A/N: ***Trigger Warning: This chapter discusses suicide and self harm.***
Chapter 5
Emma stood alone on the dock, tears rushing down her face, while she stared at the spot where Regina had been standing only a few seconds earlier. She barely had time to process what happened when she heard footsteps rushing towards her from the side.
"MOM!" Henry yelled, rushing to Emma's side, pulling her in for a tight hug.
"Kid!" Emma said, holding him tightly.
"Emma?" Snow called, reaching Emma a few moments later, a look of shock on her face when she saw the woman that looked like her daughter.
"Mom?" Emma cried, looking at Snow for a second, waiting for permission to approach her. Snow never hesitated, opening her arms to invite her daughter in for an embrace. "Mom!" Emma cried, falling into her mother's arms. "Mom! I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." Emma cried, her body shaking in her mother's arms, Charming reaching to wrap his arms around them both. "I'm so so sorry."
"Shh. It's ok. It's ok." Snow said quietly, rubbing Emma's back softly. "It's ok."
"No. No it's not. I was so cruel to you. So horrible. The things I did. The things I said." Emma cried, her tears staining Snow's shirt. "They were unforgivable."
"It wasn't you, Emma. We know it wasn't you. It wasn't either of you. It was the Darkness." Snow explained, rubbing Emma's back for comfort.
"Wait. You're ok." Emma said suddenly, pulling away from Snow's embrace. "How are you both ok? Last time I saw you, you both were…"
"Zelena healed us when she and Henry found us." Charming explained.
"Thank you, Zelena." Emma said, finding the woman standing in the back.
"Yeah, whatever. Let's not make a big deal about it." Zelena said.
"Swan?" Killian said from a distance, his remaining hand rubbing his head, as he and Robin picked themselves off the ground, the spell Regina cast wearing off suddenly. "Swan, you're alright! You're you again!" Killian said, rushing to Emma's side, causing her to step away slightly at his touch. "How?"
"I'm wondering about that myself." Charming said, all eyes falling on Emma.
"Well…" Emma started to say, collecting her thoughts. "True Love's Kiss worked after all." She said eventually, blushing slightly.
"Why didn't it work in The Enchanted Forest? Why did it suddenly work now?" Killian asked, rubbing his head again.
"Well…that's because you're not my True Love, Killian." Emma said, her voice just barely above a whisper.
"What?" Killian asked, completely shocked. "Who is it then?" He asked, a sudden scowl on his face.
"Regina." Emma said softly, a deep blush reaching across her face, her eyes fixed on the ground. She slowly looked up, expecting to see a look of shock across everyone's face, but what she was met with was a group of smiling people, all except Killian and Robin. "What's with all the smiling faces?" She asked, looking at her parents and son with confusion.
"I'm just happy for you guys." Henry smiled.
"We had a feeling something was going on." Snow said, smiling.
"What? How? We didn't even know until a few minutes ago." Emma said, confusion deep on her face.
"Your eyes." Charming said, causing Emma to look even more confused. "Both of your eyes were usually black, except when you were looking at each other. Your eyes lightened the moment you saw each other." Charming explained, Snow nodding in agreement, her smile growing.
"Where is Regina now?" Robin asked, his voice sounded disappointed yet still concerned.
"I don't know. She said she couldn't fight the Darkness any longer and she was losing what little humanity she had left. She said she couldn't risk everyone's safety when she became completely dark, and then she just disappeared." Emma explained, her face suddenly dropping. "Oh God! What if she does something stupid!" Emma said, her heart suddenly dropping at the thought. "We have to find her!" She said, her eyes looking at the group.
"Let's split up, we can cover more of the town that way." Charming said, a look of concern washing over his face as well.
"Good idea." Emma said, looking over the group again, her mind running a mile a minute. "Dad, you and Henry go to her house. Check every inch of it. Henry, you know all the secret doors and hideaways in it. Check everything." She said.
"Got it!" Henry said.
"Zelena, you and Robin check her office. Use magic if you have to. She might have secret doors there too that we don't know." She instructed, a nod of acceptance from both Zelena and Robin. "Killian…" She started saying, being interrupted immediately.
"I'll be sitting this one out." Killian said, his face growing red.
"Fine, whatever." Emma said, brushing off Killian's mood. "Mom, come with me to her vault." She said, looking at Snow, getting a nod of approval. "Great. Meet back at the loft to regroup in a little while. Call if you guys find anything." Emma said, everyone taking off in different directions, searching for the missing Queen.
Emma could feel the magical barrier as they approached Regina's vault. She wracked her brain, trying to remember how she deactivated the same barrier during the Spell of Shattered Sight a few months ago. Without saying a word, she raised her hands, and focused all her energy on lowering the spell.
With a sudden flash, the magical barrier was released, allowing Snow and Emma to approach and enter the vault. Shifting the stone coffin to the side, they made their way underground.
"You better wait here." Emma said at the top of the stairs. "There's no telling what The Evil Queen will do when she sees you out of the cell." Emma explained.
"What about you?" Snow asked, grabbing Emma's arm.
"I'll be fine. I don't think she'll hurt me." Emma said. "I'll yell if I need you." She added, turning to slowly make her way down the stairs.
"Regina?" She called out, as she reached the bottom of the stairs, pausing slightly to listen for a response. The air was still and there was an eerie calmness around her that made Emma uneasy. "Regina? Are you here?" She called, again receiving no response.
She was just about to turn around to make her way back upstairs when something caught her eye in a small room off to the side that Emma had never seen before.
That's when she saw her.
Regina was laying on the ground, a pool of blood surrounded her, staining her clothes. She laid so still she almost looked like a mannequin.
"REGINA!" Emma yelled, rushing towards the woman, shaking her slightly. "Regina! Regina wake up!" She screamed, pressing her fingers to the side of Regina's neck, frantically searching for a pulse.
She couldn't find a pulse.
"REGINA! WHAT DID YOU DO?" She yelled, looking down at the source of the blood. Long, deep cuts ran up Regina's wrists, the now empty Dark One dagger lay just off to the side, blood staining the tip. "NO! NO! NO! NO! REGINA! REGINA WAKE UP!" Emma yelled, rolling Regina onto her back, beginning CPR. Regina's body swayed with each compression, her chest rising only when Emma was breathing for her.
Emma had no idea when she started crying.
"MOM! HELP!" Emma screamed, frantically pressing hard into Regina's chest. "Regina! Don't you dare do this to me!" She said, pausing to administer three deep breaths into Regina's mouth, causing her chest to rise slightly. "Regina! Do NOT do this to me!" Emma said again, returning to compression on Regina's chest.
That was how Snow found them a few minutes later.
"Emma! What happened?" Snow asked, rushing towards Regina and Emma on the ground, crouching down next to Regina's head, running her hand lightly over Regina's suddenly pale skin, her face so still.
"She slit her wrists. She was trying to protect us from The Evil Queen." Emma said, pausing to breathe into Regina again. "Call an ambulance." She yelled, resuming compressions.
"Emma…" Snow said, placing her hand on Emma's shoulder. "Emma stop."
"NO!" Emma screamed, breathing into Regina's mouth once again. "Call the ambulance. Please!"
"Emma…" Snow said again, gently pulling Emma away from Regina, only to have Emma return to pumping Regina's chest. "Emma… She's gone…" Snow whispered.
"No! No! She's not! She's not dead! I just need to keep going. She'll wake up!" Emma said, hearing a rib breaking in Regina's chest at the force of her compressions. "She's not gone!" She repeated.
"Emma…" Snow said again, trying to pull Emma away again. "Emma. She's cold."
"NO! No she's not. She's fine." Emma said, slowing her compressions. "Regina! Wake up!" She cried, her tears falling on Regina's chest. "Regina! Wake up!"
"Emma. You have to stop. You're going to hurt yourself." Snow whispered, trying to convince Emma to stop CPR.
"I don't care." Emma cried, the compressions slowing down again.
"Emma…" Snow whispered, as the sound of her cell phone ringing broke her concentration. "Charming…" she said into the phone, her voice low and sad. "Yes, we found her…" she said, listening to Charming's response. "No. It's not good…we…we were too late." Snow said into the phone, slowly stepping away from Emma.
Emma slowly stopped her compressions, the words "we were too late" running through her mind. Regina's body was so still it didn't seem real.
A deep, loud scream came out of Emma's mouth, as she lifted Regina's body into her arms, her face buried in Regina's neck, her skin cold to the touch.
"Why did you leave me?" She cried, Regina's body shaking with her cries. Snow walked out of the room quietly, her own tears streaming down her cheeks, as she dialed the hospital, asking them to send the coroner.
"I Love You, Regina Mills." Emma whispered, kissing Regina's cold lips, holding her tightly, afraid to let her go.
Regina Mills was dead.
Emma refused to leave Regina's side, clutching the woman's body close to her, her cries echoing in the empty room. Snow could only watch as her daughter cried out in pain, occasionally stopping to whisper unknown words into Regina's ear. She had to be physically removed by Charming when the coroner arrived thirty minutes later to officially pronounce Regina dead, her grip on the woman so unbelievably strong it caused the material on Regina's dress to rip. The official cause of death written on Regina's death certificate was suicide.
They stood in front of Regina's vault, watching as the paramedics began to wheel Regina's body out, covered in a thick black tarp. Snow's arms were tightly wrapped around Emma, Henry's face held tightly against Charming's chest to prevent him from seeing the scene as it unfolded. Emma's sobs increased as the gurney passed by the family, one of Regina's perfectly manicured hands slipping down, hanging over the edge. Emma lunged forward, fighting against the strong arms of her mother, eventually making it to Regina, clutching onto her hand one last time, screaming her name, as the pain spread across her chest. Henry's cries increased at the sound of Emma calling out for Regina, Charming tightening his grip on his grandson's body. Emma's grip on Regina's hand slipped as Snow pulled her away and the paramedics kept walking towards the ambulance, loading Regina into it as soon as they reached the doors, driving away quickly.
"REGINA!" Emma screamed, as the rear lights of the ambulance disappeared out of sight. There was nothing anyone could do, as Emma broke down completely, screaming and crying, until her body couldn't take it anymore and she passed out, hitting the ground with a hard thump.
Charming picked Emma up, cradling his unconscious daughter in his arms and carried her to the car, followed by Snow and an unconsolable Henry, his cries as loud as his mother's. Laying Emma softly into the back seat, Henry opting to lay with her, the four of them drove slowly out of the cemetery, following the same path of the ambulance a few moments ago.
Emma woke up a few hours later, laying under the covers of her old bed, Henry's body laying next to her, his arm draped over her stomach. It was clear that he didn't fall asleep peacefully, the tear stains on the pillow a clear indication that he had cried himself to sleep. She shifted slightly, causing him to wake suddenly, his hazel eyes red from crying. As soon as they saw each other, they instantly began crying again, Henry curling against Emma's body, his tears staining her shirt. They cried themselves to sleep over and over again that night, waking every hour or so, repeating the cycle until daybreak, when they finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.
Regina Mills was laid to rest two days later in a private funeral service. Her body lowered into the ground in a perfect white coffin. Snow and Charming made most of the funeral preparations. Emma couldn't bring herself to leave the loft, let alone make the decisions regarding her True Love's final resting place. Henry chose the headstone that would mark her grave, paying whatever was needed to make sure it was ready for the funeral. Emma felt numb during the entire service, standing with her arms around Henry, as they watched Regina being lowered into the ground, dirt eventually covered her coffin, until the words,"Regina Mills, Loving Mother and Loyal Friend." Was all that was left of Regina.
By the end of the day, Emma could barely stand, the weight of her grief pulling her down, as she climbed the stairs to her old bedroom in Snow and Charming's loft. Snow insisted that she and Henry stay the night, neither in any shape to care for themselves or each other. It would be another two days before Emma would be able to get out of bed for more than a few minutes, and another week after that before Henry and Emma left Snow and Charming's loft, deciding they needed space to grieve.
Emma couldn't bring herself to go back to the house she had acquired since becoming the Dark One, the only time she had spent there was with Regina. Memories of her clinging to every inch of the place. Instead, she moved into the manor with Henry, taking residence in Regina's room, falling asleep each night clinging to Regina's pillow, inhaling the last remnants of her scent, memorizing it before it was gone forever.
Henry and Emma rarely left the house. Emma spent most of the time in bed, leaving only when absolutely necessary. They grieved together in whatever way they could. Sometimes they would cling to each other, crying for hours until they passed out. Sometimes screaming and throwing things at each other. Henry resented the fact that Emma had the opportunity to say goodbye to Regina, while he was the last to find out his mother was dead. Sometimes they would go days without seeing or speaking to each other completely. It was unhealthy, but it was the only way they knew how to cope with Regina's death.
Emma dreamed of Regina every night. Some nights she relived the moment she found her body in the vault. Some nights she made it there in time, saving the woman from her untimely death. And some nights, she had a rare glimpse into a future they could have had together, a family that could have been. Those nights were the hardest, as Emma knew they would never come true.
One night, two months after Regina's funeral, Emma's dream was different.
Emma walked past the mirror in the hallway, when Regina's face appeared behind the glass, tears running down her cheeks. "I Love You, Emma Swan." The last words Regina spoke to her, were running through her mind as she stared at the image of Regina in the mirror.
"Regina!" She cried, as she reached out for Regina, her fingertips lightly touching the mirror. "I miss you so much." She cried, her tears felt so real as they fell down her face.
"I miss you too, My Love." Regina said, a supportive smile reaching across her face. "We will one day be together again." She added, as the dream began to fade. "I Love You, Emma Swan" was the last thing Emma heard.
Emma shot up in bed, throwing the covers off her body, running out of the room at full speed, heading straight to Henry's room.
"Henry! Wake up!" She screamed, turning the lights on, scaring Henry awake.
"Mom! What is your problem?" Henry screamed, throwing a pillow at Emma, hitting her in the face, a weird smile spread across it.
"I know where Regina is." Emma said. "Get up! I need your help."
"Mom? What are you talking about?" Henry asked, confused.
"I think I know how to get your mom back!"
"Mom? Dad? Are you home?" Emma called, as she and Henry barged into the loft, startling Snow and Charming as they made breakfast in the tiny kitchen.
"Emma? What's the matter?" Snow asked, shocked by her daughter's sudden change in demeanor.
"I think I know where Regina is." Emma announced, Henry smiling behind her.
"Emma…Henry…Regina's dead." Snow said, her voice sad.
"Yes, I know. She died. But that doesn't mean she's gone forever." Emma said, a wide smile forming on her face. "Henry and I have been doing research for the past two days. And we think we can get her back." Emma said, smiling at Henry.
"You guys are still grieving. Regina is gone. There's no coming back." Charming said, stepping towards his daughter and grandson.
"True. Once someone moves on, there's no coming back." Emma said. "But I don't think Regina has moved on yet, which means there is still a chance."
"Emma, what are you saying?" Snow asked.
"I think Regina is still in the Underworld." Emma said, as the door opened behind her, revealing Zelena, storming into the apartment.
"So that's what this is all about." She huffed, clearly annoyed for being awoken early.
"Yes." Emma said, wrapping her arm around Henry's shoulders. "Henry and I are going to the Underworld to look for Regina and hopefully bring her back." Emma smiled.
"And how do you plan on getting into the Underworld? Without dying, that is." Zelena asked.
"We found a spell that could open a portal to the Underworld, but we need blood magic. Someone related to Regina by blood." Emma explained, turning to Zelena.
"That's why you need my help." She said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Yes. Well, your blood at least." Emma said.
"I'm in. I'll help you, but only because she's my sister." Zelena said.
"Thank you, Aunt Zelena." Henry said, turning towards Zelena, her face shocked when she heard Henry call her 'Aunt'
"Great! What about you guys?" Emma asked, turning back to Snow and Charming. "You in?"
"Emma, you can't be serious. The Underworld is a dangerous place." Charming said.
"Oh we're very serious. We're going with or without you." Emma said.
"Well, in that case, I'm in." Snow said, turning to Charming. "Charming?" She asked.
"I guess we're going to the Underworld." Charming said. "When do we leave?"
"As soon as possible!"
A/N: This was one of the hardest chapters I've ever had to write in my entire writing career. Killing Regina was the hardest thing I've ever had to write.
But have no fear. I promised the MCD was only temporary!
