CHAPTER 3 - Storm Begins
Vadim Kiselev "Les Nuages", "Devant La Tempete"
Was it a good idea to promise Andre something so crazy? - Oscar wondered as she was sitting in her father's office. General was raging like crazy right in front of her, screaming at the top of his throat and throwing invectives at her. She was already "a whore", "a downfall of the family", and even "a worthless rag". Well, she expected her father not to take the news of her pregnancy very well, so she wasn't too surprised by his outbreak. She had to wait it out and then try to talk. She had a plan prepared, but did not know if her father would accept it. She watched calmly as the precious crystal lion figure, thrown against the wall, crumbled into a thousand pieces. Father was really furious.
- Who is he..? - the general hissed, after he had poured out all his anger on her
- Is it so important, Father? - she asked, trying to put her voice in a flat tone
- Don't be cheeky, Oscar! - her father pouted - You don't think he'll just get away with it. I'll kill the bastard! - the general pounded his fist on the desk so hard that half of the items ended up on the floor - Who is he?!
Oscar was silent. If father found out, Andre would be in danger.
- Maybe it's that bloody dandy, Count Fersen? - the general asked ironically - Since he came back, he's just been constantly around here. I should have thrown him out of this house a long time ago! Is that him, Oscar?
The woman denied it. But she did not like the direction this conversation was going.
- If you don't tell me right away, I'll question everyone in this house and everyone in Versailles. You will be the laughing stock of everyone!
- You will not do it, Father - Oscar said calmly, looking him in the eyes - Remember that if I go down, I will take the whole family with me. Since when do you not care about the honor of this family?
Her father looked at her with a mixture of disbelief and fury, but then nodded and sat down heavily in his chair.
- Lasonne says it's too late for the procedure - the general said resignedly.
- Yes, as far as I know, it's too late - Oscar lied. Her doctor was a really great man.
- Ehh, you are well aware that this is not how I imagined it - continued the father, a little reassured - Since you were born, I wanted you to replace a son to me. But apparently you are not meant to. So I think you should get married, Oscar.
- I won't do it, Father - she replied confidently - I'm not going to get married. With anyone.
- Oscar, don't tease me - the general growled again - You and.. the father of this child should take responsibility for your own actions. The easiest way would be a quick marriage.
- There is no such possibility, Father - Oscar spoke again.
- Oscar, are you aware of what you are saying? - the general sighed in exasperation - You are an unmarried woman. Pregnant. It disgraces you and our whole family. When everyone knows about it, we'll be ruined!
- No one needs to know, Father - she said firmly - I have a proposal, and I'd like to introduce it to you now.
- Allright, speak - the general waved his hand resignedly and leaned back against the chair.
- I'll take a year off duty. Lasonne will help me come up with an excuse, maybe a disease, that will force me to stay alone. The king and queen will surely have no objections. I will give born to a child and then give it to his father. After a year I will return to Royal Guard as if nothing happens and I will still be your son and heir. Nobody needs to know about anything - she repeated again, more forcefully.
- The servants will gossip - the general hinted ironically.
- We'll open the unused south wing and I'll move over there for the time being. I'll take Rosalie and.. Andre with me - she said the second name with difficulty - We'll just tell Marie, because someone competent has to take care of me.
The general was silent for a moment, considering her words. He looked at her searchingly, as if trying to x-ray her hidden motives.
- Will the baby be handed over? Will you not keep it? - he made sure.
- No, I'm not gonna keep them. I will give them to his father - she replied without hesitation - This pregnancy.. You must believe me, father, but this pregnancy is a coincidence and I did not want or plan it. I don't want to change my life because of it. I want to continue to be your son and commander of the Guard, that doesn't change. So if I have to give birth, I want to do it secretly and then forget about it. So please say yes, and in a year everything will be back to normal.
The general listened carefully and weighed the pros and cons. Oscar seemed honest with what she said. Well.. he treated her like a son, like a man from the start, so how can he blame her now for using her independence to take some pleasure in bed. It's natural, all men do it. Pregnancy was indeed a problem, but it was not a hopeless situation. If Oscar get married, he would lose his heir and family pride. Moreover, her proposal seemed reasonable.
- Okay, Oscar - he replied after a long reflection - I agree, but on one condition. I don't want to see the baby in this house. Never. Neither this child, nor his father, whoever he is. After birth, you are to give them over immediately and close this case. If you don't promise me this, I'll have to take more radical steps.
- It won't be necessary, Father - Oscar replied seriously - I never intended to keep this child. You don't have to worry about that.
- Okay - the general nodded -I wouldn't want to be forced to do something that would hurt both of us.
They talked for another hour, then Oscar left her father's office and hid in the privacy of her room. In the evening she called Andre.
...
- You called me - he said as he stood in her room. He tried to remain calm, although he knew exactly what she had called him for.
- Sit in front if me - she indicated the place for him.
He obediently did as she asked. She stared at him with ice-cold eyes, and Andre began to wonder where the kind and affectionate woman who often laughed with him over a glass of wine had gone. Or the one he'd raced on horses with until they were out of breath, and ended up in the Seine, splashing cold water on each other. And the latter was not just a childhood memory. Why had Oscar changed so much?
- I talked to my father and he agreed that I'll give born to this baby - she said without any special preamble.
- Really? - Andre asked, surprised. How was it possible that the general just agreed?
- Really - she replied - We will move to the southern wing of the manor during pregnancy. I'm gonna need Nanny and Rosalie's help, so they both need to be aware of this whole thing. Besides, I order complete discretion.
- It's understandable, Oscar - he replied, feeling his heart fill with some strange warmth. Not for long.
- There is one more, most important thing, Andre - she added after a moment, in a very serious voice - The baby should be born in March. There are still many months until then, but I would like you to spend this time finding a place to live.
Andre started and looked at her with a mixture of surprise and pain.
- Shall I get away from here, Oscar? - he managed to choke out.
- It's obvious - she replied carelessly - You probably didn't think that the child would be able to live here with us. Since you've decided to take care of him, you'll have to leave with him. It's a non-negotiable condition for my father. He doesn't want to see this baby here.
- And you, Oscar? - Andre asked with a lump in his throat, feeling his hands clench into fists - What do you want?
- I don't know what you mean, Andre! - she pouted - Why did you insist not understanding it? What happened between us then in June was a mistake, it shouldn't have happened at all. And this pregnancy is an unfortunate accident, but I am responsible enough to face the consequences now. So I will give birth to this child as you asked me, but my role will end there. Of course I am not a monster and I will not leave you with nothing. I will be sending you xxx* livres every month. This should cover housing and food, and clothing costs. I think that..
- That's not what I asked, Oscar - Andre interrupted her tirade, his tone showing the first signs of anger - I want to know if you, like your father, wish us both to disappear from this house and your life.
She looked him in the eye for a very long time without saying anything, and Andre felt that she was hesitating. However, her answer left no illusions.
- Yes, Andre - she said, her voice hard as steel - I want you to leave. I don't want to see you or the baby here. Never.
Andre got up, a little more abruptly than he had intended, and the table that separated them rocked dangerously. He clenched his fists even tighter and looked at her with an expression of agitation and pain. But then he exhaled the air that he kept in his lungs and opened his hands.
- As you wish, Oscar - he replied, as he did every day, when she asked him to prepare Caesar for the journey, or a cup of tea. After all, he meant even less to her than her horse or her daily habits. Breathe - he said to himself - Breathe. Now go. Step by step.
He didn't even know how he got into the stable. He jumped on his horse and galloped in the direction the other had chosen.
…
What happened between us then in June was a mistake, it shouldn't have happened at all.
This pregnancy is an unfortunate accident.
I don't want to see you or the baby here. Never.
Andre galloped, the words still pounding on his head. He wanted to scream, but his throat tightened with bitterness and desperation. Clouds rolled over his head, black as his thoughts. The first thunder was heard on the horizon, loud as his heartbeat.
Why did you say that, Oscar?
Why did you do that, Oscar?
Who you are?
He used to think of her as a person close to him. It seemed to him that even though his love was not reciprocated, their souls were fused together and that they would always be inseparable. He proudly claimed to know Oscar best of all. How could he be so wrong?
Oscar had never felt all these things for him. Who was he actually for her?
Nobody important, he thought to himself, since now she decided to get rid of me without hesitation. The thought hurt as if someone had stuck a knife right through his heart.
Yet he still loved her. He still loved her so much. Whatever she did, however she hurt him. So he was a fool, a naive idiot. He designed his demise himself, believing that a woman like Oscar could love a man like him. What a stupidity!
Andre sat down on the river bank and for a moment he thoughtlessly threw stones into the water. In the past, when he felt he was going crazy with this love, he went to Paris and got drunk in some inferior tavern. From today on, he was no longer allowed to do such things. From today he is responsible not only for himself.
The first drops of rain began to fall on his head, but he paid no attention to them. He just hid his face in his hands, which were trembling slightly. He didn't know how to handle it all by himself. How would he be going to raise this child all by himself? Where would they live? How would they live? He took a few deep breaths as panic was consuming him. No, damn it! He must not give up! He must be strong from today. Stronger every day. He would do anything for this child.
…
- You should change, darling - Grandma said to him as he sat at the kitchen table, dripping water. Outside, the wind roared, and the shutters trembled under the heavy rain.
- Will you not reproach me? - he looked at her with surprised eyes. When he told her everything, the old lady sat for a long time without a word and looked at him sadly.
- Will it change anything now, Andre, if I shout at you or curse you? - she replied with a sigh – What's done is done. Now we have to think carefully about what to do next.
- We? - Andre asked, surprised.
- You don't think I'll leave you alone with all this - Marie pouted - Do you even know anything about raising children? Can you dress them, feed them? Do you know what they need?
- I still have time, I can learn - he replied firmly.
- Nonsense - the grandmother laughed bitterly - You can't do it alone. If this is what the general wanted, then I will leave this house with you.. with you both - she corrected herself
- Thank you - Andre stood up and snuggled against her lap the way he used to do when he was a child
- You're all wet, sweetheart - Marie gently stroked his rain-soaked hair - If you don't change your clothes right away, you will get sick.
…
- Where would we go, Grandma? - Andre asked, sitting under the blanket in front of the fireplace, in which the fire crackled comfortingly - I have some savings, but we certainly cannot afford to buy an apartment. The premises in Paris are so expensive..
- You want to live here, don't you? - said the grandmother, handing him a cup of tea - You think that one day she would change her mind and you prefer to be close.
- Yes - Andre confirmed. Grandma knew his heart so well.
- There is no need to worry in advance - she smiled at him - You have to look well, and maybe something will be found. I will also ask around. Moreover we don't have to buy anything at all. Many people rent apartments or rooms, and since Oscar has decided to help financially, you can't refuse but take advantage of it. Do not worry!
- I'll try - said Andre only, smiling back.
...
A few days later, Oscar moved to the south wing of de Jarjayes Manor, and Andre began his journey in search of a place to live.
*I really don't know how much all cost then in XVIII century in Paris and it is not even important for the story so I leave it as it is ;)
