. However, there are other choices that you need to make. You are not alone any more. That is one of the things I am trying to tell you. I will hold you accountable, yes. But you can also come to me, because I am here for you."
It seemed like a roundabout way of telling him, Harry though, but then Snape was not the plushie sort. So he nodded, to tell Snape he understood. He wasn't completely sure he understood. What had sunk in was that his fifth year at Hogwarts was going to be much more complicated, as if he had not already appreciated that.
"Sir, can I ask you another question?"
"You can always ask."
Meaning, Snape would not always answer.
"About my hearing …"
"Do not worry about that," Snape said. "You will be represented. They cannot prevent me from being there, as your guardian, and Professor Dumbledore will also be there."
"So," Harry pushed. "I won't be expelled."
"Of course not," Snape said. "Do not allow foolish thoughts into your mind."
"Oh," Harry said. "Okay then."
"It is a publicity stunt, Harry, nothing more," Snape assured him.
"I am sick of publicity," Harry griped.
"You had better get used to it," Snape said. "It is never going to go away. But neither am I."
