"Oh wow..." Dib had gotten rather skilled at piloting ships for the Syndicate during his five years on Capital Planet, so he was thrilled when the opportunity had arisen for him to take a piloting mission. It was simple enough: escort a special type of water purification system that could help cleanse even large bodies of polluted water. What made him excited wasn't the nature of the mission itself- though it did leave him feeling rather important- but rather, the location.

"You miss it?" He felt a weight on the back of his chair and looked up to see Lor, arms folded, leaning over him. Dib looked back as the blue and green planet drew closer.

"Yeah... kinda." It wasn't like there was much left for him on Earth. His family had already moved to Capital Planet, all of his friends lived on other planets, and his career was entirely based in space. However, there was an overwhelming sense of nostalgia that washed over him as he stared down at Earth. "Hard to believe I've been gone so long."

"I am glad you get to go back to visit." Lor draped his arms around Dib's shoulders as he leaned over him. "Mom and mom thought this mission might be fun for you."

"I like your moms, they're fun. " Dib mused.

"You don't have to flatter me, we're already engaged." Lor retorted back, playfully.

"I'm serious. Your moms are interesting, a little intimidating, but interesting." Lor's parents had pretty much been a driving force in helping Dib get established off world. However, Tiriana had a habit of being so overly formal that she came across as insincere- and Andromeda was a hot head. (He could see where Carrius got his gun obsession, that much was evident.) "I mean they weren't scared off by meeting my family, and that says something."

"My moms have to deal with all sorts of aliens from across the universe, your family will have to do way worse to scare them off."

"My dad set fire to your kitchen,"

"Yeah but,"

"And garden,"

"Well yeah-"

"And garage,"

"Okay, true. But-"

"And somehow also the bathroom?"

"I remember-"

"And all of that was just on the first dinner we all had together."

"I know." Lor put a hand over Dib's mouth. "I was there too. But in your dad's defense, he did kill that space-spider. And mom was egging him on." Dib made an attempt to respond but was muffled by Lor's hand. The medic lowered his hand away and Dib laughed.

"We should really stop them from hanging out." He began to lower the ship down.

"I mean, probably." Lor finally stood straight up, watching as they pierced into Earth's atmosphere. "Man, I have missed the food here. Do you think we can stop for pizza?"

"We'll probably have time." Dib assured him, having grown accustomed to Lor's nearly insatiable appetite over the years. "So where am I supposed to land this thing, anyway?"

"Just on a roof or something. The ship is light weight enough."

"Not like an airport? I thought Earth was Syndicate now..." Dib had not been following up on things as much as he should have been since his family had moved to Capital Planet. Lor made a face.

"I mean you can do it on an airport roof? Look... we're still working things out with Earth. The humans have been... complicated." Lor shrugged. "I dunno much about it, but it has mom pretty frustrated."

"Won't people freak out about seeing a spaceship then?"

"Apparently not."

"Huh." Dib had to admit, he had been a little bit excited to see how Earth had changed now that people knew he had been right about aliens after all. So, Lor's confusing update had him slightly concerned about what exactly he was getting into. As the ship swept down over the familiar cars, streets, and towering buildings of his home planet, he tried to look for any immediate, noticeable changes. He did see the Syndicate logo on a few billboards here and there, but he was moving too fast to read them. He landed the ship on a broad, open roof of a department store. People were looking up, but no one seemed to be confused or even bothered by the obvious space ship. He watched as eventually onlookers went back about their business without so much as a second thought. Dib parked the ship, getting to his feet and stretching out. He had been sitting for far too long. He opened the door to the vessel, disembarking into the sweltering heat of summer. "I did not miss this." Suddenly, Dib found himself craving the climate-controlled Capital Planet.

"I did! I can smell the food from here!" Lor had followed him outside, carrying the water purifier on his shoulder with ease despite its immense mass.

"How?" Dib sniffed the air and was only met by the dry, hot smell of dusty pavement. He was grateful now, more than ever, for the temperature regulated fabric of his uniform.

"Super senses." Lor jumped off of the roof, floating his way down. "I am starving."

"You can't use your powers like that!" Dib felt his heart seize in his chest. Lor must have become accustomed to his life back at home. "I mean-" then again, Dib had been gone for quite some time. "Can you?"

"I... hope so." Lor looked around, but no one really seemed to be paying him much mind. Dib scaled his way down from the roof, glad for his superior reflexes as his feet landed on the pavement below. "People don't really seem to care what we do." Lor noted.

"We should check in with the Syndicate station here." Dib pulled up a holographic screen with the details of the mission projected for him. "Get an update of how to interact with the locals." He scanned the little map. "Did you guys really have to set up one in Houston?"

"That's where my accent is from." Lor piped up, cheerfully, "and it's where all humans phone in their problems."

"Come again?" Dib honestly wasn't sure where most of Lor's Earth-related knowledge has stemmed from, but even after many years together, he could still be dumbfounded by some of the things that came out of the medic's mouth. "What are you talking abou-AH!" Dib had turned a corner only to be greeted with a large, inflatable of a grizzled looking old man with a cigar hanging out of his mouth. He had rosey cheeks, twinkling eyes, was dressed from head to toe in camouflage, and carried a red sack chocked full of guns. "Oh fuck," Dib had a hand over his chest.

"You okay?" Lor looked at the inflatable as if expecting it to grow fangs and attack.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It just startled me is all." Dib waved him off. "Babe, what is today, like, in Earth time?"

"July twenty fourth." Lor replied looking at the watch on his wrist.

"Texmas eve." Dib let out a sigh.

"Oh fun! I love Earth holidays!" Lor seemed more excited than Dib expected. It was entirely possible Lor had no idea about the holiday, but Dib couldn't rule out the possibility that he was just excited in general because of the food holidays often promised.

"Do you even know a lot about Texmas?"

"Not a lot, no. But I did celebrate it twice while I was pretending to be a human. The Young Texans Club hosted a big Texmas party."

"Young Texans Club? Is that a thing?"

"Yeah. It was totally a thing back on campus."

"No. You just made that up." Dib had not remembered any such club existing and he had been at the school much longer than Lor had even been on Earth.

"Nuh uh. You just don't remember it because you were kind of a shut in before we started hanging out." Lor countered. Dib paused, reflecting on his early college life.

"Touche, Briar."

"But this is good! It's a holiday! That means holiday food, decorations, and music~ I love it when the humans get all festive!" Lor spun around, admiring the somewhat off-putting (in Dib's opinion) decorations of the bearded man in a cowboy hat and camouflage, riding with robotic bison and holding a severed robot head.

"Please don't say: "the humans", hun. Shouldn't we be trying to blend in if Earth isn't fully integrated yet?" While Dib admired Lor's enthusiasm, he wanted to make sure they were not going to draw unwanted attention. After all, back when he was younger, he would gladly have hunted Lor down for something like that.

"I don't think it matters..." Lor looked unconcerned. "Can we do a little bit of tourism stuff? Look at the decorations? Maybe watch the Texmas parade? I hear it's fun!"

"Tourism on my own planet?" Dib sighed, though he was smiling just a bit. "I suppose, after all is said and done with this mission, we can take some time to enjoy the festivities. Who knows?" He looked around at the humans running about with their bison horn hats, and camouflage shirts. "This might be fun." He saw Lor's face light up with excitement.

"Great! I will order a pizza to celebrate!" He put the purifier on the ground, not even looking winded despite the stifling Texas heat.

"Celebrate?" Dib echoed.

"Yeah! Celebrate our impromptu vacation!" He put an arm around Dib's shoulders, grinning excitedly. "When was the last time you had Bloaty's?"

"You have a point." Dib had missed the greasy, unhealthy, 'food' that the overcrowded, dirty fast-food joints had to offer. The Syndicate was more about healthy living, and though the food from the various alien cultures was delicious, there was something about Earth food that made Dib's mouth water. "But shouldn't we deliver this first?"

"It's not like Bloaty's is out if our way." Lor tapped his wrist and a map of the area projected from his watch. There was a Bloaty's Pizza Hog with a circle drawn around it. They weren't far from it at all.

"You really thought this out, didn't you?" Dib was more amused than anything else. Good to know Earth had at least won over the Syndicate medic with its food.

"I think you underestimate how much I think about that pizza." He put his hands both on Dib's shoulders facing him. "Please?"

"Fine." Dib pretended to heave a defeated sigh. "Go get some pizza and we can eat it while we deliver this purifier."

"Thank you thank you thank you!" He leaned in kissing Dib deeply, nearly knocking the Clone off of his feet. "What do you want?"

"Large Bloaty's original. I can have leftovers- assuming you don't eat them all."

"Hey!" Lor looked offended, "I am good about asking first!"

"You are. Sometimes." Dib smirked. "Now go get your pizza."

"Our pizza."

"Our pizza." Dib confirmed. "I'll keep an eye on this." He patted the top of the purifier. He doubted they could lug the thing into a packed restaurant without getting sticky handprints all over it from the young patrons. "Not like anyone else can lift it anyway, but be quick."

"I always am!" And in a flash, Lor was gone. Dib sighed, pulling out his phone, and beginning to mindlessly browse through the Syndicate's News App. Gaz's game she had developed was still holding the number one sales slot for the third consecutive month in a row.

Good for her.

There was some mention of his parents winning some sort of science award- he remembered his dad had brought it up during their last phone call. Dib and Lor would be attending the actual award ceremony when they got back. His dad's mech suit-car had been a huge success with the Syndicate Rangers.

Dib even saw a mention of his upcoming wedding. Even if his family weren't making names for themselves in the Syndicate, marrying the High Council Chairman's son had put Dib into the spotlight in a way he hadn't been expecting. The Halloween themed wedding was a topic of interest to many Syndicate media outlets, especially given as how the Syndicate had only the barest grip of what the holiday actually entailed. But they loved it nonetheless, and Dib was happy to have started a holiday on a completely different planet.

Suddenly, Dib found himself falling backward. He quickly put his phone away just in time to see a red headed human grabbing the purifier and taking off through the streets. It took Dib a moment to process what had just happened because, quite frankly, that thing was heavy. And yet, this guy was carrying it off no problem. As soon as Dib's thoughts organized themselves, he took off after the thief, through the busy, Texas streets.

Fortunately, Dib's enhanced reflexes allowed for him to give chase without causing too much chaos. He didn't want attention until the Syndicate was more integrated into Earth. Was this thief a human who was against the alliance with this Intergalactic government? Was this some form of resistance?

Had Dib been younger, it might have been something he would have tried before he realized the Syndicate were not a force for conquest but rather a large-scale alliance.

Perhaps this was some sort of human rebellion!

Dib was right behind as the thief tossed the purifier into an open window of some sort of large warehouse, clambering in right after. Dib followed suit, surprised by how tough and agile this stranger seemed to be. He had trouble lifting the purifier at all, and he was a Clone. "Stop thief!" He jumped through the open window, tucking and rolling before jumping back to his feet.

"No. You." The thief replied quickly. He no longer had the purifier but he was also no longer alone. There was a shorter ginger haired boy and a blonde girl who both seemed to be younger, though not by much. There was also a black-haired girl but Dib couldn't see much of her as she had her head down on the table in the back.

"Huh?" Dib was a bit confused by the response.

"No. You stop. Stop right there, alien!" The thief retorted, standing tall.

"Alien- n... no. I'm a human." So, this was some kind of resistance. Dib would be up to his ears in paperwork.

"Oh yeah! Prove it!" The thief instructed. Dib scanned the room, they weren't exactly children or anything, but they were young. The thief was the oldest, maybe young twenties, not too much Dib's junior. They didn't appear to be armed; he could probably deescalate this.

"Okay," Dib nodded, voice calm, "how? How would you like me to prove it?"

"Breathe oxygen!" The thief demanded.

"P... Pardon?" Dib blinked.

"Oh! Oh! Drink water!" The blonde girl instructed.

"Drink... water?" Dib repeated uncertainly.

"Yeah, but like Earth water- our water!"

"I don't have any water to drink."

"Oh." The girl's face fell.

"Oh! Detect the next Earthquake using your antennae!" The younger of the boys sounded excited.

"Humans don't have fucking antennae." The girl with her head down in the back finally spoke up, Dib had assumed she was asleep, but apparently, she had been listening. It was... odd... there was something familiar about their voices, their speech patterns... everything.

"They don't?" The younger boy blinked. "But what's that thing on his head then?"

"My cowlick?" Dib ran his hands through his hair trying to smooth it down. "Look, kids, I know you think aliens might be bad, but trust me, I'm not here to hurt you." He wasn't sure these kids were actually human anymore, so his guard was up, but he still wanted to resolve this ordeal without a fight. "So why don't you just give me back that purifier you took and-"

"Okay!" The younger boy turned to go get it but the thief spun him back around to face forward.

"Ven. No."

"Ven?" Dib immediately perked up. "Wait a minute!" He turned to look at the thief again. "Vero!?"

"N... noooo..." the redhead could not have sounded less convincing if he tried. "I'm not Vero. You're Vero. I'm Dib."

"Can I be Dib?" The blonde asked.

"Sure, Ara, you can be Dib too." Vero assured her.

"So, you're Ara, Ven, Vero..." He looked at the girl in the back. "Xia?"

"Fuck. Off." Came the muffled response, she still hadn't lifted her head. Definitely Xia.

"Why did you steal Syndicate property? Why are you here? Where are your parents?" Dib rubbed his forehead.

"First of all: Xixi and I are adults." Vero countered.

"They are in the back still."

"CB!?" Dib nearly jumped as he heard a voice behind him. He turned to see CB's Android body, helmet and all, holding a gun in one hand. "Why are you armed?"

"I was going to knock you out."

"What!?" Dib backed away from him. "Why!?"

"Because you were going to ruin your surprise."

"You can still knock him out if you want. " Vero offered.

"No. No." Dib heard the familiar voice of Voel as a crimson haired, tall, intimidating looking human appeared from a room in the back. "CB, drop the weapon."

"You do not own me."

"CB."

"Very well. But I am doing it because I want to. Not because of you."

"Uh huh. Just do it." Voel looked back at the smeets. "And you,"

"We did a great job acting, I know " Vero replied before Voel could even finish.

"Can I stop hiding yet?" Zim's human son, Gavin, poked his head out from behind the overly tall form of Voel. "Dad said it would be a giveaway if you saw me."

"Honestly you could probably have done a better job playing the role of a human rebel than your brothers and sisters. At least you're a convincing human." Voel was still glaring at Vero.

"Excuse you." Vero feigned a look of offense. "I was very convincing. I love having five fingers."

"You still only have three fingers." Voel pointed at Vero's hands.

"Well, I'm sorry that hands are hard." Vero grabbed Gavin's hand. "Look at this. Look how many weird digits he has."

"Your hands look dumb." Gavin seemed to agree with Voel.

"My hands are beautiful!" Vero wasn't dropping the human disguise. "And I did everything I had to do for Almighty Tallest Dad's whole secret thing we're supposed to be doing."

"No. You did a terrible job. You couldn't keep him busy for ten minutes while we finished getting everything ready."

"But we did distract him for seven minutes." Vero countered.

"No. No. You didn't." Voel replied dryly.

"Six."

"Try again."

"Five."

"There you go."

"We kept him occupied for five minutes, papa. You should be proud." Vero looked quite pleased with himself despite Voel's evident annoyance.

"I'm not."

"Voel," Dib interrupted as this back-and-forth could, theoretically, go on forever. "What is going on?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Voel admitted "but Zim asked us to do this for you. It's some kind of weird human tradition?"

"Stealing my purifier is a human tradition?" Dib folded his arms over his chest.

"No that was to get you here," Voel explained "and then the smeets were supposed to stall you until Zim, Skoodge, and I finished getting everything together."

"Can I talk to Zim?" It was clear to Dib that he would need to get information from the source.

"Yeah. Sure." Voel disappeared again into the back room and before long, Zim's human persona emerged, looking quite pleased. Then, seeing Dib, his face fell for a moment.

"CB!" Zim's voice echoed off the walls. "Why is he still conscious?"

"Voel would not let me knock him out."

"Voel! It is customary for the human to be unconscious for part of this!" Zim shouted back into the room from where he had just exited.

"I still do not think that's accurate." Skoodge's human persona popped his head out. "And even if it is, it's typically the end of the function where the guest of honor is in an altered state of consciousness. And it us usually due to copious alcohol consumption rather than blunt force trauma."

"Details." Zim scoffed. "A good bludgeoning makes a good party."

"Got it." CB lifted the gun again.

"CB no!" Skoodge quickly stopped him. "Zim, don't teach him that. He already gets carried away at parties."

"You're right," Zim sighed. "You're right. CB, don't render my smelly human unconscious."

"Okay." CB handed the weapon to Dib. "Here, this is yours anyway. It's from Tenn. I stole it."

"He still does this kind of thing, huh?" Dib asked, looking back at CB.

"He still does a lot of stuff." Zim sighed. "But he is a great Control Brain. I think. I mean, no one complains."

"And if they did, I will kill them."

"CB!" Dib shot him a dirty look.

"That was a joke. I am very funny."

"That wasn't funny." Dib huffed.

"It was kinda funny." Zim replied thoughtfully. "But since this is your party, I will say you are right, even if you're wrong."

"This is... a party?" Dib raised an eyebrow, craning his neck to see I'd he could catch a glimpse of what Zim was working on in the other room. Zim shook his head clicking his tongue in what Dib knew to be Irken, but given how it wasn't translated, he assumed it was simply a sound of frustration from his best-friend-turned-leader.

"Yes, foolish, idiot human, Dib. My smeets were part of a clever ruse to surprise you with a party."

"Cool!" Dib grinned. "But it's July. So... not my birthday."

"This is no celebration of your birth- which is still a weird thing to celebrate, by the way." Zim cleared his throat. "This is a bachelor party." Dib snorted as he tried to hold back a laugh.

"Excuse me?"

"It is customary for I, Zim, as your GREATEST MAN-"

"Best man," Dib interrupted.

"SUPREME MAN!" Zim pumped his fist dramatically. "Yes, Zim knows of his very important status- but a part of this job is to throw you a party to create unnecessary stress and zany situations and enforce mandatory friendships before you are bonded to your mate."

"I think you got a lot of wrong information about these things." Dib quickly interjected.

"Yes, typically the best ones are not remembered, so CB will delete all of our memories upon the party's epic conclusion."

"Zim, no-"

"I have also stolen the tiger like you asked."

"You did what!?" Dib turned quickly. "CB, please say you are kidding."

"I am kidding."

"Oh, thank god, now Zim-"

"I am not kidding."

"Damn it- which is it CB!?"

"I am not kidding and simply lied because you asked me to."

Dib pinched the bridge of his nose trying to get his thoughts together. The thought was nice, yes, but it sounded like Zim's only concept of a bachelor party had been formulated from media. "I'm gonna call Lor. He's probably freaking out anyway." Dib was a little surprised his Syndicate communicator wasn't blowing up with worried messages.

"Pizza~" Lor's voice came from the entry way as he floated in, carrying a large stack of boxes. "Y'all had a lot of really specific orders."

"Did you get the one with the drippy cheese!?" The door to the back room flung open again and Dib heard Xia scream into the table as he saw Therron's human persona sweep over and start going through Lor's pizza boxes.

"That's all of them." Lor retorted.

"I know which one it is, thank you." Therron pulled one from the middle and disappeared back into the room as Lor struggled to stop the boxes from toppling over. Dib ran to help him.

"You knew about this?" He looked around the boxes to Lor.

"Yeah! I mean, I kinda knew." Lor, with Dib's help, brought the pizzas to a nearby table. "Zim said this was important for humans. I don't want you to miss out on a human life-event."

"This is... really nice, guys." Dib wouldn't lie- he was more surprised than anything else, but he was flattered that his friends had gone through so much trouble to put together an event that they- quite frankly- did not seem to understand. "But shouldn't Lor and I work on finishing the mission first? Or..." he looked to his fiancé, "was that part of the ruse as well?"

"Nah, that part was real." Lor had opened one of the boxes of pizza and offered Dib a slice before taking one of his own. "And we should probably get it done."

"That will also give you guys more time to set up." Dib assured them. He was actually excited, he had literally no idea what a bachelor party thrown by Irkens might entail, but he knew he was in for a while ride, regardless. Though, he was still on an official Syndicate mission. The sooner he got his responsibilities out of the way, the sooner he could enjoy what they had planned.

"Very well." Zim nodded after pondering over the idea for a moment. "You finish that stupid Syndicate thing, then you can truly experience the greatest bachelor party this planet has ever seen!" Zim gestured for Dib to follow him to the back of the warehouse. "Zim had Vero put your purifier in the back with all the other boxes."

"Other boxes?" Lor had followed as well, peering ahead in the darkness at something Dib couldn't see. They passed through a small door into a different, larger room.

"Those were not our boxes," Zim assured them, "well... not boxes, really more like crates. But yes, they were here already." Zim gestured ahead at an empty space. "See?"

"Zim there's nothing there." Dib replied flatly.

"Of course, there is, idiot human." Zim sighed, turning to face the empty space. Dib saw his body language droop. "Oh."

"Oh!?" Dib raised his voice just slightly, knowing Zim was trying to do something nice, but also realizing that he had inadvertently just interfered in Dib's job.

"It appears to be gone." Zim crossed his arms, frowning.

"I see that. Zim, that was very important for my work." Dib lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"Skoodge!" Zim's voice shook the room. Immediately Skoodge reappeared beside them.

"Yes?"

"Skoodge did you move all of the crates that were right here?" Zim gestured at the empty space.

"No." Skoodge looked surprised. "Someone must have collected the other items and taken the purifier as well, by mistake."

"Or!" Zim slammed his fist into his open palm, "a portal opened up to another dimension, sucking everything inside of it! CB! Check for unauthorized trans-dimensional portals!"

"Also see what humans use this warehouse," Skoodge suggested, "you know, just to explore all our options."

"There have been no unauthorized portals in this area."

"Hmmm, that complicates things..." Zim's frown deepened.

"However, this warehouse has been marked for storage for the Texmas-Eve parade."

"Well shit," Dib looked to Lor as if expecting him to pull a solution out of nothing. "We have to figure out where they took it."

"I've seen the parade like... twice? On TV." Lor wracked his brain trying to recall the details of it. "I don't really know much about it. I think there is a bunny."

"That's Easter." Dib didn't know much about Texmas, but he knew Lor wasn't great with holidays.

"Leprechaun?"

"St. Patrick's Day."

"Big slabs of meat."

"Valentine's Day, but also Texmas, I am pretty sure." Dib would give him that.

"Wait! I know someone who might be able to help!" Lor pulled out his communicator and dialed a number. As the person on the other line picked up, a hologram formed into the all too familiar Captain Rose.

"Captain Allison Rose, reporting. What seems to be the problem?"

"Shhh," Dib lowered his voice hiding his mouth, leaning toward Lor who- thankfully- had exceptional hearing. "What are you doing!? Don't tell the Captain!"

"I'm not," Lor waved him off before turning to the Captain with a large, clearly fake, smile. "Captain! Hey! We were just enjoying our trip back to Earth and we were wondering if Gary was around!"

"Yes." She arched an eyebrow at them. "Why?"

"Just... Dib wanted to talk human stuff. You know how it is." Lor gave an awkward laugh.

"Uh... huh." She clearly wasn't buying the story, but she vanished, and in a moment, returned with the blonde human that she had married.

"Hey guys!" Gaty gave a cheerful wave.

"Hi Gary! We were just wondering, you see, it's Texmas right now-" Lor began. Gary's face lit up.

"Aw! I love Texmas!"

"You... do?" Dib hadn't talked much to Gary. He really only knew him as the 'other human' and 'the Captain's husband'.

"Oh yeah, I'm from Ultra-Dakota. We celebrate Texmas there. Are you guys looking for fun Texmas stuff to do? I personally love looking at the Texmas Anti-Robot Shelters that people decorate!"

"The... what?" CB had perked up suddenly. Gary blinked, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh, hello CB! I um... didn't realize you were uh- um- there."

"I am always here. I am everywhere. I am ubiquitous!"

"CB, shh." Dib held a finger to his lips before turning back to Gary. "Well, we're in Houston, so Lor and I both discussed maybe seeing the Texmas Eve Parade. You know anything about that?"

"You guys have a chance to see the parade live!?" Gary's eyes widened. "I am so jealous! That parade is a spectacle! One of the top things to do in Texas! I have always wanted to go in person! They have Texmas ELFEs: Electronic Life-Force Exterminators-"

"What!?"

"Oh... CB, um it's not as bad as it sounds-" Gary cleared his throat. "The Sugargun Fairy has her own parade float, escorted by the Nut and Bolt Crackers! And at the very end, Cowboy Santa arrives in his sleigh pulled by the robotic bison delivering weapons and rations to the people of Texas- basically throwing food and toys into the crowd, and at the end, they usher in Texmas by launching the sleigh at the moon."

"The... moon?" Dib had only caught the parade on TV once or twice, but was now regretting nt watching it more.

"Yeah, Texas declared war on the moon because it's believed Original A.I. is harbored there by the moon monkeys. It's all just for fun now a day. I don't know how many people really believe in the moon-war." Gary explained. Zim scoffed.

"The moon monkeys are real, but Original A.I. wasn't there he was-"

"Wow what a crazy parade Gary!" Dib cut Zim off. "We really should go see it, shouldn't we dear?" His voice was a little stilted, his acting, perhaps, not the best.

"Absolutely!" Lor replied brightly. "I want to fight the moon." Knowing that Lor's acting was generally not much better, the enthusiasm I his fiancée voice left Dib somewhat certain that Lor actually wanted to engage in combat against a celestial body.

"You guys should go, for sure. It is quite the event. Tickets might be sold out, though." Gary cautioned. "They can be hard to come by. Texmas is the event of the season."

"Then we better hope we can get tickets!" Dib smiled wider than necessary. "Thanks for everything, Gary!, buddy."

"Is everything going well with the mission?" Captain Rose had been listening quietly to the story of the Texmas parade but finally spoke up before Dib could hang up the call.

"Yep. Great. Boring even." Dib replied quickly. "I just... wanted to woo Lor with Earth culture."

"With CB?" The Captain didn't sound convinced.

"I also wanted to be wooed."

"Zim is throwing me a party. It's unrelated." Dib assured her, though he spoke a little too quickly.

"That's Almighty Tallest Zim." Zim interrupted.

"R... right." Captain Rose was glaring at them. Thankfully, there was the sound of a baby crying from out of view.

"Ali is awake." She turned to look back to her husband, then back to Dib. "Report back to me when you're done."

"Okay, bye!" Dib barely let her finish before ending the call. He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. "So, odds are, if we don't find our purifier, it's going to be launched onto the moon."

"Maybe we can get it from the moon." Lor suggested, but as Dib narrowed his eyes, Lor realized the problem on his own. "Right... it'll probably be damaged. Bad plan."

"CB, get us all tickets for this stupid, human parade." Zim ordered with a snap of his fingers.

"I cannot. All Texmas tickets are sold in person only."

"Why?" Zim blinked. "That's stupid."

"Apparently, it is to make sure robots do not attend, invade, and murder everyone. So not only is it stupid, it is rude."

"CB, you remember why people are distrustful of robots, right?" Dib felt odd reminding CB of something his predecessor had caused. CB, of course, was not responsible- he hadn't even been conceptualized- but he had to understand some of the anti-AI sentiment.

"Yes, but still..." the AI grumbled, disapproving of the situation

"Can you tell us where to buy tickets?" Dib continued, trying to get information before they ran out of time and the purifier was launched into the moon. CB was quiet for a moment, the light on the helmet pulsing rhythmically as he processed through the information.

"Affirmative."

"Okay. Good. Where?"

"I will show you."

"O-oh... no. No. no. I... really don't think that was a good idea." Dib immediately tried to shut that down.

"Zim will go too!" Zim replied. "Zim wishes to see this... Texmas first hand." Dib had a feeling that all Zim really wanted to see was a sleigh getting launched into space.

"I think Lor and I can do this ourselves-" Dib began to protest, but Zim wasn't hearing it.

"Nonsense, you're the ones who lost the purifier to begin with."

"Actually, " Dib corrected, "you are the one who had it stolen-"

"GIR!" Zim wasn't interested in Dib's explanation.

"Yes, my Master!" A vent in the ceiling opened up and the SIR came tumbling out, wearing a pair of silver bison horns, decorated with bows and bells.

"Help supervises in my absence."

"Okie dokie!" GIR immediately began to roll on the floor.

"They're in good hands." Zim nodded, hands on his hips. "Let's go."

"This way." CB headed out of the warehouse. Dib had a great deal of reservations about taking CB along, but no one else seemed concerned. CB was, truly, more advanced than anything on Earth. So, it was unlikely that he would be pinpointed as a robot, and even if he was, between Zim and Lor it was unlikely any harm would befall them. But still, there was a certain, inescapable irony in having a robot lead them to the Texmas tickets. It was even more strange that, as they walked through the busy, festive streets, no one seemed to pay them any mind. CB took them to a nicely decorated building toward the center of the city. It looked to be an official building, but the name was hidden behind a giant, inflatable cowboy Santa in his sleigh.

Dib took the first step inside. There was a long line of people, most in camouflage, wearing large, red cowboy hats. He felt a little out of place.

"Big crowd." CB surveyed the room, looking in disgust at a giant portrait of Cowboy Santa with a machine gun, moving down a wave of murderous robots.

"This is a big holiday." Dib replied with a shrug. "A bit commercialized, if you ask me, but people love it."

"I'm just glad we're inside. I thought your home was an awful, putrid, smelly, swamp of boiling heat- this place is far worse." Zim, despite using the hologram technology to project his human persona, could not cover up how much the heat was bothering him. Dib smirked.

"Yeah well, if you thought New Jersey was bad, then yeah: you'll hate Texas in July, my friend."

"This is terrible. " Zim stuck his tongue out of his mouth almost like a dog. "You remember Irk? Remember how beautiful that weather was?"

"It was cold as fuck." Dib remembered. Dib remembered being in constant need of a coat.

"My research indicates that Texas used to be cold. Always."

"That was due to a nuclear disaster and shouldn't be brought up." Dib quickly reminded the AI of the sordid history of his home planet.

"I know we're doing this mission so that we don't screw up our delivery- but this is kind of fun!" Lor piped up.

"Standing in line?" Dib teased.

"He's Syndicate" Zim seconded, "of course he finds standing in line fun.

"No," Lor briefly stuck his tongue out, realizing Dib was messing with him. "I mean getting to see an Earth festival! It does sound kind of exciting!"

"Well, I did promise to show you some fun while we were here." Dib slid his arm around Lor's shoulders, leaning on him. Despite being noticeably taller and more muscular than Lor- Dib's added weight didn't seem to faze him.

"We can still watch the parade after we get the purifier back, right?" Lor looked up at him.

"I don't see why not." Dib had to admit, he was curious about the parade as well. Zim gave an annoyed little sigh.

"I suppose we can party after the parade. Your Bachelor Party will be Oh so very epic and will make your memory of this foolish, human parade seem lame in comparison. But if you want to see it because it's cultural..."

"I mean, it could be fun." Dib wanted to see it too, but mostly he was interested because it seemed like Lor genuinely wanted to go.

"Maybe I should bring Gavin." Zim paused thoughtfully, "help him get in touch with his human roots."

"Is Gavin from Texas or the surrounding states?" Dib still wasn't entirely sure about Zim's abduction-adoption. "Wasn't he in your base back in Jersey?"

"I don't know the difference between all these places. They look the same. This is the same as where we lived, that: New Jersey- which did not look all that new, by the way. Some of those buildings were hundreds of Earth-years old- but this 'Texmas' is a bazillion times hotter, and therefore, worse."

"Texas." Dib corrected. "Texmas is the holiday. Texas is the state."

"That's what I said." Zim crossed his arms, insistently. It wasn't, but Dib wasn't going to fight him.

"Next!" A cheerful human woman dressed in camouflage and a red cowboy had ushered them forward, toward her desk. "Merry Texmas-Eve, y'all! Keep up the good fight! My name is Susan, how can I help?"

"Uh... yeah, hey Susan..." Dib was a little caught off guard by any speech that started out with: keep up the good fight'; but he recovered quickly. "I was wondering if there were any Texmas Eve Parade tickets still available?"

"Awe, honey." The woman was still smiling but her voice was empathetic. "You're from out of town, aren'tchya?"

"I'm from New Jersey, so are my friends," he gestured to Zim and CB, "but my fiancé is from Texas." He pointed to Lor. The woman's face lit up.

"Keep up the good fight, brother!" She tilted her hat toward Lor.

"Keep up the good fight." He parroted her words back at her.

"Well, your fiancé shoulda told you that tickets sell out weeks in advance." She looked Dib over, noticing the Syndicate emblem on his uniform. "Oh! You two are working with those Europeans in the new Environmental Rejuvenation building! Well welcome home!"

"Euro...peans..." Dib looked uncertainly to Lor.

"Yeah! The Galactic Syndicate! Great group of people over there. I have lunch with Owlivia on Tuesdays." Susan beamed

"Huh," Lor mused, "her pronunciation is better than yours was when you first joined."

"Look, sweetie, I wanna help. Especially for a fellow Texan. Why don't you give me your name and ID and if, on the off chance someone is unable to attend- I can give y'all the tickets. How does that sound?" She did genuinely seem like she wanted to help. It was better customer service than Dib was accustomed to receiving on Earth. It was either the influence of the Syndicate, or maybe Texas was just, in general, more polite. Dib fished around for his human license, finally pulling it out.

"Thanks so much for the help, Susan. I am just trying to embrace the Texas culture." Dib handed her the card and she looked it over for a moment before her eyes widened.

"Diego Isandro Bolivar Membrane Junior!? As in son of THE Diego Isandro Bolivar Membrane Senior? Professor Membrane?"

"Still too many fucking names." Zim grumbled under his breath. Dib elbowed him.

"Yeah, that's me." He knew his father's work was known worldwide, but it still always caught him off his guard.

"Why didn't you say so!?" Susan immediately handed the ID back. "Of course, I can get tickets for you and your guests! Your father donates our parade sleigh every year!"

"He does?" Dib blinked. This was the first he was hearing of it. His dad had a vendetta against Santa. Was Cowboy Santa any different?

"Here!" She pulled out some glittering silver tickets, handing them to Dib, Zim, CB, and Lor in turn. "I hope you enjoy seeing our festivities! Fight on against the robot threat, my brothers!" She pumped her fist, emphatically, from behind her desk. "YEE-HAW!"

All of the sudden the room erupted in a chorus of 'Yee-haw!" And 'Down with the robot threat!'. Dib awkwardly pumped his fist up with an unenthusiastic:

"Yee-haw?" That really sounded more like a question, before hurrying out of the building. He turned to see CB looking utterly appalled by what had just transpired.

"What sort of fucked up holiday is this!?"

"Not now, CB. I told you that you should have stayed back." Dib didn't really understand the holiday, either. Dib pulled out his communicator, dialing his parents. Perhaps he didn't need an explanation, but he sure as hell wanted one.

"Ah hello son!" His father's holographic image flickered into view with his step mom beside him.

"Hi Junior!" She waved cheerfully.

"You guys donate the sleigh for Texmas?" Dib cut right to the chase. His dad looked confused for a moment, before laughing.

"Is it Texmas!? I love that holiday!"

"I thought you hated Santa!" Dib countered. (While it was true his dad didn't hate Christmas, exactly, he had never donated anything to a Christmas parade.)

"Yeah. He owes me weapons grade uranium. And I will get him one day." His dad clenched his fist, "one day."

"You'll show him, my love. And I'll get that gene splicing kit I asked for in fourth grade." His wife patted his back soothingly.

"You will, Moira my darling. We will get our revenge!"

"See?" Dib cut off his dad's tirade as he knew his father could rant for hours. "You hate Santa."

"Yes." His father's nodded, seriously. "I hate regular Santa. But Cowboy Santa is completely different! When I lived in New Mexico with your abuela I celebrated Texmas and I got a build-your-own-anti-robot-fortress kit!"

"But the bison are robots! Why is everything so anti-robot with this holiday, but everyone overlooks the bison."

"CB, you silly Control Brain, " his father shook his head at the AI's frustration, "the bison were created by hand by Cowboy Santa himself at his workshop in the magnetic north pole."

"But the magnetic north pole is mobile, fluctuating with Earth's magnetic fields. How can there be a workshop there?"

"Texmas magic." His father replied decisively. "I mean, how could Cowboy Santa be in the regular North Pole with regular Santa? That just doesn't make sense."

"None of this makes sense."

"Look, dad." Dib had to interrupt this argument, from his own experience: CB and his father could debate, uninterrupted, for days. "I need to get to the sleigh that you apparently donated. Do you know where they keep it?"

"In the fall-out shelter under town hall." The swift response was a little surprising. "Are you going to the parade?"

"I mean, kinda, yeah." Dib admitted.

"I must say I had no idea you were interested in Texmas, son." His dad seemed pleased. "I haven't celebrated it since mom passed and I got busy with work- but if you're ever interested, you can help me create the next sleigh!"

"The rocket-sleigh that launches into the moon?" Dib had to be sure his information from Gary was accurate, but he absolutely believed that a rocket powered sleigh was something his father would make.

"Hah, yeah." His dad laughed, hands on his waist. "Fuck the moon. It knows what it did."

"The moon monkeys are still a problem." Moira shook her head. "A.I. harboring, murderous fiends."

"Enjoy the parade, son. Take lots of pictures! Show the moon who's boss!" His father waved excitedly.

"I... will. Bye guys." Dib hung up. He had the location of the sleigh, now to get the purifier and put this nightmare behind him.

"Your dad is right." Zim remarked as they started walking again. "The moon has had it far too good, for far too long. It knows what it did."

"Don't you worship the moon or something? Isn't Mothra a moon Goddess?" Honestly, Dib wasn't entirely clear on the ins and outs of the primary Irken religion. But context indicated that they liked the moon.

"Different moons. Our moons are better because of Mothra." Zim assured him.

"Hating the moon is a custom I can support. It is simply the anti-robot sentiment I do not agree with."

"Where is this fall-out shelter," Dib was ignoring the Irken and Control Brain for the time being.

"There." Lor pointed beneath their feat.

"How did you- right. Xray vision." Occasionally, Dib forgot his medic fiancé was actually some sort of crazy super-weapon of an alien. Only the Irkens seemed to know anything about Lor's species and, as they had apparently helped in its eventual demise, Dib didn't feel too comfortable prying. "Can you find where the entrance is?"

"There are several, the shelter appears to be several miles long." Lor surveyed the area. "Hang on." Lor lifted off of the ground into the sky.

"Lor, baby no! No flying!" Dib tried to stop him but Lor was already in the sky. A few nearby people looked over with mild interest.

"Kids these days and their energy drinks. Has them flying around." An older gentleman remarked as he hobbled passed on his walker. "Back in my day we had to walk places."

"I found the entrance closest to the sleigh." Lor landed, gently, back on the ground. Dib was still a bit in awe at the complete lack of a reaction from the other humans. No wonder he had struggled in proving the existence of aliens. The people of Earth were capable of dismissing anything. "It's not too far." He led them to a nondescript looking building with two guards in the front.

"Y'all here for the parade?" One of the guards looked them over.

"Yeah," Dib stammered for a moment as one of the guards squinted at him.

"Anyone ever tell you that you look like the kid who launched regular Santa into space and ruined regular Christmas?

"I...um..." Dib coughed to stifle his surprise. "No. I'm Dib Membrane. My father made the sleigh and I need to check on it before the parade starts." Dib replied quickly.

"ID?" The guards seemed skeptical, but as he handed over his license, they nodded. "Very well, you and your crew can head through the metal detector and go inside. All metal should be left in the trays and will be returned once it's been reviewed." Dib's heart stopped.

Of course, there would be a metal detector.

He turned very quickly toward Zim and CB. "You guys should stay up here. It's just a routine check."

"I want to see the sleigh." Zim protested.

"No. Your PAK will set off the alarm and CB is entirely fucking metal, Zim." Dib's voice was just a hiss, but Zim didn't seem to hear him.

"Stop mumbling." Zim pushed Dib aside and walked between the guards with CB close behind. Shockingly, nothing was triggered. No alarms sounded. Dib, dumbfounded, hurried after them with Lor in tow.

"What about the metal detector!?" Dib looked between the two.

"What?" Zim blinked. "Obviously it could not detect my superior Irken metals. This isn't surprising, it is puny, obsolete, human technology, after all."

"I turned it off."

"Ah." That made sense. Dib had gotten concerned for no reason. It was just so rare that Zim or CB behaved competently that it took him off guard.

"The sleigh is this way." Lor gave a wave as he hurried down one of the halls. The long, deep tunnels were alive with colorful floats and people in costumes. Dib saw people in green, military camouflage, with pointed oversized green ears sticking off of their helmets and ELFE on the sleeve of their coats. There was a bright, beautiful purple float, a woman was sitting on top, her dress actually glowing with some sort of light-up wire. She had gossamer wings spread out behind her and was carrying a rocket launcher in her hands that she was setting up on the float. People were giving them nods as they passed by. Dib ducked under a half-inflated giraffe balloon that he truly needed an explanation for- and found himself approaching a very large, red sleigh with fire painted along the side. At the front were inflatable versions of each of the robotic bison at the forefront.

"I see your purifier!" Zim leapt forward to grab the metal box which had been placed precariously in the middle of a large stack of boxes.

"Zim! Wait! It's hea-" Dib tried to warn him, but the Irken was quick, even without the use of his PAK legs. The boxes began to wobble as Zim struggled to remove the purifier. CB ran to assist his master only to be crushed beneath the onslaught as the boxes toppled over. "...vy.." Dib finished his thought halfheartedly. Of course, when Lor had straight up flown in the air, no one had noticed- but when CB got bombarded with boxes all the costumed parade goers and staff hurried over.

"Is he okay!?" One if the security personnel attempted to pull the boxes away but they seemed to be quite heavy.

"He's fine." Zim waved off the concern. "He's indestructible. Lor, pick up your purifier. I am Tallest and therefore, far too important to lift such a thing." He must have given up after sending a waterfall of heavy boxes to crush his robot.

"I am fine." The boxes stirred and CB crawled his way out.

The room fell silent. Somehow, in the crash, one of the boxes had knocked CB's helmet clean off of his head. Dib felt his heart sink. Apparently, despite having been on Irk as a Control Brain, CB had never gotten around to putting eyes on his body. So as the blue hair fell around his face, it framed an empty white space where the most expressive part of a human should be. The tension was palpable as everyone drew weapons, pointing them toward CB.

"It's fine." Dib tried to intervene but he was pushed back by the security staff.

"Why is everyone..." CB trailed off bringing a hand up to his face. "Ah."

"You a robot?" One of the ELFEs demanded.

"Nope."

"Then where are your eyes?"

"Robots... robots sole my eyes. And that is why we need Cowboy Santa."

Dib slapped himself in the face, dragging his hand down slowly as he tried to calculate every exit available.

"Oh, you poor thing." One of the security women reached over patting CB on the shoulder. Dib nearly choked on the air he was breathing as everyone lowered their weapons at once.

"Damn robots."

"Damn robots!" Everyone echoed CB with excited cheers.

"Your story will be told you brave, eyeless man." A man painted to look like wood, carrying an electric saw (Dib could only assume this was the Nut and Bolt Cracker) gave CB a rough pat on the back. "What's your name?"

"Racecar-"

"Cedric. His name is Cedric, he works for Membrane Labs." Dib quickly intervened.

"Is that Membrane Junior?" He heard whispers from the onlookers.

"What's he doing here?"

"He kinda looks like the kid who ruined regular Christmas that one time."

"His head looks bigger in person."

"We only came to secure a package." Dib cleared his throat, continuing to speak over the excited whispers.

"This package." Lor held the purifier box up with ease as CB fished his helmet out of the pile.

"What are you doing with that Cowboy Santa present package?" One of the parade staff asked uncertainly.

"I have to take it. To my lab." Dib wasn't the best at improvising, but fortunately, it didn't seem like this crowd was hard to sway. "To check it for... robot lice." There was a collective gasp.

"Robot lice!?"

"At our parade?"

"Think of the children!"

"So I best get this back to the lab so I can be back before the parade." Dib quickly wormed his way through the crowd. "Um..." he turned back to face them seeing as how nobody had really moved. "Good job everyone. Keep up the good fight."

"Keep up the good fight!" Cheers erupted from the crowd and Dib grabbed Zim by the collar, CB re-secured his helmet, and Lor carried the purifier over his shoulder while they made their exit. People kept stopping them to reassure CB that he would find his eyes one day. But they made it back out without much incident.

"Can we still go to the parade?" Lor looked a little worried.

"Yeah, let's just get this to the Syndicate first." Dib let out a breath he wasn't aware that he had been holding.

"I think they might dedicate the parade to me."

"You almost got yourself caught, CB." Dib rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah. But I did not. And now I am a hero."

"I can't believe you still haven't added eyes to your body." Dib was still stressing from the near-miss.

"Eyes are hard."

"Can't Zim make them for you?"

"Eyes are hard, Dib-human." Zim simply repeated CB's own words back. "And I am Tallest. I don't have time to spend putting holes in CB's face. He doesn't even use them to see."

"Right." Dib was unconvinced, but there was no reasoning with Zim. It was more worth his time to save his energy for a bigger argument in the future. They finally came upon a building baring the Syndicate logo on a sign. Dib walked through the automatic, sliding double doors and saw humans standing in line at a desk run by a fully out if disguise Tangean complete with his overly large, completely blue eyes, pointed ears and teeth, and blue skin. Dib was taken aback, and took a moment to process what he was seeing. He waved to the desk clerk who looked up, noticing the uniforms, and waved Dib and crew behind the desk.

"You brought the purifier! Perfect timing! We are hoping to have cleaner water for the parade tonight."

"Why aren't you in disguise!? Do people know you're aliens?" Dib couldn't focus on the mission because of this burning question.

"It's..." the Tangean man frowned, "...complicated."

"I mean, you're blue- you're clearly an alien." Dib gestured to him.

"He's European." A human that was near the front of the line must have overheard the exchange. "Some of them are blue, some of them are cats, some of them are amorphous blobs. It's not our place to judge."

"See?" The clerk shrugged, gesturing to the human. "It's complicated." He gestured for a few other Tangeans to come over and take the purifier. "Thank you for delivering this. You're Science Officer Membrane, right? And Chief Medic Briar?"

"Oh, yeah." Dib performed the Syndicate salute, as did Lor as soon as the purifier was taken from him.

"We will be happy to report this mission as complete. Captain Rose will be thrilled."

"She most certainly will." Dib was pleased. Sure, they had a few bumps, but overall, his trip back home had been a rousing success. "I am going to head out, actually. Lor and I have tickets to see the parade."

"Oh! By all means," the man nodded, "have fun."

"We plan on it." Dib gave a wave before they headed back outside. People were already lining up to get a good view of the festivities. Texmas was... a little weird, but overall, it was kind of fun.

"This went well." Zim remarked proudly.

"I mean, aside from you accidentally sending very expensive Syndicate equipment to be exploded on the moon-yeah." Dib grinned at him.

"Accidentally-ha!" Zim scoffed. "All part of the plan."

"What plan?" Dib raised an eyebrow at Zim.

"It is traditional, in human culture, for bachelor parties to involve a crazy quest with high stakes that is invariably solved by the end. Please, Dib, try to actually research your own people." Zim clicked his tongue in disappointment.

"Is that true?" Lor looked surprised. "Do I need to have Carrius make a fun adventure for me?"

"No. Lor, hun, he has no idea what he's talking about." Dib assured him.

"If your bother cared about giving you a human bachelor party experience, he will help you steal a car." Zim cut Dib off. "But his adventure will be nothing compared to Zim's! Zim is beyond Best Man- he is the Ultimate-Supreme-Tallest-man!"

"Is that a real wedding position?" Lor looked excited.

"No." Dib replied at the same time CB said:

"Affirmative."

"Hey are you guys going to get spots to watch the parade or not?" Dib blinked as he heard Skoodge calling to them. Dib noticed the unnaturally tall Voel, Vero, and Xia- even Therron- standing in the crowd, Skoodge approached them, Gavin clinging to his back as the robust, former Invader was using both of his disguised, human hands to hold gun-shaped corn dogs.

"What are you guys doing here?" Dib was honestly surprised. He thought they might still be setting up.

"See?" Zim gestured at Skoodge, "it was all part of my brilliant plan."

"No, it fucking wasn't. We finished hanging stupid decorations and then Zim insisted we come see this ridiculous excuse for a parade." Xia was quick to shine a light on Zim's facade of ingeniousness. "I'm only here because apparently the moon explodes at the end."

"Not exactly, but close enough." Skoodge finished one of his corndogs and had started on the other.

"I can't wait to fight the moon." Vero attempted to reach over and snag a piece of Skoodge's food but Skoodge turned quickly to evade him.

"The moon doesn't stand a chance," Zim assured them. He looked up to Dib smiling excitedly. Though the antennae were hidden beneath the wig, Dib could envision them sticking up with pride. "Was it the best bachelor party ever?"

Dib surveyed his surroundings, sliding his arm around Lor's waist, as the sun began to drop below the skyline and the streets lit up with bright lights. Humans in costume began cheering and jumping as they made their way along the busy parade route, and music filled the streets. Dib thought about how the adventure today had been. How much he had missed Earth and how much he had missed seeing his friends. And how this party had made all that feeling evaporate like water on a hot, Texas day.

"You know what?" He gave Zim a genuinely happy smile. "I think it just might be the best bachelor party of all time. I'm just glad you really didn't have a tiger."

"Oh, we did." Zim's assurance only made Dib feel worse. "But we left it with GIR." There was cheering from the crowd as the tiny SIR in his dog suit passed by, riding on a surprisingly obedient tiger.

"HAPPY TEXMAS TO ALL AND GIVE ME TACOS!"


QA Answers:

1) How aware is the general population of Earth about aliens by the time of the epilogues?

That got explored a little this chapter. The Syndicate are working with Earth but most humans write them off as being funny looking fellow humans. It is not for lack of trying that humans remain unaware. Dib was just destined for failure.

2) Did Therron ever meet Captain Rose's husband and realize that she doesn't like him? Or is he still bugging her every time they meet?

They HAVE met on several occasions actually, but Therron still bugs her. Gary is more amused by it than anything else. In fact, Captain Rose has children now and Therron still hasn't gotten the hint that her romantic love for him is entirely his own fabrication. Captain Rose herself has just gotten to the point where she ignores the comments entirely. She no longer even blinks when he brings up there supposed romance. Therron hasn't brought it up too much since the birth of Gary and Allison's daughter as- "Non-Irken smeets are kind of stinky and drool a lot, and they can't even talk? What's up with that?"

3) Is Gavin a Membrane clone?

No. At least, he doesn't seem to be but no one is really sure. Professor and Doctor Membrane don't recall making a new clone since Dib- but they also have done stranger things without remembering it. It isn't completely out of the question. One time Professor Membrane cloned a dinosaur in his sleep and it destroyed the couch. It's one of Moira's favorite stories to tell at dinner parties- it is also the reason they both lock their labs up at night.

4) Who popped the question? Dib or Lor?

Dib. Lor actually had very little concept of what a proposal was. On Capital Planet, marriage is handled like a business contract: two beings decide they wish to spend eternity together and they fill out the necessary paperwork and then BAM! Married! The idea of weddings and proposals was a human custom that Lor didn't entirely get when it actually happened. Dib brought out the ring, got on one knee and everything and Lor was just kinda like: "Oh! Cool! A ring!" Everything had to then be explained to him. He, of course, said yes. Lor was excited to try the idea of a 'human wedding' out. So even though Dib was okay with getting married the Syndicate way, they both decided to try and actually have a ceremony. No small part of this was the fact that both Membrane parents really REALLY wanted to help plan a wedding, and Dib had always wanted a Halloween wedding since he was a kids.

5) Which Control Brain sent tak to planet dirt as a jantior?

Control Brain VI actually was responsible for Tak's fate. She was the Control Brain in charge of military operations and thus ran the Elite Entrance Examinations.


I PROMISED AN UPDATE AND I DELIVERED!

As of right now, there is one more special chapter planned (the wedding). There could be more in the future. But let me know what you guys are most interested in seeing! If there is ANYTHING else you want to ask, let me know in the comments :D