CHAPTER 11 - Hello, I'm your..


Vadim Kiselev - "Hello", "Autumn wind"


When Oscar opened her eyes, she saw the whole room flooded with sunlight. The panes of the eastern windows sparkled with drops of night rain, but the rays of the sun shining through them foreshadowed a beautiful day. Oscar looked up and a few steps from her makeshift bed she saw Nanny Marie's brown skirt. The old lady was hovering around the stove preparing breakfast. The delicious scent of porridge and fresh barley coffee was coming from the stove top, and on the table was a bread with a crispy crust, cut into thick slices.

Oscar struggled to get up from the mattress. The wound still hurt badly, although more than a week had passed since the bullet had ripped her arm apart. Marie immediately noticed movement on the bed, took her eyes off the porridge pot for a moment and smiled gently.

- Good morning - she said gently.

Oscar felt her heart tremble at the familiar voice, and at that simple greeting. For a moment it seemed to her that they all still lived at the Jarjayes Manor, and that life was running smoothly. Their days were so quiet until she and Andre destroyed everything in one night.

Andre ..

Oscar shuddered suddenly as she remembered what had happened the night before. She scanned the room, but he was nowhere to be seen.

- Good morning, Nanny. Is Andre awake yet? - she asked weakly

Nanny looked at her attentively and nodded.

- Did he say something?

- No - Marie replied - He didn't say a word. He's gone to the stables to feed the animals, and he'll probably be back soon.

Oscar sighed and slowly rose from her makeshift bed. She looked at the bandage covering her arm and saw that it was stained with blood. So with nanny's help, she changed the bandage and then quickly washed up. Andre appeared as soon as she returned to the room. He looked at her sullenly and just nodded in greeting, not exchanging a word with her. Before Oscar summoned the courage to speak first, in the corridor next door she heard the sound of small, child's feet, and in a moment a boy burst into the room, like a small hurricane. His dark, disheveled curls framed a round face with full, flushed cheeks. However, Oscar did not have time to get a good look at him because the boy ran up to his father and clung to his leg in a tight embrace. In a moment he broke away and spoke loudly and enthusiastically.

- Papa, Papa! Do you know what I dreamed of? Yeey! - he laughed happily - I dreamed that I was riding such a horse, completely white as snow, you know? Like you said mom had. The same! And he had a long mane like the one on our wall! It was fun, Papa!

Andre blushed and cast a nervous glance at Oscar standing nearby. The boy continued to stare at his father with eyes shining with enthusiasm, but then he frowned at his small brow, surprised that his father was not responding as quickly as usual. Then he looked back curiously, what was so distracting. When he saw the stranger, he immediately hid behind his father's legs, like a small frightened animal. However, in reality he was a very curious person, so in a moment he looked out of his hiding place, staring at a woman he did not know with eyes large with interest. Oscar stood petrified because she had just noticed one very important thing. While the boy was so similar to Andre that no one had the slightest doubt that he was his son, a pair of eyes identical to her own looked at Oscar from the child's face. She felt as if she was looking at herself in a mirror.

- Be good and say good morning, Lusien - Andre said to the baby, and he gently grabbed his hand, pulling him out from behind him.

- Good morning - the boy greeted a little shyly, still staring at the woman with surprised eyes.

- Lusien.. - Oscar whispered, and Andre nodded.

How many days, months, and years had she wondered, how Andre could name their son? She knows it now. Lu. Lusien. She thought of the first rays of sunlight that fell into her room when, after hours of painful labor, she finally heard her baby scream. Did Andre think about that too when he named the boy? Oscar felt her throat tighten and the image in front of her eyes began to blur.

- Who you are? - suddenly the boy asked boldly, unable to bear the adults saying nothing.

- I'm your.. - she began to speak softly, trying to fight back the tears, but Andre cut her off quickly.

- This is your Aunt Francoise – he said, staring intently into Oscar's eyes - She came all the way from Paris to meet you.

Oscar felt as if someone had suddenly poured ice water over her. She swallowed her disappointment silently, then smiled gently.

- Yes – she confirmed Andre's words, leaning forward and reaching out to the child - It's a pleasure to meet you, Lusien.

The boy came closer and confidently put his little hand in her hand, which she squeezed lightly.

- So cool! - the child was pleased and instead of withdrawing his hand, he grasped Oscar tighter and pulled towards the table - Come on, Auntie! We're going to be eating dinner now!

- Breakfast, Lusien - Andre corrected him.*

- Haha - the boy laughed happily and sat down on the bench, without releasing Oscar's hand - Auntie will be sitting with me! I will eat porridge, Aunt, because Papa says it's healthy and if I eat it, I'll be as big as Dad!

Oscar suppressed a laugh and looked amusedly at Nanny and Andre. Marie replied the same, only Andre looked under a frown at his son, who accepted the new person at home without the slightest hesitation. Of course, he knew that Lusien had always been a very outgoing and direct child, and aside from his initial shyness, he had no trouble making friends, but he had never gotten close to anyone so quickly. Maybe the term "aunt", which Andre made up quickly, without long thinking, made the boy think of Oscar as a member of the family right away. But they still had to be careful. Lusien was only just over four years old, but he was a very intelligent kid and he would ask a lot of questions for sure. Andre should sit down with Oscar and agree on a common version that would be safe and as far from the truth as possible. But at the very thought of having to talk to her, Andre felt sick and decided to leave this unpleasant duty for later. He hoped that none of the women would say anything inappropriate while he was away.

Breakfast was passed in a pleasant atmosphere, although the adults did not talk much, but the child did not close his mouth.

- Auntie, do you know we have our own horse? He's as black as the coals from Great-grandma Marie's oven, and his name is Robuste. Funny, isn't it?

- Auntie, I am already so big that I can get water from the well myself, although Great-grandma does not agree because she says that if I come in, they will not pull me out!

- Auntie, this porridge is very good! Mr. Moreau brings us such seeds, and Great-grandma Marie cooks them, and we have porridge! Great, right?

- Auntie, and Madame Martin has such a black and white cat. This cat's name is Fripon, and he is fishing for mice in our stable. I would also like to have such a cat. Dad, can we have a cat? Please!

- Auntie, do you know that this horse on the wall was painted by Dad with such blue powder? Nice, isn't it? Although he doesn't look like Robuste at all..

- Auntie, I really dreamed of such a white horse! I would like to ride one someday. Dad teaches me a bit, but I only rode the Robuste. But he is black, not white.

- Then we can go to the stables and you will see my horse - Oscar managed to finally interject, amused - He is almost all white, only has black spots on the ends of his legs.

- Ooooh - the boy opened his eyes in surprise - Will I be able to get on him? Will I be able to, Dad? Papa, please!

- But only for a moment - Andre said, looking irritably at Oscar.

- Great! - Lusien rejoiced, then suddenly thought, looked intensely at Oscar and added - You have a horse like my mom. And hair too. Dad said mommy was very pretty. My mom died, you know? Are you mom's sister? - the child asked in one breath and completely without embarrassment.

Oscar felt an icy shiver down her spine for the second time in an hour. My mom died. So this was the explanation for the fact that the child has no mother. Oscar gave Andre a reproachful look but said nothing. It was not the best time to explain anything. Anyway, Andre wasn't even looking at her. He stared at his own plate and ate the porridge his grandma had prepared, without the slightest emotion.

- No, I'm not - Oscar only managed to say, because it was obvious that the child was waiting for an answer.

- Hmm, it's strange - the boy thought, supporting his chin with a small hand, a gesture surely observed in adults - Anyway, never mind - he smiled after a moment - I want to see your horse, Auntie! What is his name?

- His name is Caesar. He is a very beautiful and fast horse. He can rush like the wind - Oscar said, bringing another smile to her son's face.

- Thank you for breakfast, Grandma - Andre stood up suddenly, unable to bear this happy conversation anymore - I have to go to work. Be good Lusien and don't torture your great-grandmother and.. aunt, okay?

The boy nodded solemnly, but then he dove under the table and threw himself into his father's arms, cuddling tightly.

- Well, that's enough - Andre's voice softened - Grandma, I would like to have two more words with you.

Oscar watched as the two stood in front of the door for a long time and whispered something to each other, and then Andre left without even saying goodbye to her.

Andre returned in the afternoon. He entered the house carrying a large bundle which he carefully folded beside the window. Oscar was sitting with Lusien at the table on the garden terrace, where they were both trying to draw the most beautiful Caesar. As soon as the boy heard his father's voice, he broke away from drawing and ran inside as fast as he could. In a moment, he was soaring almost to the ceiling in Andre's outstretched arms, and they were both laughing crazy.

- Again! I want again! - Lusien demanded as Andre finally set him on the floor.

- That's enough, honey, I'm tired. But when I rest, we can still play - replied his father, seeing the sad expression on the child's face.

- Yay! - the child rejoiced - And do you know, Papa, that I rode Caesar today? He is as white as in my dream! Auntie took me with her and Caesar was walking around the stables. It was so fun, Dad - he sighed with satisfaction - Then we grabbed carrots for dinner. And we drew horses. But Auntie can't draw as nice as you can!

Hearing his son's last words, Andre couldn't help but burst out laughing. He suddenly remembered all those moments from his childhood with Oscar, when the teacher was upset with her that she had drawn something again carelessly, giving her Andre as a role model. Oscar was angry with him then, giving him a hard time afterwards in fencing lessons. In this she was always better than him, and she did not fail to use it to take revenge for other humiliations. More than once he had to flee from her fury on a tree. He chuckled silently at the memory, but then his expression grew serious. Oscar was standing, leaning against the patio door frame and staring straight at him with a gentle smile, probably remembering exactly the same stories. Andre straightened up and stopped laughing, because other, much more bitter, memories overshadowed those happy childhood memories.

- I am very glad that you had a nice time today - he said to his son - Play alone for a moment now, because I need to talk to your aunt.

The boy nodded obediently and went in search of the toy while Andre indicated Oscar to a seat at the table and sat down beside her. He took a rolled-up letter from his vest and set it on the table.

- What is that? - Oscar asked without preamble.

- A letter from Rosalie - Andre said flatly - It should have arrived yesterday, but the mail carriage had an accident on the way, and the letters arrived only today. Rosalie wanted to warn me you would come but failed - he added sarcastically

Oscar looked at him attentively. What could Rosalie have written for him in that letter?

- You saved the baby? How noble of you! So you are a hero now - continued Andre without hiding his mockery - Rosalie writes that you are also a fugitive. I must admit that I am surprised. The service in the Guard has always been your top priority, and now you have left of your own free will? Very strange.

- A lot has changed since we last saw each other - Oscar managed to choke out.

- Oh yes! You don't even know how much. - Andre confirmed coldly - Going back to the letter. Rosalie was always very kind to us, taking care of the baby more than once when we needed it. She asked me to help you and I value her too much to say no. So I made the decision that you would be allowed to live here until your wound healed. Then you will leave and disappear from our live. I think it's fair of me, don't you think?

Oscar looked at him searchingly and suddenly realized that she did not recognize him at all, as if she were dealing with a complete stranger. It couldn't be the same person with whom she spent all her childhood and youth, the one with whom she entered adulthood. Her friend was a gentle and kind man, one with a heart one the palm and always a good word for everyone. Someone who helped only because someone needed it. Oscar stared into Andre's cold and distant eyes and didn't believe it was real. Did these ironic and bitter words really come out of the same mouth that told beautiful stories and sang happy melodies? The same ones that lulled their son to sleep yesterday? The ones that.. Oscar shuddered at the mere memory.

- Andre.. Let's talk calmly.. Please..

- I think I made myself clear yesterday. We have nothing to talk about with each other. You can stay here until you recover, but then I never want to see you again. Come here, please - he said, rising and pointing to the bundle on the floor - Your name is Francoise Boyer and you are my paternal cousin. There are dresses in the sheets, change your clothes. If you want to live here, you have to adapt. The people here are very nice and welcoming, but it's a small town and the news of a woman wearing men's clothes would get out quickly, and you don't seem to want that. I also don't want you to bring soldiers over here, so be very careful. I saw you have a sword. We have to hide it and you mustn't take it out, whatever happens.

Oscar crouched down and began to untangle the knots in the sheets in which the clothes were wrapped. When the fabric opened, she saw three very modest dresses and underwear inside. She sighed inwardly. That night, many years ago, she had promised herself that she would never wear a dress again. But the situation was difficult and she was not going to argue with Andre. Besides, in fact, she knew her friend had thought it well. His priority was the safety of the child and Oscar understood this perfectly well. She pulled the dresses out of the sheets and tossed them over her hand. She should change right away.

- These are Ella's dresses? - Marie, who so far only looked at the whole scene, not saying a word, asked quietly - Did you talk to her?

- I did - Andre nodded - I had to tell her what the situation was. And borrow dresses of course.

- What did she say?

- It's clear she wasn't thrilled - sighed Andre - It's not very suprising, isn't it? But she said she understood. I promised her it would be temporary.

- Good - his grandmother smiled with relief, and Andre nodded.

Oscar overheard their conversation as she walked slowly towards the nanny's room where she was supposed to change, not understanding a word. Suddenly she felt something tightly clench her leg and when she looked down she saw a pair of large blue eyes staring at her with emotion.

- Auntie, auntie! You don't know anything! - little Lusien whispered conspiratorially - Aunt Ella is Dad's beloved! And you know? Maybe I'll have a new mom soon! - the boy added with delighted voice.

And even though it was half a hot summer, Oscar suddenly felt a gust of cool autumn wind on her face. And then, for some incomprehensible reason, the wind reached her heart, which trembled with cold.

Disappointment. That's what she felt.

Though she didn't know why yet.


* All strange things which Lusien is saying - it's all thanks to mine younger son, who is 4,5yo now ;)