Chapter 25 of Signal in the Sky

Science of Silence
By Purrsia Kat & Spaced Angel

A/N: This will be the final chapter posted on ffnet. I'm just too frustrated with the problems concerning the upload of documents, the editor, and formatting issues to continue here. It's more trouble than it's worth anymore. However, do see my profile for links to where you can continue following the story if you wish. I haven't abandoned the tale - just the posting of it here. Thank you for your understanding.

It had been a long day. In fact, if Snarf was honest, the last few weeks had been long too. They consisted of days that dragged on forever with endless things to do on a list that never seemed to get any shorter. He was used to hard times, but his life recently had been particularly trying. Snarf continued through the halls of the Lair, pondering all the recent turmoil.

First there was the Feliner, which to his way of thinking had taken up too much of everyone's time lately. He had known from the first it was going to be trouble. Hearing that it had crashed with Lion-O, Felina and Panthro aboard had given him a few more white hairs and shaved days off his life.

How thoughtless Lion-O could be sometimes, taking unnecessary risks like that! Tygra had warned him, Panthro had warned him and still he had gone on that wretched ship's maiden voyage. Everyone knew that's when things were most likely to go wrong. Most of all, he should have listened to old Snarf and stayed home where it was safe. Lion-O certainly would be no help to the missing Thunderians dead, but of course, good old-fashioned logic like that always seemed a wasted effort on Lion-O. The boy was going to put Snarf in an early grave if he kept it up, no matter that things turned out well this time. Snarf was certain Lion-O would keep pushing his luck until something bad and irreversible did happen. And this was the day Snarf dreaded most.

He could forgive Lion-O anything of course, but just sometimes he wished that boy wouldn't play fast and loose with his life and everyone else's, as though he imagined he was invincible. Thundera's history was littered with former leaders who had suffered under that same delusion. Their reigns had been brief. Snarf prayed that Lion-O would get wise sometime soon before his name was also added to that infamous list and he went down in history as the nursemaid who had failed to protect his headstrong charge. Snarf had his work cut out for him doubly, given Lion-O was so inexperienced. He had the mind of a boy but the pride of a man, which drove Snarf mad at times.

Then there was that other matter. That something was going on with Lion-O and Felina was the universal conclusion about the Lair. Outwardly, the pair seemed to be getting along again; they appeared amicable, even able to share the same space without creating too much of a stir. Everyone agreed it was an improvement. The atmosphere was less fraught and there wasn't the same feeling of sitting on the edge of a bubbling volcano waiting for the next explosion. It was better, except no one was convinced that it was real, least of all Snarf.

It was too polished a performance. They put on a good show, but just occasionally the facade would show cracks. He would catch Felina staring at Lion-O with a wistful look in her eyes, only to quickly avert her gaze should he glance in her direction. Lion-O too seemed more thoughtful lately and was given to falling into introspective moods where he lost all sense of time and place. It could happen anywhere, but most frequently Snarf found him in his bedroom, lost in thought by the window or bed. He would snap out of it the minute Snarf called his name and the forced smile and mask would go up amid claims that everything was all right.

He was too poor a liar to convince an old hand at this game. Snarf longed to ask him about the problems that he knew kept Lion-O awake at night, but always resisted. The gesture would not be appreciated, he guessed. After all, Lion-O was no longer the cub he had bounced on his knee, but a married Lord of the Thundercats, and as such, Snarf begrudgingly supposed, would have to work out his own problems. Or at the very least, Snarf would have to keep mum unless he was asked for advice. It was difficult at times.

Still, Snarf told himself that age did not stop him being concerned and Lion-O concerned him on many levels. The sleeping arrangements for a start were to his mind unsatisfactory. He hadn't liked to ask why Lion-O and Felina had stopped sharing a bedroom and were sleeping alone again. They made no secret of it and had jokingly said that it was because Lion-O snored and Felina couldn't get a wink of sleep when questioned. He had his suspicions given the cracks in the veneer he'd noticed, but kept his mouth shut for once. The last thing he wanted was to be labelled an interfering busybody again.

But someone eventually was going to have say something, if what he suspected were true. Everyone had noticed that Felina was out of sorts in a way that had nothing to do with Lion-O, although he wondered if the others had the same hunch he did. Something was wrong with her appetite for one thing. Snarf was one to notice these things, and what was strangest was her sudden aversion to foods she used to love – sometimes she even seemed as though the mere scent of them cooking in his kitchen would make her wretch. At the same time, she'd requested some things he'd never known her to eat much of if at all before, and she'd consume them in large quantities as though she were fixated on it. Not that it was necessarily an odd combination of foods, but rather, an interesting choice for her. Again, he was sharp and he noticed these things. He also might be offended by the aversions if he didn't suspect what he did.

Besides food quirks, there were the mood swings and the tiredness of which she often complained. By mid-morning she was yawning and more than once he had gone up to her room to find her sound asleep with her books scattered around her at all times of the day. Even when she was awake, an aura of lethargy hung about her that she seemed unable to shake. It would have been worrying if he hadn't recognised the symptoms. An official announcement about the impending birth of the next Lord of the Thundercats couldn't be too far away and then old Snarf would be needed again. He had to be honest the idea caused quite a stir of excitement within him, so much so that he was careful to consider whether it was just wishful thinking or truly his astute observations of changes in her health that alerted him.

He hadn't realised quite how much he had missed his role until Velouria was born. Up till that day, it was as though he had been treading water, idling away his time with washing, cleaning and cooking just to fill the void left by the abrupt ending of his duties as Lion-O's nursemaid. He had never admitted it, but it had been a wrench. When that accursed suspension capsule had opened and he had been confronted with an aged version of his charge, his feelings had been mixed. Pleased, yes, that Lion-O had survived. Proud that he had become the Lord of the Thundercats he had always known he would be one day. But sad too and somehow cheated. He had imagined that he would have more years and more time to adjust to the day when Lion-O would no longer need him. Cubs grew up fast, this he already knew, but that – that had just been ridiculous! The severing of the bond so abruptly was difficult to take. He had gone to sleep needed, with Lion-O as his whole world, and awoken to find himself devoid of purpose. He had grieved without knowing it, for the years that Lion-O had snatched from him and for himself, for the charge he had lost.

Then little Velouria came into his life. She was a blessing for them all. Cheetara and Tygra were more than pleased of his help and he was happy to devote as much time as he had to the child. It wasn't quite like Lion-O all over again; after his birth, Snarf had been placed pretty much in sole charge of his upbringing, which was traditional for the busy Lord's clan. His role intensified when Lion-O's mother was lost, and then later leaving the aged and blinded Claudis to struggle as the sole parent. Snarf had been out to prove he was more than up to the challenge and extra burden.

This time, he had had to learn a new role, as a support to her parents rather than giving the orders. It had been difficult not to interfere too much at first and he had gradually learned his place in this new pecking order. To some extent, it suited him to take a back seat for a change and defer ultimate responsibility to her parents. In these past months, he had found joy in just being with Velouria and watching her grow up without pressure on his shoulders as to how she was turning out. It was a role he cherished and one he capitalised on whenever he could.

Just like now in fact. He had heard Cheetara saying earlier that she was tired and he immediately offered to take Velouria off her hands for the evening. She had been immensely grateful and he had been only too happy to oblige. So tonight, it would just be Velouria and him, with candy fruit splodge to share and a book about the mystical snarfs who lived in Thundera's forests. It promised to be an enjoyable evening for all.

Passing Felina's door, however, he was disconcerted to hear the sound of someone retching. He tapped on her door and after a few moments, Felina appeared looking worse for wear. She rested her head on the arm she was using to support herself against the doorframe and asked what he wanted in a voice that sounded weak and ill.

"Weeow, are you all right?" he inquired with concern. "Have you been sick again?"

She nodded.

"That doesn't sound right to me," he went on. "That's the fifth time in as many days to my knowledge. You should let Tygra have a look at you."

"No," she said quickly. "I mean it's nothing. I'm all right. It will pass."

"I don't think it will, Felina. At least, not for several months."

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "What are you implying?"

"You might forget that I've served the nobles of Thundera for decades, and I know the tell-tale signs that a cub is on the way."

Her head jerked up at that. "No, you're wrong," she insisted. "Besides, Cheetara never got sick with Velouria. Being sick means nothing, other than it's something I ate."

Snarf bristled at the implication, and decided not to point out that not everyone does get sick when expecting so her rationale was thin at best.

"Brrr, there's nothing wrong with my cooking."

He had to seriously wonder why Felina was so bent on not even considering this possibility. He would have thought if she were in this condition, it was something she and Lion-O had both wanted. After all, it was fairly easy for a Thunderian female to avoid an unwanted predicament if only they paid heed to their most fertile times. True, the two of them had been sleeping apart for a time, but even so, it took time for these symptoms to show and allowing for that, the timing was perfect.

"A flu bug or something then. I'm going to bed." She turned to disappear back into the dark confines of her bedroom.

He eyed her critically, not believing one word of it. It wasn't just her retching, but all the other little clues that added up which convinced him she was expecting. Her denial was baffling, but he decided he'd play along for now.

"I see. Well, if you need anything, you just give old Snarf a call and I'll come running."

After a few mumbled words of gratitude, she retreated back into her room and closed the door on him. Just a flu bug indeed, he thought to himself. Still, it wasn't his place to pry. The couple would make the announcement when they were good and ready.

As he continued on his way down the corridor, another thought struck him.

Perhaps the couple's odd relationship of late had something to do with her condition. Felina certainly seemed to be having problems coming to terms with it and he could only imagine what Lion-O must be feeling. If they did know, then they were playing it very cool. There again, Felina was very young and he wondered if she knew what was really happening to her. Either way, he resolved to have a quiet word with Tygra about it.


No sooner had she closed the door on the outside world than her own surroundings began that dizzying, stomach-churning dance that made her head swim. Felina leant against the door and closed her eyes, willing the rising nausea away. Now, as before, it would not be denied.

She only just made it to the bathroom and emptied what was left of the meagre dinner she had managed to get down earlier into the toilet bowl. Sick until only dry retches were left to strain her burning throat, she reached a trembling hand to the chain and flushed the rancid smelling mess away. That done, she lay upon her back on the cool surface of the tile floor and allowed herself a few self-indulgent tears.

When the sickness first started, it had come on gradually and limited itself to the mornings, when she could hide away from breakfast and appear later without arousing suspicion. Lately however, it was plaguing her at any time of the day or night. It could strike without warning, prompted by a smell or the sight of dinner, even if such foods had been long-beloved favorites – for some reason those dishes no longer appealed to her palette and her stomach had an unkind way of letting her know it if she indulged herself anyway. Just the thought of food had provoked it this time and she had spent the better part of half an hour bent over the toilet bowl.

So now she was crying, not because her stomach hurt or because she was ill and alone, but because of the possible implications. If she was pregnant - and even Snarf had come to the same conclusion - then it had happened at the worst possible time.

She wondered why she was so surprised really. It was just her luck. Felina pondered how out of her mind she had been to ever agree with Lion-O to try to start a family, hindsight notwithstanding. She was scared and miserable even without the added stress of his essentially dumping her but weeks prior. Of course, he probably never dreamed the attempt would be successful on the first try, but that didn't make it any less reassuring. The idea of having a baby with him had seemed so romantic and bonding at the time, but the reality simply paled by comparison. She'd never felt so ill prepared for something in all her life.

Even in her darkest hours, however, she had never dreamed it would come to this. They had not had the best of starts, but she had never expected Lion-O to drop a bombshell like that. The finality of his decision struck her the most. She had pleaded with him, got down on her knees even, and he would not be moved.

Worst of all, he had added to her misery by finally admitting that he had loved her. If only he had said that once in the present tense, it might have made a difference. But he never had. Only when he had decided that the relationship was over was he ready to admit to his true feelings. Even if she shouldn't have had to hear it and just had seen his efforts as shows of his affection, it didn't stop her heart from breaking.

It was far easier for her to be angry with him once more than worry about her role in the mess – a complete turn-around from how she'd felt immediately post-breakup. It still felt like she'd been punished for uttering one word, no matter what he'd tried to say about it being a series of events that led to their estrangement. Everything they'd been through could be worked on, she felt. But he was content to just throw in the towel and quit. It still shocked her after this much time had passed to think of it. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more humiliated she felt. The humiliation made considering a pregnancy at time add insult to injury.

How selfish he had been! He wanted to end it. He wanted them to remain friends. Now that she thought about it, she didn't recall much mention of what she wanted in his self-righteous little speech. And his patronising tone of voice when he had told her it was for the best and that one day she would see that too had been galling. He had spoken to her as though she was a child. Now if she were with child, what was he going to do about that?

Not much, if she knew him. She was sure he'd try to stand by her, but it would be out of duty rather than any sense of love. His pity wasn't what she wanted. If they got back together at all, it wouldn't be because of a baby. Yes, she'd once hoped a child would bring them closer together, but she didn't want it being the only thing keeping them together. He had to want to come back on his own accord. Until then, she would manage on her own, just as she always did. So let Snarf go tell Lion-O what's going on. Felina was determined not to let him break her heart all over again. She'd already asked for one more chance and got rejected. She wasn't going to cling to him now that she might be having a baby. That would just be pathetic. She had her pride, too!

At least one person didn't judge her. She'd been to the Treetop Kingdom a few days ago to check on word about the missing Thunderians, when she and Arilla had quite a good talk. Arilla was a good listener, and although Cheetara would have likely indulged Felina's concerns as well, it was nice to have a friend outside the tight social circle of the Thundercats where nothing remained secret for long. Of course, she hadn't flat out mentioned a possible pregnancy, but she had a hunch Arilla suspected. Arilla, in fact, was the one that reminded her not to grovel and to remember that a woman was entitled to have a little pride, too.

Felina had enough of lying there wallowing in her sorrows, sat up, and dried her tears. She wanted to be strong, but the resolve and the execution were often separate struggles. The prospect was almost too daunting for words and she pushed it to the back of her mind.

This was Snarf's fault, putting silly ideas about babies in her head. What did he know? So what if she was tired? The other Thundercats were equally exhausted. The last few weeks had been difficult on all of them. As for the sickness, nowhere had she read that pregnancy made a person sick all day. It was called morning sickness for a reason, after all. And it took more than a few couplings to be successful. From what she'd heard, it took some people years to have children. Cheetara and Tygra were perfect examples of that. Whatever it was making her sick it couldn't possibly be because she was pregnant.

Feeling a little better at that thought, she got to her feet and left the bathroom. Wandering through her book-littered room, she revelled in a certain sense of liberation at seeing her things left exactly where she wanted them. Back in her own room with her own space, she could study as much and whenever she liked and leave her things scattered about the room without having Lion-O moaning about it.

True, she used to be a lot neater. She used to be a lot of things, but either way, she'd convinced herself that the bad with Lion-O outweighed the good. She ignored the nagging voice that asked her why then, was her heart broken, if he were really so insufferable? Why did she reach for him in the middle of the night? Why did she find herself staring at him with sorrowful longing? Why couldn't she stop thinking about that last fateful joining before her embarrassing slip, where her desire for him had never been stronger and his touch had never before so electrified her senses? And why did it hurt her so bad to realize she may never know him like that again?

"He's a stupid cur, that's why," she muttered crossly at her own nagging conscience, feeling immediately bad for the harshness of the barb even as she was booting a small tome across the floor for emphasis.

Her emotions were up and down and all over the place lately, like she was stuck on a wild ride that never ended – with the nausea to match. She was fit to blame her marital troubles for much of that, if not Snarf's cooking or a flu bug, like she'd said.

As for those silly thoughts of being pregnant, she could only laugh at how stupid she'd been to worry herself silly over nothing. Whatever she had would soon pass and she'd be herself again. Free to get on with her life and forget about him. He wanted a marriage in name only, and that's exactly what she would give him seems how her efforts to show some maturity and grace had gotten her nowhere with him in the past weeks.

Determined not to waste another minute locked in the bedroom, she opened her door and peeped out. Snarf had gone, which was something of a relief, but further down the corridor, she could see Tygra approaching. Avoiding him was becoming increasingly difficult now that the repairs on the Feliner were nearly complete and her excuses were becoming less and less plausible. He would accept her reasons for putting off another lesson, but she could tell that he was perplexed and a little hurt by this behaviour. But how could she ever tell him the truth?

She inwardly groaned for no matter how she tried to delve into any of the serious matters she should be concerned about instead, some ugly bit of drama was intertwined in it all. There was just no getting away from it, and that, she thought, was the source of her fatigue. Dealing with it all was finally getting to her.

With another awkward situation at hand, she considered hurrying quickly in the other direction before he saw her and she were forced to lie again. For once, however, the sickness made itself useful. Another wave of nausea abruptly soured her stomach and brought bile into her mouth. Scrambling back into her room, she cursed Snarf's cooking and vowed never to be tempted by his candy fruit pie again.


Tygra frowned when he saw Felina look out of her room, only to vanish back inside a second later. He was sure she'd seen him and even more certain that she was avoiding him. He'd racked his brains till his head hurt for a reason. Had he done or said something to make her feel uncomfortable in his presence? He didn't think so. Unless she told him, however, he was never going to know. When she was ready, he supposed she'd explain. Until then, it was another mystery along with many others that occupied his waking hours.

For now, he was too tired to give it any further thought. All he wanted was to fall into bed and sleep until dawn. Finally he could with a clear conscience. The Feliner was almost ready to take to the skies again and this time with more success than on her maiden flight. It had taken a bit longer than Panthro had estimated initially to do it right and proper, but he thought, it would be worth it. They had systematically rooted out every last glitch and she was ready to tackle whatever Third Earth threw at them, providing she didn't run out of fuel. That was always going to be a problem, given their precarious supply difficulties. Hope was on the horizon, however, and he had already consulted Panthro about investigating the possible sites for Thundrillium the Feliner had discovered. Lion-O was all for going without delay, but he had advised caution. They were all tired and needed a rest. Rushing into a Mutant trap unprepared would do them no favours.

The lure of bed was almost impossible to resist and only the low murmur of a voice coming from the nursery made him pause. On impulse, he opened the door, expecting to see Cheetara, only to find Snarf instead. The nursemaid looked up at his entrance and gestured to him to enter.

"Hi, Snarf," he said. "I didn't mean to disturb you."

Snarf smiled contentedly. "You didn't."

He indicated the sleeping child in the crib and Tygra wandered over to gaze down at his daughter. She looked so small and vulnerable, lying amidst a scattering of sheets and toys, and he had to fight the impulse to pick her up and disturb her. Not that she would mind. She was a happy baby and an unusually quiet one at that. Growing up in an extended family, his early memories were filled with the sounds of babies crying and wailing. There had been times when it had been so unbearable he had had to put a pillow over his head and beg for them to stop. Velouria was the exact opposite, due no doubt to the calming influence of her mother, he supposed. She hardly ever made a sound and when she did, it was a muted gurgle. Only her expression would give him any indication of her true mood. At this moment, she looked peaceful enough. Snarf, however, had a worried crease across his brow as he too watched her silent slumbers.

"Is everything all right?" Tygra asked.

Snarf shook himself out of his thoughts. "Oh, yes. She's fine."

"Good. Where's Cheetara? I expected to find her here."

"I told her to take the night off. You both need a rest. She told me to tell you that she's waiting for you upstairs."

They were already on the highest level. Upstairs could only mean she was on the viewing platform in the cat's head. "Thanks, Snarf," he said. "I appreciate you doing this."

"It's no trouble," assured Snarf. "Only..." He paused and turned guilty eyes in his direction. "I hate to say this, Tygra, but have you noticed anything strange about Velouria?"

A finger of ice travelled the length of his spine. "No," he said, trying to act as calm as possible. "Have you?"

Snarf's frown returned. "She's very quiet, don't you think? I mean, she doesn't cry much, does she? Doesn't really make much noise at all, snarf, snarf. Not like Lion-O used to. Now he was a noisy baby. Used to bawl the Lair down he did."

"Well, let's enjoy it while we can. When she's older, I'm sure she'll have plenty to say for herself."

He turned for the door, needing to escape.

"Tygra?" Snarf called after him.

"Yes, Snarf," he said, reluctantly turning back.

"I'd never say anything in front of Cheetara, but have you ever considered that Velouria... well, that she might be..."

"What?"

The icy fingers were back, squeezing around his insides until his gut was a knot of anxiety. He couldn't entirely ignore what Snarf was saying. He'd had too much experience with children not to know what he was talking about. And, if he was honest, Velouria's silence had struck him as unnatural for some time. It had reached the point where he longed for her to be upset just so that she would wail and let him know that she was all right.

Snarf took a deep breath and looked uncomfortable. "That she might be deaf?"

A lance of pure ice was driven through his heart. "No, that's impossible."

"Have you checked?"

"She's fine, Snarf. She's just a quiet baby, that's all." He was angry now out of desperation driven by the horror of what Snarf was suggesting. Determined to prove him wrong, he plucked Velouria from her bed and called to her. "Wake up, sweet pea," he said, softly at first, then louder. "Come on, Velouria."

She opened sleepy eyes and he smiled. "There, Snarf, see. She's fine. She heard me."

"You disturbed her. Of course she woke up, poor little mite."

"No, you're wrong." He replaced her in her crib and stood behind her, out of her direct line of sight. "Watch this."

He snapped his fingers close to her ear and waited for a response. Velouria did not take her gaze from the bouncing animals that hung from the mobile above her bed. He called her name and still she did not stir. Only when he tapped her shoulder did she turn her head to look at him. She beamed up at him and made a strangled sound that could have been happiness or frustration or any number of emotions that she had no way of expressing.

He sunk down in the chair beside the crib and felt his gut lurch. "She is, isn't she?"

Snarf nodded. "I think she is, Tygra. Had you really not noticed?"

He shook his head. "Yes, I had. I just didn't want to think it possible."

"Does Cheetara know?"

"I've never asked her."

"Poor little mite," Snarf repeated, reaching out to pat Velouria's head. "Strange though, she used to cry, when she was a newborn. The deafness must have come on since then."

"Or have been caused by something external." The enormity of what he was saying struck him as the words left his mouth. "The illness she had after we returned from that island..."

"You think it left her deaf?"

"I don't know." He prayed not, though it did seem to be the starting point of her unsettling silence. If he thought back before that, he had to admit she did respond to sound. To think that he had been responsible for robbing his daughter of her hearing was more than he could bear. He got to his feet, needing to put some space between himself and the nursery. "We'll talk about this later. Look after Velouria."

"You know I will," he said. "Poor little mite."

"She's not poor," Tygra snapped, his inner turmoil getting the better of him. "She's got us. We'll help her. I'll find a way to help her. I just..." He held up his hand. "Snarf, I'm sorry. I have to go."

Snarf nodded and accepted this statement in silence. Tygra shook his head. There was too much of that around him lately. Felina being silent about her reasons for not continuing their lessons, silence about news concerning the missing Thunderians, silence for too long from the engines of the Feliner, even silence now in his daughter's room. He needed noise. He needed Cheetara.

He headed out of the nursery and walked straight into Lion-O. Another person who was spending too much time in quiet contemplation, Tygra thought. He saw a question forming in Lion-O's curious eyes, but he could not face an interrogation now.

"I'm sorry, Lion-O, I can't stop," he said, pushing past him.

"But I only--"

"No!" he hollered over his shoulder, filling the brooding air with blessed sound. "Later!"

His flying feet carried him on down the corridor before anyone else could put another obstacle in his way.


Lion-O watched him go, wondering what he'd done to provoke such a reaction in the normally mild-tempered tiger. If anyone could be relied upon to keep his cool, it was Tygra. Yet the look on his face had been extreme and his manner unusually ruffled. Couldn't have been anything he'd done, Lion-O thought. Perhaps he'd had an argument with Cheetara. Now that would make a change. It was strangely consoling to know that upsets were not only confined to Felina and himself.

As intrigued as he was, there was little to be gained by hanging about in the corridor. Whatever was bothering Tygra would clearly have to wait. With that thought, Lion-O continued to his room and entered. The chamber was in darkness, save for the silver rectangle of light cast by the moon through the window. Peeling off his belt, he tossed it onto the bed with a sigh. Everything was neat and tidy and ordered. The room lacked mess, in particular Felina's mess. It had driven him wild at the time, but he found he missed the hairbrush left carelessly on the chair, waiting to prickle his behind when he sat down. He missed her clutter in the bathroom and her perfumed soap that he would use by mistake causing him to carry her scent around with him all day. The same fragrance used to linger in the bed sheets but that had faded by now. He missed her nagging him about not putting the toilet seat down, which for some reason he had never been able to fathom irritated her out of all proportion. More than anything, he missed her at night in his bed, warm and gently breathing beside him. He never thought he would admit it, but he missed her beyond belief.

At the time, he was sure he was making the right decision in insisting on their break up. He convinced himself it had been the only thing to do. Otherwise, they risked pushing past the point of no return where they couldn't forge a friendship much less remain lovers. He had told himself that she would welcome their separation, being a sensible woman – surely she could see where they were headed and didn't want to end up bitter and embattled.

Then he had seen her reaction. It had torn his insides to shreds seeing her plead with him for a second chance, the way she had thrown her pride at his mercy. He wished he could erase that memory from his mind, but the harder he fought it, the more it came back to haunt him. At the time he put up a stern front for he really had thought it was for the better good. If only they could tough it out, he was sure that time would heal their wounds and then maybe someday, in the future, they could salvage something of their relationship.

He closed his eyes and silently berated his own stupid pride. Not having her was infinitely worse than having her, he had decided. He would rather have her here thinking of someone else than have to endure another night alone second-guessing his decision. He suddenly hoped she felt the same way – that instead of time making it easier to deal with her absence, he found he was still in love with her as much as ever – and she missed him, too. Perhaps he should lay his fear of failure aside and give it one more chance, as he was no longer so sure this wasn't hurting just as much as another misstep. Perhaps it was time they talked.

Making up his mind, and tossing aside all the stern lectures his conscience had laid on him over the last several weeks about the dangers of backsliding, he set off to find Felina. As expected, he found the door to her room shut and at his knocking he heard her voice call from within.

"It's me," he called out, and a moment later, she appeared in the now open doorway, barring his entrance.

"What do you want?" she asked, forgoing pleasantries.

Her look and her voice spoke of her weariness and he wondered whether he was doing the right thing by disturbing her. He noticed that she seemed a little sluggish lately, but he hadn't realised she was actually sick. Had he done this to her with his insistence on breaking up? If so, it made him feel worse that he already did.

"May I come in?" he asked. "I want to talk to you about something."

She gave him a look that seemed to suggest that was the last thing she wanted, and then grudgingly stood to one side to let him pass. He entered to find the room much as he expected. In the glow of the lamplight he found books on the bed and clothes on the floor. There was even a hairbrush on the chair.

"Felina, about us," he began, taking a deep breath, "we really need to talk about our situation."

She folded her arms. "Do we? I thought we'd already covered that. I mean, I thought you already covered that."

He winced, and regarded her sheepishly. He had a sudden fear he was probably going to make matters worse, as he did seem to have a way of saying the wrong things to her. Even so, he drew a deep breath and pressed on. "I'm sorry. I really am. But time has moved on. We've both had the chance to think things over and in view of how things have changed, I think--"

"Changed?" she said, interrupting him, and he thought, regarding him with suspicion. "Have they?"

He was a little taken aback by her forcefulness, but decided he deserved that. "I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. I guess that's my fault."

Hostility burned off her like a raging fire. "Who told you that? It's not true. Please, don't flatter yourself to think you have that kind of effect on me."

Lion-O exercised patience, knowing that his actions before had hurt her and now she was lashing out. In addition, she was right. It did come off as rather presumptuous of him.

"No one told me. I couldn't help but notice though. I thought given the circumstances maybe we could make an effort to be more than civil to each other. It's not working this way either." He decided to throw his pride at her mercy. "I really miss you, Felina. I was wrong."

"You mean you want to try again?" Her tone was filled with suspicion. "No, Lion-O, you were right. Our breaking up was for the best. You told me I'd see the sense of it in time and I have." She gestured to the door. "Now, if you'd go please, I'm busy."

Her curt dismissal stung more than a little. Lion-O had the overwhelming impression that he'd missed something in their conversation that was important, but clearly Felina was in no mood to discuss it. For one thing, if she really loved him as much as she'd claimed, it struck him as odd that she would be so over him by now. But then, perhaps she was still too hurt from the confrontation on Hook Mountain to react any other way. He supposed he should have expected as much, but once again his naivety concerning women and relationships had tripped him up.

He did as he was told, hoping all she needed was more time to forgive him for his thoughtlessness, and was almost out of the room when he paused.

"Felina, I've not done something, have I?" Maybe there was more to it than he'd just rationalized.

"Why would you say that?"

"You seem a little... tense."

"No, Lion-O, I'm fine. I'm... happy."

Not quite the response he expected, but it could have been worse. "Good. I'll leave you to it then. We are still friends, aren't we? I mean, you'd tell me if there was anything wrong."

She grunted something that sounded unfavourable. "Oh, you'll be the first to know. Goodnight."

The closing door almost caught him as he left. Out in the corridor, he tried to pick his way through their conversation to see what she had really been trying to tell him. He had shown concern, she had denied that she was ill and then she'd denied him a second chance, of which he was sure he deserved at this point. But they had parted as friends. A nagging suspicion told him that there was more to it than that, but he was at a loss to know what. Shaking his head in bewilderment, he headed back to his darkened room to sleep away another lonely night.

He had almost reached the door when he saw Cheetara coming from the opposite direction. From the shawl wrapped round her shoulders, he guessed that she had been up in the viewing platform.

"Have you seen Tygra?" she asked. "I've been waiting for him and he hasn't shown up."

"He's around," Lion-O said, deciding not to elucidate on the tiger's strange mood. If they had been arguing, she probably knew already. "I think he was going downstairs."

"He was? That's strange. I told Snarf to tell him to meet me upstairs." Her brow furrowed. "I'd better go and find him to see if he's all right."

"Uh, he seemed a little strained actually."

"He did? Did he say why?"

"No, he shot past me like there were a hundred Mutants on his tail."

"Hmm, that doesn't sound so good. Thanks, Lion-O. Sweet dreams."

He watched her go, reflecting that his dreams would be a whole lot sweeter if Felina were there to share them.


The light showed under the door of his study and it didn't take much imagination to guess where Tygra had gone. This was where he usually went to ground when he was troubled, although Cheetara found it strange that he should choose to do so at this hour. Whatever it was must have been urgent.

She had enough respect for his privacy to knock before entering. When he made no answer, however, she opened the door and found him standing by his desk, engrossed in a particularly large tome. He glanced up when he registered her presence and his expression fell a little. Somewhat disappointed by this response, she considered leaving, but he pulled himself together and came over to her.

"I was worried when you didn't come," she said. "And Lion-O said you were in a state. Is something the matter?"

It was a question she didn't really need to ask. She could tell from his eyes that something was troubling him deeply.

"Cheetara, there's something I have to tell you."

She put a finger to his lips. "Come upstairs. I have a feeling this isn't good news and I want to be sitting down when I hear it."

She took his hand and led the way back from where she had come. Up in the cat's head lookout, the air was fresher than the recycled atmosphere of indoors – if a bit chilled from the change of seasons coming on - and there was a sense of freedom that was not limited by four walls. The inky horizon wrapped around them, telling of the presence of a wider universe and peoples who lived and died millions of miles away from this quiet corner of Third Earth. From here, she had watched the progress of the stars and wondered about their creation. For thousands of years before her birth, they had shone brightly in the heavens and would shine still long after her generation were nothing but dimly remembered footnotes in the history of the Thundercats. Viewed like that, how small were their lives, how insignificant. Whatever Tygra had to say could not be so terrible as to cause the stars to come crashing down from their astral glory.

Tygra sat down beside her with his back to the view. She waited for him to speak, trying to read the ills that troubled his soul in his lowered eyes. When finally he did meet her gaze she thought she detected there such sorrow, it was enough to water down their bright amber colouring.

Moved, she reached for him and placed her hand on his knee. "What is it? Tell me."

He drew a deep breath and his hand went to hers. "It's Velouria," he said quietly. "I think... I'm not entirely sure, but Snarf seems to be of the opinion and so am I that Velouria is..." Another deep breath. "Cheetara, I think the fever she suffered has damaged her hearing and left her with acute deafness."

She felt him searching for a reaction from her. "Yes," she said, "I know."

"You do?"

"I'm her mother. I've known for a while."

His mouth dropped open in surprise and then he pulled her to him and hugged her. "I'm so sorry," he said. "This is my fault."

She held him tightly, as if the strength of her embrace would drive away the scar upon their family. "No, it isn't. No one is to blame. Not you, not the Thunderkittens - this has happened and we have to deal with it."

He pulled away and gently wiped away a tear that had escaped down her cheek. "My brave Cheetara, bearing this burden on your own. Why didn't you say before now?"

She sighed and pulled her wrap a little closer about her shoulders. "Because I knew how it would affect you. I knew you would blame yourself."

"If only you hadn't had to rescue me from that island--"

"If only never helped," she said firmly. "What is done is done. There is nothing we can do about it. All that matters is that you are alive and that Velouria survived that terrible illness. You are both still with me, that is all I care about. Now we must look to the future."

He smiled in spite of his sadness. "I thought I would need to comfort you, but here you are, making me feel better."

"Well, I've had longer to think about it. I was upset at first. I was sad for Velouria and all the things she will miss, along with the difficulties she will face. Then I realised that the alternative could have been worse. She's still my daughter, still my little Velouria, but now she's even more special." She reached up to brush a loose strand of his mane from his cheek. "I don't deny that it's going to be difficult for us and her, but I have made her a promise that we will help her every step of the way. She will not miss out on anything if it is in our power to give it."

"You read my mind," Tygra said, twisting his head just enough so that his lips brushed her palm. "In fact, I've already started looking at ways of devising a device to boost whatever hearing she has left. What nature took away, science may be able to replace, or at least replicate it."

Strange how he always knew the right things to say, she mused. At that moment, she knew she loved him more than ever. On impulse, she drew nearer and kissed him, reaching out to his wounded soul and begging him to let her give him the healing he needed. He accepted her offering and reciprocated with a need that left them both breathless.

"We'll go through this together," she said, drawing away enough to see his expression, glowing again with renewed hope.

"As always."

"Because together we can overcome anything, even this."

His hand slid around her waist and he pulled her to him. "Have I ever told you just how much I love you?"

She smiled up at him, knowing exactly what he had in mind. "Not lately. Why don't you refresh my memory?"


"Disgusting," Slithe lisped, drawing back in his lips in a grimace. "It's enough to make you sick."

Jackalman craned forward, trying to peer through the lens of the telescopic night goggles that Slithe held inches from his eyes. "What is? What are they doing?"

"Spooning up there for all to see. It's disgusting, yesss."

"Awk, well, you don't have to look," Vultureman squawked. "We are supposed to be on surveillance."

"I have to look somewhere," Slithe muttered. "And there's precious little else going on."

From the comfort of his tree branch, Monkian lay with his eyes closed and listened with mild amusement to the squabbles of his fellow Mutants. There was really no good reason to be out here at all, apart from Mumm-ra's insistence that they shadow the Thundercats and try to discover whether they had yet been successful in finding their missing countrymen. It was a mystery to all why he bothered them with this task, when he bragged constantly about the ability of the Ancient Spirits of Evil to see all and know all. He claimed he was calling upon the greatest power imaginable to scour Third Earth for the accursed felines. Clearly, he wasn't having much success, hence their nightly watch on Cat's Lair. Monkian suspected that Mumm-Ra was still weaker than he wanted to admit, but just in case, he wasn't foolish enough to utter the suspicions aloud. Mumm-Ra irked and weak could still singe the fur off a Mutant's backside and that wasn't something Monkian wanted to endure.

Vultureman had rightly questioned why it couldn't be done from Castle Plun-darr, given their long-range scanning capabilities, but Mumm-ra was having none of it. Secretly, Monkian had come to the opinion that he was making them suffer for the fracas in the forest. Still, the look on Mumm-ra's face when they had cut him down from the tree where the Thundercats had left him was worth a few sleepless nights.

"What are they doing now?" Jackalman was asking. "Let me see!"

"Still kissing," Slithe said. "It's disgusting."

"So you keep saying," said Vultureman. "Is that because they are Thundercats or do you have an aversion to the act itself?"

The atmosphere dropped several degrees and Monkian chuckled to himself in the darkness. Vultureman had a way of needling Slithe that was priceless and the reptilian always took the bait.

"Watch it you!" Slithe growled. "Or I'll make you eat your tail feathers for breakfast!"

"Hmm, I'd like to see you try," Vultureman said contemptuously.

"I want to go home," Jackalman whined, forestalling the inevitable row. "Why are we here?"

"Do you mean in terms of some great galactic purpose or here and now?"

"Er..." Jackalman was hardly the brightest star in heavens and was having trouble with Vultureman's question. "Here and now?" he ventured at last.

"Because we were too stupid to go off with Grune and instead got left here, running around behind Mumm-ra like his tame puppy."

"You might be," said Slithe. "I'm here because I want those Thunderians."

"And because Mumm-ra threatened to fry you on the spot if you stayed in bed," Jackalman reminded him.

"And that," Slithe conceded. "What happened to Grune anyway?"

"Who cares?" Vultureman muttered dismissively. "I knew he was trouble. Never trust a Thunderian, even if they are the enemy of an enemy. You should be happy he's not around bossing us about and leave it at that."

The conversation continued, but Monkian found his thoughts turning back to that phrase: the enemy of an enemy. It fit his relationship with Arilla, although he wasn't entirely sure that made her a friend. An ally perhaps, but not one he would trust with his life. Of course, he couldn't really say that about any of the comrades currently in his presence, so it mattered little.

His caution seemed to be wise for his ears picked up an approaching whistle. He sat up trying to gauge its direction, and a second later an arrow thudded into the tree in the spot where his head had been.

"What in the putrid fog pits of Plun-darr was that?" Slithe demanded. "Someone shooting at us?"

Monkian yanked the arrow free and found the note tied around its shaft. Lose them and meet me, it read.

"Hoo-hoo, I, uh, think I should investigate this," Monkian said, jumping down from his branch.

"Your lady friend wanting you again, is she?" Vultureman said, arching his brows inquiringly.

"How do you--" Monkian checked himself. There seemed to be no secret that anyone could keep from him. "I'll be back later," he said instead. "Don't leave without me."

He headed away into the gloomy forest, ears straining to catch any trace of movement that would betray her presence, relying on his ears more than his sight for under the canopy deeper in the forest, the moonlight wasn't much of an illuminator. He was getting better at playing this game, although it still took him by surprise when a blade was slipped under his chin.

"Arilla?" he said nervously.

"Got you, again." She deftly released him and returned the knife to its sheath on her belt. "You took your time."

"But I only just got your note."

"Hmm, well, perhaps I expect too much. You are, after all, only a male."

Her tone and manner made him bristle with annoyance. If his sex made him so useless, he wondered, why did she even bother with him? She never could answer that one. "What was it you wanted?" he snapped. "Or did you get me out here just to waste my time with this nonsense?"

"I have something for you," she said. "Information you might find useful."

"About this Nayda thing you were going on about?"

"No, about Lion-O and Felina."

Monkian sighed. Details of the increasingly fractious relationship between the Lord of the Thundercats and his lady weren't what he wanted at all.

"Word is Felina might be expecting."

"Expecting what?"

She stared at him incredulously. "You aren't serious? A baby of course."

"Bully for them. So what?" It wasn't the little ones he cared about. It was the big Cats that were the eternal thorn in his side.

"'So what'?" she echoed. "If you can't think of any reason why that information might be useful, then it's obvious why the Thundercats always beat you."

"No, they don't," Monkian growled. "We've had a run of bad luck, that's all."

She grinned. "Like that episode in the forest?"

He felt his jaw grow slack. How in Plun-darr did she know about that? He was convinced the woman had little else to do but lurk around the forest poking her nose in every else's business.

"That was Mumm-ra's fault," he said, trying to claw back some credibility for Mutant kind. "Anyway, what are you doing out here in the dead of night?"

She gestured to something half-hidden in the shadows. "A friendship offering for the Thundercats. The bounty of the forest has been great this year. We must share our good fortune so that the woodland gods will smile upon us next year."

Monkian investigated the cloth-covered mound and found a dead stag. "Hoo-hoo, I'm a friend. Let me have it."

Arilla slapped his hand away. "Get your own. Willa will know I'm up to something if this doesn't get to the Thundercats. She's already suspicious about that message I told her came from the southern tribes. If she asks them to confirm it, I'll have to make a quick getaway." She laid a hand upon his shoulder. "I can count on you, can't I, if I find myself in need of a bed for the night?"

"Of course," he lied. He'd rather lie on a bed of nails than have that woman inside Castle Plundarr. "Now, I have to get back. You aren't the only one with suspicious colleagues. You find out anything else, you let me know."

"Will do," she said, as he plunged back into the depths of the forest. "After all, that's what allies are for."

Monkian began his trek back to where Slithe and the others were perched but paused when he heard something. Arilla would have been long out of range for it to be her, so he remained still, straining his ears to pick up on any further disturbance.

His gentle breaths and the trees rustling in the breeze were all he could hear at first. And then there it was again, like a footfall snapping a branch.

"Who's there?" he demanded into the dimly moonlit forest, and only got silence as a reply. "Jackalman, if that's you I'm going to pummel you!"

Damn nosy Mutants, he thought to himself as he continued on his way.


The bell rang insistently. A visitor in the dead of night and no one was there to answer it but the poor sap on guard duty. Panthro accepted his lot and trudged down the stairs, grumbling to himself. Only when it occurred to him that he was starting to sound like Snarf did he check his mood. Just as well, for as he reached the last stair, he met Felina coming from the direction of the kitchen with a glass in her hand.

"I didn't expect to see you up," Panthro said. "No wonder you're so tired lately."

"I just came down to get a drink," she said. "Who's at the door?"

"Just a Warrior Maiden."

"Funny time to be calling."

"Funny people," he grunted in reply.

She hovered behind him as he went to the door and opened it. Into the light stepped the woman he remembered Nayda saying made her feel uncomfortable. Now what was her name?

"Arilla," said Felina, unwittingly supplying him with an answer when she greeted their guest. "Good to see you. What brings you out this time of night?"

"A gift for the Thundercats from Willa," she said, holding out two ropes to Panthro.

Intrigued, he pulled on them and a hurdle with a bundle was dragged into view. He pulled back the cloth and nodded in appreciation at the sizeable stag on the wicker runners. It didn't escape his notice that Felina blanched at the sight of the stag, which he found odd. She'd been on hunts and surely had seen a carcass before.

"Sorry to call so late, but we maidens do not have methods to properly cool meats so it had to be delivered quickly," explained Arilla. "I was hoping one of you would be on watch. You usually are."

"Don't worry," Panthro assured her, "we have a deep freeze. Impressive," he added. "This all for us?"

"To do with whatever you will," said Arilla, with just enough scorn to make him feel it. Panthro was starting to see why the woman unnerved Nayda. There was always this undercurrent of hostility about Arilla. Her attention turned to Felina. "I trust you'll be able to partake of this offering. My people say the meat is good for women in your condition."

Felina's cheeks coloured and she glanced nervously at Panthro. He thought she actually looked like she was going to be sick. "My condition?" she stammered. "It's just a little sickness."

Arilla's expression changed. "Oh, forgive me. I understood differently. The general consensus after your visit was that you were--"

"I'm fine," she said hurriedly. "Nothing that won't pass in time."

"In that case, I wish you a speedy recovery." She gave a slight bow. "My compliments to the Thundercats."

She disappeared back into the darkness and Panthro closed the door. Felina tried to avoid him and shuffled uncomfortably on the spot.

"I'll be getting back to bed," she said, making her way back to the stairs.

"Felina, is there something you aren't telling us?" he called after her.

She paused. "About what?"

"About you. Everyone seems to know what's going on but me. Now I know you've been acting strangely these past few weeks and say it's none of my business if you like, but if there's a problem, let's deal with it before it gets out of hand."

"There's no problem," she insisted.

He fixed her with his sternest stare and defied her to lie to him. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Her sharp inhalation was enough to confirm his suspicions, despite her abrupt denial. "I'm not."

He shook his head. "Felina, I know the signs. My wife was exactly the same when she was expecting our first child."

"I'm not!"

He held up his hands. "Fine, you're not. But get yourself checked out. I think you're in for a shock."

She looked on the verge of tears. He'd said enough and sooner or later she was going to have to find out for herself. She turned, only to stop suddenly and gasp. He followed her gaze to see what had caused this reaction and saw Lion-O standing on the bottom step. From the look on his face, it was evident he'd heard every word they had said.

"Felina?" he said in a wavering voice. "Is... is it true?"

Her hand went to her mouth. "I don't know."

"I do."

Snarf appeared at the top of the stairs and bounded down to join them. Panthro sighed. Was the whole household awake?

"I thought so earlier." Snarf tapped Lion-O's leg. "You mean you didn't know?"

"No," he said in the voice of someone in a dream. "Felina, when were you going to tell me?"

"I don't know that it's true yet," she said, her tone so insistent it was as though she was determined to convince herself above all. She tried to get past him, but he caught her arm. "Let me go! Why can't you just leave me alone?"

She shook him free and bolted up the stairs. Snarf watched her go with a bemused expression on his face.

"Yep, she's pregnant all right."

Panthro let loose with rolling laughter, Lion-O's stunned reaction suddenly amusing. "Don't look so shocked, kid. You had to know it was possible."

"Yeah, it was possible," he said vacantly. "Why didn't she tell me?"

Panthro folded his arms. "Probably didn't know herself. She's only young and a first time mother, too." He patted Lion-O on the shoulder. "Congratulations. You're going to be a father."

Lion-O looked only fractionally less stupefied than a moment before. It would take time to sink in, Panthro mused. It always did. He could remember the first time he had learnt of his impending fatherhood and recalled disbelief equal to that which Lion-O was experiencing. Watching him now, deep down he envied the joy that would come later when Lion-O held the tiny babe for the first time. Moments like this made his loss fresh again in his mind, and he made a silent prayer to whatever forces lie beyond that Lion-O would never have to feel something else he knew about all too well – that loss that was not quite any other.

Now though was a time to celebrate the moment, not torture himself with the past or what horrors the future could hold. It was time for positive thinking. "I think a drink is in order," he said. "Snarf, get the others, I'll get the glasses. We have a toast to make!"

Lion-O was still looking up the stairs where Felina had disappeared. "Go on without me," he muttered before going after her.

Panthro exchanged glances with Snarf and shrugged. "Maybe it's just you and me then. Let 'em get over the shock."

Before Snarf could respond, the Thunderkittens came tearing through the Lair's front doors, looking a bit shaken and breathless.

Panthro scowled. He knew they had been doing some sleuthing but even he hadn't realized they'd gone back out. Sneaky little pair, they were. But he supposed, that was the idea in this case. "What's going on, you two?"

"Mutants, spying in the forest," Kit managed between ragged breaths.

"Then Monkian left, met with someone else. Some girl," Kat added.

Panthro didn't like the sound of this. "Well, did you see who it was?"

Kit shook her head. "Kat dropped our night goggles from a branch and broke 'em," she admitted, shooting her twin a disapproving look to which he simply shrugged. "It was dark in the forest and we didn't want to get too close. Monkian heard us after she left as it is."

Kat laughed. "The idiot thought we were Jackalman."

"Did you hear what they said?" Snarf prompted.

Kit nodded. "Some of it. Our audio stuff was still working pretty good."

"And?" Panthro and Snarf questioned in unison.

Kit and Kat exchanged a worried glance, prolonging the information, which annoyed Panthro quite a bit. "Maybe something's going on with Felina that we don't know about, but they were talking about her having a baby like they were planning…something."

Some sort of mix of anger and fear shot through Panthro. Whatever they had planned, he swore, they wouldn't get very far. He'd see to that.

Without a word, he left the others behind and bounded back up to the control room. Panthro took his seat before the telescreen. He focused in on the forest beyond the plains in front of the Lair, and sure enough the infrared scanners picked up four lumps of Mutant-shaped heat in the limbs there. A crooked smile came on Panthro's lips as he readied the Balista. Fire was his first thought, but then he didn't want to risk sparking a forest fire.

"Let's cool you off," he muttered while punching a sequence of buttons. Sitting back in the chair and locking his fingers together behind his head, he prepared to watch the show.

Moments later, scanners still focused on the forest, he saw their forms scrambling – he surmised they could see the Balista preparing to launch - but it was too late. A huge ball of ice and snow came catapulting out of the Balista, hitting its mark true.

The act was cathartic, but Panthro knew it was the least of what they'd get if they dared plot to harm Lion-O's offspring or any other cub to bless the Thundercats' clan. Panthro didn't begrudge them much a beef with the grown Cats, but harming cubs was particularly disturbing to him, and the Code be damned, he'd personally break every last Mutant in two if ever they harmed a child while he was alive to do anything about it.

Felina retreated to her bathroom. She was sick again, all right, but it was a slightly different sort. The kind of sick born of panic when one's shakily built wall of denial just came crumbling down. She could deny it no longer, or even debate the question. Everyone knew it and truthfully, so did she. The miracle had happened and she was going to be a mother by early spring.

She sat on the floor, resting her back against the wall and tried to grasp the gravity of it. At least, everyone else would be happy – it's what they'd all wanted from the beginning and likely why they still insisted tradition should be followed to the letter, culminating in the marriage that was going to now bring forth fruit. That was some kind of consolation. For the moment, she couldn't make sense of the emotional chaos going on within her to know how she felt for sure.

A knock at the door snapped her out of her thoughts. She winced when it was Lion-O's voice coming from the other side of the door. It was no use. She couldn't avoid him for months on end so Felina bid him enter if only to get it over with.

He took a seat on the floor beside her without comment, and the couple simply remained in their own quiet contemplation for some time. The silence wasn't as awkward as most. No, Felina felt like they had some sort of unspoken understanding, bonded in the same swirl of mixed emotion and the knowledge that their lives were about to change again irrevocably.

It struck her then that he hadn't suspected her state at all when he came to her before hinting at second chances like she had thought, and on one hand she felt badly for dismissing him so coldly. At the time her defensiveness was a reaction to perceived pity from him, as she'd assumed Snarf had brought his theory to Lion-O and he was there just to make up with her on the basis of her condition.

For a moment, her spirits lifted at the thought that his effort had been truly genuine and devoid of ulterior motive. But that was soon replaced by a reminder of that night on Hook Mountain, his words so final and her heart so broken. Anger swelled as she thought of what nerve he had to come crawling back to her later, as if he saw nothing wrong with doing something so devastating just to take it back later because once again, it was what suited him. Felina was not ready to open herself back up to that kind of hurt again. No, she couldn't deal with that now.

She was aware of his eyes on her, and a moment later felt the warmth of his hand encompass one of hers, which had been resting on the cool tile floor beside her.

"How are you feeling?"

His tone was genuine and when she turned to look at him, saw only concern in his face. Her anger faded, and she was surprised to find herself so willing to show her vulnerable side to him.

"I'm scared," she admitted bluntly, punctuating the statement with a nervous laugh.

A jittery smile formed on his lips. "Me, too." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'll always be here for you. For both of you."

For once, she had no doubt he meant that. She simply nodded.

"Are you happy?" Felina asked suddenly, it being somehow urgent for her to know that the news pleased him in some way. After all, it had been his idea to try in the first place.

"I wish you and I were happier together, but I'm happy about the news. I really did want to start a family with you."

She looked straight ahead and achieved some kind of odd hybrid of laughter and tears as a response. "I'm sorry," she told him, apologizing for her reaction. "I'm a mess lately."

He chanced pulling he close clasping her in a sort of cautious, platonic embrace. For her part, she didn't resist or complain, but simply enjoyed the comfort and contact – it seemed to be what she needed to soothe her mind at the moment. He only pulled back when she found herself laughing again.

"What?"

She was still chuckling a bit even as she wiped away stray tears.

"Nothing," she assured him, not wanting to share with him the fact that they were sitting on the floor in front of the toilet was somehow not anything like she'd imagined this moment unfolding. Felina was learning a lot of things had gone in ways she never could have imagined, so she was growing used to it – even learning to laugh in spite of it.

"You are a good friend. Thank you," she added with sincerity, now suddenly thankful he'd followed her there. He was, she reminded herself, a good soul. No matter what, he wouldn't abandon her and she felt very foolish for worrying she'd go through it alone. Being friends raising a child together might not be so bad after all.

Lion-O smiled down at her, seemingly at a loss for words.


We are on a rock, spinning silently
But I'm safe when you're here with me
These questions I'm asking, they've been haunting me
I need some security, can't you see?
Her love was like a fountain rushing and pouring down
The darkness is putting out the light in me
She's a well to be dug, she's a university
A cosmic library - wait and see

We are on a rock, spinning silently
Won't you get close to me
We are on a rock, spinning in infinity
Won't you get close to me

Is it my genes that have made me?
Is it the things I took, is it the things I said
Does karma rule?
Well if there's a God well can you hear me now?
I am crying out, hoping you know
And in my baby's arms I need no faith
I need no words to define myself
And when I'm holding you, light rushing through
I wanna make it now, safe and straight

We are on a rock, spinning silently
Baby get a hold of me
We are on a rock, spinning in infinity
Baby consoling me

Oh I don't know when the fear's going to end
I don't know if my prayers are received - the ones I send
(We are on a rock, spinning silently)
I can't live in pain and fear
(We are on a rock, spinning in infinity)
Oh I see so much joy and it makes me scared
(We are on a rock, spinning silently)
Oh I don't know if my prayers are received, until the end
(We are on a rock, spinning in infinity)
Oh baby I don't know where I'm going
All I know is that I need you as a friend

-- Science of Silence, Richard Ashcroft