Here's the next chapter! Hope you guys are enjoying it! :)


Chapter 32

He woke up the next morning at 9:30. He ate breakfast with his father and read the newspaper. After they finished, he changed into his workout clothes and jogged around the neighborhood for about an hour. When he was done jogging, he went home and took a nice, cold shower.

After he took a shower, he went to his room and put his clothes for the funeral on. He put his pants on and put a while long-sleeve shirt on before putting his black collared shirt on. It was 11:45 when he was finished getting dressed. He went and brushed his teeth and sprayed a couple of sprays of cologne on when his dad came in,

"Hey what time is Allison coming?"

"12.00; she should be here anytime now. Are you going to come with us or are you going to come later?"

"I guess I'll go with you two."

"Okay."

He went to his bedroom and got his shoes on when he saw a car pull in the driveway outside his window. He finished tying his shoes and looked out his window to see Allison step out of the car. He saw that she was wearing a pair of black pants and a black long-sleeve shirt with a black cardigan over it.

He went to the front door and yelled to his father that Allison was here. He went to the door and opened it, just as she was raising her hand to knock on it. Up close, he saw that her eyes were red and swollen; he knew she had been crying. When she saw him, she gave a fake smile. He smiled, sympathetically

"How are you doing?"

"Not good." He opened the door all of the way,

"Here, come on in."

She came inside and he closed the door. He turned around to face her and she had tears on her cheeks. He sighed and opened his arms. He held her for a while, trying to comfort her as best he could. He really didn't know what to say so he whispered how sorry he was. She eventually pulled away and said,

"I'm sorry." He shook his head and wiped her cheeks,

"Don't be sorry, I know it's going to be a hard day for you. You shouldn't hold anything in, just let it out." She nodded and he held her some more until his dad came in. Ben looked up at him and Allison pulled away and turned around to face him. His dad took a deep breath,

"I'm so sorry, honey." This made Allison's lip quiver even more and his dad opened his arms up to her as well. His dad held her for a while until she pulled away and said,

"Thank you, Mr. Carter; and thank you for coming with us so early."

"You're welcome, I'm happy to." She smiled weakly and he hugged her again before Ben butted in and said,

"Well, we better get going if you want to get there early."


Ben drove his father's car, with Allison sitting right beside him, giving him directions. His dad sat in the backseat and barely said a word the entire way. Like Allison predicted, it took about thirty minutes to get to the church. When they finally got there, they pulled into the parking lot and saw her mom's car. They parked right beside it and got out.

As they began to near the church, men in black were already standing outside. They gave them cards outlining how the service was going to go as they walked inside. They were about to go into the sanctuary when they saw there was a book on the wall.

They went up to the open book and Ben realized it was an attendance book. Allison signed it and Ben went up as signed it as well, followed by his father. There was only one other signature besides theirs; her mom's. When his father finished signing it, they walked into the sanctuary. Her mom was standing in front of a table with her back turned to them. She must have heard them because she turned around and when they got closer, Ben could see that she was crying.

She gave a fake smile and when Allison got close enough, her mom embraced her. They held each other for a long time; her mom started to cry as soon as she got Allison in her arms and, though Allison's back was to him, he saw her shoulders begin to shake and he knew she was crying as well.

While they were holding each other, Ben saw what Allison's mom was looking at. There were pictures of her father placed all along the table; Ben recognized most of them as the ones he had helped pick out at her mom's house. He looked at them and saw her mom and dad's wedding pictures and pictures of her dad holding Allison when she was born.

When Allison and her mom finally broke apart, her mom looked at Ben and extended her arms. He hugged her and whispered how sorry he was. She thanked him and turned to his dad and hugged him as well. While they were hugging, Ben turned around to face Allison; she was crying and her eyes were already red. He sighed and held her; he kissed her head as they heard people start to come in behind them.

As more and more people filed in, her mom stood up at the front of the sanctuary where the table with her father's pictures and casket were. Alison wanted to stand with her mom and so Ben stood with her while his dad sat in the pews.

The church was small; there were only about seven or eight rows of pews. The stage was behind the table and casket and, off to the left on the stage, was a piano; a woman had been playing it ever since they had arrived.

People began to come in and, when they arrived, they would sign the book up in the lobby and then they came in and walked down the aisle to where they were standing. By the time 1:00 came, he must have heard a hundred 'I'm so sorrys.' Allison and her mom must have hugged a hundred people and didn't seem to get tired of it.

While Allison and her mom were talking to a couple of people, Ben turned around and looked at her father's casket. It was a closed visitation and Ben stared at the closed casket, still not coming to the full realization that her dad really was gone .He stared at all of the pictures until he heard someone behind him; it was one of the two preachers that would be leading her father's service.

"If you three are ready, we can start now." Allison's mom nodded,

"Yes, I think we are ready." The preacher nodded and Allison turned to face Ben,

"Are you going to sit with your dad?"

"I was going to, but I can stay up here with you if you want me to."

"No, go sit with your dad, I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

Allison nodded as someone else entered the sanctuary. They turned to look and see who it was and saw that it was Allison's older sister. He had yet to meet her and, as she got closer, she extended her arms to her mom. They hugged and he heard Allison's sister say,

"I'm so sorry, there was a huge car accident and traffic was backed up for almost three miles." Her mom nodded and her sister turned and gave Allison a hug. Then, she seemed to notice Ben standing there.

"So, this is Ben, huh?" Ben smiled and nodded,

"Yes ma'am and you're Rachel I'm guessing?" She nodded and looked at Allison,

"Yes ma'am? I think I'm going to like him." Allison smiled; the first time she had all day. Rachel turned back to him,

"Well, come here let me hug you. It's hard to believe we haven't met until now." He smiled again and hugged her,

"I know, the only time I've seen you is when you were in the video letter Allison sent me."

"That's right! I almost forgot about that, how did you like that by the way?"

"I loved it, I told Allison to tell you thank you for me, did she?"

"Yeah she did, I just wanted to hear it from you." He smiled, liking her already,

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you."

"You, too." The preacher then came back up to them and asked,

"Are all of you ready now?" Her mom nodded,

"Yes, come on you all, let's sit down." Ben turned to Allison,

"I'm going to go sit with my dad, are you going to be okay up here?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine; thank you." He nodded and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before going back to the fourth row and sitting beside his dad.


It was a very emotional service; Ben had tears in his eyes not even halfway through. He rarely cried at funerals, except for his moms of course, but there was something about the service that affected him. Maybe it was the fact that three rows ahead of him, Allison, her mom and her sister were crying their eyes out.

The preacher talked about knowing Eric and marrying him and Patricia, her mom, and watching them grow with the church. Then the other preacher came up and talked about personally knowing Eric and then said,

"Even though he will be greatly missed here, I think we all know that he in a far better place. He's in heaven with our King and he's waiting for each and every one of us here. This is a time for mourning, but it should also be a time for celebration. Eric is in a perfect kingdom, much different than the sinful world we live in today. Let us pray."

After he was done praying, they sang a gospel song, then the preacher came back up and said,

"On behalf of the entire Johnson family, they all thank you for coming out and supporting them in their time of grief. At this time, the service is over and the Johnson family hopes you will come to the cemetery for the burial of Eric. We hope you'll join us, thank you all for coming."

The preacher walked off of the stage and each row of pews were dismissed individually. Allison and her family were on the first row so, as they passed by, Ben saw Allison's face for the first time since the funeral started. Her eyes were red and swollen and tears were flowing from her eyes, as well as the eyes of her mom and sister.

When they finally got the fourth pew, Ben led the row out of the pew and down the aisle back into the lobby. He saw Allison and her family outside so he headed out there with his father right behind him. Allison saw him approaching and he saw her lip start to quiver just at the sight of him. She squeezed her eyes shut and he took that as a sign to take her in his arms.

He held her and could feel her shaking as she cried. He stroked her hair and kissed her head, not knowing what to say, or even if she should say anything at all. While he was holding her, his father hugged her mom. When Ben and Allison finally broke apart, Ben hugged her mom and sister while his father hugged Allison. When Ben finished hugging her sister, he stood beside Allison and her mom asked,

"Are you two coming to the cemetery?"

"Absolutely; right, Ben?"

"Yeah, we wouldn't miss it"

"Okay, and thank you."

As more people filed out, they came and talked to her mom and well as Allison and her sister. Ben was even introduced to a couple of her relatives; grandparents and a couple of aunts and uncles. While they were all talking outside, the men came out carrying her father's casket. They put it in the back of the hearse and came over and asked if they were ready to go to the grave site. Her mom took a deep breath and nodded,

"Yes, please."


It took about thirty minutes to get to the cemetery from the church. Allison rode with him and his father and they followed slowly in the funeral procession. Ben drove and they went out onto the interstate and it was all he could do to keep the cop's that was leading them blue lights in his sight.

They eventually turned into the cemetery's entrance and he followed the procession of cars with hazard lights up the hill and towards the back of the cemetery. They turned a corner then another, then saw the grave site on top of a huge hill. There were cars lined up on the road up the hill and he parked on the side of the road at the base of the hill. They got out and walked up the hill to the gravesite.

They had a tent over the gravesite and two rows of seats were placed in front of the casket. They walked up the hill where Allison's mom was standing, along with many other people from the church.

When everyone had arrived and gathered at the top of the hill, the service began. The two preachers began and greeted and thanked everyone for coming out. They asked the family to sit in the two rows of seats in front of her father's casket. Ben let go of Allison's hand and she went and saw beside her mom and sister. A couple of other family members went and sat down; Eric's parents, both his brother and sister and a couple of aunts and uncles. The preacher looked when everyone was seated and said,

"There are a few more seats if anyone else wants to sit down." Allison turned around to look at Ben. She motioned over to them and mouthed,

"Come on, come sit down."

"Are you sure?" She gave a weak smile and nodded. Ben turned to face his dad,

"Come on, let's go sit down with them."

Allison and her family were sitting on the first row and Ben and his dad sat on the second row. Ben sat right behind her and held her hand as the preachers continued.

They prayed and said a couple of more words about her father until they passed out flowers to almost everyone standing around. When they passed all of them out, they recited a couple more of Eric's favorite passages from the bible and prayed again.

"At this time, we would like to ask everyone that received a flower to please come up and lay it on the casket and pay Eric your last respects."

Everyone started to form a line and came underneath the tent and placed their flowers on his casket one by one. Ben kissed Allison's hand and let it go. As they placed their flowers onto his casket, everyone hugged Allison, her mom and her sister.

When everyone had finished putting their flowers on his casket and everyone had hugged Allison, her mom and sister, the two preachers thanked everyone for coming and prayed one last time. Everyone then began to leave and Ben and his father stood up. Allison and her family stood up as well and Allison turned around to face him; the first time since he had sat down behind her.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her eyes were as red and swollen as Ben had ever seen them. She looked at him and he gave a weak smile. Her mom went and talked to the preachers and a couple of men came and lowered her father's casket into the ground. Her sister went and talked to the preachers and her mom and Allison walked over to Ben and his dad. She was still crying and, when she got close, he opened his arms and held her as she cried. He could feel her shaking and he stroked her hair and comforted her as best as he could. He held her for a while until she pulled away.

"Thank you so much for being here, Ben."

"Of course, Allison, I wouldn't be anywhere else." She bit her lip and her mom called her name. She turned around and her mom told her to come over. She turned back around to face him and he kissed her forehead,

"Go ahead, me and my dad will be waiting at the car."

After the funeral, he said good-bye to her mom and sister and waited at the car with his father. Ben sat in the driver's seat and his dad was in the backseat. While they were waiting for Allison, Ben put his hand on the steering wheel and shook his head,

"God, I hate this." His dad nodded,

"I do too; I hate it for all of them. I watched Allison throughout the service and she's not handling it very well."

"I know. I wish I could do something to help her but I don't know what to do."

"There's nothing you can do, Ben; she's going to have to cope with it on her own terms. You can be there for her and support her, but she's going to have to deal with it herself." Ben sighed and nodded,

"Yeah, you're right."

They sat for another minute until he saw her begin to trek down the hill. When she got to the car, she got in and put her head in her hands. Ben put his arm around her and whispered,

"I'm so sorry."


After holding her for a minute, he turned the truck on and began their drive home. It took almost an hour to get back to his house and it was near dinnertime when they finally pulled into the driveway. They got out and his father gave Allison a hug and said how sorry he was Allison nodded and pulled away,

"Thank you; and thank you so much for coming, it meant so much to me and my family."

"You're welcome; I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Your dad was a wonderful man."

"Thank you." He nodded and excused himself and went inside; giving them time alone. Ben looked at her as she crossed her arms; her eyes were still red and swollen, but she had stopped crying.

"Are you okay?" He asked, not knowing what else to say. She sighed,

"No, I'm not okay, Ben. God, will everyone please stop asking me if I'm okay and telling me how sorry they are? No, I'm not okay, just leave me alone." He sighed; he knew she didn't mean any of it. She was angry and upset and she had every right to be. He went over to her and put his hand on her shoulder,

"Allison-" She snatched away,

"Don't do that; don't tell me how sorry you are, I don't want to hear it. Just leave me alone." He took a step towards her and she pounded on his chest with her first,

"Leave me alone!" He grabbed her wrists and put his arms around her and held her tight. She leaned into him and sobbed as she wrapped her arms around him. After holding her for a while, she pulled away and shook her head,

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you; I don't mean it, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I know you're upset." She nodded and ran her hands through her hair,

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course you can." She sat down on the porch step,

"I've been thinking about us; we're strong, Ben. I lean on you and you're one of the people I look to help me and comfort me when I need it. Even though I'm not completely emotionally stable, I'm here for you whenever you need it and you know that."

She took a small break and he sat beside her on the porch, wondering where she was going with all of this. She sighed and got tears in her eyes and he somehow knew whatever was coming next was not good. She tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks, but more quickly trickled down.

"I kept seeing you in the casket." He raised his eyebrow,

"What?"

"I tried with all of my might to force the images away but, every time I closed my eyes or looked at the casket, I saw your face lying there." Her voice cracked on the last couple of words. He was shocked to say the least and he turned her face to his,

"Listen to me, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going back this last time and that's it. Nothing's going to happen to me, alright? I'm not going to let myself die out there and leave you here." She turned away and was crying and he said,

"Look at me, Allison." She continued to cry, but she slowly turned to look at him.

"I promise, okay? I promise you." She nodded and he moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, hoping he could keep the promise he had just made.


They spent the next couple of hours together; enjoying each other's company and cherishing the few hours they had left together. Allison left at around 10:00 and Ben walked her out to her car. He kissed her goodnight and Allison put her forehead to his,

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Do you even know why I'm thanking you?"

"No, but when someone says thank you, you're supposed to say you're welcome." She smiled and chuckled,

"I'm thanking you for coming with me to the funeral; it meant a lot to me. And thank you for being here for me, even when I told you to leave me alone and when I pushed you away." He smiled and leaned in and kissed her,

"You're welcome; I wouldn't have been anywhere else but with you. I wouldn't have left you when you needed me." She smiled and reached up and kissed him one more time. He told her bye and asked her what time she had class tomorrow.

"Let's see, tomorrow is Thursday so I have class from two to six."

"Perfect, I have a surprise you."

"Really? Well, what is this surprise?"

"Mmm, I'm afraid I can't tell you or it wouldn't be considered a surprise." She looked at him for a minute but, when she realized he wasn't going to tell her, she shrugged her shoulders,

"Okay, I guess I can wait until morning."

"Good, I'll pick you up at eight."

"Okay." They smiled at each other and he kissed her one more time before she slipped behind the wheel of her car and backed out of his driveway.


He headed inside and went to the living room where his father was asleep in the chair. Ben stretched, feeling tired himself. He happened to glance over at the table right beside his father and saw what looked to be a letter with his name on it. He went over and picked it up and saw that it did, in fact, have his name on it and that it was from the Air Force.

He knew exactly what it was; it was his letter telling him how long he would be going back for. Though he knew what it was, he had no idea what the contents of it entailed. If he had to guess, probably ten or eleven months; he was only on leave for five days so it shouldn't be too long. Allison knew it would be longer than nine months, but he had assured her that it wouldn't be as long as before.

He took the letter to his room and sat down on his bed. He yawned as he opened it up and unfolded it. He began to read it and his heart stopped as he read the second line of the letter. His stomach dropped to his knees and al he could think was that there was no way this could be right; he had only been home for five days, not two weeks.

Going back for eighteen months was ridiculous; he had only been home for five days! Why had they given him the same amount of time as they gave him when he was home for two weeks? It didn't make any sense and he had seriously thought about calling and asking why. In the end, he didn't; all he could think about was how he was going to tell Allison.


Sad chapter :( What's going to happen with Ben and Allison? Will she be able to handle another eighteen months? Who knows! Stay tuned and review this shizz. Please. And thank you.