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Chapter 20
Capricorn didn't see Meggie for the rest of that day. Throughout the day since they had parted ways he had thought of seeking her out, he knew that eventually they would have to talk, but Meggie's words kept him in place. After everything he had told her she had said she needed time to consider everything, so as much as he wanted to find her, and discuss everything with her he decided to give her that. He had in many ways just flung this news on her and he knew he should have told her sooner. So, now he knew it was not too much for her to ask for some time to come to terms with his departure. He also knew though that she would never be okay with it. But every second she was gone hurt him deeply. He wanted so badly to see her walk into the throne room and walk into his arms. He wanted her to understand why she was doing this, that everything would be alright, and that he would return to her.
"Everything will be fine. She will come back, we will talk about all of this, and she will forgive me. I hope," thought Capricorn as the day came to a close his heart still yearning for her.
"She will forgive me," thought Capricorn again when he finally went in search of her. Despite his desperation to speak with her Capricorn moved slowly through the halls of the castle. He knew her anger was warranted, it was that that fueled his fear that his actions would forever change their relationship. So, when he entered the bedroom they shared he still wasn't completely ready for the conversation to come, but then he found that unlike expected she wasn't there. Capricorn had been sure that he would find her there waiting for him to come find her, but the room was empty. But Capricorn didn't panic yet. Next he tried the rose garden, but again Meggie was nowhere to be found.
"Basta," called Capricorn his worry clear on his face when the guard appeared.
"Yes, sir. What is wrong?" said Basta his head bowed. Silently then he awaited his instructions, he would always do exactly as Capricorn commanded as he had in the Ink world though he didn't always agree with his every decision. Like Meggie, he too did not want him to go back to their world. He did not miss that world at all, he did not want to go back for fear of never returning, but he knew this was not his decision. Capricorn was hell-bent on concurring that world and Basta knew there was nothing he could do to talk him out of it. After all that was not his job; it was his job to obey and nothing more.
"Have the guards search the castle. The queen is gone and I need her found immediately. When she is found though don't bother her in any way, just come get me, and I will handle things from there," ordered Capricorn his deepest fear returning to him in that moment. Though she had chased it away until then Capricorn found himself worrying again. He had feared for so long that Meggie would leave him that he would say or do something to her to make her stop loving him. That one day she would leave him and as the guards went out to search for her he feared that once more. That they would find she was gone. But Capricorn tried to push these thoughts away as he moved through the halls too. He kept the faith in his heart, he remembered everything they had shared, and he tried to believe as he had that she loved him no matter what. That her love for him would keep her by his side forever, but part of him still couldn't believe it. Not until Basta came running towards him, a relieved look on his face did it leave because Capricorn knew they had found her.
"Where is she?" said Capricorn beginning to calm down just a little bit though his heart still pounded. He would never truly calm down until he saw her right there before his eyes.
"We found her, sir. She is in the church," whispered Basta barely finishing his sentence before Capricorn was moving down the hall.
When he got to the church, Capricorn just stood there in front of it. He didn't know what would be said between them when he walked through those doors. Finally though he moved up the steps not stopping again until he stood in the doorway seeing Meggie as soon as he entered the building. Like usual, the second he saw her, his heart yearned for her. He could see Meggie sitting amongst the pews, she wasn't moving, and he couldn't hear her crying anymore.
"She will forgive me," thought Capricorn one last time silence surrounding him as he entered the building more walking towards her. It wasn't until he got closer that he saw she was still crying. Her tears were silent, but her body especially her shoulders shook with the force of them. They only stopped him for a moment because before he knew it he was close enough to touch her. Capricorn considered sitting next to her, but he thought better of it. Until he knew for sure where they stood he thought it would be better if he waited to be close to her. She might not want to be near him right now.
He knew she was still mad and she might still need her space, so instead he moved to stand behind her. Gently Capricorn placed his hands on her shoulders massaging them when she leaned back into his touch.
"I knew you'd find me here," whispered Meggie breaking the silence between them her head tilting back so she could peer up at him smiling at him for a moment making him smile back. In that moment as he gazed down at her Capricorn couldn't help, but think how beautiful she was. He would always think her beautiful and smiling at her still he thought of how he loved her. How he would always love her.
"I had to send out guards, you've never come here before. Usually you go to our room or the garden," whispered Capricorn leaning down hoping she would let him kiss her.
"I needed to think and I figured why not here? These walls are oddly soothing to me," whispered Meggie before their lips touched in a sweet kiss.
"Do you remember the last time we were here?" whispered Capricorn as their lips parted. Meggie smiled at him bringing one of her hands to his she held his hand before pecking him on the lips.
"Yes, I'll never forget. We were married here, right here, in this room," whispered Meggie before her hands gently pulled him close until he was sitting next to her. The second he was by her side Capricorn felt her arms wrap around him, her head fell to his chest, and with her tears still falling Meggie hugged him tight.
"I'm so scared I'm going to lose you," exclaimed Meggie her whole body trembling with the force of her tears. Her words made him pull her closer his arms encircling her refusing to let her go. Capricorn really didn't want to ever be parted from her, he was just as afraid that he would never see her again, but something told him he had to do this. Capricorn knew he just knew he had to do this.
"Please don't go," cried Meggie burying her head in his chest the silence thick around them as he tried to find the words to say in response. When he knew what he needed to say to her Capricorn kissed the top of her head making her look at him instantly. He didn't say anything still then as he took her face in his hands peering into the blue eyes he loved so much. He memorized those eyes in that moment for they would be in his dreams every second he was gone. Capricorn continued onto her lips kissing them with a tender ferocity. He memorized them too; when he was gone he wanted to remember everything about her even though he knew it wouldn't make him miss her any less. Then he pulled her closer as his fingers cleaned her face of her tears and holding her close he kissed her again.
"I'll never not be here, Meggie. I love you. No matter where I go that will never change, so even though I will be leaving you for a short time I will always come back. You are not losing me," exclaimed Capricorn kissing her again.
This kiss was short then the ones that came before though, for Meggie quickly pulled away to look at him the anger evident in her eyes again. She didn't say anything instead she only stared at him a moment as if deciding what to do before suddenly she had her back to him once more. Her tears were gone now and once again she would not let him touch her.
"That's just it though, you might not come back. You could get killed there, Capricorn, and I would still be here. I would never know. You might not even be able to get back to me. There are no readers in the Ink world. How were you planning to get back to me in the first place?" whispered Meggie looking at him for an answer. Capricorn hadn't expected her to ask such a question as valid as it was. But he couldn't look her in the eye in that moment for he did have an answer for her he just didn't want to tell her what it was. He wasn't sure if it was worth making her madder at him then he already was. Meggie wasn't going to let him avoid the question though. Her eyes were trained on him demanding an answer without saying a word. It was the angry conviction in her eyes, the conviction that demanded an answer that made him realize he had no choice; he had to tell her the truth.
"I would never leave you without a way to get back to you, Meggie. I planned on taking your father with me…he is a reader…he can read me back," said Capricorn knowing immediately from the silence that filled the air that she did not like his answer. Meggie was still staring at him, he wished he could know what was going through her mind in that moment because as angry as he knew she was she didn't show it. Instead Meggie appeared to be speechless.
"No…you can't take him…he'll never do it. My father wants nothing more than to keep us apart…he would rather die than read you back. You have to take me, Capricorn; I can read us back or even write something to bring us back. We both know I am an asset as a reader and a writer," whispered Meggie her voice pleading with him now. It was in that moment that Capricorn spun her to face him. The look on his face was set in stone and Meggie knew in that moment he would still not let her go, but despite that she didn't give up. She was determined to get him to take her with him.
"Meggie, I need you to understand I need to do this. You said you believed I could rule the Ink world; has that changed?" said Capricorn letting their foreheads touch.
Meggie smiled at him in that moment as her hand touched his cheek.
"I believe in everything you do, my love, even this. As upset as I am that we will be apart, I love you, and that love makes it so I believe in everything you do. But that same love is why I don't want you to do this. I love you so much I can't bear losing you. If you didn't come back it would kill me, if you didn't come back whether it be because of death of because you don't want to, I wouldn't be able to survive without you. I love you more than anything in the world, Capricorn. You are my king, my love, and my husband," exclaimed Meggie her tears flowing once more as she leaned in to kiss him passionately feeling as he held her as close as possible. Their kiss continued for the longest time as everything she said sunk into his heart. Her words almost made him give in and not go, but just almost. Something in Capricorn wouldn't let him do that, something inside him knew that this was something he had to do. Meggie found herself in his lap by the time their lips parted and looking at him she knew she would have to let him go despite her fears. But just the thought of it had tears gathering heavily in her eyes again as each fear played out in her head.
When Capricorn looked into those eyes he saw her fears and he knew immediately he had to know all of them.
"Tell me what you're thinking," breathed Capricorn stroking her cheek. Meggie wouldn't answer him at first, she wouldn't even look at him for a moment then, but when she did instead of speaking she wrapped her arms around him tight. All was silent as he held her as close as she did him and when she finally spoke what she said couldn't have shocked him more.
"You know I'm afraid you'll be killed, but as silly as it might seem I worry that you might decide not to come back at all," said Meggie her words rushed and her eyes downcast. What she said truly surprised him. Capricorn couldn't help, but stare at her because she was right her fear really was silly. There was no way that would ever happen. There was no way he wouldn't want to come back to her; he loved her. Capricorn just didn't understand why she would think he wouldn't want to come back to her? To get that answer Capricorn made her look at him again their foreheads still touching as she peered into his eyes once more. She knew he loved her of that was sure, so he just couldn't understand what would make her think such a thing.
"My love, my beautiful queen, what would ever make you think such a thing? You know how much I love you. Why would I not want to come back?" said Capricorn kissing her chastely on the lips. Slowly then his lips covered her face making her smile again before he claimed her lips again kissing her with all the love he held in his soul. Meggie stared at him then before slowly she drew away.
"You could meet someone else. You could meet someone in your world that would make a better queen then me. You could fall in love with someone else and forget all about me," whispered Meggie beginning to cry again trying to leave his arms, but he wouldn't let her. Capricorn held her firmly in place on his lap. Her back was to him now, but holding her against his chest still Capricorn buried his head in her neck.
Capricorn didn't say anything in response as he held her close hoping to sooth her fears. He could feel her crying still and kissing the skin of her neck he stroked her waist as his lips found her ear. By the time they left the church she would know that no such thing was ever going to happen.
"What makes you think any other woman could replace you? You are my queen, you are my love. What makes you think any woman in any world could make me forget you?" whispered Capricorn one arm sliding around her waist before the other slowly joined it.
"Because I'm not a real queen," said Meggie wiping at the tears on her face. Once again Capricorn found himself struck speechless. He had never expected her to think such a thing. What she said couldn't have been farther from the truth for to him she was the only true queen he would have as long as he lived.
"Meggie, that's not true. You are my queen, my one true queen," breathed Capricorn feeling as she shook her head in disagreement almost immediately. But Capricorn shook his head too. She was the type of woman he had always hoped would stand by his side. All this time he had thought she knew that, but now he realized maybe she didn't.
"Meggie, you are the only queen I would have by my side. You are a good queen who knows how to be feared, but also kind at the same time. You are a queen that I know I can trust to watch my kingdom when I'm away and who I trust to guide my every decision. You are the best queen I could have ever asked for," exclaimed Capricorn holding her close still. He wanted more than anything to turn her in his direction so he could look into her eyes, but he didn't. When she was ready to look at him he knew she would.
"No, I'm not. We both know I'm nothing, but a pretty face. A real queen wouldn't need you to protect her all the time. A real queen could go with you and fight by your side. I can't do that; I am powerless. I am too weak," exclaimed Meggie shaking her head before suddenly Capricorn couldn't take it anymore. Capricorn turned her head making her look at him and capturing her lips he kissed her with a passion he hadn't known existed until he met her. When they parted he didn't let her turn away making her look at him still; he didn't want her to miss a word he said. He wanted her to look into his eyes so she would know he spoke the truth.
"Meggie, you will always be my one and only queen and my one and only love. You're the one I want, you're the queen I've dreamed about, but never thought I'd find. I love you. There will never be another queen for me. You are my true queen. It is because I love you that I protect you not because I think you weak. You are not weak. You have so much power, not just as a reader or as a writer, but with your love. You've taught me that love is a power and the strength of which we love will always be our greatest power. You are so much more than a pretty face, you are the love of my life, and you are the only wife I plan to ever have. It is your love, our love, that will keep me alive in the Ink world, and reunite us when our fight is over," said Capricorn watching as she stopped crying the more he spoke until a smile adorned her face. Finally Meggie turned to face him fully her smile on her face in full force now. It didn't take long for her to take his face into her hands letting their foreheads touch as she kissed him feeling as he returned it without a moment's hesitation.
"Still mad at me?" sighed Capricorn afterward unsure as to what her answer would be. He knew he had her support in his quest now, but he wouldn't be surprised if she was still mad.
"Yes, but not for the reasons I was before," whispered Meggie leaning closer to him. Hiding her face in his neck, Meggie breathed him in wanting to remember everything about him when he was gone. She would support him in his endeavor, but it wouldn't make her stop missing him. She would miss him dearly and everyday he was gone he would have her heart with him as he always did.
"Why are you mad now?" breathed Capricorn thinking he might already know the reason.
"Capricorn I love you and I realize now that you have to do this, but you could have told me sooner. You have been hiding something from me for weeks and I know this was what it was. You should have told me," said Meggie frowning at him. Capricorn knew she was right as he pulled her into another kiss. He should have told her the second he made the decision to go back despite his fears. And in that moment as he kissed her still he vowed to never keep anything from her ever again. When the kiss ended Meggie stood up pulling him along with her. They slowly began to leave the church walking side by side his arm around her waist.
"So how long are you going to be mad at me?" whispered Capricorn looking down at her as they walked.
"Oh I don't know. When are you leaving?" said Meggie looking up at him. She knew she wouldn't be able to stay mad at him until then as much as she wished she could. Her love for him wouldn't let her.
"There is still a lot to prepare, so you won't be saying goodbye to me just yet," whispered Capricorn pulling her closer. Like her he was not relishing the idea of being away from her. She was his love if something should happen while he was gone he would never forgive himself which is why he was leaving plenty of guards behind to protect her. And why he was taking Silvertongue and his mother with him too. He would not leave them here with her in fear they would try to harm her again.
Meggie suddenly kissed his cheek then making him look at her. He could see in her eyes that she would miss him as he would miss her.
"I can't stay mad at you, so I wouldn't worry," whispered Meggie smiling up at him.
"I love you, Capricorn," whispered Meggie wrapping her arms around him to let him lead her out of the church.
"I love you too, Meggie," whispered Capricorn kissing the top of her head as they left the church holding her impossibly close. He knew when the time came to leave her it would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do.
