"Now what?" Therron was looking to Zim as if expecting some sort of definitive answer. Zim was still hearing mostly a loud ringing sound, so Therron was drowned out.
"Huh?" Zim blinked at him.
"What do we do now?" Therron repeated himself, but louder.
"Huh?" Zim shook himself, trying to get reoriented.
"Mpghjj,"
"Eh?" That was weird, he hadn't even seen Therron's mouth move that time. Was Therron telepathic? But bad at it? Because Zim still couldn't quite hear. Still, Therron had sounded a lot like Skoodge which raised all the more questions about Therron's psychic abilities.
"You're still sitting on Skoodge." Tenn pointed to the wreckage under Zim. Zim's antennae perked up, the ringing began to subside as he scurried to get off of the robust Invader who had broken his fall. So Therron wasn't psychic, Zim had just been hearing Skoodge. This made Zim feel much better.
"You okay?" Zim offered his good arm to Skoodge to help him up. Skoodge gave him a bit of a confused look, but took Zim's hand. Zim did well pulling Skoodge up (Sure Skoodge had also used his PAK legs to push off of the ground, but it was really Zim's incredible strength that had gotten him up).
"Y-yeah, I'm fine." Skoodge dusted himself off. "How are you?"
"Victorious, which is unsurprising." Zim puffed out his chest a bit proudly.
"Yeah, not surprised at all." Skoodge grinned at him before taking Zim into a big hug, careful of his arm. "You did it Zim! You beat IX!"
"I toasted him." Zim replied agreeably. "And Dib called my device pointless. Stupid human."
"Stupid human indeed," Skoodge let him go.
"Now, let's get CB hooked up to replace IX here, and hopefully get Irk back on track." Zim would probably need a hand, both literally and figuratively.
" What about the other Control Brains, father?" CB was lying on the ground on his back, neck craned to look in Zim's direction.
"What about them? IX is gone." Zim gestured to the pieces of metal and toast that were still raining from the ceiling. GIR had his head in his arms, trying to catch pieces of toast in his mouth. "The rebellion is squashed like a tiny Earth cockroach under Zim's mighty boot."
" Well, I doubt I would agree."
"Why do you not agree?" Zim looked annoyed.
" No, I mean, Control Brain I."
"Oh, yeah, that makes more sense." Zim shrugged. "Well, that is-"
" That is exactly the situation." There was a monotone voice from behind them as Zim saw a few of the dead-eyed Irkens standing in the hole he had made with Vero's ship.
" Oh hey... it is I, the Control Brain named I, not I as in me. Though I-as in me- am also here." CB waved to the possessed Irkens. " Your name is a pronoun and it is confusing. You should change it."
" Insolent, traitorous bot. Useless mix of coding and insanity, you are as defective as your creator!" The controlled Irkens surged forward, lifting their weapons as I spoke with bitterness.
" That is rude. You are being very rude. Father, tell him to be nice to me."
"Be nice to CB, he's a Control Brain now." Zim knew that technically CB was not a full Control Brain quite yet, but it was just a matter of plugging him in at this point. All was pretty much said and done. "Didn't you other Control Brains get the memo? We defeated IX. He is literally toast. I mean... parts of him are at least."
"Zim!?" Voel was limping over, Vero behind him, Xia carried between the two. She had definitely taken a hit, but it looked like she was alive for the time being. "What's going on!?"
" Look at you, falling apart." Control Brain I gestured to the survivors. " This is hardly a victory."
"Zim is not falling apart!" Zim could not believe he would have to explain his own amazingness to a Control Brain. It should already know these things. But, Zim was learning, that these Control Brains were all pretty shitty at their respective jobs. "Zim is doing fantastic!" The Irkens I was using to communicate, all simultaneously looked down at where Zim's arm should have been.
" Your arm is gone. " VI pointed out dryly, at least Zim knew there were two Control Brains among the possessed Irkens.
"Oh yeah, if anyone finds that, Zim would like it back." Zim looked to the others who all shrugged, apparent the arm was still lost.
"I haven't seen your arm but I also only have one eye right now, so I can only look half as much." Vero explained, Zim nodded, that made complete sense.
"Vero no. Be serious." Voel weakly glared at his smeet. "We're being attacked."
"Look this is becoming like a regular Tuesday for me, so I'm not sure what you want here, dad." Vero countered.
"It's not Tuesday, Vero." Voel blinked. "We're not even on Earth and those aren't Irken days of the week."
"Look, we took out your leader," Skoodge gestured to the bits if raining toast, "and we can do it again. Face it, your takeover has failed." He crossed his arms looking rather smug despite the array of weapons in his face.
" IX was not our leader, but rather a voice for a mutually agreed upon cause." It was clear the Control Brain was getting irate with them. Zim wasn't sure why. To Zim, it was pretty obvious that they had won. IX had been the primary threat, as far as Zim knew. " Now this foolish rebellion ends today. Any last words?"
" BANANAS!" GIR shouted.
"I'm hungry?" Vero looked to Voel for some sort of affirmation. Voel looked so tired that perhaps he couldn't be brought to care about their immanent deaths.
"Your last words shouldn't be: 'I'm hungry,' Vero, for Mothra's sake."
"But GIR already took: bananas."
"My last words are: stop it." Therron replied decisively.
"I think I want mine to be..." Tenn's antennae flattened as she thought about it, "ceiling sniper lives on in your spooches and in your ceilings."
"See Vero," Voel gestured to Tenn, "those are good fucking last words."
"Are you going to make your last words a comment about how much my last words suck?" Vero tilted his head to the side. "Seriously?"
"You know what?" Voel crossed his arms over his chest, "Yeah. I am. Fuck it. This is the hill I'm dying on."
"Zim's last word will be: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, because it is the longest word, that means Zim wins." There was clearly no better way to use his last word.
"I guess mine are just going to be: worth it." Skoodge shrugged. "I mean Zim already got the longest word.
" And mine will be: You are all shitty coworkers." CB quickly commented. " This has been a terrible first day and your orientation sucks."
" You know what? I changed my mind, no one gets last words." The Control Brain pointed his weapon directly at Zim.
"But we all already did." Zim replied pointedly. He paused realizing, that now if he was shot, those would be his last words. "Ah, fuck." He could hear the weapon click as it charged up. "I mean: Pneumomoultrami-"
There was the sound of a laser firing and Zim winced, only to realize he was fine. Well... mostly fine. His arm was still missing, but that problem had already been established.
"FREEZE!" The sound of a voice made Zim crack open one eye in time to see the weapon was no longer in the possessed Irken's hand, but rather, it lay smoking on the ground. The Irken had a gun to the back of its head, held by a Tangean woman with short, crimson hair, a scar going along the side of her face. Zim recognized her as General Andromeda, the High Council Chairman's bondmate. Zim looked around to see many Syndicate Tangeans coming out of the walls, weapons drawn, pointed at Control Brain I and the others. "Release your Irken host or be forcibly removed."
" You do not have the ability to forcibly-" Control Brain I didn't get to finish his sentence as the General shot him in the back of the head causing the Irken body to drop.
"I assume you guys can undo the whole possessed thing, right?" She looked at Zim and the others.
" That is me. I do that." CB half rolled his way to the Irken on the ground, bumping his face into the PAK. " Boop. No longer evil. I am good at my job."
"What is the meaning of this!?" VI spoke, backing up a step.
"You are all considered enemies of the Galactic Syndicate." The General didn't lower her weapon, but rapidly shifted it toward the Irken VI had used to speak. "Forfeit your hosts and cease all treasonous activities or face the full brunt of the Syndicate."
" The Syndicate are predominantly peaceful; you do not scare us." Control Brain I stood with VI, both glaring at the Syndicate Rangers surrounding them.
"Come on," Therron gave an exasperated sigh, "Look around. You're completely surrounded, the Syndicate back up has finally freaking arrived- I mean seriously- could you guys possibly have taken any longer ?"
"It's a long trip." The general replied flatly. "And we had to finish all of the deployment paperwork, in triplicate, and then there was the matter of the actual war declaration which wasn't actually a real war so we had to refile-"
"The point is that you failed to gain complete control before the Syndicate arrived. " Therron ignored Andromeda's long rant about paperwork, and continued to address the remaining traitors. "You have lost almost half of your army. You're computers, aren't you? Do the math."
There was a moment where the cold, calculating gaze of the Control Brains surveyed the group, trying to analyze the odds of victory with the sudden appearance of the Syndicate military. (Zim would have preferred the Syndicate to have been around much sooner, however, he should just be glad they had decided to show up at all.) Instantly, the Irken bodies collapsed to the ground as the Control Brains realized the odds had been stacked against them. CB reached over with the arm he still had, poking at the various PAKs.
" There is no evidence of Control Brains in these Irkens."
"They made the right choice, guess there is some logic to them after all." Skoodge looked vaguely amused by the near-death experience. There had been a lot of those today- Zim was also starting to find them more funny than traumatic.
"That was a good one-liner." He complimented Skoodge, genuinely impressed by the epic nature of his statement.
"Aw, thanks." Skoodge plopped back down beside him. Zim would have stood up after I and VI had decided not to shoot him, but he was so tired.
"Looks like you lot could use a medic." The Syndicate General surveyed Zim and his team.
"I need to also find my arm." Zim replied pointedly.
"Oh, I think GIR has it." Vero also decided to sit on Zim's other side.
"GIR! Come here!" Zim's voice carried well across the wreckage.
" IMMA COMMIN' MASTER!" The SIR came clambering over, its head under one arm, toast crumbs all over his mouth. Zim's arm was sticking out of the hole where GIR's neck should have been, surrounded by toast and debris.
"Can I have my arm back?"
" Ooookaaaaayyyyy." GIR sounded more disappointed than anything else. He reached in the hole and offered Zim a bloody piece of toast.
"No, that's toast. My arm GIR."
" This!?"
"No that's one of IX's weird eye-light things. It's an arm, it's the only thing in there that's fleshy."
" I GOT IT!"
"No, GIR that's a live badger- how long have you had that!?"
"Here," Skoodge reached in and grabbed the arm for Zim.
"Thank you," Zim waved the arm in GIR's face for a moment. "See? This ! This is an arm."
" Nooo that's a pizza!"
"No, GIR, it's really not."
"General, we have word that the Control Brains have been located and surrounded." The voice that spoke drew Zim's attention. Climbing through the wreckage was a slight beat up Captain Rose. Her arm was in a sling, her shoulder bandaged up, she definitely had seen some combat. Zim's antennae perked up.
"Captain Rose!"
"Of course, it is," Therron sighed, shaking his head, "she had to see if I was okay. It's almost cute how obsessed with me she is."
"Well, look who held up their end of the plan." The Captain grinned, looking at Zim and the others, surveying the damages. "Looks like we had the easier time, and that's saying something."
"Is Dib okay?"
"I'm fine, Zim." The voice had come from Zim's new and improved side-entrance for the Massive that he had expertly made in order to reach IX. Zim blinked, struggling to his feet as he saw Dib standing only a few feet behind Captain Rose. "Flattered you asked."
"Smelly human!" Zim ran to Dib, hugging him tightly. Dib was like Zim's stupid, very ugly smeet. He didn't want anything bad to have happened to the squishy Earth-pest while Zim hadn't been there to protect him. "What took you so long to get here!?" Zim pulled away, instantly offended that he had been made to worry.
"Dude, we're like ten stories in the fucking air, it took a bit to get up here."
"What are you talking about? I flew you up her.? We just had trouble finding the relay point." Dib's potential bondmate, the medic, poked his head out from behind Dib. Dib had some bandages on his cheek, some of the facial hair had been singed, but he looked mostly okay. The medic was bandaged around the shoulder and chest.
"Zim sees you suffered a slight stabbing while he was gone," Zim noted, giving Lor the once-over. Lor turned to Dib, suddenly looking quite smug.
"See?"
"Don't you start-"
"' Slightly stabbed'. It's totally a thing."
"It's not a thing, hun! Zim don't humor him."
"'Slightly stabbed' is totally a thing." Zim had to agree with the medic. After all, he was a medic. Didn't that mean he knew about injuries and biology better than anyone else?
"Lor, you were impaled !" Dib didn't seem to agree with the concept.
" I was impaled too, as was Voel. We could start a club." CB's body was resting on top of the unconscious Irkens.
"Oh, clubs are fun, I like clubs." Carrius came in from behind his brother. "What kind of club?"
" It is a being impaled club."
"Oh shit! I got impaled once on Zephulon 09 by a rogue security droid."
" Then Carrius can be in our club."
"Heck yeah!" The Romulan pumped his fist excitedly, wincing as he did so. "Ow still sore from that whole X fight."
" Do you wish to be in our club Gaz?"
"No." Gaz was standing off to the side, looking at a console in her hands. Zim hadn't even heard her come in, truly she was a master of stealth. "I don't get impaled. I do the impaling."
" That is fair."
"Zim, your arm..." Dib had somehow gotten over his jealousy at not being invited into CB's New (very cool sounding) club, and was examining Zim's injuries.
"It is fine, stinky Earth-pig. Zim found his arm and it can be reattached." Zim waved the arm about as he spoke, as if emphasizing a point.
"Is that...?" Dib looked to Lor.
"Oh yeah, it's true. We can put it right back on. It's actually really easy." Lor assured him.
"Just like my arms!" Dib's father had now joined the group. He and the mother seemed to be in pretty good shape compared to the others, but Zim did notice the robot arms that Dib's father was using, seemed to be made of a Syndicate metal. Probably not the same ones he started with, if Zim had to guess.
"Dad your arms are robotic." Dib sighed, looking almost as tired as Voel.
"I know, aren't they great?" To show off his point, Dib's father flexed one of the arms. The redheaded human woman he was bonded to, wrapped her arms around the cybernetic limb.
"Amazing darling," Moira must have been easily impressed if she thought Syndicate prosthetics were great. Zim would need to show her the Irken ones, they were far better. "So, you said your arm just reattaches?" She turned her gaze to Zim. "Can I see?"
"Mom don't be weird." Dib tried to protest, but Zim shrugged.
"Sure, but it's a process." He looked to Lor. "You're a medic, right?"
"Yeah...?" Lor tilted his head uncertainly toward the side as Zim waved his arm around trying to get Lor to see where he was going with his sentence. "Oh!" It took a bit but Lor seemed to catch on. "Hold on, I gotchya." Lor was at Zim's side in a literal blink of an eye, pulling out his medical equipment and getting to work. Zim just needed him to lay the foundation for recovery, the PAK would take care of the rest in due time.
"Awww I get to see you working?" The General shoved a few of the Rangers to the side so she could get a look at Lor. "I have to get pictures for Tiri~"
"Mom, I'm trying to focus." Lor's face heated up as he tried to ignore the fact that the General was gushing over him. Zim had nearly forgotten that they were a family unit, seeing as how they were not the same species.
"So, earthling," Zim decided to ignore the General taking pictures, in favor of talking to Dib. He was very glad the human had not maintained permanent damage. "What do you think of Irk? Is she not the most splendid, beautiful planet?"
"It's cold as fuck." Dib remarked dryly.
"Untrue!" Zim pointed aggressively with his good arm. Lor carefully readjusted him back into a neutral position. "You just come from a hot, sweaty, rock!"
"How do you have two suns and somehow I'm still freezing my ass off? No wonder you guys wear those body suits."
"If you wore your standard-issue uniform correctly. You wouldn't be cold." Captain Rose remarked from behind the group. "They're temperature regulated."
"Yeah, but they look cooler like this." Dib grinned at her and she shook her head, but Zim couldn't help but notice a smile.
"Irken bodysuits are also temperature regulated." He pointed out. "And far more fashionable."
"Matter of taste, I suppose." Dib was clearly trying to be funny. Zim wanted to inform Dib that telling lies was only funny when Zim did it, but today was a day of celebration. Zim could teach Dib the subtle nuances of comedy at a later point.
"This whole ordeal could have been a whole lot worse, Almighty Tallest V," the General had stopped taking photos and was now kneeling down to talk to Vero who, while Zim had been distracted with Dib, had been doodling in the dust with CB. They had a drawing of both of them, riding on stuffed moose plushes, carrying lances and fighting what appeared to be M.
"Eh?" Vero blinked at her.
"The thing with the Control Brains...? The war...?" The General seemed uncertain of Vero's strange response.
"Wait... do you think I'm still the Tallest?"
"I mean..." she looked to the other Irkens, then back to Vero, "legally speaking..."
"Oh shit, no. I'm not Tallest anymore. I mean, I assume Xia isn't either," he gestured to the unconscious form on the floor. "And since we came in as a unit, we should leave as a unit."
"Can you just quit?" The General seemed skeptical.
"Dunno, but I just did."
"Typically speaking," there was a voice from behind them that chilled Zim to his core the moment he heard it. "No." With long, striding steps, Sym pushed her way through the Tangean guards toward the center of the group. That had been IX's go-to form. Seeing her made Zim think of the Control Brain. "According to Law 2156 L, subsection Gamma 12: A Tallest cannot resign unless they are killed." Oh. This was worse. This was regular Sym. Maybe it wasn't too late to put one of the Control Brains back inside her. "However, you were declared "as good as dead" by Almighty Tallest X shortly after you ran off with the Vortion." Sym had her little reader out, scrolling endlessly through the Irken Legal Code. "Also... you technically committed high treason. So, I might be able to create a loophole." Sym was being... nice? Maybe she was still possessed.
"Really? That's actually fantastic. This job sucks. Everyone has been trying to kill me since I got it." Vero looked relieved. Zim was a tad disappointed, it would have been nice to have his smeet as Tallest. That could have made him Tallest by proxy whenever Vero was grounded, which judging from the time Zim had spent with him, would be a lot.
"That is pretty standard Tallest stuff," Voel informed him. "Therron and I had tons of assassination attempts made against us in the early days. They don't usually make it as far as IX did though." He shrugged. "Well, it's fine, you have us back now. We can take our positions, I guess."
"Not so fast," Sym held up her hand and Voel and Therron looked as if they had been respectively slapped in the face. "You two are dead as well, thereby it relieves you of your Tallest duties."
"Excuse me?" Voel narrowed his eyes.
"Sym, come on, we're right here ." Therron gestured at himself in frustration.
"My apologies Dead Tallests Red and Purple, but I don't make the laws; I simply enforce them." She didn't sound all that sorry, but Zim wasn't sure Sym was capable of actual empathy.
"Don't call us that-Sym we're not dead!" Voel was almost too flustered to get his thoughts out coherently.
"That isn't my call." Sym looked back down to her reader, practically ignoring Voel altogether.
"Sym, for the love of Mothra," Therron grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her lightly, "why are you like this!?" She looked at his hands for a moment before plucking his clawed fingers off of her, looking as if she had touched something foul.
"Rules are rules."
"Rules are shit and you know it; come on Sym do we get nothing for saving you!?" Voel demand.
"You get my gratitude; but also, technically Tenn saved me."
"Haha, yeah," Tenn grinned, looking nostalgic, "I shot you in the face."
"You did, and I still have a headache, so I ask you not to do it again, thank you." She turned back to the others.
"This is ridiculous, Sym, you are denying the Irkens their beloved Tallests for a stupid technicality!" Therron crossed his arms over his chest. "It's a crime! That's what it is! We. Were. Loved!" He looked to Skoodge, Zim, and Tenn for validation.
"You don't want me to answer that, I promise you." Skoodge replied dryly, the response almost instantaneous. Therron looked aghast by the answer.
"You don't mean that, Skoodge."
"Oh, I absolutely do."
"I liked you guys okay," Tenn tried to assure them, "I mean I liked when I got that promotion from you to the Academy!"
"See! Tenn adores us!" Therron knelt down, wrapping an arm around Tenn's shoulders, pulling her close.
"Oof, I didn't say that."
"I mean, not being Tallest wouldn't be the worst thing ever..." Voel was looking thoughtful as Therron turned to face him, clearly aghast to have heard the words that came out if his mouth. "Hey Sym, could I still be a General even if I'm technically dead?"
"There is no law against it. Assuming our new Tallest agrees, I don't see why not." She nodded.
"But who is next?" Therron still sounded unconvinced.
"Gil."
"Waiter Gil? From Floogian's!?" Voel perked up instantly.
"I think he is actually a greeter, not a waiter but, yes."
" SYM !" Voel was the one who grabbed her this time, shaking her more aggressively than Therron had done. "Are you fucking serious!? Did Tenn's bullet knock your fucking senses out of you!? Have you MET Gil!?"
"Unfortunately..." she cast her gaze downward. "Look, I don't particularly like it either, but laws are laws."
"No. Fuck it! No! Give us our old jobs back!" Voel demanded.
"Yeah! Give them back Sym! We order you! As your Tallests !" Therron seconded.
"Woah, not to interrupt you guys," a voice came from behind the Syndicate Rangers who were still clearing out the debris from the damaged Massive as Lor tended to the various injuries. "But um... We got a situation on the outside." Zim blinked, trying to figure out who was speaking before Zeke made his way to the front buy shoving taller Syndicate members aside.
"It's crazy out there," Sizz-Lorr added, trailing behind Zeke. "We're trying to keep everyone calm with our hot, Fresh-From-Earth menu items, but we're all out of Earth potatoes! They are selling like Earth hotcakes- which coincidentally- we have also run out of."
"Wait! You're out of Earth potatoes AND those delicious, fluffy flat-cakes!?" Therron swooned, looking faint. "This isn't going to do! As Tallest I order you-" he was cut off by Zeke.
"And there are like a ton of pissed-off smallers out there that wanna talk to the Tallests."
"- and it is a shame that we died and can't take the position anymore. I'm sure beautiful, handsome, waiter Gil will be able to charm them back to submission." Therron finished his thought, stepping passively back into the group. It seemed the idea of facing the consequences of their negligence was making Therron second guess his position. It was almost a shame that he was getting demoted. After all, Therron wasn't completely bad at his job. He was just a better talker than he was a leader. He had his uses. Same with Voel. If it weren't for the temper and bloodlust, he would have been fine.
"Therron, you know Gil can't handle this," Voel released Sym, turning back to his former co-ruler. "Gil talks to the Irken on the bathroom sign! He hasn't figured out doors and our doors are automatic! He STILL BELIEVES IN GODZILLA CLAUSE!"
"Well, I don't want to get yelled at and blamed for stuff!" Therron retorted indignantly, "I'm sensitive , Voel! I only respond to positive reinforcement!"
"Vero you have to take over," Voel insisted. "You can't let Gil be our leader."
"What!? No way! I don't want to be yelled at either!" Vero waved his hands in front of himself, trying to keep Voel from grabbing him and dragging him out.
"I thought the people loved you!" Voel countered.
"Yeah, I was a brief, but well-beloved leader. I'm not ruining that!" Vero backed up, but Voel managed to grab him, trying to force him to face the crowds outside of the Massive."
"Go easy on him, his eye needs to be replaced, and you still need to let your stab-wound heal up." Lor separated the two by force, easily pulling them apart. Zim sighed, this was taking too long.
"Very well, Zim will do it. I will be Tallest since none if you can agree." There. It was just like when CB and GIR would fight over the TV remote. Then Zim got to pick the channel.
"Zim... y... you're not Tall..." Voel stopped trying to fight Lor to get back to Vero, and turned to look at Zim.
"Who says you have to be tall? Zim just defeated IX. I literally made a Control Brain," he pointed to CB who was back to laying in the floor.
"Oh, that's a Control Brain?" Sym looked uncertainly at CB. "I see."
"Yeah, when it wants to be," Voel waved off the comment, "Zim you literally can't be Tallest. You don't fit the one qualification."
"I would be better than Gil," Zim replied pointedly
"Ehhhh..." Therron shrugged
"I mean infinitely so, yes," at least Voel agreed with Zim, "but still-"
" Father, come here." CB raised up his one arm toward Zim. " Come here and let me hug you. I am lonely."
"Very well." Zim understood that CB was still new to the Control Brain thing and it was going to take some adjustment. It was best to humor his strange requests at this early phase. The last thing they wanted to do was to give CB a complex that might make him turn evil. Zim knelt down and hugged the broken, metal body, CB's good arm patted him on the back of his PAK. Zim felt something change inside of him.
" Surprise. You are now the Tallests. Happy Father's Day!"
"Is it Father's Day?" Zim had lost track of the passage of time on Earth.
" I dunno. Maybe."
"Huh," Sym surveyed Zim for a moment, brown eyes looking him up and down. He could tell she was scanning him. "So you are." She gracefully bowed at the waist, wiggling her antennae in respect. "Hello my Tallest."
"Are you shitting me right now, Sym?" Voel stared at her blankly.
"He's not. Even. Tall." Therron paused dramatically after each and every word, slamming a fist into his open palm for emphasis. "Look at him, Sym, look! If you can even see him-that is- because I mean he's so short!"
"Technically, it isn't written anywhere that the Tallest has to be tall. It has always been more of an implied rule," she was back to going through her reader, reading over the long strings of laws that had been made by Tallests since the beginning. "He is coded as Tallest, so that makes him Tallest based on our most basic definition. It's just a title after all. When Vero surpasses you in height, it would not have stripped you of your title."
"You mean if Vero surpassed me," Voel corrected, "because he won't. Ever. It's actually illegal."
"What definition of "Tallest" are you using that lets a shorter be a Tallest!?" Therron demanded angrily. "They have to be tall! It's in the name, Sym! I mean, sweet Mothra are you defective !?"
"Law 1: No subsection Required: A Tallest is an Irken with Tallest's coding, implemented by a Control Brain." She recited the text as if she had read it a thousand times before. "That is a Control Brain, is it not?"
"Debatable." Therron remarked snidely.
"This is great! I can work with this," Zeke ignored Therron, which seemed to be something Zeke was remarkably good at doing. "I see the headline now: Almighty Tallest- a Shorter Who Cares?" He pulled out his own reader and began typing excitedly. "Control Brain Conqueror Rises from Hero to Tallest. What's your Tallest name going to be?"
"Zim." Zim hadn't really thought about it before, but why change perfection?
"That's just your regular name! At least pick a color or something!" Therron sighed heavily, rubbing the area between his eyes.
"Zim is already a name that strikes fear and respect into the spooches of Irkens everywhere; changing it would be dumb." Zim replied confident that Therron would see reason. The ex-leader in purple let out a long, aggravated groan.
"That's not how it works Zim!"
"It is now, because I'm Tallest, and I say so." Zim looked over at Sym, "right?"
"Yes, My Tallest." She bowed respectfully.
"SYM FOR THE LOVE OF MOTHRA-" Again Therron was cut off by Zeke.
"I'll be your publicist, buddy."
"Publicist?" Zim blinked.
"Think of it," Zeke wrapped an arm around Zim's shoulders, needing a boost from his PAK legs to reach, Zim winced a bit.
"Careful of his arm, it's still reattaching." Lor looked up from bandaging Tenn's shoulders.
"The Irkens out there, a lot of them are scared, confused, angry." Zeke continued seamlessly. "They have a lot of emotions that they don't know what to do with. I can tell them what to do with all those bottled feelings. Mainly, I can tell them to turn all this confusion into celebration and devotion to their new hero and Tallest. I'm great with the public."
"It's true," Skoodge piped up, "Zeke articles were incredibly popular before I left Irk."
"I thought we outlawed them!" Therron protested.
"You did, just most of us didn't care." Skoodge waved him off. "I can help you too, I think I still have a lot of Irkens who like me since I was a huge part in Impending Doom II." He put a hand on Zim's good arm. "I think you will be a great Tallest."
"You promote me to your publicist, and I can have the Irken populace hanging on your every word in no time." Zeke assured him. Zeke had been helpful in the past, though Zim had found him a bit sensationalist for his own tastes, Skoodge seemed to like him, and that was a pretty solid recommendation. Zim trusted Skoodge more than anyone.
"Aren't you a farmer? Shouldn't you farm something?" Therron huffed, not enjoying being tossed aside.
"I was born for media, buddy." Zeke smirked, "Our Tallest can clearly see that."
"Very well, Zeke us now Zim's publicist. Skoodge is Zim's right hand. Tenn, do you still want that teaching position?" Zim looked over to the Ceiling Sniper who was now patched up.
"Yes please." She nodded.
"Tenn is now a teacher at the Elite Academy. Voel, you are going to be my head General! Your knowledge of combat and strategy is better suited for a position at my side." He knew that was the position that Voel had once wanted, long ago, before the deaths of Miyuki and Spork had forced him into Tallest.
"R... really?" Voel blinked. He looked... happy? Zim thought he saw a hint of wetness in Voel's eyes. "Yeah... that works. I can be a General."
"Not just a General, Voel- my head General. You will be at my side. And Therron, you're going to be our chief diplomat. "
"Your what now?" Therron looked both angry and confused.
"My Diplomat, you will go to other planets and governments, like our friends the Syndicate here," he gestured to General Andromeda who was filling out paperwork while the Syndicate Rangers cleared the area. "And you will make sure we stay on good terms with them and establish mutually beneficial agreements." Irk has never been big into diplomacy before, it was something Miyuki had started and that Therron and Voel had attempted to continue after her death; however, Xia had all but nuked their alliances. This would be good for Irk. They needed friends to protect them while they recovered, and while Therron was narcissistic and lazy, he was charismatic. Zim had seen him in action many times throughout their adventures. He had potential. Just... maybe not as a leader.
"I dunno about this, Zim..." Therron began.
"You'll get to attend lots of lavish parties with expensive food." Skoodge pointed out.
"And I'm in. Great idea, Tallest Zim." Therron was easily swayed.
"And Tak is banished forever." Zim added thoughtfully.
"Excuse me!?" Tak's voice pierced through the crowd as she stormed forward. "Tallest or not that is a load of shit and you know it! My ship helped us defeat Control Brain X!"
"Is that true?" Zim looked to Dib who nodded.
"She was a big part of that success."
"Ugh, fine." Zim rolled his eyes. "Tak you can be a Syndicate Ambassador on Irk. I assume as a First Officer; you don't intend to leave the Syndicate."
"I..." she blinked looking around at her fellow officers, "I mean... no. Don't get me wrong, some of the rules are stupid and the paperwork is an actual nightmare... but I'm learning that Irk really isn't really that different."
"It's not," Vero piped up, "you should have seen the Taco Tuesday incident on the Massive. It was awful. Irkens got lunched into space. I caused it."
"Yes, I will be the voice of the Syndicate here on Irk. Highly respected by two governments!" Tak seemed pleased with her new position.
"We'll work something out." General Andromeda nodded to her. "We're just glad this is over and we can keep the peace between the Empire and the Syndicate."
"Your actions throughout this ordeal will be rewarded, " Zim assured her, "and Vero, do you still want to be a PAK technician?"
"Um..." Vero looked a little confused, "Yeah?"
"Cool. Vero you are going to be a PAK technician. Zim will send you to school for your training. You need to keep up with your Elite skills too though. I saw you fighting Xia. It will be a waste to not use you. So, while you can still be a PAK-tech, you'll specialize as combat PAK-tech."
"I can live with that." Vero replied happily.
"Q, we keep our end of the bargain. On Irk, you are a hero. Consider yourself a friend among the planets of the Empire. M, there will be consequences for your actions, but there is room for you to work off your debt to us in security work." Parasites were great for picking out Invaders from other races. "Also, has anyone figured out what to do with Earth?"
"We were thinking about Initiating it into the Syndicate." General Andromeda spoke up. "It will be a... slow process, seeing as how primitive it is, but it's on our list."
"Oh. Very well, it is closer to you than us." Zim only kind of wanted Earth for the food and TV shows anyway. It was a little too polluted and archaic for his tastes. "Dib, are you planning to stay with the Syndicate as well?"
"Yeah, I think so. If they let me. They're Intergalactic peace keepers, that's pretty fucking awesome." Dib looked to the Captain who smiled.
"We'll be happy to keep you aboard. Your family too."
"Hurray, the space government likes us." Moira clapped her hands together excitedly.
"That makes one government! The one back on Earth has been a little too... regulate-y." Dib's father made quoting marks with his fingers in the air. "I think we could use a change."
"Plus, alien technology," Moira added.
"I could make an even bigger robot-car!" The professor took his wife excitedly into his arms, "imagine this, my love: it's a mech suit that also turns into a car- but the car is also a submarine!"
"Do you guys have that bitching VR system from Acrilia?" Gaz spoke over her parents' plans.
"The GX 9000?" Lor blinked, "yeah."
"Yeah, we're with you guys." Gaz went back to her game.
"You'll need to address the public, My Tallest. " Sym had waited politely until Zim had finished his miniature version of the Great Assigning. It was strange to hear Sym being polite toward him, but he supposed he was going to need to get used to it.
"Right, of course. Zim is great at speeches." Zim puffed his chest out proudly.
"I mean, you're better than those two were," Zeke agreed. "Just remember, make the Irkens feel safe, secure, and calm about what just happened."
"I'll set up an emergency broadcast." Sym began typing furiously.
"Ya know- Sym, right?" Zeke tilted his hat in her direction, "we're going to working real closely in the future. Perhaps, I could court you as a potential bondmate."
"I'm interested in the Fry Lord, actually." She didn't look up from the screen.
"Really?" Sizz-Lorr perked up suddenly.
"You're tall, well established, and helped a bunch of Irkens escape manipulation from the Control Brains." Sym explained as if she were giving a lecture to an enthralled bunch of students. "I don't know why you're surprised."
"Irkens can have two bonded, just saying." Zeke suggested.
"Maybe." Sym finally looked back up. "We'll see how you do in your new job first. Now," she held her reader toward herself, "this is Chief of Agenda Sym reporting to you live from the ruins of the Massive. I know you are all deeply confused and frightened by what has transpired on Irk- but rest easy knowing that it is over. The Control Brains have been defeated, peace has been restored with the Syndicate, our Dead Tallests have been located and will be reintroduced into the Collective as living. And we owe it all to our hero, and new leader: Almighty Tallest Zim!"
Sweet Mothra, that had a ring to it.
Sym turned the reader toward Zim, he cleared his throat, straightening up.
"Hello Irkens! It is I, your Tallest Zim- not Control Brain I who as we learned- was a bit of a dick." Zim began to walk toward the hole in the ship. "I know things are confusing right now, but know you are safe. You are being looked over by the best Irkens you know. Almighty Tallests Red, Purple, and V will stop being dead shortly. Then, they will be serving beside me- sort of like the Syndicate High Council, but with a lot less useless debating- no offense." He glanced toward the Syndicate members around him.
"We won't get mad for you telling the truth, "The General mused.
"I know you're all probably very confused. I understand that a lot has happened. The Control Brains, the backbone of Irk, turned against us. But know, they were dealt with accordingly. I turned one of them into toast, kind of." Zim could see Irkens gathered below him, staring up at the gaping hole in the ship. They looked uncertain. "We will still have Control Brains, but we are reduced to only two, for the time being. These Control Brains are our most trusted friends who helped us against the rebellion. That being said, there will be some changes from here on out. Some of them may be a hard adjustment, but as your Tallest, I know we can do this, together."
"How... how did you get to be Tallest?" A small Irken shouted up at him from below. "You aren't even tall."
"Turns out that isn't a requirement!" Zim shouted right back, forgetting he was being recorded and his voice was being amplified accordingly.
"Oh." The Irken called back. "Ok!"
"I, for one, have been led by Tallest Zim before!" Another Irken spoke up, Zim used his ocular implants to zoom in on who it was. "He saved my life! Me! A lowly maintenance worker!" It was Shi, one of the three Irkens Zim had snagged off of the street. "And Delivery Driver Glorch, and PAK-technician Rin too! He helped us escape brainwashing even though we're smallers!"
There was a murmur of approval from the crowd.
"Zim also gave a speech that convinced some of my staff and myself to flee and escape the Control Brains," Sizz-Lorr volunteered. It was nice that he was helping out since Zim had stranded him to the Foodening not once- but twice. Sizz-Lorr deserved a promotion or something after this was all over. And maybe a paid vacation.
"Also," Skoodge came up behind him, standing straight, arms behind his back, looking like an Elite more than ever before, "he's literally coded as Tallest. Check for yourselves." There was a brief silence as the Irkens stared up at him, scanning him.
"Well, I'm convinced!" One of the smallers in the back piped up.
"For Tallest Zim!" Skoodge pumped his fist into the air.
"FOR TALLEST ZIM!" The Irkens below went wild, cheering loudly below. Therron, Voel, Vero, and Tenn joined him in the gaping, makeshift entryway.
"Today begins a new Irk!" The cheers grew louder as Zim spoke, "a better Irk! An Irk with Allies across the universe! An Irk with a new type of Collective! And an Irk with EARTH POTATOES AND HOTCAKES!" Below him, the roar of excited cheers was deafening.
"You know, I'm starting to think Irkens will cheer for anything." Therron looked at the Irkens jumping and celebrating in the streets.
"MOOSE!" He shouted into the audience. The Irkens cheered even louder. Therron shrugged.
"Huh, we're kind of an easily excited group."
"So now that you're the Tallest, what's next?" Skoodge looked back to Zim, who was still soaking up the energy below him. This was more than he had ever dreamed, Irkens cheering his name in the streets. Celebrating his greatness. He turned to Skoodge, smile on his lips.
"I have some plans. Good ones."
"Oh?" Skoodge smiled back. "Can I know them?"
"Everyone will, eventually, but first: CB!" He held up his finger.
" Yes father?"
"Good job today."
" Thank you, father."
"You too GIR."
" I ATE TOAST!"
"You sure did." That was going to be a pain for Zim to clean out of GIRs gears later, but he had earned this.
" Oh, Father?"
"Yes CB?"
" What are you planning to do with the baby that lives in your base? I mean, I have been feeding it, but I do not know what our endgame is here."
"Oh shit," Zim's antennae stuck straight up, "it's still in there?"
" Affirmative, Father."
"Well first we deal with the baby that so expertly got past my security system-"
" Between you and me," CB leaned over to GIR, " I wasn't trying to stop it. I thought it was a Nhar-Gh'ok but it was just a regular baby."
" I didn't stop it eitheeeeeer!" GIR admitted.
"Right," Zim suddenly recalled why his security system was so poor, "anyway! First, we deal with the baby, then Zim has some changes for Irk! Lots of new, improved, changes."
Only 2-3 chapters left! 0o0
Can you believe it!:?
